Edward Heartless
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Joined 06-20-08, id: 1611077, Profile Updated: 08-29-08
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.


Iruka had streaked rules, so he explained them to sakura.

“Sakura, just so you know I have rules you need to follow. They are:

1. No talking ‘naruto’

2. No passing messages ‘naruto’

3. And no and I mean no acting up ‘naruto’ ”

“So I made a few mistakes. Big deal” naruto mumbled.

8 letters spell 'I love you' 8 letters also spell 'bull shit' quote done...

“Nice wand godmother…”

“Oh! You like it??”

“Well yes… I do… but can it do anything…”

“No shit Sherlock! That’s why I’m a fairy!! Hello is that brain in there??”

I grumbled, “So are we going to do this or not.”

“No we aren’t going to do that.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Fine, we’ll transform.”... tis quote is done!

Her passed out body… was about to crash to the hard cold ground then a hand grabbed her limp shoulder opposite to where the man was positioned… Sasori had caught her just in the nick of time…

Still in an awkward position… he got hold of Sakura’s jawline and took a deep breath and lowered his head to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation… well… ‘Sasori-style’…

“DREAM ON ASSHOLE!!” Sakura retorted as she escaped her unconscious state… pressing her hand hardly against Sasori’s face

“what?! I was just trying to revive you”


“then do you want me to do?! Caress your breasts first before I try to give in air just like all those hunky male lifeguards?!”

“ARGHHH!!”... end quote

stupid Sasuke’ If Sai was him, he’d actually confess right there and then (with grace that is, both Sai and Sasuke are… shy) I mean… he got Sakura at the palm of his hands and what if she leaves…? It’s bad enough that even now he won’t confess to her… what’s worse is if he don’t make it quick, Sai might—

“hey, say… wanna have lunch?” Sai suddenly asked

not wanting to ruin their bonds, Sai thought if he can’t get his first choice… might as well get the second.

“oh, yeah sure”... end quote


"Well?" Beardwoman asked, in her annoying, demanding way.

"The reproduction system isn't going to explain itself" she said.

"Um...We would like to present our essay in the form of a skit. Thank you." Sakura said. I shot her a I'm-confused-look, as did Beardwoman.

"What do I do?" I whispered.

"I'm the doctor and I'm explaining to you and Gaara that you're preggo" She whispered back.

"Spagetti sauce?"

"You are having Gaara's kid." She said slowly, as if I were some kind of retard.

"Fuck no! Why do I have to be the woman?" I nearly shouted, glaring at her.

"Because. You said you'd be a prettier woman than I am." She reminded me. She has a point.

Beardwoman ahem-ed "Are we starting?" She said.

"Yeah" I said, still glaring at Sakura.

"Good News Ms. Hyuuga! You're having a baby!" Sakura said with fake enthusiasm.

"That's impossible! She hasn't eaten any babies!" Gaara exclaimed, trying to make this as hard for me as possible. When I become president he will be forced to watch that Nick Lachey What's Left Of Me music video for the remainder of his life.

"Mr. Gaara? Are you the father of this child?" She asked but was smirking at me.

"Yes. I think." He said, smirking at me also. Grrr.

"Then why haven't you been filled out about the birds and the bees?" She asked in a teacherly voice, "You see, Mr. Gaara, when a man and a woman," she glanced at me, "Love each other very much, physically outside of a bar, they preform a special 'hug'. That's how babies are made." Sakura grinned. She is the devil.

"You're a terrible hugger, no wonder I got pregnant." I scoffed at Gaara in a deadpan voice before turning to Sakura.

"Dr. Haruno? I'm not really all that comfortable around male," Idrew the word out, "doctors. I thought I should let you know I'm not coming back to you. No offence, I just feel less comfortable around doctors that are male." I plastered a hideously fake smile on my face and turned to her. She gritted her teeth and glared at me.

