iamofthedesert
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Poll: In your opinion, is the marriage of a same-sex couple wrong/immoral? Vote Now!
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Joined 05-11-08, id: 1573682, Profile Updated: 05-21-11
Author has written 22 stories for Naruto, Death Note, Hetalia - Axis Powers, and Pokémon.

http://www.youtube.com/user/MentalPatien911

http://iamofthedesert.deviantart.com/

Name: Babs

Age: 16

Occupation: Procrastinator

D.O.B: May 16

Shows: Axis Powers Hetalia, Trinity Blood, Who's Line is it Anyway?, American Dad

Movies: Transformers, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Princess and the Frog

Music: Nephew, Modest Mouse, Bakkushan

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. (So where did the gay people come from...)
8)
Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...

Why do people get married? Normally, in this ADVANCED day and age, we marry for love.

Here in the United States of America, we claim to be the "greatest country on earth"! We have iPods, operations to have triple-D size boobs, liposuction that can make a person lose four hundred pounds, and highly advanced technology.

For the most part, we've gotten rid of religious persecution. We've gotten rid of a lot (but not all) segregation. Why can't we just accept homosexuality?

If you are like me and totally support homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. They are people just like you and me, so don't hate them just because their sexuality is different.

I SUPPORT MARRIAGE FOR LOVE!

Pick the ones that fit you (Mine will be bold)

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terriost.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convienance store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER AND ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I must be ugly...or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I must love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I love SHOPPING, so I MUST be rich.

I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS!

Friend: calls your parents by Mr. and Mrs.
Best friend: calls your parents dad and mom.

Friend: has never seen you cry.
Best Friend: has always had the best shoulder to cry on.

Friend: comes and visits you in jail.
Best Friend: is sitting with you in the jail cell saying
"holy crap that was fun"

Friend: never asks for anything to eat or drink
Best friend: opens the fridge and makes themself at home

Friend: picks you up when you fall
Best Friend: laughs at you and trips you again

Friend: asks you to write down your number.
Best friend: they ask you for their number (cuz they can't
remember it)

Friend: borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
Best friend: has a closet full of your stuff

Friend: only knows a few things about you
Best friend: could write a biography on your life story

Friend: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
Best friend: Will beat up the crowd that the friend left you for

If a cow laughs does milk come out its nose?

If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2?

The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business,
did they see it coming?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Is "Cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say
"I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here and
drink what comes out"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a
mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons does morality
come from morons?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on
envelopes taste like chocolate?

Isn't it interesting how the word 'politics' is made up of
the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be
considered silverware?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell is he homeless or
naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you
done?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word
Lisp?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If u spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do
humanitarians eat?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped
people at the Special Olympics?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it
Fed UP?

If quitters never win and winners never quit how
can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons
and forks What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the
Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didn't zigzag?

After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour
before getting OUT of the water?

If olive oil comes from olives where does baby
oil come from?

Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car
its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a
ship its called CARgo?

If two wrongs don't make a right then how come two
negatives make a positive?

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 17 to smile but it doesn't take any to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

If you always stop to smell the roses sooner or later you'll inhale a bee.

If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceed to tell you exactly why it isn't.

He who laughs last thinks the slowest.

If everyone jumped off a bridge would you too? No, I would step onto a pile of bodies.

No you don't get it you think you get it which is different than actually getting it get it?

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the hell is happening.

My imaginary friend thinks you have mental problems.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me, he said I was being ridiculous, everyone hasn't met me yet.

They say the truth sets you free, then how come every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

When life gives you lemons squeeze them in somebody's eyes and RUN!

That is the wrongest wrong that ever wronged.

If you are reading this then step 1 of my EVIL PLAN is complete.

I used up all of my sick days...so I'm calling in dead.

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendo and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Carebears
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokémon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Just Like Heroin by VanityWantsYou reviews
It never ends well when you fall in love with a straight man. REWRITE OF THIS STORY IN THE WORKS. READ LAST CHAPTER. NaruSasu and SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 56 - Words: 225,354 - Reviews: 4150 - Favs: 1,573 - Follows: 1,058 - Updated: 12/2/2013 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Figurehead of Queer Justice by Perdue reviews
A harmless prank becomes the trigger for a domino-effect of important events in John Egbert's life. John/Dave, post-sburb.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 66,313 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 466 - Follows: 515 - Updated: 9/6/2013 - Published: 7/12/2011 - John E., Dave S.
Gives you Hell by The Crack Fairy reviews
Hidan, a successful writer, has to face a fate worse than death: meet his ex boyfriend at a high school reunion. But don't worry, he has a plan... KakuHidan, AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 41,396 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 2/19/2013 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Protégé by with teeth reviews
When he goes back, he doesn't expect things to get as sticky as they do. Way to break it, hero. Written for the KMeme.
Homestuck - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,833 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 34 - Published: 8/12/2011 - Dave S., Dirk S. - Complete
Respect Your Elders and Betters by dreamingfate reviews
Drunkenness in Barnaby's flat leads to awkward hugging and then other things
Tiger & Bunny/タイガー&バニー - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,446 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/3/2011 - Kotetsu K./Wild Tiger, Barnaby Brooks Jr./Bunny
My Awesome Bro! by green.chan1 reviews
Gilbert took the poor boy from the hands of death, but it seems other problems await. Just who is he really? And who is this Feliciano? HRE as Germany fic, Some Language and Violence.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,590 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 5/7/2011 - Published: 4/9/2010 - Prussia, Holy Roman Empire
The Remedy by Willheart reviews
Oneshot; Black meets N at the Ferris wheel in Nimbasa City, and their feelings for each other become apparent. - Rated M for highly suggestive scenes, Isshu Shipping.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,264 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 16 - Published: 4/16/2011 - Hilbert/Touya, N H./Natural H. G. - Complete
Punishment Game by Nanaki BH reviews
Nobori/Kudari - Nobori decides on a new form of discipline.
Pokémon - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,281 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Ingo, Emmet - Complete
Harmonia by psychoInnocent reviews
He wouldn't get out of his head, that other 'hero'. One whom he missed and craved contact with. Touya/Black x N R&R
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,391 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/29/2011 - N H./Natural H. G., Hilbert/Touya - Complete
I Want To Show You by LoliTurk reviews
Sequel to 'Welcome Home' Knight!PrussiaxKid!Germany The drama continues, secrets are revealed! chapter 4 up
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,781 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/10/2011 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Germany, Prussia
Stepping In by Sleeping Insomniac reviews
China walks in on Hong Kong kissing his boyfriend. Cue parental freak out. Iceland/Hong Kong, England/China
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,170 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 20 - Published: 1/11/2011 - Hong Kong, Iceland - Complete
Fall into Decadence by daedricgurl reviews
Never had he felt himself to be so alive, pressed against this servant and bowing under the pleasure defiance had brought him. Royalty be damned as he sullied his blood and fell into this sweet decadence. Love's embrace warm, and they would suffer it. AU.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,285 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Hong Kong, Iceland - Complete
Punishing Prussia by MasterYodaOfYaoi reviews
Austria invites the Germanic brothers to his home and after ruining the tour, Prussia must recieve punishment from his dear, sadistic brother: Germany. Towards the end, an unexpected interruption occurs...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,471 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 17 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Germany, Prussia - Complete
This Love by MasterYodaOfYaoi reviews
Little Sealand journeys to Germany's home, intent on making him pay for what he's done. But will he get his revenge? Or will he be getting something entirely different?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,972 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/20/2010 - Germany, Sealand - Complete
Always by SweetestSarah reviews
Turkey has been taken by sickness, he is on his death bed. How will Gupta and Heracles handle this?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,112 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/5/2010 - Turkey, Greece - Complete
Out of Sight, Still in Mind by Three-Sided Square reviews
Norway always suspected that Denmark had been hiding a secret, but he never would have guessed it would be something they held in common. A most curiously hidden box in Denmark's room only raises suspicion. Norway selfcest, DenNor, and plenty of kink.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,329 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Norway, Denmark - Complete
Beautiful by Heart of a Music Box reviews
Ivan and Raivis contemplate Raivis' appearance, and come to two very different conclusions.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 450 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/18/2010 - Russia, Latvia
A World without You by JPMod reviews
Through a guardian angel, Naruto saw the world, as it was if he was not born. Dark themes.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,429 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 1/19/2008 - Naruto U.
Gutters by glassamilk reviews
'The Calamity' has left the world stripped and dying. Alone in a civilian bunker in Munich, Sealand will be reunited with the last known living member of his surrogate family and together, they will set out across Europe to find those they have lost.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 98,149 - Reviews: 796 - Favs: 1,800 - Follows: 473 - Updated: 10/14/2010 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Sealand, Denmark
Dirty Little Secret by ZWTFmate reviews
He knew he'd seen her before, he just couldn't believe WHERE... Germany/Ukraine CRACK ON HAITUS... Sorry.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,775 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/1/2010 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Germany, Ukraine
Hello Lovely, I Hate You by I Spaz With Pizzazz reviews
When one does not pay attention while driving, they may or may not be happy with what they hit. The same applies to life in general, sometimes even when one is paying too /close/ attention. KakuHida, AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 32,180 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu
Secret Crowds by glassamilk reviews
Kink meme fill. An explosion leaves Denmark with a permanent brain injury and Norway struggles to find his role in their relationship as the line between lover and caregiver begins to blur.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,432 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 31 - Published: 7/8/2010 - Denmark, Norway - Complete
Headshot! by Dawn Faye reviews
...Kaoru looked at Hikaru with his most serious eyes and asked, "What's your favorite type of jelly?"
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: M - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,218 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 23 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Kaoru H., Hikaru H. - Complete
Brother by Ghost Chibi reviews
Prussia loses his brother, gains another, and delivers a long-overdue message to Italy. Rated for character death.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/29/2010 - Prussia, Holy Roman Empire - Complete
I Have Hunger, Brother by sundrymunity reviews
Prussia reads a story to his younger brother to sleep at night. Contains a lot of German, but the gist of it is translated below the story.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 799 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/18/2010 - Prussia, Holy Roman Empire - Complete
Welcome Home by xXLunarEclipse896Xx reviews
Prussia returns home to Germany, after many years, from behind the Berlin Wall. Rated M for actual guyxguy and swearing. My first fanfic with this type of content, so do go easy on me.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 782 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/9/2010 - Germany, Prussia - Complete
Polluting America by MasterYodaOfYaoi reviews
America had refused to join the League of Nations. So England, France, Russia and a reluctant Japan decide to "convince" him otherwise...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,013 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/28/2010 - America - Complete
Brothers Under the Sun by LarcSakurai reviews
Prussia's daytime fantasies about his brother lead to an interlude in the backyard.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 954 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Germany, Prussia - Complete
Dancing and Kissing by sundrymunity reviews
After seeing his brother struggle to pick up a young, lovely lady, Prussia steps in to give HRE some lessons in love - and kissing. Dance performed is the Minuet of France. Slight tensions between Prussia and HRE.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,562 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Published: 4/25/2010 - Holy Roman Empire, Prussia - Complete
Kakuzu's Wonderful Life by A Curious Stranger reviews
Kakuzu just wants a normal life filled with money. Really. It's not like he wanted to kill all of his partners, they just kind of happened. You can't blame him for that? Right?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,927 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/2/2010 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Lovers Disagree by traitorsblood reviews
A collab done with Fallen Angel Pear-chan! Denmark/Norway Iceland walks in on a very intimate moment between the two. What will happen when Denmark's anger boils over?
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,624 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/19/2010 - Denmark, Norway - Complete
Whose Wet Dream? by Yuri-Akumari reviews
Germay X Italy Lemon M for lemon...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,022 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/3/2010 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
Не оставляй меня by Sunflower Boy reviews
Title: Don't Leave Me - Latvia wasn't sure what to expect, but what Russia did next definitely was not on his list of horrifying possibilities. RusLat. Human and Country names used. First time writing something like this, please review.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,445 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 14 - Published: 12/29/2009 - Russia, Latvia - Complete
Akatsuki Employee Handbook by Lady Khali reviews
A guide to all things Akatsuki, including our internal rules and regulations. Written by Akatsuki members, for Akatsuki members, and subject to approval by senior management: Pain and Madara. All edits are final. Dispute at your own risk.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 19 - Words: 26,755 - Reviews: 429 - Favs: 817 - Follows: 216 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Pain/Pein, Madara U. - Complete
Belief Solidified by WhirledPeace reviews
Once a year, on a certain eve, the fabric between our world and the spirit world become thin. And Hidan is very, very glad for this. Sex of a sort...? JashinHidan yaoi Kind of? Eh... M for a reason.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,287 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/31/2009 - Hidan, Jashin - Complete
Make Me Bleed by Shuriken to the face reviews
Deidara is injured...This is extreme Yaoi. You have been warned. Sasodei. Now a series.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,494 - Reviews: 140 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 10/25/2009 - Published: 7/28/2007 - Deidara, Sasori
Christening by KivaEmber reviews
AU Oneshot because I am an AU whore. Gilbert was not going to play hide and seek in the garden like a fag. Nope, he and Ludwig were going to christen Peter's bed...
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,463 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/9/2009 - Germany, Prussia - Complete
Voice by Metempsykhosis reviews
Feliciano likes the sound of Ludwig's voice a little too much.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
Renaissance by Canadino reviews
Post WW2. "When I see you again," Italy said, "I want to hold your hand and never let go." Germany/Italy
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,398 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/23/2009 - Germany, N. Italy - Complete
Blinding the Crow by Yellow kiwi reviews
*Discontinued* Words spoken by Itachi promet Sasuke to rethink his revenge. But was Itachi worth saving? Trouble from Konoha and Akastuki soon come Sasuke's way, and he starts to wonder about the emotions that drove him to save his brother. yaoi SasuIta
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 57,264 - Reviews: 319 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Itachi U., Sasuke U.
To Infinity and Beyond by The Crack Fairy reviews
In the year 3269, A.K.A.T.S.U.K.I. begin acting on their plans for universe domination by meeting on Planet X. Chaos ensues. Sci Fi AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,212 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Akatsuki - Complete
Opposite Ends by The Crack Fairy reviews
In a way, Kakuzu had always known that he and Hidan would end up meeting again. Somehow, he had also known that it would not be pleasant. - AU, character death
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,057 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
When the world comes down by The Crack Fairy reviews
Hidan never would have skipped English class if he had known that it would get him the attention of a secret terrorist organisation. Akatsuki AU. Rating might change.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,313 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 7/3/2009 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Akatsuki, Hidan
When Carpools Get Ugly by Medicinal Biscuit reviews
CHAPTER 7 OUT! In which old times come back to bite our boys, Neji finally loses it, emo songs are sung, the culprit behind Bessie's vandalism is FINALLY revealed, Lee attempts to find a plus in a world of minuses, and, as always, the plot thickens.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 35,848 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 11/26/2007 - Deidara, Hidan
As You Wish by The Crack Fairy reviews
“Explaining everything would take a long time… you may call me Hidan, and because you have my necklace, I have to grant you three wishes.” KakuHidan, AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 20,757 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu
To ReSculpt A Broken Heart by x012587Genin reviews
Hidan suffers through a bad breakup with Kakuzu, his long time partner... He however realizes he might just not have to suffer through it alone... HidanXDeidara, rated for content and language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,621 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 4/27/2009 - Hidan, Deidara - Complete
Others by MidnightWritings reviews
Afraid of the dark? You should be. Kakuzu/OC
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,487 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/10/2009 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Kakuzu
Of rockstars and cardiac surgeons by The Crack Fairy reviews
Hidan San is on his way to become a famous musician; Kakuzu Hoku would already be happy if med school wasn't so expensive. Sequel to "Pajaros en la Cabeza", KakuHidan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,712 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/7/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu
A Jashinist Wedding by The Crack Fairy reviews
Blood is red, Veins are blue, Please don’t be mad, But I need you to marry me or else the high priests of Jashin-sama will kill me in the cruelest possible way - Hidan" Crackfic, KakuHidan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,570 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 34 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu
I Kissed A Boy by SaveADrumBangADrummer23 reviews
Kakuzu was the subject of a dare. Hidan was the one being dared. Tayuya had a camera. What do you think happens? Well, let's just say it's very pretty. KakuHida, rated T, may change later on. Probably a oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,021 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Kakuzu, Hidan
In Pieces by Thingsthatgobumpinthenight reviews
