Author has written 6 stories for Naruto, and Harry Potter.
Just call me Jit, yeah?
I'm a bisexual/un-interested-in-sex girl who currently has a girlfriend who lives in Australia.
So Far Away
With his dying breath Sasuke called out for the blue-eyed blond who'd stolen his heart. Only said blond arrived too late. Uchiha Sasuke - the 'last' of the Uchiha line - was dead. Or so everyone thought until four months later Naruto Uzumaki gave birth to Sasuke's son. It seemed that no one had counted on the fact that Kyuubi had indeed turned out to be a female fox. And so Naruto takes on the life of a single parent with the help of his friends. Only little Suke Uzumaki proves to be as much of a handful as Naruto was. Then not long before Suke's first birthday a drastic, life changing, event happens. Uzumaki Naruto dies on a mission. The scene identical on that of Sasuke's death. The Akatsuki's survivors were back. And their main target was Konohagakure's last Uchiha.
Contains bad language, yaoi, MPreg and death.
Twice As Nice
What if Harry James Potter was actually a twin? In this story you will see how Harrison and his sickly twin Harley manage to survive the Dursley's and their time at Hogwarts. Oh, but don't worry. It's not all drama. These two boys do get some love in their lives.
Contains: Bad language, yaoi, MPreg, child abuse, violence and so on.
Was originally on AFF
CNOC: Prologue, one/ten(?)
it's better this way
sasuke believes it's all over. suigetsu isn't happy about this.
contains: suicidal sasuke. shounen ai.
Albus Severus loved him. But Scorpius didn't know what he felt. Harry blamed Draco. And Draco takes the blame.
contains: character death, mentions of yaoi and abuse.
If you like the sound of any of these please message me and I'll start typing them up!
Yes I know I have two fic's called Cover Up! It's because I was inspired by the same thing to write each of them. Though one is a Naruto threesome fic and the other's a Harry Potter Maraurder's era fic!
Snow White Skin Speckled With Angry Red Scars
His pale body arched up to the older mans touch. Sasuke couldn't get enough of him. The other drove him so crazy even Naruto and Kiba had nothing on him. He wanted so much to spend forever with the silver teen upon him. But maybe forever was a bit far.
Contains yaoi, shotacon, MPreg, threesomes, drugs, self-harming, abuse and erotica!
Pairing(s): HidanxSasuke, ItachixKiba, KibaxNaruto.
Pray For Me
Sasuke never asked for it. He never asked for his life to end up like this. But for some reason no one could keep their hands off him. It seemed to Sasuke that his pain would never end when the love of his life broke up with him. That was until he met a certain one of his brother's friends. To Sasuke, this was the boy of his dreams.
Contains yaoi, rape, cussing, incest, abuse, self-harm and emotional issues
Pairing(s): HidanxSasuke, ItachixSasuke, NarutoxSasuke, KakashixSasuke, OrochimaruxSasuke, KakashixItachi.
"Put the mask back on, Put the mask back on, Dont take it off 'til every body's gone!" Rang out the ravens voice as he held the beaten blond in his ams his eyes fixed on the gun in Kakashi's hand. The silver haired man trembled before covering his face with his collar. Pocketing the gun he dashed over to the two boys before the three of them departed in a dash. This was going to end bad.
Contains sex, yaoi, violence, sex, shounen ai, murder, rape, sex and generally angsty things as well as nudity.
Pairing(s): KakashixNarutoxSasuke(SasukexNaruto), SaixNaruto, ItachixSasuke, MadaraxKakashi.
"Wait, you're not gay are you Hiro??" The bubble-gum haired boy questioned as he looked up at this friend. Hiroshi groaned softly. "Baka, I juat tongue fucked your mouth. What do you think?" He tutted. A dark blush spread across Shuichi's cheeks as he flailed. "DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!"
Contains shounen ai, perverted humour, kissing.
