Author has written 6 stories for Twilight, Avengers, Harry Potter, Batman Begins/Dark Knight, and Star Trek: 2009.
Happy Almost Easter!
I have been desperatly trying to edit the next chapter for To Touch The Stars but I just don't like it...I'm scrapping it and starting again. Sorry.
Playing with the rest of them...really been sucked into Marvel lately...ahh...
My semester end is drawing close so life is getting crazy sorry for slow updates guys!
My friend made an amazing trailer for To Touch the Stars!
Check it out :)
She also made a lovely pic for Spock/Hermione:
She rocks! XD
The wonderful Ills has a tumbler site where she records herself reading stories and she is working on A Frosty Heart if you want to check it out!
I have an amazing friend on Youtube who has been making Spock/Hermione vids for me! Check 'em out! :)
I have Straight Pride but I also believe that someones sexuality shouldn't be brought into question when looking at their character. What matters is what you bring to the table not what you do in private. Whether I agree or disagree with you, you are still Imago Dei and worthy of respect.
I met this amazing writer in my English class and discovered she has a blog for her writing! Check it out! XD
ARE YOU NOW AS MUCH IN LOVE WITH LOKI-NATASHA AS I AM?? There is this amazing vid artist on Youtube called itzcalledrushing, she does a lot of different vids but her Loki-Natasha ones are my muse for A Frosty Heart! Check out her stuff, it's great!
All For You
You laugh at me because I am different, but I laugh at you because you are all the same Unknown
Fred-Hermione or George-Hermione
Fred-Luna or George-Luna
Have any good stories for them, or other random pairings? Let me know!!
I also write as _Keeper_ on Harrypotterfanfiction.com so check out some of my stories there!! = )
As for a little about myself: I love to write, I have wicked cool blue-grey eyes, I love UK accents, I love to make graphics (I use paint and photobucket--whoot!), I love being weird, and I love to laugh.
If you are curious about anything else just PM me = ) I don't bite...well, too hard...
TEAM SETH: He can imprint on me anytime.
TEAM CATO: Cus he's hot! 'nuff said ; )
TEAM HAWKEYE: Can shoot Cupid's arrow into my heart anytime.
For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. bolded ones apply to me
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
65 percent of teenagers would rather watch T.V. than read. If you are one of the 35 percent that would rather have their nose stuck in a book, copy this in your profile.
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
95 percent of teenagers care about popularity. If you like pretzels, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your arse off.
93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.
At least 90% of humans would not run down the halls of School screaming 'OH MY JASHIN! JASPER IS COMING!' because you gave yourself a papercut on your finger. If you are part of the 10% who would copy & paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: AkatsukiAngel1, macymay201, JasperAlecLuver, xXKeeperXx
98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.
98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that disclaimers are the most annoying things EVER Copy and paste this to your profile
If you've ever wanted to scream at the top of your lungs for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are in love with a character from a book/movie/TV/actor show etc, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever read a book and wanted to yell at the author for killing off your favourite character. Copy and Paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever burst into song for no reason copy and paste this to your profile
If you know someone that should be hit by a bus copy and paste this to your profile
If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.
If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.
If you flip whenever you see someone reading a Twilight series book and you want to talk to them all about it, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone mentions Twilight, and you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Jasper" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you dream of killing a character in a book so you can go out with their boyfriend, post this in your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your profile.
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile
If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.
If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.
If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you spend multiple hours a day reading or writing or a combination of both, copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile
If you have read past 2 in the morning, copy this onto your profile.
If you get ticked and throw a fit until all the people in the room leave because someone said the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy this onto your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
15 THINGS TO DO AT WALL-MART:
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"
IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you are one of the endangered species because Carlisle Cullen/ Peter Facinelli orJasper Hale/Jackson Rathbone is a hell of a lot hotter then copy and paste this into your profile.
XxX Quotes XxX
You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you are all the same.
If life gives you lemons make apple juice and leave the world wondering how the hell you did it. = )
You smile, I smile. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda.
I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.
The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf.
Nobody move! I dropped my brain.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
"Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them."
Education is important; school however, is another matter.
I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.
Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
What to say to bad pickup lines:
Man: Where have you been all my life? Women: Hiding from you.
Man: I would go to the ends of the earth for you. Women: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Women: Did it hurt when you were dropped on your head repeatedly as a baby?
Man: Haven't I see you some place before? Women: Yes, that is why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Hey babe, what is your sign? Women: Do Not Enter.
Man: Your place or mine? Women: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
When in doubt, make words up!
Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly
If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!
I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!
If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
I like you. When I take over the world, your death will be quick and painless.
A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.
Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...
Shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark.
Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick
Mommy I am only 8 inches long but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Mommy today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
You know what Mommy I'm a boy! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Mommy my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy! HELP me!
Mommy I am okay. I am in Jesus's arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy?
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped. Two more eyes that will never see. Two more hands that will never touch. Two more legs that will never run. One more mouth that will never speak.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cryed post this in your profile
9 Things I Hate About Everyone: ; )
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?
5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Idiot, I paid 12 to come to the movies and stare at the damn floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, Stupid?
This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!
You know you live in the 21st Century when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job...
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
Things I am not to do at Hogwarts
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand
11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it
16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day"
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate
27) I will not steal Gryffindor sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways
28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice
50) I will not attack my fellow classmates
51) I will not make an impossible riddle for people to give an answer to enter the Ravenclaw area
RANDOM FACT FOR THE DAY!
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love
This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic
Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair
She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound
Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear And softly cries She loves her parents But they want her to die
She sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "Please God, why is My life always sinking? "
Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did
Then one night Her mom came home high And the poor child was beaten As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made
She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "You deserve to die You worthless piece of s!"
The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dying She grabbed her bear And again started crying
Police showed up At the small little house Then quickly barged in Everything quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly Opened a door To find the little girl Lying dead on the floor
It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms
(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)
WHAT A KISS MEANS
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready"
Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything"
Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck = "We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you"
Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means...
Holding Hands = "We definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt = "That's mine"
Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"
Dont ask for a kiss, take one
If you were thinking about someone while reading this, you're definitely in Love.
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line.
If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6.
If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you.
If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9.
If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later.
If you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
Things to think about
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?
Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?
Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?
Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?
Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?
Just 'cus I'm a Christian, doesn't mean I'm perfect. I screw up like everyone else, the only difference between me and everyone else is that I believe in a Savior that forgives me and works through my faults with me. I'm not perfect, but I won't give up.
What does kill you... usually succeeds in the second attempt.
Parents spend the first half of your life teaching you to walk and talk, and the other half telling you to sit down and shut up.
Smile. It confuses people.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't--Hey! Nice carpet!"
There are no stupid questions...just stupid people.
You know it's a bad day when you roll off the bed...and miss the floor.
My imaginary friend thinks you have issues.
Flying is very simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.
It's you and me against the world...we attack at dawn.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.
He who laughs last didn't get it.
We can take a lesson from Crayons. Some are sharp(most aren't, though), some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are unique, but they all learn to live together in the same box.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you are all the same.
It's Band GEEK, not Band NERD. If you are going to try to insult me, at least do it right!
I'm the kind of person who walks into a door then apologizes.
Don't look at me in that tone!
When I'm at Hogwarts, I will not ask Harry if his Scar Senses are tingling.
Act your Age, not your shoe size.
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh harder.
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp, pointy things. You should run from Bob.
WARNING! Do NOT walk in my footsteps. I run into walls...and off the occasonal cliff...like Bella.
I'm not afraid of death. What's it going to do? Kill me?
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone!
Why spell it out to you if I can scream it in your face?
When life gives you lemons, make Grape juice, sit back, and watch the world wonder how you did it.
If you can't beat them, join them
How come parents always say, "Don't take candy from strangers," But on Halloween, it is encouraged?
Your mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, then it's gone.
The past is just the future with the lights on.
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
"Secret Admirers" are just stalkers with stationary.
How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. 'I wonder why I talk to myself?')
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. 'Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word 'deliver' could mean removing someone's liver?')
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, 'Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!'