KakuHida. A silent understanding between the two allowed for their relationship to keep, despite the coldness between the men.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 632 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Door to Door by stones reviews
Whoever said door to door salesmen were annoying was absolutely, positively, most definitely right. Hidan/Sakura. Mature Humor.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,408 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 45 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Hidan, Sakura H. - Complete
Can't Stop the Rain by Melby7777 reviews
Hidan couldn't imagine that his mistakes could lead to this. Character death...
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,317 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/9/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Doctor, Doctor, Knight by Tinker Misa reviews
Hidan and Deidara in medieval Europe. Hidan is a knight, and a famous one at that while his squire, Deidara, is left with his confused feelings. What happens when a mysterious masked doctor comes into the picture? Who will be left with Hidan's heart?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,265 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Kakuzu, Hidan
Boyfriend by Melby7777 reviews
Kakuzu and Sasori fight over who's the better boyfriend.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,047 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Sasori, Kakuzu - Complete
A thousand words by The Crack Fairy reviews
Kakuzu, Hidan, a mission, snow. A thousand words to describe one picture. Slight KakuHidan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Toy by SkyeFox reviews
KakuHid -smut without a plot- Matured for obvious reasons includes pain fetish and use of erotic toys. one shot
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,192 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/19/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Acracktsuki by Crystaline-Crimson reviews
A quest to write one chapter for each of the 89 possible Akatsuki pairings. 17/89 done. Number seventeen: SasoKonan
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 10,735 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 1/12/2009 - Published: 3/5/2008 - Konan, Sasori
look at us baby by SASORIDEIDARA reviews
this is a song fic. about sasori and deidara.WARNING:yoai boyXboy!don't even own a pair of socks!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 917 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Deidara, Sasori
Kakuzu Klaus by dead drifter reviews
Oneshot. Being Santa is hard work. Especially when Santa's little helper is Itachi Uchiha.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 874 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Kakuzu, Itachi U. - Complete
Fright Fest by dead drifter reviews
crack!Akatsuki Halloween! Or is it?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,150 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 12/24/2008 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Pain/Pein, Konan - Complete
Guardian by Lyricism reviews
AU. Love is often a trial and error thing, especially when said love isn't accepted in general and said lovers are within the terror that is adolescence. KakuHida
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,007 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 12/20/2008 - Published: 8/25/2007 - Hidan, Kakuzu
Pajaros en la Cabeza by The Crack Fairy reviews
Kakuzu, Akatsuki Academy's best student and resident asshole, is forced to spend an hour a day with the Academy's newest student, Hidan, for tutoring. Watch an unlikely relationship unfold... AU, rated for swearing
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 31,911 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 219 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Art by The Crack Fairy reviews
While their personalities were nowhere near alike, Deidara and Hidan were, in a way, so similar. /Reflection drabble.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 488 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/13/2008 - Deidara, Hidan - Complete
Dirty Old Man by dead drifter reviews
Crack fic, Yaoi in varying amounts of naughtiness. Someone messes with Kakuzu’s heart meds for a joke, but the results are unexpected. Unable to stop himself, Kakuzu bangs every male person he encounters. Ch.7 KakuZet Ch.8 KakuHida Ch.9 KakuDei Ch.10 ?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,343 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 12/10/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Kakuzu, Sasori
12 Ways to Kill Sasuke by HikariOneeSan reviews
WILL BE DELETED OR REWRITTEN SO NO POINT IN READING! Warning: HUMOR! Sasuke fans do not read or you might be serverly offended.I have come up with 12 ways to kill Sasuke but no matter how many times you kill him he always comes back to life.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,616 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/15/2008 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Fall For You by animemaniac202 reviews
this is based on the chapters where Hidan and Kakuzu get killed. Kakuhida Hidakaku. fluffy fluff fluff! hope you like! oneshot
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 992 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Happy Ever After by The Crack Fairy reviews
Once upon a time, there was a prince... A cracky KakuHi fairytale.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,348 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Black Puppet Strings by kira-chan's imagination reviews
Hidan is fed up with Kakuzu totally ignoring him when working. He decides the only way to get some attention is to bother Kakuzu until his last nerve. Hidan pushes a bit too far so Kakuzu has a suprise for him as well. Rated for a reason! YAOI KuzuxHidan
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,594 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Flee by dead drifter reviews
A What If? Fic. Kakuzu/Konan. Somehow, Kakuzu survived, and Konan leaves with him in hopes of starting a new life. Will they be able to find happiness, or will fate catch up to them?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,583 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Kakuzu, Konan - Complete
Crack by The Crack Fairy reviews
Okay, he was old, but he wasn't old old, right? He was still as athletic as ever, he barely had any wrinkles, and surely he didn't have a dachshund. KakuHi, Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 528 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 6 - Published: 10/25/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
BabySitting by Katrara reviews
Itachi's only 7, babysitting his little brother while his parents r out, what could possibly go wrong
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,638 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Itachi U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Deadly Secret by ShadesofDeath reviews
You know leader will kill us if he finds out?" "Then lets keep it our deadly secret un." Characters: Masashi Kishimoto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,508 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
Hard Core Gaming by dead drifter reviews
Yaoi Matt/Mello. Matt wants to play a game that Mello is sure to enjoy.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,858 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Matt, Mello
Hurricane by Purplewolfstar35 reviews
Konan's been alone for a while, and weathered through a fearsome hurricane in Amegakure. Is there one hurricane she can never outrun? Even now that she's leaving with her love? Kakuzu/Konan, minor onesided Pein/Konan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,183 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Kakuzu, Konan - Complete
Just Once by kira-chan's imagination reviews
kakuzu and Hidan fight for the rights to be Seme. Hidan finally wins, as Kakuzu submits to him grudgingly. HidanxKakuzu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,297 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Returning to Heaven by x012587Genin reviews
Cain is invited to a party... but he has been threatened by "The Raven". A gun is fird and someone will die... Yaoi CainXRiff if you look REALLY hard... rated for content, just to be safe. Read, Review and Enjoy! -COMPLETE-
Count Cain: God Child - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,680 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Complete
RedheadxBlondie by Pesshe reviews
What happens when a tired and freezing Sasori throws himself at the couch, followed by his blonde partner, who's more than happy to help Sasori feel better... Includes yaoi malexmale
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 961 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/1/2008 - Sasori, Deidara - Complete
