SlashGashTerrorWhore
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Joined 05-07-08, id: 1570505, Profile Updated: 07-30-12

Hello there. I suppose you want to know something about me. Why else would you be on my profile? Well lets do this in a organized list,shall we.

Name: Jennifer. I'm open to other names too though..Just not Jenny..ick

Age: I'm a teenager. That's all you need to know.

A little about me: I'm just an everyday girl. I sleep, I breath, I cry. And sometimes I talk to shadow puppets on my wall. But that's a different story.

Other: Hmm, I'm not sure. I guess other then what you already know the only thing you should know is music is what keeps me sane. It's why I can face everyday with a brave face. That's all I guess. :)

Okay, I would just like to say that I made this profile when I was maybe..14? I'm 17 now. 3 years has changed so much about me..Well, not really..but I am a hell of a lot more mature than I was when I made this..not really..BUT I've grown into a more mature, immaturity..if that makes sense :P


COPY AND PASTE THINGYS

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door marked pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a four letter word, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself post this in your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If, for any particular reason, you have laughed during a movie that wasn't funny, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the fun of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up and/or down the stairs copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are against child abuse, you should copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door,copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air,copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abercrimbie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath.Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their ass off.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

Put this on your profile if your still 5 years old inside.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in.If you're part of the 5 percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your file.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind.If you would be one of the few people that would answer, ''Where to begin?"Copy this into your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how of key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when some one asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this into your profile.

65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then reading ,if you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever spent too much money at Barnes and Noble, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever just wanted to slap someone, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things in your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs and never will, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of the American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak, if you are part of the 7 percent who would ask the person ''What was your first clue?", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious, snobby people please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are against animal cruelty put this in your profile.

If you get too excited for books, movies, etc. to come out copy and paste this in your profile.

If you feel the need to read through someone's profile even when you don't know them, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you read people’s profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you are in the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever seen a movie or read a book so many times that you can quote it word for word, and do so at random moments, copy and past this to your profile.

If you believe some teachers are seriously prejudiced, copy an paste this in your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you, copy and paste this.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune.

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If several inanimate objects just seem to hate you (stupid keyboard!) copy and paste this to your profile.

If you agree that 90 percent of politics are dumb, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against any kind of abuse, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wanted to slap someone, but restrained yourself, congratulations, and copy and paste this to your profile.


1. Find a globe. Spin it. What does it say?

I have no globe here...

2. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say?

Billy's...

3. What can you hear right now?

Offspring-Pretty fly for a white guy...

4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.

Me-Kitty!!

My cat-Meow(glares at me hatefully)

Me-Why do you hate me so much!

5. Turn on T.V. What show is on?

Spongebob Squarepants...

6. Type your name with your elbow.

jenbnbifcer...

7. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes.What's the first thing you see?

My bed...

8. If you could be anybody from Twilight, who would you be?

Alice(Jasper shall be mine!)

9. What happened last time you were typing on this computer?

My step-mom sent me some stupid wink on IM...

10. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell?

alfknbis(what a surprise...it spells nothing!)


If you have ever had an unhealthy obsession with any -or all- of the Cullens and you don’t want to admit it even though you know admitting a problem is the first step to solving it but frankly you don't want the problem to be solved, copy this onto your profile

If you love Edward Cullen, copy this onto your profile

If you support the ’MECBIAV-Make Edward Change Bella Into A Vampire Club’, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would kill to become one, copy this onto your profile

If you’ve read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse over four times, copy this onto your profile

If you haven’t "died" but want to, copy this onto your profile

If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now ever your parents are afraid of you because of the results, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tried to block your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Anthony Mason Cullen is from said gorgeous Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this onto your profile

If you have Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse memorized, copy this onto your profile

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullens Including Bella Disorder

AV is Addicted to Vampires

Boys are like slinkies.Useless, but still VERY fun to watch fall down stairs.

If you are planning on mobbing Stephenie Meyer’s publisher because you want Breaking Dawn NOW, copy this onto your profile and get your pitchforks

If you’re hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE

If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren’t real, copy this onto your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile

If whenever you see a sliver Volvo you run down the street screaming, "EDWARD!", copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers, do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.


I wear black so I must be a Goth.

I'm young so I must be naive.

I have good grades, so I must be a Nerd.

I love animals so I must become the crazy old cat lady.

I get depressed so I must be Emo.

I'm blonde so I must be an idiot.

I'm religious, so I must shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm Native American, so I must be a savage.

I'm a white girl, so I must be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm pretty, so I must not be a virgin.

I have straight A's, so I must be easy.

I'm a virgin, so I must be prude

I'm a girl who actually eats lunch, so I must be fat.

I'm single, so I must be ugly.

