Twilarose
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Joined 05-02-08, id: 1566217, Profile Updated: 11-13-12
Author has written 13 stories for Redwall, Warriors, Oedipus the King, Pokémon, StarTrek: Deep Space Nine, and My Little Pony.

Okay, so I realized that if I printed out my profile, it would be over 50 pages. I don't know weather to be proud or ashamed.

Go like my Facebook page! You'll get an inside view on my writing process and behind the scenes info about my stories.

(\ _ /)
(O.o )

This is Bunny. Copy Bunny into your profile to help him on his way to world domination

95% of teens would be crying if Justin Bieber was on a 100 ft tall building about to jump. If you are some of the 5% who brought popcorn and friends, add this to your signature.

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HIGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
'm 0 m' (was your hero)
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMIES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!

IMPORTANT: EVERYONE GO AND SIGN THIS; http://www.fanfiction.net/topic/2872/6030605/1/ After the recent rash of obscene reviews, someone started a petition asking the mods for the ability to delete signed reviews. I feel this is an important issue here, and support it wholeheartedly. I'd appreciate it if everyone could take the time to at least read the petition, sign it if you agree, and preferably link to it in your own bios and such so we get as many signatures as possible. Thanks for taking notice.


Brian Jacques, author of the Redwall series, died February 5, 2011 at age 71. His final book, The Rogue Crew, will be released May 3, 2011. He was my favorite author and my role model in the world of writing. Please, keep his family in your thoughts and prayers, and for all who loved his books like I do, never forget him.


If you are here then you must care about my pathetic life. SO PAY ATTENTION TO THE FOLLOWING!!

Name: Danielle

Nicknames: Ellie and Daniela. I've also been called a homicidal maniac, but hey, you are what you are.

Gender: Kinda common sense there

Age: Why do you care?

Current Location: A mental hospital in Baltimore

Best Friends: Bob the Dust Bunny and Santa Claus

Type of Shampoo: None. Why?

Blood Type: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Warrior Name and Clan: Darkheart of ShadowClan/ThunderClan (Read Darkheart's Journey to learn more!)

Hobbies: Reading, acting, singing, and scaring random people

Fav Colors: Orange, Green, Blue, Yellow, and Red

Pets: Two beautiful cats named Hazel and Alice. Hazel is a white Turkish Van with brown spots. Alice is a brown tabby with a white belly and legs. We also rescued a Russian Blue named Smokey recently.

Fav Game: Life (not the board game)

Fav Bands: Nickelback, Daughtry, and Big Time Rush

Fav Books: Graceling, Fire, Harry Potter series, The Sisters Grimm series, Alpha series, Redwall series, Warriors series, Steve and Me, Percy Jackson and the Olympians series, Twilight series

Fav Shows: Human Target, River Monsters, Project Runway, On The Road With Austin and Santino, Modern Family, My Wife and Kids, Wolverine and the X-Men, Big Time Rush, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Clean House, The Crocodile Hunter, Life, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Invader Zim

Fav Movies: Letters to Juliet, Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy, X-Men Trilogy, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Iron Man, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, The Princess Bride, The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, The Day After Tomorrow, 2012, Star Trek, Julie and Julia

Fav Characters: Logan/Wolverine, Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler, Pietro Maximoff/Quicksilver, Percy Jackson, Tyson, Grover, Dionysus, Basil Stag Hare, Matthias, Cregga, Deyna, The Mask, Folgrim, Sunflash the Mace, Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Whitestorm, Yellowfang, Emmett, Jasper, Sabrina, Puck, Uncle Jake, Daphne

Hated Characters: Jean Grey/Phoenix, Rachel Summers-Grey/Marvel Girl, Scott Summers/Cyclops, Annabeth Chase, Juniper, Abbott Mortimer, Millie, Bella, Edward, Martin the Warrior, Timballisto


Type your name: Twilarose

type with your eyes closed: yeislxgodf (wow i was off)

type with nose: TBA

type with mouth: TBA

type with toe: TBA

type with elbow: rtf5qwikklasgvvfbided


Fav Quotes:

Embrace the randomness or you will never taste the rainbow. - Me!

If I can't be accepted, I'll just settle for being ignored. - Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes

Duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. -Anonymous

If at first you succeed - try to hide your astonishment. - Harry F. Banks

One thing about the speed of light - it gets here too early in the morning. - Anonymous

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? - Anonymous

When you come to a fork in the road, take it! - Yogi Berra

Be nice to people. They outnumber you 6.5 billion to one. - Anonymous

A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say "How to Build a Boat." - Stephen Wright

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I misplaced my dictionary. Now I'm at a loss for words. - Anonymous

What's another word for "thesaurus"? - Anonymous

I'm glad Edward didn't kill you. Things are so much fun when you're around. - Emmett from Twilight

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. –Edgar Allan Poe

All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things wise and wonderful, the Lord God made them all. - Cecil Frances Alexander

You don't have to wear the crown to be the king. - Anthony Williams, Project Runway Season 7

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty - Winston Churchill

The next time the devil reminds you of your past remind him of his future. - Unknown

Don't follow in my footsteps I run into walls. - Unknown

I could fix it, if I only had some duct tape. - Murdock from Macgyver

Doors are for people with no imaginations. - Skuldurggery Pleasant.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver. - Unknown

I haven't lost my mind! I sold it on eBay. - Unknown

And is it fair that Pluto has to live in a dog house, while Goofy, who is also a dog, gets to drive around and play golf with Mickey? . . . It's just something that's always bothered me - Louis Stevens

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. - Unknown

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... - Unknown

Sometimes you get to the end of the rainbow to find out that the leprechaun has it booby trapped. - Unknown

If a polar bear is gay, then is it bipolar? - A girl in my Spanish class

Violence is never the answer, unless the question is "What takes place during a war?" - Unknown

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES! - Unknown

You're just jealous 'cause the little voices are talking to me. - Unknown

Dare to be different. - Me!

I don't want to be remembered as the one who stood out because she was different. I want to be remembered as the one who stood out because she stayed true to herself. - Me!

In 2011 the government will start shipping the idiots away. My eyes watered when I thought of losing you. Be strong and pack your crayons. - A text message from one of my friends

For crying out loud, is it wrong to assume he's so far in the closet that he's fighting to free Narnia? - Daydreamer897 on Ashfur, The Truth About Warriors (Honestly, I could list a thousand funny quotes from this story, but that would be weird)

I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "You’re next" "You’re next". Well they stopped doing that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. - Unknown

I have no empty heroes. My goodies are good, and my baddies are bad. There are no schizophrenic goodies or sympathetic baddies. And children like it that way; it's not confusing. And they want the goodies to defeat the bads. - Brain Jacques

I suppose there's a child inside me who wants to get out...A little baldy child with a beard. - Brain Jacques


Funny Joke:

Harry! Come quick! Dumbledore's been in an accident!

Was it serious?

No, it was Snape!

That was for all you Harry Potter fans in the world. Hoped you liked it!


Musings of the Crazies:

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

EMO--Extravagantly Made Origami

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

If you're going to criticize someone, first walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is GOING somewhere.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I was about to take over the world, but I got distracted when I saw something shiny.

Boys are like Slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is filled.

When you get caught looking at him just remember he was looking back.

It’s always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after you found it?

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

When in doubt, make up words.

Flying is simple! Just throw yourself towards the earth, then miss the ground.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my milk!!

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Stupidity is not a crime so you're free to go.

I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.

PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

When someone annoys you, it takes forty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend your arm and whack them upside the head.

I know who I am...your approval really isn't needed.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

To date, life has been a race between Software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I may end up using it later.

Nine of the ten Voices in my head think I'm sane. The tenth is undecided.

Every day I think people can't get any dumber. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.

My imaginary friend thinks you have a very serious problem…let me fix it for you? *holds up a wrench*

There are three stages of insanity: Denial, Acceptance, and Freaking Everybody Out. I've reached the third.

Out of my mind. Be back in ten years…maybe.

Even if the voices aren’t real, they have some good ideas.

I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.

I don't need your attitude, I have my own.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.

I can only please on person per day. Today is just not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as me.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's

A true idiot clims a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

The extinction of the dinosaurs was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!

Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly

Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.

The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then I get hit in the face.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking

At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit!

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and she got away.

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."


CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES
THAT NEVER MADE IT TO THE BEST SELLER LIST

You Were an Accident

Strangers Have the Best Candy

The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator

The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

Your Nightmares Are Real!

Dad’s New Wife, Robert

Curious George and the High Voltage Fence

The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

Whining, Kicking and Screaming To Get Your Way

What Is That Dog Doing to That Other Dog?

Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?


Rock, Paper, Scissors

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors


Popular Last Words:

"Oops."

"I didn't know that part came off."

"Oh $@#%."

"Hey, honey! Look!"

"No hands!"

"I don't think that's supposed to bend that way."

"I can too!"

"It's perfectly harmless."

"OF COURSE I know what I'm doing."


My Mother... (This sounds just like my mom.)

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


Thank You Dad

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping
it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him
by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out
of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to
the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch
certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You
thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him
by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked
him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus
carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm
so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you
how deeply he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the
country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You
thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.
Never take your dad for granted, you have no idea what you are missing. Love him
and thank him while he's alive.


Pick Up Lines

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Woman: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?

Man: Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Woman: Really? I have the incredible urge to plant my foot up your @.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?