Am i losing my mind? by StitchedRevolution reviews
Hidan is always waiting for Kakuzu. One day he finds a little kitten and decides to keep it. But, for some reason Kakuzu's missing. KakuHida
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,536 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 9/10/2008 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Not Lovers by Darkfire75 reviews
KakuHida. He wasn't supposed to feel anything for his partner. That was the agreement. rated for sexual content and language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,750 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 8 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Almost Stood Up by x012587Genin reviews
Kakuzu has a suprise for Hidan when they go out on a "date". YAOI HidanXKakuzu drabble thing... yaoi, rated for langueage... Dedicated to my Kuzu SUMMARY SUX... DONT KILL ME!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,625 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Wish by Lyricism reviews
Hidan doesn't expect much from his partner, but the one thing he does want from the other is impossible to get. KakuHidan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 335 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Pimp My Sculptor by dead drifter reviews
Epic Rape. The Akatsuki are running low on funds, so Pein decides to pimp Deidara out to the rest of the ninja world. A little humor, angst, drama, romance, even horror thrown in!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,105 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 8/3/2008 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Sasori, Deidara
Cruisin' USA by dead drifter reviews
crack!Akatsuki. Sir Leader thinks it’s about time that everyone in Akatsuki learns how to drive! Featuring school bus hijackings, transvestite hookers, hit and runs, a professional drunk driving course, grand theft auto, sexual harassment and MORE!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,823 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 28 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Pain/Pein, Obito U./Tobi
Akatsuki Home Cooking by dead drifter reviews
crack!Akatsuki! Learn to cook from our beloved evil organization! Rated for sexual mentions no sexual content .
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,671 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Itachi U., Zetsu
I Am Not! by dead drifter reviews
Each Akatsuki gives us a moment of their time to rant and rave about something that they most definitely are NOT. And yet…maybe they really ARE.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,817 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 1/4/2008
Naruto and Niki by carissi7594 reviews
wells i have no clue but ill work on the next part as soon as posabul
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 149 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2008 - Complete
Only Matt by Artificial Starlight reviews
Matt's been playing a new game since 5 o'clock in the morning and Mello is absolutely annoyed. Unable to work with all this racket, Mello's about to show Matt exactly what happens when the blond goes ignored... yaoi, lemon...
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,697 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Stitching My Mouth Shut by I Spaz With Pizzazz reviews
Kakuzu doesn't seem to notice, and Hidan can't seem to say it. KakuHida, Shounen-ai. -Complete-
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,090 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/28/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Toys & Red Wine by Cerise Murmur reviews
What happens when Matt cheats on Mello? You get MattxMelloxNear smut. So I guess cheating's not all bad. WARNING: Extreme Yaoi. Oneshot.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,558 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Mello, Matt - Complete
beautiful S P L I N T E R by I Spaz With Pizzazz reviews
Sasori was closing himself up. Deidara couldn't stand watching. Shounen-ai, Deidara/Sasori. -Complete-
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,320 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/21/2008 - Published: 7/2/2008 - Sasori, Deidara - Complete
What's This? by Abby-0-Abby reviews
Kakuzu drops Hidan in Christmastown, and boy is he pissed. Lovely crackfic and songfic at the same time xD Rated M for LOADS of language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 927 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Hidan - Complete
To Be Announced by x012587Genin reviews
WOOT! Heres a little HidanXKakuzu thing i came up with while watching "the movie" in bio! Uh... obviously yaoi everyones fav. , HidanXKakuzu, ItachiXKisame, DeiXSasori and PeinXKonan... And most importantly, this is dedicated to my Kakuzu-kun! I LOVE YOU!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,295 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 7/15/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu
Ningyo by Passion's Spirit reviews
After a long difficult mission, Itachi and Kisame decide to take a break at a mythical lake. What does Kisame find in that lake that has his heart longing for more?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,291 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Kisame H., Itachi U. - Complete
Akatsuki Kindergarten by yosshi reviews
CRACK.HUMOUR.OOC What would it be like for the Akatsuki when they were in Kindergarten? Featuring: Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara, Sasori, Orochimaru, Tobi, Hidan, Kakuzu and Leader! CHAPTER 6 NOW UP. Sorry for wait!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,909 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 7/13/2008 - Published: 9/24/2006
Anata Bokki Suru by XxBlackChaosxX reviews
Sequel to Itadakimasu - another Sasodei smut! What happens now? Who knows? Read and find out. Oneshot. Sasodei, Deisaso.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,430 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
To Hell and Back by dead drifter reviews
ShounenAi KakuHidan. Kakuzu’s dead, but he can’t rest until his Soul Mate, Hidan, dies as well. The dead nin returns to Earth armed with the only thing that CAN kill Jashinists: Stygian water…Full summary inside.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,022 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Figured You Out by Akatsuki's-Angel-of-death reviews
Pein and Konan. LEMON WARNING! i have no clue what to do for my summary. You have been warned for Lemon.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Konan, Pain/Pein - Complete
Happy Birthday, Sasori by Hitokugutsu reviews
Deidara finds out it's Sasori's birthday. What kind of present is the blonde going to give his partner and lover? !Warning- Yaoi and lemon, don't like, don't read!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,971 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
But What If I'm Something Else? by kira-chan's imagination reviews
Kakuzu and Hidan had just returned from a bounty mission and the stitched-nin was very tired. Hidan on the other hand, has something else in mind. Rated for language, blood, gore, slash, and yaoi sex.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,893 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Not Typical by Miss Anonymiss reviews
Hinata doesn't need to cut her wrists to feel the pleasure of pain. Hinata/Hidan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Hinata H., Hidan - Complete
A Cry Answered With A Kiss by Temporarily in Hiding reviews
It's Sasuke's birthday and Itachi is in tears at the memory of his little brother. However, the Uchiha doesn't hide his tears well enough because a certain blond notices. Yaoi. ItaDei.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,891 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Itachi U., Deidara - Complete
A Need For More Than Hair Gel by x012587Genin reviews
Hidan ran out of hair gel. The end of the world for him. Curses are thrown as he and Kakuzu argue, threatening what little realtionship they have. Will things work out? rated M for strong langueage, HidanXKakuzu... yaoi DEDICATED TO: a special someone. xo
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 942 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
A 4th Of July Worth Remembering by ShadesofDeath reviews
its the 4th of July, and Deidara and Sasori get stuck on a mission. The fireworks explode above head, nd Sasori relizes something, he wants Deidara. DeixSaso, Characters-Masashi Kishimoto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 953 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
Love Is A Sickness by ShadesofDeath reviews
Deidara's sick, Sasori has to take care of him. And Sasori dose 'take care' of him, Yaoi, DeixSaso all characters belong to rightful owner, not me.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,776 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