I'm Christian, so I must hate homosexuals.


If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.


Am I breathing still?

I really can't tell

When life gives you lemons, you go for the kill.

Is that how it goes?

Is that how it is?

I think things while my breathing slows.

Did somebody see?

Did somebody scream?

Nobody really cares about me.

Why did I do it?

Do I care?

About people who treated my life like they own it?

If you think suicide should be stopped, paste this on your profile.


My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else I'm locked up

All day long.

When I'm awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!" I scream,

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While I lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

If you believe child abuse is wrong, copy and paste this into your profile


HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"
--IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG... REPOST THIS--

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Jasper from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Emmett from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that losers either hate or don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

If you truly belive that their is a Jasper Cullen out there for you (doesn't mean his name has to be Jasper Cullen) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your pro.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever messed something up on purpose while playing telephone copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you ever wondered who made up all of the 'copy this into your profile' things then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Jasper is better than Edward copy and paste this into your profile.

If you wish you were Alice Cullen copy and paste this into your profile.

If you plan to name your kids Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Rosalie, or Emmett copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever been called weird because you typed OMC instead of OMG copy and paste this into your profile

If someone you know tells you to go to therapy because you are so obsessed with Twilight copy & paste this into your profile.

If you have ever passed notes in class when you are allowed to talk copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrolably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you can't stand it when people spell Masen, Emmett, Swan, or any other name that has anything to do with the Cullens wrong copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.(i love vampires!this is on my pro like 3 times)

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turky Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. (Edward Cullen is bringing sexy back!)

If people mistake you for a vampire ... cough or you are one cough... copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot copy and paste this onto your profile

If you and your best friends are insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to man coughorwomancoughcough...copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

A Salute to High School Musical:

On January 20th, 2006, a movie came out. It wasn't just any Disney movie but High School Musical. on top of having a cast of fresh, talented, (and hot) stars (like Zac Efron) , it had a decent message and songs that were contagious. The movie was in fact so big, it went world wide, topped the charts, won awards, and even had teachers singing the songs. It touched the hearts and souls of countless people around the world and racked in tons of money for Disney in the form of two DVDs, a soundtrack, posters, shirts, bags, and not to mention more pubclicity. High School Musical... some may say it's childish to like a Disney movie so much, but i think not. I'm proud to say i loved the movie, and would like to say Happy One Year Anniversary HSM. If you're a High School Musical fan and proud, copy this and paste it, or at least show some appreciation

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

F-r-e-e that spells FREEcreditreport.com baby!...if you love those commercials copy&paste into your pro!

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile!

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you believe that the government should make levees, not war, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and paste this into your profle.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.(mine looks a lot like willy wonkas chocolate factory :)

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you thought that the Eragon Movie really sucked because it was hardly like the book, copy this into your profile.

Come over to the good side, we have Edward Cullen and chocolate!!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!


The Jonas Brothers.

I definatley DON'T apprciate people tearing them down. So what, they've changed. I'm sure you have to. But, hey...Their personalitys are still the same, sure they changed their looks and stuff, but their still the same sweet boys on the inside as they always have been. If you are one of these people who think they've changed, then your not a true fan. Yes, Nick hit puberty, so his voice changed, it didn't change his personality. Yes, Joe's hair is longer and he dresses different, he's still the same Joseph Jonas he has been. Yes, Kevin's hair is longer also, he dresses slightly different, but he's still the sweetest Jonas' boy of them all. Your hurting them BADLY by saying you don't like the new them, would you like it if you were famous and people were all, "I don't like them, they've changed!" NO, didn't think so. It's frustrating the freaking crap out of me. They still make great music, their still adorable, they still love their loyal fans they have, their NOT full of it like most celebs, and they still have the same personality's they've had these past 4 1/2 years!It breaks my heart to see their fans tearing them apart, they've thanked you and loved you and so much more and you say negative crap? That's messed up. I am beyond pissed at all you people that call yourselves "fans" because of their looks. Your NOT a fan, unless you can state almost every fact about them, LOVE their music, and just love them all together for the outstanding personalities. I have not met one boy like them in my whole life, their sweet, honest, and full of life. You may not notice your hurting them, but their people to and have feelings just like the rest of us. So think before you open your fucking mouth and talk shit about them. That's all I have to say. Agree with me, ADD THIS TO YOUR PAGE THEN!

ORIGIANLLY CREATED BY DADDYSGIRL4EVERAND4ALWAYS1212


Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Emmett Cullen is a MelonHead. Accept it.

