forever and three more seconds
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Joined 05-15-08, id: 1577215, Profile Updated: 03-20-11
Author has written 7 stories for Harry Potter.


Name: Forever And Three More Seconds

Real Name: Ruth

About Me:
I'm female, nineteen and gay. End of.

Oh, and I'm addicted to (amongst other things) 'copy-and-pasting'.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak to my face. I am the girl that doesn't have Facebook or My Space, and hasn't turned her mobile on in months. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. I am the girl who doesn’t care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her and knows the importance of the little things.

I'm the Anti-Hero

Alone, broody, and so insanely cool it hurts.

Which character are you? Find out at

Copy And Pasting: clearly my favourite hobby. It's just so FUN!


FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

!FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

You know you live in 2009 when:

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Controversial Issues:

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
Re-post this if you believe in legalizing gay marriage

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Repost this if you think homophobia is wrong

If you are about to take a deep breath and read all these things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have walked into a room and then absolutely forgotten what you went in there to do, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep had the same tune.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. If you agree with me, copy and paste this to your profile.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. If your room makes you think this, copy this to your profile.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3? If you have ever said this, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this into your profile.

If you use shift and not caps lock, paste this in your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a crush on a book character copy this to your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with FanFiction, put this into your profile.

If fanfiction is to you what myspace is to other people, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you'd be like in a parallel universe, put this on your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like, two reviews (or maybe even one review...), add this to your profile

Geeks are smart. Geeks are cool. Geeks make up over 70 percent of the Universe's populace, or this one's, anyway. So geeks overpower all the rich and popular people, anyway. If you are a geek and proud of it, put this on your profile.

If you probably need a life but have no intentions of getting one, put it on your profile.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, put this in your profile.

A large percentage of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you are one of the ones that do and want to deck 'em, put this in your profile.

If you think Writer's Block is evil, put this in your profile.

Did you know the average American only reads 3 books a year? If you don't believe that it's even possible to read that little, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then copy and paste this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're aware that so many people pretend to be something they're not, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If there are times where you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.

If you have ever stared at a computer screen for hours and hours reading stories that people who have no lives whatsoever and have enough obsession with something to write a story about it have written, and you are one of the aforementioned people, copy and paste this into your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your profile if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over. Cut and paste to your profile if that is so true.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read, if you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile

It takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 muscles to reach out and btch slap that motherfcker who made you frown. If you have ever done this, copy this into your profile.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. If you laughed, copy this to your profile.

WHETHER IT'S BETWEEN TWO MALES, TWO FEMALES, OR A MALE AND A FEMALE, LOVE IS LOVE!! ...if you agree, put this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you almost always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy this into your profile.

If your most common word is 'WHAT!?' copy this in your profile.

If you like chocolate put this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boy/girlfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.
If you then dumped your vampire boy/girlfriend because they prefered the giant bloodsucking octopus that lives next door, copy this into your profile.
If you then ran away and fell in love with a hobbit, copy this into your profile.
If you then died of laughter, copy this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that every month you come back and reread your profile just for kicks, copy this into your profile.

If you can't believe you just admitted that, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have died, but just quietly reincarnated yourself and didn't tell anyone, copy and paste that you havent died yet onto your profile, then copy and paste this in littler letters.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this onto it to make it even longer.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.


!You love hoodies.
!You love jeans.
!Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
!You've played with/against boys on a team.
!Shopping is torture.
!Sad movies suck.
!You own/ed an X-Box.
!Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
!Baggy pants are cool to wear.
!It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
!Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
!You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total: 12


You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
!You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
!Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

Total: 2
Funny, I wouldn't have said I was a tomboy.

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club (that is the best part of dating is cuddling!)

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'


You talk to yourself a lot.
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someones liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, 'Holy crap, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Bold the ones that apply to you.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid and stuck up.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I love SHOPPING, so I MUST be rich.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST love potatoes.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I read comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be encouraging abortion.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I'm HOMESCHOOLED, so I MUST have no life or friends.
I'm on a TEAM, so I MUST hate everyone that's not.

About My Stories: I started reading fanfiction about three years ago, and began writing it at least two years ago. I have over twenty stories and plots started, but due to the fact that I find it hard to finish stories, and my intense dislike for stories that have been abandoned, I will never post a story that is unfinished. When I do post a story, I do it all in one go, and have no intention of going back and answering all reviews I get. If you do review my stories, thank you, and I assure you I do read them.

