Darthweezel
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Joined 05-13-08, id: 1575713, Profile Updated: 10-22-08
Author has written 1 story for Final Fantasy X, and Naruto.

Yo, welcome to my profile/Bio. It's not to intersting to say the least. Not really one to fill out these kind of things. Anyways, I like sweets, and playing pool. I don't like onions, peppers, and others. Those things disgust me to the core. I despise yaoi. nuff said.

Remember what was lost and look for what can be found" my saying
"I was lost in darkness and could'nt find the light" Cloud kingdom hearts
...98 of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy & paste

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior,bright black stars,BirdsofPrey9832, Josephine18, Jedipilot24, AtrumUnas, Talonknife, Darthweezel,

I don't really care what others think of me. 'You get what you see', is what I like to say.

Favorite Anime: Ruroni Kenshin/Samuri X. ( Very good plot, he's already very skilled but vowed not to kill, and the characters are very thought out. )

Favorite Game: I actually have two favorites. Kingdom Hearts I and Final Fantasy IX. ( Kingdom Hearts I got the series on the roll. II was decent, but not as good as the first. Final Fantasy IX was GREATLY unappreciated. Play it a second time and you'll come to see it is very fun to play, the music is great, and the story is amazing. )

Favorite Game Character: Squall Lionheart. Why? He's not a depressing character as Cloud was. ( Cloud is a cool character don't get me wrong.) He was more anti-social learning to open up to others slowly, but he doesn't change that much from the beginning. He also doesn't give a crap about saving the world. It just happened to be apart of it. All he wanted to do was protect Rinoa from being possessed from Ultimecia again.

Favorite Game Villian: Kuja. Why? He actually has a purpose for all the mayhem he's causing. He doesn't just want to the destruction of the world. His character is very unique and different from regular crazed villians. Kuja is highly manipulative using people as puppets. Unlike all villians he acts upon fear. He fears death. Kuja does not want to die and he fears it. Driving him to accomplish immortality, yet he continues to be more afraid as he's defeated in Terra. He gains new powers, yet he realizes he will never be immortal and will die. Upon this he finally decides to annihilate every other living soul. If he dies then so does everyone else.

Favorite Anime Character: Kenshin Himora. He's a character who's happy on the outside, yet struggling on the inside. Slowly he learns to come to terms with his past sins. He's a very detailed character and already very skilled in weapons combat. It's hard to describe his character, but he's easily the top anime character around in my opinion.

Favorite Anime Villian: Finding an anime villian is more difficult than I thought. 90 of all anime villians are usually exactly the same. Although I have seen so many animes, I tend to forgot many villians I have seen. Well I know its a really common villian, but he's the only one I could find that's not to too familiar with other villans.

Naraku. As with Kuja he is very manipulative. He hides within the shadows as they know his existence, yet they know nothing of him. Naraku uses people without mercy disposing them when their worth has gone. He leads people blinding allowing them to believe they have the upper hand or on his tail. He picks on people's weaknesses which is usually their minds. Naraku is a pretty laid out anime villian from most. He's a unique character.

Some of my favorite pairings I guess you could say: NarutoxIno ( Both are quite similar and different at the same time, yet would get along if both got to know each other. Hinata is too quiet and shy to be able to bring out the best in Naruto. Sakura bashes to much, as Ino seems the more of argue and stubborn type.),

IchigoxOrihime ( Ichigo and Rukia seem more of a sibling relationship with how they argue and bicker. Orihime seems more relationship partner for Ichigo.) Not that many others that I know of.

AllenWalkerxLenalee or Road. (Both would fit good with a side of Allen. He has two different personalities within. He has the good side which is his more polite and friendliness. Lenalee would fit with this personality. Yet he also has a darker side from travels with his Master. He's a bit more vulgar and physco, but he's still friendly and polite. Road would fit with this personality more than Lenalee. Which is why both would be good a pair with Allen.

