Randy Taylor
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Joined 04-20-08, id: 1556380, Profile Updated: 08-01-10
Author has written 13 stories for Home Improvement.

My real name is Nathan. I currently live in Illinois, although I'm originally from Missouri (and wish I still lived there). I've been watching Home Improvement since it's second season in 1992.

Before we get to the details, a little bit about my stories and the characters:

Randy's Thoughts:

Characters: So far there are no important original characters in Randy's Thoughts.

Summary: This was actually my second attempt at writing fan fiction for Home Improvement. (Or anything else for that matter). The first attempt sucks so bad it will never see the light of day. This is the first fic I ever published on this site, and is one of my favorites. I hope to write at least 100 chapters for this one.

Nine Months of Hell:


Jonathan T. Weiss, PI: This is one of many incarnations of Jonathan Taylor Thomas in my stories. Hey, the guy is my favorite actor. Anyways, Jonathan is kind of based off the kind of guy that almost everybody wants to be, but hardly anyone is. He is also related to...well, I don't want to ruin the story for anyone who hasn't read it yet. If you want to know, go read and review.

Summary: This is without a doubt my most successful story. However, it almost didn't happen. I originally wrote it to be about Heidi rather than Lauren. Thanks to some very much needed advice from Baxxie, I changed the story around. Even after that, I wasn't sure I would continue with the story or not, but I'm glad I did.

True Love:

Summary: This is something I wrote and posted simply because I needed to get it out of my system. May I remind everyone once again here; please no flaming!!

Meet Me in St. Louie:


Schocke: Here's the way I'd describe Schocke: He's a Hell's Angels wannabe that is a true Hippie to the very end.

Hazel: She is Schocke's wife, and pretty much matches Schocke's description.

Mike: Mike is based off of former St. Louis Cardinals player, and one of their current broadcasters, Mike Shannon. He's a real generous guy who who helps Randy and Tim out in a pinch.

Summary: This story is really about how extraordinary things can happen to an ordinary person. It's sort of the kind of adventure that I would want to have. It also kind of has a little bit of a family flavor to it.

The Ruins of Our Lives:


Jonathan Taylor Thomas: Hmm...I wonder who this possibly could be...beats the hell out of me.

Willie: One of Wilson's friends who cares for Mark.

Summary: All I'm going to say here is that this story is about family and never giving up hope on being able to be a happy family again, no matter what happens. It's kind of interesting though, because one day, the title of this story just came to me, and I thought it would be a cool title, so I sat down and came up with the idea.

In Life and Death:

Summary: This is all about Tim and Jill's love for each other and their love for the boys and the boys' love for them. It's just one big love fest. It kind of came to me one day when I started thinking about what it would be like at Jill's funeral. I honestly never intended for it to turn into a huge bloody massacre where everybody kills themselves.



Steve: Steve is Randy and Lauren's boss at The Detroit Free Press.

Jonathan Weiss, M.D.: Just another incarnation of Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Hey, the dude's charismatic.

Summary: This story actually came about in a strange way. I was looking at some old prologues of stories that I decided weren't good enough and I came across the original first chapter to The Ruins of Our Lives. I then decided to make some changes (make it Randy in the car crash rather than Tim), and posted it as Crash.

Burned Bridges:


Pat: Pat is Randy's boyfriend in BB. So far, Pat has only made one appearance, but he make more before the story is over.

Zoran: Used to be known by her real name, Shelly Meldrick. She is Randy's arch rival gang boss who wants nothing more than to kill him.

Summary: The idea for this fic just came to me one day. I just saw the opening scenes of the first chapter, then sat down and wrote the first chapter accordingly.



God: I don't know if God can really qualify here as an original character, but I'm going to count Him as one anyways.

Summary: I just wanted to do something kind of weird, and something involving Wilson one day, so I combined the two. If you've read this, or do read this, please review!!

The Watcher:


Anders: Anders is based on a cat of mine that I had to have put to sleep in August of '08. Here is a picture of how I envision Anders:

Summary: I missed my cat so much, I decided to write a story with her as the main character (although I changed her sex), and for her. It's also my first shot at this kind of story. I classified it as Supernatural/Horror, which is a first for me.

It's Magic:


Jonathan Weiss Taylor: Jonathan Taylor Thomas just can't stay out of my stories, can he? Here he is playing the role of Randy's son. (Is that legal in Michigan??)

Summary: Randy's son, Jonathan, has a Meet Me in St. Louie-esque adventure, but with some differences. The title will make sense once the story is complete.


Summary: This is my attempt at parodying third rate, low quality Home Improvement fan fics that I have seen over the years. It won't be updated regularly, just when I decide to. It'll remain categorized as complete, because I'll never really know when the last chapter comes.

Lightning in a Bottle

Characters: None yet.

Summary: What happens after the cameras quit rolling for the final time on the Home Improvement set.

There is one more story I'm working on right now, but I won't reveal the title until it's posted. All I'll say is, it is a sequel to one of my original four stories. It too will most likely be up before the summer is over.

NOTE: I'm now also on Fiction Press, Fan Fiction's sister site. I have yet to publish anything, however I have a couple ideas for stories.

Some things/people I like:

Male actor: Jonathan Taylor Thomas

Female actor: Jill Hennessy

Other actors I like: Tim Allen, George Clooney, Jenna Elfman, Mariska Hargitay, Earl Hindman, Laura Innes, Julianna Margulies, Patricia Richardson, Linus Roache, Christian Slater, Sherry Stringfield, Maura Tierney, Goran Visnjic, Sam Waterston, and Noah Wyle

TV Shows:

Crossing Jordan, The Drew Carey Show, Dharma and Greg, ER (my number 2), Ghost Whisperer, Home Improvement (my number 1) , Law and Order, Law and Order CI, Law and Order SVU, and Medium

Books: Anything by Dave Barry, Terry Brooks, Jeffery Deaver Carole Nelson Douglas, John Grisham, Stephen King, or Ridley Pearson

Music: Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band, Dave Matthews Band, Hootie and the Blowfish, John Hiatt, and Sheryl Crow. (Just to name a few).

Hobbies: Reading, watching TV, and listening to music.

My favorite quotes:

It's the edging that fucks me up. -Tim Allen

There is nothing useless about a pair of Ubanian nose flutes. -Jonathan Taylor Thomas

I have a sister. My sister's name is Jane. This is The Song That Jane Likes. - Dave Matthews

Bite me!- My sister.

Youneverknow- Former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Joaquin Andujar

If it makes you happy, then it can't be that bad- Sheryl Crow in the song "If It Makes You Happy"

Aww pickle!- My 8th grade history teacher

If I had it all, I'd fuck it up- Dave Matthews Band in the song "If I Had It All"

It's always easier to leave than be left- Dave Matthews when announcing the death of long time DMB saxophonist LeRoi Moore.

Favorite Drink: Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi

127 Ways To Know You're A 90's Kid!

You know you're a 90's kid when...

1. You can remember saying, "Talk to the hand!"

2. Your best comeback was, "I know you are, but what am I?"

3. If you ever injured yourself on a Slip N Slide

4. Your favorite show was Full House

5. You can finish this song... "In West Philidelphia, born and raised..."

6. You've ever finished a sentence with Psyche!

7. You can remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons

8. You remember when Kurt Cobain, 2Pac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

9. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

10. You begged for some GAK, and when you got that they came out with scented GAK, and when you got that they came out with funny scented GAK...

11. You remember reading "Goosebumps"

12. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

13. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

14. You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time"...with a tape recorder held up to the radio loL!!

15. Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show.

16. Captain Planet.

17. You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green Ranger were meant to be together. (this was meant for young 80s children)

18. When playing power rangers with friends you fought over who got to be who...and still all ended up being Tommy.

19. You remember when super nintendo's became popular.

20. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny.

