Gratia Donatus
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Joined 04-20-08, id: 1556776, Profile Updated: 02-26-10
Author has written 7 stories for Inkheart, Inheritance Cycle, Bible, Alex Rider, Twilight, and Harry Potter.

Pen Name has changed, formily Kale Ride, my new pen name which roughly translated means "I have been given grace" in Latin.

Hey All,

Gratia Donatus here, I'm back with new ideas and an old passion for the written word. I've seen that as long as this doesn't take over my life it's fine i'll update soon!

I love writing and reading, in my opinion a good story is clost to immortal. I don't know why some stories have survived this long as i can find no redeeming qualities in them whatsoever, but ya know. In my opinion, there's nothing better than a Noble outlaw story.(If you don't know what i mean think Robin Hood, Legend of the seeker, the last Harry Potter book, Sojourn, Renegade spirit series) Where the tyrant leader of the day has one great threat and that person is being hunted but still continues on with their quest while finding hel in those who see the leaders tyranny. Is it incredibly cliche? yeah probably. But i don't care cause the story never gets old.

BTW if you haven't heard of some of the books/tv shows/comics mentioned above, i urge you to! they are epic.

About Me:

Age: well i am older than ten and younger than fifty, which is to say non of your buisness.

Name: I'm not that stupid! ;)

Gender: Female

Hobbies: reading, writing, daydreaming, swimming and wierding people out(it's so easy for me)

Favorite books: Alex Rider, Power of Five, Fire of Heavan Trilogy, Eli, Harry Potter, Mark of the Lion Trilogy, Eragon(not the sequels), Inheart trilogy, Dragonrider, Chronicles of Narnia, Maximum Ride(only the first three), Precy Jackson and the Olympians, and Kingdom sierries.
(Phew that was alot and no Twilight doesn't make the list...by far)

Favorite movies: Lord of the Rings, August Rush, Pirates of the Caribbean, Aladdin, Startreck and Bedtime Stories.

Favorite TV shows: Heroes, Dollhouse, Legend of the Seeker and BBC Robin Hood.

Favorite bands/music: Skillet, Steven Curtis Chapman, Mark Shultz, Micheal Card and Scott Kripean(i can't spell his last name)

Favorite quotes:

"whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried to slam a revolving door" unknown

"I'll have a grande latte."
"and i'll have a large black coffee."
"You mean Venti."
"no i mean large."
"He means Venti"
"Venti is large."
"No...Tall is large, Grande is spanish for large, Venti is twenty. it's also the only one that's italian. congradulations you're stupid in three langauges." role models

"My teachers a vampire and my partner is coming in for our project dressed as a Gecco...am i sur i woke up this morning?" Me on the oddity of Statistics

"You are 90 blind and 10 blonde!" My brother on my friends driving skills

"We talk about outselves in third person with awful british accents."
"We're just awsome like that." Me and Jou Veres on our own "awsomeness"

"History doesn't repeat itself but it rhymes." Mark Twain

"sir i think you have a problem with your brain being missing." Zoe, firefly

"heck this job i would pull for free!"
"Then can i have your share?"
"No."
"If you die can i have your share?"
"yes." mal and zoe, firefly

"yeah we all wish things. if wishes were horses we'd all be eating steak!" Jayne firefly

This is the captain speaking due to a slight mechanical problem we will experience some slight turbulence and then explode." Mal Serenity

in a very serious scene Anara is sitting in front of a budah statue with a grave expreassion, Mal comes up behind her and says this. "Dear buddah please bring me a pony and a plastic rocket ship." Serenity

"Cheif we've never met your wife."
"You think i want to bring her to our events."
"No but he'll bring his girlfriend."
"You're mom don't count Cheif!"
"No but yours does." Cheif me and a friend on cheif's love life( he has a mistress...and a girlfriend...and a lover...and a wife)

"You racist girl!"
"Yes I am. Now shutup and get back in line"
"8-O" Me getting fed up with being accused of being racist.

"I feel the urge to propell wooden sticks into a foam block with colored rings. Just because..." Jou Veres on Archery

"I am glad to have met you and hope to see you again."
"As do we brother."(Archer dramtically rides off into the sunset.)
"...he just stole my horse." Robun Guy and Archer, BBC Robin Hood

"Joey did a great job! and sooner or later hes going to learn to control that temper!"
"...Probably later." Yugi and Yami commenting on Joey's loss to Zigfried(sp), Yu-Gi-Oh

"You've gotta face the clouds to find the silver lineing." Unknown

Favorite frazes!

-epic

-your face

-You are ugly and your mother dresses you funny

-go sit in a corner and suck your thumb

-crap on a cracker! (I have no idea where this came from i just find it amusing)

-I can't take you anywhere

-really...

-Woman i wil beat you

-I'M NOT A LUMBERJACK!!

TXT TALK 10 COMMANDMENTS!

1. no1 b4 me. srsly.
2. dnt wrshp pix/idols
3. no omg’s
4. no wrk on w/end (sat 4 now; sun l8r)
5. pos ok – ur m&d r cool
6. dnt kill ppl
7. :-X only w/ m8
8. dnt steal
9. dnt lie re: bf
10. dnt ogle ur bf’s m8. or ox. or dnkey. myob.

M, pls rite on tabs & giv 2 ppl.
ttyl, YHWH.

Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-ful"

25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

30) I will not go to class skyclad

31) I will not use Umbridge's quiz to write, "Told you I was Hard Core"

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine

39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts

40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "PWND!"

41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck

42) I do not have a Dalek Patronous

43) I will not lick Trevor

44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey"

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile

You know you live in 2009 when...

1.You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.

4.You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.

