Taken and copied from the profile of Bob Rhynoplasty
Bananas are better than men because:1.) You don't mind swallowing a banana; 2.) Bananas are always stiff; 3.) Bananas don't know how to fart; 4.) A bananas only purpose is to satisfy you; 5.) No one cares if you have two bananas in bed with you at the same time; 6.) Another womAn will never try to steal youR banana; 7.) Bananas can last the whole night through; 8.) Even the smallest bananas are at least eight inches long.
The differences between Friends and Italian Friends:
Friends: When their mom visits them she brings a nice bunt cake and you sip coffee and chat.
Friends: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them and its usually only on special occasions.
Friends: You can leave your kids with them and you always worry if everything is going to be ok plus you have to feed them after you pick them up.
Italian Friends: No problem, leave the kids there and if they get out of line the Italian friend can set them straight...plus they get fed. (Very true)
Friends: Always pay retail and look in the yellow pages when they need something done.
Friends: Will come over for cake and coffee and expect cake and coffee, no more.
Friends: Think that being Italian is a great thing.
FRIENDS VS.ITALIAN FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Never ask for food
FRIENDS: Will say "hello"
FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Will eat at your dinner table and leave
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FRIENDS: know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
FRIENDS: Are for a while.
FRIENDS: Will ignore this.
Even when you cant see Him, GOD is there! If you belive in GOD put this in your profile,
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!
Try not to Cry
Mommy ... Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great, huge crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, got straight A's, and I even got the gold! When I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry that I had to go, but Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another, And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack, my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear, sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now, And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best, Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest. Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, and please don't let this pass. Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one though, deserves this, But Mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try, I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest. When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could, Please listen to me if you would, I wanted to go with college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with Daddy, on that trip to the new zoo. I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live. But Mommy, I must go now, the time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel our date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know it's true, And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you."
Now you have 2 choices;
1.) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try not to Cry"
2.) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are ...
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