21. You remember watching home alone 1, 2 , and 3...and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

22. "I've fallen and I can't get up"

23. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

24. Two words... Trapper Keeper.

25. "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack, all dressed in black, black, black, with silver buttons, buttons, buttons, all down her back, back, back" SHE ASKED HER MOTHER MOTHER MOTHER FOR FIFTY CENTS CENTS CENTS TO SEE THE ELEPHANTS PHANTS PHANTS JUMP OVER THE FENCE THE FENCE THE FENCE
he jumped so high high high he touched the sky sky sky and he didnt come back back back til the forth of july ly ly he jumped so low ow ow he stubbed his toe toe toe and thats the end end end of the elephants show show show

26. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

27. Writing M.A.S.H. notes.

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

28. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"

29. You played and/or collected "Pogs"

30. You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet or Nano and brought it everywhere

31. You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

32. Yikes pencils and erasers were the stuff!

33. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.(pencils.notebooks.binders.etc.)

34. You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out.

35. You used to wear those stick on earings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

36. You remember a time before the WB.

37. You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

38. You know the Macarena by heart.

39. "Talk to the hand" ... enough said

40. You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

41. If you played Nintendo 64.

42. used MSN Messenger 2.0

43. If you heard Cindy Crawford sang (in a commercial)... then acted in a movie.

44. If you know "Ice Ice baby" and "Can't touch this".

45. Jean Cluad Van Damn was doing a lot of movies where he played his own twin.

46. Steven Segal was slim and actually have a career.

47. Jennifer Lopez was a dancer for Janet Jackson.

48. If you thought there was no way Michael Jackson could get any weirder!

49. You've seen both fights between the iron Mike Tyson V.S The real deal Holyfield. And the ear bitting.

50. Wear your pants backward.

51. A lot of monkey in Pepsi commercial.

52. MTV single out?

53. Justin Timberlake wanted to be Nick Carter.

54. If you was listening to the O.J verdict.

55. Will Farrell was in Old school.

56. Adam Sander (not famous) was dating Shannon Dorthy (famous).

57. Michale Jordan was playing baseball. Then spacejam.

58. Beverly Hill 90210 and Kelly the hot blonde.

59. Christian Slater.

60. Bill Pullman got dump in every movie. Making a career out of that.

61. Pauly Shore, the weasel. Has anyone seen Biodome? I am sorry to hear that.

62. Has Kramer's t-shirt.

63. Know the lyric "I'll be there for you" from the series "Friends".

64. Ace Venture and who was that blonde chic in "The Mask"? Cameron who? Diaz? Cameron Diaz? Never heard of.

65. You knew that Backstreet Boys started the boy band craze!

66. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off"

67. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.

68. the pharse "finder keepers, losers weepers"

69. You remember when everyone went slinky crazy.

70. You remember when razor scooters were cool.

71. bill-nye the science guy.


73. gumby

74. lamb chop

75. original barney

76. When Toys R Us overuled the mall.

77. act like you didn't watch afro-king BOB ROSS paint trees on T.V.


79. when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

80. when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

81. when we used to obey our parents

82. when everyhting was settled by: rock paper scissors, bubble gum bubble gum in a dish, ordaddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

83. You remember watching: The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.

84. You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

85. You remember those Where's Waldo books.

86. You remember eating Warheads.

87. You remember watching: the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and3 Ninjas movies.

88. You remember Ring Pops.

89. You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

90. Oh, oh, oh! and JOSTA!!

91. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

92. When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

93. Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

94. You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

95. And Windows 95 was the best.

96. You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

97. Michael Jordan was a king.

98. Lambchop's song never ended.

99. The old dollar bills.

100. Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

101. You remember a time before the WB.

102. You collected all the Troll dolls

103. If you even know what an original walkman is.

104. You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

105. You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

106. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

107. You've worn shorts and felt stylish

108. You wanted to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

109. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

110. You sang I Just Can't Wait To Be King and Hakuna Matata in kindergarten

111. You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac and Vicki the Robot from "MY Little Wonder"

112. You used to pretend to be a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger and you owned a Skip It.

113. You thought it would be so cool to be Alex Mack.

114. You thought Brain woud finally take over the world

115. 2 words ... SPICE GIRLS

116. You can remember dance tunes such as "Mr. Vain"...

117. You remember watching Live and Kicking

118. You read "Shout," "Miss" and occassionally "J17!"

119. You remember that Polaroid cameras = instant pictures.

120. You remember falling asleep early at parties.

121. You would always want to play outside with your friends who lived in your neighborhood .. outside.

122. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"

123. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.

124. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.

125. You owned Pokemon cards but you didn’t play.

126. "Miss Susie had a steam boat, the steam boat had a bell..miss suzie went to heaven the steamboat went to hell_o operator please give me number 9 and if you disnconnect me i'll kick you from behind the fridgerator, there was a piece of glass, miss suzie sat upon it and broke her little ass_k me no more questions, please tell me no more lies the boys are in the bathroom zipping up their flies, are in the cornfield the bees are in their hives ... miss suzie and her boyfriend are kissing in the D-A-R-K- D-A-R-K D-A-R-K dark dark dar dar da dark"

127. Who LOVES orange soda?? Keeeeeeel loves orange soda! Is it truuuuuuuue? Mhm hmm... I do I do I doooooooo...

When we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy...

Before the Internet & text messaging...

Before Sidekicks & iPods...

Before MIKE JONES...

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...

Before Spongebob . . .

...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

Man, you didn’t even have homework.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid 3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off our walkmans.

When 2Pac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

When checking out drawing books and that one book about the rainbow fish from the library was THE cool thing to do.

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!

Wait Wait...let's not forget OLD NICK shows...Alex Mac, Salute Your Shorts, My Brother and Me, Rocko's Modern Life, the ORIGINAL Rugrats, DOUG!! Cousin Skeeter, Hey Arnold, Clarissa Explains it All, The OLD All That, Pete and Pete yeah the OLD nick days rules

Home Improvement is a show that aired throughout the nineties on ABC, and remains a product of the Disney Channel. Now, ten years after its end, the category remains small. In 2005, the count for stories was in the sixties. Almost four years later, it doubled. Only doubled. But my goal isn't to improve the count. My goal is to improve the life. It's best in the summer. I have seen, when wrting stories, even for Home Improvement, the review count is high. This means there ARE fans out there. There ARE readers who will read your stories in that category. If there are readers, there must be writers. These readers can become writers. These writers can start with Home Improvement, and revive the category. Right now, there are a precious few writers who remain part of the Home Improvement category, and still submit new stories for it. There are so many others, and I am asking for those who knew the show, who still know the show, and who write, to help revive the category.

If you agree with this statement, cope and paste the underlined part into your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

Ninety-five percent of kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of that five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara- Minamino, Yabie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, Browned-angelofmusic, Piratesswriter/ fairy to be, The Gypsy- PirateQueen, Caffy91, Lady of the Serpents, taynzpink, JayJay3493, Randy Taylor

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this into your profile

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Cppy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you've ever fallen going UP the stairs, put this in your profile.

If you act like a moron and don't care who sees you, post this in your profile.

92 percent of teens have moved onto rap. If you are part of the 8 that still listen to real music, copy and paste this into your profile.

I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect. If you agree, copy this into your profile, and add your name to the list: Randy Taylor

Fancy a challenge? Try this: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours a day reading, writing, or a combination of both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you think someone in your family maybe homaphobic, copy this to yor profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

7 Things I Hate About Everyone
#1: People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
#2. People who are willing to get off their @ss to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
#3. When people say, "It's always in the last place you look". Of course
it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
#4. When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?". No , I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.
#5. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
#6. When people say, "Life is short". What the hell? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer?
#7. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came, would I be standing here?