Names

Super-Hero Name (favorite color and favorite drink): Orange Smoothie

Star Wars Name (first three letters of last name, first three letters of first name): Ort Dan

Arabic Name (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of you dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, and last letter of your moms middle name): Atrlrsy

Goth Name (black and the name of one of your pets): Black Hazel

Witness Protection Name (mother’s & father’s middle names): Mary Jerome

Nascar Name (first name of your mother’s mom, father’s mom): Helen Julia

Fly Name (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Daor

Gangsta Name (first 3 letters of first name plus izzle): Danizzle

Detective Name (the plus favorite color and favorite animal): The Orange Dolphin

Rock Star Name (favorite fruit and something that can go wrong): Kiwi Experiment

Pirate Name (any color and a pirate accessory): Pink Parrot

Soap Opera Name (your middle name and street you live on): Rose Sun Circle

Street Name (favorite ice-cream and favorite cookie): Vanilla Snickerdoodle


A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd's ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap


ONLY IN AMERICA...

...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

...are there handicap parking spaces in front of ice-skating rinks

...sick people go to the back of Walgreens to get their medicine, while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front

...people buy hotdogs in packs of 10 and hotdog buns in packs of 8

...the banks leave both vaults open and then chain the pens to the counter

...people order a double cheese burger, large fries, and a diet coke

...people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveways and keep their junk in garages

...people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so they won't miss the calls from someone they don't want to talk to in the first place

...is the word "politics" used to describe the process so well; "Poli-" in latin means "many" and "tics" mean "blood-sucking creatures


Survey!

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4. the water and were gone. Martin and Gonff came to sit (Legend of Luke)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch? AIR!!!!

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? My Wife and Kids

4. Without looking, guess what time it is: 9:20 am

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 9:17 am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Humans talking around me

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? Yesterday when I was getting a raccoon out of our trash can

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at? xxBLACKnWHITExx's profile

9. What are you wearing? Gray jeans, black converse, white T-shirt, and black and white plaid shirt

10. Did you dream last night? Two frogs were getting married (it was sooo romantic!)

11. When did you last laugh? In my English class about 20 minutes ago

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in? The blood of the innocent. JK paint

13. Seen anything weird lately? A dog lying on its side with its eyes wide open and it's tongue hanging out

14. What do you think of this quiz? It gives me something to do during computer science class (Yeah I'm in school)

15. What is the last film you saw? Super Size Me. We were watching it in Biology

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? Australia (They got cute little critters) or a zoo. Oh I know! A leprechaun!

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know: I have a very very active imagination

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? Oh there's so much I would do. I would make war illegal, animal abuse is punishable by death, and everything was free!

19. Do you like to dance? I can't dance to save my life

20. George Bush: He has a funny face

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Sasha

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? Logan

23. Would you ever consider living abroad? It depends on where


Another Survey!

Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown
Height: I think I'm 5'5

Shoe Size: Women's 6-7
Pet: three cats, two fish (the fish are older than me!)
Sport: I suck at all of them
Have You Ever:
Bungee Jumped: I'm afraid of gravity
Abseiled: What is that?
Gone out of the Country: Not yet but I'm going to Italy next summer
Beaten someone Up: Do brothers count?
Gotten Beat Up: Stupid brother
Killed an Animal: Not on purpose! But I think I may have killed a fish.
Swam in the Ocean: Love the beach
Broke the Law: Not yet
Smoked: Nope and I don't want to
Chewed Tobacco: See above answer
Drank: I'm not even legal!
Been Kissed: Yup!
Been In Love: Yup
Dumped Someone: Yeah, he was a smoker
Been Dumped: Nope
Broken Someone's heart: Not that I know of
Had Your Heart Broken: Sorta
Liked Someone Who Didn't Like You Back: Always
Broken A Bone: Twice
Had Surgery: Not that I know of
Had an X-ray or MRI: When I broke my arm
Failed a Class: NEVER!!

...: Favorites:...
Color: Orange
Food: Pasta pasta pasta
Drink: Orange and strawberry smoothie
Snack: An apple or other fruit
Cereal: Frosted Flakes
Ice Cream: Vanilla
Candy: Gah! I can't choose!
Restaurant: Olive Garden
Animal: I love all animals
Quote: Scroll up if you wanna know
Sport To Play: None!
Sport To Watch: I watch football sometimes
Movie: Again, scroll up
TV Show: Scroll up scroll up scroll up!
Type Of Music: World to rock
Band: Nickelback, Daughtry, and Big Time Rush
Singer: Taylor Swift
Song: It's always changing

This//Or//That:...
Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi
Vanilla or Chocolate: Vanilla
Cake or Ice Cream: Vanilla cake
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonalds. I know it's bad for you but it's sooo good!
Love or Money: Probably love
Music or TV: TV
Cat or Dog: Cat!
Mom or Dad: Mommy
Truck or Car: Again, it depends on what type
Ocean or Lake: Ocean
Yahoo or Hotmail: What's the difference?
Google or AJ: Google
Light or Dark: Depends if you’re inside or outside.
Country or City: Country cuz I can't stand the city
Rain or Sunshine: Sunshine

...: The Opposite Sex:...
First Thing You Notice: Smile
Personality or Looks: Personality

Hair Color: Doesn't really matter
Eye Color: Same
Short or Tall: Tall
Romantic or Spontaneous: A little bit of both
Sense of Humor or Sweet: Both are great
Hook up or Relationship: Relationship

...: Currently:..
Feeling: Bored
Listening To: My teacher talking
Wanna: Go home
Doing Besides Typing: Class work
Thinking About: How fast I can finish this
Wearing: Jeans, a T-shirt, and a sweater
In Love: Not at the moment
Single: Sigh, yes

...: The Future...
Career: A vet and a writer
Marriage: I would like that
Kids: One if kids are anything like me and my brother. We can't go five minutes without fighting.


OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.


Questionnaires

List twelve Random characters, in no particular order. Then answer the questions about them.

1. Wolverine

2. Mariel of Redwall

3. Brambleclaw

4. Random Stromtrooper

5. Darth Vader

6. Storm

7. Percy Jackson

8. Yellowfang

9. Princess Leia

10. Professor X

11. Martin the Warrior

12. Rakkety Tam

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?

Storm/Martin the Warrior, A mouse with a sword and a mutant who controls the weather. That makes no sense!

2. Do you think four is hot? How hot?

Random Stormtrooper be SEXY!

3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

Rakkety Tam/Yellowfang, A squirrel and cat hybrid. That sounds fascinating.

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?

I don't read Princess Leia fics but I bet there are some.

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Mariel of Redwall/Storm, Again, a mouse and a mutant. What has the world come to?!

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?

Darth Vader/Princess Leia, That's a father/daughter thing there. Darth Vader/Professor X, Little gay action with a cyborg and a man in a wheelchair. Both are wrong.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

Percy Jackson walked in on Mariel of Redwall/Rakkety Tam getting funky. He would probably faint.

8. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?

Wolverine/Yellowfang, That's a mutant with metal claws and a grumpy old cat. OF COURSE THERE ISN'T!

9. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic?

Percy Jackson/Rakkety Tam, I don't know, DemiSquirrel?

10. Does anyone on your friends' list read three hot?

I don't think people read Brambleclaw hot.

11. Does anyone on your friends' list write or draw Eleven?

Martin the Warrior is crazy popular

12. Would anyone on your friends' list write Two/Four/Five?

Mariel of Redwall/Random Stormtrooper/Darth Vader, NO ONE writes that!

13. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

Yellowfang? Hmmm maybe Because of You.

14. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Wolverine/Storm/Rakkety Tam, The pairing should be warning enough

15. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

I don't read Darth Vader fics, but maybe I should

16. 1 and 8 are in a happy relationship until 5 runs off with 9. After 8 dumps 1 for 2, 6 gets upset and retaliates by dating 12. Alone and broken-hearted, 1 travels in search of a friend. Finally, 1 meets 4 and 7. The three loners meet 10, who tells each of them to look for love. 4 finds 3, 7 gets 11, but now 1 is in a never-ending love triangle with 6 and 12!

Wolverine and Yellowfang are having a good time, and Darth Vader runs off with Princess Leia (oh gawd). Yellowfang dumps Wolverine for Mariel of Redwall (a cat and a mouse what could go wrong) so Storm starts dating Rakkety Tam (oh this is wrong). Wolverine is looking for a friend and meets Random Stormtrooper and Percy Jackson. The three meet Professor X, aka the Love Doctor, who tells them to look for love. Random Stormtrooper meets Brambleclaw (oh no), Percy Jackson falls for Martin the Warrior (this isn't good), while Wolverine is in a love triangle with Storm and Rakkety Tam (this is just wrong).

What would you title this fic?

A Very Bad Idea


The Death Eater's Guide

Greetings, new follower:

If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.

Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).

The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.

Yours in infamy,

Lord Voldemort


So You Want To Be A Death Eater?

Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.

Aims of the society:

World peace
To be evil
To conquer the world
Elimination of all Muggles
Elimination of all Mudbloods
Elimination of Albus Dumbledore & the Order of the Phoenix
Elimination of (miscellaneous)
To serve Lord Voldemort (that's me!)
To create sanctuaries for endangered breeds of snakes
This statement is a lie.

List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:

(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)

Long Black Robes (Casual)
Long Black Robes (Smart)
Short Black Robes (for summer wear)
Long Black cloak (silk is preferable to velvet, as it is much more absorbent)
Black mask (informal)
Black mask (sequined)
Black boots (Stiletto heels are no longer permitted)
Black leather gloves (barbed wire ornamentation optional)
Wand
Extra wand in case of losing first wand
Plastic imitation wand in case of losing Extra wand

Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).

