zombie toast
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Joined 06-17-08, id: 1607311, Profile Updated: 01-23-10
Author has written 4 stories for Off*Beat, Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, and Naruto.

Geek. Self-proclaimed comedian. Extremely procrastinate-y. Goes through life one day at a time all the while keeping up with the latest in superhero news. Believes profanities are God's way of letting you be happy.

Also, some magic zombie toast worthy links for you~

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-- Be Merry & Review! :)

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A Lily in the Valley by Xazz reviews
It was a mad conspiracy that brought them to this point, one that put them in a place of power neither wanted. But snakes still slither, enemies multiply and if Malik isn't careful it may all crash down around their heads, an Order divided and a dangerous enemy allowed to destroy them.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 137,053 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 167 - Updated: 2/21 - Published: 1/3/2012 - Altaïr, Malik
And When the Earth Shall Claim Your Limbs by words without reviews
After an attack on their village leaves them orphaned and desperate, Malik and Kadar become Al Mualim's newest pupils. Altair, the master's star novice, is less than thrilled, but all Malik cares about is keeping his little brother safe... -Altair/Malik-
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 24 - Words: 216,803 - Reviews: 434 - Favs: 462 - Follows: 309 - Updated: 11/7/2012 - Published: 1/12/2011 - Malik, Altaïr, Kadar, Al Mualim - Complete
Melodies by MikroSouvlaki03 reviews
On which Malik's life changes completely upon meeting a certain someone with a huge love for music. -Alt/Mal-
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,060 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 10/11/2012 - Published: 7/22/2012 - Altaïr, Malik
Male Bonding by dwindling flame reviews
"Get ready for this." Aomine said in that usually smug tone of his. Kagami wanted nothing more than to punch him in the back of the head. Aomine turned down the volume on the computer before pushing play once more. - Kagami definitely was not ready for this. He shouldn't have agreed to watching such dirty things with his boyfriend. AoKagaAo
Kuroko no Basuke/黒子のバスケ - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,154 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 53 - Published: 10/10/2012 - Aomine D., Kagami T.
Zang Fu Theory by Lady Lotus Moon reviews
A battle with a fire oni creates a triangle of sexual tension between Hakkai, Gojyo and Sanzo.
Saiyuki - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 119,410 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 8/14/2012 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Hakkai C., G. Sanzo
Transference by Scuttlebutt Inc reviews
Modern AU. Zuko has to deal with settling in a new school after expulsion, dealing with an angry ex and an abusive father. Maybe his new found friendships and growing closeness with Sokka will help him make it through. Slash. Jetko, Zukka.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 39 - Words: 154,388 - Reviews: 691 - Favs: 662 - Follows: 515 - Updated: 7/20/2012 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Sokka, Zuko - Complete
Proof of Life by Emily Waters reviews
Seven years after the Second Wizarding War, Severus Snape is found alive. Not many believe his innocence. Disoriented and damaged, after seven years of torture at the hands of Death Eaters, Severus finds refuge in Harry Potter's home.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 54 - Words: 145,706 - Reviews: 1658 - Favs: 930 - Follows: 1,199 - Updated: 1/24/2012 - Published: 11/8/2008 - Severus S., Harry P.