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else's e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no 'apparent' reason.
-If your friends don't even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.
-And finally, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word
NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or i'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or i'll get james to kill you
NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula
TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires
NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )
NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON
NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile!
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1.At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4.Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7.Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8Dont use any punctuation
9.As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10.Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13.Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14.Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15.Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16.Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17.When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18.When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20.And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!
ONE DAY A DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE AND THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. HIS LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE CAME AND TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL TO A NEW FAMILY. HER FIRST DAY TO SUNDAY SCHOOL SHE WALKS INTO THE BUILDING AND SEES A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.
THE LITTLE GIRL ASKS THE TEACHER: How did that man get off the cross?
THE TEACHER REPLIED: He never did.
THE LITTLE GIRL ARGUED: Yes he did when mommy and daddy fought he sat next to me behind the couch telling me everything was gonna be alright...
66 of u won't repost this. Let us spread God's love with no shame.
You see children, Cedric didn't die, he simple ran to Forks, Washington, convienced Carlisle Cullen to turn him into a vampire, and changed his name to Edward Cullen. Don't believe me? Watch Twilight.
"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." - William Wordsworth
"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia." - E. L. Doctorow
list twelve of your favorite Twilight characters in no particular order.
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
I like 3 better ; )
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Well...that would be interesting since eight is a MALE.
4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
Yep = )
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple
Jasper and Jacob? Um...no.
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
I'm alright with five/nine, but five/ten involves incest...*shutter*
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Well it would be Alec Volturi walking in on Alice and Jasper having sex...and they are married so maybe he would just be embaressed.
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Charlie is wondering how he can help fix Bella after Edward left her in the woods. He sees Embry, a straping young man from La Push and decides to play CUPID!
9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Seth and...Quil? NO! NO NO NO NO NO!
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
11. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?
I don't know, is there a song about a wolf shape shifter falling in love with a two year old? 0.o
12. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
WARNING: WEREWOLFS PLAYING WITH A PSYCHIC!
13. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
I think so.
14. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
I hope so! That would be interesting! XD
15. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
My gun is loaded and I'm ready to fire!
16. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I actually stopped reading the flic so I could do this quiz which I found on the authors profile ; )
17. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (12)
So Seth is with Alec, but then Seth runs off with Emmett leaving Alec heartbroken but has a hot one-night stand with Rosalie and an unhappy affair with Jacob then follows the advice of Bella and finds true love with Alice...are you confused cus I am!
18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight were in a fight?
Woot! TEAM ALEC!
19. What would you think if you found (5) was a really good friend of a sibling or relative of yours?
Damn, does that mean Bella is going to mope around HERE now?
20. How would you react if you saw (8) and (11) in a closet together with a rubber ducky?
Quil and Rose with a rubber ducky?...Can I bring my stuffed penguin?
21. How would you feel if (2) dissed you in the worst possible way ever?
I would make sure a human was around him next time he was hungry...*evil laugh*
22. If you saw (9) and (3) in bed together, what would you do?
23. What would you say if you found out that (12) was a rapist?
Shouldn't she have seen this coming?
24. You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find (10) rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?
Um..what is a made-up character doing looking for socks?
25. What would you think if (1) was emo and had tried to slit his/her wrists? If (1) is already emo/slit his/her wrists already, what would you think if (1) became the most optimistic person in the world?
Seth! NOOO! YOU CAN'T BE EMO!
26. What would you feel this second if (4) gave you a daisy right now.
Aren't you like...600?
27. (6) has just stolen your hairbrush. What is the first thing you would say
You better not be cleaning out your undercoat with that!
28. (7), (9), and (4) have banded together at 3 in the morning and starts to sing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is the first thing you think
Alec, Emmett, and Carlise just made a band...is the end of the world soon?
29. (2) and (11) are your teachers. What would you do?
Love Jazz...but I'd hide from Rose...
36 Things to do in an Elevator
1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
What Ever Girl Deserves And Few Really Get
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
When a boy is quiet ... millions of things are running in his mind.
When a boy is not arguing .. he is thinking deeply.
When a boy looks at you with eyes full of questions .. he is wondering how long you will be around.