Coffin
Dueling sword
Disguise kit, containing: Nun's outfit, false beard, beekeeping veil, Muggle policeman's costume, etc.
Saw
Assorted chains
Handcuffs
Pointy stick

Recommended Reading:

Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Evil: A Beginners Guide by Professor E. Maledict
The Illustrated Torturer's handbook by Bellatrix Black
What Not to Wear in the Torture Chamber by Narcissa Malfoy
Sex, Lies, and Unforgivable Curses: The Authorised Biography of Lord Voldemort by Peter Pettigrew
Caring For Your New Tattoo: An Informative Guide St. Mungo's Hospital Skin Department

Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.

Death Eater Rules:

No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
No Death Eater shall play the harmonica.
All Death Eaters must be proficient in the Dark Arts: murder, Unforgivable Curses, yodeling etc. An annual examination will be made to make sure that all members are up to scratch.
No Death Eater shall behave with integrity unless it is a genuine accident.
A Death Eater must be pureblooded.
No Death Eater must ever mention that the Dark Lord himself is not pureblooded.
No Death Eater may kill another Death Eater without a very good reason.
All Death Eaters shall answer Lord Voldemort's summons immediately. (Unless you are having a shower, in which case it is permitted to don a bath robe first.)
All Death Eaters shall have vaguely sinister surnames.
All Death Eaters shall overtake on the left.

Frequently Asked Questions:

What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?

As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:

Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
Being dissolved in a vat of basilisk venom.
Gradual impalement on your own wand.
Death by Mandrake (according to season).
The Pancake curse. (This newly developed spell will carve you into wafer-thin slices. Victims killed in this way are traditionally cooked in hot fat and served with maple syrup or lemon juice at Death Eater feasts.)
Being flayed alive and used as a life-sized glove puppet at Death Eater children's parties.
Avada Kedavra (if we're in a hurry/ feeling rather unimaginative).

What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?

Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.

(See above)

What is the salary like?

You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.

Does the Dark Mark hurt?

Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?

Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?

No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.

But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)

Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?

You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.

Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?

Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior.

What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?

This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.

The Death Eater Anthem

(to be memorized by each new recruit as soon as possible).

Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.

Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
When all is dim and dark?
Who murder people in their beds
Or sometimes in the park?
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Our blood is pure as pure!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We all love Voldemort!
We serve the Dark Lord every day,
We're always very loyal
And if with us you don't agree
We'll boil you in hot oil!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're evil as can be!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
But if we're scared we'll flee!
Our curses are incredible.
We're known for our Morsmordres
And though our leader is insane
We always follow orders.
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
We're wickedness collective!
Death Eaters! Death Eaters!
Yet rather ineffective!


Health and Safety:

Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.

However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:

Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.

Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.

If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)

Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).

Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.

If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.

Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.

Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.

Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.

Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.

Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.

Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.

Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).

Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.

Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)


Rules For Hogwarts:

- If death eaters are attacking Hogsmeade I will not point at the sky and shout TO THE BAT MOBILE!

- Remus Lupin does NOT want a flea collar

- I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his time of the month.

- I will not say 'dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort

- I will not ask Snape why he stole Batman's cape

- I will not call Professor Flitwick Yoda

- I am not to refer to the Accio charm as 'The Force'.

- I will not take the Giant Squid to the Yule Ball.

- If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 10 minutes, I shall assume that I am not allowed to use it.

- It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.

- "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

- Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."

- I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs

- The Whomping Willow is not a Entwife with PMS

- I will not yell "I have eight horcruxes, take that Voldy!"

- I will not say "So I was all like Avada Kadavra and he was all like. Dead."

- Draco Malfoy is the amazing...bouncing...Ferret

- No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

- Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in May...June...or July...

- Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

- I am not allowed to sing 'We're Off to See The Wizard' on the way to the headmaster's office

- I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

- Especially not with kazoos.

- The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

- Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other house is forbidden.

- There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man"...even if I do conjure him up.

- Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

- The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate, especially in reference to Professor Umbridge.

- I will not write "Wizard" on my hat in sequins.

- I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

- I am not allowed to dress exactly like Snape and ask him to call me "mini me."

- I know that Snape does not want bleach, laundry detergent, or new underwear for his birthday or Christmas. No combination of these is acceptable.

- Murmuring “I see dead people… ” every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.

- Yelling “to infinity, and BEYOND!” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

- I am no longer allowed to sing my “own personal spy music” when I wander around the hallways.

- I should not remark that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” when Snape gets angry. Ever.

- If I become an animagus, I am not allowed to yell “MORPHIN’ TIME!” every time I change.

- I cannot do this whenever anyone else changes either.

- I must not shout "beam me up Scotty" before disapparating.

- I will not give Hagrid Pokémon cards and convince him that they are real animals


Stupid Stereotypes (Note: These are not my personal opinions or views):

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell. (Actually, some of my besties are gay. And I don't care!)
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems


HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- But then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.

Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me.

When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.

As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

If the story above affected you as much as it did me, please copy and paste this onto your own profile


I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried their daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had a realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bed bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court said I am an unfit mother because I now live with a another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to deal with society hating me.

I am a the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most: love.

I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents that he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it. DO IT NOW!!


Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart


Don't Drink and Drive!!

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming,
Mom Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddy's Girl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?


Copy and paste this into your profile if you want to make sense, but it's simply not possible for someone like you.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you walk into walls and apologize.

Copy and paste this into your profile if pipe cleaners are really really fun!!

Copy and paste this into your profile if you are insanely insane.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you have ever said something that had NOTHING to do w/ the conversation.

Copy and paste this into your profile if your friends are the types who walk into marble walls at art museums.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you "decorate" cereal boxes by drawing mustaches and third eyes on the model, autograph the box, and put it back in the food pantry.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you know someone who should get run over by a bus.

Copy and paste this if you hug random people in the school hallways and run/skip away laughing like the harmless maniac you are.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you like light switches.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you think wallabies are cute!!

Copy and paste this into your profile if you are plotting world domination of your own little world.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever burst out laughing in a quiet room because of something that happened yesterday, copy and paste

If you've ever imagined yourself killing off a fictional character so that you could steal her fictional boyfriend, copy this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend (or two...or three...or four...or five...et cetera), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against child abuse, you should copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think cancer is awful, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against animal cruelty, put this in your profile.

If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have sibling(s) that drive you crazy, then copy this onto your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you're wearing pants right now, copy and paste this on your profile

If you think girls should rule the world and that it would be a better place copy this onto your profile

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob

If you have ever eaten something utterly disgusting on accident, and then realized it right afterward and tried to spit it out, copy and paste this on your profile

If you've ever laughed so hard tears streamed down your face, you banged your repeatedly on a table, and received weird looks from everyone in the immediate vicinity, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever had an argument with yourself and LOST, copy and paste this on you profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (but not as weird as you) put this on your profile

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If you have a wide range of interests, put this on your profile

If you're stalking a fictional character, copy this to your profile.

If you have been hit in the face with a ball and started laughing copy this on your profile

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know a video game/book/movie/anime/manga character or weapon that need(s) to exist, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever had a crush on a person from a movie/book/video game, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can be quiet one second and hyper in another, but don't have mood swings, copy this in your profile.

If you have a wide range of interests, put this on your profile

If your profile is long, copy this onto it to make it even longer

If you have ever copy and pasted something copy and paste this onto your profile (Or Else!)

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventilated, had your sides’ cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever zoned out for five consecutive minutes copy this on your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you tend to laugh your arse off at funny FanFics and everyone thinks you're weird, copy and paste this into your profile

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read,.If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile


16 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, stage-whisper "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.."NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

16. Pick out all the ugliest clothes you can find and take them to the dressing room. Announce to all the others shoppers that there will be a fashion show shortly. Enforce it


Fun things to do on an elevator:

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, and then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.


PRODUCT LABELS

On a Sears hairdryer--Do not use while sleeping. (Oh NO! when will I use this, then?)

On a bag of Frito's -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (So, we're endorsing shoplifting, now? )

On a bar of Dial soap --Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be...?)

On some Swanson frozen dinners --Serving suggestion: Defrost. (Thanks for the suggestion, but I like it frozen better.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --Do not turn upside down. (Oh, thank goodness. I shudder to think what would happen if I turned it upside down.)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding --Product will be hot after heating. (Wow, thanks for the heads-up.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- Do not iron clothes on body. (Man! I won't have time to iron clothes now.)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- Warning: May cause drowsiness. (You don't think.)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- For indoor or outdoor use only. (as opposed to...dot dot dot...?)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- Warning: contains nuts. (Thank goodness they warned me.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (I'll do what I want with my packaged nuts, thank you very much.)

On a child's Superman costume -- Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Aw, man! now I'll have to return this...I wanted to jump off skyscrapers and stuff.)

On a bottle of shampoo for dogs -- Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish. (Can i feed it to snakes then?)

On a hand-held massaging device -- Do not use while sleeping or unconscious. (But I like being massaged while I sleep!)

On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan -- Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking. (I'll drink out of the toilet if I want to thank you very much)

On a pair of shin guards -- Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover. (Dang it! Now my head will be vulnerable!)

On a container of underarm deodorant -- Caution: Do not spray in eyes. (But they smell so bad!)


29 Annoying Ways to Order a Pizza

1. Start the conversation with "My call to (Pizza Place), take one... and... ACTION!"

2. If using a touch-tone phone, press random numbers while ordering. Tell the person taking the order, "would you please stop doing that...?"

3. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

4. Do not name your toppings; rather, spell them out.

5. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

6. Order 52 pepperoni slices arranged in a fractal pattern following from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they're getting all of this down.

7. If they repeat the order to verify it, say "OK. Your total comes to 10.99. Please pull up to the window."

8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say "Yes," heave a sigh of relief.

9. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni," using a long "i" sound.

10. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)?" When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When finally offered proof that they are really (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

11. Ask to see a menu.

12. Say you'll be able to pay for this "when the Hollywood people call back."

13. Demand imperiously, "Do you have ANY IDEA what is at stake with this pizza?!"

14. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

15. Punctuate your sentences with exclamations such as "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

16. Start the conversation by reciting the date and time, and saying, "This may be my last entry."

17. Sing the order to the tunes of songs from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" album: "Chop your pizza on a mirror!"; "Master! Master! Put hot sausages on my pizza!"; or "Gimme Pizza! You will do what I say, when I say Gimme Pizza!"

18. Give your order, then state firmly, "And that's as far as this relationship is going to get."

19. Ask for a deal available from a different pizza chain (e.g., if phoning Domino's, ask for a CheeserCheeser)

20. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza. Repeat this nested loop until asked to stop, then explain that you got "stuck."

21. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

22. Learn to imitate a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

23. Attempt to teach the order-taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

24. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

25. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

26. Order with a Speak-n-Spell.

27. If order-taker suggests a side order, ask why s/he is punishing you.

28. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, (So-and-so)."

29. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say, in your poutiest voice, "LAST guy let me do it..."


42 ways to annoy your parents

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...
2. Moo when they say your name...
3. Run into walls...
4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...
5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...
6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...
7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm an idiot"...
8. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to all the time...
9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...
10. Do what they actually tell you...
11. Jump off the roof, trying to fly...
12. Hold their hand and whisper to them, I see dead people...
13. At everything they say yell, Liar...
14. Try to swim in the floor...
15. Tap on their door all night...
16.Pretend to have amnesia...
17.Say everything backwards...
18.Give yourself a swirly...
19.Run around with a lamp shade on your head yelling, "the sun!! it's dying!!"...
20.Sing at the top of your lungs while running around the house...in your underwear...
21.Have nervous spasms at spontaneous times...
22.Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder...
23.Run in circles...
24.Recite a whole movie 3 times...
25.Pretend to beat yourself up...
26.Chase/bark at the mail man...
27.Wear your pants on your head and your shirt on your waist... tell them you're making a fashion statement...
28.Try and drink out of a glass the wrong way...
29.Super glue your finger up your nose...
30.Talk to a pen...
31.Lay face down and chant like an Indian tribe...
32.Try and climb the wall...
33.Roll on the floor laughing hysterically in supermarkets...
34.Take your ice cream cone and put it on your forehead... say you're a lovely unicorn...
35. Turn the tv on to a station you don't get, watch the static and say you're looking for the pattern...
36.Switch the light button on and off for a while. then say, "ooooh... I get it!!"...
37.Eat your hair...
38.Whatever they are eating, tell them it looks like a certain animal...
39.Eat anything obviously not edible...
40.Say your pet is mocking you and chase it around the house...
41.When you shower or bathe yell, "I'm drowning!!"...
42.Try to snorkel in your fish tank...


13 FUN THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL

1. Every time the speaker comes on scream at the top of your lungs "their back."

2. Bring a scooter and zoom around. Ask someone at a store where you can park your scooter.

3. Go to a store and grab 20 of the same shirts. when the cashier tells you the price scream holy cow and tell him to put them all back.

4. Buy a smoothie and tell a random person to hold it and walk away. See how long it takes before they throw it away.

5. After they do walk up and scream in their faces "wheres my smoothie!?"

6. Stand inside a store and when someone walks through tell them your our 4th customer today heres your prize hand them the nearest clothes.

7. Walk up to a random person and say "I havent seen you in forever" then give them a hug.

8. When they say they don't know you tell them you were best friends in the 1st grade

9. Repeat said process when the security guard comes

10. Switch all the size tage and hangers around.

11.Ask a random person in the food court if you can have a french fry.

12. run up the down escalator

13. put all the shoes in different boxes so they are mismatched


What High School Musical has Taught Us

1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number.

2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends.

3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss.

4. Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song.

5. Don't worry about being rude/mean because in the end things will work out for you.

6. School spirit is a must. Especially during the summer.

7. Your friends are not human and should always be addressed by the name of their school mascot.

8. Yes! You can paint your locker pink! Screw the school board.

9. You can be a chef, lifeguard, or golf assistant...no experience needed!

10. A guy can never wear too much bronzer.

11. Lakes are the equilivant of mirrors. They can show your reflection perfectly!

12. It is possible to memorize a 3 minute song over the course of 30 seconds...and sing it perfectly!

13. It doesn't matter that you're not a staff member... You can still attend any and all staff events.

14. The phrase 'more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match' is something that can be used in everyday conversation

15. There are two bells that get you out of school. The first one tells you to start singing and dancing, the second announces you should stop.

16. Even though its the last day of school, its okay to leave stuff in the locker for the summer.

17. If your family is 'saving pennies' for your college education and gives you a junky truck to drive because they 'can't afford anything else', it is normal for their kitchen to have expensive granite counter tops and a 7,000 fridge.

18. Pianos can float now. Go ahead, try it.

19. It's perfectly acceptable for a guy to wear girl's capris.

20. If you're upset, just run through a golf course, jumping and spinning, while singing 'Bet on it'...you won't fall at any point, and no one will stop and think 'what the flip?'.

21. You can send telepathic messages to your mom to tell her to pick you up just as you're finishing your breakup song with your boyfriend.

22. A resort can be highly successful when there are way more employees than guests.

23. 'And she stepped on the ball' is actually quite funny. You just need to put it into context.

24. One family can apparently control an entire city, including all educational institutions in the area.

25. It's good manners to refer to your mother as a 'backstabber'

26. Turkey imported from Maine is much better than any other turkey. In fact, it's fabulous...

27. Apparently, it is now possible to hire an entire high school to be the staff at an upscale country club.

28. Iced tea from England is blue

29. Water Bug is a really cute, funny, and romantic pet name. -gags- Gah, my god, Rowsely...

30. Being a teenage paparazzi at school and taking multiple pictures of the same two people is not weird or creepy in any way

31 .When your girlfriend tells you that your shoes don't match your tie, you must do a stupid looking surfer move to see if she's right, you can't just look down.

32. Take two small saucepan lids and bang them together. You'll find they make the exact same sound as a large GONG. Go on, have a go.

33. It IS possible to have any object in the world come in pink & engraved with your initials.

34. If you are the basketball star of your school, you can get yourself, as well as the rest of the school, summer jobs.

35. Lava Springs apparently had no employees, since they had to hire a whole new staff.

36. Don't change your friends, change your dreams.

37. 'What team?' 'Wildcats!''GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!' can fix any problem.

38. Basketball scholarships at the University of Albuquerque depend completely on your musical performance skills

39. Guitars and speaker equipment can be placed near a pool safely.

40.When you frolic with your girlfriend in the golf course, you get in trouble. When you frolic by yourself and sing, nothing happens, of course.


What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scan tron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


Stupid Things (the bold are mine):

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82.Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class.
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth.


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Heart of Erebor by TheTimelessCycle reviews
'He could stand the wild light in his uncle's gaze. He withstood the crazed glint that entered the ravenous stares of his companions. But when that madness seeped also into the eyes of his own beloved brother, he knew something had to be done. He just wasn't expecting it to be this.'-The gold sickness of Erebor claims one more, and the path of destiny is irrevocably changed.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 45 - Words: 196,325 - Reviews: 594 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 4/10 - Published: 12/17/2013 - Thorin, Bilbo B., Fili, Kili
I'm Knocked Up by Ms. Goodfellow reviews
I'm Sabrina Grimm. I'm 17 years old, a senior in high school, and...I'm pregnant. Oh, and the best part? The father is the absolute bane of my existence. How did I get myself into this?
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 58,323 - Reviews: 552 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 3/19 - Published: 8/26/2010 - Sabrina G., Puck - Complete
Finding Home by Glory For Sleep reviews
"When fear is the only thing known, then it's time to fight back." May/Drew, with others. Book 3 of the "Cadence Of Their Fear" trilogy.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 13 - Words: 70,967 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 2/4 - Published: 8/16/2011 - May/Haruka, Drew/Shū
Puckabrina Family by Secrets in the Void reviews
Sabrina has something to say to Puck. Really sucky summary but the story's good I guess. Don't worry, Puckabrina will last forever! (Chapter One, called You're Cheating on Me!) Now, it'll be a whole bunch of one shots surrounding family life with Puck and Sabrina
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 54 - Words: 55,372 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/27/2014 - Published: 6/5/2014 - Sabrina G., Puck
Illusions by Italian Hobbit reviews
Fíli and Kíli get in a fight, and Fíli stomps off on his own... but when he doesn't return, it's up to Kíli to find him. But something has happened to Fíli, and he no longer seems to be the brother Kíli knows. No slash.
Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 126,739 - Reviews: 1225 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 8/10/2014 - Published: 4/27/2013 - Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dis - Complete
How to Piss off the Warriors Cats 101 by Dragoneh reviews
Funny ways I made up to annoy the warriors cats.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 1,893 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/27/2014 - Published: 7/17/2008
The Queen Has Fallen by vegematarian reviews
Three years after the fallen equalist revolution, Asami has developed a reputation in the tabloids for throwing grand parties for the emerging young socialites of Republic City. After transforming Future Industries back into a trusted company, the young queen of industry had learned how to handle surprises. Or so she thought. Written before book 2 aired so kinda AU.
Legend of Korra - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 70,767 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 5/8/2014 - Published: 9/13/2012 - Asami S., General Iroh - Complete
Not Available by themidnightdriver reviews
Despite her efforts to keep the juice from being spiked at her 18th birthday party, it does and Sabrina gets drunk unknowingly. Of course she just has to get pregnant. Plus, her conscience said that this pregnancy would be fatal for someone, but who? The Sisters Grimm. Rated T.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,941 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/7/2014 - Published: 6/29/2012 - Sabrina G. - Complete
House Arrest by roxypony reviews
Why the Avengers can't have nice things. UPDATED: happy birthday, Fury! They're bringing the party to you.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 44,816 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 501 - Follows: 644 - Updated: 5/22/2013 - Published: 5/6/2012 - Loki
Race Against Time by Italian Hobbit reviews
Kili has decided that Fili needs to learn archery, but a mishap puts Kili's life in grave danger. No slash.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 59,418 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 559 - Follows: 350 - Updated: 4/16/2013 - Published: 1/19/2013 - Thorin, Fili, Kili, Dis - Complete
All Too Well by koalacutie reviews
When Sabrina left Bradley. she happily married Puck and started a family. It seems that everyone forgot about Bradley after that. How did he feel? How did this affect him? Because Bradley really had loved Sabrina...
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,463 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/2/2013 - Complete
Afternoon Love: A FlutterMac Tale by TheGentlecoltAlex reviews
Fluttershy and Big Macintosh are married and live together in a hut on the Apple Family land. One afternoon they get a little frisky in the kitchen. FlutterMac shipping and Clop ...
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,450 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/31/2012 - Big Macintosh, Fluttershy
Here Comes the Bride, Marrying the Wrong Guy by BrownEyes120 reviews
Sabrina is about to marry a normal, handsome, nice guy- Bradley. But will a certain pink-winged fairy be able to save her from herself and the horrible mundane life he knows she doesn't want?
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,328 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 9 - Published: 9/16/2012 - Puck, Sabrina G. - Complete
Time Bomb by MRS.waitforit.STARK reviews
With the Alien invasion over and there literally being no place for the Avengers to stay, the Stark home in Malibu is prepared to house "Earth's Mightiest Hero's." The Avenger's attempt at team chemistry and talking about their feelings.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,298 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 310 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 5/26/2012 - Iron Man/Tony S., Captain America/Steve R.
Love Unexpected by Mademoisella reviews
"How about we have a battle right now?" May smirked and turned her head slightly to the side to face him. "Alright, why not? I'll volunteer us right now." She began to raise her hand, but Drew pulled it back down. "I want to make it more fun, though," he told her, and she cocked an eyebrow at him, urging him to go on. "If you lose, you'll have to travel with me after graduation."
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 204,787 - Reviews: 1313 - Favs: 376 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 7/28/2012 - Published: 10/15/2011 - Drew/Shū, May/Haruka - Complete
A Different Time by shortyguurl reviews
Okie dokes ppl this is the sequel to my sisters grimm story Going Back! It's finally arrived! Umm, Sabrina changed the future and everything is back to normal.... but weird things are happened to her. P.S. Sisters grimm rocks!
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,210 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/19/2012 - Published: 8/3/2008
Absol by Mademoisella reviews
The Absol approachs me, and I slowly back myself up until my back is pressed against a tree. Fear shoots through me when I meet its eyes. Its emerald green eyes. Before I can even utter the name of the guy that they'd once belonged to, it lunges forward. PUT ON HOLD UNTIL REWRITE IS COMPLETE.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,390 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 7/19/2012 - Published: 1/4/2012 - Drew/Shū, May/Haruka
Missions Aside by tricc reviews
Based on the American post-credits scene. Awkward stillness filled the atmosphere as the wounded, bruised, victorious Avengers chewed quietly at the ransacked Shawarma place that Tony Stark had dragged them all to eat at. All Avengers are present in this story. Coulson Lives. Sarcastic remarks, Mockery and Insults are thrown in each character. Funny, Humorous, Comical.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,551 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/9/2012 - Complete
A Day at SHIELD Day Care by Berserker Nightwitch reviews
Phil Coulson loves his job. Even if it does include a little girl far too skilled at hide-n-seek, two tiny geniuses, brothers who wreck entire playgrounds, and a child who enjoys climbing the fridge. And the flag pole. And the cabinets. And all the trees. And the building. And the tetherball pole. And Phil.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,364 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/8/2012 - Agent Phil Coulson - Complete
Let's Pick on Loki by SidneyStrange reviews
AU-ish Crack-fic. Loki is part of the team and Tony decides to air some of his dirty laundry after reading up on Norse mythology. No slash
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 880 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/29/2012 - Loki - Complete
New Beginnings by ahack6 reviews
The third installment to my War and Beyond series. Sabrina and Puck are married and are figuring out how to make a life on their own, without much real experience. But Sabrina's difficult pregnancy with his Everafter baby isn't helping anything! ON HIATUS
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,475 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/22/2012 - Published: 1/7/2012 - Sabrina G., Puck
Kisses by Person95 reviews
A series of one shots all centered on the story of Sabrina and Puck.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,104 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 12/11/2011 - Published: 2/25/2010 - Sabrina G., Puck
His Fingertips Sending a Chill by KlausCarolineLover reviews
Loki/Jane, Loki pays Jane a visit.
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 768 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Published: 11/20/2011 - Loki, Jane F. - Complete
Reproduction by Katta reviews
When Ezri's symbiont goes into a reproductive phase, it brings some wider issues to the surface in regard to her relationship with Julian.
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,942 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Ezri D., J. Bashir
Voices by Glory For Sleep reviews
"We all have our own side to a story, and our own voice to tell it with. To be brave, we have to know we're not alone. To know we're not alone, we have to listen." May/Drew. Book 2 of the "Cadence Of Their Fear" trilogy.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 26 - Words: 76,590 - Reviews: 541 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/8/2011 - Published: 9/11/2010 - May/Haruka, Drew/Shū - Complete
Figure Out Why by Laura Schiller reviews
Garak did not understand why Ziyal loved him, but what if she'd left an explanation behind?
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,304 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/31/2011 - T. Ziyal, E. Garak - Complete
Foeseeker by Foeseeker reviews
TO BE REVISED. Blood can be stronger than iron. Steel can be colder than ice. And love can span oceans, allegiances, and eras and create something greater than anything known. All this and more one squirrelmaid learns as she merely tries to live.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 55 - Words: 162,358 - Reviews: 256 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 5/17/2011 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Complete
The Hunter's Revenge by TheGingerAvenger reviews
Sequel to Choices- Sabrina Grimm's life seems to return back to normal, or as normal as being a fairytale detective can be, until she and Puck find themselves running from a revengeful Bounty Hunter and his demonic dog. Can they survive the night?
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,009 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 5/27/2009 - Complete
Eventide by Scyphi reviews
Her name is Adah Eventide. This the tale of how she got where she is now. And how she came to be punished so... tag to "Warrior of Redwall" please R&R!
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 69,414 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 3/14/2011 - Published: 10/4/2010 - Complete
Tribute by Sara Darkotter reviews
My late tribute to Brian Jacques, the last of the master storytellers.
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 708 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/20/2011 - Complete
Memoriam by Scyphi reviews
Because memories never die.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,275 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Complete
Tribute by Pit Viper of Doom reviews
Welcome home, Mr. Jacques.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 897 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7/2011 - Martin the Warrior
Bittersweet Ending by TheGingerAvenger reviews
Spoilers for the seventh book! Don't read if you haven't read the book! Briar Rose's death shook the whole Grimm family but when a famous wizard offers them a way to bring her back to life will Uncle Jake risk everything to bring her back? PuckxSabrina
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 54,657 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 2/2/2011 - Published: 5/28/2009 - Complete
Until The Sun Dies by Staci-aci-aci reviews
Sabrina is in for the surprise of her life! Rated T for a reason, including adult themed subjects, some steaminess, and cussing. Do not read if overly-sensitive to either of these things. COMPLETE! Winner of Elligoat's "Best of 2010" Contest! :D
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,474 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 1/25/2011 - Published: 8/27/2010 - Sabrina G., Puck - Complete