HiKaku Paperwork by Hyoukai a.k.a Itachsforever reviews
Another day of Kakuzu in the office... and Hidan is a bit too horny for his own good. This originally started out as a request for a KakuHi fluff. Well, look how that turned out. Now It is a 4-page HiKaku lemon.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,664 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 43 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
The One by yrume reviews
KakuHidan One-Shot - yaoi, lemon, bondage/bdsm, violence/gore, strong language - Kakuzu gets distracted by Hidan playing an interesting little game :3
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,996 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/13/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Love Brownies by bibochan reviews
Deidara wants to do something sweet for his beloved Itachi. Oneshot. I know, bad summary. I'm sorry. Warning: Lemon! Yaoi! ItaDei!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,552 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/12/2008 - Deidara, Itachi U. - Complete
Miroku Meets Viagra by LaClem reviews
Kagome brings little blue pills for Sango to help out with Miroku. A One-Shot WARNING: LEMON!
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/31/2008 - Miroku, Sango - Complete
How To Be A Teacher's Pet by rebelliousangel94 reviews
Sasori has to teach Deidara a lesson about his behavior towards his elders. YAOI! LEMON! Don't like-Don't read. I was asked to incorporate a brick, apple, and school into this story by a friend. R&R. No flames! It's my first so be nice to it.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,476 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
Akatsuki Games of EVIL by xXTSUKImono17Xx reviews
The Akatsuki are bored, and with their DDR broken, what shall they do to entertain themselves? Why, truth or dare, of course! and eventually, Candy Land! 3 new OC's, Tsukimono, Kiri, and Mizuki. Yaoi, but nothing smutty. these OC's just in this story.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,566 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/26/2008 - Sasori, Deidara
Stitches by Cupe reviews
Yaoi. KakuHidan. Kakuzu's feeling a little tense and has Hidan sort his problem out for him, in more ways than one. Graphic yaoi, no likey, no ready. Present for DayDrifter.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,423 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/7/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Black Flavored Love On Hiatus by hopelessangelkitthana reviews
Kakashi/OC Itachi/OC There will be two different versions, one for Kakashi and one for Itachi. Each will share a beginning but after chapter 2 everything will start to change.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 13,549 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/7/2008 - Published: 4/27/2008 - Itachi U., Kakashi H.
Mommy's Here by Purplewolfstar35 reviews
After the battle with Jiraiya, Pein loses his adult-mentality and starts acting like a child. Konan, heartbroken, has now been forced into the position of "Mommy". When she finds herself in love with both men, what happens? Pein/Konan/Kakuzu love triangle
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,467 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/4/2008 - Konan, Pain/Pein
Curiosity by Genzetsu reviews
Sasori's out for awhile and Deidara's bored, so he figures he'll try something out to keep in entertained. SasoDei, Yaoi, LEMON
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,614 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/10/2008 - Sasori, Deidara - Complete
What's a Conscience Got to Do With Us? by lessxordinary reviews
What starts off as an arguement between Itachi and Kisame about Itachi being a cold-hearted bastard eventually turns into much more as Kisame questions right and wrong in a community of murderers, and things get steamy. ItachixKisame Yaoi Lemon
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,081 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/4/2008 - Itachi U., Kisame H. - Complete
The unwanted becomes wanted by Fire911Fire reviews
WHAT! Itachi's Pregnant? . ItachixKisame ONESHOT
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,043 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Itachi U., Kisame H. - Complete
Akatsuki Fools by dead drifter reviews
Crack! April Fool’s Day fun with the Akatsuki! ALL of them! Rated for language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,126 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Kakuzu, Deidara - Complete
Moments of insecurity by Artificial Starlight reviews
Hidan wants a date with no mission related themes, but Kakuzu has a reason why he may not be able to give Hidan that satisfaction. Rated for Hidan's language, of course.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,241 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
The New Couch by Cass-Tastic reviews
Kakuzu is rather perturbed when he is made to move a couch, and the day just keeps getting better. Request for Kisamex RATED M!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,726 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Scales, Puppets, and Absolute Denial by FlightAngel reviews
In which Hidan, Itachi, and Deidara discuss their boyfriend's penises. Oneshot Crack-ish. Kakuhida Sasodei Kisaita
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,648 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 17 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Deidara, Hidan - Complete
A Day at the Beach by LunarWolf32 reviews
Hidan has been crushing on the local lifeguard, Kakuzu, all summer. He can never get his attention! Will he ever get Kakuzu's attention? How does Tobi fit in all this? This is in Hidan's POV. please R&R
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,448 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Lucky Gai's Irish Pub by dead drifter reviews
Akatsuki Crack! The evil organization and resident servant Tobi are invited to participate in the festivities at Konoha for St. Patrick’s Day. Featuring Kakuzu’s Pot O’ Gold, Bearded Sasori, Skittles spoofs, Zetsu’s seed and more! Rated for language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,053 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/17/2008 - Published: 3/16/2008
Nightmares by Mazuku reviews
A brief moment of terror leads to something Kisame never expected. ItaKisa, oneshot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,475 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Kisame H., Itachi U. - Complete
Riders of the Red Dawn by dead drifter reviews
AU. The Akatsuki are a gang of outlaws in the wild west. They end up shacking up in a dying town called El Suna, where the leader of the group, Pein, falls head over boot heels for a pretty little whore named Konan. Crack humor, romance, het, shounen ai
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Western/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,768 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Kakuzu, Hidan
The Boy, the Deer, and the God by NoLifeChild reviews
200 years have passed, and the Akatsuki Organization is long gone, but one member still lives. The Nara Clan still protects the forest sealing him within, but one day, a young Nara digs him up. Hinting of KakuHidaKaku Rated for language
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,363 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/24/2008 - Shikamaru N., Hidan - Complete
Interactive Akatsuki Garage Sale! by dead drifter reviews
Kakuzu is hosting a garage sale, and YOU can buy whatever you want! NO NEW CUSTOMERS, PLEASE! BIDDING IS CLOSED! COMPLETE!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,493 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/17/2008 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Kakuzu - Complete
Dinner and a Show! by Cass-Tastic reviews
Kakuzu only planned to take Hidan out to the movies, maybe catch a bite to eat, but it looks like Hidan had something else in mind.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,245 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Binge Pledging by dead drifter reviews
AU. Salesman/ Sasori. Naruto X Zelda Crossover. Akatsuki Crack. Sasori OD’s on Pledge, and ends up in an alternate world. Rape Humor.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Sasori, Deidara - Complete
Kiss Me, Kill Me by Purplewolfstar35 reviews
My god…my heart is being ripped out, and that isn’t a joke…I’m up against the tree, there’s nothing I can do now…except watch…as death charges forward to meet me. I know that man too…Kakashi…" Kaku/Kaka angst drabble for Jingas Meitel
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 207 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/7/2008 - Kakashi H., Kakuzu - Complete