When a boy answers 'I'm fine ' after a few seconds ... he is not at all fine.
When a boy stares at you .. he is wondering why you are lying.
When a boy let you lays on his chest .. he is wishing for you to be his forever.
When a boy wants to see you everyday... he wants to be yours forever.
When a boy says ' I love you '...he means it.
When a boy says ' I miss you '...no one in this world can miss you more
Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person...
Find a Guy...
Who calls you beautiful instead of hot...
Who calls you back when you hang up on him...
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead...
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats...
Who holds your hand in front of his friends...
Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you...
Who turns to his friends and says, 'That's her!! '
What a TRUE boyfriend would do for you:
When she walks away from you mad
When she stare's at your mouth
When she pushes you or hits you
When she start's cussing at you
When she's quiet
When she ignore's you
When she pull's away
When you see her at her worst
When you see her start crying
When you see her walking
When she's scared
When she lay's her head on your shoulder
When she steal's your favorite hat
When she tease's you
When she doesnt answer for a long time
When she look's at you with doubt
When she say's that she like's you
When she grab's at your hands
When she bump's into you
When she tell's you a secret
When she looks at you in your eyes
When she misses you
When you break her heart
When she says its over
When she repost this bulletin
I know I'm not perfect,
Anything else you'd like to throw at me?
This is a story about YHWH. Read if you believe in Bim, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone.
Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Calling me Fake, won't make you Real.
March 19, 2012 -- xXTeamxSethXx
This poem was shared with me by my Math Professor on my last day of class and it really just touched me. He had a rough Senior Year (just one thing after another) and he shares this with all of his classes on the last day - now he is blessed with a great life and a beautiful bride.
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. To weep is to risk being called sentimental. To reach out to another is to risk involvement. To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self. To place your ideas, your dreams before the crowd is to risk being called naive. To love is to risk not being loved in return. To live is to risk dying. To hope is to risk despair, and to try is to risk failure. But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he's forfeited his freedom. Only the person who risks is truly free.
-- Leo F. Buscaglia
BEST HUNGER GAMES JOKE EVER!
Girl On Fire Boy With Bread = TOAST!
(\ _ /)
This is Bunny.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, Nova Ride, Unicorns.Bubbles.AWESOMENESS,Awesomeunicorn723,Natura Nature, xXCourageousXx
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE
The Atheist Professor vs the Christian Student
"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"So you believe in God?"
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could... in fact most of us would if we could...God doesn't." [No answer.] "He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?" [No answer] The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. "Let's start again, young fella...Is God good?"
"Is Satan good?"
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking, student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Who created evil? [No answer] "Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?" [No answer] The professor suddenly shouts at his student. "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice: "God created all evil, didn't He, son?" [No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "how is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?" [No answer] "Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" [Pause] "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and whispers, "Is God good?" [No answer] "Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus...in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?" [No answer] "Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID...you haven't?"
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?" [The student doesn't answer] "Sit down, please."
The Christian sits...Defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold.
The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. Because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just..," [Silence fills the room] "...the absence of it." [More silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.] "Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error..."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?" The class is all ears.
"Explain...oh explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."
The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?" [The teacher is temporarily speechless.] The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?" [The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.] "Professor. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is-that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED?" the professor splutters. The class is in uproar.
The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?" [The professor wisely keeps silent.] The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out in laughter.The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain...felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?" No one appears to have done so. The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no-one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no brain."
The class is in chaos. The Christian sits... Because that is what a chair is for.
If you believe in God, copy, paste in your profile, then add your name to the list: Doctor Frostybuscus, xXCourageousXx
Greek god/goddess quiz! Camp Halfblood here I come...since Hogwarts never did send me that acceptance letter...
Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE
CHILD OF ZEUS
You like being in charge.
You often wish you could just zap someone with a thunderbolt.
You were voted Class President.
You do what’s best for everyone.
You think you have what it takes to run for President.
You think every problem has a solution.
You love showing off.
You like plane rides
You are hydrophobiac
CHILD OF POSEIDON
You feel at home in the water.
