jaffacake1
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Joined 01-29-02, id: 162072
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter.
Katherine is a mildly interesting 16-year-old girl. Okay, we lied. She’s not even remotely interesting. We have absolutely no idea how we are going to fill a whole bio about her. It really is asking a lot.

She spends much of her time sitting staring into space. Buggered if we know what the hell she’s thinking about. Or if she’s even thinking at all. She is a phenomenon that has puzzled psychologists for centuries. Freud, Jung, Poppy’s dad… the fact that she even did research into the names of psychologists for this “bio” (as we are told it is called) is mind-boggling. As is the fact that she managed to get distracted by footballers whilst doing so. This girl has the attention span of a bored flea with an itchy leg. Oh, how we wish we were kidding.

When she is not ruminating in her secret Rumination Room (that her family still insist on referring to as “the shower room”), she likes to read. She is not fussed about what she reads, and will in fact read complete and utter trash if it is offered to her in a book with a velvet cover and shiny embossed writing. At the moment, she is reading The Lord of the Rings (again), and has made designs on The Princess Bride and Le Morte D’Arthur (which she will learn to spell when the situation arises). She also likes to watch television, particularly programmes that star James Marsters or Alexis Denisof. She is peculiarly partial to these, for reasons unknown to the uninitiated.

Katherine, like most teenage girls, enjoys visits to the cinema. She likes the velvet seats, although she cannot stand the smell of popcorn. She will watch any film, if someone else pays, but if it is coming out of her own pocket, she can be a little picky. However, she has no objection to shelling out to see Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings numerous times, and thus can now speak along with the actors, whilst at the same time defending Dominic Monaghan’s nose, which she insists is “endearing in its squishedness, and adds character to his face” (and God help you if you disagree with her).

She enjoys mocking her “friends”, although deep down, we suspect she may actually like them. Very deep down, of course, underneath all the sarcasm, bitchy comments and random poking. She can often be found in Room 49 playing “Catch the Bottle”, plotting how best to take over the world and threatening Harry/Hermione shippers with slow and painful deaths if they do not immediately renounce their beliefs and join the Good Ship R/Hr.

So, you wish to know about her ships, do you? Katherine is an ardent supporter of Ron/Hermione, and has recently become hopelessly addicted to Xandrew (that would be Xander and Andrew from Buffy). She will read just about anything providing it is well written and the story isn’t a romance based on a ship she detests. If it’s an action/adventure which just HAPPENS to contain a detested ship (grr), she will still read, see? She is not a major slasher, will most likely never write it (although has recently been plagued by Xandrew bunnies), but is perfectly happy to read it (and also see it wherever she turns). She hates (with the burning passion of a thousand fiery suns) Harry/Hermione, Draco/Hermione and Dawn/Andrew. Andrew? Straight? That’s just plain wrong. Sick and WRONG (although she is willing to make acceptions when the stories are written by Vanilla Tiger, cuz, c'mon, Andrew/Kennedy! Andrew/Tara! Andrew/Anya!) She also ships Percy/Tonks. No, really.

She is often heard using British swear words, mainly because she is British (Londonese, to be precise) and has a potty mouth. She is especially rude when spoken to before 12pm, or if the speaker uses a condescending/happy/angry/pleading/nice/nasty tone with her. She may bite if provoked.

She is often uncannily like Master Ronald Weasley, as she is sarcastic, vaguely redheaded, funny (or so she believes), pig-headed, oblivious to all around her and able to raise her eyebrow like Rupert Grint. She is occasionally like Hermione, as she has actually been known to panic about schoolwork (when she is not taking her usual Ron approach to life) and enjoys reading. She is like Neville, as she cannot go long without falling over, walking into inanimate objects and/or knocking over valuable antiques. She adores all the Weasleys, especially Ron and Percy, and is always partial to bookish and/or nerdy characters. We are not too sure why.

