Author has written 1 story for Eleanor and Park.
Hi, I'm a fanfiction-obsessed reader/writer from Canada. I used to be a big fan of Naruto, and I had a few stories up under the name Freestyle Life. After having pretty much gotten over Naruto fanfiction (at least, writing it), I decided to change my username and give myself a fresh start of sorts. I mostly just keep this profile to stay up to date with my favourite fics, many of which I barely remember because they haven't been updated in so long.
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"
"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson
"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg
"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare
"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry
"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin
"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses
"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush
"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss
"In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa
"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld
"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon
"This was an unprevoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein
"I missed one?"-Colonel Sanders
1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
This is this cat. This is is cat. This is how cat. This is to cat. This is keep cat. This is a cat. This is dumbass cat. This is busy cat. This is for cat. This is forty cat. This is seconds cat. Now go back and read the third word in each sentence from the top. Pass it on.
God created man before woman because every masterpiece needs a rough draft.
MENtal pain, MENtal anxiety, MENstrual cramps, MENopause... all our problems start with men!
"Let each of us examine his thoughts; he will find them wholly concerned with the past or the future. We almost never think of the present, and if we do think of it, it is only to see what light it throws on our plans for the future. The present is never without end. The past and the present are our means, the future alone our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live, and since we are always planning how to be happy, it is inevitable that we should never be so." Pascal's Pensées
If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl)Pepper Lemon(Roshaun, Ronan) Second Daughter of Eve (Several, not telling.), Phish Tacko (Edward Cullen, Marty McFly), Hannahpie45(Chad Dylan Cooper, yeah I know, I know, eventually he'll be with Sonny :D but he is so HOT!), House of Anubis (Percy Jackson, Fabian Rutter, Ron Weasley, George Weasley, Harry Potter),angel4eva-15(Zachgoode 4rom Gallagher Girls), loulabel246 (Paul Slater, Jacob Black), blancoroja (Jesse de Silva, Percy Jackson, Itachi Uchiha)
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly
7. Our magazines have horoscopes
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around
5. Our friends don't say "hi" but punching us in the arm
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing
Just in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (That's the only time I have to work on my hair)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how…?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But it's "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (I was hoping it was going to be frozen... darn.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And ... I'm taking this because…??)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about news flash…!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh ... fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and copy and paste this onto your profile to bring a smile to someone (maybe even a chuckle).
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things
Because Everyone In Canada Lives In An Igloo
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website. Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? ( Sweden )
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? ( England )
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? ( USA)
Q:Which direction is North in Canada? ( USA )
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? ( England )
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? ( Germany )
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? ( USA )
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? ( USA )
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )