Architeuthis
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Joined 01-23-02, id: 159140
Author has written 5 stories for Transformers/Beast Wars, and Lord of the Rings.
I was born in Baltimore, MD on 9/26/63.

You guys do the math.

After years of drudgery in an insurance firm, I returned to school to get a B.S. in biology. I am now trying for my Masters, as I want to be a scientist when I grow up.

I spent too many of my formative years reading "MAD" magazine and watching Warner Brothers cartoons, which explains my sense of humor.

Shameless Plug Department:

If the fics here have somehow whetted your appetite for more of my work, you're in luck. There is more.

Beast Wars fans can find my comedy lists on http:///realmlibrary/archives.html

Fans of the PPC can find my Intelligence Briefs on http:///~vze3b4pq. I also have an essay on original characters here.

Enjoy!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

RECAPTURED Part I by Llinos reviews
AU UrukHai recapture Merry & Pippin and things change. The two suffer many trials and tribulations as a result! Appearances by all the other LotR characters CHAPTERS 192! STORY RESUMES IN RECAPTURED CONTINUED CHAPTERS 13 REWRITTEN NEW MATERIAL!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Angst/Adventure - Chapters: 92 - Words: 348,564 - Reviews: 510 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/19/2007 - Published: 9/16/2002 - Meriadoc B., Peregrin T.
Summon the Lambs to Slaughter by La Guera reviews
When a bizarre transfer student comes to Hogwarts, Snape pushes her to the breaking point. But when he's accused of a crime he never committed, she is the only one who can prove his innocence.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 53 - Words: 445,960 - Reviews: 396 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 3/27/2006 - Published: 9/2/2002
Ashes, East Winds, Hope that Rises by ErinRua reviews
Through EOMER's eyes - the peril of Rohan, the duplicity of the Wormtongue, and the coming of hope to the Riddermark. Cast -Eomer, Aragorn, Theoden, Grima, Eowyn, Gimli, Legolas and several good horses. MITHRIL AWARD Finalist!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,557 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/25/2005 - Published: 12/3/2002 - Aragorn, Grima W.
The Weeping Wraith by Katharine Faith reviews
AU, bookmovieverse. A disastrous attack forces the Fellowshippers to follow different paths in order to fulfill the Quest. Beware the very, very tiny chapter... (wince)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 120,489 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 4/18/2005 - Published: 4/21/2002
The Official Fanfiction University of Narnia by Aisshe reviews
A Miss Cam-authorized OFUM spin-off. Prepare to be welcomed by a sword-fighting mouse and grouchy Marshwiggle, and to meet the acquaintance of the minis! Complete with learning through pain, and a multi-tasking course coordinator.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,215 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/24/2005 - Published: 1/22/2004 - Complete
The Care and Feeding of Hobbits by Baylor reviews
Ruminations on the Little People by Boromir, Man of Gondor. NEW CHAPTER: HOBBIT CUSTOMS AND CELEBRATIONS.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,649 - Reviews: 549 - Favs: 747 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 6/15/2004 - Published: 11/17/2002 - Boromir, Peregrin T.
Captain My Captain by Isabeau of Greenlea reviews
Chapter 53. The Promise. The dinner with Faramir continues, and this story finally ends. Now Complete!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 53 - Words: 307,329 - Reviews: 890 - Favs: 414 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 11/28/2003 - Published: 1/19/2002 - Faramir - Complete
Mutant Dawn by Cobra-kun reviews
A seemingly insurmountable challenge forces foes to unite. On hiatus but coming back! You all thought I had abadoned it, but no!
X-Men: Evolution - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 61,894 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/16/2003 - Published: 5/28/2003
One by One, They Will Fall by Salysha reviews
They were the best of the best; they formed the Fellowship of the Ring. One by one, the Ring destroyed them all. The tale of the ominous journey from Rivendell to Amon Hen rewritten. Angst, AU.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,755 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/12/2003 - Published: 8/19/2002 - Frodo B., Aragorn
The Groupie of Dol Guldur by Wild Iris reviews
Úlairiel, maiden of Mirkwood, crashes the all-boys Ringwraith club. Parody, AU; rated for disturbing imagery of spooning Nazgûl. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,466 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/24/2003 - Published: 10/14/2002 - Sauron, Aragorn - Complete
I, Grûsbálk by Simbelmyne reviews
*AU* All Amy wanted was a movie-based Middle-earth, where everyone spoke English and she was a lovely elf-maid. Sadly, she had a sadist for a writer. Read about her saga of pain, love, and despair. But mostly pain. [7/7: 9/9 & epilogue] *COMPLETE!*
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 21,071 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/6/2003 - Published: 10/24/2002 - Complete
PPC: From the Files of Polaris and Aria by Cat Meringue reviews
Two partners protecting the canon from the scum of the Sue.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,508 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/28/2003 - Published: 8/20/2002
One Ring To Rule Them All by Neon Star reviews
Sauron is overthrown by Frodo, and he takes his place. The remaining seven of the fellowship are his prisoners. May become PG-13 in later chapters.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,182 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 10/27/2002 - Published: 1/26/2002
A Klingon in Middle Earth by twin03 reviews
A transporter accident brings Worf into Middle Earth, where he accompanies the Fellowship on their Quest. Crossover: LOTRStar Trek. Alternate endings added. Story last updated 92102.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 24,849 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/21/2002 - Published: 9/2/2002 - Complete
Where the Shadows Lie by Robin4 reviews
In an alternate universe, Frodo makes the wrong choice and Sauron regains the Ring. With the Fellowship held captive along with Elrond and Galadriel, how will the Dark Lord be be overcome? Book or movie.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 28 - Words: 75,794 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/21/2002 - Published: 1/17/2002 - Gandalf, Galadriel - Complete
Band of Hobbits by The Barrow-Wight reviews
From Appendix A: "To the help of the king [in Norbury] [[the hobbits of the Shire] sent some archers who never returned; and others went also to the battle in which Angmar was overthrown." This is the tale of those valiant hobbits.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,354 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 7/20/2002 - Published: 7/13/2002
Mary Sue, Sue Mary and the Broken Plot Continuum by Nath reviews
Mary Sue and Sue Mary finally dared to go to Middle Earth now the original PPC were no longer hunting their kind. A wise decision?!? - Completed (minor edits 30/04/2003)
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,096 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 7/14/2002 - Published: 5/12/2002 - Complete
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3184 - Favs: 2,011 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
Frodo Baggins: Lord of His Own Ring by ThePet reviews
*BOOK 1 NOW COMPLETE* Five shortarses, an effeminate elf, King Hobo, a scruffy wizard and a bloke with an enormous horn set out for Mordor...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,792 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 24 - Updated: 2/24/2002 - Published: 2/1/2002 - Complete
A Day in the Life of a Ring-wraith by Kyrri reviews
More serious than the title would imply - please be gentle, this is my first try! Please Review!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,540 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/16/2002
Nine Men And A Little Lady by Kielle reviews
Once upon a time a mysterious girl joined the Fellowship...damn her! Sick of annoying Mary Sues? Actually READ Tolkien? This may cheer you up.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,725 - Reviews: 1297 - Favs: 2,542 - Follows: 298 - Published: 1/8/2002
I Was Right by Earthwalk reviews
Severus Snape's years at Hogwarts, from entrance to graduation. Not Book 5 compliant yet, if ever. Warning: Some romance with Lily.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 66,846 - Reviews: 604 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/4/2001 - Published: 10/17/2000 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Diary of the Watcher in the Water reviews
The Watcher has his/her/its say....
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,945 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/11/2002 - Published: 2/23/2002
Asura reviews
Scorponok finds a friend. This proves to be bad news for the Maximals.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,200 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/6/2002
The Misfit reviews
AU What if the Maximals, not the Predcaons, had found the Fuzors' stasis pods?
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,212 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/31/2002
Fun and Games reviews
Two mischevious young Vok amuse themselves at the Beast Warriors' expense.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,005 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/17/2002
Inferno Goes to Hollywood reviews
After seeing "Titanic", a star-struck Inferno travels to Hollywood to find Kate Winslet. One of the first fanfics I ever wrote.
Transformers/Beast Wars - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,049 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/16/2002