Karen Cullen3
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Joined 07-03-08, id: 1622960, Profile Updated: 06-15-09
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

Hey people! Here's some worthless stuff about me. Oh, and my profile picture isn't me. It's my character! Read below if you want to understand that.

Name- Casey

Reason for the "Karen" in my screen name- Karen Cooper is a character in the movie/play Night of the Living Dead. I played Karen in the production at my local theater. It was so much fun.

Age- Between 10-30

Location- North America

Intrests- Reading, Edward Cullen, Twilight, Acting/Directing, Movies that aren't stupid, and Music in general.

Dislikes- School, Poor grammar, People who make fun of Twilight, People that refuse to read Twilight, My best friend when she's watching That's 70's Show, That's 70's show, Bad music.

NOTE For those of you who plan on reading all of this(you're crazy if you do!), you may realize I'm not like most people... I blame Twilight for doing this to me, but I think it's worth it. So, anyways, my mind doesn't work like most people. It gets crazy and hectic at some times, and then it gets all serious and starts talking like an adult. So, if you get confused, this may help.

NOTE I am a very extensive(See?! Big girl word.) reader and reviewer. So, if you need/would like constructive criticism, I'm your girl! But, if you'd like me to read your story, just because you think I'll get a kick out of it(I get a kick out of a lot of thing's), then just PM me and I'll gladly read your story!

NOTE There is a very rude author called Flame Rising. Flame Rising flames everyone (pardon the pun). So if Flame Rising flames you, don't feel bad, just know that you are not alone. Flame Rising also uses cuss words. A lot of them. Go look at his profile and there's a link to his fictionpress profile. Click on it and look at his so called good reasons for flaming. They're stupid. He also has no stories. I wonder why. Perhaps because he can't write a story that meets his guidelines? Probably. Copy and Paste this onto your profile to help stop this horrible author...(Though i don't think that this will help in stopping him. He seems like a real enter cuss word of choice here.)

NOTE I'm a Beta!! Yay. I really want to Beta something so if anybody would like me to Beta for them, I'd love to do it! Any takers?

Random Copy and Paste Things...

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Bella Swan: Clumsier than you since 1989

(Ha! They ah-bivously haven't met me!)


Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.

It's always the last place you look... Well duh!! Why would I keep looking after i found it?!

What happens when you get scared half to death twice?...

When life gives you lemons, scream at life- I mean, seriously, what good is lemons without the sugar? I can't make lemonade without sugar, can I?

Before you insult someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away AND have their shoes!

If at first, you don't succeed, try try again. If once again you fail, destroy the trail.

You see, I used to be normal. But then I learned to read. So, the normalness went right down the drain! My dad blames my first grade teacher...

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up

I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Everything here is eatable. Even I am eatable, but that my dear children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

a good friend helps you up if you trip, but
a best friend just stands there laughing beause they tripped you




You know the speed of light;so what is the speed of dark ?

The Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

road to success is always under construction.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in HIS car.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

My Friend,
my companion,
through good times and bad
my friend, my buddy,
through happy and sad,
beside me you stand,
beside me you walk,
you're there to listen,
you're there to talk,
with happiness, with smiles,
with pain and tears,
I know you'll be there,
throughout the years!

-Trying is the first step toward failure

a good friend helps you up if you trip, but
a best friend just stands there laughing beause they tripped you

yo-yos were invented as a weapon

For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.

Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

Thanks Stephenie now I will NEVER get a man.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. But a best friend will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love..

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

On a package of peanuts: open package, eat nuts. (What were you supposed to do? Throw them at the people sitting near you?)

On a child's Superman costume: Warning: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly. (I blame the parents for that one)

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

(I truly believe that. It explains why so many girls that are pretty and smart, feel like they aren't pretty and that nobody loves them. We just need to wait ladies. Our guy will come.)

I'm not with stupid anymore! Education is important, school however, is another matter.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Don’t mess with me. I've got a stick.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't a good evening.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste.


1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

she said that she wanted to get high- he took her to the tallest hill in town.
she said that she wanted to stay up all night & drink- he gave her a 12 pack of caffeinated pepsi & said ‘drink up’
she said that she wanted to shoot herself- he gave her a water gun, put her finger on the trigger & aimed it at her face.
she said that she wanted to cut herself up- he took a polaroid of her, handed it to her along w/ scissors & had her cut it up.
she said that she wanted to see her blood- he took her to get her ears pierced.
she said that she wanted to cry herself to sleep- he had her watch a sad romantic movie before bed.
she said that she wanted to be alone- he gave her a nametag that said "my name is: ALONE."
she said that she wanted to have someone there to take care of her, always; he asked when he wasnt.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen

Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh
Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who'll go through all of your shit and throw the crap in the ocean.(No matter where you live.)
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a BEST FRIEND will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We SCREWED UP!"


