The Dawn Is Breaking
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Joined 07-04-08, id: 1624529, Profile Updated: 05-14-10
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

Hi guys! I don't really have much to say except that I'm obsessed with TWILIGHT (Yay Edward!!), The Chasers' War on Everything (a TV show in Australia featuring a group of hilarious comedians who go out of their way to annoy people), and Harry Potter (although Twilight has kinda got me over HP now).

The Twilight Soundtrack/Movie was AWESOME!!

I've also realised one thing - If a human vegetarian became a vampire, then what type of blood would he/she drink? (This is what happens when you're bored and you're on a high...)

Also, special thanks to TheVampireWithTheGoldenEyes for coming up with this this title for me - The Dawn Is Breaking, Creator of Amazing FanFictions, Team Edward fan and Ruler of The Dawn is Breaking's Profile. AWESOME!! I LOVE IT!!

Also, I had realised alot of people had asked me what a Mary-Sue was. Here's an example to save me this exact same paragraph over and over again -

Sophie has always been a normal teenage girl until one day, when she realises that she can...well, I don't know...COMMAND COOKIES TO ATTACK HER ENEMIES! With her merry and loyal band of followers that were her only friends, she set off to find and destroy the evil king of Biscuitville. But her darkest secret? The Evil King is...her FATHER!! Dun dun DUN!! Plus, she had to join forces with the hunk-handsome and dashing (yet arrogant, because he had to have that one single flaw) Daniel, who hate each other instantly, but Sophie realises, after a nice long sexually-oriented dream, that she had feelings for him. In the end, they slaughtered the king (insert dramatic dialogue with a 'But I'm your father!' and a 'I don't HAVE a father!' bit), the kingdom is in peace again, Daniel and Sophie got together and they made little kids, and they lived happily ever after, 'cause as it turns out, the kids' favourite food was (you guessed it) COOKIES!!

Hope that helps!

Be prepared for a VERY long profile...

About Me -

Name: Nancy

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Taurus

Favorite sport: Badminton and Basketball

Favorite food: Chocolate :)

Hair: Black

Eyes: Brown

What I think of me: Ah...

What others think of me: What am I?! Telepathic?!

What I am to my to my parents: A sweet, smart girl who needs to get off the internet and exercise more

Favorite pairings: Edward/Bella, Jasper/Alice, Emmett/Rosalie, Carlisle/Esme, Jacob/Nessie...

My mood as I am writing this: Bored...

Behavior most of the time: Dunno; kinda tied between lazy, hyper and crazy

Talents: Piano, being lazy, being crazy, being annoying...

What I dont understand: Why most girls find shopping fun. I mean it's really BORING (well, for me it is...), and why Jacob Black would not leave Bella ALONE! She belongs to Edward! Get over it and imprint on someone else!

What I do understand: Why I rather be in a book shop than a clothing shop.

Favorite music artists: All-American Rejects, Boys Like Girls, Yiruma, the Killers, Richard Clayderman, Blue October, Paramore...

Things that annoy me: JACOB BLACK!! Mike Newton, people that lie for no particular reason, snobby people who think they know everything, that's all I can think of right now...

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever had random loud singing outbursts in public, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five some body and it has taken over 10 tries to actually slap their hand copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you sometimes seem to trip over thin air, put this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, put this in your profile.

If you have ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, put this in your profile.

Admitting you are weird is normal. Admitting you are normal is odd. Different is odd and different is not good. If you are weird and proud of it, put this in your profile.

If you are a proud stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, put this in your profile.

If your greatest wish is to be Bella Swan, put this in your profile.

If you think it would be hilarious to see Bella beat Emmett in an arm wrestling match, put this in your profile.

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer

you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If Orlando Bloom said to stop breathing, 99 percent of girls currently on the face of the Earth would be dead right now. Put this on your profile if you'd be the 1 percent still alive and laughing.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus put this on your profile. cough Jacob cough

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

80 of young teenage girls think Zac Efron is HOT, if your one of the 18 who shake their heads sadly and dismissivley, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do (which is ALOT), copy this in your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

No boy is worth crying for, and the one that is won't make you cry. If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

like chocolate. Cheetahs are pretty. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people PLEASE copy and paste this into your profile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward with your friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely gorgeous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when you threaten your friends with a free trip to Italy and a vampire mafia if they don't read Twilight. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

If whenever you see or hear the brand "Volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrollably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929,SweetNCrazieSugarmuffin,The Komodo Dragon Phoenix,Bust_A_Groover, Tecna, Triggonseed, The Only Innocent Writer Here-Yumi, EstellaB, NarnianMelody, tookieclothespen, bellabookworm9, GoodyGoody23, EdwardIsMyLover, FrevrnvrLasts, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull, or vice-versa, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile!

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

1F Y0U C4N UND3R574ND 7H15 M355463 C0PY 17 4ND P4573 17 1N70 Y0UR PR0F1L3.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you can no longer watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire because of the Twilight movie, copy this to your profile.

If you cried when Johnny died in The Outsiders, copy and paste this to your profile.

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you've ever wanted to give a movie or show character a flyingtacklehug, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone mentions Twilight, you can go on for hours talking about it, copy this to your profile.

If you think High School Musical is not a real musical, copy this into your profile.

If you ever watched a movie so many times you know all the words to it then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a MOVIE QUOTER, which means you go around quoting movies for fun, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen out there for you (his name DOESNT have to be Edward Cullen), then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever stopped in the middle of a busy street to look at something, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit over nothing at all, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever went to tuck your hair behind your ear, and end up accidentally poking yourself in the eye, copy this to your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy this to your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy this to your profile.

If you know life is good no matter what happens, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have do or has tried smoking pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who hasn', copy this to your profile

If you forgot your phone number when someone asked you for it, copy this to your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is the cutest boy on the planet copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

95 of teens would cry if they saw the Jonas Brothers at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Copy and paste this EVERYWHERE if you are in the 5 that would shout "Jump assholes, Fucking Jump already!"

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever ran up a down escalator copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile.

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your pro!

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, .missy.skye., BlissfulyShadowingEdwardCullen., Korie.Moore, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a slow runner...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, BlissfulyShadowingEdwardCullen, Korie.Moore, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have stared at your computer for a complete hour copying and pasting copy and paste its into your profile copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a pet copy and paste this on to your profile

If you can just never type fast enough copy and paste this onto your profile

If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tried to hi-five somebody and end up hitting them in the head, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If your so obsessed with Twilight, that whenever you hear thunder, you think it's vampires playing ball, copy this to your profile

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile.

If you think Mike should be run over by a bus copy and paste this into your profile

If you think that bus should also take out Eric copy and paste this into your profile

If you also think said bus should take out Jacob while it's at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile

If for all of DH you were wondering 'So where's Crookshanks...?', copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward, Bella, Alice, or any other twilight names, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're a klutz and proud of it, put this into your profile!

If you know at least five words to the song 'I Love Rock n' Roll', put this in your profile

If you have ever attacked someone with joy, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to slice out Jacob Black's organs, throw them into a fire, and do a native dance around the fire, for what he did in Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever wanted to be that little hyper pixie of Alice, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your proflie.

Chocolate chip cookies are yummy! If you agree, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever done anything incredibly stupid for no apparent reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you cried, screamed, or threw New Moon at the wall when Jane used her power on Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been bored out of your mind, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you've ever had an argument with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had a conversation with yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes spontaneously break into song, But my feelings for you last forever, because days come and go, copy this into your profile, dry your tears, it is time to let you go.

If when ever someone asks you your name, you have to think about it, copy this to your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you know what a lemon fly is(for those who dont, it is a mythicle lemon with wings. ha! now you know!!)

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If less than two days before this was posted, your profile was blank, copy this to your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile (mabye...)

If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight is stupid, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever had an unhealthy obsession with any -or all- of the Cullens and you don’t want to admit it even though you know admitting a problem is the first step to solving it but frankly you dont want the problem to be solved, copy this onto your profile

If you love Edward Cullen, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now ever your parents are afraid of you because of the results, copy this onto your profile

If you are planning on mobbing Stephenie Meyer’s publisher because you want Breaking Dawn NOW, copy this onto your profile and get your pitchforks

If you are SICK of all of the unoriganal Twilight fanfictions that only consist of Bella getting bitten by another vampire, Edward never coming back, and chalkfull of uncalled-for Bella-Edward Emoness, and are now on your knees for one origanal fanfiction, Copy this onto your fanfiction and add your name: MidnightWalker/EdwardandBellaTruLove4Ever, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you've ever tried to scry to see if there is a real life version of Edward Cullen out there, copy this into your profile.

If you had a choice between being human or being a vampire, and would choose vampire, copy this into your profile.

If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile.

If you're stalking a fictional character copy this to your profile.

If you have AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder, then copy this down.

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read New Moon and wanted to punch Jacob Black, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped on a person, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your bio.

Too many people smoke marijuana. If you don't, copy this into your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile. :D

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted out random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have sudden mood changes out of nowhere copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a clutz like me, copy and past this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you cried when Fred Weasley died ((in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows)), and not afraid to admit it, copy, paste this on your profile, and add your name to the list: Littlewhisker, Patronus Charm, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Littlewhisker, Patronus Charm, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you think Bellatrix is creepy and should have been killed by Neville (not that there's anything wrong with Molly Weasly kicking her but) copy and paste thins in to your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

If you are Harry Potter obsessed, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

If you wish you were the creator of Harry Potter, copy this into your profile.

If you you think Edward is freaken HOT copy + paste this into your profile

If you wish that your name was as interesting as Scorpius Malfoy, Sirius Black, Gellert Grindelwald, Lavender Brown, Ginevra Weasley, Albus Severus Potter or anything like Nymphadora, Andromeda, Narcissa or Bellatrix, copy this into your profile.

If you think Edward is perfect for Bella, paste this onto your profile

If you hate Mike and you're not afraid to say it, paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica can be annoying paste this into your profile

If you think Jessica and Mike belong together because they're both annoying and stupid, paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you think rap is the most God-awfulest thing to ever be called "music," and that rappers are wanna-be's who are being paid to make fools out of themselves and can't even sing, copy and paste this into your profile.--And always remember. Crap can't be spelled without first spelling rap.

If you aren't one of those wanna be pop stars that shop at name brand stores, copy this to your profile!

If you are a loner/goth/emo/freak/punk/weird person, then copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled out a random food item during class or just randomly, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck fanfiction doesn't have colour for profiles, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't wait for Breaking Dawn to come out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Jacob Black, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are frequently told to be quiet/shut the hell up, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't wait for Breaking Dawn to come out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear the voices of characters in your head, put this onto your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, ect. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a wall because you were looking sideways at a friend, copy this into your profile

If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, and i mean CONSTANTLY, copy this into your profile

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you jump up and down on th elevator, copy and paste this to your profile (were else are you suppose to jump on the elevator?)

If you are a Klutz, copy and paste this to ur profile!(Hello i trip ovr nothing on a regular basis, i think that is called a klutz!)

If you complian that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., WiseOne27,LoveTheSun, animaluver101, The Dawn Is Breaking

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you are good at annoying people (especially on loooooong car journeys) copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you think that Global Warming is real, and that it should be dealt with, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love reading really long books just for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves" song copy this into your profile!

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still), MiracleJade (Legolas from Lord of the Rings, Murtagh from Eragon movie (sucked) and Kisten from Kim Harrison books), xXxNyte-chanxXx (Edward Cullen-Twilight duh...Ian MacPhie-Love at Skate series), The Dawn Is Breaking (Edward Cullen -squee-, Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre))

If you ever were told to go somewhere and you forgot why and you had to go back to find out copy this into your profile!

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

We now have the technology to copy human skin cells to test on for all cosmetics and beauty supplies. If you are against any type of animal testing, post this on your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have no willpower post this onto your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

If you are always listening 2 ur ipod (or anthing musical), copy & paste this 2 ur profile!

If you can't keep from laughing out loud while reading profiles, copy and past this to your profile

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

I never repeat myself.

If you repeat yourself and you're proud of it, copy and paste this on your profile!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to Google or YouTube just after you've thought of it, copy and paste this to your profile

If you think fanfiction contributes to society and people ought to get placed in Guiness books for it, copy and paste this to your profile

If your definition of happiness is jumping up and down your bed (and then laughing your head off when you fall and bump your head), copy and paste this to our profile

If you think all the cool people are the ones who have 4-7 imaginary friends, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have tests all week long but are looking around people's profiles and laughing at random things, copy and paste this to your profile

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile.