Actual Consumer Labels:
- Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (What? But I do that all the time!)
- Bag of candy: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
- Bar of soap: Use like regular soap. (But how do you use regular soap?)
- Dessert (bottom of box): Do not turn upside down. (Too late.)
- Chainsaw: Warning - Do not attempt to stop chainsaw with hands. (Dammit!)
- Keyboard: Warning - To reduce possibilities of fatal injuries, please read instructions manual.
- Children's Cough Medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery after consuming. (Because 10-year-olds can totally drive.)
- Child's Superman Costume: Warning - Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
- American Airlines Packet of Peanuts: Instructions - Open bag, eat nuts. (Warning: May contain nuts.) (No, really?)
- Swimming Pool: Please refrain from shaving when using the whirlpool or sauna.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy and paste this on your profile. (This isn't normal??)

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you are insane and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think air is a solid because you continously trip over it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who needs to get run over, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Randy Taylor

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a conversation with someone else in your head, then suddenly started talking to them out loud, copy and paste this into your profile

If, during a quiet moment, you suddenly remember something funny and randomly bust out laughing, copy and paste this into your profile.

Some people are like slinkies, good for nothing, but they make you smile when you push them down a flight or stairs.

I did not hit you, I just high-fived your face.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die, and your mom say you can still keep it.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

BOLD ones are me

I'm into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual

I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude

I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control

I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer

I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish

I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass

I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian

I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant

I'm FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual

I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict

I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian

I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie

I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs

I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life

I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up

I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch

I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention

I'm an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean (That's insulting! Me and most of my friends are actors/actresses!)

I'm THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder (Nope, just an unnaturally high metabolism.)

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz

I HAVE A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be dating them all (If I dated one of them... oh, that's a scary thought. Their girlfriends are scary.)

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math

I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare

I'm PUNK, so I MUST slit my wrists

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm IRISH, so I MUST be an alcoholic

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend

I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy

I LOVE RENT, so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head (What's wrong with hearing voices in my head?)

I'm AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports (If it involves a ball being in the air I do. But that's not really the point, now is it?)

I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time

I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi

I'm IN BAND, so I MUST be a geek


I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life (I wish...)

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention

I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too


I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd

I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life

I get BAD GRADES, so I MUST be a slacker who doesn't try (I try, I just have issues concentrating when I have a radio, a computer, and a T.V. nearby.)

I READ SLASH/INCEST, so I MUST have sex with my family.

I like to be ALONE, so I MUST have no friends.

I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST love the Disney Channel.

I LOVE THE JONAS BROTHERS, so I MUST love Hannah Montana (She's okay, I guess, but I don't really like her that much. Especially not the show.)

I'm a JEW, so I MUST hate all Germans

I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet (I think only one of my teachers even knows my name...)

I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress (I am, but still...)

I WEAR GLASSES, so I MUST be a geek (People think I'm a geek a lot...)
I like cartoons, so I MUST be immature.

I'm emo so I must cut myself
I like to talk, so I MUST be a gossip.
I don't fight back, so I MUST be pathetic.
I wear black, so I MUST be goth.
I'm intelligent, so I MUST be weak.
I got a lower grade, so I MUST be dumb.
I'm blonde, so I MUST be a ditz.
I don't want a boyfriend/girlfriend, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a dancer, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm strong, so I MUST be stupid.
I raise my hand, so I MUST be a teacher's pet.
I dye my hair, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a Christian, so I MUST convert you.
I'm atheist, so I MUST hate other religions.
I have a speech problem, so I MUST be retarded.
I'm American, so I MUST be obese.
I'm a cheer-leader, so I MUST be conceited.
I play an instrument, so I MUST be a band geek.
I'm white, so I MUST be selfish.
I'm black, so I MUST be violent.
I care about the environment, so I MUST be a hippie.
I'm disabled, so I MUST be looking for pity.
I don't like a specific black person, so I MUST be racist.
I like rap/hip hop, so I MUST be ghetto.
I live in a smaller house, so I MUST be poor.
I lose and forget things, so I MUST be irresponsible.
I'm bad at making friends, so I MUST be an outcast.
I have no job, so I MUST be a drop-out.
I'm sick of the world, so I MUST be suicidal.
I don't like crowds, so I MUST be anti-social.
I like online gaming, so I MUST be a geek.
I'm a tomboy, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm emotional, so I MUST be a baby.
I get angry, so I MUST be abusive.
I’m Mexican, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I have lots of friends, so I MUST be a prep.
I'm fat, so I MUST have an eating problem.
I'm skinny, so I MUST have an eating disorder.
I have no interest in math, so I MUST be an idiot.
I like school, so I MUST be a nerd.
I don't cry, so I MUST not have feelings.
I'm different, so I MUST not be allowed to fit in.
I'm a person, so I MUST be LABELED.