Your favorite vacation place is at the beach.
You enjoy snorkeling, scuba diving, surfing, etc.
You want to do something about the marine species being abused today.
You visit the local pool on a regular basis.
You swim professionally.
You hate seafood.
You never get seasick.
You’d rather ride a boat than a plane.
You are acrophobiac
CHILD OF HADES
You’re not that much of a people person.
You like staying in the dark and writing.
You experience bad moods on a regular basis.
You like listening to loud, angry music.
You spend most of your time alone.
You think parties are sometimes loud and annoying.
You like to keep to yourself.
All your closets are padlocked (or you wish they could be)
You write in diary/journal/blog. (If you count writing my original fics a diary)
You feel most active at night.
CHILD OF DEMETER
You own a garden. (I wish I could)
You like the great outdoors.
You have a green thumb.
You’re an environmentalist.
You have a special connection with animals.
You’re a vegetarian.
You like going hiking, camping, and looking at the natural wonders of the world.
You always check a product if it’s environmentally-friendly.
You love going to flower shops.
You think global warming is a threat that must be dealt with.
CHILD OF ARES
You often start fights.
You’re a very aggressive type of person.
You like watching wrestling.
You like reading about war.
You don’t take crap from anybody.
You have anger management.
You never back away from a fight.
Everyone does what you say.
You don’t always think before you do something. (I think EVERYONE has this problem personally…)
CHILD OF ATHENA
You have an insatiable thirst for knowledge
You’re probably the only person who visit the library on a regular basis.
Half of your Christmas presents last year were books.
You like reading about war, mostly about the reasons and controversies behind it.
You’re the valedictorian in your class.
You’ve never gotten a grade below 80 in your report card.
You get political jokes without asking people to explain them.
You think it would be better if you were the President.
You have a huge shelf of books at home.
You think vinyl pocket protectors are useful
CHILD OF APOLLO
You’re very creative and artistic. (I like to think I am…)
You like listening to all kinds of music in general.
You always feel sunny and optimistic.
You are talented at drawing.
You like writing poetry.
You can play at least 3 musical instruments.
You like going to art museums.
You almost always win 1st Place in Art Contests.
You have straight A's in Art on your report card.
Your school notebook has more doodles than notes.
HUNTER OF ARTEMIS
You dislike boys in general.
A deer is one of your favorite animals
You can shoot targets (whoot! Go archery!)
You like silver.
You like the moon better than the sun
Zoe Nightshade is awesome
You love wild animals
You spend most of your time outdoors.
You love to move around the place
Hunting is not cruel, if it's to hunt down monsters
CHILD OF HEPHAESTUS
You have a way with tools.
You build awesome things during your free time.
You’re the best at Woodshop in your class.
Metalworking is your forte.
You have your own toolbox.
You often search the Internet to look for pictures of robots.
You’re a techie.
You often have carpentry projects.
You dream of being a carpenter.
You aren’t afraid of fire.
CHILD OF APHRODITE
Every guy/girl swoons for you.
You like putting on makeup.
You naturally smell good.
You never experience a bad hair day.
Your favorite activity is clothes-shopping.
You’re always at the front of every trend.
You’re the popular girl/guy at your school.
You’re often invited to parties.
Your motto is ‘It’s never a party without me.”
You look at yourself in the mirror on a regular basis. (doesn’t everyone? O.o)
CHILD OF HERMES
You like pickpocketing your friends.
You’re a prankster.
You’re a speed demon.
You consider yourself restless.
You’re the best speaker in the class.
You like thinking on your feet and using your wits
You’re inventive and resourceful.
You often start arguments.
You’ve never lost a debate.
You like making witty and sarcastic statements.
CHILD OF DIONYSUS
You’re the life of the party.
You like wine.
You’ve probably tasted every alcoholic drink out there.
You can finish a martini in less than a minute.
You have a happy, cheerful disposition.
You’re a foodie.
You like going to social events and mingling with people.
You like trying out new food.
You feel that you’re abundant in life.
You think that too much of anything is bad.
Apparently I am a Huntress of Artemis…which is odd because I plan on being married one day o.o
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