A Minnesota couple decided to vacation to Florida during the winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday. His wife would fly down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: 16 May 2003
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is not as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is hot down here!

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him 5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her 50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him 5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde 50.00

The blonde put the 50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him 5.

Here's a joke...

there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...

the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...

he gets big muscles and swims across...

but almost dies 5 times...

the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...

he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...

but he almost dies 3 times...

the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...

he turns into a woman...

walks 4 yards...

and crosses the bridge

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

now for semoehtnig itnresitng...

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile.

You know you live in 2008 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

LES is Love Edward Syndrome

OCD is Obsessive Cullen Disorder

WBWAVS is Wishing Bella Was A Vampire Syndrome

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome

Jacob needs to jump off a cliff for non-recreational purposes

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916

Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843

Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901

Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916

Edward Cullen: Sexier Than You since 1901

Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

And now for Something Sweet -

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No.

Girl: Choose—me or your life?

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and boy runs after and says..

The reason you don't cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason why I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life


Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say?

My mum; she was pestering me to practise the piano.

Where are you?


Look up, now look back. What did you see?

The ceiling.

What's the last thing you ate?

Dark Chocolate (mmm...chocolate)

What's your personality like?

...I don't know. Probably a bookworm and obsessed with Twilight. Ask my friends.

Who do you have a crush on?

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen (swoon)

What was the last thing you thought?

Edward Anthony Masen Cullen (double swoon)

You have a million dollars. What do you do?

Run around the house acting all crazy and hyper. Then probably spend on the home loan and the rest on a holiday or something...

What are you eating/drinking RIGHT NOW?


What are you thinking RIGHT NOW?

That I was eating nothing...

What's it like being you?


What are your thoughts on writing?

Pretty cool so long as I don't have to due it in to a teacher or something...

How tall are you?

167 cm (or 5 foot 4 - yes, I don't live in the USA)

What book are you currently reading?

Rereading The Host...

What music are you listening to?

The Last Song by the All-American Rejects

What was the last website you visited before fan fiction?

TwilightAUSTRALIA (yes, I'm from Australia)

What was the last thing you cooked?

Does toast count?

What color are the walls of the room you are in?


Do you know who the governor of your state is?

We don't have governors here...

How many different programs are open on your computer right now?


Have you ever been water-skiing?

What is the weather like?

Absolutely FREEZING!!

Are you going an vacation this summer and where?

Not quite sure...such a long way away :(

Anything else?

Jacob Black sucks, Jacob Black sucks, Edward is awesome, Jacob Black sucks...

Last beverage → Milk

Last phone call → my dad

Last song you listened to → I Caught Myself - Paramore

Last time you cried→ A couple of months ago

Last text message → Where r u?!

Dated someone twice → No

Been cheated on → No

Kissed someone & regretted it → nope

Lost someone special→ Yeah. .

Blue, pink, lavender

Made a new friend → Yes

Fallen out of love → No...

Laughed until you cried → Yes

Met someone who changed your life → Yeah

Found out who your true friends were → I always have known that

Have you kissed anyone on your friend's list → no

How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → all

How many kids do you want to have → one or two

Do you have any pets → A chihuahua and three fishes

Do you want to change your name → Hell no

What did you do for your last birthday → went to a restaurant

What time did you wake up today → 8:30 am

What were you doing at midnight last night → Sleeping

Name something you CANNOT wait for→ finding true love...and uni...and having my ideal job

Last time you saw your father→ Yesterday afternoon

What's one thing you wish you could change→ to many to count

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yes

What's getting on your nerves right now → Nothing now...HOLIDAYS = RELAXATION

Most visited web page → Fanfiction...

Zodiac sign → Taurus

Elementary/middle/high school → Not telling

Hair color → Black

Long or short → Chest length, although I might be cutting it

Are you a freak→ Maybe...

Height → 5'5 (or 167 cm)

What do you like about yourself → The fact that I like to laugh :)

Piercings → Nope

Tattoos → Nope

Righty or lefty → Righty.

First surgery → None

First piercing → None as well

First best friend → Year 1

First sport you joined → Netball

First pet→ A guinea pig when I was died a few hours after we bought it...

First vacation → China when I was two

First concert → Andre Rieu...

First crush→ Not telling :)

Eating → Nothing.

Drinking → Nothing.

I'm about to → eat

Waiting → to eat

Want kids? Yes.

Want to get married? Yes

Careers in mind? Medical researcher...preferably in genetics or diseases...

Lips or eyes → Eyes.

Hugs or kisses → Kisses

Shorter or taller → Taller.

Older or Younger→ Older.

Romantic or spontaneous → Both.

Sensitive or loud → Both.

Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.

Trouble-maker or hesitant → A bit of both

Kissed a stranger → no

Lost glasses/contacts → nope

Ran away from home → No.

Broken someone's heart → no

Been arrested → No.

Turned someone down → No

Cried when someone died → Yes. .

Liked a guy/girl friend → Not yet

Yourself → Sometimes

Love at first sight → Yes.

Heaven → I believe heaven is what u make it

Santa Claus → Once about a time

Kiss on the first date → Depends.

Angels → Yes.

Is there one person you want to be with right now → Yes.

Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time → no

Do you believe in God? → Yes

Posting this as 100 Truths? → Yes.

RULES: (for another iPod shuffle thing)

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
5. Put this in your profile.

2.What is the first thing you say in the morning?
Flightless Bird, American Mouth - Iron and Wine (Why would I even say that?)

3. Your teacher is ...
Maybe - Yiruma (Huh? Really?)

4. What's written on your classroom's blackboard?
Four Seasons - Summer - Adagio - Antonio Vivaldi (Maybe Music Class...Except I don't do Music anymore...)

5. If you ever got a tattoo what would it say?
Do You - Yiruma (Okay then...As if I'm going to get a tattoo...)

6. How would you describe your next door neighbours?
Stab My Back - All-American Rejects (WAH?!)

7. What would your Best Friend say about you?
You Found Me - The Fray (Awww...Maybe not...)

8. How do you feel right now?
Decode - Paramore (If only...I would be with Edward...)

9. What's on your bedside table right now?
Iris - Goo Goo Dolls (Ummm...right then...)

10. What did you do when you woke up this morning?
Minute Waltz - Chopin (Yeah, I wish I did play this on the piano...)

11. When you open your wardobe you see...
Ballade Pour Adeline - Richard Clayderman (Um, maybe not...)

12. What did you say after you last attended a concert?
Tremble For My Beloved - Collective Soul (Er, no...)

13. If you had to write a fanfic write now, what would it be called?
Elite Syncopations - Scott Joplin (Hmmm...Interesting Title...)

14. A song you would sing at your school's talent show?
Hungarian Dance No.5 - Brahms (Maybe on the piano...If I could even play that song...)

15. Your life's theme song?
My Paper Heart - All-American Rejects (Okay...that's a maybe...)

16. How would you describe what you are doing this moment?
Marriage D'Amour - Richard Clayderman (Well...I WAS playing this song an hour ago...)

17. If you had to go and jump of a building, what would your last words be?
Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park (Um...right then..)

18.Your motto is...:
Spotlight - Mutemath (Yeah! You're one of us!! MWAHAHAHAAA!!)

19. If you could by anything in this world you'd buy...
Romeo and Juliet Love Theme (A Time For Us) - Nino Rota (Awww...That's so sweet...)

20. What did you dream about tonight?
Turkish March - Mozart (Hehe, yeah...)

GASP! More!!

Instructions: Put your ipod or music player on shuffle and the song that pops is the answer to each question.

1. How does the world see you?

Jerk It Out - The Caesars (Hey...that DOES make sense...)

2. Will you have a happy life?

Elite Syncopations - Scott Joplin (Well, it's a pretty catchy and cheerful song...I'll take that as a yes...)

3. What do people really think of you?

When You Were Young - The Killers (Okay, so they think of me as a naive girl in love...right-o then...)

4. Do people secretly lust after you?

Smile Like You Mean It - The Killers (Er...what?)

5. How can you make others happy?

Fantasie Impromptu Op. 66 in C minor - Chopin (Oh, I get it...I had to play this song on the piano to make people happy!! -Sigh- If only I could play this song...)

6. How can you make yourself happy?

Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy - Tchaikovsky (

7. What should you do with your life?

Scar - Missy Higgins (Ah...okay then...Be different...that's sounds okay...)

8. Will you ever have children?

Lullabye for a Stormy Night - Vienna Teng (Well, the song did imply that I'll have children...)

9. What is some good advice for you?

All I Ever Wanted - Jim Brickman (Erm...great advice...Um...)

10. What do you think your current theme song is?

River Flows In You - Yiruma (Awww...I LOVE IT!!)

11. What does everyone else think your current theme song is?

The Last Song - All-American Rejects (Wow...Really?)

12. What song will play at your funeral?

I Caught Myself - Paramore (Cool! Although I think the previous song was a bit better suited...)

13. What type of men/women do you like?

Dance Inside - All-American Rejects (Okay then...Maybe not THAT far...)

14. What is your day going to be like?

Lake Erie Rainfall - Jim Brickman (Er, judging by the tone of the song...I would say bittersweet...Hey! That's pretty accurate!)

15. Why are you here?

Dirty Little Secret - All-American Rejects (BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!! LOL!!)

16. What will people remember you for?

Move Along - All-American Rejects (Hehe, I'm the one saying that...)

17. What song will you get stuck in your head tomorrow?

Four Seasons - Summer, Allegro non molto - Antonio Vivaldi ( DOES make IS summer...)

18. Why are there people outside waiting to take you away?

Hysteria - Muse (Ok-ay then...So it's most likely because I'm a stalker...right...)

19. What will this year be all about?

Maybe - Yiruma (So it's going to be an alternation between happy and sad times...Hmmm...Probably...)

20. If you reached the top of Mount Everest, you would scream:

Moonlight Sonata 1st Mvt - Beethoven (Wait, after all that hard work, I'm going to SING that song?! WHAT?!)

21. The next time you stand up in front of a group of people, you'll say:

Emergency - Paramore (Hey...that kinda makes a way...)

22. Your message to the world:

Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park (Hmmm...Interesting...)

23. Your deepest secret:

Think of Me (Phantom of the Opera)- Andrew Webber (Wait...I have a secret boyfriend? Okay then...)

24. Your innermost desire:

Misery Business - Paramore (Ha! Lol...Yeah, right...)

25. Your oldest memory makes you think:

My Paper Heart - All-American Rejects (Um...I made paper hearts? Right-o...)

26. Somewhere in your wedding vows, you'll include:

Canon in D - Johann Pachelbel (YES!! I'm SO walking down the aisle in that...)

27. When you wake up in the morning, you mutter:

Full Moon - Black Ghosts (Cool...That perfectly describes me in a way...)

28. Right now, your feelings are:

Turkish March - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Um...Jumpy? Yeah...)

29. The day you fall in love will be the day that:

Four Seasons - Winter 1st Mvt - Antonio Vivaldi (So it'll be near the start of winter...okay then...)

30. You scream during sex:

Time Stands Still - All-American Rejects (Huh? That didn't really make sense...)

31. You’d describe you best friend as:

Moonlight - Yiruma (Hmmm...maybe...)

32. Your friends describe you as:

Hungarian Rhapsody No.2 in C-sharp Minor - Franz Liszt (So I'm complicated, dramatic and both loud and soft...Yep! That's me!)

33. In an elevator you are most likely to yell:

La Valse d'Amelie (Accordion Version) - Yann Tiersen (Ahahahaaa...Yeah, right...)

34. Your philosophy in life is:

Tremble for My Beloved - Collective Soul (Hmmm...Kinda...)

35. Your farewell message to the readers of this:

Spotlight - Mutemath (Yep - You're one of us!!)

I HAD TO ADD THIS, It's so funny:

1. Put your iPod on shuffle. (Or iTunes in my case.) (Or windows media player for those who have not got into the iPod world yet ;))
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
4. Tag friends who might enjoy doing the meme as well as the person you got the meme from.


'Turkish March' by Mozart (Wow...Random much...)


'Smile Like You Mean It' by The Killers (Hey...I hide my own feelings...Nice...)


'Romeo And Juliet Love Theme' - Nino Rota (I'm guessing romantic...Awww...)


'La Valse d'Amelie' (Piano Version) by Yann Tiersen (Huh?)


'Lullabye For A Stormy Night' by Vienna Teng (Um...Right then...)


'Time Is Running Out' by Muse (Okay, I'm a procrasinator, judging by the title of the song...True...)