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

"Well...I decided as long as I was going to hell, I may as well do it throughly."-Edward Cullen,Twilight

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Hello Beautiful,
It's 7:05, here in Australia, so please Hold On while I explain to you what happens When You Look Me In The Eyes. In Year 3000, you would be What I Go To School For and I'd always say Nick J Is Off The Chain because That's Just The Way We Roll. Now I'd Appreciate it if you Don't Tell Anyone, but I've got this Crazy Kind Of Crush On You, You Just Don't Know It. I wish I could trade places with Mandy just for 6 Minutes because I know we would be Inseparable, and then I could just Move On like the Games they play in Hollywood. But deep down Im Still In Love With You. I dont wanna be Just Friends. I know I may be the Underdog in this situation, but I Am What I am! I've been sending out S.O.S's hoping you'd help out some Poor Unfortunate Souls because I Wanna Be Like You. Now I know we're talking about the Kids Of The Future and it seems like it just may be Eternity before "Oh Jonas Brothers, Please Be Mine", but we can always take One Day At A Time. Now it is Time For Me To Fly, so Goodnight and Goodbye! Put this on your page if you love the Jonas Brothers!

If you added words such as Volterra, Aro, Volturi, etc. to your dictionary (copy and paste this to your profile)

If you ever really thought you might go Emo if someone payed you enough money (copy and paste this to your profile)

EMO kids have cool hair.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Music is love in search of word.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.(why can't you be real Jasper why!!)

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

If you believe that preps travel in packs then place this on your profile.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?

A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

When you fall: A friend helps you up; a best friend keeps walking and says,"Walk much dumbass?"

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have

There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.

Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.

Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Boys that make you cry aren't worth crying over; boys that are worth crying over won't make you cry.

Your a great friend but when the zombies start chasing us i'm tripping you.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your nec k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

He Said:

I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said:

You wear pants don't you?

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn

YOUTUBE myspace and I'll Google your YAHOO

I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again

Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way

My heart is not a playground

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.

If a guy with Vampiric beauty ever asked you out, would you say yes? if so (copy and paste this to your profile)

my hands smell like freaking peanut butter! I HATE PEANUT BUTTER!! HELP ME! If you hate PB too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you've ever locked yourself out of a house...on purpose.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile. (or Geek)

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

IF YOU MAKE RANDOM FISHY FACES AT PEOPLE YOU DON'T KNOW COPY AND PASTE THIS IS YOU PRO

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profileIf you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you ran down an "Up" escalator, copy this into your profile.

If you noticed that the Kim Possible movie, So the Drama, has the initials, STD, which also stands for Sexually Transmitted Disease, and find that very creepy, copy this into your profile.

If you're easily confussed or confuzzled add this to your profile

If you've ever misspelled "the" on either your keyboard, or a paper, or both, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile.

If you've ever spent a long amount of time looking for something that you were holding/wearing, copy this to your profile

If you hear voices in your head and know that they are real put this on your profile.

If you wish you could just pop in and out of your favorite stories, changing the storyline as you go along to fit your own agenda, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe that there are actually worlds and worlds of life beyond what we read in books, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever slapped coughbeatenupcough a person, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends are the weirdest people in any world out there, copy this onto your profile

If you say a random words for no particular reason when people are least expecting it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy this into your profile.

If you measure the distance between destinations in hours, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have an annoying younger--or older--sibling, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Whoever said, "Nothing's impossible," never tried slamming a revolving door.

Being mature is overrated.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip 'n slide!

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!

Whose cruel idea was it to put "S" in the word "Lisp"?

A Real Boyfriend

When she stares at your mouth

Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you

Grab her and dont let go

When she starts cursing at you tryin to act all tuff

Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet

Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you

Give her your attention

When she pulls away

Pull her back

When you see her at her worst

Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying

Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking

Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared

Protect her

When she steals your favorite hat

Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you

Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time

reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt

Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you

SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN YOU COULD UNDERSTAND!

When she grabs at your hands

Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you;

bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret

keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes

dont look away until she does

When she says it's over

she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin

she wants you to read it

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her

- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid.

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes.

- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

- Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain.

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :

Call you.

Kiss you.

Love you.

Text you.

Guys post as: "I'd be this Boyfriend."

Girls post as: "A real Boyfriend."

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

You know you're in love with Edward Anthony Masen Cullen if:

You forget that you are quoting Edward or Bella, but do it anyway.

You pray every night for Edward Cullen to show up in your life.

You walk into doors because you were thinking about Edward Cullen

You go into uncontrollable fits of laughter whenever you think about him.

You get butterflies in your stomach because you are just so incredibly crazy
about him.

You talk about him so much that your friends get mad at you.

You made the Twilight Movie Poster your background on your computer so you
can look at Edward whenever you want

When you do look at that picture, you find yourself out of breath or giggling
uncontrollably.

Your dad thinks you are absolutely nuts for loving a vampire.

You explain to everyone that Edward is a good vampire and you want to be just
like him.