Add your own and copy this on your profile if you are SICK OF THIS CRAP.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:30 (That's late for me, I'm usually up at 7:00).

2. Diamonds or Pearls? Don't care.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Christmas With the Kranks

4. What is your favorite TV show? Home Improvement and ER

5. What did you have for breakfast? Pancakes

6. What is your middle name? It starts with an "F" and ends with a "U"

7. What is your favorite cuisine? ??

8. What foods do you dislike? Mushrooms, brusselsprouts, and those little frozen baked potato things.

9. Your favorite potato chip? Sour Cream and Onion Pringles.

10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Bob Seger's Greatest Hits

11. What kind of car do you drive? A blue 1995 Dodge Neon. (When the alternator is working).

12. Favorite sandwich? Turkey salad.

14. What are your favorite clothes? Whatever looks cool.

15. If you could go anywhere on vacation where would you go? California

16. What color is your bathroom? Sapphire blue.

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Whatever looks cool.

18. Where were you born? Mexico, Missouri

19. Favorite time of the day? 9:00 PM US Central Time.

20. Where would you want to retire to? Missouri

21. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball.

22. Who do you least expect to send this back? A total stranger.

23. Person you expect to send it back first? Nobody.

24. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi all the way! (Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi, specifically).

25. Are you a morning person or night owl? Both. God gave a day 24 hours, and I believe that they're all equally good.

26. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? I'm out of my mind, but I've known that for about sixteen years.

27. What did you want to be when you were little? No clue.

28. What is your best childhood memory? Any time I got to spend with my grandparents.

29. What are the different jobs you have had? None

30. Nicknames? None unless you count my pen name.

31. Piercing? Not until hell freezes over.

32. Eye Color? Brown

33. Ever been to Africa? No.

34. Ever been toilet papering? What the hell is toilet papering?

35. Favorite day of the week? Thursday (The night that ER airs).

36. Favorite restaurant? Ryan's

37. Favorite ice cream? Coffee

38. Favorite fast food restaurant? Wendys

39. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None. Zero. Zilch. El Zippo. (Yes, I passed the first time, even though it was pouring rain).

40. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? I don’t know THIS ISN’T AN EMAIL!

41. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Either a pet store or a book store.

42. Bedtime? Depends, but usually around 10:00 or 10:30.

44. Last person you went to dinner with? My relatives.

45. What are you listening to right now? Dave Matthews Band

46. What is your favorite color? Blue

47. How many tattoos do you have? None

48. What is your religion if you have one? Christian (Specifically Baptist, though I don't agree with some of their views)

50. What is you GPA: No clue

--Do You--

Have any siblings: 1 (An older sister)

Have any pets: 3 cats

Have a job: No.

Have a cellphone: yes

Have any special talents or skills: I play the clarinet.

Have any fears: Heights, mirrors, snakes, and my future.

Have a bedtime: No

Sing in the shower: Sometimes

Want to go to college: Yes.

Get along with your parents: With my mom.

Have any piercings: No

Have any tattoos: No

Swear: Yes

Smoke: No

Drink: No.

