EvanlynPotter
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Joined 06-13-08, id: 1603473, Profile Updated: 10-08-11
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter.

Hi everyone!

My name is Evanlyn. My last name is not 'Potter' (duh, why would I use my real last name on the INTERNET?). I have not chosen 'Potter' because I want to marry Harry Potter. He's an idiot. No offence to my fellow Harry Potter fans but he is. A stubborn, messy-haired, adorable idiot who can face Voldemort but not fangirls. And anyway, I love Harry and Ginny together. They are such a cute couple. I just chose 'Potter' as my last name here because it sounded nice and because I love the Harry Potter series.

My favourite book series is Harry Potter. J.K.Rowling is legend! My favourite pairings are Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Tonks and Neville/Luna. I hate Harry/Hermione (please, guys! They're practically siblings!), Hermione/Malfoy, Harry/Tonks (gimme a break! Tonks and Lupin were made for each other! And Tonks is, like, way too old), Harry/Snape (who's idea was this?! Eew!), Sirius/Remus (again, who came up with this?!) and Fred/George (Twincest! And don't Fred and George like Angelina and Alicia anyway?).

I must admit that I have a soft spot for the Twilight series, but I'm NEVER going to buy one of those plastic Edward figurines. Ever. I'm not that obsessed. I love all of the cannon pairings but I also sort of like Jacob/Leah, just a bit (no flames please!).

I LOVE Maximum Ride. For a book about kids with wings it's 'bloody brilliant'. You guys should give it a go. I love Fang and Max together and the lack of much of a relationship between the two was the only thing I disliked about the books.

I'm also pretty obsessed with quotes. I have one for every situation in life, so here are some good ones (note: I did not come up with these. If any of them offend you in any way please email me and I will remove them from my profile with my sincerest apologies)

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants

There's too much blood in my caffeine system.

Why are wise men and wise guys opposites?

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain

Jealousy is a wasted emotion. Which is why I recycle.

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Can I borrow your library card because I'd like to check you out!

Love is blind. I know, because you don't see me

Aren't you tired? You're walking for hours in my head!

Boys are like cars, before you know it, you're under one

Excuse me, but I think my karma just ran over your dogma

Your village called, their idiot is missing

If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?

Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?

Alcohol isn’t the answer, but it makes you forget the question.

You are a walking fishbowl, I see right through you.

My wife/husband is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she/he objects.

Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.

Sex on TV is bad. You may fall off.

EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

People who make hand-kisses are freaking lazy!

Don't be open-minded; your brains might fall out.

First law of science: don't spit into the wind.

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.

Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks.

Don't make me come down there. - God (on a billboard)

We're women. We don't say what we want, but we reserve the right to be pissed off if we don't get it.

Whoever said nothing's impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.

I am here to chew bubble gum and kick ass and I am all out of bubble gum...

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, does that mean they all have to?

"Before I criticize someone, I walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they get angry, they are a mile away and barefoot."

We need to talk. - God (on a billboard)

Never try to teach a pig to sing, it only wastes your time and annoys the pig.

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1823.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.

Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest.

Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself."

Make love not war. Condoms are cheaper than guns.

An answer to that nagging question... I let the dogs out!

When life hands you a lemon, break out the tequila and the salt!

If it is tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Smile and the world smiles with you. Fart and you stand alone.

I love work; it fascinates me; I can sit and watch it for hours.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it

What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?

Smile, it makes people wonder what you're up too...

Opinions are like assholes... Everyone's got one, and they stink.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

If marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have in-laws.

Divorce: from the Latin word meaning "to rip a man's heart out through his wallet.

Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop.

This isn't school! This is Hell with fluorescent lighting.

The funny thing about Common sense is that it's not very common.

If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Can I get your picture? I collect natural disasters

Me, breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity.

People who think they know everything are annoying to those of us who do.

The road to success is always under construction.

'Pessimist' is a word used by optimists to describe someone who sees the world for what it really is.

Life is like a pack of chewing-gum; I've yet to figure out why.

Don't like my attitude? Call 1800-KISS-MY-ASS

Out of my mind, back in five minutes.

If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk right now...

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Don’t steal, the government hates competition.

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in.

May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful!

Friends are like good bras: supportive, hard to find, and close to the heart.

A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.

It's better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.

If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?

I knew that something was wrong when my imaginary friends would not play with me.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel, just pray it's not a train.

I'm never wrong. Once, I thought I was, but I was mistaken.

God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt.

God created men first, because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece.

Mental anxiety, mental breakdowns, menstrual cramps, menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN?!

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but who wants to go out with a fish?

Everyone’s entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege.

I have always wondered why people bang their heads against brick walls... Then I met you...

Remember Jesus loves you... Everyone else thinks you're an idiot.

The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!..

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit

Smile... it's the second best thing to do with your lips

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them

I have PMS and a gun... now what were you saying?

Fighting for peace is like having sex for virginity

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

I ran into my ex the other day. Then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

They laugh because we're losers... We laugh because they just figured it out.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

You know you live in 2009 when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace or a cell phone.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6.) You just tried to defend yourself against the computer by saying something like 'The TV doesnt have buttons anymore!'

7.) You just realised that you were defending yourself against an innanimate object

8.) Your parents can't even survive school anymore. (it is a fact that many 8th graders know geography more than their parents)

9.) You've gotten in trouble at school for sending in a report ful of MSN typose, nd smily faces

10.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

11.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

12.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

13.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

14.) You just realized that there was no number 5 and that it skips straight from 4 to 6.

15.) And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

16.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you know you did.

