Author has written 8 stories for Bionicle, and Transformers/Beast Wars.
Name: Lauren Midgley
Finds herself bound to the following "laws": 1) Things that rarely happen will always happen at the worst time. 2) I will always get stopped by the train when in a car going from my mum's house to my dad's or vise versa. 3) If, after trying and failing at the same part of a video game for ages, I leave it for a few days, I'll be able to do it first time when I go back to it. 4) Something that I really want will always become available when I have no money, and won't be available when I do. 5) Photocopiers and printers will never be on my side.
My current saying(s): "Bang, and the _ is gone!"
Tim Burton films, BIONICLE, Transformers, Kingdom Hearts, Rooster Teeth, Pokémon, Sonic the Hedgehog, anime/manga, reading, writing, acting, karate, generally being very strange, being proud of what others would be ashamed of for a laugh, scaring people with my "mad" karate skills, having the chance to show off once in a while, magic tricks, watching films, listening to music, spending time with my friends and family, playing video games with my cousins, seeing theatre productions, LASER QUEST!!! :O
Drugs, really drunk people, cooked tomatoes, chavs, people who think they are emo but aren't, sharks, sinking in what should be solid (ie: quicksand and such as), beaches, the "Irish" guys on Heroes series 2 with the really bad Irish accents, stuck up snobs, people who hog the limelight, being denied the chance to show off, purposely bad advice, bullies, my friends/family being upset/ill
Billy Talent, Nightwish, I Am Ghost, The All-American Rejects, AFI, Dragon Force, Avenged Sevenfold, Mindless Self Indulgence, Simple Plan, Metallica, Fall Out Boy, Rammstein, Tool, Skillet, Escape the Fate, Rise Against, Pendulum
His Dark Materials, The Inheritance Series, The Belgariad, The Malloreon, Alex Rider, The Black Magician Trilogy and following books, Dragon Keeper, The Power of Five, Dragon Rider, The Wicked Years, The Spiderwick Chronicles, The Chronicles of Ancient Darkness, ghostgirl, The Looking Glass Wars
Pokémon, Sonic X, Cardcaptors
Return to Labyrinth, Kingdom Hearts, The Nightmare Before Christmas
The Nightmare Before Christmas, Hellboy 1-2, Reign of Fire, Star Wars I-VI, Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Transformer: Dark of the Moon, The Transformers ('80s), My Neighbor Totoro, The Simpsons Movie, School of Rock, Bionicle 1-4, Pokémon 1-12, Charlie's Angels 1-2, Stormbreaker, Shrek 1-2 (didn't find the third or fourth that funny), Shanghai Noon, Shanghai Knights, Indiana Jones 1-4, The Mummy, The Mummy Returns, Pirates of the Caribbean 1-4, X-Men 1-3, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, X-Men: First Class, National Treasure 1-2, Peter Pan (live action), most Disney films, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Final Fantasy Spirits Within, that Final Fantasy VII film, Underworld, Underworld: Evolution, I Am Legend, St. Trinian's 1-2, Be Kind Rewind, Labyrinth, the Spiderwick Chronicles, Corpse Bride, Coraline, Night at the Museum 1-2, Howl's Moving Castle, How to Train Your Dragon, Up, Despicable Me, Avengers Assemble, The Road to El Dorado, Avatar, An American Tale, Fievel Goes West, Let the Right One In, Let Me In
Monkey Island 1-5, Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie, Kingdom Hearts series, The Sims 3, all Pokémon games, Bionicle Heroes, Black and White 2, Dungeon Siege 1-2 (I hate 3, so don't even-), Shogun Total War 1-2, Beyond Good and Evil, Burnout Revenge/Paradise, American McGee's Alice, SSX Tricky, LEGO Star Wars, LEGO Indianna Jones, LEGO Batman 1-2, Drakengard 1-2, The Simpsons Hit and Run, Super Mario Galaxy, Final Fantasy III, IX and X-2, The Nightmare Before Christmas: Oogie's Revenge, Rayman Raving Rabbids TV Party, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Mario and Sonic at the Olymipic Games/Winter Olympic Games, Sonic Unleashed, Red Dead Redemption/Undead Nightmare, Bayonetta, Transformers: War for Cybertron, Enslaved, Blur, Viva Pinata, Skyrim, Catherine, Silent Hill 2, Conker Live and Reloaded, Mario Kart 7, Star Fox 64/3D
Fave TV/web series:
Heroes, The Simpsons, Doctor Who, The Fast Show, The Strangerhood, Red vs. Blue, Fairly OddParents, Sonic Underground, Chowder, Futurama, Game of Thrones
Fantasy, Transformers and BIONICLE
Copy and Paste Into Your Profile Thingys:
How to Tell if You're a Writer (bold ones apply to me)
-If you talk to yourself.
A Good Friend's Oath:
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath ... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.
If you are clumsy, copy and paste this on your profile.
Random people at random times do random things with random minds... C&P if you think this applies to you.
When we win it's called a battle, but when the others win it's called a massacre. C&P if you think this way of thinking is wrong.
If you will watch any show where the characters have spiky hair and big eyes without complaint, C&P.
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile (I'm there 24/7).
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show or song) so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile (BIONICLE 3 - watched it 14 times in two days)
If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile (printers, photocopiers, furniture, things in the perfect spot for stubbing your little toe...)
If you've ever asked a really stupid/obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile (I blame Meg!).
If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.
If you and your friends break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you're defying gravity, and no one can pull you down, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.
If you have an increasingly sophisticated and extensive vocabulary, situate this in your characterization.
If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.
If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingies, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are against character bashing, even of the characters that you yourself dislike, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk for ages and don't stop for breath until you start gagging on your lack of oxygen, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're a teenager or older but still LOVE things like Pokémon, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you forgot your phone number when someone asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have run straight into a window that you thought was an open door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you want to be famous for writing, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you jump out of your skin when a friend tickles you suddenly from behind, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think life without insanity is boring, copy and paste this into your profile.
Copy this to your profile if you believe in legalising gay marriage.
If you can't live life without taking a risk or two, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you love the those little fez hats, copy and paste this into your profile
I saw something similar to this but with pictures, and I can’t draw so thought I’d do this one.
List 10 of your favorite characters (OCs count!):
1: Blurr (Transformers)
Answer the questions below...
What would you do if #1 woke you up in the middle of the night?
#3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?
#5 cooked you dinner?
#6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?
#7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?
#8 got into the hospital somehow?
#9 made fun of your friends?
#10 ignored you all the time?
Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will #1 do?
You're on vacation with #2 and manage to break your leg. What does #2 do?
It's your birthday. What does #3 get you?
You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does #4 do?
You're about to marry #10. What's #1's reaction?
You got dumped by someone. How will #7 cheer you up?
#1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?
#2 tells you about his/her deeply hidden love for #9.
Could #1 and #6 be soul mates?
Would #2 trust #5?
#4 is bored and pokes #10. What happens after that?
If #6 and #3 cooked dinner what would they make?
#7 won the lottery?
#8 had quite a big secret?
#9 became a singer?
#10 got a daughter?
How would #3 greet #4?
What would #4 envy about #5?
What dream would #5 have about #6?
What do #6 and #7 have in common?
What would make #10 scared of #1?
How do you feel now?
Hermione: Just because you have the emotional capacity of a teaspoon!
Me: *drops half a fudge-centered Oreo into milk* Fudge! *Oreo floats to surface with the side saying "Fudge" visible*
Prof McGonagall: What are you doing?
Prof Moody: Teaching.
Prof McGonagall: Is that a student?
Prof Moody: Technically it's a ferret.
Lyndsay: You have the memory capacity of a sieve!
Leader of the Knight Who Say Ni: We are now no longer the Knights Who Say Ni!
Knight of Ni: Ni!
Other Knights: Shush!
Leader of the Knights Who Say Ni: We are now the Knights who say Ickey Ickey Ickey Ickey Patang Zoopoing Gnzoow Zoow...
Knight of Ni: Ni!
Me: *enters living room to see a woman wearing a hat that looks like a satellite dish on TV* She's broadcasting live!
Puppet Harry Potter: I like the part where he stopped moving!
Jem: *pops up out of cornfield* BONJOUR!
Narrator: And so the dragon attacked the Castle...! What happened to the Castle? Oh, that's right; I used it to make the dragon! Umm... he will attack... the... Cardboard Replacement Castle!
Narrator: And they lived happily ever after as a democratic society in their Cardboard Replacement Castle!
Caboose: Time line? Time is not made out of lines, it is made out of circles! That is why clocks are round!
Sarge: You get an F in efficiency, but an A in dramatic timing!
Grif: Sarge, while that's the most retarded idea I've ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line.
Sarge: Don't get misty, Francine. We'll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill! I think we can all agree, given our current situation, it's the perfect plan.
Guy 2: *after having thrown Guy 1 into the air with the "Gravity Boots"* Is that him?
Guy 3: That is a plane!
Indianna Jones Wannabe: *giant LEGO boulder smacks into car* Do you think they'll notice?
Tucker: Bow chika bow wow!
Andy the Bomb: What do you want, Caboose?
Caboose: I want a pony!
Donut: It's not pink! It's lightish red!
Caboose/Evil Caboose: Mwahahahahahah... my throat hurts!
Andy the Bomb: I heard this movie got two thumbs up. My question is: up what? Ooo, that burns!
Caboose: It's not my fault that the small drink is 164 ounces!
Sister: I have to take this, it could be incredibly important! *answers phone* Yo, what up, dude?
Tucker: Alright! Get him, Junior!
Simmons: *is attacked by the baby alien* Whoa! *falls down*
Donut: I didn't know this was gonna be an action movie! Eww! NC-17 action movie!
Simmons: Oh god! My spine! Put it back in! Put it back in!
Caboose: I think it would be ironic if everyone was made out of iron!
Vezon: So what am I supposed to do on Destral? Theft? Assassination? Running with sharp objects?
Hattie: Is this the same Lauren?
Me: No, she was cloned and made fearless. This is the clone you're talking to.
Bella: You make my heart do funny things.
Caboose: We are in the future. Things are very shiny here!
Mr Hansen: Midge, we're doing the Superhero Walk, not the Washing Machine Walk!
Qui-Gon Jinn: There's always a bigger fish.
Frollo: I had a little trouble with the fireplace last night.
Instructor Type Voice Person: Rock Concert Movement #4; the Behind the Head Leg Stretch.
Me: *following along* Wait, what?
French Pirate: En garde, touché!
Guybrush Threepwood: Oh that is so cliché!
Person 1 On YouTube: Actually that’s not true. China uses way less then we do. All because China has a bigger population you can’t just assume. We Americans are spoiled rotten and pollute 3 times as much as China. We pollute without even thinking about it, it’s like a daily ritual. And the more people say save the Earth, the more our stubborn personalities come through and don't even bother to change just because you think it feels refreshing to be defiant.
Person 2 On YouTube: Fuck you for being right!
Quest 3 Description: Oooooh it's dangerous! Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to prevent the end of civilisation as we know it (hey, bet you've never heard that from a computer game before!) by seeking out and uncovering the Lost Lava Lamp Of The Ancient and, time permitting, thrashing the Dark Lord to within an inch of his life!
Me: I didn't know Voldemort was in this!
LeChuck: Yar! There's nothing like the hot winds of Hell blowing in yer face ter wake ya up in the morning.
Map Salesman: Excuse me; do you have a cousin named Sven?
Guybrush Threepwood: No, but I did have a barber named Dominique.
Guybrush Threepwood: What do you see? Wealth? Fame? Romance?
Voodoo Lady: Close, close, close. It is a giant monkey!
Guybrush Threepwood: *has been told to throw himself off cliff* Goodbye cruel adventure game- ah, forget it!
Fester: Shut up! I'm monologuing!
Pohatu: I can't say I think much of your colour change.
Takanuva: You should talk. You're orange.
Pohatu: Yeah, but I wear it well.
Jem: Do pigs lay eggs?
Miguel: You fight like my sister!
Tulio: I've fought your sister! That's a compliment!
Tulio: What's happening?
Miguel: We're both in barrels, that's the extent of my knowledge.
Miguel: Did you ever imagine it would end like this?
Tulio: The horse is a surprise.
Haunted House Host: Some fear with your beer, sir?
Me: Mini Mulan!
T-Shirt Quote: There are three types of people in the world, those who are good at maths and those who aren't.
Lee Evans: Oh, what did I come in here for? Why are you asking you? You don't fucking know!
Elphaba/Wicked Witch of the West: Well, we can't all come and go by bubble!
Timmy: Get off my back - which is now bulgie!
Timmy: It's a good thing I always carry a copy of Decimator: Crush the Planet, which I conveniently started carrying yesterday!
Carl: Wow! Look at small-headed Jimmy go!
Cosmo: Go on, go on! Ask me a question!
Wanda: *referring to the fact that he has removed his brain* Why are you still talking?
Sheen: It's going to destroy the town! Let's get my video camera!
Sheen: Everything I know is a lie!
Luke from Rooster Teeth: If this becomes a comic, I'm not drawing it!
Wannabe Bella: So, now he wants to kill me?
Wannabe Edward: No! He wants my candy bar!
Jake as Romeo: In sadness cousin, I do not love a woman.
Mrs Walker: "I do love a woman," Jake.
Lavern: Don't you ever migrate?
Wizard of Oz: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!