Do Drugs: No

--Love & All That Crap--

Ever been in love: yes
Ever cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend: no

Are you single: Yes.
Are you in a relationship: No
Do you have a crush on someone: Yes
Ever been dumped: No
Ever dumped someone: no

--This or That--

Fruit or Vegetable: fruit
Black or White: Since MJ has passed, I guess I have to actually give an answer here now. In that case, black.
Lights On or Lights Off: off
TV or Movie: TV
Car or Truck: Car
Cash or Check: Cash
Rock or Rap: Rock
Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla
French Toast or French Fries: french fries
Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries
Cookies or Muffins: Muffins
Winter Break or Spring Break: Spring Break
Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

--Have You Ever--

Danced in a public place: Yes
Smiled for no reason: Yes
Laughed so hard you cried: Yes
Talked to someone you don't know: Yes
Drank alcohol: Yes
Done drugs: No
Partied 'til the sun came up: Yes
Gotten a ticket: Almost
Been arrested: No
Been convicted of a crime: No
Been in a wreck: Yes
Been out of the country: No

--Random & Silly Junk--

Are you a virgin: Yes
Ever TP'd someone's house: No
Ever egged someone's house: No
How many languages do you speak: 2 English and a little bit of German
Who do you compare yourself to: No one. I am my own person.
Ever regret anything: Sometimes
Do you like being tickled: Sometimes.
What are your goals: Finish this survey.
Are your fingers tired: No
Are you tired of this survey: A little bit
Are you happy:I am happy for no reason

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

If you are approve of Gay-Marriages put this on your profile and add your name to the list: Gaara's-pandachan101, CosenAngel, Kiki-Sabakuno, My.Dark.Tears, XxGothic Panda NinjaxX, Zovesta, Majora999, Randy Taylor