It's only a one shot XD
Just the feel of the other sent him crazy. But they couldn't let there secret out. He made Sirius promise not to tell a soul. He knew the other would forget about him one day. He knew he'd be left behind. "Moony, don't hide yourself from me." whispered Sirius' velvety voice in his ear as the darker boy notice his boyfriends sullen mood.
Contains... well my usual yaoi, angst and such...
If there ever was a couple louder than the pair the Fifth was surveying right now then she'd be amazed. Never in all her years in Konohagakure had she came across such a loud duo. And now she was also faced with medical miricles. "NARUTO! KIBA! Stop arguing and please tell me how you both managed to impregnate each other?!" She snapped to the bickering couple. Inuzuka Kiba and Uzumaki Naruto stopped bickering and grinned. Then they both replied simultaniously. "He's a horny bastard!" Making the totally bewildered Hyuuga heiress faint only to be caught by Sakura.
I love this fanfic XD double Mpreg XD
Contains yaoi, smut, MPreg, bad language.
Pairing(s): KibaxNaruto/NarutoxKiba, ShinoxHinata, InoxSakura, ItachixSasuke, JiriyaxOrochimaru
Sasuke's less than perfect life has just got worse. Itachi has sent him to rehab due to his slight problems only Sasuke doesn't think he can make it. When he gets there it seems like nothings changed really. And then he met Naruto. The cheerful teen who'd never uttered a single word to another living person. Can Naruto and Sasuke help turn each others lives around? Or will Itachi, Sai and Gaara get in the way?
Contains Yaoi, Smut, Cussing, Nudity, Incest, Insanity and possibly other things. Check back.
Pairing(s): ItachixSasuke, SasukexNaruto/NarutoxSasuke, GaaraxNaruto, SaixNaruto, SaixSasuke.
Two Boys. One Fate.
It all started one warm summers day back in 1918. The two boys met and their lives were changed. Uchiha Sasuke - the youngest son of a Government offical was a school boy at the local secondary school that had recently been built. Uzumaki Naruto was a chimmney sweep. Only Sasuke was no ordinary boy. Mere weeks after they met Sasuke predicted that Naruto would die on December 13th 1919. at first the blond didn't believe him but then the boys were dragged into an adventure that neither could have prepaired themselve's for.
Contains yaoi, death, child-abuse, kidnapping and violence.
Pairing(s): SasukexNaruto/NarutoxSasuke, OrochimaruxSasuke, OrochimaruxNaruto.
It's Not That I Don't Like You
Lelouch has found himself in a bit of a pickle. With his secret identity as Zero and Suzaku being a Britanian Soilder the two are subconsciously spending more and more time together. It was about this time that he began to notice how he really felt about Suzaku. To him the brunette was more than a friend. But how could he ever say that? What made it worse was he nearly ruined everything. It'd started out like a normal day. only what wasn't normal was Suzaku sneaking up on him like the stronger boy had. To say Lelouch had over-reacted was an understatement. Much to his own embarrassment he'd actually screamed like a girl Suzaku's tackle sending them both tumbling to the ground. Things might've been alright if it was for the fact that part way through his scream he felt Suzaku's warm lips upon his own. Oh he was well and totally screwed now.
Contains yaoi and cussing.
Copy and Paste stuffs:
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have your own personal bubble space, copy and paste this into your profile
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.
There is nothing wrong with any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender. If you believe in tolerance towards all people, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you think believe in werewolf rights copy and paste this onto your profile. WOOOO! GO REMUS!
Quotes and other random stuff:
Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to. – Anon.
'When life hand you lemons, squirt them in people's eyes!'
"Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do insult them, you are a mile away and you have their shoes." – Anon.
"Friends are God’s apology for relatives.” – Anon.
Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it.
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest. A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps themselves.
Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate? ~ Anon.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. ~ Anon.
Rules are like paperclips. Meant to hold things together, fun to bend, and easy to twist out of shape.
A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.
A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will hand you a Kleenex and ask you “Who do I have to kill?”
A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.
A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.
A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
A good friend convinces you not to jump off the cliff. A best friend hugs you "Goodbye, I'll miss you. Can I have your I-pod?"
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree.
Boys are like slinkies; practically useless, and yet it is SO amusing to watch them fall down the stairs!!
Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up.
Excuse me. Have you seen my mind? I think I've lost it...
My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.
He: Why do you wear a Bra if you've got nothing to fill it in?
She: You wear pants, don't you?
He: Is this seat empty?
She: Yes, and so is mine if you sit down.
He: Can I invite you a drink?
She: I'd rather you gave me the money.
He: Can I have this song?
She: All yours.
He: Your body is like a temple.
She: Sorry, no services today.
He: Where were you all my life?
She: Hiding from you.
He: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
She: Nothing. I can't laugh and talk at the same time.
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them nearly as much.
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
Things that make you feel good:
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19 Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care about.
39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
To all those who think Homophobia is wrong and want to fight for a better future for our gay and lesbian friends, please repost this into your profile:
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART (taken from xXKuroTenshi666Xx)
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme song.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things
Forty-Six laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
The normal laws of physics do not apply.
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
Whenever someone or something jumps, is thrown, or otherwise is rendered airborn, gravity is reduced by a factor of 4.
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
In space, loud sounds, like explosions, are even louder because there is no air to get in the way.
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
In space, constant thrust equals constant velocity.
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
The larger a mechanical device is, the faster it moves. Armored Mecha are the fastest objects known to human science.
6. Law of Temporal Variability
Time is not a constant. Time stops for the hero whenever he does something 'cool' or 'impressive'. Time slows down when friends and lovers are being killed and speeds up whenever there is a fight.
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
'Good Guys' and 'Bad Guys' both die in one of two ways. Either so quick they don't even see it coming, OR it's a long drawn out affair where the character gains much insight to the workings of society, human existence or why the toast always lands butter side down.
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
It takes some time for bad guys to die... regardless of physical damage. Even when the 'Bad Guys' are killed so quickly they didn't even see it coming, it takes them a while to realize they are dead. This is attributed to the belief that being evil damages the Reality Lobe of the brain.
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
Scenes involving extreme amounts of action are depicted with either still-frames or black screens with a slash of bright color (usually red or white).
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
Scenes that only happen once, for instance, a 'Good Guy' kicks the 'Bad Guy' in the face, are seen at least 3 times from 3 different angles.
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
Everything explodes. Everything.
First Corollary - Anything that explodes bulges first.
Second Corollary - Large cities are the most explosive substances known to human science. Tokyo in particular seems to be the most unstable of these cities, sometimes referred to as "The Matchstick City".
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
Nearly all things emit light from fatal wounds.
13. Law of Energetic Emission
There is alway an energy build up (commonly referred to as an energy 'bulge') before Mecha or space craft weapons fire. Because of the explosive qualities of weapons, it is believed that this is related to the Law of Inherent Combustability.
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
The destructive potential of a weapon is inversly proportional to its size.
First Corollary - Small and cute will always overcome big and ugly. Also know as the A-Ko phenomenon.
15. Law of Inexhaustability
No one EVER runs out of ammunition. That is of course unless they are cornered, out-numbered, out-classed, and unconscious.
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
The accuracy of a 'Good Guy' when operating any form of fire-arm increases as the difficulty of the shot increases. The accuracy of the 'Bad Guys' when operating fire-arms decreases when the difficulty of the shot decreases. (Also known as the Stormtrooper Effect)
Example: A 'Good Guy' in a drunken stupor being held upside down from a moving vehicle will always hit, and several battalions of 'Bad Guys' firing on a 'Good Guy' standing alone in the middle of an open field will always miss.
First Corollary - The more 'Bad Guys' there are, the less likely they will hit anyone or do any real damage.
Second Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is faced with insurmountable odds, the 'Bad Guys' line up in neat rows, allowing the hero to take them all out with a single burst of automatic fire and then escape.