No Strings or Teeth Attached by cyberspyderweb reviews
Kakuzu and Kisame spend the night at an Inn ment for Honeymooners. Yaoi Lemon Kaku/Kisa We realy do need more of this kind of Yaoi for those two huh? For all the FanGirls and Yaoiboys! Enjoy! Warning: strong naughty references! Kisame love once more!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,491 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Kakuzu, Kisame H. - Complete
Elevator Music by dead drifter reviews
AU. Graphic Lemon/ Yaoi Saso/Neji. Neji is going for a job interview, but he ends up getting stuck in an elevator…fortunately, he’s stuck in an elevator with his potential boss. To pass the time, they make ‘elevator music.’ XP
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,714 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Neji H., Sasori - Complete
Sweat, Blood and Tears by dead drifter reviews
Oneshot. Yaoi. KakuHidan. Rated for graphic sex, swearing, violence and blood. Every time he's with Kakuzu, Hidan cries. “I want you so bad…oh, Jashin…I want you all the time…and that’s why it’s wrong…can’t you understand that?”
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Hit Me with Your Best Shot by Purplewolfstar35 reviews
I, Uchiha Itachi, am hollow and empty. So hit me with your best shot Sasuke, and for my sake, please don't miss. Twoshot, of Itachi's defeat and the two Uchiha's thoughts.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 1/4/2008 - Published: 12/10/2007 - Itachi U., Sasuke U. - Complete
AIM by Purplewolfstar35 reviews
AKATSUKI I.M! Minor Shonenai...Rated for crude jokes and language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,321 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 1/2/2008 - Published: 10/14/2007 - Itachi U., Deidara
Orochimaru's World Famous New Year's Eve Party by dead drifter reviews
Sequel to “The Ten Days of Akatsuki Christmas.” Featuring unauthorized Furby breeding, the purpose of Kimimaro’s zig zag hair parting, drunken sex, pimping puppets, Hot Cheatos, revealing New Year’s resolutions and more!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 31,426 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/1/2008 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Complete
Cotton Candy by dead drifter reviews
Oneshot YAOI Zetsu/Tobi. Tobi loves cotton candy. But he loves his Zu Zu more.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,341 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Obito U./Tobi, Zetsu - Complete
It's For You, Dumb Ass by dead drifter reviews
Shonenai. KakuHidan. Kakuzu makes Hidan a quilt. Short and sweet. Rated for cursing and suggestive material.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 280 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Kakuzu's Birthday Ramblings by dead drifter reviews
Angst Rambling. Slight KakuHidan. It's the old man's birthday...and he reflects on his life.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 803 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/30/2007 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Dude, Where's My Ring? by dead drifter reviews
Oneshot. YAOI. SasoDei. Sasori can’t find his ring. After tearing apart the whole house, Deidara helps him out.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,560 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 7 - Published: 12/28/2007 - Sasori, Deidara - Complete
What I Go To School For by Cupe reviews
YAOI Deidara has to stay after class, but he does more than just write lines... SasoDei, Yaoi, don't like, don't read. Lemon alert
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,882 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 10 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
The Ten Days Of Akatsuki Christmas by dead drifter reviews
Featuring all of our favorite Akatsuki, even Orochimaru makes an appearance! Epileptic Hidan, scary Zetsu, reindeer massacres, tainted fruit cake, Candy Cane Crack and more!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,753 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/16/2007 - Published: 12/5/2007 - Hidan, Deidara - Complete
Lost Lemons of the Ten Days of Akatsuki Christmas by dead drifter reviews
These are the lost lemons of the Christmas special. Yaoi SasoDei, KakuHidan, KisaIta. Christmas and booze fuse and become one great big lemon slice.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,833 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/16/2007 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Complete
Teme, Seme, and Uke by Plain Jane Is A Vampire reviews
My first Naruto fanfic, slash. SasuNaru. it's just a fluffy little oneshot. Revised edition in second chapter.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 356 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/14/2007 - Published: 9/14/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Little Big List of Rules by dead drifter reviews
This is the list of rules posted in the kitchen of the Akatsuki house in my Crack Fic universe, anyway. Whether anyone in Akatsuki actually READS it is questionable. But you should read it. Because the evil Gumby mailbox posted at the curb said so.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 759 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/11/2007 - Complete
Love over Gold by Karijn Aska Shangel reviews
KakuHidan Everyone in Akatsuki knew that Friday nights were Uke reunion nights. Hidan wants to prove that Kakuzu loves him more than money. KakuzuxHidan
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Clay is a Poor Substitute for Earplugs by dead drifter reviews
Pein and Konan decide to get down and dirty...and didn't have the common courtesy to supply Deidara and Itachi with earplugs.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,510 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/2/2007 - Deidara, Itachi U. - Complete
I didn't say it was my FIRST time by Aisha and Mina reviews
ello!:D im mina from the aisha and mina group :33 im here to bring you a smexie little oneshot about a certain fish man and a sharingan user x333 [ItaKisa SEX! M]
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,038 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/7/2007 - Kisame H., Itachi U. - Complete
Hate Mail by Aurifex reviews
[SasoDei, implied KakuHidan] Dear Asshole. I'm telling Sasori no danna what you said about my hair. I hope he sets you on fire. Jackass. Love, Deidara. P.S....Tell your boyfriend I said hello!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,442 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 10/26/2007 - Published: 10/19/2007 - Deidara, Hidan
Paying A Compliment by firefly reviews
It was a fact of life Kakuzu had come to accept. When you were as good looking as Hidan, people tended to treat you like a god. Funnily enough, Kakuzu couldn't recall ever getting the same treatment.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,912 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 929 - Follows: 82 - Published: 9/27/2007 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Heat by Shuriken to the face reviews
Takes place after Akatsuki at the Seaside. Rating is there for a reason. Onesided Deisaso
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,612 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 8/3/2007 - Published: 7/29/2007 - Deidara, Sasori - Complete
Akatsuki at the Seaside by Shuriken to the face reviews
Everyone's favourite criminals have a nice day out...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,946 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/28/2007 - Complete
The Number of Kisses by NoLifeChild reviews
It's Kisame's birthday. Itachi's on the sofa with him. What does the Uchiha give him? ItaKisa FLUFF! Rated to be safe...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 498 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/21/2007 - Kisame H., Itachi U. - Complete
The Utterly Random Kakuzu and Hidan Story by NoLifeChild reviews
FINISHED! Finally...Chapter 18 is up children! Thank you all for being patient and all that, my deepest apologies for delay...A little fic about Hidan and Kakuzu, how they met, and what happened before they ever came out in the manga. Parody.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 30,872 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/20/2007 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Tease by la mangue joyeuse reviews
Kakuzu has Hidan right where he wants him. KakuHidan
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 516 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 40 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Kakashi's Had It by The Ultimate Saiyan reviews
REVISED 9-4-10 Kakashi had put up with Gai's habit of preaching about youth. What happens when Kakashi finally flips his lid? Rated T for language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 610 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/27/2007 - Kakashi H., Gai M. - Complete
