Shadow Kissed Chris
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Joined 05-23-08, id: 1584378, Profile Updated: 08-12-08
Author has written 6 stories for Twilight, Harry Potter, and 100.

Our Edward,
Who art in Forks,
Hallowed be thy sparkles.
Thy Volvo comes, thy will be fast,
On Earth as it is in the meadow.
Give you this day, our daily blood;
Forgive us our heartbeats,
As we worship
Carlisle for giving you life.
Lead us into temptation,
Deliver us to you.
For thine is the vampire,
The music and thy hotness,
For ever and ever,
Ed-men

Soul Catcher Civilian Outfits. (Alice would be proud)

Bella:

Jeans: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=2776&displayGroupId=24

Top: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=7757&displayGroupId=24

Christine:

Jeans: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=4456&displayGroupId=24

Top: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=7643&displayGroupId=24

Jocelyn:

Pants: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=8280&displayGroupId=7&viewback=false&swatch=true&refresh=false

Top: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=2121&displayGroupId=1&viewback=false&swatch=true&refresh=false

Jane:

Pants: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=8843&displayGroupId=7

Top: http://www.garage.ca/productDetail.aspx?productId=7695&displayGroupId=2&viewback=false&swatch=true&refresh=false

COPY ANDPASTE

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you've reread TWILIGHT over ten times, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV, copy paste this to your profile

"My knight in shining armour turned out to be a looser in aluminum foil."

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me either." -Edward Cullen. Page 92, Twilight

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"-Unknown

And God(CARLISLE) said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was goood

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember he was looking back.

Whoever said "Nothing's impossible" never tried slamming a revolving door.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

"Everything in this room, everything you see is eatable. Even I myself am eatable--except that is called cannabalism, children, and it is frowned upon in most societies."

whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you

If you have ever dreamed or wished that a book character was real (Edward!)copy and paste this in your profile.

IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM!

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the Twilight characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever spazzed out when you've seen a silver Volvo S60 R, because it reminds you of Edward Cullen, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it isn't even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think Aro acts like a creepy camp counciler, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you love copy and paste copy and paste this in your profile

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile

I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

Twilight: Because a small part inside of us broke when we realized our boy-friends weren't mythical monsters

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you jump up yelling "It's real, it's real!" in the middle of a random movie because you saw a sign that said Volterra, copy this into your profile.

If you jump up screaming during the credits of some random movie because you saw the name "Cullen" copy this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone. (The first person that enters my mind is Edward Cullen.)

If you read the Twilight series, and afterward wanted to do a large number of bad things to Jacob, and his stupid pack, put this on your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree

If you hate the fact that Edward Cullen isn't your boyfriend copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon, copy and pastes this onto your profile

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you'd leap infront of any silver volvo, just in case Edward Cullen is driving it, add this to your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Bella Swan: Clumsier than you since she was born

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1915

Emmett Cullen: Stronger than you since 1916

(In order of favorite character)

I'm the kind of girl who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's.

I'm the kind of girl who gets drunk off soda and loves every minute of it

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".

(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).


On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".

(And that would be how?)

On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".

(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna'sTiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".

(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".

(And you thought?...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".

(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".

(And...I'm taking this because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only"

(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".

(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".

(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".

(no way...are you serious?)

You know you're obsessed with Twilight when...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 40 for me

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says
something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read
them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk
about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when
you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a
vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26) You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 2cd!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you had a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43). You noticed there is no number 25

30 important things Twilight taught me

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

i didn't write this I found it on CrazedCullenLover's profile please C&P-

This poem is really sad so be prepared...

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Tangled Up In Me by Accident Prone Klutz reviews
Bella attends the exclusive Buxley Academy, an girls spy school. What happens when she is sent to Forks, with the mission of protecting one unbelievably gorgeous and arrogant Edward Masen? AU: ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 46,830 - Reviews: 255 - Favs: 258 - Follows: 352 - Updated: 5/24/2011 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Bella, Edward
Love Song by toast rox reviews
SO, for the first time ever fanfiction is letting YOU choose how the story goes... you just have to reveiw! Please read, but the ending's up to you!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,346 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/24/2008 - Published: 6/7/2008
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

He'd Do Anything reviews
What if Clarke had been accused of poisoning Lexa instead of Raven? How would Bellamy react? (Hint: not very well). One shot.
100 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,863 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 20 - Published: 1/23 - Bellamy B., Clarke G., Grounders, Octavia B.
Welcome to the Jungle
X-Over - the delinquents as professors at Hogwarts: what happens in the room of requirement doesn't always stay there - especially when there's a war going on.
Crossover - Harry Potter & 100 - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,562 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/9 - Bellamy B., Clarke G., Finn C., Raven R.
Battle Royal reviews
From the final pages of Breaking Dawn. SPOILER ALERT! READ ONLY IF YOU'VE FINISHED THE BOOK! Full summary inside. Usual pairings. Final Battle.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,434 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/7/2010 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Bella, Aro
Cantante reviews
We all know Edward left Bella in New Moon, and she slipped into a deep depression. This is where the story changes. Charlie and Renee, desprate to help Bella, send her on a trip to Italy. ExB. Starts with Edwards vampire Birth. Breaking Dawn Spoilers
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 20,824 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 9/17/2008 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Edward, Bella
Soul Catcher reviews
The life of a vampire is a wonderful one. Just ask Bella. And she works for the Volturi, where she found a place she fit. But when her world is threatened, she goes on a mission to save her species. But what she finds isn't what she's looking for
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 11,958 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/16/2008 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Bella, Edward
Poor Unfortunate Soul reviews
Rosalie told her story to Bella, but she left quite a bit out. How exactly did she meet Royce? And what happened after she killed him? Find out here! Written up to Emmet and Rosalie's relationship. The murder's are a bit graphic. Sorry! Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 15,353 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 5/28/2008 - Rosalie, Edward - Complete