CDC Medical Alert

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK).

If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!

This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes -

Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).

Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart

A Dads Poem

Her hair was up in a pony tail, her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home.

Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats. one by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out.

"She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so. He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him. I'm not standing here alone. "Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart"

With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress. And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right. And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud.

"I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far. You see he was a fireman and died just this past year when airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away."

And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day. And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise. A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out.

And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far.

‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget and remember to send it also to the person that sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry and that you've forgotten your friends.

Take the time...to live and love. Until eternity. May you be blessed.

I love these,

Cya's all l8er!

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An Aunt's Love by Emma Lipardi reviews
Harry comes home from school and Petunia is upset at the change in her nephew. Petunia decides to do what she should have been doing all along. Dumbledore had better stay away. Petunia Dursley is upset. Warnings on profile.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 71 - Words: 356,847 - Reviews: 14387 - Favs: 9,597 - Follows: 9,270 - Updated: 2/3/2014 - Published: 12/30/2004 - Harry P.
Second Chances by Mara Rome reviews
A mentor fic: When Snape discovers Harry is abused by the Dursley's, he is forced to teach Harry for the summer after the tri-wizard tournament. Will they eventually find the family they never had? No slash and Harry will never be Snape's biological son.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 46 - Words: 226,813 - Reviews: 2854 - Favs: 2,250 - Follows: 2,448 - Updated: 1/8/2012 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Severus S., Harry P.
A Place for Warriors by owlsaway reviews
Dumbledore locks Harry and Snape in the Room of Requirement. Harry's magic works, and Snape's doesn't. Will they kill each other? No slash.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 114,507 - Reviews: 1530 - Favs: 1,664 - Follows: 1,020 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 6/29/2007 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Jamie by deaudle reviews
Gabbie we need to talk." Harry was surprised,"I was not expecting you.” Gabbie whispered in Harry’s ear “You will love me you will see…” Harry hissed as he yanked open the door, standing before him was Ginny, his Ginny
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,975 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 8/3/2009 - Published: 5/29/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
Ginny Weasley and The Boy Who Lived by rumpelsnorcack reviews
Ginny's take on her journey from meeting Harry to becoming Mrs Harry Potter. First person memoir style. Harry and Ginny with suggestions of other canon couples.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 61 - Words: 142,289 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 365 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Just One of the Guys! by LovesReading2 reviews
What do you do when you like a guy but he only wants to be friends? What do you do when you find your feelings changing for someone that made your life even more complicated? you fall in love, but is it ever really that easy? Rated T to be sure. HP & GW
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 83,908 - Reviews: 625 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 4/22/2008 - Ginny W., Harry P.
Harry Potter and the Dream Come True by grand admiral chelli reviews
After a gross miscalculation by the Dark Lord, James Potter is alive and well again, and having the time of his life as he, Sirius, and Harry take Hogwarts by storm! Year 5 AU fic
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 49 - Words: 252,873 - Reviews: 2340 - Favs: 1,819 - Follows: 1,402 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 5/19/2003 - Harry P., James P.
He's No Prince Charming by acomplexgirlwithsimpletastes reviews
As Lily walks down the aisle, she contemplates why she's marrying the fool waiting for her at the end of her little walk...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 501 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/22/2008 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
James & Lily by Phoenix Ruisse reviews
When fate intervenes in the lives of both Lily and James, and gifts both with powers beyond those of mere witch and wizard, Lily must learn not only to work closely with James in the fight against Voldemort, but to trust him...and above all, to love him.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 25 - Words: 77,312 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/27/2005 - Published: 3/3/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Harry Central by Wishweaver reviews
In honor of Harry's birthday, a small tribute to the Harry Potter series, and the fandom it has inspired. Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,553 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 42 - Published: 7/31/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
A Slightly Warped Fairy Tale Involving Evil Ferret by charmingly-holly reviews
Random Oneshot. Add an s to ferret, wouldn't fit. A twist on the traditional fairy tale, and my version of the defeat of MoldieWarts. Which was really an accident involving a sconce on the wall and a decapitated dragon...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,377 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/3/2005 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
Recnac Transfaerso by Celebony reviews
In a rash act of self-sacrifice, Harry saves a dying Muggle by magically transfering the man's cancer to himself. Now, going through his fifth year with a terrible secret, he begins to realize just what he's given up. H/G, R/Hr. Warning: abuse
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 39 - Words: 195,216 - Reviews: 4261 - Favs: 4,474 - Follows: 757 - Updated: 1/11/2004 - Published: 6/25/2003 - Harry P. - Complete
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The Street Kid reviews
Harry is abused by the Dursleys and thrown out when he is 5. He joins a gang of kids, all in similar situations, magical and muggle. Hogwarts is in for a surprise. The Boy Who Lived is all grown up.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,988 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 12/15/2010 - Published: 1/25/2009
How To Breathe reviews
With the Tri-Wizard Tournament hanging over his head, his personal life in a disarray and the press watching his every move, Harry's is going to have to rethink everything he thought he knew. From how to love, to how to fight, to how to breathe.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,664 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 29 - Published: 12/8/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
Adults in Training reviews
Dumbledore has had another one of his sherbert-lemon-inspired ideas. A new training regime that will turn the Wizarding World upside-down. Got that Quick-Quotes Quill Rita? You'll be needing it.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,827 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/9/2009 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W.
The Potter Story reviews
The Potters, from the Marauder Era, to the Next Generation. Action, adventure, friendship, romance, mysteries, Voldemort, a few mortal enemies, and of course, redheads. Expect the unexpected.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,104 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/18/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009