'Tremble For My Beloved' by Collective Soul (So...What DO I think about often then?)

WHAT IS 2+2?

'William Tell Overture' byWagner (Definitely failing my Maths Test then...)


'Four Seasons - Spring 2nd Mvt' by Vivaldi (Wait, what?)


'Somebody Told Me' by The Killers (Um...Okay then...)


'Hysteria' by Muse (Wow...What an interesting life story...)


'The Entertainer' by Scott Joplin (Ahahaha...LOL!!)


'All I Ever Wanted' by Jim Brickman (Awww...So sweet and so fitting...-sigh-)


'Emergency' by Paramore (Yeah, I'm a bit of problem...)


'La Valse d'Amelie' (Accordian Version) by Yann Tiersen (Hey...That's a great song to dance to!)


'Four Seasons - Autumn 2nd Mvt' by Vivaldi (All right then...It's an okay tune...)


'Read My Mind' by The Killers (If only I could read minds...)


'Go All The Way (Into the Twilight)' by Perry Farrell (Um...)


'Love Me' by Yiruma (Er, I'm not gay...)


'Time Stand Still' by The All-American Rejects (-Shrugs- Yeah, probably...)


'Minute Waltz' by Chopin (Lol! Death by dancing! LOL!)


'Dance Macarbe' by Saint-Saens (Ah...What?)


'Spotlight' by Mutemath (And how does that make me laugh?)


'River Flows In You' by Yiruma (Well, the song did make me cry the first time...)


'Canon in D (Piano Version)' by Pachelbel (I would like to walk down the aisle in this song...So yes...)


'Butterflies and Hurricanes' by Muse (Ahaha...So true about the hurricanes...Not the butterflies though...)


'Misery Business' by Paramore (Um...What?)


'Comptine d'un Autre Ete' by Yann Tiersen (Say what?)


'Leave Out All The Rest' by Linkin Park (Awww...I makes sense...In a way...)


'Eyes on Fire' by Blue Foundation (Okay then...)

Yay! Another Survey!!


Color- Blue

Words- Guacamole, escargot and a couple of others that sound funny

Song- Supermassive Black Hole by Muse

Hobbies- Writing, reading, listening to music, playing my piano, Internet, chess, badminton

Subject- Science

Store- Borders!!


Last time you cried- This morning when I was chopping onions :)

Do you use sarcasm a lot- yep. It's my favourite language

Did you ever go bungee jumping- Not yet :)

First thing you notice about people- Their face _

pink or red- Pink

What are you wearing- Jeans and black t-shirt

What are you listening to right now- Decode by Paramore

If you were a crayon what color would you be- Blue

Last thing you ate- Carrot

Last person you talked to on the phone- My dad. I was wishing him a happy new year

Polka dots or stripes- Stripes

When I was little I...- was bad at colouring in

1. Find a globe.

Spin it. What does it say? Tanzania...

2. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18, word 6. What does it say? C (From The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays by Oscar Wilde - I'm too lazy to get The Host)

3. What can you hear right now? My mum making dinner.

4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.

Me: Hi Bobo (my chihuahua).

Bobo: (sniffs at my foot)

Me: ...Um, okay then...

5. Turn on T.V. What show is on? The news...

6. Type your name with your elbow. tyhe dfaswenmjh iosd brtersaklijnmgh

7. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes.What's the first thing you see? My school bag.

8. If you could be anybody from Twilight, who would you be? Isabella Marie Swan (Edward...sigh)

9. What happened last time you were typing on this computer? I was talking to a friend on MSN...

10. Find the third letter of all your answers. Underline them. What do they spell? nrmhehsaa (okay then...)

Have you ever:

( ) smoked a cigarette (Nope, not for me.)

( ) smoked a cigar (If I've never smoked a cigarette, it stands to reason that I wouldn't have smoked a cigar.)

( ) crashed a friend's car (No, I'm not old enough to drive yet.)

( ) stolen a car (Ask me again the day after my first drive.)

( ) been in love (Still innocent.)

( ) been dumped (See above.)

( ) dumped someone (What is it with the love questions?)

( ) shoplifted (Not that stupid.)

( ) been fired (No one's gotten the opportunity yet.)

(x) been in a fist fight (Only once, and that ended badly...for me...)

( ) snuck out of your parent's house (I've never considered it... seriously, anyway.)

(x) had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back (Does Edward Cullen count?)

( ) been arrested (No, I am not a criminal, thank you very much!)

(x) lied to a friend (Yeah, but it wasn't serious...)

( ) had a crush on a teacher (Ew ew EW!!)

( ) skipped school (Not me - I'm a good student _-)

( ) seen someone die (I know of a few people who've died, but I've never seen it.)

( ) been to Canada (I probably will one day.)

( ) been to Mexico (Ditto.)

(x) been on a plane (A few times, but then who hasn't?)

( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire (Now, who in their right mind would do that?!)

(x) eaten Sushi (I LOVE Sushi!!)

( ) been snowboarding (It doesn't snow in Australia.)

( ) been moshing at a concert (Nope, never.)

(x) taken painkillers (Does Panadol count?)

(x) love someone or miss someone right now (My dad)

( ) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by (I've watched clouds go by, but the place never seems to be very convenient for laying on my back.)

( ) made a snow angel (What did I say about snow and Australia?)

(x) had a tea party (When I was little...)

(x) flown a kite (-Sigh- Good times...)

(x) gone puddle jumping (Once, but Mum wouldn't let me...)

(x) played dress up (Only when I took my mum's high heels and walked around in them...-Shudder-)

(x) jumped into a pile of leaves (Fun fun FUN!!)

(x) cheated while playing a game (Hell YEAH!!)

(x) been lonely (Who hasn't? I rather enjoy it, actually.)

(x) fallen asleep at work/school (Hey! I had a bad night!)

( ) used a fake id (ARGH! What is it with these criminal questions?!)

(x) watched the sun set (Pretty...)

( ) felt an earthquake (Haven't had that particular misfortune yet.)

(x) touched a snake (Geez, it wasn't that bad...)

(x) slept beneath the stars (we all sleep beneath the stars. True, there may be stuff between us and them, like roofs and the like...)

(x) been tickled (Bad...I'm ticklish...)

(x) read an entire authors profile (Some of them are actually pretty good. Of course, this isn't one of them.)

(x) been robbed (When I was nine, someone robbed my dad's shop...)

(x) petted a reindeer/goat (Even better - I FED a goat!)

(x) won a contest (A couple - I totally forgotten about them, though...)

( ) run a red light (OBJECTION! The prosecution is making far-fetched and unwarranted claims!)

( ) been suspended from school (Nah, not that bad...)

( ) caught a butterfly (Nope...)

(x) laughed so hard you cried (Blame the Chasers...)

( ) had someone moon/flash you (Bad... mental... images...)

( ) cheated on a test (Nope, all free!)

() had a Britney Spears CD (Ew ew ew ew ew ew...)

(x) forgotten someone's name (Plenty of times...)

( ) French braided someones hair (I've BRAIDED someone's hair...)

( ) gone skinny dipping in a pool (-Shudder-)

( ) put a hamster down someone else's top (Remind me to do that sometime.)

(x) given up on religion as other people's problem (Was a Christian for two years...Then I gave up...)

Interesting and insane laws:

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine. (Hmm... I'm not that sure all of the suicide terrorists will be scared off by that.)

It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants. (What... the...)

It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Whoever passed this law was obviously half-asleep.)

It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight. (Lol...)

It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock. (Oh great. Looks like we'll have to wait an extra hour to have lunch then.)

It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it. (In that case most of the world should be locked up in prison.)

It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire. (I'm sure we'll all be thinking of our stomachs when the building's on fire.)

It is illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle. (Excluding all else, who'd want to have sex on a parked motorcycle?)

It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday. (Makes sense if you think about it, but on first impression...)

It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns. (This might be better off in the "Only in America" section.)

It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool. (A pity. That's a novelty I'd pay money to see.)

It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. (Strange, but not illogical until you take into account that there is no coastline at all in the state in which this is a law...)

It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep. (AHH! HELP! FIRE!)

The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (Whoever came up with this? We should give him a Nobel Prize for such a masterful logical conclusion.)

Mathematical proof at last of the Grand Theory of the Evilness of Girls:

girls = time x money (Girls are time and money)

BUT time = money (Time is money)

THEREFORE girls = money squared

BUT money = square root of evil (Money is the root of all evil)

THEREFORE girls = square root of evil squared

THEREFORE girls = evil

A poem I am passing on about child abuse, I hope you pass it on too.

My name is Tiffany, I am three, My eyes are swollen, I cannot see,

I must be stupid, I must be bad, What else could have made, My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better, I wish I weren’t ugly, Then maybe my mommy, Would still want to hug me,

I can’t do a wrong, I can’t speak at all, Or else im locked up, All day long,

When im awake im all alone, The house is dark, My folks aren’t home, When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll just get, One whipping tonight, I just heard a car,

My daddy is back, From Charlie’s bar, I hear him curse, My name is called,

I press myself, Against the wall, I try to hide, From his evil eyes,

I’m so afraid now, I’m starting to cry, He finds me weeping, Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault, He suffers at work, He slaps and hits me, And yells at me more,

I finally get free, And run to the door, He’s already locked it, And I start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me, Against the hard wall, I fall to the floor, With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues, With more bad words spoken, "I’m sorry!", I scream, But its now much to late,

His face has been twisted, Into a unimaginable shape, The hurt and the pain, Again and again,

O please God, have mercy! O please let it end! And he finally stops, and heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless, Sprawled on the floor, My name is tiffany, I am three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me,

And you can help to stop this for others.

And if you read this and don’t pass it on

I pray for your forgiveness because you would have to be

One heartless person to not be effected

By this poem and because you are effected,

Do something about it! So all I ask you to do

Is pass this on! If you are against child abuse.

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore. (Does Edward Cullen count?)
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (I wish...)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos. (God I'm sick of all that crap about having a pet koala...)
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON"T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

A True Boyfriend =

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking

303 Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts

1. I will not poke Hufflepuff’s with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colours indicate that they are “covered in bees”.

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”

4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch’s office is not appropriate.

6. I will not go to class skyclad.

7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

8. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.

9. I will stop referring to showering as “giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful”.

10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. “Polishing my wand” in the common room is not.

11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

14. I will not start every potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

15. “Liften Separatis Crotchum” is not a real spell.

16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.

17. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.

18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as “bookends”.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as “bookends”.

20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.

21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.

25. Tricking the school house elf into stripping does not mean they are now mine even if I yell “Owned!”

26. I am not a sloth Animagus.

27. I am not a tribble Aimagus.

28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.

29. I do not weigh the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.

32. I will not lick Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. The Ravenclaws are not “Mentals in training”.

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazghul is coincidental.

36. I will not change the password to the prefect’s bath to “Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty”.

37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as “Admiral Naismith”.

39. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

42. “42″ is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.’s.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not teach the first-years to sing “A Wizard’s Staff Has A Knob On The End”.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. I will not go to meals dressed as Choda Boy.

52. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

53. I will not draw an “H” on Percy Weasley’s forehead.

54. My name is not Captain Subtext.

55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients and I will not resell their products as “Veela Pheremones”.

56. I will not refer to Kingsley Shacklebolt as a “Big Black Sex Auror”.

57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.

58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.

59. I am not the Defence Against the Boring Classes Professor.

60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.

61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.

62. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labelled “Firewhiskey”.

63. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

65. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

66. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape’s personal postbox.

67. I will stop referring to Hufflepuff’s as “cannon fodder”.

68. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

70. Novelty or holiday themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

71. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.

72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.

73. I should not refer to DADA professors as “canaries in the coal mine”.

74. I will not say the phrase “Dude, get a life.” to Lord Voldemort.

75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

76. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

77. I will not refer to the Accio charm as “The Force”.

78. Albus Dumbledore’s proper title is “Headmaster”, not “My Liege”.

79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.

80. I will not use Slytherin first years as Christmas decorations.

81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

82. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling “It Does DEATH!!” may be correct but it is not the manner in which one should answer.

83. I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

85. Ravenclaw’s do not find a sign saying “The library is closed for and indefinite time period” amusing in any sense.

86. I will not attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.

87. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

90. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.

92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my
hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.

93. I am not a member of the Spanish Inquisition.

94. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

95. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what happens.

97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

98. “OMGWTF” is not a spell.

99. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.

100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.

102. I will not cast the occasional Obliviate spell on Dumbledore, even if it would be amusing.

103. I am not allowed to give the Gryffindors Pixie Stix.

104. I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on who will come out alive.

105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.