Least favorite pairings I suppose: NarutoxHinata ( Don't get me wrong, if the story is written well it works. How ever they are more of a sibling relationship. Naruto the big brother who protects his younger sister with everything. While Hinata admires her older brother and wishes to be a strong as him. I see it as that type of relationship. Not a romantic type. Also there are way to many of this pairing. Need some new pairings out there.)

IchigoxYoroichi or Matsumoto ( Yoroichi and Matsumoto just don't go in with Ichigo's personality. Yoroichi appears to be more of the friend who teases you about flirting and all that, but not romanticly involved. Matsumoto appears to be the annoying friend you can only hang around with every once in a while, but does have her moments. )

Well now that you know about me I'm currently writing, or typing whichever floats your boat, a cross-over between Final Fantasy and Naruto Shippuuden. It's been bothering me for a long time now, so going to make it as best as possible. No over powered god-like Naruto. It's going to be as if they are equals. I don't have plans for who he falls in love with or even if he makes it back. Will be a bit of a surprise. I tend to write on the whim re-read and improve over and over till to my liking. More fun this way without having to plan an outline. To much work if I have to say so.

Funny Quotes:

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

"Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license."

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

"Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway." - Joey Adams

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

A university professor set an examination question in which he asked what is the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A+ to a student who answered: I don't know and I don't care.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.

That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again.

Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.

An inanimate object is only as stupid as its user...which would be me~

This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.

I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly alert.

even an idiot can seem wise if he doesn't talk.

line up in alphebetical order by height, then get into groups of three and make a circle.

the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Don't worry if you die I'll give you 100.

If you die I swear I'll kill you

You can't give up just because things arn't the way you want them to be.

The Laws of Anime

1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.

2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.

3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.

4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.

5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.

6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.

7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.

8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.

9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).

10. Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.

11. Law of Inherent Combustibility
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".

12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission

Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.

13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustibility.

14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.

15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.

16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Storm trooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvers.

17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.

18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.

19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.

20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.

21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...

22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.

23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.

24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.

25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.

26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.

27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.

28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.

29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.

30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.

31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.

32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructible, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons... with bladed weapons!

33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.

34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.

35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.

36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
--Extreme Coolness
--Amazing intelligence
--Incredible Irritation

37. Law of Extra dimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extra dimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.

38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.

39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...

40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of blood flow to that region.

41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.

42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.

43. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.

44. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.

45. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teeny mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.

46. Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission

All anime characters seem to have some unknown chemical on their breath that reacts VERY violently with extremely hot or spicy food. This chemical may also be responsible for the phenomenon of fire behind
the eyes and from the mouth when a character (usually a female) is really angry.

47. Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism

If you get electrocuted or urned, YOU WILL SURVIVE!! Though your entire body will be scorched, seconds later, our skin won’t have a trace of damage (Also known as the "Pikachu Effect").
First Corollary- When a magical bad guy/Alien/monster fires off a flame,
wind, or ice attack, the resulting effect is only enough for the hero(es)/heroine(s) to be standing in the "Walking Against the Wind" stance, with his/her eyes shut and letting out a pathetic "Aaaaagh!", and yet they are never harmed. This may be in part to laws 32, 34 and sometimes 44.

48. Law of Female wrath

If a male character insults a female character, he will
get a mallet, shotgun, or tank blast, or if she is a character that can perform magical feats, a fireball or whatever, to the head, body or whatever (Also known as the "Lina Inverse/Gourry Factor") This is because he always deserves it, and will help him to cope in today’s society. (>Sniff Sniff

49. Law of Artistic Perversion

Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
under the impression that girls are willing to tear off their clothes, or wear VERY small, revealing outfits at the drop of a pin (or pen for that matter).

