oh.holy.martel
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Joined 04-18-08, id: 1554909, Profile Updated: 09-24-10
Author has written 15 stories for Clare B. Dunkle, Twilight, Death Note, Harry Potter, Tales of Symphonia, and Tales of Vesperia.

Oh holy Martel, cast down thy divine forgiveness upon these corrupt souls and deliver them their eternal punishment with your customary grace. Love thy brother even if he has strayed from the path of righteousness and bring him back onto the path of light. Do not murder the other souls in the tree. Do not murder Yuan for losing your ring. Investigate thy brother's natural curve and interest and of course assure him of your support, wherever he may turn for harbor. Do not be mistaken for Colette. Sympathize with your fellow sisters and work to prevent discrimination. Kick Zelos in the appropriate place to prevent his friskiness. Deal out punishments judiciously, as a goddess ought, and try not to take offense when others in your presence invoke your name in vain. Protect thy brother and thy lover from all others, including themselves and the many who wish to kill them. Shine on in all your radiant grace.

... If there was a game about the Kharlan War, I have a feeling we would see you smack Mithos upside the head.

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Z Skit Theater by Twilight Scribe reviews
Hilarious antics on the part of Lloyd and the party with a new skit each chapter. Now with four hundred percent more spoilers!
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 436 - Words: 130,406 - Reviews: 6502 - Favs: 655 - Follows: 398 - Updated: 4/11 - Published: 8/8/2006
Semper Fidelis by Blind Author reviews
Complete. Written for a kinkmeme prompt: Moriarty frames John and Anthea of betrayals which cause both of the Holmes brothers to cut them off, and they then try to clear their names. Violence, het and slash: Mycroft/Anthea and John/Sherlock.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 60,221 - Reviews: 724 - Favs: 1,618 - Follows: 920 - Updated: 11/16/2012 - Published: 12/21/2010 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
The Marauder's Blog by Kayyness reviews
Okk... this is like the story by TwiLyght: The Hogwarts Blog, but in Marauder Era. Please review, there is the usual: j/l sb/randomhotgirl, and other fun stuff to find out about! But you have to read it! Starts in 5th year!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,415 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 6/13/2008 - James P., Sirius B.
From Here to Eternity by Sno Phoenix reviews
A collaborated story from a handful of talented writers. Just about anything can and will eventually happen except without the major focus on pairings. As you'll never know what's going to happen, you might as well read then, ne? Rating to be safe.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 46,269 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/1/2011 - Published: 5/15/2009
Gender Bending 2 by Cyberbanjo reviews
Zelos accidentally turns Lloyd back into Lydia, who gets revenge by giving Zelos a taste of his own medicine. Now, the hunt for a cure is on again, but without the Mana Leaf Herb, how are they ever going to fix things?
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,554 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 7/24/2007
Life Imitating Art by Hari-Aisu reviews
It's one thing to get to the top, it's another entirely in trying to stay there. If singer Yagami Raito can manage to stay alive through the fanatics, crazy homicidal maniacs and creepy detective stalkerness, he'll consider himself lucky. LxLight
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 21 - Words: 107,917 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 9/2/2010 - Published: 4/28/2008 - L, Light Y. - Complete
Sapphyre Raven Beaauetiful Jackson by Aish Sheva reviews
Sick of all those lousy OC fanfics? Here's the cure. This is the story of Sapphyre Jackson-with her dramatic past, her connections to canon, her awesome powers, and her long, beautiful black hair, she practically screams MARY SUE. It's a parody, guys. R&R
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,454 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 3/29/2010 - Published: 3/1/2009
Once upon a time ToS: Snow white by falcon crest reviews
Once upon a time there lived an evil queen… err, king named Yggdrasil. He was a very proud quee- king and proud of his looks. Every day he would look in his magic mirror.chapter 3 up! complete
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,973 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Zelos W. - Complete
AI: Alternate Incarceration by FFYP-det-Yagami reviews
Misa gets some handcuffs. Light is unhappy about the situation at large. AU - contains ridiculous revenge, awkward situations, swearing, vague nudity, a love test, L in a suit, Misa, and the dreaded Ame-chan. You have been warned... //Bonus chapters//
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 77,869 - Reviews: 223 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 4/24/2009 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Light Y., Misa A. - Complete
A Note to the Fangirls from Edward Elric by AdventureAddict reviews
You just don't get it, do you? I am not something to just boss around as you please. Not only is fanfiction completely illogical, it's downright annoying!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,142 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 1/28/2009 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Edward E. - Complete
Funny Alternate ToS Scenarios by Chosen Zelos reviews
In No Particular Order at all. The Ass Guard Saga Concludes FINALLY!
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 49 - Words: 66,691 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 8/31/2006
Minor Dilemmas by Mysterious Penname reviews
DISCONTINUED. Sequel to Minor Annoyances. Light and L have been living sort of peacefully for a couple of years, when a required visit to a certain orphanage shakes things up again. Poor guys. AU, OOC!Light, Shounen-ai
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,255 - Reviews: 566 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 6/7/2008 - L, Light Y. - Complete
Kratos discovers Fanfiction! by LateNiteSlacker reviews
The title says it all! Review if it makes you happy.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,759 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 12/13/2008 - Published: 8/31/2006 - Kratos A.
Mini Love Notes by KivaEmber reviews
AU. “I know you need to do this to patch things up guys, but could you leave your post its somewhere else? I can’t find the handle to the mini fridge door anymore.” --- Matsuda. LxRaitoxL cuteness.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,299 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 29 - Published: 11/28/2008 - L, Light Y. - Complete
Betchin' Blog by Songfic Misstress reviews
Matt starts to write a blog. Rated for language and eventual lemon. Lots of swearing in this kind of AU, more "altered circumstance" world. Lots of boisterous, lovable, gameplaying redhead. please R&R, This is a companion piece to Mello's "Fecking Diary".
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 31 - Words: 20,898 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 11/1/2008 - Published: 3/28/2008 - Matt, Mello
Desperate Rivals by SlightlyPsycho reviews
Light was finally about to get his wish and have L die. But then came lie detectors, mind games, an extra psycho New Kira appears, and wierd love/hate relationships. Warning: LXLight.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 70,293 - Reviews: 875 - Favs: 817 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 3/27/2008 - Published: 1/30/2008 - L, Light Y. - Complete
Near's Plushie Collection by kori hime reviews
The adventures of Near's plushies that are all disturbingly dead-on likenesses of everyone he knows. Some are happy, some aren't, but all have plushies! 4th installment: 'Rester REALLY needs a vacation. B Plushie/Mello Plushie.'
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,702 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/18/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008
Lie's Predictions by nife reviews
AU In a world where hate and power walk hand in hand, and halfelves are little more than property, one would wonder 'why do I continue to live' Sometimes answers are given in the oddest form. Yaoi, het, Mature. Pairings inside, Sylvia Viridian collab
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 75,818 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 1/27/2008 - Published: 10/6/2006 - Yuan, Zelos W.
Tales of a Twist: Fate of the Prodigy by My Lovely Yume reviews
After hunting down Kloitz and Virginia, the Imperial Research Academy has finally captured the prodigy child, Raine Sage. How will the Journey of World Regeneration change? What will happen to Raine and Genis? Only one way to find out. [Spoilers]
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,835 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/6/2007 - Published: 5/6/2007 - Raine S., Genis S.
Support SMITEM! by Temporal reviews
One day, after seeing Harry's living conditions, Draco gets the well meaning idea to save his classmates from living in the muggle world. Someone should really stop Draco when he's feeling altruistic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,599 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 7/7/2007 - Published: 5/13/2003 - Draco M., Ron W.
Time For a Change by LoriLynn1 reviews
Hermione Granger and Pansy Parkinson have a Potions mishap and end up switching bodies with one another. Because their Potion grade is at stake, they are forced to go along with these roles until the antidote is made. 6th year, multiple pairings
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 17 - Words: 90,218 - Reviews: 405 - Favs: 292 - Follows: 321 - Updated: 6/3/2007 - Published: 12/3/2006 - Hermione G., Draco M.
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3140 - Favs: 1,930 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Third reviews
The mage is always third. First comes the hero, second comes the princess, and third is the mage. For once, Rita wanted to be first. It'll take an Emperor to get her to realize that she isn't as ignored as she thought. RitaxIoder. Iota.