106. I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

107. I will not sing The Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch matches.

108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in the common room.

110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.

111. I will not yell “Believe it… or not!” after any of Dumbledore’s speeches.

112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

113. My name is not “The Dark Lord Happy-Pants” and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.

114. There is no such thing as the Chamber of Double Secret Probation.

115. I will not attempt to magically animate my marshmallow Peeps.

116. I will never ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling.

117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.

119. I will not charm the suits of armour to do a rendition of “Knights of the Round Table” for the Christmas feast.

120. I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”.

121. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sound with my wand.

122. “Draco Malfoy Takes it Up The Arse” is not an acceptable Quidditch chant.

123. I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween.

124. I will not wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.

125. I am not allowed to re-enact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor.

126. I am not allowed to declare an official Hug A Slytherin Day.

127. I am not allowed to introduce myself to the first years as Tim the Enchanter.

128. I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance into any classroom.

129. I will not try and start Naked Thursdays in the Common Room.

130. It is not necessary for me to yell “BAMF!” every time I Apparate.

131. I will not steal Gryffindor’s sword from Dumbledore’s office and use it to patrol the hallways.

132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.

133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.

134. I will not teach the first years to play “The Penis Game” in the Great Hall during dinner.

135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.

136. I will not organize a Hogwarts Fight Club.

137. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

139. I will not dress up in a Dementor suit and use a Dustbuster on Harry’s lips to get him to do what I want.

140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.

141. I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

142. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice.

143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

144. The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife.

145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.

146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

147. I will not hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout “I have the power!”

148. I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.

149. I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell “Ni” from various directions.

150. Getting everyone in the Great Hall to do the Time Warp will not earn me any house points.

151. I will not teach the front doors to recognise Filch and not let him in.

152. I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.

153. I am not allowed to tell first years that there is a playground in the forbidden forest.

154. Giving Professor Snape a ton tongue toffee is unacceptable.

155. Singing ‘pop goes the weasel’ when Professor Dumbledore is giving a speech is not permitted.

156. I will not introduce Slytherins to ‘my pet dog Fluffy,’ no matter how tempting it is.

157. Shouting ‘How COULD you betray me like that?’ whenever Snape removes house points is forbidden.

158. I will not steal veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teacher’s morning tea.

159. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his ‘happy place’

160. I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is ‘Petrificus Totalus’ and must be said with their wands pointed at themselves.

161. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that my teacup says she’s lying.

162. I am not allowed to dress up like Neville’s grandmother when going to a Halloween party in Snape’s dungeon.

163. The forbidden forest is forbidden because it contains werewolves and acromantula, not because there is a secret cave with the answers to every test, and I should refrain from telling the first years that there is.

164. A bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.

165. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

166. I will not shave Mrs. Norris

167. The house elves are not there to do my homework

168. There is no bring a muggle to school day

169. I must stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student

170. I must not throw Mrs Norris out windows

171. Telling Draco Malfoy to 'Make like a ferret and bounce' is always a bad idea.

172. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

173. I must not throw Hermione’s Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom.

174. I must not leave shampoo on Professor Snape’s desk with directions on how to use it.

175. I will not tell first years that the best way to study is to stay up all night balancing your textbook on your head, as gravity will cause the information to sink through the skull and into the brain.

176. I will not take a hippogriff to the Summer Olympics to get an unfair advantage at the Equestrian competitions

177. I will not use magic to change test questions into those I can answer

178. The proper way to report to my Teacher is “Yes, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!”

179. A hug is not all Snape needs

180. When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”

181. I will not tell Snape he is emo/goth just because he likes wearing black.

182. Harry Potter is not my 'Protection Shield' to carry around to ward off evil.

183. I will not introduce Peeves to IM.

184. I will not introduce Snape to IM.

185. I will not tell McGonagall that she is bad luck because she can turn into a cat.

186. I will not introduce Peeves to a T.V.

187. I will not tell Filch that he needs to bathe once in a while.

188. I won't sign my homework as 'Snaperdoodle'

189. When answering questions in Snape's class, I won't finish my sentences saying: 'dear Snaperdoodle'.

190. I will not hand out slips of papers asking students to answer the following question: Do you think Snape is evil?

191. I will not make a 'Too sexy for my shirt' slideshow full of Snape pictures and show it during all of my classes.

192. I will not tell the first years, who are waiting to be sorted, that in order to be sorted, you must confess your deepest secrets aloud while wearing the hat.

193. The "I Hate Snape" Club is not a valid after-class activity.

194. Making Harry Potter action figures without his permission is wrong.

195. I will not tell Grawp that "Hermy" will give him a kiss if he eats certain
members of the faculty

196. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "my little pony."

197. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

198. I will not attempt to set up a satellite dish on the Astronomy Tower

199. There is no Interpretive Dance course offered at Hogwarts, and I should stop
signing up for it every year.

200. Yes, the Great Hall is extremely large, but Quidditch is an outside sport.

201. I will not demonstrate how to juggle using two Bludgers and the Snitch

202. I will not enter the great Hall running and yelling “We’re gonna Die” each time Snape comes to a meal.

203. I will not make farm animal noises in the back of Care for Magical creatures

204. I will not tell first years that divination is their 5th sense

205. Looking after a virtual pet is not a way to gain extra marks in care for magical creatures.

206. In the annual battle between death eaters and Hogwarts I will not sing “99 death eaters alive in the war, 99 death eaters alive. You shoot a spell they hit the ground. 98 deaths eaters alive in the war” as we fight.

207. Harry does not wish to wear a tutu to lunch and I should not make him.

208. I will not put black circles over Harry’s lenses and tell him he has gone blind. No matter how funny it could get.

209. I will not sing “ebony and Ivory” whenever I see Dean and Seamus together.

210. I will not tell first years Fang is a hell hound.

211. I will not post notices in common rooms saying that tomorrow is a theme day,
wear a costume. Even if it may be vegetable day.

212. “Another one bites the dust” is not a song to sing during quidditch matches.

213. The first few lines of Mama by MCR is not the best song to be singing during first year sorting,

214. I will not tell students singing the fat Albert theme song is a way to gain extra points on potions

215. I will not laugh at Sirius if he changes his middle name to 'Lee'.

216. I will not laugh at Lupin’s 'time of the month'.

217. I will not offer Crabbe and Goyle a cupcake with Veritiserium.

218. I will not make fun of Harry and his 'Potter Senses Tingling'.

219. I am not allowed to reenact famous battles of the Revolutionary War in the charms corridor

220. I will not cast 'Petrificus Totalus' on myself in order to avoid going to classes.

221. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.

222. All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts

223. I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.

224. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.

225. Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.

226. Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom

227. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house

228. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.

229. I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they "obviously aren't cut out for this school".

230. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".

231. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

232. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

233. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

234. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Snape's office door

235. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'

236. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable

237. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

238. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.

239. Yelling BOO! at Professor Moody is not wise.

240. I am not allowed to use the superglue spell to stick Harry and Draco's hands together

241. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice.

242. Saying the Dark Mark should be the Slytherin Crest is wrong.

243. When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"

244. "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell

245. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

246. I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real father.

247. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

248. I am to stop asking Professor Snape to Yule Ball.

249. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

250. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

251. I am not allowed to predict the end of the world more than once.

252. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.

253. Regardless of the beautiful irony, I will not hang a tempting piñata from the Whomping Willow.

254. I will not attempt to graft a transplant from the Whomping Willow onto the Hogwarts Christmas Tree in Herbology class.

255. I will not try to make a new basilisk for the Chamber of Secrets

256. I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as “Kitchen Stadium”.

257. “Potter 6, Voldemort 0″, is not a valid T-shirt slogan

258. I will not pay Peeves to rewrite the school-anthem!

259. If Lupin requests something of me, it is considered very rude to refuse by replying, “Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!”

260. Telling Umbridge cardigans are so 1994 will get you in trouble.

261. I must never tell Ron he looks like a puffer fish.

262. I am not allowed to sing "Holding Out For A Hero" whenever Harry Potter enters the room.

263. Putting fake spiders around Ron’s bed isn’t funny. Especially when he tries to jump out of the window.

264. It probably isn’t smart to ask Draco Malfoy if his hair glows in the dark.

265. No matter how cool it sounds I will not release pixies into the school - it will just end badly.

266. I will not use muggle hair dye to dye Draco Malfoy's hair red.

267. It is not a good idea to charm the furniture in the potions classroom to be pink and fluffy.

268. I will not owl Voldemort a bottle of anti-depresents.

269. I will not make Snape an appointment with a muggle psychiatrist.

270. It is not a good idea to ask Snape if he is off his medication when he is angry. Or ever.

271. After using the hair dye on Malfoy, I will not attempt to claim him as the long missing Weasley brother.

272. I will not tell the first years that it is customary to dye their hair in their house colours for their first day of lessons.

273. A lightning bolt tattoo is NOT the 'Light Mark'.

274. Selling memorabilia with photographs of the 'ferret incident' is not allowed.

275. There is no annual 'Dress Like Dumbledore' day.

276. I will not re-enact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall.

277. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

278. I am not allowed to wear Death Eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.

279. I will not replace Professor Snape’s pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

280. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.

281. I may not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.

282. I am not possessed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth

283. Neville is not my valet.

284. There is no “open-mic night” at Hogwarts

285. It is not a good idea to give Malfoy a “love note” from Ginny and vice versa,

286. It is not a good idea to show the notes to Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass

287. It is a horrible idea to introduce “colour war” to Hogwarts with Slytherin as green, Hufflepuff as yellow, Gryffindor as red and Ravenclaw as blue.

288. On no circumstances can you introduce rabid fan girls to Harry potter.

289. You must not mix Ravenclaws with muggle geeks or Slytherins with popular people that are muggles. Or Blair Waldorf.

290. I am not to make a waterfall in the astronomy tower so I can surf down after class.

291. I am not allowed to change the Slytherin banner in the Great Hall to a pink and blue banner with a teddy bear on it.

292. Easter in Hogwarts is not to be celebrated by releasing hordes of pink rabbits and making the first years chase them.

293. I am not God.

294. Professor Dumbledore is not God.

295. Despite being near-omniscient, Professor McGonagall is not God.

296. Neither is Harry Potter.

297. I am not the founder of a new religion, in which Snape is the devil and Weasleys are the chosen people and are to lead the followers to the light.

298. I cannot make the followers of Weasleyity have red hair and freckles.

299. The Thriller is not the school dance.

300. I may not borrow an extra wand and watch DRUMLINE too many times. The results are too unpredictable, and Professor Flitwick would like his nose back some day.

301. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

302. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

303. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.


1.You make your boyfriend die his hair bronze, and if he doesn't, you break up with him.

2.You call your boyfriend Edward even though its not his name, if he doesn't like it, you break up with him.

3.You make your boyfriend listen to Debusy everytime your in your car, if he doesn't like it, well you know the drill. :)

4.You make your boyfriend wear Vampire teeth, and if he ask's you why, you break up with him.

5.Whenever your boyfriend invites you over to watch a movie, you always put in Romeo & Juliet.

6.If your boyfriend pulls up in a car that is not a silver Volvo, u call the cops.

7.When you and your boyfriend want to take a vacation and he suggests Italy, you yell at him an then break up with him

8.When your boyfriend tells you that he has two tickets to go to Forks, Washington, you pat him on the head and give him Animal blood, but if he refuses, you take your ticket and break up with him.

9. you make him read all the Twilight books so much that he has them memorized.

10.You tell your boyfriend that he will always be 2nd in your heart because Edward Cullen is first.

11. if your boyfriend doesn't have a white mansion, you tell him he has to buy one.

12. if he has no brothers or sisters named alice, jasper, emmett, rosalie, then you ask him "who are you?" and leave him. make your boyfriend listen to all the sad and happy songs that remind you of edward and bella and if he quetions you why, you throw him out of your car. ask your boyfriend what type of drug he thinks you are, and if he says anything other then heroine, you start to cry and tell him to leave.

101 things to do at WalMart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him "I need some tampons!!"

6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "Sex and candy".

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code Red in Housewares," and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station, turn them all off and turn up all the volumes to the max.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"

15. Repeat #14 in the jewelry department.

16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hell" upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

33. Take bets on the battle described above.

34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!)

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

40. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

41. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

42. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

43. Two words: "Marco Polo."

44. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.

45. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

46. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.

47. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

48. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

49. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

50. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

51. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

52. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."

53. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

54. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.

55. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

56. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

57. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

58. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle)."

59. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

60. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

61. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

62. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

63. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

64. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

65. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

66. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

67. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."

68. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it.

70. Get an empty book, and say it's a guest book. Get people to sign.

71. Play a game of indoor freeze tag

72. Drive around the entrances screaming out the window "the British are coming"

73. Have a team race with your friends- one person sits in the cart, the other pushes

74. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices

75. Fill your cart up as much as possible, and then try to use the express lane

76. Use a bullhorn and occasionally say that there is free candy in aisle X (aisle X being the condom aisle)

77. Run into a pyramid of cans, heroically saying "I'm gonna save us from that bomb!"

78. Use a conveyer belt as a treadmill and lose some weight

79. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over.

80. When people aren't looking, put tampons in their carts if they are a guy, or if they are a gal, put in a jock strap.

81. Randomly direct people to the deodorant section

82. Tell someone that you will sue for false advertising, since they do not sell walls.

83. Take your boyfriend or girlfriend to the food section and have an expensive dinner.

84. Try to push your cart through a checkout without paying. When the clerk tries to stop you, kick in his balls (dont try it on a chick, it wont work), run, but leave the cart. See what happens.

85. If people arent looking at their cart, steal it.

86. Go to the gun section, saying "Can I buy a gun? I'm tired of that stupid smily face!"

87. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use wite-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund.

88. See how much stuff you can break before you get caught

89. Take a leak in the dressing rooms.

90. Repeadeately say "The clowns are not eating me."

91. Use fake checks, but sign them using your neighbors name.

92. Rearrange items as you see fit.

93. Take a full set of guy's clothes and a full set of gal's clothes, then leave them lying somewhere.

94. Put pokemon stuff in a cart that is full of stuff like KoRn and Limp Bizkit CDs.

95. Grab condoms and stick them in everyone's face (only the opposite sex).

96. Do #95 but with the same sex (not recomended).

97. Grab stickers that say "radioactive" and put them randomly on food items.

98. Follow someone until they notice.

99. Pull out pins, like that guy form the 7up commercial.

100. Sing 'Girlfriend' very loudly, particularly in front of old people. Emphasise all swear words and watch the looks on their faces.

101. Loiter. When asked to leave, tell them you live here.

... Put this on your
... page if you have
...0 ever pushed a
... door that said pull

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)


xYou love hoodies.
xYou love jeans.
xDogs are better than cats.
xIt's hilarious when people get hurt.
xYou've played with/against boys on a team.
xShopping is torture.
xSad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
xYou watch sports on TV.
xGory movies are cool.
xYou go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
xIt's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
x Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
x You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
xSports are fun
x Talk with food in your mouth.
xSleep with your socks on at night--sometimes

TOTAL: 16(Wow, that just confirms what I know...)


You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
xYou wear the color pink
x Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
xYou like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
x You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
x You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
x You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
xYou care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
x You love the movies.
x Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing

TOTAL:9 (It's official...I am a tomboy...)

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say somethi ng nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing.

Stupid test:

18 or lower means you’re not stupid.

x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
x You have ran into a glass/screen door.
You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
x You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
total= 4

x You have ran into a tree.
It IS possible to lick your elbow
x You just tried to lick your elbow.
You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
You just tried to sing them.
x You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
x You have choked on your own spit.
You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
x You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
x You just looked at it.
Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde. (How does this make you stupid?)
x People have called you slow.

total so far=11

xY ou have accidentally caught something on fire
x You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
x You have caught yourself drooling.
You’ve fallen asleep in class
x If someone says “fart” you laugh.
x You just laughed.

total so far=16

xSometimes you just stop thinking
You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
x People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
You use your fingers to do simple math.

total so far= 18

You have eaten a bug.
x You are taking this test when you should be doing something important
x You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
x You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket

total so far= 21

You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
x You break a lot of things.
Your friends know not to use big words around you
x You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
x You have fallen out of your chair before
When you’re laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

total so far= 24

total= 24

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?


How long did it take you to read the books?

Twilight: 2 days, New Moon: 2 days, Eclipse: 3 days, Breaking Dawn: 3 days

Who introduced you to the books?

A good (yet hyper) friend

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

Breaking Dawn, I bought; the rest I borrowed from the library

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?


What's your dream ending to the series?

I like the ending to the series, but with me as another newborn vampire in the Cullen family!!



Who's your favorite vampire?

EDWARD!! (again)

Who is your favorite werewolf?


What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

"Fell down again Bella?" "No, I punched a werewolf in the face." LOL!!

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?


What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

When Bella punched Jacob in the face

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

When they had sleepovers during Eclipse (you know - kidnapping...)

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

Saving Edward from suicide in Italy, Edward vs. Victoria, Good Vampires vs. Bad Volturi

Which book cover was your favorite?


Are these books among your favorite books of all?


This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?


New Moon or Eclipse?


Eclipse or Twilight?


Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Breaking Dawn (but since I've finished it...MIDNIGHT SUN!!)

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?


The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

Breaking Dawn (again, finished the book, so THE MOVIE!!)

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?


Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?


Bella or Jacob?


Bella or Alice?


Alice or Jacob?


Rosalie or Alice?

Alice (Rosalie is a selfish vain offense to those that actually like her)

Jasper or Alice?


Jasper or Edward?


Carlisle or Esme?

Its a tie

Emmett or Jasper?


Emmett or Jacob?


Bella or Rosalie?


Esme or Charlie?


Charlie or Carlisle?


Charlie or Billy?

Its a tie

Jacob or Sam?


sam or Quil?


Quil or Embry?


Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?


Werewolves or Vampires?


Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

Steph's website

Are you excited?


What do you think of the casting so far?


Are you going to go see it?


Planning on going with anyone in particular?

Thinking of getting all my Twilight fans/friends to watch...

Do you think it will stay true to the book?


Breaking Dawn Speculation:

Are you planning on buying this book as soon as it's out?

Yes. and i already DID.

Do you think Bella will be turned into a vampire finally?


Do you think she and Edward will get married?

Yes. ( even Stephenie Meyer said so.)

Do you think Jacob might imprint in this book?


Who do you think Bella will end up with : Edward or Jacob?

Do you think it will be a happy, sad, or shocking ending?

i guess a happy one.

Who do you think will be the villain(s) of the book this time?

the Volturi. ( i laughed when the person who i copied this from said Renessme! ur funny.)

How would you feel about a possible vampire / werewolf cross?

that would be a bit disturbing. but i'd be fine with it as long as they didn't feel the need to drink blood. ( Yuck!)

Will Charlie find out Edward is a vampire?


Will the vampires and werewolves continue the truce they had in Eclipse?


If anyone, who do you think will die in this book? did I know...?

For a twist: what would you think if Edward was somehow turned human?


Do you think Jacob will be over Bella by the end of the book?


What do you most want to happen in Breaking Dawn?

Me becoming a vampire with the Cullens (okay, that's not going to happen, but still...)

What's your dream ending?

I thought I already answered that question...

Fanfiction Survey

How many fanfictions do you have submitted?


Which one has the most reviews?

The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show! with 686


You're Obsessed with Twilight Fanfiction when... with 134

Which fanfiction has the most words

The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show! with 59,114

Which fanfiction has the most chapters?

The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show! with 44

What category are the majority of your fanfictions in?


What do you like most in reviews: Quality or Quanity?

Quality, definitely!

Have any of your fanfictions made it into at least one C2?

The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show! with 4

Are any of your fanfictions on at least one person's favorites list?


Are any of your fanfictions on at least one person's alert list?


What genre do you most frequently write in?


Do you leave comments before and after a chapter?


Do you update frequently?

Not really

Do you frequently use original characters?

Do I count?

Are any of your fanfictions based on things that happened to you in real life?

Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe... yes.

What was the funnest thing you've ever had to write?

Dunno...All are pretty funny to write...

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:


When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.
when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.
You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
. . . Furbies
Saved By The Bell was the coolest show ever!
You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
Michael Jordan was a king.
YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
You collected those Beanie Babies.
Mortal Kombat was awesome--the game and the movie
Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.
You collected all the Troll dolls
You had to read Weekly Reader's in class.
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before MIKE JONES . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkmans.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
When you weren't cool unless you had a Starter jacket.
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . . or if you smiled at one of these things

Complete the sentence.

Vampires are sexily hot.

I will ace my next English assessment. Hopefully.

I will never have a crush on that stupid mutt called Jacob Black.

A werewolf can be stupid sometimes...

Pie is great for EATING!!

Some things should not be invented in the first place.

One mans trash is full of junk.

You should never bad-mouth Edward Cullen.

Always try to breathe.

Cats may pee on your couch.

Dogs are cute.

Eventually my holidays will end, I would have to go back to school and do more Maths...

The end of the world would suck.

Take 3 minutes and try will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

Computer Related Random Things

C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features. windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
Runtime error 6D at 417A:32CF: incompetent user.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else-
That's the lie you keep telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretend that you don't care.
Its 'not right' for you two to be,
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend,
Keep lying that he's just a friend?
Perhaps your feelings you never can show,
Perhaps its 'wrong' for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being his girl is an impossible wish...

Smile so the tears don't fall,
Laugh like you don't hurt at all,
Fake it so he'll never know,
That you still haven't let him go...

I'm not supposed to love you,
I'm not supposed to care,
I'm not supposed to live my life
Wishing you were there,
I'm not supposed to wonder
Where you are or what you do,
I'm sorry I can't help myself,
'Cause I'm in love with you!

Did you ever love someone, and know they didn't care?
Did you ever feel like crying, knowing it would get you no where?
Did you ever look into someone's eyes and say a little prayer?
Did you ever look into someone's heart, wishing you were there?
Did you ever watch someone walk away, not wanting them to go?
Did you whisper 'God, I love you,' but never letting them know?
You cry at night in misery and almost go insane.
Nothing in this world causes so much pain.
If I could choose between love and death, I think I'd rather die.
Love hurts, and the price you pay is high.
So I say 'Don't fall in love, it'll hurt before its through.'
You see my friend, I ought to know, because I fell in love with you...

You don't even notice the pain in my eyes,
Even though the smile on my face is my only disguise,
So I'll hide my tears, then I'll cry all alone,
No hand to hold onto because this pain is unknown,
So I will go now with a smile on my face,
Hiding it all, leaving a tear without a trace...

Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet alot of girls do too.

"If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven,
And bring you home again."

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."

"They say that time heals all wounds, but all it's done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you."

And I love you.


Who's working anyway?

The population of the US is 300 million.

160 million are retired.

That leaves 140 million to do the work.

There are 85 million in school.

Which leaves 55 million to do the work.

Of this there are 35 million employed by the federal government.

Leaving 15 million to do the work.

2.8 million are in the armed forces preoccupied with killing Osama

Which leaves 12.2 million to do the work.

Take from that total the 10.8 million people who work for state and city

And that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.

At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals.

Leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.

Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.

That leaves just two people to do the work.

You and me.

And there you are,
Sitting on your butt,

At your computer, reading jokes.

Nice. Real nice.

pick up line comebacks, add to it

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

If you repost this you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
If you don't resend this then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

Reasons why girls are the best

1.We got off the Titanic first

2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.

6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.

7. Taxis stop for us.

8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).

11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.

18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.

22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.

27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.

28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.

1. Talk endlessly about how cute Bella and Edward are together...

2. ...even if you think your friends cared...

3. ...because they really don't.

4. Make an 'I hate Jacob' forum.

5. Spray paint 'Twilight' on a cop car...

6. ...even if you think it's funny, the cops will not.

7. Use the phrase 'bloodsucker' in your vocabulary.

8. Pretend to have visions of the future.

9. Buy a Silver Volvo...

10. doesn't matter that Edward has one.

11. Go out and see the movie 10 times just to look at Robert Pattinson.

12. Go to the forrest to try and find a meadow.

13. Push a pale person out into the sunlight to see if they glitter...

14. ...because they won't and they'll just end up mad at you.

14. Say, 'Bella Swan' when asked what your name is.

15. Ask random people how long they've been seventeen.

16. Stalk Robert Pattinson.

17. Ask your boyfriend to pretend to be a vampire...

18. ...because chances are he won't want to stand in the snow for five minutes just to get icy skin

19. Call your boyfriend Edward.

20. Look at a magazine and just assume everyone is a vampire because they're all so pretty...

21.'s called photoshop.

22. Log on to a fansite and post countless pictures of the Cullen boys...

23. ...even though everyone else is already doing it.


25. ...even if it's true.