Altered Flight Pattern by Xazz reviews
Malik is Ezio's best friend and has had a crush on him since he can remember, though he never reciprocates. It sort of all goes out the window when Ezio's family from Syria visits and Malik meets Altair and all bets are off. -complete-
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 63,878 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 1/5/2012 - Published: 3/1/2011 - Malik, Altaïr - Complete
Discursus by tanyart reviews
Teamwork and flirting at its finest. Only not really, no. Altair/Malik
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,775 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/1/2011 - Malik, Altaïr - Complete
Tomorrow Was Not Dull by tanyart reviews
A younger Altair and Malik are thrown into the near future.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,130 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/27/2011 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
The Lying Game by Akavet reviews
Altair x Malik. Altair has to meet face to face with the man whose brother he indirectly killed and just when he feels the pangs of guilt, Malik goes too far with the insults... SMUTTY but with PLOT! One-shot.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,614 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
Intoxication by Tristana reviews
or not... Malik sends Altair out to buy incense, being clear as to what he wants. What if Altair comes back with the wrong one? Fun times! AltMal, written for kink meme. Rated M for a reason.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,038 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/16/2011 - Altaïr, Malik - Complete
Of Insanity and Ice Cream by Kyla45 reviews
Shaun is there for Desmond, even if he'd never planned to be. Oneshot. DesShaun with sprinkles of LeoEz & AltMal
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,057 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 89 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Shaun H., Desmond M. - Complete
Evolution'ry Process by leaky.oven reviews
"It was like I woke up last week and Old Shaun was back." - "So the first thing you do when faced with a beehive is step on it?" SxD, 1stPOV, SLASH
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,949 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 5/11/2011 - Published: 3/1/2011 - [Shaun H., Desmond M.] - Complete
It Must Be You by Mirror and Image reviews
Complete - After Al Mualim's death, Malik struggles to run the Order.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,658 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Malik, Altaïr - Complete
I'm a Gambling Man by FroggyFran reviews
He never learned what a valuable hand was, but he sure knew how to put on a poker face. Nick/Ellis death m/m lemon Nick PoV
Left 4 Dead - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,998 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/22/2010 - Nick, Ellis - Complete
Things You Know by Lex Sterling reviews
Although rescued from the Infection ravaging outside, the mind is often unwilling to let go of past nightmares. Stuck in between the horrors of yesterday and the unknown of tomorrow, Nick finds himself lost in his own gripping insanity.
Left 4 Dead - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 78,723 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 9/8/2010 - Published: 7/5/2010 - Ellis, Nick - Complete
Primary Care by M. Monster reviews
Shaun is not Desmond's primary care for aches, pains, or broken bones. Lucy disagrees, apparently. SNARK, DENIAL, MASTURBATION, LANGUAGE, SEX, ETC. Desmond/Shaun edited
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,581 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 16 - Published: 5/16/2010 - Desmond M., Shaun H. - Complete
Lethe by Chavvah reviews
Voted Community's Choice at ZeldaLegends. Ganondorf's hand is forced: he must protect Link. But a sinister force is at work and Ganon cannot drive it away for long... CH. 10 UP!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 119,084 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 4/22/2010 - Published: 10/7/2005 - Ganondorf, Link
Off The Beaten Path by Spiritfoxgirl reviews
When Desmond and Shaun are on a quick errand, Shaun pokes fun at Desmond's masculinity. Desmond gets angry. Warning: Sado/Masochism, spanking, rimming, anal, dirty language, Male/Male
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,050 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Desmond M., Shaun H.
Big City, Small World by Miyakai Valentine reviews
Alternate Reality. Renji is a dishwasher in an upscale restaurant owned by Urahara. However, washing dishes only pays so good, and Renji's behind on his rent. He's only got one week to pay it. Summary sucks. Read it.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,414 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Renji A., Uryuu I.
Reversal by CrAcKeRs oN CrAcK reviews
GanondorfXLink with Link being seme...nuff said.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,570 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/24/2010 - Link, Ganondorf - Complete
Gamblin' Man by SixpenceVI reviews
Nick had always been a gambling man. Even though half of Vegas has gone to hell, some habits are just too hard to break. One shot, NickxEllis.
Left 4 Dead - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,937 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/8/2009 - Ellis, Nick - Complete
Shadows of Doubt A DarkWilson House Redux by DreamsofSpike reviews
House/Wilson, dark!fic, an alternate 'verse in which House and Wilson are a couple from the beginning -- but Wilson is not all that he seems. As their relationship gradually gets darker and more abusive, can House somehow find a way to get out?
House, M.D. - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 131,019 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 11/15/2009 - Published: 12/16/2008 - J. Wilson, G. House
Signs of Flirting by Teddy.syn reviews
Jounouchi's being subtle and Kaiba doesn't get it. Kaiba/Jou, shounen-ai theme. Complete. A companion piece is up but on hiatus.