Katherine also loves Lord of the Rings, but will never, ever be writing any more fanfic on it. You just can’t. JRR Tolkien has written all there is to write. She adored the book (Return of the King made her weep like a little baby), and also loves The Hobbit and Bilbo’s Last Song (which she found for the first time yesterday and now wants for Christmas). She has attempted to read The Silmarillion, but is constantly getting distracted, and has been at the Siege of Angband for nigh on three months (and she STILL can’t spell it). She prefers book!Legolas to film!Legolas, but is not overly fond of either. She is a pervy hobbit fancier, and is one of a select group of people with brains enough to be able to tell Merry and Pippin apart. Merry, of course, is much better. Just read Return of the King and you will know why. In fact, just read LOTR and you will know why. His brilliance is so obvious, that even she has picked up on it.

When she has time, she loves to listen to music, especially Counting Crows, who she recently saw in concert, and is ever so slightly obsessed with. She also is the Queen of Procrastination, and sometimes even writes long, pointless bios in order to escape history revision (although we quite share her view that four hours on “the influence of chance/science/religion/some-other-bloody-stupid-factor in the history of medicine” is MORE than enough).

She spends much of her time comparing herself to characters out of books and TV shows, and aspiring to DrCoxness and Cordeliality. However, she has yet to achieve their flawless comebacks. One day, she hopes that she too will be able to reduce poor scared little people to tears.

She is currently studying for her GCSEs at a Grammar School in London, and next year will take A-Levels in Physics, Maths, Geography, Classical Civilisations, and an AS-Level in Further Maths. She is either extremely smart or extremely stupid. No one is entirely sure which. She intends to study Physics and Astronomy at Durham University and work for NASA once she has a PhD. However, this “lifelong dream” is subject to change, as she is unbelievably indecisive.

She spends far too much of her time on fanfiction.net, and hopes that one day, she will be free. This day is long in coming, and so she will most likely be around for quite some time to come.

~*~

When asked to use the word horticulture in a sentence, Dorothy Parker said:
"You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think."

"Not all those who wander are lost, but I'm pretty sure I walked past that tree 5 minutes ago..." - JRR Tolkien. Kinda.

“You can trust us to stick to you through thick and thin – to the bitter end. And you can trust us to keep any secret of yours – closer than you keep it yourself. But you cannot trust us to let you face trouble alone, and go off without a word. We are your friends, Frodo. We are horribly afraid – but we are coming with you; or following you like hounds.” – Master Meriadoc Brandybuck, Fellowship of the Ring. You can see why he’s the best, can’t you?

~Projects~ (18th February 2003)

Feeling Sorry for Hermione – NOT gonna be finished before OotP. Stupid time-consuming GCSEs. They finish 20th June, so hopefully *fingers crossed* I'll be able to finish it the week after that, before I go on holiday (Lanzarote, baby!)

Snow White - Still writing it, I'll get round to writing another chapter sometime. Maybe.

The Avengers get a *little* distracted – No more. Ever again. I promise.

YKYRTMHPW... – See above.

About Blimmin’ Time… - Have started writing Chapter 2, but don’t get your hopes up. I may never finish.

Niamh – Got bored. Unlikely to be continued, but you never know. However, I DO.

The Greatest of Them All – That’s all there is folks…

Someone I Knew – Same as above.

Practically Perfect In Every Way – Ditto. Probably.

Witch hunt - Hermione finds herself in Medieval England, accused of witchcraft, and sentenced to death at the stake. Ron and Harry, with the help of Draco and Ginny (for added tension and blushes, of course) must save her before it’s too late… name will be changed.

You can't choose your family- Ginny, due to some rather strong pregnancy hormones, has insisted that Draco must ‘bond’ with her brothers. Chaos, obviously, ensues. Will change title.

Breaking Rank - The Marauders? Sure, they’re funny, but no self-respecting girl would actually DATE one. Especially not Lily Evans, Queen Bee and B*tch Extraordinaire…

Ad Infinitum – Ron has an awful day. Ron has another awful day. The catch is… it’s the same awful day. Even Ron would notice that there’s something wrong. Will he ever sort it out with Hermione, or will he be stuck on March 14th for all eternity? I’ll give you 3 guesses… Title will be changed.

Domestication of the Weasel - Harry likes Ginny. Draco likes Ginny. Ginny likes... Ginny's not too sure what she likes. The problem? Besides the obvious, Ginny cannot date until Ron does. And Ron... well, he won't be owning up to "liking" Hermione anytime soon. What's a girl to do?

I’ll probably never write the five at the bottom. But hey... here's hoping. Well, I like them anyway...

