Funny Quotes from Fanfiction.net
"Don't think I won't kill you just because you're small and purple." > Ex umbra in solem by sunnycalendargirl
"I make a habit not to use my ass as collateral" > Unexpected Baggage by Raicheru
"I love both of you," Penelope breathed, dizzy with delight. "I mean, I really, really love you. As in, I want to bear your kittens." > Watching the Watchers by star of oberon
"You were my first girl, and I still entertain the possibility that there might be a second one. Someday." > Hollywood Derek Morgan by seditionary
"Insolent albino bastard of a hunchback and Unseelie! Misbegotten son of a snow demon with funny hair!" > Last Enchantment by Shamera
"I hate paperwork! Do you have any idea how boring that shit is? And the way they phrase things, it's always 'article' this and 'regulation' that, with numbers and letters and 'referring to blah blah blah of section blah of the treaty between Jerkass and Moron'. Like it would kill them to just have a 'Did you violate the Prime Directive? Check Yes or No' question. Bastards." > Home by Lanaea
"I hope that while you're outside today, something falls from the sky and hits you in the head to correct whatever mental problem with which you are afflicted." > A Mercury Prelude by Lee Black
"I have no real excuse for this fic other than a night spent with Morgan. Captain Morgan that is..". -unattributed quote
"Yaoi fangirls, aka fujoshi, live under one simple truth: all men are gay, except the one she's dating, he's bi."
"You with your, squishy, and your softness and that..." he shuddered violently and swallowed. "that...that deep, dark, void of penis munching doom!" Year Of The Snake by AlbinoFox
"See me going under the speed limit and passing you? That's a problem."
"That's what you're calling it? The Towel Episode? I want the whole season if every episode is like that!" -unattributed quote
"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Stab in and thrust upwards." -unattributed quote
"Firmly, butler, it isn't a woman. It doesn't matter if your hand shakes a little. If your aim is true, your target will be too dead to care about whether or not your hand is shaking." -unattributed quote
"It was fun to play the insane master of Dark Arts. Not only was it very fulfilling but it could do wonders for his stress levels." With You by MidnightEmber
"It was mid-November and he looked like a blimp. He didn't even look like a nice blimp. He looked like one of those blimps that no one rode because of health risks." With You by MidnightEmber
"Really? You must have a rather weak disposition then to be so affected by so little a stimulation. That must be rather frustrating for you, not to mention your girlfriend." Play on Words by KittyWoman12
"Mr Doalott, 'Finders, keepers' is not an acceptable policy in the matter of assigning guardianship over an underage wizard!" Words Fail by Nea Marika
XMFC/Inception fusion AU: CHESSMEN: Erik is an extractor, Alex is his point man. They're assembling a team to go after the most dangerous mind in dreamsharing: Sebastian Shaw. But unless Alex and the team can keep him in check, Erik's desire for vengeance might just rip the whole job apart around them -- and then there's the shade that haunts his dreams...
Original Fiction: STARS FELL ON ALABAMA: Quinn Tucker is a Green Beret that got sent home due to an injury several months before a killer flu virus spread world-wide over the space of several weeks. When the smoke cleared he was alone, and he began to drift the country on horseback, searching for something to give him a purpose again. What he found changed him forever.
Pocahontas AU: COLORS OF THE WIND: Thomas while looking for John in the forest gets taken by Kokoum to the village. Forced to remain there since he knows the location of the villiage, Thomas must adapt to life in the village under the stern watch of Kocoum.
Original Fiction: TRIAL 139C: Bentley had always been enthralled with the crossbreed known only as Trial 139C. When disaster strikes, Bentley rushes to rescue the half-shark creature. Little did he know, soon he would be the one in need of saving.