Third Corollary - Whenever a 'Good Guy' is actually hit by enemy fire, it is in a designated 'Good Guy Area', usually a flesh wound in the shoulder or arm, which restricts the 'Good Guy' from doing anything more strenuous than driving, firing weaponry, using melee weapons, operating heavy machinery, or doing complex martial arts maneuvres.
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
Minmei is a bimbo.
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
The human body contains over 12 gallons of blood, sometimes more, under high pressure.
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
Demons and other supernatural creatures have at least three eyes, loads of fangs, tend to be yellow-green or brown (but black is not unknown), and can only be hurt by bladed weapons.
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
Huge galaxy-wide armadas, entire armies, and large war-machines full of cruel, heartless, bloodthirsty warriors can be stopped and defeated with a single insignificant example of a caring/loving emotion or a song.
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
Tactical geniuses aren't...
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
People never notice the little things... Like missing body parts, or wounds the size of Seattle.
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
Children are smarter than adults. And almost always twice as annoying.
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
Americans in Anime appear in one of two roles, either as a really nasty skinny 'Bad Guy' or a big stupid 'Good Guy'.
First Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the big dumb Americans are the American translators. (Sometimes referred to as the Green Line Effect.)
Second Corollary - The only people who are more stupid than the American translators are the American editors and censors.
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
The size of a person's mouth is directly proportional to the volume at which they are speaking or eating.
26. Law of Feline Mutation
Any half-cat/half-human mutation will invariably:
a) be female
b) will possess ears and sometimes a tail as a genetic mutation
c)and wear as little clothing as possible, if any.
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
Any powerful weapon capable of destroying/defeating an opponent in a single shot will invariably be reserved and used only as a last resort.
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
The formal training required to operate a spaceship or mecha is inversely proportional to its complexity.
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
Any being displaying extremely high levels of martial arts prowess and/or violent emotions emits light in the form of a glowing aura. This aura is usually blue for 'good guys' and red for 'bad guys'. This is attributed to Good being higher in the electromagnetic spectrum than Evil.
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
All ugly, non-humanoid alien races are hostile, and usually hell-bent on destroying humanity for some obscure reason.
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
Any color in the visible spectrum is considered a natural hair color. This color can change without warning or explanation.
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
Hair in anime is pretty much indestructable, and can resist any amount of meteorological conditions, energy emissions, physical abuse, or explosive effects and still look perfect. The only way to hurt someone's hair is the same way you deal with demons...with bladed weapons!
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
ANY shape, no matter how convoluted or odd-looking, is automatically aerodynamic.
34. Law of Probable Attire
Clothing in anime follows certain predictable guidelines.
--Female characters wear as little clothing as possible, regardless of whether it is socially or meteorologically appropriate. Any female with an excessive amount of clothing will invariably have her clothes ripped to shreds or torn off somehow. If there is no opportunity to tear off the afore-mentioned female's clothes, then she will inexplicably take a shower for no apparent reason (also known as the Gratuitous Shower Scene).
--Whenever there is a headwind, a Male characters will invariably wear a long cloak which doesn't hamper movement and billows out dramatically behind him.
First Corollary (Cryo-Adaptability) - All anime characters are resistant to extremely cold temperatures, and do not need to wear heavy or warm clothing in snow.
Second Corollary (Indecent Invulnerability) - Bikinis render the wearer invulnerable to any form of damage.
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
Any character capable of musical talent (singing, playing an instrument, etc.) is automatically capable of doing much more "simple" things like piloting mecha, fighting crime, stopping an intergalactic war, and so on... especially if they have never attempted these things before.
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
Also called "The Five-man Rule," when "Good Guys" group together, it tends to be in groups of five. There are five basic positions, which are:
a) The Hero/Leader
b) His girlfriend
c) His Best Friend/Rival
d) A Hulking Brute
e) A Dwarf/Kid
Between these basic positions are distributed several attributes, which include:
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
All anime females have an extradimensional storage space of variable volume somewhere on their person from which they can instantly retrieve any object at a moment's notice.