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Life, Discord And Intrigue by InsaneWriter reviews
"There's no easy way to say this,"she began."I might be pregnant, Randy."He just stared at her for a moment in complete shock. Randy/OC
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,245 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/25/2012 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Randy T.
The Taylor Lords by NicosWriting 87 reviews
When the goddess Gaia appears to the Taylor lads and explains their true destinies could determine the fate of the world. I got this idea a while back and finally decided to write it up I'll only continue if I get a review. Rated T just to be safe
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,838 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 5/24/2012 - Randy T., Mark T.
The Trouble In My Head by Baxxie reviews
The Taylor family has been through some tough times, since Randy lost his sight. When finally something good happens, will it last? Or is it a sign for something worse to come? Read and find out!
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 21 - Words: 22,075 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 4/27/2008
Lauren's Discovery by Ghostwriter reviews
Lauren finds out something about Randy.
Home Improvement - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,401 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/13/2010 - Complete
More Power by RadonStars reviews
Set after "The Longest Day." What if the phone call had held a positive diagnosis? Oneshot.
Home Improvement - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,128 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/17/2010 - Randy T.
Here Comes Chaos! by ViolinElectrician reviews
Aimirgin is an Irish-Spanish almost emancipated minor with trust issues and anger management problems. She has an unknown brother, long estranged from her, as she was adopted, and she's moving in with the Taylors.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,786 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/15/2010 - Published: 1/3/2010 - Randy T.
The Worst Year by Colin Creevey reviews
Ther're some things you can’t stop. Some things that just happen out of all control. If I had just watched from the sidelines, instead of getting directly involved, things might have turned out different. But how could I? He was my brother." Mark's POV
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 14,519 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Mark T., Randy T. - Complete
The Kidnap by Colin Creevey reviews
When a Taylor boy is kidnapped, it changes everyone's lives. Parents are restless, neighbours are wary and worried, and the cops are lazy. However, one brother decides to take matters into his own hands? Can he find his brother, and make it home alive?
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 30 - Words: 34,798 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Complete
The Best Girl by KissMeCate reviews
Jessica James and her family have lived next-door to the Taylor’s for almost her entire life. She and Randy Taylor have been best friends since they were three-years-old, but is there a point when the two realize they should be more than friends? Randy/OC
Home Improvement - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 29,283 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Randy T. - Complete
The Start Of Something New by Baxxie reviews
This story takes place after my Costa Rica story. Please read that one first if you haven't already or you'll get confused : Summary is inside. Please Read and Review! I appreciate it, thank you so much! Love, Baxxie
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 24,267 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/7/2009 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Complete
I Will Never Leave by waikiki23 reviews
One-shot based on the episode "Where There's a Will, There's a Way." Please R&R. Complete!
Home Improvement - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 619 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Complete
Lizzie Lynn by xXxThe Phantom's RosexXx reviews
In this following story, you’ll learn the truth about the Taylor family and what it is like to be the only girl. I’m Lizzie Lynn Taylor and this is my story – the true story.
Home Improvement - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,835 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 12/27/2008
Home Improvement Christmas by Colin Creevey reviews
A series of Christmas happenings bought to you by the characters of Home Improvement. Updated once every year, on the joyous time of year. Better than last year.
Home Improvement - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,043 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 12/25/2006
Home Improvement Halloween by Colin Creevey reviews
Halloween Special Updated once every year. Offscreen happenings from Season 2. The Taylor household is going through its annual Halloween warfare. Not exactly horror as it's supposed to be, but it's Halloween! Enjoy.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,447 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 10/30/2006
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Watcher reviews
An abandoned kitten shows up in the Taylor family's yard. But soon after the kitten comes to live with them, some really strange things start happening. Please R&R!
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 16 - Words: 20,503 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 11/9/2008
Lightning in a Bottle reviews
This takes place literally right after the series finale of Home Improvement. That's all I'm going to say. You'll have to read and review to find out the rest. Rated T, like all my stories, just to be safe, because I don't yet know what might happen.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,695 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/1/2010 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Tim T., Jill T.
Randy's Thoughts reviews
Summary inside.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 44 - Words: 34,488 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 4/22/2008
It's Magic reviews
This is the sequel to Meet Me in St. Louie. If you haven't read that, read it before you read this. Anyways, Randy's son goes on a school trip now and has some Meet Me in St. Louie-esque experiences of his own. Rated T just to be on the safe side.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,545 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/9/2009 - Published: 1/2/2009
Burned Bridges reviews
In the year 2006, one of the Taylors tries to piece their life back together with the help of the Taylor family. This one will be dark, twisted, and demented because that's the mood I'm in right now. Please read and review! Rated T mainly for adult themes
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 19,151 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 7/4/2008 - Randy T. - Complete
Crash reviews
In the year 2006, everything seems to be going right for Randy. Then something bad happens to him. Will he survive? If so, how will he manage to piece his life back together? Forget what I said before about this fic not being dramatic as some of my others
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 29,002 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/4/2009 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Random chapters that parody low quality, third rate HI fan fics. Read at your own risk! Please R&R, and bear in mind, this IS parody, so like it says in the story, it's all meant to be crappy. Rated T just to be safe.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 527 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Complete
The Ruins of Our Lives reviews
This story takes place in October of 1996. Tim is in an accident at Tool Time, and then a whole bunch of bad things happen. Different Chapter 3 up. It has more thoughts to it.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 31,867 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Complete
Nine Months of Hell reviews
Someone the Taylors are associated with is pregnant. And it isn't Al. But, one of the Taylors has something to do with this pregnancy. A/N: I rewrote this. It is no longer about Heidi, but about Lauren. So, if you've already read it, please read it again
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 38,721 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 4/24/2008 - Complete
Meet Me in St Louie reviews
Randy goes on a school trip to Missouri, but something bad happens along the way. Will Randy ever see his family or his home state of Michigan again?
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 18,499 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Complete
God reviews
Wilson and Katharine are kidnapped. Katharine is killed, and Wilson is challenged to a risky game after the warehouse they're in is set on fire. Watch out for some death and religious talk . Rated T for the religious references. Please R&R!
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,099 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Complete
In Life and Death reviews
In the year 2010, Jill dies. This takes place at her funeral, where Tim delivers the eulogy. If I get enough positive response, and enough reviews, I might do a follow up chapter. For now, it is complete though. Please do read and review.
Home Improvement - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/25/2008 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Complete
True Love reviews
It's wrong, and she knows it. But she can't help her self. This is a oneshot. If you are easily offended, please don't read this. If you do read this, please review, the suspense is killing me. I want to know what people think of this story. Thanks.
Home Improvement - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 339 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Complete
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