26. Go to Forks, Washington.

27. Instantly assume that if someone isn't eating, they're a vampire

28. Try to see if you can go without breathing...

29. ...because you can't.

30. Write your name and any of the Cullen boys name with a heart around it...

31. ...especially on homework...

32. ...your teachers won't find it funny.

33. Whine about how the movie left out so many things from the book...

34. ...your parents really don't care.

35. Try to convince Harry Potter lovers that Twilight is better...

36. will get hurt.

37. Cut yourself then taste the blood just to see how it tastes...

38. doesn't matter that you were just curious. You'll end up in the hospital mental ward.

39. Anytime you see a hot doctor, call him Carlisle...

40. ...he won't think it's funny.

41. Try to read people's thoughts.

42. Sit next to the angsty boy in biology class in hopes that he'll end up being in love with you.

43. Think about Twilight any time you see an apple.

44. Try to go a week without sleeping...

45. won't end well.

46. Drive 50 miles over the speed limit...

47. ...chances are, your neighborhood cops will notice

48. Ask anyone you know that's pale to bite you.

49. Name your twins 'Edward and Bella'...

50. ...when they learn why you gave them those names, they won't be happy.

182 Things You Can Do At the Theaters Before or During Twilight!!

1. Bring a cardboard cut-out of Robert with you. Say he's your "date".

2. Go with several friends. Wear black robes and look sinister. Claim to be the Volturi.

3. Separate the theater crowd. Team Edward on one side, Team Jacob on the other side, and Team Switzerland in the middle. It can easily be done if you somehow manage to find a big scary dude to get the crowd to cooperate.

4. Go around the theater and ask everyone questions from the books to see whether they've read them.

5. Wear plastic fangs. Offer plastic fangs to strangers in the audience.

6. Throw popcorn at your enemy side from 3.

7. Shout random spoilers during the movie.

8. Bring a relatively large dog to the theater and say, "It's Jacob"

9. Wait by the door, and when people try to walk in, shove them out and yell, "I will not share!!"

10. Paint yourself in glitter and bring a torch. When the meadow scene comes on, shine it on you and start shouting 'I'M A VAMPIRE I AM I AM!

11. Sing the 'I am a Vampire' song from Juno when Edward comes on/says he's a vampire.

12. Wear a Robert's Mafia badge.

13. Find the particularly immature fans who are obnoxiously sure of their couples (you know the ones. Those little 12-year-old fans who pitch a fit if you aren't a hardcore Bella/Edward fan) and sit beside them. Loudly voice your opinions on the couple that rivals theirs. I.e., "Jacob is most definitely the more reasonable choice for Bella. Edward is just dangerous." Or "Jacob will imprint on someone and leave Bella. Anyone who thinks they truly have a chance together needs to get their heads out of the clouds."

14. Get into heated debates with random people on Edward's sexuality.

15. Shout out "Who's an IMDB Twilighter" in the theater and see how many people yell back.

16. If your blonde, or have short spikey hair, go really pale and whisper to the person next to you, "I'm so proud of my brother, its his first movie y'know!"

17. Bring two podiums and have a random Edward fan and a random Jacob fan debate over the two. Hey, at least it's entertaining!

18. Look at someone as if you're going to eat him or her. Start licking your lips and smile evilly.

19. Wear your fangs and drink cranberry juice out of clear bottles.

20. Play charades and make people guess what book/part they're acting out.

21. Go up to the food serving bit and ask for human blood. If they refuse, reply with "Oh fine, I'll have animal".

22. Wear dark black contacts and eye-shadow circles under your eyes. Then stare at people in the theater.

23. Walk up to someone smell him or her and then say, "No offense... But you smell like a DOG!"

24. Walk up to a stranger and tell you that you have imprinted on them and that they now belong to you, then sit by them the whole time!

25. Turn to the person next to you and say, "I cant believe she got bit in the end" only gonna work if the person is a newbie to the series.

26. Laugh at random moments in the movie especially sad ones Exp: movie- "Bella, James is a tracker and he's coming to kill you" You and friends- 'MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA ohhhhh that was good'

27. Go to the bathroom.

28. Scream, "DOG!" whenever Jacob appears onscreen.

29. Scream, "BLOODSUCKER!" when Edward admits he's a vampire .

30. Scream, "Yes! Edward's gonna score!" he and Bella kiss.

31. Where gold eye contacts and say you're Edward's long lost cousin.

32. Use your dog as a space heater when camping outside the theater the night before the movie releases. (Hey, in December, it's gonna be COLD. Lol Unless, you live in like, Jamaica, or something... )

33. If BD turns out to not have Bella and Edward together, scream LIARRRRR at Edward when he tells Bella he loves her.

34. Go see the movie, at least weekly, until it comes out on DVD, then do the same thing on said list while waiting for the DVD release at Wal-Mart, and what not.

35. Read the books while waiting for the movie to come out in theaters.

36. Everytime you see Bella and know she's gonna be in danger yell "DANGER

37. At random moments lean over to the stranger next to you, and in a very Jasper like voice, say something like "I feel what you are feeling and you're wrong." Hahaha

38. Instead of bring popcorn to eat, bring apples.

39. Randomly ask people to bite you.

40. During any Jacob/Bella moments (or anything that resembles a Jacob/Bella moment), either howl, "Arooo!" and pant like a dog, or say loudly, "Looks like SOMEONE needs to get FIXED.

41. Take your little sister along. Lay in front of her and start screaming and twitching in agony. Laugh and stand up, unharmed, when people who haven't been introduced to Jane freak out and try to help.

42. Before Edward smells Bella in class for the first time like in the Caf scene when he keeps looking at her trying to read her mind, pull an Aro move, say something like "That IS interesting! "

43. As soon as Rob appears on screen, scream "I LOVE YOU ROB! HAVE MY BABIES!". Be prepared for some strange looks.

44. Wait until Edward and Bella are having their quite moment in the meadow and then scream loudly "HE'S GOING TO BITE HER!!"

45. Ask a random person if they thirst for your blood.

46. Tell a random person you thirst for their blood.

47. This only works if you are a girl, but when you see Bella for the first time, scream loudly "I LOVE YOU BELLA YOU ARE SO HOTTT!!" vice-versa for Edward if you are a guy.

48. When Edward says, "So the lion fell in love with the lamb," scream ROAR!!" and "BAAAAAAH!"

49. Use Twilight pickup-lines on strangers in the audience. "I'm a vampire, wanna see me sparkle?" "Are you ridiculously hot, or is that just the werewolf in you?" "I'm Bella. You're Edward. My virtue means nothing."

50. Before the movie begins, say loudly, "Okay, just so we're clear, no one cuts themselves right?" (if that offends anyone, sorry)

51. Go up to a random blonde chick and say "Edward prefers BRUNETTES!"

52. Seperate the theater into T~O's and general movie-goers. Then have a trivia-off between the two sides and be overly obnoxious with your correct answers.

53. Act out scenes from the trailers with a group a friends, being overly dramatic for everything.

54. Yell out "spoilers" that are completely untrue.

55. Dress up as Dr. Phil and make snide comments about Bella and Edward's beep up relationship, no matter how amazing it is.

56. Ask loudly during a very solemn part of the movie, "D'you think Edward prefers boxers or briefs?" Have a setup for this question, and have two friends sit somewhere else in the theater, and get into a loud argument over this.

57. Have one of your friends sit somewhere in the theater away from you reading Dracula or an Anne Rice book. While waiting for the film go over to them (like she's a stranger) and scream "THEY DON'T EVEN SPARKLE!! !!"

58. Right after the "Twilight" line, start singing the sunrise, sunset song from Fiddler on the roof.

59. As soon as bella goes off to the dance studio and james is talking to her ... yell "SHES GONNA DIE!" and throw popcorn / sour patch kids at the screen.

60. As soon as Taylor Lautner (sp?) comes on the screen yell "SHARKBOY!!" (sorry... just had to say it )

61. Go dressed up like a character from Harry Potter, and when the movie starts, look confused and leave.

62. Start yelling out loud in the middle of class, "I know it's dangerous, Edward! Get out of my head!"

63. When waiting in line for the movie, tell the person next to you the entire plot of the movie (using the same character names, but a different movie plot, ex. "So Bella's parents die fighting off the Volturi. And Bella s left with a crescent scar on her hand... everyone knows her name and she doesn't know why, until a large scary guy tells her the real story of her parents death...")

64. When Bella starts pretend-flirting on the beach with Jacob, yell "BELLA, YOU ARE MAKING THE WORST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE!!"

65. Go to the movie, dress up all fancy and antique-looking and when the movie starts, tell everyone around you casually and proud "That's my boyfriend up there" and point to the screen as they show Edward.

66. Wear a dark robe and grab someone's hand. Laugh in a very Aro-esque fashion and say, "I know your secrets."

67. Scream and giggle madly whenever two characters interact, as though they're your favorite couple. "OH MY CARLISLE, Mike and Edward are glaring at each other! So cute!" "Eee! Jasper is calming Bella down! This is so romantic!"

68. Go up to the guy at the snack stand and say: "If I could dream at all it would be about you." Or something similar. This works really well if he is gangly and has horrible acne.

69. Go up to some random person at the theater and say, "You're exactly my brand of heroin."

70. Use vampire teeth and start getting near the throat of the person seating next to you. When they look weird at you just tell them that you are sorry and do it again 5 minutes later.

71. Buy a hot dog and bite a part with ketchup and with your vampire teeth full of it smile darkly at the person sitting next to you

72. When the person next to you is not watching grab 2 straws and put them on your teeth and said "LOOK I HAVE VAMPIRE TEETH!!

73. Put on a dark cloak in the middle of the movie and start walking around the theatre.

74. Walk around before the movie starts and sit down beside random people and start loudly talking about Stephenie Meyer's conspiracy theories against Harry Potter. Do it all while wearing a Gryffindor robe. Then start bashing J.K. Rowling. Watch them get confused.

75. When Esme first comes on, yell VERY loudly, "I thought her name was Ava!" (only for Grey's Anatomy fans)

76. Every time Jacob or one of his Quiluete (sp) friends comes on, yell, "WEREWOLF" loudly.

77. Upon entering the movie theaters, immediately break into a run and start towards the theater Twilight is showing in full-speed. While running, hysterically scream, "EDWARD! EDWARD!"

78. Proudly wear your "Team Edward" t-shirt.

79. Every time Bella falls down or makes a fool of herself, take a drink of soda.

80. Once the movie has started, turn to your neighbor and ask: "Huh? This is a movie about vampires? I thought it was a documentary film about the advancement of street light technology in the 21st century. Crap. I want my 7 bucks back."

81. Bring a waterbottle filled with red kool aid and label it with an animal that lives in the area. i.e. "Alligator" or "Squirrel".

82. Lean over to the stranger next to you and say, "You smell edible!"

83. Tell the person next to you when you see Victoria "It's a shame that it's the girl that's gonna kill Bella, huh?"

84. When they come back from the tide pools and the Quileute boys are at the beach with Bella seeing them for the first time start singing "Who let the dogs out?" or shout loudly "Alright, who invited the werewolves?"

85. When Jacob comes on the screen and bella is flirting with him go into a hystarical fit, rolling around the floor screaming and crying...then have to be dragged out by the movie ushers screaming "I love you edward!! wait for me!!"

86. Hire a huge bodyguard and tell everyone he is your rented Volturi guard for the night and anyone who has never read the books or is not an imdb Twilighter can "GET OUT THIS IS A PRIVATE VIEWING FOR PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY CARE!!" Then start chanting.

87.Make sure you sit next to a first timer, someone who has never read the books and blurt everything out right before it happens. i.e.:"OOOO.. .he is gonna kill her!!" or "man that relationship will NEVER work!!" Then when they get tired of it and say something to you like, "Excuse me, but i have never read these books and you are ruining this experience for me. I have a right to wait and see what happens and I don't think you should do this just because you read the book!" then when they turn around, start sneezing violently. When they turn to look at you again say "Sorry, but I'm allergic to bull!"

88. Sit behind a bald guy and try to hit the center of his head with your popcorn. Every time he turns around turn around and look at the 12 year olds behind you and be like "Hey that's rude." Then call the movie ushers and have them removed.