"Ms. Hyuuga, I think that you'd probably be a lot more comfortable with me if I didn't opperate on you for gender correction surgery." She smiled icily.

Oh no she di-in't. Imma flip my bitch switch and kill her ass!

"Nejina! You should of told me that before we preformed the 'hug'!" Gaara smirked again. What a fuckass. Yes, I said fuckass. He didn't take his meds again and that led to him ganging up with Sakura on sexy-ole-me. And for fucks sake, that's not fair. But I can play that game too.

"It wasn't a consensual hug. He raped me!" I said in a all knowing tone, dramatically covering my face with my silky, perfect, hair. Beardwoman gasped.

"He grabbed me and preformed the hug! I told him to stop. But he wouldn't listen. So I told him use protection! Use protection! But the condom didn't fit! He was too small! Now, I'm carrying his third child!" I fake sobbed. Who says watching two hours of Maury is a waste of time?

Gaara sent me a death glare that would have killed me and all the kids in Cheaper By The Dozen. Yes, even the fag who looked like the kid from Jerry Maguire. Not a fan of that movie either.

Sakura shot me a not as deadly death glare and marched right over.

"Ms. Hyuuga what's your problem?"

"I have a demon fetus living in my stomach, sucking the life out of me" I informed her.

The bell rang.

No one in the class moved.

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Temptation by lovematters reviews
Life couldn't get any worse for Sakura. First, she was manipulated into going to a ‘formal function’, then, she was forced into one of the most ridiculous dresses she had ever seen, and then, HE shows up, wanting to tango. Oh yes, Sakura had it bad.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,031 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 3/24/2009 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Sakura H., Sasori
You Made Me Wait by Mersea reviews
An apathetic avenger. An emotionless Root member. And a...puppet. One sets about kidnapping her for his own plans, one ordered to guard her, and another out to kill her. Sasori x Sakura, side SasuxSaku, SaixSaku /Extended Hiatus/
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,194 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 7/6/2008 - Published: 6/23/2008 - Sasori, Sakura H.
Princess of Darkness by June Heartless reviews
The Vampire family Heartless has taken Sakura as their doll. Her blood is so tasty vampires have almost sucked her dry. Her family and friends have been killed for her blood. she meets a vampire that cares and now her best friend is now a vampire...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,356 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/26/2008 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Complete
Funeral March of the Marionettes by VesperChan reviews
She made the mistake of becoming his obsession. With eyes lit with fire she soon became his dark desire. Sakura Sasori one month word challenge
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 33,860 - Reviews: 572 - Favs: 368 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 3/31/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Sakura H., Sasori - Complete
Nexus by p3pp3rmint reviews
Sasori leaves her-Sakura-, his everything, behind. He leaves it all to the hands of Sasuke, even though he knew well of the consequences. All because he thought that it would be the best for both him and Sakura. He thought wrong.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,674 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 11/4/2007 - Sasori, Sakura H.
Staring by iamRAWRkaythanks reviews
He wasn’t replying, just staring at her. 'WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STARING AT ME? STOP STARING AT ME' GaaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 384 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 9 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Gaara, Sakura H. - Complete
A Sakura Nocturne by envy.and.pride reviews
SasoSaku AU. Sakura's whole way of life is challenged as a handsome stranger turns up and demands impossibilities of her. Rated T for language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,426 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/14/2007 - Sasori, Sakura H. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Wasting my time reviews
Sasori and Sakura had been a huge famous couple throughout his kingdom but then he dumps her evilly so she wont get hurt. Now she's back and scarred from all that her boyfriend has done. Can he save her or will he just lose her again? Surprise end and mid
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,809 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/23/2008 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Sakura H., Sasori
Don't you remember me? reviews
Gaara is so excited after years he's finally found Sakura but wait... She has a boyfriend! Even worse she doesn't remember him at all! "Minor set back... I will make her remember me... no matter what
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 7,315 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/23/2008 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Gaara, Sakura H.