About My Favourite Stories: I only ever upload one story from each author I read, but as a general rule all the stories on their pages are good, so please read the rest of the works if you choose to find stories from my favourites list.
Also: Favourite stories not on this site include:

http:// jeconais. /This(space)Means(space)War/ index/
Title: This Means War
Harry/Ginny, lots of lovely Voldemort plot and other magical creatures, plus The Weasley Quidditch Team (tm) and all those little things you've never realised were missing from most stories. Featuring Good!Sevvie and Comedian!Sirius, starts after fifth year.

http:// bobmin. /Sunset(space)Over(space)Britain/ index/
Title: Sunset Over Britain
Well, if you haven't read this yet, what are you doing hanging around on my tacky, third-rate profile? This fic looks to be darn close to Rowling's original series size. Featuring Harry/Hermione and a whole bunch of crazy, whacked out stuff that I absolutely adored! Fairly dark, if you didn't infer that from the title.

http:// hpfandom .net/ eff/viewstory. php? sid=5554
Title: Bruise Pristine
A Dom!Severus, sub!Harry relationship, EXTREMELY mature content.

http:// hpfandom .net/ eff/viewstory. php? sid=1189
Title: Tequila
Pretty fluffy, Severus/Harry again, basically follows the story beginning with the two waking up in bed together with hangovers and memory loss.

http:// www. /MidnightBlue/ story.php? storyid=2
Title: The Mirror Of Maybe
This fic annoys me so much, I swear the author updates once a year and I've lost hope of it ever being finished. Harry gets sucked into an enchanted mirror that takes him through thirteen years, then drops him back at the end of his fourth year to do it all again... with some changes. Severus/Harry pairing.

http:// hpfandom .net/ eff/viewstory. php? sid=13237
Title: Pretty Little Slut
Harry/Kingsley; not too much in the way of plot, lots in the way of Crossdressing!Harry. This author (all hail) also writes Harry/Severus, Harry/Charlie, Harry/Ron, Bill/Neville, Draco/Zabini and more.

http:// thetwobroomsticks .slashcity .net /forkintheroad .html
Both of these authors write Harry/Severus, Harry/Draco and a few other pairings. They are incredibly good and there is no way I could choose my favourite story from either of them. They range from short scenes to long, incredibly detailed stories.

http:// hpfandom .net/ eff/viewstory. php? sid=1689
Title: The Hiss Of The Serpent
Lily/Bellatrix, Marauder era, all sex, no plot, absolutely amazing. I don't feel the need to expound on that.

http:// www. thesilversnitch. net/tss1 /viewstory. php?sid=6615 &warning=6
Title: Lockdown
Harry/Draco, Blaise/Hermionie, Ron/Millicent, Pansy/Seamus. Forced to stay together for two days due to an emergency, an alcoholic game of 'I have never' ends up with four new couples to show to the school.

http:// hpfandom .net/ eff/viewstory. php? sid=5678
Title: Chronicles Of A Last Year
Fred/Severus/George. While not technically 'twincest', the twins get a lot closer than real incest-haters would like. Contains MAJOR character death.

http:// hpfandom .net/ eff/viewstory. php? sid=7595
Title: Smitty The Basilisk
The Absolute funniest fic I have read in a long time. Harry/Severus, Hermionie/Ron, Main Pairing: Draco/Smitty. Yes, this is the basilisk. It adapts to human society, becomes a shapeshifter, turns into a human teenager, has sex with Draco and fights for his rights as a human. In much better words and slightly longer chapters, of course.

A/N take out the spaces to get the links to work.

And Finally: If you are slightly insane/depressed and need a good laugh, read this:
It is a parody on bad grammar and Mary-Sues, read the A/N at the end and DON'T FLAME IT! This is not the actual quality of this author's writing.