You have the picture of Edward on your cell phone and you show it to
everybody.

When you show it to your mother and she says,"Oh my Gosh, he has a face!"

You have 'I love Edward Anthony Masen Cullen' on your cell phone banner.

You doodle I love Edward on your binders and don't really realize you did
it.

You have dreamt about Edward at least one time in your life.

You get mad when someone says that they don't like Edward and like Jacob
instead

You get upset whenever you watch Harry Potter because you think Edward will
get mad at you.

You cry watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire because you forget to remind yourself that Cedric just died, not Edward.

You are looking at all of these and laughing and nodding or saying,"Yep,
that's me."

You freaked out when you found out that Citrine/Topaz is your birthstone. (It's November!)

You get mad when people say they haven't read the book.

You constantly have mini anxiety attacks.

You think about Edward and you
begin to get anxious to find out what happens in the next book.

If you have done any of these, copy and paste it to your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five some body and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it would be hilarious to see Bella beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match, put this in your profile.


You know you're a 90's kid when...

You can finish this 'ice ice _'

You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.

when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.

You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

. . . Furbies

Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.

And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

Lambchop's song never ended.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!

You remember Highlight's magazine.

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . .

Before the Internet & text messaging . . .

Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .

Before MIKE JONES . . .

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .

Before Spongebob . . .

Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.

When gameboy was a brick.

You did MASH to figure out your future

When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.

Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!

Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .


If you have ever suppressed the urge to shout "Your mum!" at some random time in your life, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like cheese, put this in your profile.

If you believe that over half of all you say/write/think doesn't come out right and is complete stupidity, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are getting tired of this extremely long profile, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you don't do drugs, copy/paste this into your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you are a member of the unofficial Jasper Whitlock Hale Fangirl Club, copy and paste this into your profile. (yay Jasper!)

If you think Jasper is an emo vampire (really HOT emo vampire)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if you read through all that well congrats to you!


(OMG!! THERES MORE)

My profile is 31 evil 69 good!how does yours rank?

kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted


10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

Kay this is really the end...or is it?