The Truth About Warriors by Daydreamer897 reviews
A deeper look into the minds and secrets of the Warriors cats. You might be surprised what you find... Rated T for safety.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 35,813 - Reviews: 267 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 7/6/2009
The Reason by BleedingclawForever reviews
One-Shot, Ever since the reveal on the island Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw have been cold to each other. Squirrelflight has tried for many moons to get Brambleclaw to even glance at her. A patrol and some time alone may be just te right thing.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,190 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 9 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Bramblestar, Squirrelflight - Complete
You're Not Sorry by MelodyOfSong526 reviews
Set after Sunrise, before The Fourth Apprentice. Second songfic-inspired by Taylor Swift's You're Not Sorry. They're avoiding each other, but will one encounter in the rain solve their issues?
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 12/31/2010 - Bramblestar, Squirrelflight - Complete
An Imperial Christmas by Red Pen Ninja reviews
Darth Vader loves Christmas. But the Emperor doesn't. What happens when Vader gets invited to the Rebellion Christmas party? Rated T for things that could happen later.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,139 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 12/11/2010 - Darth Vader, Luke S. - Complete
Roen by Zurpel reviews
Roen's story, reaching from the time she first met King Nax to after her affair with Brocker had been found out.
Seven Kingdoms Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,056 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/5/2010 - Published: 8/21/2010 - Roen, Brocker
Notes and Roses by Ninazadzia reviews
Contestshipping. With every year, month, and day that passes, May's feelings for Drew evolve. This is the story of how she first fell for him, and how her feelings quickly blew out of proportion. Reader discretion advised. Pokeshipping/Penguinshipping undertones. *COMPLETE*
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 50,165 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 11/20/2010 - Published: 1/6/2010 - May/Haruka, Drew/Shū - Complete
Four Lost Flowers by Kelaiah reviews
SEQUEL to Four Orphaned Flowers. A ferret searching for a mate. A squirrel searching for her mother. A hare searching for her destiny. And a mouse who is not searching, but running...
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,632 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/25/2010 - Published: 1/21/2010
Redwall Dating Game by Kelaiah reviews
A Gameshow where Redwall characters find dates with each other! PLEASE READ & REVIEW! CHP 4 UP!
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,241 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 1/18/2007
Some Theories on the Death And Torture of Ashfur by Redbane reviews
A hilarious collection of theories on how Ashfur was killed or ways he was tortured. I will take suggestions!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 4,608 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 8/20/2010 - Published: 9/26/2009 - Ashfur
The User's Guide to ANAKIN SKYWALKER by Red Pen Ninja reviews
Congratulations on your purchase of an ANAKIN SKYWALKER unit. Star Wars Store Inc. is not responsible for any injuries, emotional trauma, or death that may occur while using our products. No refunds or return. May the Force buy with you!
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 684 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/20/2010 - Anakin Skywalker - Complete
You're Not Alone by Glory For Sleep reviews
"This thing hunts on fear, Drew. If I'm scared of losing you, then does that mean he'll find me?" May/Drew and Harley/Soledad. Book 1 of the "Cadence Of Their Fear" trilogy.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 26 - Words: 82,351 - Reviews: 500 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 8/17/2010 - Published: 10/20/2009 - May/Haruka, Drew/Shū - Complete
100 Days Without You: 100 Word Challenge by HolaIt'sEmily reviews
Major PuckXBrina. Sequel To Betrayal From Within WHICH YOU MUST READ FIRST! Four years after the Scarlet War, Henry's back, and he's taking as many Grimm's With him as possible. Rated T For some language and MILD Suggestive themes
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 48,741 - Reviews: 451 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 8/4/2010 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Sabrina G., Puck
Warrior of Redwall by Scyphi reviews
A conspiracy to overthrow a leader. A village fighting for its freedom. An enemy like no other attacking an abbey. And one creature caught in the middle of it all...Please R&R!
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 66 - Words: 239,229 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/27/2010 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Complete
Preserving Memories by fluteplayingwizard reviews
Ever wonder what Uncle Jake was thinking as he dealt with Briar Rose's death?
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,900 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Briar, Jacob G./Jake
No Matter What by Ayns and Sky reviews
Epic Puck/Sabrina story with older teen content.Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes. Do NOT read if not suitable, or sensitive. Pre book5, AUish, EPIC. -FINISHED-
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 41 - Words: 387,012 - Reviews: 1986 - Favs: 551 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 5/25/2010 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Sabrina G., Puck - Complete
School Is In Session by secret scraps reviews
The sequel to Jealousy. Puck, Sabrina, and Daphne go to the new school to find out what Mayor Heart is up to. Puck/Sabrina, and a few OC/OC relationships.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,672 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/16/2010 - Published: 6/17/2008
Revelation (OLD) by smileysgoboing reviews
This story is here for sentimental purposes; please read the new version. Katsa discovers her Grace. Oneshot. Complete.
Seven Kingdoms Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Published: 5/15/2010 - Katsa - Complete
Making Memories by Laura Schiller reviews
Julian takes Ezri where no Dax has gone before.
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,842 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/5/2010 - J. Bashir, Ezri D. - Complete
Show Them All by Laura Schiller reviews
Based on "Afterimage". After Garak's and Sisko's verbal attacks, Julian helps Ezri pull herself together.
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,592 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/14/2010 - Ezri D., J. Bashir - Complete
His Hands by CMW2 reviews
She loved his hands. His hands were instruments of comfort and peace.; Companion piece to Her Spots in Ezri's POV;J/E fluff and spice;13th in my 2010 SSS Project
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 658 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/12/2010 - J. Bashir, Ezri D. - Complete
Her Spots by CMW2 reviews
He loved every part of her from her head to her toes but his favorite part of her was her spots. Julian's musings on Ezri;J/E fluff and spice;12th in my 2010 SSS Project
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 711 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/12/2010 - J. Bashir, Ezri D. - Complete
Warriors Use IM! by Do a Barrel Roll reviews
Yeah, this idea has been used before, but not like this! Expect randomness!
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 13,928 - Reviews: 384 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Jayfeather, Lionblaze - Complete
A Padawan's Guide To Fighting Sith by Red Pen Ninja reviews
All Padawans have to know how to fight Sith. It's basically a rule...
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 230 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Published: 3/21/2010 - Complete
The Lady Monster's Secret by luv2read134 reviews
Brigan's talk with Brocker, whn Brocker tells him what Fire really did. One-shot, Fire spoilers.
Seven Kingdoms Trilogy - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 638 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/9/2010 - Complete
Mate Swap by Crowfeather's Dream reviews
Squirrelflight has to switch places with another queen from another Clan, and each queen has to look after the other's mate and kits. For one entire moon. Who will Squirrelflight be switching lives with? Will she survive?
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,414 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 8/20/2007
Bloody Skies Book Three: Apocalypse by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
ThunderClan have survived the fox attack but things aren't going well. Leafpool & Sandstorm are missing & the four have revealed the traitor in the clan. But an old, evil threat is rising and the clans must unite or face annihilation. FS inside R&R 3 of 3
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 68,026 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/19/2009 - Published: 6/30/2009 - Lionblaze, Icecloud - Complete
Kelly's Almost Christmas Special by Kelaiah reviews
A throroughly silly fanfic set to a beloved holiday song.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,457 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Complete
Mother or Monster? by Macey-the-Magical reviews
"She'll open her eyes tomorrow." Cinderpelt's words ring and echo in Brightheart's ears. This phrase would bring joy to most mothers, but it brings fear to her. She fears that her beloved daughter's first sight in the world will be one of a monster... R&R
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 961 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/22/2009 - Brightheart, Whitewing
The Reception by The Literature Dragon reviews
9 years into the future, a wedding, a honey-moon, and a very pregnant Sabrina.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,574 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 11/12/2009 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Puck, Sabrina G.
Bliss by CMW2 reviews
J/E fic. I've always wondered what happened between The Dogs of War and WYLB with these two. What happened between the turbolift and Julian's bed? Here's my spin on it. My first DS9 fic!
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,773 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/31/2009 - J. Bashir, Ezri D. - Complete
Tiger's Dawn Bk 3: Dark Moonlight by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
ON INDEFINITE HIATUS I'M SORRY I WAS UNABLE TO FINISH THIS SERIES BUT I HAVE BEEN SWAMPED BY WAY TOO MANY STORIES. SO SORRY TO ALL OF THE FANS OF THIS SERIES.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,473 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Tigerstar, Feathertail - Complete
Redwall's Next Top Model by Kelaiah reviews
Where 12 female canon characters compete to show that they are the role model for all Redwall female characters.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 32 - Words: 48,561 - Reviews: 351 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 10/6/2009 - Published: 8/18/2007
Losing The Touch by Cookies94 reviews
How Jake and Briar meet whilst the others are in NYC
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,149 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 10/2/2009 - Jacob G./Jake, Briar - Complete
Love and Fear by Jasper's Second Choice reviews
Where there is love, there is always a certain amount of fear...Companion/Continuation of my story "Reflections". J/E. Rating may change in future chapters. Title may also change, currently it's a working title.
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,361 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/24/2009 - J. Bashir, Ezri D.
Warriors Idol, SEASON 2! by Macey-the-Magical reviews
Everyone remembers my story Warriors Idol, right? Well, now it's back with a whole new season, almost all new contestants, and the same old host and judges. And if you haven't read my first Warriors Idol, I suggest you do. ALSO COMPLETE! Thanks again!
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,872 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/24/2009 - Published: 8/18/2009
Home Alone by TitansRule reviews
Kitty visits the Brotherhood after 'Impact' to tell them about Magneto and Mystique and finds herself home alone with her boyfriend. With the mansion's security out, she decides to stay the night. Rated for content. Pure Lancitty fluff, no angst.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,628 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 10 - Published: 7/30/2009 - [Avalanche/Lance A., Shadowcat/Katherine P./Kitty P.] - Complete
Ever After by MuslimBarbie reviews
Zuko and Katara's married years, because happily ever after is vastly over-rated. --Four parts, complete--
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,354 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 7/3/2009 - Published: 6/3/2009 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Bloody Skies Book Two: Fourth of Fire by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
Leafbare has come and Hollyleaf, Jayfeather and Lionblaze know about their parentage. But Bloodclan are still out there, preparing for another strike. And Starclan has revealed a new message, there is a fourth cat coming. But who? FS inside, R&R 2 of 3