Have fun reading!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Daatyod by Deletedaccountnolongeractive reviews
Saving reviews
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1 - Reviews: 1925 - Favs: 3,578 - Follows: 880 - Updated: 12/17/2017 - Published: 6/11/2008 - Neville L. - Complete
The Marriage Stone by Josephine Darcy reviews
SSHP. To avoid the machinations of the Ministry, Harry must marry a reluctant Severus Snape. But marriage to Snape is only the beginning of Harry's problems. Voldemort has returned, and before too long Harry's marriage may determine the world's fate.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 78 - Words: 382,044 - Reviews: 15380 - Favs: 10,209 - Follows: 8,854 - Updated: 11/22/2016 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
The Birth of Evil by DisobedienceWriter reviews
Tom Riddle was able to use magic long before he received a wand. In this AU, Harry has the same grasp on his magic...and a hatred for Muggles... Watch the birth of evil. Smart!Dark!Evil!Harry, All 7 Years
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 25,965 - Reviews: 875 - Favs: 6,030 - Follows: 1,612 - Updated: 1/26/2015 - Published: 3/15/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
The Mirror of Erised by missilemuse reviews
Mycroft finds the Mirror of Erised; and a convenient sample group. Enter Sherlock and Co.! So what's your heart's deepest desire? The Mirror of Erised which features in HP book 1 shows 'the deepest,most desperate desire of our heart.' Enjoy!
Crossover - Harry Potter & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,390 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 352 - Follows: 42 - Published: 12/2/2011 - Complete
A Place for Warriors by owlsaway reviews
Dumbledore locks Harry and Snape in the Room of Requirement. Harry's magic works, and Snape's doesn't. Will they kill each other? No slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 114,507 - Reviews: 1646 - Favs: 2,109 - Follows: 1,108 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Ten Facts About Fitzwilliam Darcy by Peradan reviews
Everything we always knew about Darcy.
Pride and Prejudice - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 273 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/5/2011 - Complete
Black and Blue by Atlin Merrick reviews
Why do so many of us love hurting our lovely Sherlock? Whether that thought intrigues you, it's certainly on the mind of John Watson. A doctor who has started to do things to his lover he never, ever thought he'd do.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,578 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 12/7/2010 - Published: 11/25/2010 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Monster by Maybe the Moon reviews
"And just what is the plan, Sherlock?" John shouted. "Go to prison? You assaulted a police officer – no court won't convict you." He ran a hand over his face. "What could possibly be worth risking your freedom?"
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,039 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 38 - Published: 11/7/2010 - John W., Sherlock H. - Complete
Knock Three Times by Cheryl Dyson reviews
When Teddy Lupin is fifteen, he encounters the girl of his dreams, but she barely acknowledges his existence… until seven years later when they meet again. Cross-gen, het, MATURE ADULT CONTENT.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,737 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 9/16/2010 - Published: 9/13/2010 - Teddy L., Pansy P. - Complete
Poison Pen by GenkaiFan reviews
Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 74,506 - Reviews: 9033 - Favs: 21,673 - Follows: 8,615 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Conflict Within by snapsforsnape reviews
Which category does Snape belong to? A story about his inner struggle to find where he belongs.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,693 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/23/2010 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Severus S.
Musical Magic by Shiruba Fokkusu reviews
Sevitus: Ever since he was ten, Harry has had a dream every year about a violinist and a cellist. Now, he's realized what it's about.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 75,269 - Reviews: 516 - Favs: 635 - Follows: 888 - Updated: 12/22/2009 - Published: 2/26/2006 - Harry P., Severus S.
The Edge by fembuck reviews
One night when Edward is out hunting, Alice drops by Bella’s room to keep her company. Only, things don’t go quite as planned. Sequel to "Golden Slumber". Alice/Bella, Bella/Alice, femslash
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 170,989 - Reviews: 1710 - Favs: 2,001 - Follows: 870 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Bella, Alice - Complete
The Secret Fetishes of Bellatrix Lestrange by Adultfanfiction reviews
Harry gets captured by the Death Eaters, Bellatrix has a couple of hours alone with him in a cell in the dungeons of Malfoy Manor. Harry is chained to the wall . . . . . . only suitable for 18 years or older . . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 15,899 - Reviews: 311 - Favs: 1,073 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 8/22/2006 - Harry P., Bellatrix L.
Tease by cloneserpents reviews
After Quidditch practice, Harry receives some unexpected attention. 5th Year AU! PWP SMUT/MYSTERY. NON-CONSENT! FEMME—DOM!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,778 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 149 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Arms of A Dark Angel by Snapegirlkmf reviews
Neglected by his caregivers, little Harry would not have survived were it not for the mysterious dark angel who helped him. Harry never knew his name, until he went to Hogwarts and discovered a certain professor bore a remarkable resemblence to his savior
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 47 - Words: 232,468 - Reviews: 1596 - Favs: 2,144 - Follows: 732 - Updated: 11/23/2008 - Published: 9/19/2008 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Dark Marauder by BajaB reviews
The Maruaders were not nice people, but what if the gang was as Dark as they should at first glance appear to be? AU Marauders era one-shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,613 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 2,389 - Follows: 500 - Published: 10/10/2008 - James P. - Complete
Two Sides of the Same Coin by Ten Toes reviews
Petunia & Harry become a team, and Harry finds the wizarding world much earlier than anyone suspects. He hides his Slytherin self under the guise of a naive Gryffindor. He also hides the wizard friendships he made years before Hogwarts. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 110,091 - Reviews: 2399 - Favs: 4,836 - Follows: 5,571 - Updated: 8/17/2008 - Published: 6/25/2007 - Harry P.
Harry Potter and The Acts of Betrayal by Clell65619 reviews