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Notes with Alice, Bella & The Cullens by lanna-misssunshine reviews
Who are Batman & Pigeon? Emmett is Captain Doofus? What are the Cullen's irrational fears and why oh why does Jasper have a spoon in his pocket? (Kind of weird, read the summary in the a/n inside, it gets back to BxE normal note passing after a few chapters, promise.)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 95 - Words: 111,014 - Reviews: 4393 - Favs: 794 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 10/3/2007
The Cookie by Imaginary1.x reviews
Why Does Bella Have a Traumatized look on her face? Why Does She Have A Giant Cookie? And why is Carlisle Trying to Shut Her Up? Read & Review. Some Of them OCC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,299 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 8/12/2012 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Bella
Boxes of Chocolates by NoThisIsNotChelz reviews
AU: Charlie is abusive. Edward and Bella go to the same school. What happens when Edward falls in love...and what about Bella? And if Edward and Bella fall in love what happens to Charlie? Very Twisted in a GREAT way! Rated M for abuse!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 34,741 - Reviews: 768 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 344 - Updated: 8/8/2012 - Published: 2/13/2008
Notes Galore! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
What happens when you mix a very hyper Bella, a pad of paper and a pen? THIS! Baisiclly, the Cullen's start passing note instead of talking. Very random, very, very OOC. Very funny. So, please read and reveiw.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 121 - Words: 40,684 - Reviews: 2742 - Favs: 394 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
Uprising by jasperskitty reviews
Story begins five months after Bella's birthday party. Jasper returns. What will he find? J/B story. Lemons in the future.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 160,851 - Reviews: 1302 - Favs: 1,017 - Follows: 1,084 - Updated: 12/26/2010 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Jasper, Bella
Notes with Bella and the Cullens by Swagcat reviews
random arguments between the Cullen family. Who knew one little piece of paper and some pens could cause so much trouble? and not to mention fun. Second fanfic the other one's Finally finished R&R please!.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 10,200 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/4/2010 - Published: 10/11/2007
Superbia by nia-ox reviews
Third instalment of the Deadly Sins series. Bella gains a new power that turns her lives - past and present - upside down. Can she survive, after Edward has left and her love is jeopardized, when war approaches? Rated M for very sensitive subjects that could be a trigger for some
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 41 - Words: 77,818 - Reviews: 962 - Favs: 377 - Follows: 296 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Wonderland Poem by SakuraStar12 reviews
Bored one day in art class so I wrote a poem based on the new Alice in wonderland movie.Please Review!
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 76 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/8/2010 - Complete
Dear Mr Diary by LethalxLilly reviews
Emmett has a diary? Well this could only mean one thing: Emmett likes to journal. And it triggers random crazy events. Like Dora, christmas tree Alice, Sky Dieing, singing, blowing things up and the such. :D Rated Q for mass destruction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 65 - Words: 38,274 - Reviews: 895 - Favs: 281 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 12/15/2007 - Complete
Holy Crow, My Soul Mate Glitters! by Velvet Liquor reviews
When Bella Swan meets sparkly Edward Cullen, her life turns upside down. As she falls deeply in love with the boy she met only two days ago, she realizes love *COUGH*lust*COUGH* always comes with a heavy price to pay, including hungry hobo vampires.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,660 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/8/2009 - Published: 5/11/2008
Passing Notes with the Cullens and Bella! by Jaspersonlymistress reviews
I think the title pretty much sums it up!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 29 - Words: 6,925 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 11/12/2007
Funny Notes with Bella and the Cullens by meghanlundy reviews
What happens with a piece of paper and some pens mixed with the Cullens and... Bella! So many random things!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 3,300 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/18/2009 - Published: 7/10/2008
Do it NOW! by heartsandroses reviews
Bella starts off just trying to get her sexy vampire boyfriend to make love to her, but when things take a turn for the worst how will Bella and Edward handle it? RxR please
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 39,725 - Reviews: 416 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Edward, Bella
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2796 - Favs: 570 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
Notes With Bella and The Gang! by dot823 reviews
Random notes in the Twilight Universe with Bella, the Cullens, and more! They are TOTALLY OOC. ExB JxA ExR CxE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 103 - Words: 61,301 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 2/5/2009 - Published: 12/16/2007 - Complete
Breaking Dawn Parody by Permanent Rose reviews
A Breaking Dawn Parody. What more can I say?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,373 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Amun, Didyme
Random Notes With The Cullens! by MoonsilverTwilight reviews
Ok, this is basically just a random note-passing story. I got bored one day, so I decided to write it. It's quite stupid, so don't be surprised if it doesn't make any sense at all whatsoever. R&R! XD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,682 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 2/23/2008
what to do with Mike Newton by jealousofbella12 reviews
what happens when a note about the cullens ends up in the hands of Mike Newton. Funny.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,528 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/16/2009 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Complete
Strange Happenings In The Town of Forks by TeamJempwarth reviews
The crazy things that the Cullens, Bella, and other characters do in the small town of Forks. Completely OOC. Funny though. Rated T for crude humor. :3
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 21,479 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/13/2009 - Published: 5/23/2008
Catch the Wind by Savannahbobanna reviews
Axelle is seventeen, but her parents still haven't told her their secret. A new kid at school catches Axelle's fancy. When all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place, Axelle has some big choices to make. Part three to the Twist of Fate Series.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 56,324 - Reviews: 802 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 12/31/2008 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Complete
