That Incompetent Twit
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Joined 05-22-08, id: 1583048, Profile Updated: 07-12-11

Call me Kiani. Because Starbucks fails at hearing.

Hullo There.

I read, not write. I plan to stick to it to save thy souls from bad plots and wrong grammar, or just really horrible writing. Wouldn't want another Tara Gilesbie, now. This account was made for reviewing purposes and not having to search my history for whatever story I want to see or check if there has been an update. Yeah.

I tend to remove things from my favorites list. I'm sorry. I don't like scrolling up and down or anything long.

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A Thread Of Innocence by Athena Linborn reviews
Fear and determination, are major factors in Hermione Grangers decision to keep the child of a liaison she can hardly remember. All is well, until five years later, the hated father of her child, walks back in to her life!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 137,541 - Reviews: 1792 - Favs: 1,734 - Follows: 1,452 - Updated: 8/22 - Published: 11/21/2003 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Instant Message by Keelah reviews
She gave him names to kill, in order not to be killed herself. But having blood on her hands was turning out to be much worse than dying. "…There's still round 2…3…4…" When does this game end? She asked. "Don't you see, Sakura?" He said, "It never does."
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 70 - Words: 361,760 - Reviews: 4888 - Favs: 1,472 - Follows: 1,367 - Updated: 7/23 - Published: 4/4/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Ghost Hunters, Lies, & Money by SheSailsShips reviews
When the SPR team is called to investigate a haunted theater in a small town, it's hard to tell who's acting, who's playing, and who's paying.
Ghost Hunt - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 219,958 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 447 - Updated: 4/3 - Published: 3/24/2007 - Kazuya S./Naru, Mai T.
One Thing in Common by A-Dream's-Nightmare reviews
The life of a missing-nin isn't easy. Add the comings of war and it's even more so. Yet Sakura stands tall with her ragtag family at her side, child, samurai, and even Uchiha Itachi included. A story of love, hope, despair, and finding who you really are inside emerges from the dark tale of war and death.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 108,073 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 348 - Follows: 396 - Updated: 9/12/2015 - Published: 12/17/2009 - Sakura H., Itachi U.
The Lazy Uchiha by Hibiki54 reviews
The Uchiha clan were known as genius ninja. But all clans have that one black sheep. Meet Uchiha Itachi, a born genius and the laziest ninja you will ever find! Abandoned
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 55 - Words: 455,458 - Reviews: 1620 - Favs: 1,819 - Follows: 1,144 - Updated: 11/19/2012 - Published: 10/18/2004 - Itachi U. - Complete
The Invitational Year by Demand Truth reviews
Alfred is an awkward dork, despite the fact his dad is President. Arthur is a member of British royalty, and he's a perfectionist loner. Both boys are given an invitation to attend the prestigious World Academy and, naturally, they're roomies. USUK
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 41 - Words: 208,902 - Reviews: 1747 - Favs: 1,888 - Follows: 775 - Updated: 7/12/2012 - Published: 12/5/2010 - America, England/Britain - Complete
Paranoia Fuel by HitTheRoad reviews
She looks at him and sees a freak, a criminal. A Flippy/Flaky story, with The Happy Tree Friends as humans, dwelling with their teenage problems during high school.
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,968 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 227 - Updated: 7/12/2012 - Published: 8/24/2010 - Flippy, Flaky
audeamus by ohwhatsherface reviews
50alternates. SasuSaku. See you in the next life. 50. In the end, they ran away together.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 50 - Words: 47,004 - Reviews: 1089 - Favs: 692 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 10/28/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Ilyich by BarracudaHeart reviews
Russia is hiding the sad secret that he is slowly dying, and with only so much time left, tries to make it mean something for him and everyone else. Implied pairings of Russia/Liet and past RoChu. Originally named "Do Sunflowers Weep for Cold Children?"
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,749 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 10/1/2011 - Published: 8/6/2011 - Russia - Complete
I Swear He'll Love me Soon by BarracudaHeart reviews
IMPORTANT CHAPTER UPDATE AND AUTHOR NOTE PLEASE READ Updated again with story so as to not violate site rules!