You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one to your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

92 percent of teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you at least love Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, and maybe even Carlisle, copy this into your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward, Anthony, or Masen, copy this into your profile

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you've walked under something that was about three feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.(Although, when I read about Edward(Sigh) I did die and go to heaven. But I got better.)

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward", you freak out because you love him so much, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this to your profile.

You know you're obsessed with Twilight if...

You start going up to random people to tell them you want an Edward!

You think your next door neighbor looks like a vampire, or he really is a vampire.

You try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them.

You've read Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse at least 5 times each!

You check on this site 5 times (or more) a day to see if there's any new Twilight news.

You think your best friend's crazy for not reading Twilight, New Moon, and/or Eclipse.

When you see a box labeled "Forks", you think there's something imported from Forks, Washington in there.

Twilight has ruined any and all future reading for you.

You use Twilight for every single school project that pops up.

You break up with your boyfriend because he doesn't glitter in the sun like Edward.

You have nothing to do, so you go to http://www.stepheniemeyer.com and read everything on the site twice. And then go to the Lexicon and do the same thing.

You promise your friend that if he can find you an Edward, you'll give him the answers to your homework for the rest of your school-life.

When your best friend's mom drives fast and you scream, "OMG! You drive fast! You're a vampire and you didn't TELL me?"

You drink red drinks and yell, "Whoo! I'm a vampire! But I'm a vegetarian one, because I don't kill people! Only red berries!"

You buy your friend her own copy of Eclipse so that she doesn't have to steal yours for any amount of time.

You plan on naming your children after characters in any of the books in the Twilight series.

You walk around school looking for pale-skinned, inhumanly beautiful classmates with red or gold eyes.

You see a shadow, think it's Edward, and start talking to it.

You compare every guy you meet and are honestly disapointed when they never measure up.

If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile, and add something to the list that proves you're obsessed. (Disclaimer: I got this list off of www.bellaandedward.com, which I don't own, and I don't own Stephenie Meyer's website.)


If you're one of those people who gets excited when you see just two reviews, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Breaking Dawn now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get super upset and throw a fit until all the people in the room run away whenever someone says that the characters of Twilight aren't real, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fan-fiction copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped on air, and were so happy because you thought Edward Cullen might come and save you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you watched Harry Potter 4 just to see Robert Pattison, then got so wrapped up that you forgot Cedric died and cried because it looked like Edward dying, copy and paste this in your profile.(I did... and I've seen it who knows how many times! And I've read the book over and over and over!) I got over it quickly though... cuz Cedric is Robert Pattison and Rob Pattison is playing Edward and Cedric is dead and Edward is technically dead, too!

hahaha. Those thing's are all stuff I would end up doing...

Okay, so me and my friend Courtney were talking the other day, and this is how our convo went:

Courtney-I'm bored.

Me- Me too...WWED?


Me-They would end up fighting... So... WWAD?



Me- Well, ALice would go shopping and it's too late for that...And Jasper would probably go hunting or play soldier...




Me- Emmett would make fun of Bella...And Rosalie would just look at herself or go trick out someone's car...Or maybe the lawn mower... WWCD?



Me-Well, Carlisle would go get Jasper and make him stop playing soldier, then they would go break up Edward and Jacob's fight, and Esme would yell at Emmett for making fun of Bella. Which leaves us with WWBD, but we only want to be her because she gets Jake and Edward who are currently getting scolded by Carlisle for almost breaking the treaty...So we don't really care what Bella would do...

If your on Team Edward copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get upset when Jacob kisses Bella in the books even though you knew it was coming copy and pase this into your profile.

If you cried in new moon then copy and paste this into your profile.

This is Bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him dominate the world!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you've read these to your friend who hasn't read Twilight, and they just stared at you like you were a freak, copy and paste this into your profile, then read it to them.

Guess what.

I'm bored. PM me for more stories please.


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.

I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.

I'm in LOVE, so I MUST be having sex.

I WEAR GLASSES, so I MUST be smart.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add.