50. Law of Uninterpretable Nominative Clamovocation

This law is a mixture of Laws 44 and 45. Regardless of how long or involved the Spell or projectile attack is, and the likelihood of success and damage done by the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced, or how many times they’ve seen it before, any "Bad Guys"
witnessing a hero/heroine quoting the incantations for an extremely powerful attack are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it. (Also known as the "Dragon Slave Phenomenon")

51. Law of Telepathic Obliviousness

Most of the time, some Anime characters (usually males) will think personal (Like that he/she has sabotaged something), or perverted thoughts, while near some other character, WHO’S TELEPATHIC!! The reasons for this are:
1) They forgot that the person is telepathic.
2) They just don’t give a damn.
The reasons the telepathic person doesn’t react are:
1) They’re preoccupied with doing something else.
2) They’d rather keep the fact to themselves that they are Telepathic.
3) They just don’t give a damn.

52. Law of Chromatic Diversity

Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.

53.Law of Old Man Comic Relief

Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald, wise-mouthed dirty old man or alien. Or the combination of any two of those traits.
First Corollary- If old man is present, and is acting too horny, stupid,
etc., there will invariably be an old woman to whap him over the head with a frying pan or something.

54. Law of the Wise Old Man

Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and withhold the ending from anyone, especially the hero. This includes special power
weapons, ancient relics, and people who know everything.

55.Law of Omnipotent Unreliability

Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons will never use those powers/weapons against the "Good Guy" until it is too late.
First Corollary- All "Bad Guys" suffer from Antagonistic Boasting Syndrome which require all "Bad Guys" to threaten with or exemplify their prowess and not use it against the "Good Guy".
Second Corollary- No "Bad Guy" may use any new, secret, or superior military device without one of the following events occurring:
a) The control device being broken.
The control device being taken by the "Good Guy".
c) The control device is in fact not the real device at all and was just
"fooled" by the "Good Guy".
d) The "Bad Guy" has already lost and cannot use the device.

56. Law of Minimum Corneal Volume

Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of the face’s total surface area. More so if the case is a blond woman.

57. Law of Electrical Charges in Hair

Hair attracts electricity in abundance, resulting in two outcomes:
a) A positive charge will result in the spikes-flying-everywhere-behind-me
look.

b) A negative charge will result in the hair-cascading-down-to-the-waist-in-a-single-sheet look.

58. Law of Ammunition Accuracy

When there are multiple types of ammunition available (paint balls, speaker pods), non-lethal rounds will always be more accurate when compared to "standard" or lethal shots. (Macross Plus for paint balls, Macross 7 for speaker pods)

59.Law of Active Female Attraction

In a comedy series, a male character’s attractiveness to women is inversely proportional to how active they pursue them. (Tenchi, Ranma, and Makoto OVA have a seemingly endless supply of willing girlfriends despite their lack of romantic skill while Happosai, Ataru, and Carrot
couldn’t get a date despite or because of their constant attempts.)

60.Law of Sweat Pore Variability

When a person is embarrassed, caught in an awkward situation, or otherwise humiliated, all sweat pores on the body contract, except for ones on the forehead. These pores expand to such a degree that a single
drop could fill a Big Gulp from 7-11.

61.The Law of Inverse Training Time

A person who has been training for 3 years is never as good as someone who has been training for one month.

62.Law of Needs to Few and Many

The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few... of even the one.

63.Law of Bad Humor

Whenever someone says something that is intended to be funny, whether actually funny or not, the rest of the characters (even animals) fall to the ground with their feet in the air. Sweat sometimes accompanies the fall.
(The sound of a cow mooing usually accompanies the joke as well.)

64.Law of Extreme Anger

Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the male character with another girl, she becomes extremely strong (despite her usually helpless look) so that she can lift a 1000 ton object to hurt the guy. She can sometimes perform other punishments that are just as cruel such as pinching the guy’s face so hard that it changes shape. (see law #49)

65. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
First Corollary- If the airborne entity exceeds an altitude equal or greater than two times the height of the entity, gravity is decreased by an inverse coefficient relative to the upward momentum and mass/weight (if within at least 500 km of any gravity source) of the entity "jumping".
Second Corollary- The amount of Newtonian "opposite force" (in accordance to normal downward velocity; "Earth gravity" speed is equal to 32ft/sec/sec) is also inversely proportional to the "actual" speed of the airborne entity. In all actuality, an entity that appears to be flying towards a solid concrete parking lot from space will actually land, producing an opposite force of approximately 1.73 lb. of pressure. Unless this particular entity is a "Bad Guy". Then the law exhibits a
mysterious exponentially proportional Newtonian opposite force, thusly increasing this variable by a factor equal to the inverse-gravity potential.

66. Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension

In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases, the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient must be increased by a proportional amount to compensate. In any situation where this does not happen, the "Bad Guy" inevitably comes out on top. However, this usually leads to a further rise in the Ambient Dramatic tension, which will always be offset by an exponential increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient.

67. Law of Coercive Vehicular Control

No matter how complex or well defined the control system, a character controlling a vehicle of any sort always does so through means of undetectable subconscious psychokinesis.

First Corollary- Characters can perform actions with their vehicles which
clearly defy normal physics (see Laws of Metaphysical Irregularity and Constant Thrust). The velocity, attitude and traction of the vehicle appear to be adjusted at will, with the degree of absolute control being proportional to the complexity and lethality of the maneuver.

Second Corollary- It is effectively impossible to remove characters from or
disrupt the passage of their vehicles without the character’s consent. This does not always apply to "Bad Guy" characters or "Good Guy" characters in situations where the Ambient Dramatic Tension could increase in accordance with the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension.

68. Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension

In any situation where the Ambient Dramatic Tension increases without a corresponding increase in the "Good Guy’s" Style Coefficient, not only does the "Bad Guy" usually come out on top, but also his Smugness Factor increases in proportion to the rise in Ambient Dramatic Tension.

69.Law of The Rushing Background Effect

Whenever something dramatic occurs, a survival instinct engages, thus rendering all incoming stimulus that is not directly and immediately to the dramatic situation at hand a meaningless blur. This is often referred to as "The Rushing Background Effect". Due to the increase in brain activity and adrenaline levels in the bloodstream, the scene is often played out in slow motion.

70.Law of Inter dimensional Hammers

Whenever a female character witnesses a male character of her preference performing any sort of questionable act (i.e. Looking at another girl or anything she might construe as perverted) she can reach into an inter dimensional realm (usually behind her back) and withdraw a huge Anime Mallet of Doom with which to whack the said male over the head with. (see Laws # 37, 49, and 65)

71.Law of Instant Band-Aids

Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head shot, maybe from a mallet whack) Band-Aids will always instantly appear on the wounded individual (and always in pairs, set in a cross fashion). These bandages will then, most likely, disappear by the character’s next scene.

72.Law of Universal Edge Defense

Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to a hail of bullets, can be easily defended against by holding a suitably cool-looking sword or other bladed weapon between the attacker and defender, usually so that the edge cuts into the incoming attack(s), causing both halves to go flying harmlessly past the defender. Observed most often in fantasy and martial arts anime.

73.Law of Intractable Sanity

There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When faced with horrifying supernatural forces that would drive most men mad, anime characters will either:
a) Die quickly (but in accordance with all other laws e.g., slowdown and
exposition),
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
position to ravish beautiful girls, or
c) Kill them, wipe the blood off their blades, and walk on whistling.

74.Law of Celestial Body Control

At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
summon a sun/moon/halo to appear behind him/her to cause a dramatic silhouette.

75. Law of Aura of Forgetfulness

Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a secret will invariably succeed regardless of disguise because everyone around him/her will forget everything. Otherwise, how does Sailor Moon keep her disguise?

76. Law of Cool Hair Factor

The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick strands that drape his face into a dramatic fashion, regardless of wind, the elements, etc. (See Laws 32 & 48)

77. Law of Inverse Coping

Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST capable of dealing with it.

78.Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability

The Myth that certain martial arts will enable you to become so strong, that you can stop a nuclear warhead with your bare palm. Unfortunately, for most otaku, they found the hard way that it just doesn’t work in real life...

79. Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics

If a captain of any type of ship is male, he will invariably wear a big captain’s cap, a long overcoat, and have a shaggy beard and mustache (pipe optional), and be a great tactician. If the captain is female, however, she will invariably be young, well endowed, and ditzy as a pole (horny father optional). Yet, she too will be a great tactician.

80.Law of Shades/Coolness Factor

Shades can make you instantly cool, even if you’re normally a klutz.

81.Law of Understatement

Anything that is deemed too impossible will become possible.
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
hero is accomplishing some new feat/move/projectile will find out too late that he is wrong and will invariably be toasted.

82.Law of Dormant Powers

Anytime a hero is somehow out powered and/or outclassed by the villain, he will invariably release powers/new moves he never knew he could accomplish... but his old teacher did!

83.Law of Style Coefficient

In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire straits, he will become stronger, smarter and more cool in a matter of seconds. (See Laws #67, 69, and 84)

84.Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor

Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
beating the hero, they will begin to gloat uncontrollably, because they’ve never won against the "Good Guy" (because they’re Eeeviiil!!). They usually get so cocky, they tie the hero to a conveyor belt leading to his doom and leave to get a snack. Usually this results in:
a) The hero escaping.
b) Clean-up for the underlings.
c) The villain getting toasted.

85. Law of Tableware Nonexistence

There IS no spoon.

86. Law of Hero Identification

All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
while someone talking about their (in)famous-ness, or by way of a voice-over of them introducing themselves.

87. Law of Cute Mascots

Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at least one cute, furry little mascot by penalty of death!
First Corollary- If it is a Shonen Anime, the hero will be accompanied by a Dog, Cat or any kind of animal, real or fake, That would be found with a hero of the male persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with girls that is following him around is there because:
1) It’s his girlfriend’s.
2) It is following him, despite his insistence not to do so.
3) Chicks will dig him more.
Second Corollary- If it is a Shojo Anime, the heroine will be accompanied by a cat, cute little mouse, or some disgustingly cute monster, or any kind of animal, real or fake, that would be found with a hero of the female persuasion. Any animal that would be associated with guys that is following her around is there because:
1) It’s her boyfriend’s.
2) It is following her, despite her insistence not to do so.
3) It makes her look cool.

88. Law of The Force

Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability that enables bad things to happen to those that deserve it or makes things like bullets or debris totally miss them (Also referred to as "Dumb Luck"), even though
they are mostly unaware of it. Those who have this ability include Vash the Stampede, Captain Justy Ueki Tylor, and Jar Jar Binks.

89.Law of Cat Fighting

Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
sometimes ripping off clothes. Sometimes it escalates so much, that property damage begins to occur.
First Corollary- A running fight can be so destructive; you can follow it
from a distance just by watching for the smoke. (Also known as the "A-ko/ B-ko Thing")

90.Law of Healing

Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that enables them to regenerate from a massive wound or broken bone within minutes. Being immortal sometimes helps.

91.Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics

All ships, either waterborne or
space borne, have the following crew members:
1) The captain
2) His Lieutenant
3) Various female technical staff
4) A hotshot pilot
5) A cute little girl/twins (either stowaways or not)
6) The Doctor
7) The Doctor’s assistant (either a spy or not)
Weighted among the crew are various quirks which include:
1) Extreme coolness/luck
2) Amazing Intelligence
3) Incredible irritation
4) Extreme cuteness
5) Irresponsible drunkenness
6) Homophobias
7) Emotionless (Idiots.)

92. Law of Spark lines

Whenever a character of the main character’s interest appears, flowers, sparkles, or abstract circles of pastel colors appear around said character, or both. Roses with exaggerated thorns appear when it is dangerous love. No one knows why this is, though most have a theory: Anime characters are freaks!

93. Law of Anime Events

Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen

Ninja and Guardians Cross reviews
Cross between Final Fantay and Naruto Shippuuden. Jiraiya's seals go wrong ripping Naruto through another Dimension. Join Naruto as he searches for his way home.
Crossover - Final Fantasy X & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 92,510 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 417 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 4/6/2009 - Published: 5/24/2008 - Naruto U.