Abe: My body is a temple.
Hellboy: Well, now it's an amusement park.
Me as (supposedly) Henry: Henry dearest, this is your line!
Georgia: I want Meg's brother as my brother.
Hattie: I want something to eat.
Meg: I want to murder Miles.
Me: I want to party like it's 1960!
Meg: Harriet! Come give Ben a hug!
Hattie: What? No!
Me: *pops up out of nowhere* I'LL GIVE HIM A HUG! (Ben legs it)
Meg: It's Satan in an apron!
Meg: How'd you get my purse?
Me: You gave it to me!
Mum: Doesn't your (step)dad blend in well with the wall?
Mum: Why do you two insist on floundering around in the dark?
Me: It's 'cos we're bats. *Colin bursts out laughing*
Me: Is it just me, or do all directors have beards?
Ms Nicholson: Ok, I gave some people the wrong homework sheet, so I need you to check that you have the right one.
Me: NO! Miss, I just put it in my bag with all the other bits of paper I have! I'll never find it- oh, wait, there it is!
Me: You don't mess with da FEZ!
Animated!Bumblebee: Enjoy the bright lights, the big city! *Lights go off* Ok, enjoy... the big city!
Animated!Ratchet: Are you finished?
Animated!Optimus Prime: Apparently, I am.
Animated!Optimus Prime: Sorry if I scratched your vehicle, sir. I understand something called... "insurance" will take care of that.
Animated!Bulkhead: Aww, her eyes are leaking!
Sari: You have anything that ugly on Cybertron?
Animated!Bumblebee: Yeah, but Bulkhead 's back at the plant.
Animated!Prowl: Where did you even find room for all of that junk?
Animated!Bumblebee: I'd... rather not say... *sheepish thumb twiddle*
Animated!Bumblebee: This is much better than roasting swampmallows!
Sari: That's marshmallows!
Mac: If you were the only boy in the girl, and-
Other Drama Kids (Me included): Hahaha!
Jason: *totally clueless* What did she say?
Jason: It's not cocky, it's repetition!
Hattie: Where's Lauren?
Me: Argh! *falls down stairs*
Hattie and Georgie: There she is!
Spoof Takanuva: Uh... Serbia did it! *legs it*
Spoof Turaga Dume: In Soviet Russia, you do not wear mask, mask wears you! In Soviet Russia, you do not shoot disk, disk shoots you! In Soviet Russia, you do not stand on ground, ground stands- *is knocked out by Teridax*
Kid I think is called Connor: Why do you have an old person stick?
Me: Because I'm acting!
Me: Are the toilets in a public school private toilets?
Me: So, what about the toilets in a private school? Are they private toilets?
Animatronic George Bush: My fellow Americans- *everyone in the theatre starts laughing*
TV: How do I love thee?
Me: Bagles! *gasp*
Marge: If you don't mind, we're going to a funeral!
Homer: Ding dong, the witch is dead!
Bart: Which old witch?
Homer: The Wicked Witch!
Live-Action!Optimus Prime: Bumblebee! Stop lubricating on the man!
Meg: EWWW! IT'S ALL FLOPPY!
Meg: Why don't you have more quotes from me on here! It makes me sad! I'm insulted!
Georgia: Don't be silly, wrap up your willy!
Meg: Again with the none quoting! I'm more insulted now!
Me: Ok, that is the last time I let you write on here!
Onua: Stop it! Stop it! No more singing!
Kopaka: But, father-
Onua: And no more Monty Python, either!
SPIRIT: Now, post how you felt about it. If you don't, Mata Nui will kill a baby Gukko. And for every baby Gukko he kills, he kills a baby Gukko.
Librarian: What's that? An apple? *apple pronounced ah-PUHL*
Me: *taking the mic out of the above quote* Apple bottom books and the kids with the fur, FUR! The whole library looking at her! She hit the chair, she hit the chair, next thing ya know, next thing ya know, she was reading, reading, reading, reading, reading, reading!
Picture on deviantART: No-one suspects the Jinjo.
Me: Chegga chegga chunga!
Kazooie: *referring to the infamous Ice Key from Banjo-Kazooie* I know where I'd like to stick that!
Me: Why are the salt and pepper snogging?
Me: Why does that kid have antennae?
Mr Young: Now, normally I'd give you a boring exercise to do-
My Maths Class: Yay!
Mr Young: But not today-
My Maths Class: Aww!
Mr Hewitt: Shut et vous up, sil vous please.
BioSector01 Mata Nui page: Mata Nui is roughly forty million feet tall.