The Semiclassic 'everyone has been lying to Harry about everything' plot. Very AU. Bashing of pretty much everyone. Mind Control Sex. Language. Dumbledore decides the Old Families won't tolerate the Chosen One being with a mudblood. Sucks to be Ron Ginny
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 77,977 - Reviews: 1917 - Favs: 4,824 - Follows: 1,891 - Updated: 5/7/2008 - Published: 9/28/2007 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Across the Universe by mira mirth reviews
Vague spoilers for PS-HBP. One-shot. James Potter observes as Harry arrives to an alternate dimension where his parents are alive and Neville is the Boy-Who-Lived. Trying to teach old cliches new tricks, here.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,885 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 4,291 - Follows: 734 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Harry P., James P. - Complete
A Hero by Celebony reviews
Dudley begins to see his family in a different light. Warning: strong language and themes of child abuse. WINNER: Best One-Shot at Quibbler Awards
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,108 - Reviews: 1398 - Favs: 7,603 - Follows: 1,061 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Dudley D., Harry P. - Complete
Red Ink Remains by Lady Altair reviews
To the girl in the card shop in Ottery St. Catchpole, Fred Weasley was never anyone more than a nice young man who made her laugh one day, but even that's worth remembering.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 313 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Fred W. - Complete
Magical Contracts by Kalen Darkmoon reviews
In Goblet of Fire, JKR established that it was absurdly easy to bind other witches and wizards unwillingly into binding magical contracts with a simple, school-taught 'confundus' charm. What if Harry took note of that and decided to do something about it?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,285 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 3,384 - Follows: 835 - Published: 12/12/2007 - Harry P. - Complete
Credi, Bello? by Monopoly reviews
One Shot. Set after DH. A mix of an interesting day in Italian II class and my disgruntlement over having to write college application essays. Harry has to write about someone who has influenced him. He might not pick who you expect.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,433 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Harry P., Minerva M. - Complete
Scars by Unspoken Tragedy reviews
They may not be the most beautiful of things, scars. But nothing can so effectively testify that we survived than those ugly white lines. Professor Snape teaches a different kind of lesson.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 880 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Severus S., OC - Complete
Perception by Lady Salazar reviews
Voldemort is dead. James Potter killed him. But Voldemort killed James, and Harry fulfilled the Prophecy. Confused? Well, it’s all in perception anyway. HPLEP, sort of HPGW and JPLEP. Oneshot, short.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,036 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 201 - Follows: 48 - Published: 12/29/2006 - Harry P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
The Phoenix’s Choice by BajaB reviews
Can Lucius Malfoy be redeemed? A choice has been offered to the unrepentant Death Eater, will he take it? Crime and punishment in the HP universe. Post Hogwarts, AU DH, oneshot, slightly dark.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,654 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 26 - Published: 11/9/2006 - Lucius M., Kingsley S. - Complete
Raspberry Jam by vvc reviews
Draco tries not to think of his upcoming transition and the unwanted partner chosen for him by his father. Then he finds he may have a choice after all. Will the faith he puts into his choice be rewarded? HPDM A slow, soft romance.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 80,655 - Reviews: 1176 - Favs: 5,397 - Follows: 1,033 - Updated: 10/3/2006 - Published: 9/20/2006 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Die, Voldie, Die! by Laume reviews
AU. Weird. Written for a Third Floor Corridor contest. The task: Defeat Voldemort in the most ridiculous manner possible.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 50 - Published: 7/29/2006 - Voldemort, Harry P. - Complete
Slithering Companions by lupin'sveela reviews
Dumbledore is dead! Draco did not kill his headmaster as first expected. What tragic events occur in the Slytherin's road ahead? Rated Mature. DMLM lovely story of incestSlash, naughty, naughty boys within. Read at your own delight.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,059 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 11/19/2005 - Published: 8/15/2005 - Draco M., Lucius M.
Saving Connor by Lightning on the Wave reviews
AU, eventual HPDM slash, very Slytherin!Harry. Harry's twin Connor is the Boy Who Lived, and Harry is devoted to protecting him by making himself look ordinary. But certain people won't let Harry stay in the shadows... COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 81,263 - Reviews: 1882 - Favs: 5,537 - Follows: 1,398 - Updated: 10/5/2005 - Published: 9/15/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
The Marriage by Janara reviews
[Complete] At the start of Harry's seventh year Dumbledore has come up with the perfect way of ending the war. There is only one problem, Harry refuses to play the Headmaster's game. Will Harry be able to avoid the trap set by the aged wizard?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,058 - Reviews: 529 - Favs: 1,919 - Follows: 478 - Published: 6/4/2005 - Complete
Crumbling Pedestal by Shivani reviews
Slash, HPSS- Harry's date with Voldemort at the conclusion of the Triwizard tournament didn't go quite as planned. Fate steps in with a 'unique' opportunity, offering Harry the chance to live and mature in the past. For a while, anyway.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 179,530 - Reviews: 948 - Favs: 3,475 - Follows: 729 - Updated: 2/15/2005 - Published: 6/21/2004 - [Harry P., Severus S.] - Complete
Your Stress by Femme Jade M reviews
“It’s one of those cliffs that could lead you to freedom or chain you back to the earth…” (Parvati/Padma femmeslash)
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,029 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/14/2003
Sinners Of An Unknown Degree by Demeter1 reviews
Children always suffer the most in wars. Minerva McGonagall watches her charges go off to die, to slip into darkness, and to come to Hogwarts with new and painful scars. In ways only someone who has seen the past, present, future, she remembers her grief.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,316 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/9/2001 - Severus S.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