People, that last one was me. And I have to tell everyone that calls me that how much I eat. My way of stayng skinny: EAT SLOWLY! It's really simple! The slower you eat, the faster your body digests it, and you know when you're full faster. You don't shove extra food down. And I don't exercize, except for when me and my friend go on walks around my neighborhood! Sorry for that rant, but I needed to get it out of my system. All better now.

BTW- I have a new story! Yay! But it doesn't get updated a lot, 'cause of school. Boo. Sorry, but I hear from reviewers that it's good, so please read!

Pictures for Notebook-

Ch. 1-

The notebook, just imagine the words gone- http://www.flickr.com/photos/wisecraft/256371360/

Ch. 3-

Bellas shirt, click on the teal-

Bellas jeans-

Bellas shoes, white-

Hey y'all. Sorry that I never update! But I'm trying to update twice a month! Sorry!! I still love you!!


Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hear No Evil by BlueSea14 reviews
After over a hundred years alone, a deaf vampire Bella finds the Cullen family. With no memory of her human past, and no way to communicate with the world, how can they help her? Canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 97,325 - Reviews: 1614 - Favs: 2,688 - Follows: 975 - Updated: 2/14 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Love Through Music by CrazyFanGirl20 reviews
After New Moon. 'The only way Bella and Edward could get over each other was through their own music but what they didnt know was that it was only bringing them closer and closer together again.' 1st time writer!REVIEW
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 39,029 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 54 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 6/9/2008
Dateless For Too Long by softballgirl1136 reviews
Bella is sick of spending Saturday nights alone while her two best friends go out on their dates. When she meets Edward, a charming green eyed waiter, she finds hope for herself. All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 103,303 - Reviews: 1714 - Favs: 1,383 - Follows: 815 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Complete
The Foreign Hottie by blackxout reviews
Edward Cullen is a foreign exchange student from London who comes to live with the Swans for a whole year. Bella Swan couldn’t be anymore upset over the fact that a boy has to share a room with her. Could her feelings toward him ever change? OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 46,181 - Reviews: 4995 - Favs: 2,635 - Follows: 2,772 - Updated: 8/12/2010 - Published: 4/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
Detention by Sorark reviews
Mr. Cullen this is Miss. Swan. Isabella meet your very own personal slave, Edward Cullen. He will be doing anything you want him to for the next three weeks, so use him wisely." EPOV Please R&R. M for a reason. Mike OOC and Bella kind of but not really.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,077 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 4/4/2010 - Published: 7/22/2008 - Edward, Bella
All Because of A Reese's by Shai Butter reviews
“I will love you forever if you let me have that,” I said suddenly, surprising myself. Edward chuckled. “Is that a promise?” he teased...Forget about Alice, Edward is Bella's new college roommate. What will happen? Is love in the air? Full summary inside!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 56,131 - Reviews: 1748 - Favs: 1,049 - Follows: 631 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Forsaking All I've Fallen For by taylorcullenforever reviews
*Sequels to He Left,I'm Pregnant* As Bella and Edward start to build their life together, Bella ends up going through dozens of prophecies of their future. A Girl becomes a voice inside Bellas head and things start coming after the Cullens. Who will die?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 33,848 - Reviews: 249 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Edward, Bella
The Notebook by rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe reviews
ON HIATUS Bella has given up on finding love so she is writing in her notebook to a stranger, asking him to love her. She puts it in the library for someone to pick up and reply to her entries. Edward happens to step upon this notebook. BE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,237 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 3/18/2008
Collide by MeltingInHisGoldenEyes reviews
Emmett, Jasper and Bella are going to London on holiday. The famous Edward, Alice and Rosalie are there for work, what happens when both partys 'Collide?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,371 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 1/21/2009
Run, Jake, run! by Sophia24 reviews
Jake's in trouble with Edward and Bella. what would you do if you had two furious vampires after you? run, of course! Jake/Nessie. Now a multi-chaptered fic.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,862 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 11/15/2009 - Published: 3/30/2009 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Dorm Dilemma by bitemeplease235 reviews
All Human. What happens when Bella goes off to college to find that she has to share a dorm with a guy? And that guy happens to be Edward Cullen? And she finds a deep attraction instantly? Hmmm...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 35,731 - Reviews: 2814 - Favs: 1,360 - Follows: 1,503 - Updated: 8/26/2009 - Published: 9/1/2008 - Bella, Edward
100 Years Later by CCgirl1410 reviews
Edward left and Bella is now a vampire hangin out with the wolves. What happens when they meet 100 years later? Sorry I'm bad at summeries! Bella and Edward. T just to be on the safe side.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,349 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 8/3/2009 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
Is your Fridge Running by isabellsah cullen reviews
So Bella stays at the Cullen's house and the pranking begins with Bella! It has some ExB fluff and a lot of laughs! Emmett singing,not swearing, annoying Bella... Interested?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 77,075 - Reviews: 1453 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 526 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 5/31/2008
My Notebook Will Explain by notnowgarrison reviews
The juniors are given a pen pal project for the summer. Who is this mysterious "Insane of Mind" Bella keeps writing to? Who is "Quite Clumsy" Edward is falling in love with? What happens when they start pouring their souls out to each other? AH, OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 74,777 - Reviews: 1245 - Favs: 897 - Follows: 451 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stuck! by Annilaia reviews
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,759 - Reviews: 1440 - Favs: 2,152 - Follows: 811 - Updated: 7/11/2009 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Finally I've Found You by lollypop6 reviews
What if Bella was already a vampire when she came to Forks? Where has she seen Edward Cullen before? Cannon pairings
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,901 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 7/5/2009 - Published: 6/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
To Live? by MeltingInHisGoldenEyes reviews
Bella was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer at the age of 14. With her time on this earth shortened her best friend is determined to give her what she always wanted. Edward Cullen is the famous son of the world famous doctor Carlisle Cullen. ALL HUMAN
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 17,170 - Reviews: 284 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 7/2/2009 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Complete
Angels Sing, Gods Play The Piano by coquelicotte reviews
Welcome to Washington State Music Academy:Bella Swan gets accepted into a prestigious music academy, where she meets the mysteriously gorgeous Edward Cullen. They make beautiful music, but can that be enough for them to realize their love? ALL HUMAN! R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,520 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 4/13/2008 - Edward, Bella
We Meet Again by bloodwhore reviews
Bella and Edward meet again after 16 years apart! But this time... they've both got company. A HUGE TWIST! Full Summary inside! First FanFic! Rated T just in case :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 42,289 - Reviews: 543 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 3/17/2008 - Bella, Edward
My Best Friend's Baby by Alyssa4Music4Life reviews
Bella married Edward. Now, she waits for him to get back from hunting so he'll change her. But one night when she and Jacob do something naughty, Bella realizes she'll have to wait for about nine more months before fullfilling her wish...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 24 - Words: 17,788 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 6/28/2009 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Bella
College Talk by AvatarTwilightObsession reviews
Name has changed! Bella Swan moves away to New York to start a New Life, of course there she meets Edward Cullen, and the rest of the gang. Everything is changing, for the better, but what happens when their pasts begin to catch up with them? R&R! ExB, AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 90,430 - Reviews: 482 - Favs: 427 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 6/20/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Beginning of Eternity by idancewithvamps reviews
Fluff isn't everything. Shouting matches, stress, unexpected guests, cheetos and much more inside this post-eclipse story. Wedding, change, etc.Bella is changed and something is different about her... ExB. Epilogue up! Enjoy! PleaseReview! First Fanfic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 50,478 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 6/8/2009 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Top 15 Things To Remember While Dating a Human by nomorever reviews
This Emmet's list of things Edward should remember while he is dating Bella. One shot. Re-edited to fix the cut-out words.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 317 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/29/2009 - Published: 6/18/2008 - Complete
Love Me by Emiliana Keladry reviews
Bella is sick and finds out she has cancer. Edward has to make a decision before it's too late. Nominated for Best Romance on La Tua Cantante awards.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 49,799 - Reviews: 1190 - Favs: 1,009 - Follows: 402 - Updated: 5/26/2009 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Twilight Rewritten by Chasmofinsanity reviews
Twilight rewritten. literally.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 7 - Published: 5/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Reasons To Be Missed by Emmeline Rose reviews
The sequel to Beauty and the Geek. A therapist goes into his office to see his weekly patient, a strange man who refuses to say why he is there in the first place, to be surprised when the patient opens up about his life. What happened so many years ago?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,233 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 11/8/2008
Bella's Little Secret by WeepingWillow1494 reviews
STORY BEING Restarted/CONITNUED IN "STRAINED ANGUISH" PEOPLE! This is the first version...but it's only a few chapters and will NOT be continued...it has been rewritten in "STRAINED ANGUISH".
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,528 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 6/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
He left, I'm Pregnant by taylorcullenforever reviews
Edward left Bella. She soon finds herself pregnant with his baby. She's not going to tell him but soon finds the Cullens are back. What will she do? 1st time writer, plz R&R. During New Moon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 53,168 - Reviews: 1197 - Favs: 745 - Follows: 362 - Updated: 4/24/2009 - Published: 3/17/2008 - Complete
From Where I'm Standing by runaway xo reviews
Series of One-shots. All in the different POV's of the many Twilight Characters and their perspective of Edward and Bella's relationship. Fluff. Of course.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,568 - Reviews: 930 - Favs: 697 - Follows: 377 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 4/5/2008
I Love To Hate You by An End Has A Start reviews
He loves her. She hates him. He’s trying to win her over but in the screwed up world that is highschool things are never that simple. ExB All Human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 117,156 - Reviews: 3242 - Favs: 1,665 - Follows: 773 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Boy Next Door by Hannahe93 reviews
Bella Swan just moved to Forks with her Mother and brother. She becomes best friends with her new neighbors fast, but holds a particular interest in their green-eyed son. All Human, original pairings
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 71,591 - Reviews: 370 - Favs: 241 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 4/12/2009 - Published: 10/19/2008 - Complete
I Hate Everything About You by twilightnite reviews
/All human/I gawked at the boy walking through the door. The girls swooned at the sight of him. I froze. It couldn’t be him. He turned, his eyes met mine. It was. And he was headed right for me. Him. I hate Edward Cullen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,310 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 3/29/2009 - Published: 4/6/2008
Just Imagine by TRDancer reviews
So Bella and Alice are in Bella's bedroom, and Bella is making the ultimate decision. Does she want Alice to change her? Little do they know, the choice doesn't particularly matter...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 517 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Alice - Complete
what Lies Beneath by Catherine18305 reviews
This was the very first poem that i ever wrote, and i honestly think that its my best one. I didn't have to think about it at all, which is why i think that it is sssooo great. I hope you feel the same way lol.
Heart is a Lonely - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 135 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Complete
Wonders by Catherine18305 reviews
I actually hate this poem with a firey passion, but i thought i might as well put it on here b/c someone might like it.
Heart is a Lonely - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 81 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Complete
Winds by Catherine18305 reviews
Ha ha ha i had taken my first yoga class, and this is what i felt like afterwards. Lol i was calm and quiet but then i got in fight with my mom. So naturally i wrote down what i felt.
Heart is a Lonely - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 152 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Complete
Sssssshhhhhhh by Catherine18305 reviews
I just wrote this when i was super bored in math class. Simple as that. U can tell b/c im talking about being bored.
Heart is a Lonely - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 132 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/12/2009
Sinned by Catherine18305 reviews
I honestly don't remember writing this one, but it was prolly from when i had a dream, woke up and wrote it down when i was half asleep lol. I still think its good though :
Heart is a Lonely - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 97 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Complete
Chills by Catherine18305 reviews
So basically all of these stories are just random poems that i write when im feeling a certain emotion. In this poem, i was just in a dark mood lol. So i wrote what i felt.
Heart is a Lonely - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12/2009 - Complete
Stranger Things Have Happened by orionzbelt reviews
They were barely friends, so what made Edward and Bella think they could pull off pretending to be a couple? Throw an oblivious ex-wife, a pregnant sister-in-law and some mischievous friends into the mix and it's a recipe for disaster...or is it? ALL HUMA
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,865 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 2/5/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cullen's trip to WalMart by Paranoid Pessimist reviews
The Cullens move to a new town in Montana and decide to let the people there know that the Cullen Family is in town... by playing pranks in Wal-mart. This is about 70 years after Bella has been married to ewdard and changed into a vampire. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,078 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 253 - Follows: 223 - Updated: 2/3/2009 - Published: 5/15/2008
Meyer University by Sh.C reviews
Bella moves to college where she meets and befriends the Cullens and Hales. Edward Cullen goes through many girls he meets Bella & sees something he likes. Much better Summary Inside. All Human. Adventure, mystery, humor & of course,a little romance! AU
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 184,281 - Reviews: 8268 - Favs: 5,997 - Follows: 2,228 - Updated: 1/8/2009 - Published: 11/2/2007 - Complete
Please trust me by TouchMyGoldenHeart-SMWB reviews
Bella gets a phone call that changes everything between her and Edward
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 26,880 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Complete
Accident & Emergency by Annilaia reviews
Oh, hey there Edward. Nice seeing you today. Sorry about crashing into your car with my truck. Think we can be friends? Yeah? Oh that's awesome! I hope your whiplash isn't as bad as mine, and sorry again for the huge dent in your door... AH, B/E
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,319 - Reviews: 551 - Favs: 616 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 12/26/2008 - Published: 6/30/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Smile by Ringbearingreasergal reviews
What if Edward hadn't sucked all of James' venom out of Bella? What if, because of this, she was dying and he, guilt-stricken, turned away? What if she needs him to smile for her one last time? Oneshot. ExB. Slightly more detailed summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,066 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Kentucky Fried Chicken by SweeneyLovett reviews
What happens when Bella gets a craving for some KFC chicken? Rated T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,089 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/17/2008 - Complete
Spirit Fingers by SweeneyLovett reviews
Emmett watches Bring It On. How will it effect him? Takes place after Eclipse but before BD.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Complete
The One Thing That Shall Scar You For Life by SweeneyLovett reviews
Renesmee comes home after a day with Jake at La Push. When she gets home, what does she see that will evidently scar her for life? Nessie is 16, told from her pov. Very short. Please review!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 733 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Complete
More Than Ever by MeltingInHisGoldenEyes reviews
Isabella Swan's only love is getting married to Tanya Delani... What happens to Bella and Edward? Is it truely over? ALL HUMAN... I know it's a rubbish summary but check it out or you'll regret it :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,036 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 12/7/2008 - Published: 11/1/2008 - Complete
Only You by Annilaia reviews
Alice never believed in coincidence. Ten years ago the ouija board spelled out the name of her 'true love', she's been waiting for him ever since.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,501 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 12/4/2008 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Alaska by SweeneyLovett reviews
Edward and Bella are in Alaska. What kind of trouble will they get into? Really short. One-shot.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,236 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Complete
McGonagall's Worst Nightmare by Anaela loves who reviews
James Potter, son of Harry Potter – why is the perfect trouble maker? McGonagall’s subconscious knows why. Silly one-shot – but lot’s of fun! POST DH CANON
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,006 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Complete
Edward Sleeps by PassionforTwilight reviews
A fluffy, one-shot featuring Edward and Bella and a very unexpected event. Set pre-Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,526 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 26 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Complete
The Last Night by mskayla reviews
All Human. Renee is a druggie that beats Bella. Her dad turns his head because he's in love with Renee. It started when she was 14. For 3 yrs she thinks she worthless cutting herself. Can the Cullens change her outlook on life?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 47 - Words: 90,126 - Reviews: 1828 - Favs: 854 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
You Know You're Obsessed With Twilight When by Number-1- Twilighters reviews
You know you are! This is the list of things that us "Twilighters" do because of our obsession. Use it as your Twilight checklist. 1,000 reasons!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 23,069 - Reviews: 792 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 111 - Updated: 11/5/2008 - Published: 9/5/2008 - Complete
So it begins by Sophia24 reviews
Sequel to 'Bella's big surprise'. Must read that to understand this story...What happens when Charlie and Beth learn to walk and talk? one word; trouble
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 32,233 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 11/3/2008 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Complete
3 Little Words by Shai Butter reviews
Bella Swan is the most beautiful vampire to have ever existed but has never known love. When she moves to Forks she meets the Cullens. Are they the friends she's yearned for? Will she find the love she longs for and finally hear those "3 Little Words"?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,375 - Reviews: 266 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Bella, Edward
Planning Perfection by An End Has A Start reviews
Bella, Maid of Honour, has been paired up with the Best Man, Edward, to help plan Alice and Jasper’s wedding. They have never met each other but have to create that perfect day. Either sparks will fly or it will be a colossal failure. All Human ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 45,237 - Reviews: 1561 - Favs: 2,223 - Follows: 619 - Updated: 10/7/2008 - Published: 8/24/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Always the Bridesmaid, Never the Bride by sentences-of-yours reviews
ALL HUMAN. Bella is a wedding planner in New York and she is sick of always being the single one. She wants to find her own happy ending. What happens when Prince Charming comes along? E/B. Rated T just in case!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,365 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/4/2008
Trauma Minor by Lady Saffir reviews
Carlisle gets an unexpected visit from Bella at work.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,433 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 66 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
The Twelve Reasons by Twilight.Eclipse101 reviews
Bella has always wondered why Edward loves her, a dozen roses and twelve reasons later she knows why. One Shot! ExB R&R Please!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,889 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/31/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Memories by starfireash reviews
Bella can play with people's memories. she can remember everything from everyone else's lives. everyone's except her own. the only thing she remember's is her name and the fact that she was in love... but with who?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 31,564 - Reviews: 459 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 6/4/2008
Mike Needs To Be Institutionalized by Chaotic Streams reviews
Mike takes advantage of the sunny week, and tries to convince Bella that they were meant be be together. Only, he goes to the extremes.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,401 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 8/16/2008 - Published: 8/1/2008 - Bella, Mike
The Moth and the Mystery by Rosalie McCarty reviews
Ever wonder what it would be like if the Cullens where the normal vampires we all knew before Twilight? Ravens and vampires and bats, oh my!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 50,391 - Reviews: 285 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 8/13/2008 - Published: 2/20/2008
High School Angst by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
For the sake of this one-shot Breaking Dawn never happen – not that I have anything against the book. My version of Bella’s first day in high school as a vampire. ONE-SHOT BXE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,557 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 291 - Follows: 64 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Impossible Miracle by Anime Wildfire reviews
This wasn’t happening, it wasn’t impossible. It can’t be. Vampires can’t have children. But it has happened, I was pregnant. It was really happening. My impossible miracle. Edward/Bella.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,358 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 1/23/2008
13 Things I've Never Done by Rosalie McCarty reviews
Sequel to How to Lose a Vampire in 10 Days. While playing a game the gang realizes that Edward and Bella have done hardly anything. So they are trying to expand their horizons by making them do thirteen things they've never done.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 37,261 - Reviews: 928 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 177 - Updated: 8/3/2008 - Published: 5/14/2008 - Complete
Karaoke Fun by liberal4peace reviews
Emmett is babysitting Bella. He gets bored and with the help of Bella and Alice he plans a little fun.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,221 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2008 - Complete
You May Now Kiss the Bride by vjgm reviews
This is my version of the wedding starring then minister, Emmett Cullen. With Emmett in charge, you know that humor will be involved. How does Emmett handle this important job? Will he behave? Or will Bella and Edward kill him? ONESHOT of SILLINESS.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,887 - Reviews: 613 - Favs: 1,251 - Follows: 197 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Emmett
The incredulous kiss by unconditionallyinlove reviews
B/E one-shot. Edward poses a question to Bella that sends her heart into overdrive. Loaded with fluff.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,036 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bella's Change by noddingnod reviews
Bella changes, but not as expected. Edward accidently bites her, and so on. Kinda stupid summary I know, but this is my first story, so please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,442 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/19/2008 - Published: 6/6/2008
Documentary by CharlotteCullen6201901 reviews
Bella is making a video documentary of her new life in Forks.What will she discover? What will happen? OOOHHHH! Please R&R. I'll update whenever possible! I'm having lots o' fun writing it! Almost as much fun as i hope you'll have reading it! Aurevior!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,997 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/18/2008 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Previous Engagements by Amy Lyn reviews
Edward's fiance from 1918 is back, all vampire, and ready for her long over due wedding. But what about Bella? Read it, love it, review it. That's the only way to find out!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 6,703 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 7/16/2008 - Published: 6/12/2008
You missed! by DelilahTCullen reviews
Jasper hears in on a conversation between Bella and Edward that confuses him. ONE-SHOT
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 399 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 15 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Complete
Pain by Sophia24 reviews
Bella is in pain and it's worse than Edward thinks! All human. Random one-shot i thought of when i was hyper
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 768 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/8/2008 - Complete
Against the Cullen's Moral Character by mcuobsessed reviews
What are some things that the Cullen characters wouldn't do? Read and find out :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/4/2008
I Love You by runaway xo reviews
Sequel to Thirteen Reasons Why. Bella recieves her chance to tell Edward the thirteen reasons why she loves him.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,075 - Reviews: 755 - Favs: 439 - Follows: 605 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 5/31/2008
Tube by Annilaia reviews
Bella Swan meets an attractive stranger while riding the tube home one day in London. She discovers that, it's not a dream, and they have a lot more in common, making them almost perfect for each other. AH, short story
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,580 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 1,138 - Follows: 395 - Updated: 6/15/2008 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
My Bella Always and Forever by nope7777 reviews
For Odd Fathers challenge. Charlie knows there's something up with the Cullen family, but he can't put his finger on it. For a man of little words, he sure does know how to confront a guy- well, when it's not a vampire intent on helping humans.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,904 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Complete
Graveyards and Letters by runaway xo reviews
Strolling the streets of Chicago, Edward requests to take Bella somewhere special. Her original temptation is altered as he pulls her into the local cemetery. Post-Eclipse. Two-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,226 - Reviews: 253 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 6/10/2008 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Complete
Mr Loser by blackxout reviews
Edward Cullen has always been the nerdy boy with over sized glasses. He's been in love with Bella Swan ever since he first laid eyes on her. When Alice decides to give him a makeover, everyone in school seems to notice him, but does Bella notice him? OOC
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,600 - Reviews: 1697 - Favs: 1,129 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 6/9/2008 - Published: 2/6/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I Hate Jacob Black by Alunamai reviews
Bella married Jake... but within a month he imprinted... she doesn't blame him... he disappears leaving both Bells and the imprint girl behind... Bella returns home and to Edward... what happens when both she and the imprint girl are pregnant... rated T
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,302 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/5/2008
Thirteen Reasons Why by runaway xo reviews
Edward proves his love to Bella by showing her thirteen reasons why he loves her. Takes place after Eclipse. Major Fluff. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 43,971 - Reviews: 1455 - Favs: 1,381 - Follows: 422 - Updated: 5/31/2008 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Complete
What Edward Cullen Will Never Do by nope7777 reviews
Bella wants to know what Edward can't do. But Edward can do everything, right? Maybe not... Read for more details! Fluff galore!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,577 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 5/30/2008 - Published: 3/10/2008 - Complete
They Would Never Say by Rosalie McCarty reviews
Things our Twilight characters would never say... ever.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 437 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/21/2008 - Complete
My Everlasting Love by runaway xo reviews
After Alice has a vision of Bella crying, Edward tries to discover the reason behind her shed tears and misty eyes. One-Shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,161 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 27 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Complete
How to Lose a Vampire in 10 Days by Rosalie McCarty reviews
Bella's assignment is to date a guy and do whatever it takes to make him dump her. The Cullen's have bet that Edward can't keep a girl for no more than 10days. With a job and Cullenfied bets on the line, falling in love isn't going to help.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 40,240 - Reviews: 724 - Favs: 448 - Follows: 252 - Updated: 5/14/2008 - Published: 2/15/2008 - Complete
Emmett's Question by edwardcullenissosexy reviews
Emmett cannot get a question off his mind. He HAS to ask it. One-shot. Random and funny. Like Emmett!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 951 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Complete
Sick by nope7777 reviews
Jake is sick. Jake gets Bella sick. Bella gets Edward sick and wins the contest. Wait, what? Edward's sick? Read to find out! Written for Musically Inclined's challenge. Enjoy! Two-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,720 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Complete
Emmett vs The Mower by Rosalie McCarty reviews
A silly one-shot. It's Emmett's turn to mow the grass... but who has the patience for that? Just silly good fun.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,123 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Complete
Attraction by Annilaia reviews
Bella tries to keep a bright outlook when she moves to Forks. Of course, after meeting Edward Masen everything just starts to look so much better, even tolerable. When you've got the sweetest boy standing in front of you things start to get easy... right?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 49,735 - Reviews: 1028 - Favs: 907 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 4/24/2008 - Published: 3/17/2007 - Complete
Toxic by Rosalie McCarty reviews
I finally feel at peace. Like I’m coming back together. More than that even. I was supposed to be here. I’m following my destiny. I don’t know what my fate is exactly, but I know one thing; All that’s happened to me in the past couple months was a sign.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 57,251 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 4/15/2008 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Complete
Ridiculous by InterruptedProgress reviews
Edward takes his overprotection to a new level, leaving Bella thoroughly annoyed. One-shot Fluff.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 422 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I know you love me by Tuggummi reviews
A thought strikes Bella while she is in the shower and she panics. one shot. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,166 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/14/2008 - Complete
The Broken CDs by vampirechick123 reviews
Bella breaks all of Edward's CDs...fluff and humor
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 922 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Victoria's Secret by unconditionallyinlove reviews
Ever wonder how Edward reacts to Bella in Victoria's Secret? A delicious, fluffy one-shot!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,370 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Complete
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Notebook reviews
Hi. This is a complete and total waste of time, I think. But Alice is making me do this. So, here I am. Writing about myself so I can find a guy who'll date me. I realize my life is pretty pathetic. --Bella" Rated T in case. AH. A little OOC. R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 6,468 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 8/8/2008
Cut reviews
I was in the shower, completely relaxed, when the bathroom door flew open. As I looked up, I was astonished. "Edward!" Random one-shot. Funny... At least to me. B&E, duh.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 379 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Complete
33 Reasons Why We Love 'em and Hate 'em reviews
Title says it all. Reasons why we love and hate Edward and Jacob.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,053 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 7/7/2008 - Edward, Jacob - Complete