Me: Forty million? I thought he was only seven hundred thousand? He's had a thirty-nine million and three hundred thousand foot growth spurt! I think... *counts*
Me: You know, you can change the coloured parts on a Smart Car? So, like, you could have red panels when you're angry, or blue when you're sad or calm...
She Who I Refuse to Name: Yes, I can just see that - "I feel minimal today, I shan't have any panels."
Me: Half way down the motorway, the engine flies out of the car.
Me: *is smacked on the arse by Meg* NOT WHEN IT'S FUCKING COLD! SHIT! THAT HURTS LIKE FUCK!
Caboose: I don't want to catch pregnancy!
Joker: What's the time?
Comissioner Gordon: What difference does it make?
Joker: Well, depending on the time, he could be in one place or several.
Joker: Never start with the head, it makes the victim all... fuzzy, and they can't feel the next- (Batman hits his hand, and Joker shows no pain) See?
Me: SAVE THE MANBOOBS!!
Puppeteer: How do you spell your name?
Achmed: A... C... phlegm...
Puppeteer: What's the last thing that went through your mind?
Achmed: My ass.
Lyndsay: *talking about some nonsense my dad was on about* So, basically, he means yes.
Lyndsay: What was that for?
Me: Oh, wait, that was a stab at Dad, so I take that back... !rrG
Stickman: I'MA FIRIN' MA LASER! BBLLAAAHHH!
Edited Turaga Dume: But when the great shadow falls- YOU WILL DIE!
Toa: Why is everything on Earth so big and shiny?
Human: Says the seven foot tall tin man!
Me: Twirly beard!
Hattie: Look! You can put it (Santa decoration's beard) in different styles! Plait, bun, over the top!
Me: Say something!
Ben: You just fucking hit me! What am I meant to say? Ow?
Ben: *unwraps Christmas pressie from me* Oh my God, it's my Bible!
Me: It's the ACDC encyclopedia...
Ben: Your point being...?
Mr Hansen: *quoting The Fast Show* Ya gotta be a little be werr, a little bit way-
Me: A little bit shwsh shwsh shwsh shwsh shwsh?
Baldrick: This one (poem) is called the German Guns. Boom went the German Guns. Boom boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom... BOOM boom boom boom. Boom boom boom boom-
Black Adder: Boom boom boom boom?
Baldrick: How did you know, sir?
Prince of Persia: Oh, you meant these baths? I've been at the ones clear across the other side of the city! I had a wash and a rub of scented oils and I feel so refreshed. Oh, STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF!!
Mum: I hate that predictable text!
Me: I think you mean predictive text, mother dear.
Dr F: The F stands for ROCKETS!
Me: Meg, where'd my arse go?
Me: Hey, ya know that time capsule we made gets dug up in 2025?
Katie: Does that mean we're all gonna reunite?
Me: Reunite...? What like *gets hyped up* POWER RANGERS!
Mr Tunick: Now, I'm not taking the Michael.
Mrs Allsopp: Embarrassment is much easier to live with than death.
Me: Nah, I like living with death; I want to waddle around as a zombie!
Me: Argh! WOMAN RAPE!
Meg: Loz, there's a policeman right behind you.
Me: Oh, shit.
Becky: You know how all the girls wanted to be the princess?
Me: Not me, I always wanted to be the knight *everyone laughs*.
Sandy Claws/Santa Claus: Would you do it all over again, knowing what you know now, knowing what you knew then? And he smiled, like that old Pumpkin King that I knew, then turned, and asked softly of me: "Wouldn't you?"
Me: Hell, no!
Meg: Ooo, my stomach!
Me: *really fast to the point of nearly being incoherent* Oh,isitthattimeofthemonth? Itisforme. I'mreallyhyperifyouhadn'tnoticed (Meg looks blank, then bursts out laughing).
Me: *singing* Vitamin string, lace-up corset for your hand!
Charlotte: Have you seen my pie?
Meg: Sugarz, spices, minerals and rocks!
Story: Three years have past since the arrival of the young Prince who is now five years old.
Me: Wait, he was born two years old?
Me: So, yeah, I'll make you want to be leader of the free world when I make you on the Sims 3.
Meg: Can't you make me want to be leader of the prostitute world?
Me: What's the difference?
Narrator: Overcoming many perils and speech impediments...
Grace: I think Lauren should be the one we all attack (for Drama ;P).
Kitty: Yeah, did you see the guard she had up then? She was all *makes a defensive position and a strange "I'm tough" sorta noise*.
Grace: You are ok with this, right, Lauren?
Me: Yeah, don't worry.
Kitty: You do have the most experience at getting hurt, after all (think karate).
A few lessons later...
Me: God, I couldn't breathe with you all on top of me like that!
Grace: Oh, sorry, did I, like, kill you?
Zoe: Her! *points at me, I get attacked, audience laughs at me*
Me: The names of some phobias are really excessive. I mean, come on, Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia? What sorta word is that?
Me: "To see the world in a grain of sand..." isn't that off Tomb Raider?
Miss Couling: Whose are these bits of card?
Me: Not mine, said the Loz.
Mr McKenzie: Please stop assaulting that young man with your folder.
Me: I don't get it, but it's still funny!
Random Austrian Boy: Fucking mother bitch!
Me: Supercalifragalisticexpialido-oooh that's pretty!
Me: Wow! All of my hand drawn logos were done by Megan!
Hattie: Oh my God, you so sounded like Cosmo from Fairly OddParents then!
Me: Transformer lolcats in disguise!
Me: THE SQUEEGIES ARE AGAINST MEEEE!
Me: My fingers are going crazy under the influence of caffeine.
Dumbledore: I suppose you're wondering why I've brought you here tonight, Harry?
Harry Potter: Actually, sir, after all these years I just sort of go with it.
Me: So, Ben. What do you think my middle name is?
Ben: Er... Lauren?
Me: Lauren Lauren Midgley? That sounds like a song! Lauren-Lauren-Midgley, oooo yeah! Lauren-Lauren-Midgley-
Ben: Oooo no!
Toby Turner: I'm a BIRD, motha fuh, I'm a BIRD!
Uncle: Ancient proverb - none of your beeswax!
Me: I only just realised that the picture in the top right corner is a pair of pig's trotters...
Meg: What did you think they were?
Me: Oven gloves...
Georgie: GTFO! That sounds like a game in the GT series.
Hattie: Grand Tourismo Flying Octopus?
Everyone Else: What?
Me: Oh my god, irony to the max! The word for the fear of long words is one of the longest bloody words I've ever seen! (It's Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia for those of you who are interested.)
McGee!Alice: There must be more than one way to skin a cat. If you'll... pardon the expression.
McGee!Cheshire Cat: A most unpleasant metaphor. Please avoid it in future.
Mum: Ok, I'll hide this (birthday present) somewhere you don't know about.
Me: Your wardrobe?
Mum: ... dangit...
Me: And then the short fat one shot the albatross!
Meg: What do I miss on Thursday?
Me: Harrogate Grammar School Has Talent - not much then.
Science Text Book: Professor Woo Suk Hwang, this came as a massive blow to everyone who worked there.
Hattie as Me: Hello, my name is Lauren Mingle!
Hattie: It went red (her finger).
Me: Maybe you shouldn't have sucked on it.
Hattie: That's what he said.
Sora: But I've gotta talk to Hades! *shot cuts to Hades who has his fingers in his ears*
Hades: What was that?
Me: Wow, it has a big green... thing on it!
Me: Dad, Lyndsay has a cannibalistic look on her face! Actually, seeing as none of us are of the same species it wouldn't be cannibalism, would it?
Lyndsay: No, just pure EATING!
Me: Kingdom Hearts is so weird. You get two Final Fantasy characters having a heart to heart... and then you notice Scrooge McDuck looking grumpy in the background!
Jack Sparrow Hallucination: NOBODY MOVE! I dropped my brain!
Drip: If you have the energy to attack a wall with my face, you can fucking move!
Jack Black: What's your favourite dish? I'm not gonna cook it, just order it from ZANZIBAR!
Hattie: Lauren, does that say "I dropped my Brian"?
Live-Action!Jetfire: Itchy, retched rust in my aft!
Me: POP! Congratulations, you have given birth to a biscuit!
Hattie: I'm gonna go nun.
Me: I might just join you there.
Animated!Blurr: FIRST of all, the name's not "Zippy". As a matter of fact, Idon'tbelieveI'veevermetanotherbotnamedZippy, soonecanonlyassumethatyoucameupwiththenameZippyinreferencetomyspeed, whichmaybetechnicallyacurate, butlacksacertaincreativity.
Animated!Bumblebee: *looks totally stunned by the fast-talking Autobot* Uh... uh...