One of the Cool Kids by firefly reviews
Before Tobi can be recruited into the Akatsuki, he must face the monumental task of passing an initiation test administered by each of the other members. Here's hoping he does. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 26,500 - Reviews: 1236 - Favs: 1,809 - Follows: 1,133 - Updated: 4/3/2007 - Published: 8/8/2006 - Obito U./Tobi
Love ritual Jashin by HyuugaAngels reviews
Hidan's cloak is ripped and he can't wear it so he goes around with his bare chest, what does Deidara think of this?[One Shot][Lemon] HidaDei HidanxDeidara
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/1/2007 - Deidara, Hidan - Complete
Piano Man and Church Boy by firefly reviews
Hidan and Itachi have to work together to assassinate their target, and due to circumstaces beyond their control, have to crash a wedding to do so.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,924 - Reviews: 643 - Favs: 1,741 - Follows: 155 - Published: 12/5/2006 - Hidan, Itachi U. - Complete
Extasis by firefly reviews
Hidan doesn’t pine for the sensation of skin against skin or the company of others. He regards pleasures of the flesh, and subsequently those who seek it, with utter disdain. He is a child of God, and God loves him. Nothing else matters. Sickfic.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,429 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 22 - Published: 11/22/2006 - Hidan - Complete
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Garden of Eden reviews
With public disapproval, Ingo and Emmet have little time together. A little discovery gives them privacy to do whatever they wish. Blankshipping. Mild sensuality.
Pokémon - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 893 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Emmet, Ingo - Complete
Army Dreamers reviews
After a long war, a young maid's beloved soldier is brought home on his shield. Unable to accept his lover's fate, Feliciano begins to crumble. HRExChibitalia, PrussiaxHRE
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 915 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Published: 2/24/2011 - Holy Roman Empire, N. Italy - Complete
Abschied reviews
He had always felt safe in his arms. Even during times of war, he was there for him. Sometimes, it is best to trust no one. Strongly hinted PrussiaxHRE, character death. Poor summary is poor, I apologize.
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 432 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 1/23/2011 - Holy Roman Empire, Prussia - Complete
Toxic Love reviews
While Kakuzu is married to Hidan, and Sasori to Deidara, that does not stop them from forming a dangerous affair. Rated M for Mature.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 824 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Kakuzu, Sasori
The Flower That Shattered The Stone reviews
Hidan just moved away from the perfect life. Good friends, doing good in school, hot girlfriend. He now has to make it in the most stereotypical school in the U.S. Can he make it? Akatsuki fic AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,178 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Hidan, Kakuzu
Not So Angelic Man reviews
A story of Hidan's life, before everyone else was born, really. I know he is NOT that old, but seriously, just go with me, okay? Rated for Gore, Language, and Adult Themes.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,783 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/3/2009 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu
Paint it Black reviews
A not-so physical fight between Blind-Itachi and Hidan. OC belongs to CuddleWuddleKins. Rated T to be safe.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 871 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Itachi U., Hidan - Complete
Shi Saku Shinu reviews
Kakuzu's dieing. He can't do anything about it... KakuHida. Summary SUCKS, I know, sorry, the story is better than the stupid summary, I hope... WOW, my FIRST First Person POV story EVER! If it sucks, please be NICE about telling me how it sucks!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 821 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/6/2008 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Fangirls and Yaoiboys reviews
An 'intelligent' conversation among the Akatsukis about fans. Icludes: Bishies, bragging, sexy people, excited Uchihas, and a wee bit of music.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 694 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Hidan, Deidara - Complete
Confessions of Akatsuki reviews
Interveiws with all 10 Akatsukis. Yes, even the dead ones. They talk about their childhoods, obsessions, choices they have had to make, and loves.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,004 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/7/2008 - Published: 6/7/2008
Sky is Over reviews
KakuHi fluff, or something of the sort. Before they go into the last fight where Kakuzu dies a pathetic death from f*cking WIND, and Hidan gets blown to smithereens, sadly. Please review... I was just listening to Serj Tankian and I though of this song...
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 507 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 9/20/2008 - Kakuzu, Hidan - Complete
Aim for the Head reviews
The Zombie Twins take on Lord Hokage and Kakashi of the Sharingan. Who will win? KakuHida implied. Rated T to be safe.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,126 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Hidan - Complete
I'm here reviews
This turned out differently than I had planned, but oh well. Hidan witnesses Kakuzu's death during a mission and returns home in a spin of depression. WOW. My first K story... DUUUUDE.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 681 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu
I will Follow you into the Dark reviews
Lyrics by Death Cab for Cutie and quotes from Masashi Kishimoto. This one has ShounenAi implied 'cuz Kakuzu died after Hidan. Yeah, I royally messed up, so if this doesn't make sense or it's stupid, please don't say anything about it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 615 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Kakuzu, Naruto U. - Complete
Six Foot Deep reviews
The Lyrics and Quotes are from Creature Feature and Masashi Kishimoto. It still turned out pretty good. My computer's retarded so the things in the single quotations are thoughts. I'm writing stories to each Akatsukis death. Hidan
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 765 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Hidan, Shikamaru N. - Complete
Hey Noobs! reviews
Mello gets a little annoyed at Matt. I got the last bit of talking from masterchiefette on YouTube. DON'T KILL ME! LoL, I found this hilarious. Teh n00b song.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 520 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Comatose reviews
Uhh... I have no idea... I'm just kinda really depressed right now... This kinda popped into my head...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 675 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
A Carnival to DIE for reviews
A Mysterious Carnival comes to Konoha. Sakura has a very good reason to be suspicious. The song is The Greatest Show Unearthed by Creature Feature.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,251 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 18 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Naruto U., Hidan - Complete
How To Serve Man reviews
Again, Song-fic. Deidara's a new Jashinist, so Hidan wants to help him out with rituals. Things don't go to Deidara's liking. Rated for Gore, Duh.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 641 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Deidara, Hidan - Complete
Akatsuki Musical! reviews
They sing in this one! XD I'm a genious! The song is "A Gorey Demise" by Creature Feature. It's by far one of my favorite songs EVER! Oh, and Konan is off somewhere... Konan-ing it up... or something
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Complete
Wake Up Call reviews
Song-fic. Kakuzu walks in on Hidan cheating on him with Deidara. For x012587Genin for our anniversary... I guess... In hopes that this never happens to us!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 756 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Hidan, Kakuzu - Complete
Happenings Week, a good festival or not? reviews
A yearly Amegakure Festival. Pein Decides to take the Akatsuki to their First time seeing it. What will happen? CRACK-FIC. Contains slight yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,384 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/26/2008 - Published: 5/14/2008