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,727 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 5/19/2009 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Seto K., K. Jounouchi - Complete
Stalled Consequence by egg10rru reviews
After Colin is out of town for a week, close proximity to Tory during catch-up tutoring is all it takes to turn up the heat, and the library bathroom suffers the consequences. Yaoi oneshot, role reversal ColinxTory just for fun, rated M for graphic lemo
Off*Beat - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,100 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/17/2009 - Complete
jealous of your cigarette by incandescens reviews
Ginji, in some AU noir universe.
Get Backers - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 229 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Ginji, Ban - Complete
Safe Asylum by carnifax reviews
Chase spoke, his voice still soft. "If you want me to leave, House... just tell me to leave..." House/Chase
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 15,594 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 7/11/2008 - Published: 5/18/2008 - G. House, R. Chase
The Only Intelligent Decision by 1957 reviews
In which everyone pummels Gokudera verbally. YamaGoku.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,268 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Disrupted Monotony by Mujaki no Tsubasa reviews
Byakuran pays Spanner a visit Byakuran/Shouichi, implied Spanner/Shouichi. Shounen-ai
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,194 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Complete
Fallacy by transcendently reviews
Ryohei is a freaking genius. RyoheiGokudera
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 445 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 45 - Published: 3/8/2008 - H. Gokudera, Ryōhei S. - Complete
What's A Massage Between Friends? by carnifax reviews
A problem with House's hip leads to a rather intimate solution... [HouseWilson]
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,165 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/25/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Lupercalia by Sanjuno Shori Niko reviews
First in Holidays Series. Prequel to Oeastre. Ban gets a mysterious package in the mail, but refuses to tell anyone what it's for until Valentine's Day. Poor Ginji is going mad with curiosity. GinjiBan first time YAOI.
Get Backers - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,984 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/29/2007 - Ginji, Ban - Complete
needful by Mostly Harmless III reviews
A twisted serial killer chooses a new play toy: the detective in charge of his case. Detective Nicholas D. Wolfwood hunts the killer, but his own dark past surfaces to haunt him. SLASH, AU, adult themes, sexual content, strong language.
Trigun - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 278,777 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 8/25/2007 - Published: 4/26/2005 - Complete
Priests Never Kiss And Tell by peanutbutter and bananas reviews
Genjyo Sanzo, the cynical, egotistical, charismatic, anti – social, ill – tempered, pistol – whippin', fan – wieldin' excuse for a Priest was a hypocrite. Sanzo x Hakkai Shounen Ai.
Saiyuki - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,302 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/23/2007 - G. Sanzo, Hakkai C. - Complete
Good Enough by Rosalyn Angel reviews
[AU, AxelRiku] Sometimes love doesn't need to be completely overwhelming. Sometimes, it just needs to be good enough. [complete]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 47,008 - Reviews: 484 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 12/23/2006 - Published: 4/15/2006 - Riku, Axel - Complete
The fifth rule by Is0lde reviews
SLASH. The Narrator rides the bus in the middle of the night, and guess who gets on? AU fic in which Tyler is a real person.
Fight Club - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,133 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/28/2005
Attachment is Pain by marsdemon reviews
Coming home late from work Kaiba is knocked out in a dark alley and taken 'prisoner'. Blackmail leads to some interesting events that include sex, chains, money and crime. So when Kaiba is free, why does he want to go back there? Yaoi, semilime, JouKaiba
Yu-Gi-Oh - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,437 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/11/2003 - K. Jounouchi, Seto K. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Most Hated Love reviews
He’s new to the overwhelming feeling of longing for his best friend. SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 368 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 9/22/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
This Is The Dream of Us reviews
Who was to know that he would fall for his best friend? 8059
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 559 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/15/2008 - T. Yamamoto, H. Gokudera - Complete
Admiration reviews
Gokudera denies any and all accusations that he was, in fact, smiling. 8059 if you squint.
Katekyo Hitman Reborn! - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 312 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 13 - Published: 8/21/2008 - T. Yamamoto, H. Gokudera - Complete
Tissue Box Graphics reviews
In which Tory receives kissing lessons from Paul in order to impress Colin. Paul/Tory implied Tory/Colin ONE-SHOT
Off*Beat - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,543 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Complete