6.Your boss doesnt even have the ability to do your job.

7. You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9. And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

11.& now youre laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

So funny and True!

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.

(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.

(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.

(But wouldn't that save more time?Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.

(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.

(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.

(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.

(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

He: Why do you wear a Bra if you've got nothing to fill it in?
She: You wear pants, don't you?

He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and so is mine if you sit down.

He: Can I invite you a drink?
She: I'd rather you gave me the money.

He: Can I have this song?
She: All yours.

He: Your body is like a temple.
She: Sorry, no services today.

He: Where were you all my life?
She: Hiding from you.

He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can't laugh and talk at the same time.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you are against abortion, post this in your profile.

Think what if your mom hab believed the same lie and aborted, would that have mad you not human?

Things that i don't think deserve the franbase that they have. (all the things/mentioned on this page i have seen/ read so i am not speaking in ignorance.

1. High sschool musical

I mean relly come on! it's got the same plot as every other disney channel movie on the planet.

2. Anime/Manga

it's pretty much just a lame backwards book with the same stories as bad soap operas (and don't tell me it's not backwards. it might not be backwads in Japan, but last time i checked this was amaerica, not japan)

3. Twilight

THERE IS NO LOVE IN THIS BOOK!! it's all just obcessive stalkerish creepy crushes. not to mentionn the whole vamp guy falling for a human girl while the whole time thinking he's a monster and having to control himself, NOT HER IDEA!! watch Buffy, it has the same thing and it came out years before that disaster of paper you call a book.

Yes i do have a fanfic for new moon cause the ending pissed me off that much.

4. Obama

I truly hope he goes down as the greatest president ever. i don't think he will. Here's why
1. His solution for everything is to throw money at it
2. In this current ecconomic crisis obama is sending millions of dollars to fund abortions in other countries. Necessary? I think not.
3.He hasn't done anything but spen money! (13 Trillion dollars in his first 100 days. Has the economy gotten any better? didn't think so.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Captive by NinaRoja reviews
What if Mufasa survived the fall during the stampede, and the only way for Scar to become King and avoid exile is to hold Simba hostage? Based on a dream of mine. AU. COMPLETE!
Lion King - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Crime - Chapters: 21 - Words: 30,297 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 11/10/2011 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Simba, Scar/Taka - Complete
We've All Changed by maximumrideaddict reviews
Fang kicked Max out of the flock. Now, a year later, Max and her new friends, Kuro and Raz, meet up with the flock. Can Max learn to forgive and forget? Will the flock be able to accept the "new" Max? Teen for violence! PLEASE READ NOTICE AT END. THANKS.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Suspense - Chapters: 27 - Words: 40,242 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 10/23/2011 - Published: 3/15/2008 - Complete
Circumstantial Consequence by Tarantella reviews
Somber Resplendence Sequel:: After a bloody betrayal, Alycie and Murtagh are taken captive by the traitors. They struggle to survive as they are dragged across the Hadarac to Urû'baen. But the desert holds more than just sand this time. MurtaghOC
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 64,938 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 2/10/2007
A Slave of Love by HealingSpringWaters reviews
Edward is a slave. His master always hurts him but one day he gets sold. His new master, Charlie Swan, is just as cruel as his other one. The same day he meets his new master's dauhter, Bella, and falls head over heels for her. She loves him back... B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 19 - Words: 39,418 - Reviews: 468 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 10/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Inkfire by irish33cm reviews
Dustfinger and Ann have been read out of 'Inkheart' for a year, and Dustfinger has gone to find Silvertongue to help Ann and him escape the clutches of Capricorn. Capricorn, as well as Dustfinger both have their sights on the girl. DustfingerXOCXCapricorn
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 48,315 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 11/12/2008 - Published: 11/24/2007
Face Down by Twilight in my Eyes reviews
songfic. After SOF. By a twist of fate, the Flock has disbanded and Max is with Ari. Fang is in New York and comes upon the pair. He watches regretfully, as there isn't a lot he can do as Ari abuses Max. He must stop things. But how? Fax COMPLETE!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,274 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/27/2007 - Published: 1/21/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Alex Sold reviews
Scorpia does not forgive or forget, a lesson Alex will learn when he is kidnapped and sold to them like a slave. What do they want? and will Alex survive long enough to find out? AN: I'm back and writing
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,498 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 2/19/2010 - Published: 6/19/2008 - Complete
Time Twists reviews
Harry has been missing for three years, Hermione is assumed dead, Ron devoted himself to finding harry. with Voldemort running the wizarding world all hope seemed lost. but is everthing as hopless as it seems? better than it sounds give it a chance plz!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,496 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008
Destiny reviews
After being pulled from her world into Alagaësia Laura's future will be decided and her destiny set. If she can survive long enough to see it.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,176 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/25/2009 - Published: 5/2/2008
Twas Christmas Nowadays reviews
Twas christmastime again and it seems we've forgotten the story once more, let's see again what God had in store. a rendishine of "twas the night" my thoughts on what Christmas has become.oneshot
Bible - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 732 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/1/2008
Chained in Love reviews
The volturi decide to use Bella against Edward! This is my version of the confrontaion with the Volturi in New Moon. Full summary inside. Edward/Bella oneshot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,492 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Edward, Caius - Complete
Revelation reviews
Just a poem i wrote on the book Revelation- any and all reviews welcome -one shot
Bible - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Complete
Reread Again reviews
When Mo, Dustfinger and Farid vanish before Meggies eyes she seeks answers and finds a new reader who is determined to rule both the Inkworld and ours. He is holding all the cards but one. Now it's up to Meggie.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,305 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/23/2008 - Published: 4/22/2008