Author has written 7 stories for Twilight, NCIS, and NCIS: Los Angeles.
Hi! Well, I'm obviously Shawanda. No, that is not my actual name. It does have a story behind it though! It goes a little something like this...
Friend 1: GUYS!! I finally talked to that guy in study hall that I like!
Me and Friend 2: That's great! Yay! What's his name again?
Friend 1: ... I don't know...
Me and Friend 2: You don't know?? How can you not know??
Friend 1: Well it's some sort of ghetto name!
Me and Friend 2: That's racist.
Friend 1: Whatever. I'll find out.
Friend 1: GUYS! I found out his name and I hugged him! His name's Joey!
Me and Friend 2: Joey? Joey isn't a ghetto name what are you talking about?
Some Random Kid walking by: Yeah a ghetto name is like... Shawanda or something...
Friend 1 and Friend 2 (turning to me): YOU!! You are now Shawanda!
So, yeah. I'm Shawanda. And, yes, that is a fairly typical conversation between me and my friends. I'm also friends with Nickel the Pickle Who Likes to be Tickled While Eating a Pickle, Bronwen the Russian Strange, Tom Scones, Bean Bowl, Birdy/Dodo Bird/Hawk/Flacon, and The Fooftastic Foof-Chinchila. So mine actually isn't that odd.
OOH!! I have another funny story! So my friend and I get very bored in Biology. Our teacher has ADD and is very easy to get off topic, so we end up with a LOT of illegitimate free time. Here are a few of our actual conversations.
Me(as my friend drew a smiley face on my arm): Dang it! It took me a week to get that last one off!!
My Friend(looking directly at me with a totally straight face): You can have a bruise while you're on vacation.
My Friend: Wait, what?
Yeah. So we still don't know where that came from. And here's another! (oh, and as a side-note, I have absolutely nothing against homosexual people or native americans, and niether does my friend. And yes, we do know that the plural of deer is deer. )
My Friend(working on a bio lab): OOH! I wanna choose the next animal! It's gonna be a deer!
Me: No, hun, this one has to be a carnivore. I'm pretty sure deer aren't carnivores.
My Friend: Well, they could be! If they were desperate! I mean think about it. So imagine there's this deer and he's all alone in this place with no berries or leaves with his husband-
Me: HIS husband??
My Friend: ... well you know what? They're gay deers, alright?! There's nothing wrong with that!! So anyway, there's no berries or leaves. What are they going to eat??
My Friend: NO! They're in a rock cave okay? There's no grass.
Me: Wow, they must get pretty bored.
My Friend: They draw dirty pictures on the walls. (gasp) That's where the cave drawings came from!! It wasn't Native Americans!! It was the bored gay deers!!
So needless to say, we didn't get much work done that day...
Harry Potter, The Bible, Twilight, Wake, Fade, Gone, Vampire Academy, Blue Bloods, anything by Tamora Pierce, stuff by Sarah Dessen, Sold, An Abundance of Katherines, Anahita's Woven Riddle, Willow, The Fever Series, House of Night Series, North of Beautiful, Mortal Instruments series, Infernal Devices series... I know there are more, I just can't think of them...
NCIS(DC and LA), Corner Gas, Bones, Covert Affairs, Pretty Little Liars, Rizzoli and Isles, Once Upon A Time, The Lying Game, Hawaii Five-O, Supernatural, Unforgettable, Firefly
Pirates of the Caribbean, Phantom of the Opera, Passengers, Blood and Chocolate, the Harry Potter movies, Step Up (all of them), Pride and Prejudice (the more recent one)The Time Travelers Wife... again, more that I can't think of...
It's always darkest right before lightening scares the crap out of you.
Bring a compass. It's akward when you have to eat your friends.
Determination. The feeling you get right before you try something incredibly stupid.
Confidence. What you feel right before you fully understand the situation.
There is nothing to fear except fear itself. And bears.
Insanity takes a toll. Please have exact change.
Why golf? Because you can't play tennis with a beer.
My mind is like a steel trap, rusty and illegal in 37 states.
Its darkest right before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, do it then.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Dear God. Thank you for my baby brother, but I prayed for a puppy.
Today I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said, "I drive like Edward Cullen." They rear ended the car in front of them. I laughed.
Nature is not always perfect. I am a perfect example of this.
A woman got a letter from Wall-Mart one day informing her that her husband was banned from all their stores. These were their reasons.
June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms off the shelves and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at five-minute intervals.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official sounding voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
August 4: Went up to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
August 14: Moved a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign to a carpeted area.
August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the other shoppers he'd invite them in if they brought pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screaming, "WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!?"
September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked a clerk where the antidepressants were.
October 3: Darted suspiciously around the store while loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme song.
October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled, "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
October 21: When an announcement came on the loudspeaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed, "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while, and then yelled loudly, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
And this is why you should never take men shopping against their will.
Okay, so this is about my updating. I will not put a story longer than one chapter on until I have completely finished it or I am almost done and I know where I'm going with it. I know how annoying it is to be reading a really good story and have it just stop or have to wait forever for the next chapter. You start to lose interest. So I will always put complete stories on, probably one chapter a day, maybe more if I'm feeling generous. And ya'll should also know that the email that this account is set up in doesn't actually exist anymore, therefore, I cannot reply to reviews or PM. So if you would like to review (HINT HINT) just know that I'm very grateful for any comments :)
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