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 53,837 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 6/30/2009 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Hollyleaf, Mousewhisker - Complete
I Stand Alone by Auryn Rei Evroren reviews
A Quest for Camelot fanfic. What happened to Garrett before he left Camelot? What impact does his return have? Most importantly, how do Garrett's past, present, and future intertwine?
Quest for Camelot - Rated: K - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,513 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/27/2009 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Kayley, Garrett, OC
Again by Macey-the-Magical reviews
When Tigerclaw walked away from Goldenflower, she thought she wouldn't survive. Now, seasons later, she looks back on what happened and remembers how it used to be, again. Again. Rated K with TigerxGolden and sadness. R&R pleeeez!
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 832 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Goldenflower, Tigerstar
The Last Confrontation by Macey-the-Magical reviews
*SPOILERS FOR SUNSET* Blood has at last spilled blood, and now peace reigns over the four Clans by the lake. But Brambleclaw isn't yet finished, and the ThunderClan deputy has one thing left to face-- his own father. Rated K, with SquirrelxBramble. R&R!
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,055 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/20/2009 - Published: 5/18/2009 - Bramblestar, Tigerstar
If It Were Really That Simple by Yes.I.Ship reviews
Set after May and Drew start dating. Very CS-y. Also lots of fluff
Pokémon - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,239 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/19/2009 - May/Haruka, Drew/Shū
Choices by TheGingerAvenger reviews
When Sabrina Grimm's family is kidnapped it's up to her to get them back. But to do that she has to outsmart a skilled Bounty Hunter, face down monsters, and make the hardest choice of her life.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,883 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/11/2009 - Published: 5/1/2009 - Complete
The Hawkfrost Dating Show by co-to-nuts reviews
Watch - or rather, read - this exciting and dramatic daytime drama: Hawkfrost hitting on any and every she-cat that we can think of. Torture of random characters is guaranteed.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,187 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Hawkfrost
Forgotten: The Story of Goldenflower by StarClan's Nightmare reviews
Loved. Betrayed. Ignored. Controlled. Manipulated. Punished. Seduced. Used. Forgotten. These are the words. This is her life. HIATUS
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,370 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Goldenflower
Mission: Stay in Ferryport Landing by WizKid94 reviews
Sisters Grimm Fanfiction! PuckxSabrina. Sabrina's parents are awake, but then why is Sabrina so upset? Can she figure out a way to keep her and her sister in Ferryport Landing, or will their father rip the sisters away from their destinies?
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,554 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 3/26/2009 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Sabrina G., Puck
Four Orphaned Flowers by Kelaiah reviews
A ferret who is enchanted by the stage. A hare who wishes to join the Long Patrol. A squirrel who seems born to be a dancer. And a mouse, who raised them all, yearns for her uncle to return... and for the one she loves to notice her.
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 52,696 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 2/17/2009 - Complete
Zaran by Scyphi reviews
...Which brought up a new dilemma. She wasn’t quite sure why she hurt all over. In fact, she couldn't remember anything prior to her waking up on her back in the middle of the forest..."
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,289 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/15/2009 - Complete
Warrior High Summertime by GingerFlight reviews
It is summertime for the students at Warrior High! What will they do over the summer? Will Heatherpaw watch more HSM? Will Cinderpaw actually succeed in trying to be a ninja? Will Ravenpaw stop being annoying? Will summertime be normal? R&R plz! HIATUS.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,248 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/27/2009 - Published: 6/19/2008
Weylan's Family by Scyphi reviews
Weylan thought he was the last of his family, but an unexpected discovery in Redwall's records could change all of that... Sequel to "Weylan's Treasure", please R&R!
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 55 - Words: 133,861 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/25/2009 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Complete
Bloody Skies Book One: Dark Sunrise by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
COMPLETE Hollyleaf, Lionblaze and Jayfeather are confused. After Squirrelflight admitted she wasn’t their mother, they don’t know who their parents are or even if they were born in Thunderclan. And no one knows what has happened to Ashfur. 1 of 3 R&R
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 35,789 - Reviews: 261 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 2/9/2009 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Complete
Lies Can Hurt by Ellina Kayde reviews
A new school has been built in Ferryport Landing, and it's expected that Sabrina, Daphne, and even Puck will attend. What isn't expected, however, is new fairytale friends, highly unanticipated jealousy, and, worst of all, an old enemy bent on revenge.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,589 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Sabrina G., Puck
Family Moments by Anawey reviews
A series of snapshots from the married lives of Zuko and Katara, and their kids.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,320 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 12/31/2008 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Zuko, Katara
Tiger's Dawn Bk 2: The Secret Path by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
Tigerclaw is now a warrior, but there are a lot of questions on his mind. Why can't he trust Flamepaw? Why do a lot of cats distrust him? And most of all, who is the voice that keeps calling to him in his head? 2nd in series, please R&R COMPLETE
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 27,094 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 12/22/2008 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Complete
Unwanted Treasure by Sailorjj07 reviews
Katara is pregnant. The father? Zuko. Fights, tears, lies, and a near death experience all before the baby is born too? It's enough to make any pregnant woman go mad. You know you want to read and find out. Mostly T, one M chappy, will change if need be.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 45,799 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 11/25/2008 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
How to Annoy Heroes and Influence Villains by Gulo The Cabbage reviews
A whole lot of ways to make your favorite Redwall heroes get bloodwrath
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,698 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/21/2008 - Published: 11/7/2008
Seashells by Frizz the Eccentric reviews
Memories are like seashells. Little stories about the Bashirs
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 5,461 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/8/2008 - Published: 8/29/2007 - J. Bashir, Ezri D.
Wacky Chatroom by The Awesomeness of Moosey reviews
I know this ain't my idea, so please don't bug me. Firestar is chasing butterflies, Jaypaw is emo, Graystripe wants a divorce with Millie, and Lionpaw is obsessed with milkshakes. What will happen when clan cats go on Wacky Chatroom?
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,287 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/8/2008 - Published: 8/28/2007
Family by bananacosmicgirl reviews
They’ve been together for four years and now Rikki has something to tell Zane. A five-part series dealing with Rikki and Zane starting a family. Zane/Rikki.
H2O: Just Add Water - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,540 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 9/4/2008 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Rikki C., Zane B. - Complete
Daughter of the Borderer by teppygirl reviews
Melanda, daughter of warrior squirrel Rakkety Tam, longs to become a great warrior like her father. She doesn't think this can ever happen until a gang of foxes threaten her happy home of Redwall. Please, please review.
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,113 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/30/2008 - Published: 6/7/2008
Lovesick by DragonWinged reviews
Farid at twenty two and Meggie at eighteen....Please R&R!
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,927 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/16/2008 - Published: 1/21/2008
Boyfriend by behappyandlove reviews
“God Lance, I’m so sorry. It was stupid. I mean I don’t think it’s stupid. I really do like you a lot. I promise, I’ll tell him. I’ll tell everyone that it was my mistake, and that you’re not mm—“ Lancitty. Read&Review. One-Shot.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,573 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/23/2008 - Avalanche/Lance A., Shadowcat/Katherine P./Kitty P. - Complete
KITS ARE SCARY! by Peridot Tears reviews
Oneshot. Leafkit and Squirrelkit have something very important to ask their father...
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 488 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Firestar - Complete
growing up by monthlyobstionest reviews
a sisters grimm fan fic sabrina/puck. the storie of them falling in love with each other and having wild and crazy adventers along the way.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,147 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 6/10/2008
Going Back by shortyguurl reviews
Sabrina realizes that she will do anything to wake up her parents. Suddenly, she is presented with the perfect solution, but will she take it?... Just a little Sisters Grimm story!
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,199 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/18/2008 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Complete
Tigers Dawn Bk 1: The Tiger, The Flame by Above the Winter Moonlight reviews
“Flames burning and tigers prowling, two will clash, of good and evil, and peace will come at last” This story follows Tigerstar as he is reborn good into Thunderclan. Full summary inside pretend TNP hasnt happened yet pleaz R&R 1st in series COMPLETE
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 18,956 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Complete
Jealousy by secret scraps reviews
Puck is jealous of Peter Pan when he becomes best friends with Sabrina and thinks they are romantically involved. Puck/Sabrina.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,220 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 6/16/2008 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Complete
Winter's Flowers by warrior4 reviews
Rose is alive, betrothed to Martin, and along with Columbine kidnapped by vermin. Sequel to A Mask and A Song. If this is your first time clicking on this story, please read A Mask and A Song first. Thanks.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 38 - Words: 169,314 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 5/29/2008 - Published: 11/1/2007 - Martin the Warrior, Laterose - Complete
A New Relationship by alex.jh.14 reviews
This is a story all about Puck and Sabrina. Puck and Sabrina are going on a trip with the family and they confess to eachother that they love eachother. Read to find out! There will be more chapters.
Sisters Grimm - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,168 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Puck, Sabrina G. - Complete
StarClan Idol by Mistystream Sootfur's Loyalty reviews
The origanal WarriorsAmericanIdol crossover. Just like the Tv show, but with the warrior Clans! Leaders are judges. Hosted by and dedicated to Sootfur. Will Hawkfrost take over the show? Will Sootfur remain the host? Who will be the next StarClan Idol?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 57,344 - Reviews: 475 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 9/18/2006
Desire by DragonWinged reviews
Farid and Megggie a two or three years after inkspell. The first chapter's a lemon, but not all of it will be like that. Characters belong to Cornelia Funke, and please review.
Inkheart - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,075 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 13 - Published: 4/20/2008
Sleepover Clan cats Disaster by Cookies and Cream Fan reviews
Squirrelflight, Tawnypelt, Mothwing, and Heatherpaw decided to have a sleepover in each of the clans. What happens? Disaster and doom to all toms!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 6,594 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/24/2008 - Published: 12/21/2007
I Am That Is by Scyphi reviews
When Martin and Gonff are trapped in a partically collapsed room together for some time, Martin begins to have odd visions, and more than one secret is revealed... One shot, please R&R.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,601 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/24/2008 - Complete
Weylan's Treasure by Scyphi reviews
When Matthias falls deathly ill, Mattimeo faces the prospect of becoming the next Redwall Champion far sooner than he had thought. To top it off, an otter comes to Redwall, looking for help to find a treasure that a vermin horde wants... Please R&R!
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 38 - Words: 76,979 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/24/2008 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Complete
My, How The Time Flies by PrattlingPrincess reviews
Sisters Grimm - Henry and Veronica Grimm wake up three years after they were kidnapped. How do they deal with their daughters, and all the changes they've missed? Very slight Sabrina/Puck
Misc. Books - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,738 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 31 - Published: 2/22/2008
A Mask and a Song by warrior4 reviews
Noonvale is under threat from the silent slaver Rassk the Mask. The valley's only hope though swore long ago to leave and never return.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,227 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/28/2007 - Published: 10/4/2007 - Martin the Warrior - Complete
Ask Hawkfrost by Divine Contemplation reviews
Yet another Ask Whoever story. I do have xXFlamingAssasinXx's permission, so now, the moment we've all been waiting for... drumroll please ASK HAWKFROST!
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 6,681 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/4/2007 - Published: 7/17/2007
The Claws of a Lion Original by Rainwhisker Luv reviews
Ever since he was a kit Lionpaw was expected to be like Brambleclaw. Strong, smart, loyal and all that. But he’s nothing like him. He’s fallen for a WindClan apprentice and is being pressured by Tigerstar. Which path will he choose? The path of loyalty or
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 15,298 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/26/2007 - Published: 7/7/2007 - Complete
Traitor by The Twitcherz reviews
My name is Ashfur, and I betrayed ThunderClan. [oneshot]
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,951 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 15 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Complete
Moonlight by Littlewhisker reviews
[after Sunset]SUNSET SPOILERS!What happened when ThunderClan found out that Firestar lost a life or two, his deputy was there, and killed his half brother?And what happened to Graystripe?What I think could happen between Sunset and The Sight.DISCONTINUED!
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,804 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 5/22/2007 - Published: 12/28/2006 - Complete
Scribble Scrabble Dribble Drabble :P by iZutara reviews
Psst, past this on! Zutara drabbles, songfics, and oneshots to waste your day away. Why Zutara? Because zutara is cool. Includes Taang, Tylokka, and Sokkue. From aprons to storytime and babies, everything goes. changed title, i know
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 15,938 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/26/2007 - Published: 1/3/2007 - Zuko, Toph
Survivor: Redwall by Catty Engles reviews
Survivor has always gone to great lengths to bring you the most interesting bunch of people... but now we bring you the beasts. Help your favorite character win!
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,725 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/24/2006 - Published: 3/11/2004
The Zutara Family by Meet Me Halfway reviews
Following the struggles of Katara and Zuko as they have a family of nine kids and Zuko decides with his taking the throne...
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 28,583 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/12/2006 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Katara, Zuko
The Detour by RedHal reviews
AU. On their way back to Redwall after finding out about Luke, Martin, Gonff, and the others take a detour through Noonvale where they find out that Rose is alive. Rated higher just to be safe
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,083 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/16/2006 - Published: 7/9/2006 - Complete
Shh, Don't tell them that 'I Do' by Rachel A. Prongs reviews
Harry and Hermione got married in secret. What if the secret got out? [Challenge from Portkey. Pre OotP & HBP]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,272 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 61 - Published: 4/9/2006 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
No Good Way by Lavender Gaia reviews
After the events of No Good Deed, Lance and Kitty have a chance to talk. Lancitty. Oneshot.
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,614 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/28/2005 - Shadowcat/Katherine P./Kitty P., Avalanche/Lance A. - Complete
Of Warriors and Pudding by Lady Storm reviews
[EDITED & COMPLETE] It's back, meaner, uglier, and as tasteless as ever! Join Martin on his quest to avenge his pudding, and chase Gonff around Mossflower with a cellphone and chandelier. Now with 50 percent more stupidity!
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,155 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 15 - Updated: 7/11/2005 - Published: 11/23/2003 - Complete
The Love I Live For by Pattenrond2 reviews
Harry and Hermione have been married for a year and are expecting their first child. Everything is going great until Harry is kidnapped by Deatheaters. There is only one thing that keeps him alive...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 27,565 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/7/2005 - Published: 7/16/2003 - Hermione G., Harry P.
The Northern Star by Stardust-Memory reviews
This fic is set during The Taggerung before Lord Russano arrives at Redwall to mourn the passing of his nurse Cregga, his hares discover a maid of unknown orgin and here is her tale
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,020 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 4/7/2005 - Published: 1/20/2005
The Mask: A Story Untold by saber-otter reviews
Mystery shrouds the life of the gray otter who was master of disguises in Mossflower. This tale tells the story of Mask, known as Riverwyte in his younger days. UPDATE: 11-18-04 Last chapter (19) is up! Thanks to all who have left such kind comments!
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 14,119 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/18/2004 - Published: 7/10/2004
Harry's Princess by MiLy Salas reviews
Harry and Hermione are happily married and about to have a wonderful surprise. Very sweet and tender I promise and it's only one-shot. Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,395 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/8/2004 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Arm Not Alas Sand by Draconicality reviews
The death of Lord Sunstripe, or Sunflash the Mace. A rewrite of my earlier fic. R&R?
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/19/2003
Good For You by melissarxy1 reviews
FINISHED Starts with Prom, not much more that I can say, Lancitty & Romy R&R Please
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 19,120 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/5/2003 - Published: 7/8/2003 - Avalanche/Lance A., Shadowcat/Katherine P./Kitty P. - Complete
Darth Vader goes to Therapy by keekum reviews
Darth Vader is quite concerned about the dark path his life has taken. He is tired of being mean, and he is sick of his crazy family problems. What is his last resort? Therapy.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,137 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/26/2003 - Published: 6/23/2003
Blue Flame - Book 1: The Declaration by CNell reviews
Post-WYLB, J/E. During an official visit to the Trill homeworld, an obscure ritual will reveal a potential that Ezri Dax never realized she possessed – and a madman will stop at nothing to exploit it. (FINAL chapters added 12/27/01))
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,876 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/27/2001 - Published: 12/15/2001
This Time Is Different by SpacedOutAnna reviews
Pure J/E fluff, written on a lazy Sunday night. Julian muses after a shift.
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,174 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/17/2001 - Published: 7/9/2001
The Changing of the Seasons & the Tides of the Sea by NorthernStar reviews
Kira faces the toughest challenge of her life letting go of the O'Brien's child...
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,378 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Published: 10/28/2000 - Kira N., M. O'Brien - Complete
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The Darkness of Power reviews
Celestia is dead, murdered in her own castle. Luna, desperate for revenge, is raging war on Equestria. People are dying everywhere. All because Twilight fell to the darkness of power. HUMANIZED
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,911 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/27/2013 - Published: 12/8/2013 - Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Princess Luna/Nightmare Moon
Granny Smith Got Run Over By A Reindeer reviews
Christmas is a time for family. Or getting into a fight with a reindeer if you're Granny Smith.
My Little Pony - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,442 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/27/2013 - Applejack, Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, Applebloom - Complete
Stars and Spots: Book Two reviews
Sometimes you have to fight to get your happy ending, and you don't always win. Sometimes a friendship can change, and not always for the better. Sometimes when things seem like they can't get any worse, it does. But there's always that light in life that makes you keep going. R&R!
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 29,846 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 4/27/2013 - J. Bashir, Ezri D., Thirishar C.
Stars and Spots: Book One reviews
Even on a space station, love is never easy. Ezri and Julian attempt to build a life together, no matter what odds they may face. Will they get their happily ever after? Meanwhile, a former soldier with a violent history tries to find her peace. Can she cope with this post-Dominion world? R&R!
StarTrek: Deep Space Nine - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 35,798 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 4/26/2013 - Published: 12/22/2012 - J. Bashir, Ezri D. - Complete
Catch Me When I Fall reviews
This was supposed to be a happy time, where May and Drew could be together. But now... Everything's taken a turn for the worse, and they have no idea how to fix it. But as long as they have each other, everything will be okay.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,454 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 10/5/2012 - Published: 3/24/2012 - Drew/Shū, May/Haruka
Remember reviews
In memory of Brian Jacques. A little late, but it's the thought that counts.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 145 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/19/2011 - Complete
Dark Forest Meetings reviews
These are short stories about what happens when a creature dies. I know the summary sucks, I know. If you have any ideas, let me know. No flames! R&R!
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,839 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/16/2011 - Published: 6/5/2008
Return To Noonvale reviews
The warriors that fought at Marshank have returned to Noonvale, bringing with them new friends and old ones. They also bring home the saddest of news. An epilouge to Martin the Warrior. Flames will burn down Mossflower. R&R!
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,503 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/23/2010 - Brome - Complete
Broken Tears reviews
It's been one season since Gulo the Savage attacked Redwall. Mossflower is peaceful again. But when a vermin hoard arrives to seek revenge on Redwall's Champion, will Redwall prevail? A Rakkety Tam FanFic. R&R!
Redwall - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,654 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/21/2010 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Complete
Jocasta's Pain reviews
Can't really think of a good summary. Basically it's a poem about how Jocasta died. Enjoy!
Oedipus the King - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 200 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/11/2010 - Complete
Darkheart's Journey reviews
Back in the Old Forest, a ShadowClan kit was found on the Thunderpath and taken in by ThunderClan, She is now Darkheart and longs to know more about her past. Will her findings destroy the Clans? Flames will be used to burn the forest. R&R!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,394 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 7/15/2009
StarClan Meetings reviews
These are short stories about what happens when cats go to StarClan. Flames will be flushed down the toliet! Let me know if you have any ideas. R&R!
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,005 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/9/2010 - Published: 9/27/2008
My Lost Love reviews
You remember in "Redwall" how the rats stole Martin's tapestry? Well, here's what I think happened during that time. Martin/Rose. R&R!
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Martin the Warrior, Laterose - Complete