First Corollary (The Hammer Rule) - The most common item stored is a heavy mallet, which can be used with unerring accuracy on any male who deserves it. Other common items include costumes/uniforms, power suits/armor, and large bazookas.
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
Eyes tend to be rather large in Anime. This is because they contain several gallons of water, which may be instantaneously released at high pressure through large tear ducts. The actual volume of water contained in the eyes is unknown, as there is no evidence to suggest that these reservoirs are actually capable of running out. The reason water tends to collect in the eyes is because Anime characters only have one large sweat gland, which is located at the back of the head. When extremely stressed, embarrassed, or worried, this sweat gland exudes a single but very large drop of sebaceous fluid.
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
Success at finding suitable mates is inversely proportionate to how desperately you want to be successful. The more you want, the less you get.
First Corollary Unfortunately, this law seems to apply to Otaku in the real world...
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
When sexually aroused, males in Anime don't get erections, they get nosebleeds. No one's sure why this is, though... the current theory suggests that larger eyes means smaller sinuses and thinner sinus tissue (see Law #38 above). Females don't get nosebleeds, but invariably get one heck of a blush along the cheeks and across the nose, suggesting a lot of bloodflow to that region.
41. Law of Xylolaceration
Wooden or bamboo swords are just as sharp as metal swords, if not sharper.
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
Always send a boy to do a man's job. He'll get it done in half the time and twice the angst.
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
There is no Law #43.
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
The likelihood of success and damage done by a martial arts attack is directly proportional to the volume at which the full name of the attack is announced.
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
Regardless of how long or involved the transformation sequence or how many times they've seen it before, any 'Bad Guys' witnessing a mecha/hero/heroine transforming are too stunned to do anything to interrupt it.
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
Simply changing into a costume or wearing a teensy mask can make you utterly unrecognizable to even your closest friends and relatives.
And if you watch anime, you'll notice that EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE ABOVE LAWS IS TRUE!! Scarily true...
Animals in Japanese:
Fox - Kitsune
Dog - Inu
Scorpion - Sasori
Cat - Neko
Snake - Hebi
Toad/Frog - Gama
Monkey - Saru
Dragon - Ryu
Tiger - Tora
Wolf - Ookami
Bird - Tori
Pig - Buta
Sheep - Hitsuji
Bear - Kuma
Mouse/Rat - Nezumi
Squirrel - Risu
Deer - Shika
Rabbit - Usagi
Cow/Ox - Ushi
Horse - Uma
Crow/Raven - Karasu
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, The O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype that fits you.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.(EMO IS A TYPE OF 80'S MUSIC)
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I’m STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly... or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE... So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so it MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up
I'm DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I like CATS, so I MUST dance like a cat in my spare time
I SPEAK GERMAN, so I MUST be a psycho Nazi
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST be rebellious
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser
I'm ALWAYS SMILING AND LAUGHING, so I MUST have a great life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention
I HANG OUT WITH GAYS, so I MUST be gay too
My best friend is BI, so I MUST be too.
I COPIED AND PASTED THIS INTO MY PROFILE, so I MUST be a plagiarist
I like to READ, so I MUST be a nerd
I FROWN a lot, so I MUST have a bad life
I like to listen to HANNAH MONTANA, so I MUST be childish and immature
I am POLITE to TEACHERS, so I MUST be a teacher's pet
I'm a GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I hate TWILIGHT so I MUST have no taste
I LOVE yaoi to I MUST be a rabid-fangirl
I COSPLAY to I must be UGLY and FAT
Stop stereotypes! Copy this list into your profile and add any more that you can think of.
Humor that I got from other random people's profiles:
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
Quit shaking my yogurt, you'll make it turn evil!
Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that it doesn't matter. You're a mile away and you got his shoes!