And any livejournal users out there... come befriend me, please? I'm a lonely little newbie right now...

I really need to use less ellipses.

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The Lord Of The Diaries by The Cuckoo Crew reviews
Harry and his friends must embark on a dangerous and perilous journey to destroy the One Diary, forged by the Dark Lord Voldemort, in the waters of Moaning Myrtle's toilet...
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,797 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/26/2004 - Published: 12/19/2002
Writing To Ron by cinderella200 reviews
A series of letters between Ron Weasley, and several weird organizations, including PureBloods United, The Reality Check Corporation and The Association Of Magical Teenagers.Includes diary entries by RonBased on 'Feeling Sorry For Celia'Jaclyn Moriarty
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,087 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 58 - Updated: 6/3/2004 - Published: 1/30/2004 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
OLD: The Hopefully NonMagic Diary of Ginny Weasley by seven years reviews
She's failing potions, she doesn't have a boyfriend-and she's positive that the whole school is insane. How is she to survive? Maybe taking off the mask she wears will help-and maybe someone is hiding in the shadows, helping her do just that. DG
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,478 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/21/2004 - Published: 11/27/2002 - Ginny W., Draco M.
St Patrick's Day by Pooty the Monkey reviews
What if what you wanted was right there all along? Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger make a deal just as they've given up on ever finding true love. What they didn't expect was to find love in an unexpected place- each other.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,384 - Reviews: 687 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 12/9/2003 - Published: 9/19/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Not Crazy, Just Different by Skye Rocket reviews
Darby Holliwether is a fifth year Gryffindor when Harry comes to Hogwarts. Read her diary, focusing on her two main loves/obsessions: Bizzy (her iguana) and...Percy Weasley...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 38,768 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/25/2003 - Published: 8/3/2002 - Percy W.
All Tied Up by Whiskey Meteor reviews
Xander/Andrew Season 7, before Storyteller. A relationship developes between Xander and Andrew. **Complete**
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,091 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/9/2003 - Published: 4/27/2003 - Complete
The Call of Cthandrhu by Flanna reviews
Andrew visits his brother Tucker, attending college at Miskatonic University. An unapologetically silly mix of Lovecraft and Sunnydale.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,060 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/26/2003 - Published: 6/5/2003
Perfect World by Silvver Phoenix reviews
Sequel to Bury the Hatchet. As a new school year approaches, Professor Weasley is called back to duty as an Auror. Hermione by his side, they are faced with preventing an ancient magic with the potential to destroy Muggle-kind from being unleashed.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 134,697 - Reviews: 1339 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 6/20/2003 - Published: 12/4/2002 - Ron W., Hermione G.
A Lapse in Logic by Lost Dove reviews
*COMPLETE* R/Hr sixth year. There are a lot of things that seem inexorable - there are so many things we want to remember and yet can't bear to. Fluff, and angst, and two people who can almost figure it out.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,687 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 23 - Updated: 6/4/2003 - Published: 8/14/2002 - Ron W., Hermione G. - Complete
Family Matters by drama-princess reviews
Harry, Snape, and Sinistra must pose as a Muggle family over the summer holidays-- and in doing so, don't only discover a web of intrigue in the Order of Phoenix, but something about themselves as well.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,870 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 5/20/2003 - Published: 12/29/2002 - Harry P., Severus S.
Kiss the Girl by Fleur the First reviews
*FINISHED 4/16!* Everybody knows Ron is hung up on Hermione. After a considerable bit of whining, and some threats on Harry's part, a select group of people come together to play the chaotic came of matchmaking, much to Ron's chagrin.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,393 - Reviews: 644 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 4/16/2003 - Published: 8/4/2002 - Ron W., Hermione G.
The Andrew Show by Mad Bomber reviews
Start Trek, Pirates, and Gummi Bears!
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,913 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/8/2003
The Marauders and the Triwizard Tournament by tempestuous reviews
Canon timeline? Who bothers with that! (a sarcastic Marauderfic parody) FINALLY UPDATED!!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,902 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/2/2003 - Published: 8/8/2002
The Incentive by Quidditch Anyone reviews
Ron can't tell Hermione he likes her until she falls for someone else... but not really.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,374 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 10 - Updated: 12/31/2002 - Published: 8/27/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Scarlet by Ann Valentine reviews
