Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter.
Please note most of my stories are over onunder the same username. There are two dark MA rated Adrian/Hermiones, and an unfinished Marcus/Hermione.
I'm currently working on a Tom Riddle/Hermione semi-romance. It's fun. It will be long, and it will not be fluffy. It's also very much more Hermione-centric than constant Tom/Hermione interaction, particularly at the beginning.
Scientia Potentia Est.
in Scientia Potentia Est
(read this candyfloss fic at your own peril)
Fanon!Hermione things that really irritate me:
1. Why does Hermione suddenly have curly hair? She's never hair curly hair. It's bushy. Bushy is like thick and wavy and a bit frizzy (often tamed by age, young Hermione). Those ringlets cascading down her back shouldn't be cascading anywhere.
2. Hermione is a terrible liar. She stammers, she blushes, she thinks it's immoral. Unlike Canon!Hermione who convincingly sells an outrageous story, made up on the spot, playing to her opponents weaknesses and then leads said opponent (her teacher) off into the woods to be dealt with (possibly killed) by Centaurs. Also, at the Lovegoods' in DH where she somehow manages to pull off that vaguely farcical they-have-to-see-Harry-but-can't-see-Ron thing. She's great at lying. (No so much when she's little, but she learns)
3. Hermione is weak and lets people walk all over her, especially Badboy!Male Lead. No, she doesn't. She really doesn't. She's got some really mean hexes.
4. Hermione is pretty but she can't dress herself and has terrible fashion sense so Ginny/Lavender/Parvati/niche Slytherin girls from the past/previously unmentioned Muggle cousin do it for her, just like in those teen movies. She is actually very pretty (from book four on it's made clear several times as she grows into her looks) but she's not outstandingly beautiful. She just doesn't make a big deal out of her appearance.
5. Hermione can't duel for sh*t because she's only good at Reading Things and therefore must conform to the classic geek stereotype. While this is all very well if you're writing 12 - 14 year old Hermione, by the time the war rolls around she's an excellent dueller by any standards. She's not going to be the Bestest Ever, but she can definitely hold her own, and she's pretty good at wandless and nonverbal magic as well. JKR doesn't need to state that outright, but she drops it in at several different points. [e.g. The Battle of Hogwarts and the Lovegoods' house where she out-duels Death Eaters with a lot more experience than her]
6. Hermione is poor and so the Rich Male Lead (usually Malfoy) makes a deal with her/rescues her. Or she has Nowhere to Go and the Rich Male Lead... you get the picture. Why why why would she ever need to get a job from the Malfoys/whoever? She's the best in her year, has exceptional NEWTs, is a famous war heroine, and has relatively wealthy parents in her own right...
7. Hermione is the Brightest Witch of Her Age. No, that isn't actually what Remus said. He said she was the brightest witch of her age he'd ever met. As in, the brightest fourteen year old witch he'd ever met. It was 'age' not 'Age'. Guys. She's great, but come on. No one says that.
8. In other things that no one said, ever, why do Pureblooded teenagers in the nineteen forties talk like they live in 2000? Obviously writing characters from the past is really hard, as I'm discovering, but people could at least try avoid basic anachronisms. Like Pokemon references, and "Oh my God" and all that sort of thing.
9. Hermione's biggest life ambition is to find her soul mate so she makes a wish a omg it's Snape/Voldemort/Malfoy/Cedric and they arrived like a miracle. On Christmas/other festival.
Words I do associate with Hermione: clever, cunning, sharp, secretive, witty, eccentric, unselfconscious, passionate, moral, flexible ethics, bleeding heart, unforgiving, opinionated, arrogant, pretty, dedicated, loyal, brave, talented, bright, grown up, strong, dutiful, lonely, vengeful, self-sacrificing, outspoken.
She has a lot of Slytherin qualities, but she generally only uses them for others' gain and not her own, which stops her from being the consummate Slytherin she would be if she were more self-interested. She actually seems to embody all the house qualities (which I think is a sign of complexity and maturity because so does Dumbledore).
More general, but seriously why bother writing a magical fanfiction if your characters never do any magic? Explore the boundaries, get creative. We don't need the plot of a high-school movie projected onto a vaguely Hogwartsish setting, but where the characters only occasionally seem to remember that they have wands. If you have a plot point, try and imagine how it would be different with magic. What's different? Why didn't Moody just kidnap Harry way earlier in Book Four and save all that time... Oh wait, sorry, got off topic.
(But, seriously, why is Lord V portrayed as so thick in the books? I get that they're children's books but still - the guy is meant to be a genius and he can't get rid of one not particularly bright teenager? I choose to believe he got stupider with every Horcrux). Why can you only be Muggleborn, Half-Blood, or Pureblood? What about more mixed? Do you become Pureblood after one generation? Does that mean all Harry's children are Purebloods?. I have so many questions.
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