Most people don't use their tongues to say hello... Or I guess they do, but... -Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
A masochist, sadist, murderer, pyromaniac, zoophile, and necrophiliac were all sitting on a bench toghether bored out of their minds. To break the silence
the zoolphile spoke up, "Let's have sex with a cat."The sadist spoke, "Let's have sex with a cat and then torture it." The murderer spoke,
"Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, then kill it." The necrophiliac got excited and spoke. "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, then have
sex with it again." The pyromaniac spoke next, "Let's have sex with a cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again, then burn it." They all fell quiet.
The masochist then sheepishly smiled at them and said, "Meow."
I didn't lose my mind - I sold it on E-Bay!
What happens if you get scared half to death... twice?
If you've ever attempted alchemy by clapping your hands or drawing an array, copy and paste this into your profile.
Smirk, it makes people wonder what you’re up to, while scaring the shit out of them at the same time!
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
"Everything in this room is eatable. Even I'm eatable. But that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies."--Willie Wonka (Johnny Depp), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
A good lawyer knows the law, a great lawyer knows the judge
If electricty comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself...
Don’t knock on death’s door…ring the doorbell and run. He hates that.
If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.
You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.
Last night I was looking up at the stars wondering... WHERE THE HECK IS MY CEILING?
Smile, and the world will smile with you. Laugh and they'll all think your on drugs.
Men are like roses, you got to watch out for all the pricks
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics
Beauty is found in the heart, not in the eyes of some jealous bitch. So when you say "You're ugly." I'll laugh my cute laugh, smile, and say these simple words. "Don't hate me 'cause you ain't me!"- Repost if you agree!
"You've got enemies? Good, that means you actually stood up for something in your life." -Eminem
"...Or you're an ass." -Spencer E.
"Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film."
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of it's effects, copy and paste this into your profile.
It's not Princess; It's Madame Queen Goddess of Her Royal Highest May I Kiss Your Feet. ...Now try it again. (This made me laugh, so I added it)
True friends are the ones that put up with all your crap and still love you anyway.
Keep your head up beautiful, 'cause I know people who would love to see you fall.
To all my haters: I realize you have one advantage over me. You can kiss my ass, and I can't.
Who are you to judge me? I know I'm not perfect, and I don't claim to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean.
It breaks your heart when the people you know become the people you knew; when you can walk right past someone as if they were never a huge part of your life. You used to be able to talk for hours on the phone and now you can't even look each other in the damn eye. It completely breaks your heart to know good things change, and there's nothing that you can do. (Very true in my life right now. My supposed 'best friend' won't even say hi to me anymore. I've given her too many chances, and I've become a convinence for her.)
I'll never try to fit in. I was born to stand out.
Originality. Not sold in stores.
Drama? No thanks. Don't like me? Your problem. Love me or hate me, girl, please, I'm still gonna shine.
I am who I am. Your approval isn't needed.
The arrow goes forward only after pulling it backwards.
The bullet goes forward only after the trigger is pressed backwards.
Every human being will get happy
only after facing the difficulties in their life path.
So do not be afraid to face your difficulties
They will push you forward.
Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.
There's no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream.
I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
I tried being normal but I didn't like it.
I like a challenge, so challenge me. If I fight, fight me back. But it's okay to sometimes let me win. Know that I have my own mind. And so should you. Nobody likes an easy girl. Nobody likes an easy boy. Tell me when I'm wrong. Admit when I'm right. Respect me. My actions and my words. Feel free to argue, but be ready for a fight.
I'm quiet-doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say
I'm sarcastic-doesn't mean I don't take it seriously
I forgive-doesn't mean I forget
I'm stubborn-doesn't mean I'm not easy going
I don't show my feelings-doesn't mean I dont' have any
I'm not like you-doesn't mean I'm weird
I don't say I love you-doesn't mean I don't
Don't try to fix me. I'm not broken
I am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a student, a young woman, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and caring, thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly. I am careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided, and mislead. I am hardworking and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on stars and dream my dreams. I pray to God and cry my tears. I smile on the outside, while I'm dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. I walk on eggshells, I walk on fire. I believe in passion and true love. I love you and push you away. I am everything and nothing all at once. And all I want is for you to love me.
boo you hoe.