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Joined 05-27-08, id: 1587906, Profile Updated: 03-26-10


An angel with tattered wings and broken faith is the one who realizes that God has left her and she is alone.


Witty Remark

Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.

The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those who choose to break free from that abyss and move silently among us.

This is a general disclaimer for all my stories. I don't own Twilight or the Host. Stephenie Meyer does. I only own my own plot lines and any unique characters I manage to think up.

This is my one and only warning for all. If you like stories where the main character or hero comes out of every conflict unscathed then my writing is not for you. I don't believe in overly fluffy endings. They don't gel with me. I do hope you enjoy my stories anyways. Have fun reading.

Here is the link to the pic of Bella's new car in Death of a Lifetime. This is one sweet as hell car. Hope you like it.

Here is the link to Bella's bag from The Volturi Disguise:

Her pants:

Her shirt: (the purple one)

Life is a scary beautiful thing. It has its high points and its low points. Most of the time life isn't fair, that is a fact of life we all must face. But if you look to your friends and stay with what you believe in then you have no worries. You will always be able to find your way in the crazy way and maze that is our world. So don't worry you'll make it and in the points you think you won't, write. Write your heart and soul and pour it onto paper.

I'm not a poet. I may pour my heart and soul out onto paper but in the end, its just words.
~Donna Culbreth.

Just so I can clear the air before something happens, I have a deviantart and the account name is ShadowsFinder. I will be putting some of my poetry on there. Also I am going to be getting more active on my old quizilla account from years ago and moving some of my poems there. the account is DarkEarth94.

Give Me Hugs PLEASE!

Press the Red Button


1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.

5.. I thought that I could love no other
-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's
empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.

There's nothing more addictive than a wound that's self inflicted.

If you love music there is only one place to go! the number one music cite EVER!

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alivePledge for Hollywood Undead

Pledge allegiance to the mask,
That I'll carry whisky in my flask,
And anyone to diss HU,
I'll leave a bloody mess with you,
For we are family, you and I,
3 Tears for you, we all shall cry,
All day all night, our flags will fly,
The Undead Army Till The Day We Die.

Here is a small fact. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE
////////////// =_= ////////////////////////

.. .. ~A true friend can see the suffering in your eyes, while everyone else can just see the smile on your face~ ~

~You Asked me What was wrong and I said nothing... Then I turned round and whispered: EVERYTHING!!

98 of teens are bringing sexy back. I'm part of the 2 where the sexy never left!

A bunny, her eyes are taped wide open, and a stinging liquid (Laundry Detergent), is slowly dripped into her open eyes. The test was/is done to see how much laundry detergent is needed, before the animal goes blind, or her eyes are completely burned out. The test showed: Laundry detergent is damaging when splashed into eyes. Really? No way!"
ANIMAL TESTING IS SOO WRONG!! If you agree put this on your page


For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

Cinderella walked on broken glass
Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast
Jasmine married a common thief
Ariel walked on land for love & life
Snow white barely escaped the knife
it was all about blood, sweat, & tears
because love means facing your

93 of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there
are concerned with being popular and fitting in.
If you're part of the five percent who aren't,
copy this, put it in your profile,
and add your name to the list.

AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, Mina the Mischevious, SnowNeko, KylaMizuki, SkyeEyesSparkle7135, Ms.Misery,SouthernSecrets15. ChristinaXCuriosity, StarLightResurrects, Gods dolphin girl, lacey loves dakota, dragongirl, AliceonSugar

~Depression: Anger without Enthusiasm
I am STRONG because I am weak
I am BEAUTIFUL because I know my flaws
I am a LOVER because I am a fighter
I am FEARLESS because I have been afraid
I am WISE because I have been foolish
--and I can LAUGH because I’ve known sadness

~Not only do I fall down stairs.
I trip up them as well.
Now that takes talent!

~SMILE it makes people wonder what you’re up too…

~ I've built a wall not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it.
~The only people you need in your life are the ones that need you in theirs.

once upon a time there was a little girl. "mommy!" she shouted when she was finally rejoined with her mom after 6 months of chemo. all the mother did was cry while she held her little girl in her arms. mellissa was 6 and her mom was 31. "mommy i was living with nana and she bought me new toys and everything!" again the moms response was crying. she had been through so much pain and needles were shoved up her vains repetidly everyday. 4 months later nana died. 19 months later mellissas mom died. she had no other family and she was finally adopted at age 15. although she hated her life and commited suicide after 2 years with her new family. post this on your profile if you have someone in your family with cancer or that died because of suicide

(My great-aunt died of cancer)

Your perfect little girl dropped a grade on her report card.

Your perfect little girl yelled at you last night.

Your perfect little girl talked back to you again.

Your perfect little girl painted her nails black.

Your perfect little girl has lied to you all her life.

Your perfect little girl cries herself to sleep every night.

Your perfect little girl dated before she was sixteen.

Your perfect little girl was broken by a boy.

Your perfect little girl hates you.

Your perfect little girl has given up on life.

Your perfect little girl had a tantrum today.

Your perfect little girl wants to run away.

Your perfect little girl has no real friends.

Your perfect little girl hasn't let you dry her tears.

Your perfect little girl disobeys you.

Your perfect little girl hates the world.

Your perfect little girl is hated by the world in return.

Your perfect little girl is very unhappy.

Your perfect little girl has become a disgrace.

Your perfect little girl...well she's not so perfect anymore...

(no one is perfect, so don't hold it against them ... when they mess up)


by; Fearlessly in love

night and day
life and death
peaceful and loud
so alike but so different
your different from me
im different from you
your quiet like the day
im loud like the night
you can walk down the street with a smile
i just walk down the street dying inside
you can smile and mean it
i smile when i want people to think im ok
you sit in your bed peacefully asleep
i lay in bed soaked in tears
your arms are strong and clean
my have scars and blood
see your different
im just as they say another whinney kid
or am i different
or are you the same
im so confused
your day im night
your life im death
your a happy person
but what am i...?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you'd walk 5,000 miles to spend 5 minutes with someone who you love, put this in your profile."

~I believe that everything happens for a Reason..
People change so that You can learn to let go..
Things go wrong so that You appriciate them when they're right..
You believe lies so You eventually learn to trust no one but yourself..
And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can piece together...

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you... copy and paste this onto your profile.
(if you don't... you better watch your back... they're coming for you next.)

(\ /)
(>" /_\ Help evil bunny further on his
quest of world domination!

c(")(") This is another bunny... but you don't have to put him on your profile. He's kind of shy..

Don't Label MeI'm Not A F ucking Soup Can!


~This is Bob..
Bob likes you..
Bob also likes sharp things..
I suggest you run from Bob...

~You're a great friend but if zombies chase us...I'm tripping you.

~It is better to look stupid and keep your mouth shut than to open it and prove it.

~I'm going to Smile like nothing is wrong,
Talk like everything is perfect,
Act like it's all a dream,
And Pretend it's not hurting me..

~Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

"A shot to kill the pain
A pill to drain the shame
A purge to stop the gain
A cut to break the vein
A smoke to ease the crave
A drink to win the game
An addiction's an addiction
Because it always hurts the same"

ѕєℓƒ нαям αωαяєηєѕѕ
... ...

~Not all scars show, not all wounds heal you can't always see The pain someone feels.
~ She says she doesn't care, but her eyes tell a different story
~ Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart.
~Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me.
~I wake up and think dreams are real. I sleep so I don't have to feel.
~Cause f ucking up takes practice, and I feel I'm well rehearsed.
~ I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.

ι'м иσт ∂єρяєѕѕє∂ -- ι'м נυѕт αℓωαуѕ ѕα∂.
ι'м иσт ¢яуιиg -- му єуєѕ αяє נυѕт fυℓℓ σf тєαяѕ.
ι’м иσт ℓινιиg -- ι נυѕт кєєρ вяєαтнιиg.
ι'м иσт ѕтυρι∂ -- ι נυѕт ∂σи’т gєт ιт.
ι’м иσт тяуιиg -- ι’νє αℓяєα∂у gινєи υρ.
ι'м иσт ωєιя∂ -- ι'м נυѕт ∂ιffєяєит.
ι'м иσт α яєвєℓ -- ι נυѕт ∂σи’т тαкє σя∂єяѕ.
ι'м иσт α вєℓιєνєя -- ι’νє αℓяєα∂у ℓσѕт нσρє.
ι'м иσт α fυ¢к υρ -- ι נυѕт мαкє мιѕтαкєѕ.
ι'м иσт ємσтισиαℓ -- ι נυѕт нανє α ℓσт σf fєєℓιиgѕ.
ι'м иσт α ¢υттєя -- ι נυѕт fσυи∂ α ωαу тσ gєт яι∂ σf ραιи.
ι'м иσт ℓαυgнιиg -- ι иєє∂ тσ ѕмιℓє fιяѕт
ι'м иσт ρєяfє¢т -- ι ∂σи’т ωαит тσ вє.
ι'м иσт ιgиσяιиg -- ι נυѕт ¢нσσѕє иσт тσ ℓιѕтєи.
ι'м иσт α gσѕѕιρ -- ι нανє му σωи ℓιfє.
ι'м иσт ιмραтιєит -- ι נυѕт ∂σи’т ℓιкє тσ ωαιт.
ι'м иσт тσυgн -- ι נυѕт ∂σи’т тαкє ѕнιт.
ι'м иσт σριиισиαтє∂ -- ι נυѕт νσι¢є ωнαт ι тнιик.
ι'м иσт qυєѕтισиιиg -- ι נυѕт нανє му ∂συвтѕ.
ι'м иσт нι∂ιиg -- ι נυѕт ωαит тσ ∂ιѕαρρєαя.

im sorry if i...

CRY too much
SMILE too big
LAUGH alot
SING in the car
CUT my wrist
DANCE in the rain
SLEEP on the floor
TALK too loud
TRY too hard

just remember im me not you
repost this on your page if you've been judged

Some of the funniest things I have ever heard.

"No! I won't go to h ell! I've got a restraing order."
"Do not make me throw a possum at your face."
"If you read're finished reading."
"It'll be funnier than a penguin playing a banjo."
"He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. She said: You wear pants, don't you?"
"I don't need to 'get a life'. I'm a gamer. I have lots of lives."
"I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with a rock...or something."
"I've got A.D.D. and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have." "If I wake up with marker on my face...I'll stab you!"
"Bring out ur inner ninja."
"No, as a matter of fact, you did not do my mom last night. Thanks."
"Every time I go to the doctors, I get a jacket. A straight one. it makes me feel special because I get to hug myself."
"I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter."
"Hi. I'll eat you if you make me mad."
"The greener grass on the other side is probably artificial turf."
"I am a loud man with a very large hat! This means I am in charge!"
"You are hot, sexy, and nice. Oops, sorry, wrong person."
"I dreamt of you last night... you were screaming and you had a toothpick in your eye."

Some of my favorite quotes or things I have found.

1. I'll write your name on the bullet so that they will all know you were the last thing to go through my mind

2. A million broken hearts are carried on a million broken wings

3. I don't run away from you I walk away slowly, and it kills me because you don't care enough to stop me.

4. His little whispers, love me, love me, that's all I ask for, love me love me, he battered his tiny wrists to feel something, wondered what it's like to touch and feel something

5. As she sits in the corner face to the floor she dispose smoke from her lips, and slowly floats away with it, letting go of so much pain, and the tears, are thick enough to stain the pavement that slowly become, her best friend when she needs to run away

6. Words that can not be said stream down my face silently

7. Anyone can catch your eyes but it takes someone special to catch you heart

8.To write love on her arms, to spill suicide from her wrists

9.You once said that you would never see my heart break, so did you close your eyes when you said those hurtful and irrevocable words?

10. Throw the bottle, Break the door, and disappear, Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams, waiting to say, I miss you I'm so sorry

11. Scream, Like you didn't have any attention any way

12. I'm gonna draw a picture, a picture with a twist, I'm gonna draw it with a razor blade, I'm gonna draw it on my wrist,And if I draw it correctly, A red fountain will appear... To wash away my sorrows, To chase away my fears.

13. Sick of crying, tired of trying, and yeah I'm smiling, but inside, I'm dying

14. Secrets don't make friends, only broken hearts

15.A boy gave his girl 12 roses; 11 real and one fake. He said, "I will love you until the last rose dies."

16.A broken heart is like a broken mirror. It's better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.

17. And sometimes you make me so mad I wanna throw you in the middle of on-going traffic;
but then I realize I would probably kill myself trying to save you.

18.Cracks in the concrete show that you fall apart no matter how strong you are.

19.If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.

20.Roses are red, violets are blue. My rose is white, and it's bleeding for you.

21. Sticks and stones, may break my bones, but your words, they surely kill, is it worth it, to die a little each day, all for unseen grace?When I say I'm fine, what I'm really saying is,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~F ucked up~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I nsecure~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~N eurotic~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~E motional~~~~~~

Yeah I'm JUST fine.

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Children of the Dark - Year 5 by cleotheo reviews
It's fifth year for the trio, and it's finally time for Voldemort to strike and get rid of Dumbledore. But before that changes are afoot in the wizarding world. It's time for a new Minister of Magic, and of course, a new Defence Professor. Then of course there's the matter of one final year undercover for the trio. Dark Harry! Dark Hermione! Part five of a seven part series.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 104,966 - Reviews: 1516 - Favs: 749 - Follows: 733 - Updated: 6/13/2016 - Published: 1/25/2016 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] Harry P. - Complete
The Gloves by cleotheo reviews
When Harry and Ron see Hermione buying a present in the quidditch shop, they get the wrong end of the stick. Their subsequent confusion leads to them discovering a secret about their best friend. Fun, lighthearted one shot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,995 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 341 - Follows: 77 - Published: 6/10/2016 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Where We Belong by cleotheo reviews
A tragedy robbed Hermione of the wizard she loved during the war, but she managed to move on with her life with some help from her friends. But what happens when Hermione starts seeing a face from the past? Is she imagining her dead boyfriend, or is there something more sinister at work? Is Draco really alive, or is Hermione just losing her mind?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 19 - Words: 50,781 - Reviews: 703 - Favs: 300 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 4/29/2016 - Published: 3/1/2016 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
The Green Girl by Colubrina reviews
Hermione is sorted into Slytherin; how will things play out differently when the brains of the Golden Trio has different friends? AU. Darkish Dramione. COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 150,508 - Reviews: 4244 - Favs: 6,299 - Follows: 2,396 - Updated: 4/26/2015 - Published: 2/6/2015 - [Hermione G., Draco M.] Harry P., Daphne G. - Complete
Animals by dyk3adellic reviews
Draco watched her from the dark, his grey eyes hooded with lust. The thrill of the chase always got to him. But this one was different. This one he wanted to keep instead of kill. Ginny Weasley would be his.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,089 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/18/2014 - Draco M., Ginny W. - Complete
Life After Him by numbandalone reviews
Bella's life after Edward leaves. What happens during the skipped time in the book? What will happen when a new person enters Bella's life from her past? *Stephanie Meyer owns all characters except Greg* please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,826 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/30/2014 - Published: 12/11/2009 - Angela, Bella, Charlie S., Mike
The Dark Lady Rules by cleotheo reviews
Part 2 of The Dark Lady Trilogy. With Voldemort out of the picture it's time for Hermione to step up and take charge of the Death Eaters. At the same time she has to contend with keeping her dark secret from Harry and Ron. Romance also blossoms for The Dark Lady as she finally gets the wizard she's always dreamt of, Draco Malfoy. Dark Hermione!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 104,026 - Reviews: 1363 - Favs: 1,275 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 8/1/2014 - Published: 5/8/2014 - Hermione G., Draco M. - Complete
Cookies and Lollipops by youdude reviews
An unsub hits JJ and Emily with they're small children. How will the team deal with two little kids running around the BAU? Won a CM Profiler's Choice Fanfic Award for Best Humour and Best Emily/JJ.
Criminal Minds - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 30 - Words: 102,259 - Reviews: 685 - Favs: 293 - Follows: 324 - Updated: 11/13/2013 - Published: 8/15/2010 - Jennifer J./JJ, E. Prentiss
My Life Just Got a Lot More Exciting by Kelsey-Short reviews
When 13 year old Holly runs away from home she runs right into trouble. She soon discovers that she is the daughter of a powerful goddess and hopefully with the help of Percy she will survive this. NEEDS REVISION but has a good plot.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 34,649 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 2/18/2010 - Percy J., Annabeth C. - Complete
Daddy's little girl by Kelsey-Short reviews
I am Camellia or Cami for short-I have been searching for my father, Carlisle Cullen, for 150 yrs. At last found him and have been excepted into his family, but Forbidden love, power, and danger have entered my life. Welcome to my story. NEEDS REVISION
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 23,280 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/6/2013 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hermione Black by MelodiDam reviews
Hermione is not a Granger, nor a Mudblood. The brains of the Golden Trio is known in some circles and the Dark Princess. Some Order members are not what they appear to be. AU
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 63 - Words: 81,188 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 1,006 - Follows: 548 - Updated: 8/4/2013 - Published: 5/6/2013 - Hermione G., Voldemort, Bellatrix L. - Complete
We're Friends Forever by discussionsonpaper reviews
Bella, Alice, Rose, Edward, Jasper and Emmett used to be best friends when they were growing up. But when high school came, and the cliques had broken them up. Full summary inside. Will be swear words. Rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 25,178 - Reviews: 646 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 342 - Updated: 2/12/2013 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Ancient History by 7teen.4ever reviews
Senior Year is here for Bella and Edward both. Edward is new here, and Bella has a frozen heart from before summer. They have one class together Ancient History, will sparks fly between them, or will Senior year just be Ancient History? AU, OCC, AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,201 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/14/2011 - Published: 3/3/2010 - Bella, Edward
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13059 - Favs: 6,150 - Follows: 2,790 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Hermione Granger and Ministerial Decree 7391 by SJMuggle reviews
Hermione Granger always assumed she'd one day officially become a Weasley. However, when the Ministry implements a Marriage Law she finds herself compelled to join the Weasley family sooner than she anticipated and in a way she never would have imagined.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 51,606 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 9/11/2011 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Hermione G., George W. - Complete
Things a Vampire Can’t Do by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
A series of VERY FUNNY one-shots of things our favorite vampires can't do. Set in Eclipse. Brought to you by JasperSAYSrelax128 writer of "Oops, he did it again!"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,383 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/22/2009 - Complete
The Good Left Undone by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to "Player Haters". Bella and the Cullens are starting college, and having the time of their lives......until students start to go missing. Will Bella's past have anything to do with it? ALL HUMAN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 45,062 - Reviews: 1328 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Complete
Player Haters by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Edward and Bella have been bickering since kindergarten. He's a player, and she is his sister's best friend. What happens when they discover their true feelings for each other, right before it all ends? ALL HUMAN! FUNNY!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 47,549 - Reviews: 907 - Favs: 638 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Complete
Oops, he did it again! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
When the family goes hunting,Emmett and Jasper Bella-sit. They decide to play truth or dare. Contains Jasper in Wal-Mart, Bella kissing, Emmett in jail? and Blue paint...will Emmett get in trouble...AGAIN? Won the Fanpire Fanfiction Best Humor award!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 68,268 - Reviews: 3129 - Favs: 1,752 - Follows: 581 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 4/23/2009 - Complete
It All Started With a Comment by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Sequel to "Oops, he did it Again!" Funny One-shots of crazy, hilarious, insanely awesome incidents that all started...with a comment. All Vampire, no Renemesmee, Wolves may show up later.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 9,328 - Reviews: 736 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/11/2009
Feel Good Drag by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Bella is one of the top street racers in Arizona. But when a recent race ends up in a police chase, Renee sends her to live with Charlie in Forks. What happens happens when she discovers an underground racing site, and meets new friends? SUMMARY INSIDE AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 41,450 - Reviews: 1279 - Favs: 797 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
ACTION! by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Funny Takes...making fun of the Twilight MOVIE! HILARIOUS! if you want to laugh.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,151 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 8/3/2009
A Lesson in Charades by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Don’t Forget SEQUEL. Bella is finally marrying Edward, until she is kidnapped before she makes it to the Altar by 4 vampires that take an interest in her. When Alice can’t SEE them, how will they save Bella in time before she is betrothed to another? AV
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,307 - Reviews: 476 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 176 - Updated: 1/26/2011 - Published: 7/13/2009
It's all a part of my plan new version by skyblueclouds reviews
new version of Khockeygrl4's story Bella's parents die the day she is born, very intelligent she raises herself 13 years and one day walking home from school 3 not so normal boys try to kidnap her, but she wins how does she do this, and what is she?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,537 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
Every 28 Days by Surviving Sheika reviews
Bella's suffering from. . .feminine issues. What will Edward do? And the rest of the Cullen family? Read and find out! Rated T to be safe!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,084 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Bella - Complete
Double Dare by QuothTheRaven reviews
He pulled me even closer, so I was flush against him. Even in the cold of the night, I blushed. He leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I dare you... to kiss me.” Rating may change. AU/AH E/B.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,466 - Reviews: 374 - Favs: 244 - Follows: 269 - Updated: 3/28/2010 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Edward, Bella
Darren's new toy by Rainbowness reviews
Mr. Crepsley brings home a new assistant for Darren. Why is Darren having feelings for this little new comer? Why cant he control himself when Jade's around? Warning: BoyXboy relationship [DarenXOC]
Darren Shan Saga/Cirque Du Freak - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,665 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 10/31/2007
WolfPrint by Bella-with-the-blue-eyes reviews
Seth always thought being a wolf was the most important thing, until he met her. Aislin just wants to a normal life and has no time for guys, until she met him. Can these two strangers find love? Or will it be too late? All it takes is one stormy night.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,672 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Seth
Emmett's Home Video's! by MangoTango450 reviews
Emmett, being Emmett, decided that he was bored one evening, so he got video cameras and started filming, but nothing awesome was going on, so he took things into his own hands and started pranking people! R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 5,546 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Emmett
Can players change No Maybe by shazz95 reviews
Edward Cullen is the player at forks high and Bella and her brother Emmett are the new kids and Edward wants Bella. But Bella doesn't want him because of her history in LA But Bella has a different guy she likes but will her history rebeat itself
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,708 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 6/2/2009
Vampire or Werewolf? by JasperSAYSrelax128 reviews
Edward and Jacob switch bodies for a day....Will they be able to handle Edward in a werewolf body, and Jacob in a Vampire body? What does Bella think?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,921 - Reviews: 331 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 6/25/2009 - Published: 5/10/2009 - Complete
Help me please! by CowgirlKelly reviews
My name is Bella Swan my brother Jasper and I live with our father since our mother died when I was born. When I turned 14 it all started and now the new kids at school are determined to help even if it means them getting hurt in the process. All human!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 16 - Words: 44,251 - Reviews: 257 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 6/14/2009 - Published: 6/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Cigarette Burns by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
AH. Bella is a local junkie and Edward is a famous artist. He meets Bella outside of one of his art shows and she ends up going home with him. ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,585 - Reviews: 1073 - Favs: 1,043 - Follows: 546 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Bella, Edward
Solstice ,A Pointe at Twilight by TheOfficialJordanLorenna reviews
Bella's half sister Lizzie's mother is tormenting her again and now her dreams are becomeing more and more frightening.When she's forced to relocate to Forts,Washington where her stepmother is doing a TV show,she comes across the Cullens.Her fate?Find out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,723 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/6/2009 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Elizabeth, Bella
The New Cullen by dazzledbyu88 reviews
Bella becomes part of the Volturi when Edward leaves her. Now, 50 years later she is sent on an undercover mission to live with the Cullens, aka edward. This story is filled with drama, bratty vampires, royalty, balls and masks, and finally, true love.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 47,807 - Reviews: 630 - Favs: 339 - Follows: 412 - Updated: 3/25/2009 - Published: 12/14/2007
There is No One Left to Protect Me, No One to Care by SRWM reviews
When Emmett leaves for college Bella is left alone with their not to kind parents. With parents who hate her, A friend who's dad is a doctor, and her brother coming home for a visit, can she handle it, or will her parents break her under the pressure?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,020 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 3/24/2009 - Published: 6/8/2008 - Bella
La Tua Cantante by Beautiful Addiction reviews
What happens if it was switched? Bella is a vampire and Edward is human. Bella and Edward fall in love, but at what price? Can love really overcome all? BXE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,646 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 3/18/2009 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Edward, Bella
A Child of the Night by l'heure bleue reviews
"I'm like a Vampire," she murmured. "Because, in mere seconds, the sun could kill me." - Bella Swan is a girl living her life in fear of the light. Edward Cullen is simply a normal boy. They're worlds apart, but... "You're my sun, Edward." – ExB ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 194,119 - Reviews: 9664 - Favs: 2,390 - Follows: 980 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Meyer University by Sh.C reviews
Bella moves to college where she meets and befriends the Cullens and Hales. Edward Cullen goes through many girls he meets Bella & sees something he likes. Much better Summary Inside. All Human. Adventure, mystery, humor & of course,a little romance! AU
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 184,281 - Reviews: 8260 - Favs: 5,987 - Follows: 2,228 - Updated: 1/8/2009 - Published: 11/2/2007 - Complete
A Distant Star by Word-Wizard reviews
Fifteen year old Rain is different. Her eyes can be the color of the Dreamspeaker. Arianna and Chase don't exactly trust her, but she may turn out to be the most vauable ally they can have.
Unicorns of Balinor - Rated: K - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,029 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 10/11/2007
Four Years To Forget by BeccaMarie56 reviews
Bella is 14 and lives with Renee and Charlie in FL. Charlie has been abusing Bella and Renee for 4 yrs. What happend when Charlie takes it a step further. Where does Bella go when Charlie kills Renee? Full summery inside. B/E later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,019 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008
My Immortal by Khockeygrl4 reviews
Its been a month since Edward has left Bella. She never went to Jake for help, he came to her a week after Edward left and raped her. What will Bella do now? Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,438 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 12/5/2008 - Published: 9/17/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella, The Hockey Player by Khockeygrl4 reviews
Bella is a vamp who plays hockey, can sort of change into human and it is 70 years since she's seen Edward. She goes to the U of M, and its her first game of the season and there is an unknown vampire there. Who is it? Please R&R! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,962 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 12/5/2008 - Published: 10/2/2008 - Bella
Roommates by dear forever yours reviews
Edward and his new roommate can't exactly get along, why is that? Maybe it's cause they're just so darn different. You know what they say, opposites attract. New summary, and title, previously known as 'Him or Her' read and review, yeah?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,832 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 11/17/2008 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Bella, Edward
Unowned by MzViolet reviews
Always so different, from the rest of her kind, from everyone. Then one day, her caretaker dissapears, and she sets off for a small town that pays residents to a clan that might just be hers.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,380 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/26/2008 - Published: 9/28/2008
Saving Shorts by MzViolet reviews
All others had failed. But he was determind. There was no way, after what had happened, that Oliver Oken would let himself get pantsed.
Hannah Montana - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Published: 9/20/2008 - Complete
Next July Fools Day by TeamEdwardCullen8208 reviews
SEQUEL TO JULY FOOLS DAY? Bella's a big bad vamp now, and she's got a few tricks up her sleeve. With a new power and newborn superstrength, anything can happen. And you can rest assured that something will.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 19 - Words: 33,449 - Reviews: 767 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 9/20/2008 - Published: 4/26/2008
Picking Charlie's Brain by vjgm reviews
It is Post Breaking Dawn, and Bella is changed, and married to Edward. Charlie finds out that Bella is a vampire, but no one believes him. They take him to the hospital and put him under the care of the skilled Dr. Dover! Fun ensues :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,413 - Reviews: 381 - Favs: 407 - Follows: 106 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Charlie S. - Complete
You May Now Kiss the Bride by vjgm reviews
This is my version of the wedding starring then minister, Emmett Cullen. With Emmett in charge, you know that humor will be involved. How does Emmett handle this important job? Will he behave? Or will Bella and Edward kill him? ONESHOT of SILLINESS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,887 - Reviews: 613 - Favs: 1,249 - Follows: 196 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Emmett
The Cullens plus Amusement Park equals DISASTER! by Twilight Fan Girls reviews
The Cullens want to have some family fun together and settle on heading to an amusement park. The boys make bets on who thet think will hit the most rides, and the winner gets to force the others into embarrassing dares...but who will win? NEW CHAPTER UP
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 32,480 - Reviews: 547 - Favs: 306 - Follows: 150 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8414 - Favs: 7,612 - Follows: 1,773 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Emmett and Tampons ! by Katxo reviews
Title pretty much says it all It's Bella's time of the month and she is staying with the Cullen's. Emmett is sent to the drug store to pick up some stuff... See what kind of trouble he gets himself into with tampons ... and pads! REVIEW! xxONESHOT!xx
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,616 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 43 - Published: 3/27/2008 - Complete
I Want a Divorce by MyLion.MyLamb reviews
AU: Edward left Bella after they were married...again...50yrs. later, Bella is a vampire and wants a divorce.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,360 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 64 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Complete
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 1,078 - Follows: 298 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Unicorns of Balinor: Burning Truth by Comatose Muffin reviews
Reyna, a young girl running from her abusive past, stumbles upon a series of caves, running deep into the glacier mountains. In another world, the golden unicorn, Renegade, wanders Balinor's forests aimlessly. Will they meet? What will happen?
Unicorns of Balinor - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,451 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/13/2007 - Published: 5/9/2007
Battles: Horn vs Sword by White Mask Black Eyes reviews
The end has come. All hangs in the balance now that the Key has come to Luster. Join Cara, Lightfoot, and company on this final journey.
Unicorn Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 781 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/9/2006