Veggie Tales Theme TWILIGHT STYLE! by RandomCullenFanGirl1901 reviews
I took the veggie tales theme and re-vamped it - tehe no pun intended - into the Twilight version. Got the idea from someone else... props to you! Rated T because I felt like it and I get paranoid. MWA HA HA HA! REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Complete
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2868 - Favs: 2,062 - Follows: 971 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Pens & Sharpies by pleasebiteme reviews
Let the Cullens pass notes! I find it hilarious. Maybe you shall, too. ;D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 100 - Words: 18,268 - Reviews: 1440 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 12/7/2008 - Published: 1/27/2008 - Complete
100 things not to do in twilight by Hinotezeke reviews
Yep the twilight version of what not to do at hogwarts.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,106 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/23/2008 - Published: 5/27/2008 - Complete
Heatwave by Ruby-Wednesday reviews
When an unexpected Heatwave hits Forks, it allows Edward and Bella to leave their problems behind and have some fun! Set between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 109,924 - Reviews: 4859 - Favs: 3,071 - Follows: 1,555 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 1/4/2008 - Complete
Passing Notes by Lynnliz13 reviews
In some alternate universe somewhere, the members of our favorite love triangle get placed into classes together. But they wouldn't pass notes to each other. They're much more mature than that. NOT! For their funny, immature antics, go ahead and click.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 986 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 9/20/2008 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Tasting The Wine by CullenLove reviews
In a momentary lapse of control... Edward caused more pain than he could ever have imagined to himself and the woman he loves. When their shattered relationship threatens to break apart, can they forgive and forget? Sequel to I Don't Know You Any More.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,124 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 1/14/2008
Kicking it the Classy Way: TW&WTOTC VOL II! by HolliiiCruiser reviews
A brand new batch of one-shots guaranteed to shock and awe... But mostly, they'll just make you question my own/your sanity. Chapter Five: Intelligent Movie-goers. Edward and Bella try to decide what movie to go see. Short and Sweet-ish.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,619 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/17/2008 - Published: 7/1/2008
Shower Stories by Waffle of Doom reviews
Jasper walks in on Bella while she's taking a shower. What will happen when Edward finds out? How does Bella react to this? RATED T BECAUSE IT TURNS OUT JASPER HAS A POTTYMOUTH!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,827 - Reviews: 760 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Jasper - Complete
Avaritia by nia-ox reviews
Sequel to Luxuria. The repercussions from Jasper's actions at the wedding are revealed, and Bella and Edward try to go on with their future, but an army of twists are abound. Will they make it?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 63,450 - Reviews: 1302 - Favs: 490 - Follows: 246 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Spring Break at the Cullen House by xedwardxloverx reviews
It's Spring Break, and Carlisle and Esme have left the state. What does Alice have in store for everyone? There's a reason it's rated T--now rated M for chapters 3 and on. STORY NOW FINISHED! ;D JxA EmxR ExB fluff and lemons--slight OOC in that respect.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,945 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 7/20/2008 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Complete
Breaking Dawn by DebussyToThis reviews
After Eclipse. Edward and Bella are pushing the boundaries of their relationship as the wedding and her transformation come ever closer. The course of true love never does run smooth, and apparently neither does the road to eternal life! Lemons? Yup!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 18,558 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 2/13/2008
Which Twilight Boy is Gay? by LolliliciousLolly reviews
So who is it? Edward? Mike Newton? Quil or Embry? WHICH ONE, DAMMIT? A parody of the well known and well mocked I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys...haha. Love Lolly
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 312 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Morgue by hellopants reviews
A funny no longer one-shot I came up with sitting in a hospital waiting room. Those crazy Cullen's are at it again! VAMPIRES! It's being continued thanks to bribes from My-Bella and E. C. Cullen. The new stuff is what happens when Edward gets home!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,696 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 6/25/2008 - Published: 3/11/2008
Twilight Trivia! by i.luv.vamps reviews
Response to DaniCullen's Challenge, The twilight trivia Gameshow! A gay Jacob, Cat food, and lot's and lot's of fangirls! What could possibly go wrong? This is Twilight Trivia! rated T for language. I've decided to leave this as a one shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/23/2008 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Complete
Vulnerable by Santi911 reviews
The Cullens go hunting leaving Bella and Jasper to have a little bonding time. What happens when emotions go haywire and They start having feelings for each other? What lengths will Bella and Jasper go to in order to stay together? R&R BxJ LEMONS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 26,606 - Reviews: 720 - Favs: 415 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 11/3/2007 - Complete
Dream a Little Dream by nothingleft reviews
Bella is known for her vivid dreams. What happens after she is changed and no longer has sleep as an escape for her 'freaky' brain? Will her mind find another way to cope? This story tells of how Bella changes- once she's changed. Continuing my ExB fics
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 52,244 - Reviews: 2744 - Favs: 1,033 - Follows: 517 - Updated: 6/18/2008 - Published: 2/6/2008 - Complete
10 Things you don't know about Twilight characters by Summer-Ninja reviews
Title says all. If you want something to be added in the next chapter,, review and tell me so. I will be accepting those ideas and possibly adding them to my next chapter.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 241 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/18/2008
Vampire Needs by DreamingLillies reviews
This is the sequel to "Bases." Now that Bella is a vampire, will Edward be able to resist? Who will win in the end? Edwards POV.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,848 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 287 - Updated: 6/15/2008 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
It Couldn't Stop at Truth or Dare by bite-me62 reviews