As we grow up, even the brightest dreams are extinguished. (Percy POV)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 812 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2002 - Percy W.
The Secert Journal of Ronald Weasley by Phoenix Pendron reviews
Inspired by Arabella's HQoW this is Ron's journal starting his third year. Please R/R. It's time Ron had his say... (Important update to Author's Notes)
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,079 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 11/12/2002 - Published: 9/8/2002 - Ron W., Ron W.
Never Write Anything Down by Grommetik reviews
A story written entirely in the form of notes written by the Hogwarts students. (This is a sequel to the other one I wrote) It's Valentine's day, and, predictably, Ron doesn't know what on earth he's doing
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,159 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/20/2002 - Ron W., Hermione G.
Operation Midget-and-Giant by She's a Star reviews
Harry likes Ginny. Ginny likes Harry. The problem? The both of them don't know it. The solution? Ron and Hermione playing matchmaker. COMPLETED.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,447 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/14/2002 - Published: 6/24/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Minion For Hire by Kate Higgins reviews
Insane, comedy shortfic. No pairing - just a pair of morons. Harmony and Andrew meet - is the universe safe? Short answer= probably.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,753 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/7/2002 - Harmony K.
Last Standing by Victoria Bitter reviews
To live can sometimes be the hardest thing.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,477 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/25/2002 - Meriadoc B., Peregrin T.
The Avengers v. Sunnydale by pippins-gal reviews
Protecting the rights of fictional characters everywhere, here come The Avengers, four teenagers out to save the world, though not all of them seem to realize it…
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,542 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/9/2002 - Published: 2/4/2002
Of Inoculations and Insanity by Madhuri reviews
Molly Weasley takes Ron and Ginny to St. Mungo's to be inoculated- and all hell breaks loose.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,007 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/30/2001 - Ron W., Ginny W.
Out of the closet, into the frying pan. by Cairnsy reviews
Percy decides to come out to his family. Slightly slashy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,972 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 359 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/3/2001
Just Some Harmless Brotherly Advice by jen3 reviews
A dialogue between Bill and Percy, concerning a very pressing subject in the magical land of Percy's love life, that takes place on Christmas. Happy holidays to all :)
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,794 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/23/2000 - Percy W.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Feeling Sorry For Hermione reviews
Harry's life is still in danger, Dumbledore still adores muggle sweets, and Ron is STILL completely and utterly oblivious. Hermione’s fifth year, told through letters to and from imaginary societies, penpals, parents etc, like in Feeling Sorry For Celi
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 33,722 - Reviews: 220 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/17/2003 - Published: 8/13/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Things That Go Bump In The Night reviews
Ron has a terrifying encounter in the middle of the night, with... a spider on the dorm ceiling. Very short nonsense fic, but it's got good grammar! Isn't that enough to make you want to read it??
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 881 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 10 - Published: 8/12/2002 - Ron W.
Someone I Knew reviews
Neville has just found out that Professor Moody was in fact one of the people responsible for sending his parents to St Mungo's. His rather jumbled thoughts on that matter. Y'know, there's no Neville on the characters list! Sacrilege!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 976 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 8/9/2002 - Published: 8/6/2002
Practically Perfect In Every Way reviews
Ron watches Hermione and thinks a little. Introspective!Ron in this one. R/Hr all the way
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 972 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/6/2002 - Ron W.
The Greatest of Them All reviews
Hermione's thoughts at Ron's funeral. Angsty fluff. Not happy fluff. Do not be fooled... but read anyway. Please?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,514 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/1/2002 - Hermione G., Ron W.
Niamh reviews
Ever wondered what it was like for someone at Hogwarts who *wasn't* one of Harry and Co.? Well, even if you haven't, you could still find out here... set during CoS... sorry, v bad summary
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,139 - Reviews: 5 - Published: 4/29/2002
YKYRTMHPW... reviews
You Know You've Read Too Much Harry Potter When... Do I even need to explain??
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 708 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/9/2002
About Blimmin' Time... reviews
Ron and Hermione both go kinda crazy. Hormones are hitting etc, and they're *finally* getting a clue. Well, kinda.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,437 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/29/2002 - Ron W., Hermione G.