Animated!Blurr: MORE to the point, the name's Blurr. I'm an Autobot intelligenceagent, senttothisplanetbytheEliteGuardtokeepaneyeonOptimusPrimeandhiscrewaswellasmonitortheDecepticonactivity. Andyoumyfriendhavejustblownadecacycleofcovertsurveillance, resignedtouncoverMegatron'splottoconquerCybertron. EverythingwasgoingtoplanwhenIinterceptedacommunicationbetweentheDecepticonleaderandanunknownduobleagent. TheywereinthemidstofplottingtheabductionofanunsuspectingAutobot, whichnowfromthestatusofthecurrentgroundsituationappearstohavebeensuccessful. Got that so far?
Animated!Bumblebee: Uh... could you repeat the last part?
Animated!Blurr: Which last part?
Animated!Bumblebee: Oh, everything after "The name's not Zippy"?
Sari: NO! Don't shoot! You'll hit my dad!
Animated!Bulkhead: She's right!
Animated!Bumblebee: So what are we supposed to do? Fight him with snappy comebacks?
Animated!Jazz: Crazy, it's like a planet and a car wash! You diggin' this or what?
Animated!Optimus Prime: He's not telling us everything...
Animated!Prowl: That's the understatement of the stellar cycle.
Me: Why are fast things in both reality and fiction almost exclusively blue?
Charlotte: It's funny to wind you up.
Me: Why does everyone think that?
Charlotte: Cuz your reactions are funny!
Me: How did you stub your toe whilst standing still?
Lyndsay: I don't know!
Ben S: Sir, will you miss us?
Mr Letts: *sarcastically* I'm choking back the tears.
80's!Rodimus Prime: Come on, Blurr. Lean on fearless leader.
Meg: Fah fah fah fah fah!
Queen Narrissa: We're coming to the end of our story now- *video ends*
Daffy Duck: AH HA! The force field penetrating apple!
Me: The Sims 3 - taking imaginary friends to the next level...
Celeb Horoscope Match Up: Never listen to the tiny voices. Unless they happen to be from small children you've accidentally trodden on.
Evil Tovar: Evil Tovar is angry! *Dutchmiller gasps dramatically*
Mr Streeton: And then there was a strange noise... *doorbell goes off*
Gus from Rooster Teeth: You shouldn't steal people's beards!
Live-Action!Ratchet: The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.
Me: *slaps knees whilst wearing Jack Skellington pyjama bottoms* JACK PANTS!
Lyndsay: Well, her speech has certainly sped up since this morning.
Narrator: Later, in the laboratory of the morally-ambiguous TransTech Shockwave.
Sari: Morally-ambiguous? He's got us chained to tables and is about to take us apart like a bad science fair project!
Animated!Shockwave: Begin proactive maintenance log: Subject A, adolescent human female, has regained consciousness and has demonstrated both an awareness of the narrator and an utter disregard for the fourth wall.
Animated!Shockwave: Then, I'll probably make a report, have afternoon tea, listen to Starscream whine...
Animated!Optimus Prime: Starscream? Afternoon tea? Uhg, You are evil!
Animated!Shockwave: No, I'm morally-ambiguous. Ask the narrator.
Narrator: Oh, yes! It's true!
Animated!Bumblebee: What's a "manwich"?
Beast Wars!Megatron: Meanwhile, I have a plan that will actually work.
Beast Wars!Megatron: Now, my *clears throat* Autobot friends, gather around, here's my plan. Psshwsshwsshwsh, rhubarb, rhubarb, peas, carrots, chips.
Beast Wars!Megatron: Yoink!
Icy Blitzwing: Hmm, very interesting, what kind of ice-cream do you think the girl would like?
Hothead Blitzwing: Who cares what kind of ice-cream the girl likes? Buy her a cookie!
Me: *singing Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal* Some people think I'm bonkers, but I just think I'm free!
Becky: No, Lauren, you are bonkers!
Sonic the Hedgehog: Why are you worried about that? This is an anime!
Me: Sonic the Hedgehog, breaking the fourth wall where ere he goes...
Me: His voice actor did Winnie the Pooh... and Tigger too!
Puppet Ron Weasley: Now, let's have a beach party... in London!
Me: You have to be intelligent to make up all these bits of shiz that no one understands.
Hattie: Oh, I can't wait for your party!
Me: *mishearing her completely* You like baked beans and farting?
BioSector01: ... and syntax errors can cause brain damage.
Me: *sneezes* I must be allergic to all this fashionable shiz.
Guybrush Threepwood: Right, because everyone keeps their magic root beer in a tiny monkey coffin...
Me: I like being a god.
Mrs Allsopp: At least we northerners pronounce our vowels correctly.
Ralph: Well, at least we southerners pronounce our constanants correctly.
G1!Optimus Prime: Amazing, a booby trap that actually captures boobies!