Tales of Vesperia - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,415 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 2/26/2011 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Rita M., Ioder
The Mage Who Made Mana reviews
Giving up blastia was the hardest thing Rita had ever done, and the celebrations made a mockery of it. When they begin to go missing and a strange Imperial custom is enacted, she joins another quest, taking along the mutt, the princess, and the Emperor.
Tales of Vesperia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,428 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/26/2011 - Rita M., Ioder
Anna's Ashes reviews
How Anna and Kratos could have been in our time and still turned out the same. Lloyd and others featured. Will involve school. Anna lost her parents when she was eight to a drunk driver, Kratos's father. Can you forgive someone for what they didn't do?
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,637 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Anna A., Kratos A.
Midnight Escapades reviews
AU. If Genis and Raine did not find a home in Iselia. Chased by Desians, bringing along both Lloyd and Colette, Raine is in over her head. She hasn't let that stop her yet. Of course, she didn't quite count on Yuan and Kratos, much less Forcystus.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,978 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 9/3/2009 - Raine S., Genis S.
Linar's Quest reviews
Asgard wants Raine back for the ceremony's anniversary, and Linar's been called to get her. Too bad Aisha left first. Too bad Genis has run off at Mithos's request. Too bad Pronyma, Forcystus, and Kvar are back. Too bad the new world's not so peaceful.
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,642 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Genis S., Seles W.
The Great and Bloody Siege of Namco reviews
Inexplicably, the ToS cast have discovered ToS 2. They aren't happy. They're murdering those responsible. But who planted the dreadful seed? Find out what REALLY happened to the sequel you all wanted. Pairings optional but implied. FIRE BALLS!
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,010 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 9/2/2009 - Published: 5/27/2009 - Lloyd I., Mithos Y.
Angelwings reviews
Anna's Exsphere, actually useful for once, grew her wings to save her from the cliff. Now Kratos is missing, thinks she's dead, and she's going after him. Lloyd is safe with Dirk. Kratos is joining the Renegades. And who knows about Tethe'alla? AU.Kranna
Tales of Symphonia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,119 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/31/2009 - Anna A., Lloyd I.
A Space So Wide Both Near and Mello Can Fit In It reviews
Mello, Matt, and Near run away, Near less willingly, only to be caught by one star detective Yagami Raito. L comes to collect them and the fun begins with an unexpected murderer. NearxMello. MattxMello. MattxNear. LxRaito. Murders, shonen-ai. AU Spoilers.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,261 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Near, Mello
ANOTHER VERY SECRET PLACE TO ARGUE reviews
The very secret online diaries of the Marauder-era. James will never be allowed to forget the INCIDENT. Lily may never find out what it was. Sirius is actually attempting to preserve his virginity. We learn the woes of Snape's complexion. L/J. Mild themes
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 14,004 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 4/24/2009 - James P., Lily Evans P.
We Wish You a Wammy Christmas reviews
Raito is the assistant manager of Wammy's, and is faced with the daunting task of handling the Christmas rush trainees. LxRaito. BxA. Foul language on the part of Mello, Raito's thoughts and possibly Matt. MelloxNear. Possible MattxMello. Shonen-ai CRACK!
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,073 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Light Y., L
The Sugarfilled Wars reviews
LxLight crack. shonen-ai. No yaoi. Possible innuendos. Perhaps an eventual plot. Will, of course, guest-star M, M&N in later chapters!
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 20,025 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/4/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - L, Light Y.
Ramblings of a Twilighter reviews
My random thoughts on Twilight...parodies on things that always annoyed me...y'know, the usual. If it always annoyed you how Bella supposedly has undying devotion to edward but still wants Jacob...you've come to the right place.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,158 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/28/2008 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Bella, Edward
Intertwilight: The Wonders of a Blog for Forks reviews
Well, y'know... so many blog stories out there, I thought i'd add my own. Meandering through the plot of twilight with a bit of fun of my own added in... R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,531 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/18/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Bella
The Cullen Chronicles: Alice's Story reviews
The Cullen's lives before they met Bella ... dating back to before they were changed. Alice's story. Rated T just to be safe. Alice a bit OOC in earlier chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,528 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/14/2008 - Published: 4/21/2008
Sisters of Heart reviews
What next book would be like if it existed ... The next set of kings, the truce coming to an end, and unlikely friendship and two kings looking for brides ... Rated T just to be safe.
Clare B. Dunkle - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,022 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/22/2008 - Published: 4/20/2008