This is the sequel to Truth or Dare on a Lazy Day. Bella gets changed into a vampire, but is that really what she wanted? How does Edward react to the new Bella?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,053 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 6/4/2008 - Published: 1/7/2008
love is truly something by YinDragonVampire reviews
sequal to truth or dare with seducing.bellas pregnant,edward ecstatic,charlies fuming,emmett & jasper teasing continues on,lemons,and everything you loved about the last one times ten!edward gets bella pregant and this is their funny little adventure. R&R
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,797 - Reviews: 1237 - Favs: 774 - Follows: 902 - Updated: 6/2/2008 - Published: 9/11/2007
All that we Get are Lies by ivane-818 reviews
Role reversal Edward is the human, Bella is the vampire. Edward is the normal teenage boy... So what changes when Bella comes in to the scene? If Edward is the danger magnet this time, what trouble will they find?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 26,360 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 5/30/2008 - Published: 11/23/2007
Not a Dream by WideEyedMonkey reviews
Bella Swan wakes up after a terrible accident only to find that not everything-and everyone-is the same. Is it all a dream, or has Bella REALLY never met the Cullens? POST-ECLIPSE. Very Romantic. Will have a definite ending. :D
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 21 - Words: 37,204 - Reviews: 316 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 5/29/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Complete
Running Up That Hill by Noelle26 reviews
What if Edward and Bella were in love in 1918? What if Bella and Edward are both vampires,who think that their soul mate was dead? Over 100 years later,Edward and Bella are going to meet again,now as vampires. Will their love still be as strong? AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,447 - Reviews: 119 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 5/25/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008
They Would Never Say by Rosalie McCarty reviews
Things our Twilight characters would never say... ever.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Complete
Getting over it by kittkatt123 reviews
This the sequel to my other story, Bella is raped! Bella struggles with not being able to forget what happened to her, and Edward tries to help her get better in any way that he can, but it makes him more overprotective. Review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 18,246 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 5/17/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8371 - Favs: 7,501 - Follows: 1,725 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Telepathic Wolves and Flamboyant Italian Vampires by Velvet Liquor reviews
Bella is a zombie, Stephenie Meyer's car is stolen, and Edward's vampire family members finally get their screen time.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,408 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Complete
Fading Moments by BookLover1778 reviews
WARNING! LEMON! Edward and Bella are together. But their Relationship is tested when Victoria comes, and threatens the Cullen's. What will happen when Edward moves away, but leaves a small part of himself in Forks?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,722 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 5/11/2008 - Published: 8/4/2007
Love's never broken by Sarahhx3 reviews
Edward thought he lost Bella 10 years ago when she committed suicide, but when a new coven of vampires come to his school, guess who he finds. SEQUEL TO DANGEROUS MINDS! Read that first! Reviewwww.:
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,935 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 4/7/2008
How to Annoy the Twilight Characters by Grey Blade reviews
Title says it all. I know this idea isn't original but I just couldn't resist. This was inspired by 500 Ways to Annoy Sanzo from the Saiyuki category. Rated for slight language. I'm having a lot of fun with this! Suggestions for this are very welcome
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,801 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/16/2008 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Complete
Bella the Human Cullen by liarlikeme reviews
A little tune sung to "Rudolph..."
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 166 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Moonlight Serenade by Savannahbobanna reviews
The Cullen family moves back to Forks after sixty years. One surprise after another await them. Part two to A Twist of Fate.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,182 - Reviews: 426 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 4/3/2008 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Blood Berries by CullenLove reviews
Bella's life is a miserable excuse for existence: her mother beats her, and every day she wishes for death... until a mysterious boy bursts into her life, and throws rainbows on her dark soul. Haunting EdXBella story. Violence, optional lemons, language..
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 42 - Words: 95,812 - Reviews: 1655 - Favs: 796 - Follows: 355 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Another Girl, Another Planet by Sheena Is A Punk Rocker reviews
What would've happened if Jasper was to come back in New Moon? Not Alice. Not Edward. JasperxBella. no, it's NOT gonna go back to ExB. And rated for language. Don't like? Don't read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 29,231 - Reviews: 546 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 3/12/2008 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Vampires by Planxty Lewis reviews
A song parody to Teenagers by My Chemical Romance. This was was pretty fun to do, so check it out. Read, review and enjoy! Rated T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Complete
The Day Crazed Fans Tourtur Killed Lauren Mallory by VampiressE12B reviews
Threequle to the Crazed fan serios. we are hiding in the woods after our murder of mike and we now have decided that it is time for lauren to die!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 4,537 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/18/2008 - Published: 9/18/2007 - Complete
Bella Swan by Planxty Lewis reviews
This song parody is to the tune of Stacy's Mom, by Fountains of Wayne. From the POV of Eric, Mike, and Tyler. Read, review and Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 508 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/13/2008 - Complete
Boyfriend by Planxty Lewis reviews
Another song parody! This one is Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne with the words rewritten. You can guess who it's about! Jacob's POV. All in good fun!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 661 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Complete
When I Think About You I Touch Myself by thefoodsnob reviews
Bella is commited to waiting until they are married before Edward fulfills his ends of the bargain,however Edward is making it as hard on her as he possibly can.When Alice, Esme, Rosalie, Renee, Jessica, and Angela intercede, it's a recipe for pure comedy
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,058 - Reviews: 940 - Favs: 691 - Follows: 758 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 11/15/2007