89. When the scene with Edward playing the piano for Bella, say: "What?! I thought he played the xylophone!"

90. Wear a red-brown shaggy dog-suit to the theater and only act like a dog. Change back into a human later on making it look like you are 'morphing-back to normal, only wearing a pair of sweatpants and bare chest (for guys haha)

91. When buying food at the concession, yell: " Edward doesn't I wont either!!"

92. Throw a baseball back and forth with a friend and run really fast to catch it.

93. Leave the theater at all the really important parts, then come back in and ask, "Did he bite her yet?" or, "Is she dead yet?" and then scream "What kind of world is this when a girl with a small bladder can't get the whole movie experience!" when people ask you to shush up. only good if you already saw it

94. Ask random people if they're more attracted to your blood or your body.

95. Leave the theater constantly. Trip every time you leave and come back. Loudly call for Edward to save you.

96. Walk up to someone wearing blue. Tell them Edward thinks you look hot.

97. If you're a brunette, wear blue. Proclaim yourself Bella.

98. In the hospital scene after she gets hit by Tyler start yelling, "He's a vampire!!"

99. Scream that Edward is a Vampire a hundred times before the movie.

100. Scream that you did all 100 things to do while waiting for the movie.

101. Dress up as Bella/Alice/ whoever and BE them. Make your friends dress up too and interact with you as if they really were their character. Scream about how you are NOT in Forks and run around. If you're Bella, trip a couple times. (=

102. Whenever Bella seems to be causing problems with the other characters (like when James first smells her) say in a loud, snide voice, "Y'know, the ACTUAL Switzerland didn't cause this much of a problem."

103. When Jacob makes his appearance, scream, "OH MY GOSH! EW! GET THEM OFF ME! FLEAS!"

104. Bring a Chihuahua with you, and when you get strange looks, reply matter-of-factly, "This is the new and improved Jacob. Travel-sized for one's convenience. " And promptly sprint away.

105. Sit next to a stranger and be very still. Stare into space for a long time. When the stranger finally asks if there's something wrong say, "I have foreseen..." in an ominous voice.

106. When Bella trips start singing, "She hit the floor next thing you know shawtty got low low low."

107. When Edward starts getting close to Bella to kiss her singing the theme of jaws xD.

108. Print out this list and sit by someone who's, no doubt, going to be oneof the people who takes movies so seriously that they'll scream at anyone who even whispers. Whip the list impressively out of your pocket, lean over and seriously ask for suggestions on which things to shout out.

109. Start a standing ovation before the movie starts.

110. Study the sides and get up in the middle of the scenes and act them out with your friends in front of the screen (or go a few times then do this).

111. Make friends with someone who works in the theater and get them to drag you out of the theater at some point, when they do yell

112. Confuse the n00bish movie goers into thinking that mike is edward's competition and divide the theater into team edward and team mike. Debate. Laugh. Enjoy. Then when some person who works at the theater comes and breaks it up, point to some random stranger and yell, "SHE/E STARTED IT!" and quickly run out.

113. Go and dress up and pretend to be Bella. Get a guy friend to go as Jacob or Edward and have a really big public break up with them in the middle of the theater before the movie. (this could actually be even better if its bella/edward and you do it right after the flirting with jacob scene during the movie.)

114. Instead of eating popcorn or candy, bring a large stuffed penguin and pretend you're feasting on that instead. Vampire teeth and fake blood would make it more interesting...Oh and ask anyone thats looking at you, "Wanna bite?"

115. Buy gummi bears, then go on about how great your 'irritable grizzlies' taste throughout the movie.

116. Start going on about the ballet scene at the beginning and how its really unfair that Edward didn't turn Bella into a vampire.

117. When Edward makes his appearance, fall out of your seat and clutch at your chest. Gasp for air in a very New Moon-Bella (or angsty! Bella, in other words) fashion. For better effect, moan, "He's gone" over and over again.

118. After a very romantic Bella/Edward scene in the New Moon movie (if they make one), say in a loud, cheery voice, "Wow, after an intense thing like that, who'd-a thought Bella ended up with Caius in the end?"

119. When Robert appears on screen for the first time, scream "SEXBOMB".

120. Find an Edward look alike, tackle hug them, and scream "EDWARD!".

121. Give the 12 year olds a chance! If they start acting teenybopperish, however, tower over them and claim that you are the Volturi, and you are here to accept their death wish.

122. Go around with a video camera, and quiz people on their Twilight knowledge, and give them small gifts if they get it right. And then post that video on YouTube!

123. Get to the front of the line first, and greet everyone who lines up. Introduce yourselves as Twilight characters.

124. Pick a random person (hot guy) in the crowd and follow them a while, make sure you are wearing red contacts, keep popping in and out and make sure they see a few glimpses of you...basically. ..freak them out!!

125. Bring your grandma and a guy painted in glitter. Reenact bella's dream in front of the screen.

126. Carry your little sister/brother in and ask anyone if they're hungry.

127. When Jasper (and his big freakish poofy hair!) first appears, scream, "OH MY GOSH, IT'S MICHAEL JACKSON!"

128. Have random Alice-esque visions all night about people's futures.Make them as crazy-weird as possible.

129. Ask to shake strangers hands, and then smile and act like Aro. Tell people, "That was interesting. "

130. Enter the theatre looking scared, and try to hide in the back. Have some friends come in dressed in long black robes. Have them haul you out of the theatre, whilst you scream "NO! PLEASE DEAR GOD NO!!" and other such dramatics. Come back in later with pale make up on. Try to "bite" random strangers.

131. Bring one of those paper fortune-tellers/ cootie-catcher things and make people pick numbers and colors. If asked about your bizarre behavior, claim to be Alice using a "vision-channeling device."

132. When Edward shows off his SEXY ABS-erm, I mean, sparkles-burst into a
loud chorus of "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred.

133. Bring a podium and a large dry-erase board into the theater, and begin a very serious, scientific lesson on why real vampires sparkle. Continuously make a mockery of traditional Halloween fanged, high-collared, Dracula-esque vampires. For added hilarity, have one of your friends dress up as a traditional vampire and storm out of the theater indignantly during your lesson.

134. Claim you are from Denali (One of Tanya's clan) and cry every time you see Bella and Edward together.

135. Hum "Hedwig's Theme" the entire time.

136. Bring a megaphone and during particularly shocking moments in the movie use it to exclaim, "OH MY CARLISLE!"

137. Bring a megaphone and tell people that you are from the Volutri, and any fangirling teenyboppers will be escorted out. And say to one of your friends loudly, " ready for dinner?"

138. Get to the theater SUPER early when no one's there. When people come and try to sit in the empty row that you're sitting in, deliberately tell them that the spot is taken for Bella/Edward/ Jacob/Alice/ Jasper/other Twilight characters. If they try to sit in the seat next to it, say it's for a different character's name. i.e: "Excuse me, that seat's saved for Carlisle...Er, that's saved for Esme...Uhm, that's saved for Jacob...Oh, that one's saved for Rosalie..."

139. Sit next to an older guy or lady and everytime something sad happens, turn to them and proclaim that you feel like there is a huge hole with jagged edges in your chest that is about to be ripped open and will cause you undeniable their stunned reaction and then be a creep and get all touchy-feely and blow your nose on their sleeve or something...really works if you want someone to move..ha.

140. Laugh loudly everytime Edward opens his mouth to speak so that no one else can hear him. When someone tells you to be quiet say, "What? That was FUNNY!"

141. Whenever someone (onscreen or off) says, "Alice," quicky shout, "IN WONDERLAND."

142. Have a friend (of the opposite sex ie: boyfriend, girlfriend) come in before you and act like a total stranger. You come in as a werewolf. When you see them, tell them you've imprinted on them, and then immediately start making out.

143. Yell at the end of the movie when Bella and Edward kiss (if they do), "TOO BAD EDWARD LEAVES YOU IN NEW MOON! HA - HA!"

144. During the baseball scene start sobbing insanely loud and cry out, "WHY?! WHY DOES ALICE/CARLISE/ JASPER/EMMET HAVE TO DIE?!" Don't say all the names obviously, just pick one.

145. Say when Edward and James are fighting, "WHY DOES EDWARD HAVE TO DIE?!"

146. Have one of your (hairy?) guy friends come to the theater without their shirt. When someone asks him to put on a shirt or leave, have him run from the theater on all fours, howling loudly as he goes. Turn to the person and tell them to PLEASE not upset a werewolf again as it usually has deadly consequenses.

147. Gather a group of friends and make flyers to hand out outside the theatre explaining that vampires have feelings too and that they should not be exploited in this fashion. make picket signs and chant.

148. Before the movie starts, set up a stand and bet with everyone that you're the palest one of the lot.

149: Have a contest to see who has the best costume, knows the most facts, etc. etc. of people in the theater!

150. Have one person who looks like Edward and another person who looks like Jake and make them stand in front of the theater with brochures saying "VOTE FOR EDWARD AS MR. SWAN"/"VOTE FOR JACOB AS MR. SWAN" and at the end of the movie, count the votes and announce it inside the theater in the middle of a scene! if you want, you could also have an Eric!!

151. Chant T~O or Twihard or whatever you wanna be called.

152. Dress up as the Volturi, wait at the entrance and don't let in all the
12 yr old noobz who pretend to "know everything about twilight".

153. Dress really trashy and wear violet contacts. "Lure" the "victims" into the theatre like this.

154. Watch movies with Rob and Kristen in such as: HP4(and 5), Panic Room, Zathura, Mission Without Permission, and others.

155. Enter the theater by means of a grate and underground tunnel system. When you eventually surface look cunfused and loudly ask if anyone has seen Aro recently.

156. When you first see 'Edward' on the screen yell, "CEDRIC IS RESURRECTED!"

157. Stare at a stranger in the theater intently and when they turn to look at you, you say, "Do I dazzle you?"

158. When Charlie first comes on screen, loudly shout, "Bet no one suspectedhim as part of the Volturi, huh?"

159. Whenever Edward comes on screen, say, "I vant him to suck my blood!"

160. Whenever one of the Cullens starts to walk near Bella, say with increasing volume, "Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!!" like in Jaws.

161. Go to the movie with a friend. One of you bring a stuffed animal of a dog, and one of you bring one of dracula. Sit on opposite sides of the movie. While the movie is playing, continuously throw the stuffed animals back and forth while screaming "EDWARDD!!" if you have the Dracula and "JACOBB!!" if you have the dog one. If possible, make swiss cheese fall from cealing while you both scream "SWITZERLANDD! "

162. When Taylor Lautner comes onscreen, scream REALLY LOUDLY, "I THOUGHT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BIGGER!!"

163. Yell as the movie starts, "Alright, new Harry Potter movie! Yes!" Continue to comment on how awesome Daniel Radcliffe is, even if it's clearly Rob.

164. During all of the romantic scenes with Edward and Bella shout, "Take that Jacob Black!"

165. Follow anyone wearing a tan jacket around and sniff them.

166. Get there a good 3 hours early and go up to the people in line for the showing before yours and say loudly to the people you are with, "YOU KNOW, THE VAMPIRE BITES HER IN THE END. SHE DIES. I'VE READ THE BOOK." Knowing full well that it isn't true, but just to make the people mad.

167. When the lineup to get into the theatre gets really long, strike up an arguement with anyone near the front of the line about why you are a bigger Twilight fan than they are.

168. Dress up as a mountain lion and proclaim that, "Edward can eat me anytime he wants!"

169. Publicly mock anyone who might have come to the opening night with fangs or any other typical vampire getup, not knowing any better.

170. Have you and your friends dress up like the Volturi and ask loudly to the theatre at large before the movie, "Has anyone here seen a Carlisle Cullen? Aro has an important message for him!" when no one answers, pretend to discuss with your friends and then yell out: "It's feeding time!!", advancing on the crowd...

171. Bring a notebook and take notes on whatever, making your movements frantic and noticeable to the person next to you. Glare at them when they look at you questioningly and shift in your seat to keep the notebook's contents out of their sight. When the movie ends, quickly stand up, throw a black cloak over yourself and sweep mysteriously out of the theater. Avoid seeing them on your way out of the building. You know they'll be wondering about you.

172. At the very end of the movie, stand up dramatically and say, "So wait. Edward doesn't kill Bella. And Bella doesn't hook up with Eric. This is such a rip off!!" and storm out of the theatre.

173. Cry at the funniest moment, laugh at the most dramatic. Get a friend to ask loudly, "DO YOU HAVE MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER OR SOMETHING?".

174. Wear superlight makeup and body glitter with your vampire getup.

175. Dress up as vampire-movie theater workers (volturi would work too) and inform people that they cannot enter the theater with out their Twilight book or they muct be able to prove that they have an adequate knowlege of the book (or if they wear a Twilight tee shirt).

176. Try to go to a later showing, where nearly everyone is unfamiliar with the book. Ruin it for them in every way possible.

177. Yell loudly when Edward and Bella kiss, "EDWARD! !!WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME??NOOOOO!!"