People Like You reviews
Rita Skeeter had survived the war… So of course she tries to sneak around in the house of the newly-appointed Minister for Magic. RS/AB slash, not explicit.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/26/2011 - Rita S., Amelia B. - Complete
Thick Woolen Socks reviews
"...I? I see myself holding a pair of thick, woolen socks..." What Albus Dumbledore really sees when he looks into the Miror of Erised.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 187 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Albus D., Aberforth D. - Complete
GinnyTonks Drabbles reviews
Um, just Ginny and Tonks... having some 'fun'. Each drabble 300/100 words exactly. Definitely PWP, femmeslash.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 871 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/1/2010 - Published: 1/4/2010 - Ginny W., N. Tonks - Complete
So Uncomplicated reviews
Follows the story of Lavender and Parvati as they fall in love. Femmeslash, Implied Sex. Limited plot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,487 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Lavender B., Parvati P. - Complete
The Coward reviews
Summary: Just something I wrote after reading ‘The Prince’s Tale’. Sort of a monologue on Severus Snape. Rather confusing. Nothing like my normal style, barely deserves the title of ‘story’. Oneshot, complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 211 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Severus S. - Complete
Claiming Her Senses reviews
Pansy is having fun in the dungeons. Her newest toy: Luna. Surprisingly enough,it isn't quite a consenting relationship. Oneshot, no sequel planned. Warnings: Femmeslash sex, Dubious consent, 'Toys' Does have a happy ending.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,305 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Pansy P., Luna L. - Complete
Soft Sunlight
Set in the Marauders' third year, centered mostly around Remus/Sirius pairing, but also including James, Peter, Lily, Severus, Andromeda, Lucius, Rudolphus, Narcissa and Bellatrix. Contains mentions of het and slash, plus slash kissing and adult language.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,473 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/21/2009 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete