I don't actually write stories, I just read a BUNCH of them, and imagine different themes for stories. I'm too lazy to put up personal information (plus I'm kinda paranoid about creepers) so all I will say is that I am female, a WoW junkie, and I knit chainmail... that's it, nothing else for you.
I'm all for random pairings in stories, but things i hate:
1)When the lead female is tough through the majority of the story(or claims is tough) but then at at the first sign of trouble they suddenly can't do anything and are useless and needing to be saved.
2)Stories that make no sense. Say, the person claims they will never give in, but then all of a sudden they "find themselves giving in" despite what their mind says, when someone tries convincing them, or something like that.
3)Characters who act completely different than their character in the anime, especially if they are following the ideas of said anime.
That's enough of me ranting for now I guess... ON TO THE FUNNIES!!!!
Strangers stab you in the front.
20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:
1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down.
2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.
3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"
7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy."
8: Dont use any punctuation.
9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking.
10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face.
11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO."
12: Sing along at the opera.
13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day.
15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'.
16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom."
17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON."
18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose."
19: Tell your children (or younger siblings) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile!
People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.
When people say, ''Oh, you just want to have your cake and eat it too.''
When people say, ''It's always in the last place you look.''
When people say, while watching a movie, ''Did you see that?''
When people ask, ''Can I ask you a question?''
When something's ''new and improved'', which is it?
When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going.
Words of Wisdom
Don't kick a man when he's down unless you're certain he won't get up.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle too.
This is as bad as it can get...but don't bet on it.
There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.
By the time you can make the ends meet, they move the ends.
The facts, although interesting, are generally irrelevant.
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the world.
The other line always moves faster...until you get in it.
Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.
I've seen the truth and it makes no sense.
If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
If you smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
Teamwork...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.
The Romans did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
I love people sometimes...
On a blanket from Taiwan:
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
On the bottle of a (UK) flavored milk drink:
On a New Zealand insect spray:
In a US guide to setting up a new computer:
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrihoids:
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles:
On a Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of the box):
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's superman costume:
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
10 BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIRL
10. We can wear guy clothes, but if they wear ours they get funny looks.
9. At least one girl always survives in horror movies.
8. We can put cotton between our toes and paint our nails without feeling the least bit silly.
7. Our magazines have horoscopes.
6. Girls with guy first names like Taylor sound cool, but it doesn't work the other way around.
5. Our friends don't say "hi" by punching us in the arm.
4. Yes PMS sucks, but at least we have an excuse to lay around eating chocolate once a month.
3. Make-up covers any imperfections we may have.
2. If we flirt with a cop, we can get out of a speeding ticket.
1. Girl Talk... you know, the way we all just understand each other without having to explain a thing.
WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"
"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson
"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg
"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare
"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry
"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin
"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses
"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong
"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush
"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss
"In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa
"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld
"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon
A white man enters a bar and see's a black man sitting on a stool. The white man says, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK. When I grew up I was BLACK. When I'm sick I'm BLACK. When I go in the sun I'm BLACK. When I'm cold I'm BLACK. When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, when you're born you're PINK. When you grow up you're WHITE. When you're sick, you're GREEN. When you go in the sun you turn RED. When you're cold you turn BLUE. And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Sayings People Need For Every Day Life To Cheer Themselves Up
I did not slap you. I simply high fived your face.
You're a great friend but if the zombies chase us, I'm tripping you.
Don't drink water. The fishies have sex in it.
Someone told me it's illegal to kill someone because they piss you off...Crap.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me.
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics!
Be the fruit loop in the world of cheerios.
If you don't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
Achoo! Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
Don't worry what people think. They don't do it very often.
No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
If we really learned from our mistakes I'd be a fuckin' genius by now.
Of course I'm gonna drive! I'm too drunk to walk.
It's called investigating, not stalking.
Be who you want to be, not what others want to see.
A broken heart is like a broken mirror. It's better to leave it broke than hurt yourself trying to fix it.
Not only do I fall down stairs; I trip up them as well. Now that takes talent!
Hand over the chocolate and no one dies.
I didn't fall for you; you tripped me.
Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid.
Watch out, I haven't had my coffee yet.
Side by side or miles apart, friends are forever, close to your heart.
Don't follow in my footsteps; I run into walls.
If you don't have anything nice to say then you must be talking about yourself bitch.
Shut up voices..or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again.
OMG! OMG! OMG!...Wait, I forgot.
Normal people worry me.
If you want to taste the rainbow, eat some crayons.
Are you kidding? I didn't high-five your face! I slapped it bitch!
Moo, I'm a spider.
Never argue with an idiot, They'll drag you down to their level and beat your ass with experience.
Shh!...I'm hiding from the stupid people.
I'm gonna be an astronaut and travel to the sun. Don't worry I've got sunscreen.
Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Of course I'm out of my mind. It's dark and scary in there!
Eat right, exercise, die anyways.
I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something shiny.
If 2 wrongs don't make a right, try 3.
Whose idea was it for lisp to have an 's' in it?
I see regular people!
If you had a life you would stop talking about mine.
Real Americans don't need a hyphen.
You should just put a condom on your head because if you're going to act like a dick, you might as well dress like one!
I love walking in the rain because no one can tell I'm crying.
Why are there no fat stickmen?
Love me or hate me,(either way you're thinking of me)
Move on,it's just a chapter of your past. But don't close the book, just turn the page.
I'm only nice because to you because the doctor is making me take these happy pills.
PETA=People Eating Tasty Animals
Don't make me go all crazy white girl on you!
Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak. Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
Isn't it funny how by drawing a little symbol you can scare the shit out of people?
You call me bitch like you think it's true, I'm sorry slut, I'm just not you.
I'm trippin? Guess I should tie up my shoes.
It was once said 'A black man will be president when pigs fly' A hundred days in office, SWINE FLU!!
Here's to the future cuz I'm done with the past.
Hahahaha! I'm running with sciss-OW! My eye!
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
If he's dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go.
If you don't like my driving stay off the sidewalks.
People change, things go wrong; shit happens, but life goes on.
I don't miss you(I miss the person I thought you were)
True friends are never apart; maybe in distance, but not in heart.
Sometimes you make me so mad I want to throw you in front of a speeding car but I would probably kill myself trying to save you.
Hell was full so guess what? I'm back.
Welcome to Walmart. Get your shit and get the fuck out.
I'm not short I'm...screw it I'm short.
I'm a freak. What else is new?=)
When life give you lemons, squeeze it in someone's eye.
Please don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself.
I'm the person who gets hit by parked cars.
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.
Note to guys
When she walks away from you mad, follow her.
When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.
When she pushes you or hit's you, grab her and don't let go.
When she starts cussing at you, kiss her and tell her you love her.
When she's quiet, ask her what’s wrong.
When she ignores you, give her your attention.
When she pulls away, pull her back.
When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.
When you see her start crying, just hold her and don't say a word.
When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.
When she's scared, protect her.
When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.
When she steals your favorite hat, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.
When she teases you, tease her back and make her laugh.
When she doesn't answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.
When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up.
When she says that she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.
When she grabs at your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.
When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.
When she tells you a secret, keep it safe and untold.
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does.
When she misses you, she's hurting inside.
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.
When she says it’s over, she still wants you to be hers.
Can't eat beef...Mad Cow.
Can't eat chicken...Bird Flu.
Can't eat eggs...Salmonella.
Can't eat pork...Fear of trichinosis (or Toxins.)
Can't eat fish...Heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat.
Can't eat fruits or veggies...the herbicides/insecticides.
I believes that leaves CHOCOLATE!
Remember, 'Stressed' spelled backwards is 'Desserts'!!!
You shouldn’t let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself.
You shouldn’t follow in my footsteps; I have a habit of walking into walls.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
I’m out of bed, what more do you want?
If you could read my mind you wouldn’t be smiling.
Of course I'm out of my mind, it's dark and scary in there!
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privelege.
99.9 of people in America suffer from insanity. The rest of us enjoy every minute of it!
I used to see a shrink but I made him go crazy.
I do everything my rice crispies tell me to.
I hear voices in my head and they say they don't like you.
Reality bites!... and I have the teeth marks to prove it!
If I had to explain, you still wouldn't understand.
One by one the penguins steal my sanity.
I used to listen to the voices in my head, but I ran out of places to hide the bodies.
If I could get a firm grip on reality I'd choke it.
Reality is the leading cause of stress.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
Were you born stupid or did you work at it?
I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't Remember Shit)
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry...Then things get worse.
Where there's a will...I want to be on it.
Who said beer won't make you smarter? It made Bud wiser!
I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left
Fat people are harder to kidnap.
I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be.
Humpty Dumpty was Pushed.
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups.
I will never put off 'till tomorrow what I can forget about forever.
Kendo Class... Worship the stick... be one with the stick... hit people with the stick!
Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are okay, you’re it.
We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile.
If it's called tourist season, why can't we hunt them?
Why do we kill people who kill people just to show people killing people is wrong?
I say no to drugs but they just don't listen.
Keep Ireland clean, throw your trash in England!
I didn't spend 6.5 million years clawing my way to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!
Don't steal. The government hates competition.
Drugs support terrorism. Cigarette money supports the government. Cigarettes are drugs. The government supports terrorism?
I don't have an eating problem, I eat, I get fat, NO PROBLEM!
Is that your head or did your neck throw up?
If my dog had a face as ugly as yours, I would shave his butt and teach him to walk backwards!
Good girls are bad girls who never get caught.
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
P.M.S. Punish Men Severely
Men aren't pigs... pigs are gentle, cute creatures!
The more men I meet, the more I like my dog!
I'm the reason men are scared of women.
God made Oceans, God made Lakes, God made Men... Hey, we all make mistakes!!!
Guys are like slinkies - it's always fun to watch them fall down the stairs
If you miss your ex, reload and try again.
Don't follow me! I don't know where I'm going.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
To anyone that has been accused of being a vampire... your not alone out there... trust me when I say that.
And the copy and paste's!
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list.
Most people think that Mario rocks. If you're one of the few people who think that the Koopas could kick Mario's fat behind any day and that Peach deserves better, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you work better to music, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you :) overuse smilies (: like crazy :) copy and paste this into your profile. O.o
If you think aliens are really out there, and the only reason they haven't contacted us is because they think we're stupid (we are!), copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever said something really deep, and then people look at you like, "WHO ARE YOU?", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you aren't scared to wear more than one black garment of clothing at a time, copy and paste this into your profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If you're rebellious and proud of it, put this in your profile.
If you think that those kids should just give that Trix rabbit some Trix then copy this onto your profile.
If you think Goldilocks should be arrested for breaking and entering and the bears should have reported her, copy this into your profile.
If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those irritating mosquito's giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.
If you hate Cartoon Network for the cancellation of the Teen Titans, THEN PLEASE COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!
If you’re single then paste this in your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise-versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're addicted to anime, copy & paste this into your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random, or anything similar, post this in your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.
If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.
If you think it's weird and sad that many girls get up ridiculously early to do their hair and make-up and pick out the perfect outfit EVERY DAY and yet somehow have no time to eat breakfast, copy this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you ever saw a boy and a girl hugging and was tempted to scream, "NO! DON'T DO IT! SHE'LL FIND OUT ABOUT THE CURSE!"
If you believe PREPS TRAVEL IN PACKS, copy this into your profile.
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!
If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal put this in your profile!
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself . So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. (Way too many times '-.-)
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
Can you raed tihs? I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile.
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile. (BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.
THE WE HATE KARIN CLUB:If you hate Karin from NARUTO, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you LOVE Panic! At the Disco, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE!
98 PERCENT OF THE TEENAGE POPULATION DRINKS OR HAS BEEN AROUND ALCOHOL. PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU ARE SOBER AND PROUD OF IT.
PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU LIKE BAGELS.
If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile
.eliforp ruoy otni etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI
If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like the rain copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever seen a movie (or show)/played a game so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.
If you believe that over half of all you say/write/think doesn't come out right and is complete stupidity, copy and paste this into your profile.