Hetalia - Axis Powers - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Lithuania, Belarus - Complete
An Arranged Disaster by carakristine reviews
AU.//Princess Sakura and Prince Sasuke are arranged to be married. And neither is happy about it.//"I never thought I'd be making a deal with the devil." "Welcome to Hell, Princess."//SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 48,935 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 2/6/2011 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Somewhere In The Middle by intrajanelle reviews
The strange and dubious adventures of a middle-school aged SPR, a hapless teaching assistant and a deranged Yasuhara. All in the name of TEA!
Ghost Hunt - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,294 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 1/21/2011 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Mai T., Kazuya S./Naru - Complete
Surrender by PhoenixBlade reviews
With the battle lost, the White Queen faces the Black King... and his terms of her surrender. Based off of Gaiaonline's EI, Checkmate.
Gaia Online - Rated: T - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,948 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Complete
Bombshell Records by angelforshow reviews
AU. SasuSaku. I vow not to let Karin win. I vow not to get shitfaced every night. I vow to get revenge. This is no fairytale, people. This is WAR.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,887 - Reviews: 655 - Favs: 688 - Follows: 680 - Updated: 12/27/2010 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Pages of Ecstasy by VesperChan reviews
AU OOC Sakua finds an old book with a warning not to leave it open in the dark. When Sakura dose she finds two of the boys from inside the book in her living room, what happens when even more possessive guys come out, all pinning after her?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 103,040 - Reviews: 1227 - Favs: 854 - Follows: 650 - Updated: 9/16/2010 - Published: 7/6/2007 - Sakura H.
Beaten Black and Pink by Krabby Patties reviews
/AU/ "Shh," Sasuke whispered in my ear. "It's me. Just me." He let go of me and I spun around. "Sasuke-kun, how can you be so calm!" I was screeching now. "You killed someone! I knew you were a yakuza, a murderer!" /Kinda Sky High based/ /SxS/
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 78,935 - Reviews: 512 - Favs: 441 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Dreamer by InDiGo MaRcH reviews
"Isi, Isi, Isi," he said with a shake of his head and a grin on his face. "I'm an expert with the sword and I'm a master in martial arts…or have you forgotten?" "Razo, you're such a dreamer." ONESHOT
Goose Girl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2010 - Complete
Smear It Splendid by allurement reviews
[AU][SasuSaku] “Do you think this is a game? That fifty four school girls committing mass suicide is funny?” There are no happy endings in this one, just inbetweens.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,202 - Reviews: 796 - Favs: 574 - Follows: 607 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 11/21/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
It's For a Good Cause, I Swear! by Sarah1281 reviews
After receiving a time travel jutsu as payment for a mission, the original four members of Team 7 each get a chance to go back to one event in their life and change it. Surely they will use such an awesome power responsibly...right? Don't count on it.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 36 - Words: 114,594 - Reviews: 6148 - Favs: 10,567 - Follows: 4,017 - Updated: 3/5/2010 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Team Seven - Complete
The Romancing of Taniyama Mai by Ms Bat reviews
In principle, wagers should always be made sober, but after work drinks and devious company make even certain narcissists vulnerable to bets of a romantical kind. Consists of a series of linked one shots.
Ghost Hunt - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,596 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Kazuya S./Naru, Mai T. - Complete
Rescue Me Therapy by blankdreamer reviews
Sakura kissed Sasuke on the cheek, "Life is wonderful." She gave Ino chocolate, "You're beautiful." She gave Neji and Hinata a hug, "There is hope." She gave Naruto a smiley face sticker, "To be happy is a gift." She handed Tenten a clip, "Be who you are.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 86,058 - Reviews: 1882 - Favs: 1,304 - Follows: 566 - Updated: 12/8/2009 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
A Froggy Tale by Ms Bat reviews
AU An arrogant prince finds himself unexpectedly transformed into a frog. Can he find a way to break the spell in spite of being surrounded by people who seem to be making things difficult for him?
Ghost Hunt - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 36,289 - Reviews: 183 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 11/24/2009 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Kazuya S./Naru, Mai T. - Complete
Gestures by Maiden of the Moon reviews
Demons and humans have different ways of showing that they've missed each other... which Yako is about to learn first-hand. NeuroxYako.
Majin Tantei Nōgami Neuro - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,061 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 19 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Neuro N., Yako K. - Complete
The Romantic Side to a Pickle by HermioneTwin reviews
How can a jar of pickles charm Hermione into Malfoy's arms? Is there really a romantic side to a pickle? Read and find out! DM/HG one-shot!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,338 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 22 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Sasuke is a Moron by Natarie reviews
It started as many things are prone to: With a bet and the Akatsuki. Women are always right. Therefore, whatever happened, it was all his fault. One-Shot Crack
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23,764 - Reviews: 356 - Favs: 1,469 - Follows: 216 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Sakura H., Akatsuki - Complete
Evolution by Typhlogirl reviews
*SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE MTNN MANGA* The reuniting of a demon and his partner, 3 years on from their seperation. Who has had the strength to change? Written for a contest that I won; Oneshot, NeuroxYako
Majin Tantei Nōgami Neuro - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,815 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Neuro N., Yako K. - Complete
Ripples by Yellow Mask reviews
Complete. AU from 309 onwards. Following a botched mission, Sakura is made a slave by Sound, a position that could very well alter the future…especially concerning a certain familiar missing-nin. SasuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,883 - Reviews: 4409 - Favs: 5,652 - Follows: 1,525 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Epilogue: Routine by the punchline reviews
The exchange between Hermione and her boyfriend had become a routine. That exchange – and everything it meant – was, no doubt, the reason she woke up every morning. EPILOGUE TO BREAKING STIGMAS BUT CAN BE READ ON ITS OWN. - Previous pen name: krazie-livin
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,228 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Blaise Z., Hermione G. - Complete
Love and politics by Cassie Studios reviews
Prince Sasuke and princess Hinata are to be married, however neither of them wants it. They need to get out of this mess... And suddenly they get some help from a pinkhaired girl and a blonde vivid boy... Mainly SasuSaku, with much of NaruHina.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,545 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 10/27/2008 - Published: 7/26/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Alexander Malfoy by grednforge117 reviews
How Draco Malfoy's son helps him fall in love with the most unexpected person. Rated for language and later chapters. R&R.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 50,204 - Reviews: 799 - Favs: 2,007 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 8/17/2008 - Published: 8/18/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
Inconsequential by iolah reviews
Thirty-one moments in the span of seven years when the Slytherins got along with members of other houses perhaps better than they were supposed to. No pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,922 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 13 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Complete
Spirited by Azamiko reviews
Shorts and drabbles. Probably plotless. Now with even more crackpairings!
Ghost Hunt - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 16,909 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 5/24/2008 - Published: 1/23/2007
Flawless Mask by abstract illusioniste reviews
NEW VERSION UP!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,392 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 3/29/2008 - Published: 12/9/2007 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Reflections of a Mirror by abstract illusioniste reviews
Because fate was constantly pushing them together, whether they liked it or not. Canon pairings.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,570 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Mudblood by Sarah1281 reviews
"Mudblood? Is that your idea of an insult or something?" Draco attempts to explain to Hermione why she should be offended.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,021 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 1,107 - Follows: 178 - Published: 9/7/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Only the Cold by blue movies reviews
While in Charms class, Vincent Crabbe muses about Draco Malfoy's feelings for Hermione Granger. Oneshot. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,341 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 746 - Follows: 80 - Published: 7/19/2007 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
The Witching Hour by firefly reviews
Uchiha Sasuke, the fearless leader of Team Hebi, finds himself in over his head when he and his team stumble upon an abandoned, bizarre little inn in the middle of a nameless forest. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,337 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 603 - Follows: 56 - Published: 6/20/2007 - Sasuke U., Suigetsu H. - Complete
Crimson Reflections by Lady Hanaka reviews
The continuation of A Ripple in the Pond. Sakura Haruno is now a missingnin from Konoha, living with the Akatsuki. As she comes to terms with her new lifestyle, she must also come to terms with her new feelings for the Mangekyou wielding Uchiha.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 145,883 - Reviews: 2569 - Favs: 1,676 - Follows: 467 - Updated: 6/10/2007 - Published: 1/27/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Upside Down by TK Grimm reviews
[DeiSaku] AU. Sakura Haruno has the perfect life, perfect job, perfect friends and perfect boyfriend. That is, until she meets Deidara and her world is turned upside down.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 56,520 - Reviews: 750 - Favs: 728 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 5/30/2007 - Published: 5/3/2007 - [Deidara, Sakura H.] [Sasori, Ino Y.] - Complete
Bus Stop by Marmalade Fever reviews
Every morning, Draco and Hermione meet at the bus stop. A romance revolving around an umbrella. DMHG Post HBP COMPLETE Winner at the Dramione Awards.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,486 - Reviews: 1063 - Favs: 3,482 - Follows: 479 - Updated: 3/30/2007 - Published: 12/1/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete
The Necessities of Winter by luckei1 reviews
Draco finds a book written by Hermione and enlists her help to understand it.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,526 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 575 - Follows: 46 - Published: 2/1/2007 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
A Ripple in the Pond by Lady Hanaka reviews
Sakura Haruno is kidnapped by the Akatsuki, mainly one in particular: Uchiha Itachi. How will her friends take all of this? Will they forget she existed? Or, like a ripple in a pond, will her abduction spiral out and effect others around her? Warning:Rape
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 135,401 - Reviews: 1234 - Favs: 2,074 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 1/25/2007 - Published: 12/2/2006 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
A World Apart by lolagirl reviews
Draco Malfoy is visited by Hermione Granger in the middle of the night. But how is this possible? She's been dead for two months now... NOT a ghost story. DHr.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 31 - Words: 141,703 - Reviews: 3001 - Favs: 3,478 - Follows: 849 - Updated: 7/20/2006 - Published: 9/9/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Saving Draco Malfoy by apathetica reviews
“How does it feel? When she thanks you for saving her life?” Blaise said. Draco’s face twisted, mimicking the tightening of his chest. "Like hell.” Draco said. “Maybe you’ve got a heart after all” Blaise whispered. “That makes one of us.” Draco returned.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 95,527 - Reviews: 1159 - Favs: 890 - Follows: 580 - Updated: 1/7/2006 - Published: 9/13/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M.
Wedding Night by PlayerPiano reviews
It's Victor and Victoria's first night as a married couple...And they're both nervous enough to faint. Completed.
Corpse Bride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 12,017 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 10/23/2005 - Published: 10/17/2005 - Victor V., Victoria E. - Complete
Divine Humiliation by zarah joyce reviews
You humiliated me. I admit you played me very well. However, don't expect this to be the end. After a series of twists and turns, what will be the end of it all? FINISHED.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 86,508 - Reviews: 1823 - Favs: 1,904 - Follows: 344 - Updated: 8/30/2005 - Published: 3/21/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Observations of a Pure Blood Debutant by rainsrabble reviews
Narcissa watching Draco watch Hermione. She draws some very startling conclusions. One Shot. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,294 - Reviews: 729 - Favs: 3,022 - Follows: 392 - Published: 6/26/2005 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Public Display of Affection by Erythros reviews
[Draco Hermione] They weren’t much for PDA – that is, Public Display of Affection. After all, he was Draco Malfoy and she was Hermione Granger.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,462 - Reviews: 419 - Favs: 1,668 - Follows: 202 - Published: 6/1/2005 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Fourleaf Clovers and Slytherin Dragonflies by Campy Capybara reviews
COMPLETE:: Sent on an errand in the Forbidden Forest, Hermione discovers a secret. DMHG, Written for Wickedwitch for her birthday!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,271 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/11/2004 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
My Life As a House Elf by just call me Cappy reviews
When Hermione is turned into a House elf by an irritated wizard in Knockturn Alley, she finds herself being bought and hired to ... who else, but the Malfoys?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 46,034 - Reviews: 777 - Favs: 782 - Follows: 124 - Updated: 1/3/2004 - Published: 11/19/2002 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Once Upon A Thyme by zensho reviews
COMPLETE Draco and Hermione travel back in time and switch stations in life. Both learn tough lessons about family, honour and love. Yes - a real treat for all you DHr shippers out there who crave good, long, fanfics.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 32 - Words: 107,201 - Reviews: 3226 - Favs: 4,541 - Follows: 679 - Updated: 12/12/2003 - Published: 9/22/2003 - Draco M., Hermione G. - Complete