Twilight on Avenue Q by ShinningSilverLove reviews
Muahahahaha! Twilight characters sing Avenue Q songs! This is a searies of SongFics! Ahahahaha! Very funny! R&R! Rated M because small children should stay pure and not read this!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 10,274 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 2/16/2007 - Complete
Truth or Dare on a Lazy Day by bite-me62 reviews
What exactly will the Cullen's do on a lazy day? How does Bella get involved with a fight for her life?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,418 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 1/7/2008 - Published: 11/9/2007 - Complete
Cowboy Emmett by JollyFray reviews
Due to the suicidal affects of a boring day, the Cullen's take up a little game of truth or dare. Emmett has a long two weeks ahead of him, and the perfect idea for revenge. A humorous story about the trouble Emmett can get himself into. Chapter 6 up!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,906 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/6/2008 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Complete
The Petition by vampiregrrrl110 reviews
There's a petition going around Forks. About Bella. AND her fiance. Anyone care to sign?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,980 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 12/25/2007 - Published: 11/18/2007
Hyper notes with the Cullens by InkandPaper94 reviews
Just random notes that resemble me and my friends' weirdness. Should be interesting and funny... I have a big sense of humor. I laugh at everything . Rated T for weirdness and ranting about sometimes adult things petifials and other things... Enjoy !
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,147 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 12/25/2007 - Published: 12/23/2007
Killing Jacob: to the tune of JOY TO THE WORLD by kissofdeath21 reviews
ME AND MY FRIEND COURTNEY DESTROY JACOB BLACK WITH THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 236 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Complete
12 Days of Christmas: Twilight Style! by ForbalaTheGreen reviews
title says it all. songficish. my brother and i changed the lyrics to the 12 days of christmas to make it less annoying and more entertaining.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/2/2007 - Complete
1985 by Watching Eternity reviews
the Bowling for Soup song 1985 remix, about renee and hilarious! R&R! rating for safety.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 389 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Complete
25 things Emmett can't do involving Edward's piano by tortgirl reviews
the title says it all
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
THE NEW MOON SONG by Falling.Twilight reviews
To the tune of 'Mary Had A Little Lamb.' A BoredInLanguageClass Productions. Contains Eclipse spoiler :3 ! Oneshot. R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 460 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 12 - Published: 10/10/2007 - Complete
Does Charlie Know? by twilight0909 reviews
A small humourous play off of the novel Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer. Charlie over hears a conversation between Bella and Edward. What has he heard? And why does Edward find it so entertaining?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,640 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 10/5/2007 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Complete
Why You Do NOT Get Vampires Drunk by Endless Dawn reviews
What will happen?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 714 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/18/2007 - Published: 9/14/2007 - Complete
The day Crazed fans killed tortured Mike Newton by VampiressE12B reviews
Sequle to killing Jake thing. we kill mike! YAY! Time to kill mike. includes a juicer! WARNING: i will not be held responsible for any juicer night mares.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 3,206 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/13/2007 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
truth or dare with seducing! by YinDragonVampire reviews
just another truth or dare game with the cullens while edward hunts...where bella is dared to seduce edward! lemons and hilarious teasings from Jasper and Emmett!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 13,932 - Reviews: 1188 - Favs: 1,020 - Follows: 376 - Updated: 9/10/2007 - Published: 8/29/2007 - Complete
The day Crazed fans Tourtured Killed Jacob Black by VampiressE12B reviews
Me,under a different name, and some of my freind's,under different names, kill Jacob! Yay! i promised you a story with a blender and this is it! REVIEW! I will not take resposibility for horrible blender nightmares.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,924 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/28/2007 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Complete
The Birds and the Bees by Tee2007 reviews
Carlisle has The Talk with Edward so things are sure to go awry! The new chapter is finally here, thank you for waiting so patiently. Coming up next is Alice and Rosalie having The Talk with Bella, so stay tuned! Rated T for suggestive situations!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,989 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 7/27/2007 - Published: 4/2/2007
The Assignment by xXPATDxFOBXx reviews
The English teacher, Mr. Jones, gave everyone an assignment where they have to write 50 random things. I hope you enjoy it!
High School Musical - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,752 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/3/2007 - Published: 6/25/2007 - Complete
More than you know by blaqkaudio1 reviews
Edward crosses a few of his boundaries. First Twilight fic, R&R no flames please.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 793 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Complete
The Birds & The Bees Emmett Style! by UnicornGoddess95 reviews
How does Bella get unglued from Edward? Find out and prepare to laugh! Complete for now...maybe I'll come up with more hilarity.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,515 - Reviews: 723 - Favs: 956 - Follows: 566 - Updated: 5/10/2007 - Published: 3/19/2007 - Complete
New Moon Karaoke by LindaRoo reviews
The plot of New Moon set to the tune of Bye Bye Miss American Pie by Don McLean.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 995 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/20/2007 - Complete
My Sharpest Lives by phix27 reviews
Edward left Bella two weeks ago. She needs comfort. What music will she listen too? Songfic. The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 523 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Published: 1/22/2007 - Complete
The Shroud of Twilight by highschoolwriting reviews
Picks up where Twilight ends, Edward and Bella focus. M for occasional sexual themes, but there will be alerts in author notes if chapter contains anything bad. First fic, don't be too mean!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,232 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 10/24/2006 - Published: 6/1/2006 - Complete