Hattie: I'm used to the smell of shit.
Me: Says a lot about you, doesn't it?
Billie: How did one of my hairs get all the way over there?
Me: I ask the same question about my hair turning up in the fridge...
Native American Homer Simpson: Long have we awaited the arrival of the white man... and Carl...
Hattie: Where's Lauren? *looks around* Oh, shit, we really lost her this time!
Sophie: I don't mean to alarm you, Lauren, but you appear to be on fire.
Man in Tourism Office: *looks at Hattie's bus pass* You're not related to David Cameron by any chance, are you? (her surname's Cameron)
Me: I wouldn't talk to her if she was...
Computer: Copying... 1225 days and 14 hours remaining...
Me: *looks in bin to see mice* Not again...
Bottles: Oh no! Various insects are starting to take an interest in my corpse!
Me: If you're going to lecture me about something I've done wrong, at least get the offense right!
Banjo: Can you show us the way, King Dingaling?
King Jingaling: It would be my pleasure.
Martha: Lauren, go out with me?
Me: Hahaha *goes back to work*.
Ralph: I'm not hearing a no.
Me: Hattie, I just sat on your retirement plan... I'm sorry.
Mr Weston: So, what do you want to do after you leave school?
Me: I'm interesting in professional writing.
Mr Weston: So, what subject do you plan to drop for next year?
Me: I'm not the "wise one". I just have the instructions!
Me: Everyone's Polish in my eyes, even you! *points to Hattie*
Hattie: The only time that you're ever scary is when you go skitz.
Me: *playing American McGee's Alice* Jem, swim upwards or you'll get eaten by the bloody big fish.
Jem: What bloody big fish?
Me: *big fish pops up, making loud noise, Jem screams* That bloody big fish!
Lyndsay: Lax, will you pop down to the post box?
Me: *looks out the window to see heavy rain* Is there a specific reason why you want me to go?
Lyndsay: Erm... no?
Me: I wouldn't even credit them with stupid. Complete moron fits better.
Hattie: Jesus just bit me!
Me: Nice to know that my primary school's beliefs are all based on troubled marriage.
Hattie: My head hurts.
Me: My head hurts from trying to understand this weird logic.
Me: You're more important than fish.
Me: And to you I say "pubic garlic".
Me: Yes, thank you for ruining my entire childhood.
Hattie: Not little Johnny!
Hattie: It looks like a penis!
Martha: Have you ever seen a penis?
Hattie: Who's Poison Ivy?
Martha: You don't know who Poison Ivy is?!
Me: Don't stick it in too hard, I might never get it back out!
Me: Yes, I'll tell you all about how I became sexually active.
Martha: That's not a Pokemon, that's an ice-cream!
Me: I like man shirts.
Mr Mosley: You need to check out the poster for the stageshow Wicked, you'll see it's similar to what you're working on there.
Me: *to Hattie* That's what my entire project is based on already!
Carter Pewterschmidt: Hey, Bill Gates, can you help me reprogram my Zune? Oh, wait, I have an iPod like the rest of the world!
Joe Swanson: Tell him, Megatron.
Megatron: DO AS I COMMAND!
Me: I impose sex upon you, ma'am.
Hattie: It's your 18th, if he doesn't get you a 3DS you can hate him forever.
Bill Boggs: You can't buy all of life's necessities with cookies.
Martha: It's like the Titanic of cream...
Hattie: Poke the venom mole?
Me: Sir, let me twiddle your valve!
Sideshow Bob: It shall be the greatest murder since Snape killed Dumbledore!
Grace K: There was a group facepalm when someone asked who "Miss Demeanor" was.
Anna-Louise: Who is it?
Audience: Ooooooooooh, no...
Mrs Weston: And now a new award for this year. For the best recovery after going "bleh" in the middle of a performance...
Me: *claps hands to face* Oh, no!
Mrs Weston: Lauren Midgley!
Cleveland Brown: The most human among us... is a bear. Let that sink in.
Me: *pretending to voice a woman stripping off in a film* Check out my buttocks!
Fred Jones Sr.: Pardon my French. "Shindig" is American for "hootenanny".
Gumball: GET OUT OF THE WAY!
Wall: I can't, I'm a wall!
LEGO Batman: You've broken your legs before.
LEGO Robin: Yeah, but I didn't like it.
I'll add more if I find any I like. No this isn't a quote!
Oh, and, all of you fanfic writers ought to go here --> It's a site dedicated to discussing fanfiction and other forms of fanwork and potentially meeting new fanwriters in your area!
Unsafe External Link