Poll: Which is the most deadly? See ranty story below. Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter.Okay, so we live in the United States, right? In this little state that borders with Canada, got it? And we're riding along at night and all of a sudden the penguin calls out, "I JUST SAW A TOUCAN!" Now, Ice cream and I(lollipop) are thinking 'oh god, she's completely delusional' and she is now going on about 'No, I really saw it! Just like there are tropical monkeys living here!' And we're like 'Ya... she's lost it.'
On a Myer hairdryer:
On a bag of
On a bar of Palmolive soap:
On some frozen dinners:
On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
On most brands of Christmas lights:
On a Japanese food processor:
On packet of Nobbys'
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions:
On artificial bacon:"Real artificial bacon bits"
Hello there. We are here today to sell you... well, no, thats a lie, we aren't here to sell you anything. We have come to warn you. It shall be the end of the universe soon, and we thought we'd tell you why.
This is very, very important. If you think this is a joke, go die, oh wait, WE'RE ALL GOING TO!
Now to the important matter...
They're taking over. Did you know they kill? They're killer bees! KILLER! AS IN DEATH, PEOPLE!
Our friend, who speaks fluent bumble bee, has heard it all. They're planning. They want death. They want to kill. They want bloodshed, gruesome horrid man slaughter!!
Think about it, they sit there, flitting their way from flower to flower. So innocent. We're so naive to have trusted them this long.
Lolly, are you okay?
NO!! THEY KILL PEOPLE!! THEY'RE GOING TO END THE WORLD!!
Uhm, they're just little bumble bees. And who the hell do you know who speaks bumble bee?
You don't even know an ursela!
Shows what you know!!
Yeah, okay lolly...
Haven't you heard of them though?? KILLER bees. Same with whales! KILLER whales! They're all out to get us!!
People are just out to make you paranoid, aren't they gabby.
No, its the killer bees... they're KILLERS. They mean DEATH. They want to rip us to shreds and inject us with their lethal poisons! THEY KILL PEOPLE EVERYDAY!
LOLLY THEY'RE HALF AN INCH BIG!
They're at least an inch! And small and deadly! They're out to get us, I tell you!!
Okay, so your friend, Ursela, YOU DON'T KNOW ANYBODY NAMED URSELA!
You also don't know that I'm a spy. Whoops! Now I have to kill you, oh wait, I'll let the killer bees do it for me!!
You're delusional. What did you eat today? Did you have coffee?
Psh. Psh. No. No, me? coffee? Never. Psh. Coffee. Me. No. What is this coffee you speak of? No, not me, no coffee, not ever. Nope, no way, no how. No coffee.
Lolly, who gave you coffee?
What? What coffee? I didn't have coffee? I TELL YOU I DIDN'T HAVE ANY DAMN COFFEE!! STOP QUESTIONING ME! YOU! YOU'RE IN LEAGUE WITH THE BUMBLE BEES!! I KNEW IT! GET AWAY FROM ME!! AHHH!! THE APOCOLYPSE! AHHH! IT BURNS!! AHHHH!
Runs away screaming
Okay, she just ran down the stairs and out the door so... Now normally I'm the crazy one but uhm, yeah.. read and enjoy..?