178. During some quiet point in the movie, yell, "I BET EDWARD AND BELLA GET TOGETHER IN THE END!!"

179. Remark to random strangers romantic lines from the books like, "Do I dazzle you?" and, "If I could dream at at all, it would be about you..."

180. Any time Edward says "Bella" and then pauses, say, "I'm gay." REALLY loudly.

181. When Jacob first comes on, sing "Na na na na na na na, SHARK BOOOY!" like the Batman theme.

182. Make your pale friend hold an apple with both hands.

X You own a cell phone.
you own something from abercrombie
You own something from pacsun
you own something from Hollister
You own something from American Eagle
You love/like going to the mall.
X You own an iPod/MP3 player.
You love Starbucks.
You have been called a brat.
You hate buying things that are on sale
You have more than one house
Total: 2


XBlack is one of your favorite colors.
X You have thought about death.
You wear chains.
You like heavy metal.
You've shopped at Hot Topic.
You have worn black lipstick.
XYour hair was/is dark. (Hey! I'm Asian! What do you expect?!)
X You dislike preps.
You're an athiest/ satanist/agnostic.
Total: 4


You can skateboard
You've worn plaid.
you like Converse
you hate MTV
You have/had blue, pink, red, purple, or green hair. - (streeks count)
You dislike pink.
X You hate/dislike preps.
You wear/wore skateboarding shoes.
Total: 1


X You love the computer.
X You like Harry Potter.
X you are supposed to wear glasses/contacts
You get straight A's.-(most of the time, not always)
X You love/like reading.
You were/are in band
X You don't care what you look like.
X You have a curfew.
X You always do your homework.
X you never miss school unless you're sick. (I'm not ALLOWED!)
Total: 8 (it is official - I'm a geek!!)

You watch/watched the Superbowl.
You own track shoes or other sports related shoes.
You collect your jerseys.
you have a wall or shelf dedicated to your trophies / awards
You have posters or plaques of famous athletes.
your garage consists of sports equiptment
You belong/belonged to a school team.
You are going/did go to a sports summer camp.
You have a specific number
Total: 0


XYou like loud music
XYou love/loved the Ninja Turtles
You never walk anywhere.
you wear slip-on shoes.
You wear/wore Vans.
You like the band panic! at the disco.
You wear band t-shirts.
XPeople have called you a freak and meant it.
You love to "hardcore" dance
hair has been died more than 1 color--dark red, orange red, black, blue, and purple
Total: 3

50 Things You Didn't Know About Me Until You Read This!

1. What color is your toothbrush?

Green and white electric toothbrush

2. Name one person who made you smile today:

Dad :)

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning:

Working on various fanfics ('Plotline Parodies' and 'OMC!! The Principal is a Vampire!!')

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Drinking ginger beer

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

Kit Kat

6. Have you ever been to a strip club?

No. Don’t plan on it either. (Ewww...)

7. What is the last thing you said aloud?

"Dad...I'm drunk on ginger beer..."

8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?


9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Ginger beer

10. What is your lip gloss of choice?

Strawberry-flavoured chapstick

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Mango Gelato

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?


13. The last sporting event you watched?

A got a glimpse of a bit of cricket, but that's about it...

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Extra butter (fattening but GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!)

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

A friend

16. Ever go camping?


17. Do you take vitamins daily?


18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not a Christian...

19. Do you have a tan?

Yes, ever since I was a baby (I was born with it...)

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

Depends on what Chinese food it is...but generally no because I have Chinese food pretty much everyday...

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I like to, but I don’t go out of my way for it.

22. What did your last text message say?

Ah sure, why not...

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

Er...I dunno...

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

Books and papers...

26. What color is your watch?

I don’t own one.

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Our prime minister's better than the outgoing George W Bush... (I'm Australian...)

28. What is your birthstone?


29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Fast food place

30. What is your favorite number?

Don't have one...

31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?

My mom.

32. Any plans today?


33. How many states have you lived in?


34. Biggest annoyance right now?

Annoyingly slow Internet

35. Last song listened to?

Supermassive Black Hole by Muse

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?


37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?


38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?


39. Are you jealous of anyone?

Those really smart and talented people who could do anything (those really smart people who are really good at piano/violin/guitar/etc)

40. Is anyone jealous of you?

Probably those who think I'M one of the smart talented people...(I'm not, btw)

41. Do you love anyone?

My family and my friends (and Edward Cullen...)

42. Do any of your friends have children?


43. What do you usually do during the day?

During the school year - Go to school, come back home, go on (During the holidays - wake up late, eat, go on computer for half the day then practise piano, then more fanfiction, then sleep)

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

Not really

45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?

Sometimes, but I prefer 'hi' or 'hey'

46. What color is your car?


47. Do you like cats?

Kittens, yes, but I'm a dog person

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?


49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?


50. How did you get your worst scar?

The one under my chin was when I bumped it on a table when I was two

1. FIRST NAME: Nancy

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nancy Reagan, wife of Ronald Reagan


4. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? A month ago

5. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDS? yep, but they are a bit dry...

6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? meat, i guess...idk.

7. KIDS? maybe one...but years from now.


9. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? yep, but I don't use it much...






15. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? i think so...emotionally or physically?


7. SHOE SIZE? depends of da shoe

18. RED OR PINK? Pink




22. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Green slippers, grey pants




26. FAVORITE SMELL? Freshly baked bread



29. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? This was supossed to be sent?


31. FAVORITE SPORT? Badminton

32. EYE COLOR? Chocolate

33. HAT SIZE? 61

34. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No, glasses

35. FAVORITE FOOD? Chinese BBQ duck!!





40. HUGS OR KISSES? Kisses!

41. FAVORITE DESSERT? Brownie with vanilla ice cream :)

If you could trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why? Kristen Stewart

What have you found to be the best way to relieve tension? Piano and Music

If you could choose only two movies to watch ever again, what would they be? Twilight and Rush Hour 2

Name three things you wanted as a child but never got. Alot of things...Don't really know...

If someone told you had exactly 9 minutes to live, what would you do in those 9 minutes? Tell everybody I could that I love them, like people that I do love, and then spend the rest either playing piano or laughing...

Describe your dream house. A two-storey house with a balcony, a large vegetable/flower garden and en suite bedrooms

Do you believe people are basically good? Everybody has some good in them

What is the most expensive article of clothing you’ve ever purchased? No idea at all

What are your worst habits? Biting my nails

Who is the person you know with the purest soul? My mom

Describe the happiest day of your life. Watching Twilight with my old friend

Describe the saddest day of your life. When my previous dog got taken away to the pound

What is the oldest age you would like to be alive? Somewhere in the triple digits would be awesome

What was the best year of your life? Don’t have one – All are great and bad in their own way

Who is the most successful person personally known to you? My mum (to be able to go through a divorce and a breakdown with her sisters, AND to have a smile on her face is just plain amazing)

Who is the most outrageous person personally known to you? ME!!

What is your biggest regret? Never getting to know my two grandparents :’(

If you could choose only one music CD to ever listen to again, what would it be? Twilight Movie Soundtrack

You can go back in time and prevent a great catastrophe.Which one would you prevent? 9/11

If you went to a beach and it turned out to be a nude beach, would you stay and go swimming? Would you swim nude? No Way!!

If you were at a friend’s house for dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do? Stare at it for a long time, before telling the friend’s parents about it

If you were elected to be leader of a foreign country tomorrow, what country would you want it to be and what would be your first official act? Depends on what the country is – Different countries have different problems

If money were no object, how many children would you want to have? Just 2

Layers Of You (Put a question mark for questions you don't want to answer)

Name: Nancy
Birth date: ?
Current Location: Sydney
Eye Color: Brown (I would like to think it's chocolate-brown, but it's brown...)
Hair Color: Black
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Taurus

Your heritage: Chinese
Your weakness: A lot of things..
Your fears: Heights
Your perfect pizza: Meatlovers with pineapple
Goal you'd like to achieve: UAI of at least 91

Your thoughts first waking up: Ugh...What a weird dream...
Your best physical feature: HOW WOULD I KNOW?!
Your bedtime: 9:30ish
Your most missed memory: Dunno...

Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: Maccas
Adidas or Nike: Neither
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton tea
Chocolate or vanilla ice cream: Tied
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

Cuss: Oh yeah...
Take a shower: Everyday
Have a crush: Yes
Think you've been in love: No
Want to get married: Yes
Believe in yourself: Sometimes...
Think you're a health freak: Not really...but sometimes I can be one

Gone to the mall: Yes
Been on stage: No
Been dumped: No
Gone skating: No
Dyed your hair: No

Played a stripping game: No
Got beaten up: No.
Changed who you were to fit in: Nope

Age your hoping to be married: At least 25
Age your hoping to have kids: At least 27

Best eye color: Doesn't matter :)
Best hair color: See above
Long or Short? Short

1 MINUTE AGO: Answering these questions
1 HOUR AGO: Dinner
1 YEAR AGO: Homework

I LOVE: My family
I FEEL: Neutral
I HATE: Homework
I HIDE: My real thoughts...
I MISS: The holidays...

13 things PMS Stands for:

13. Pass My Shotgun
12. Psychotic Mood Swing
11. Perpetual Munching Spree
10. Puffy Mid-Section
9. People Make me Sick
8. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
6. Pimples May Surface
5. Pass My Sweats
4. Pissy Mood Syndrome
3. Poor Men Suck
2. Pack My Stuff
1. Potential Murder Suspect


1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Masturbate.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001 When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter animals in order to prevent unwanted animals. Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet. Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

- First Best Friend: This girl called Sandy in Primary School
- First Email Address: I'm not gonna put that up here, stalker!
- First Pet: A hamster. He died after a few hours of me throwing him up in the air - I was three
- First Piercing: None
- First Crush: Er, Gaspard Ulliel _-
- First CD: Delta Goodrem (Hey! I was in primary school!)
- First Car: I don't drive. And I don't think people will let me drive when I can :D
- First Stuffed Animal: A white Easter Bunny
- First thing you do in the morning: Read or try to go back to sleep
- First word: Mummy...yeah, original...

- Last Alcoholic Beverage: Well, I did accidentally drank a bit of my dad's beer when i was tasted shit...
- Last Car ride: To the train station to see the fireworks in the city
- Last Movie Seen: Twilight
- Last Phone Call: To dad, I was wishing him a Happy New Year
- Last Song Played: Decode by Paramore
- Last Bubble Bath: lol when I was 5
- Last time you had Mexican food: Ages ago
- Last book you read: The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

- Have you ever dated one of your best friends? No
- Have you ever been arrested? No
- Have you ever skinny dipped? No...
- Have you ever been on tv? Yep
- Have you ever kissed someone, and then regretted it? No
- Have you ever broken the law? Not that I would be telling you about...

Yet another Survey!! Double Yay!!

1. Where's #1 on your top 8? It's somewhere...

2. What is your favorite possession? Phone, Laptop, Ipod Nano

3. Do you own a gun? No...we're not allowed to have guns in Australia

4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say? I never had a boyfriend, but if I do...I wouldn't say anything

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Yes...

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Um...First Nowell?

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water and Hot Chocolate :)

9. Can you do a push up? Nup...I'm full of unco-ness

10. Is your bathroom clean? Usually...

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My 'Edward ring' which reminds me of the ring Edward gave to probably doesn't even look like it, but oh well...

12. Do you take painkillers? When I get period pains >_

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON TO GET BOYS?!

14. Do you have A.D.D.? (Attention Deficit Disorder) Sometimes...

15. What's your name? Nancy...but I go by alot of names >_>

16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment - Chasers' War on Everything, Twilight, my new Ipod Nano

17. Name the last 3 things you have bought A bracelet, train tickets, movie tickets

18. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink - Water, milk and Fanta

19. Current worry? That I will stuff up this school year

20. Current hate? Hannah Montana and Zac Efron

21. Favorite place(s) to be? In my study!

22. How did you bring in the New Year? Fireworks!! WOOOOH!!

23. Where would you like to go? Around the world

24. Do you own slippers? Yep

25. What shirt are you wearing? A black shirt

26. Favorite color(s)? Blue :D

27. Are you gay? Nope

28. Do you sing in the shower? No... maybe... yes, yes I do

29. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? I didn't have any - I was a bit brave :)

30. Best bed sheets as a child? Lavender ones _

31. Worst injury you've ever had? When I had a scar on my chin after hitting a table top when I was two

32. Who is your loudest friend? Alice/Mannat

33. Who is your most silent friend? Tash

34. Does someone have a crush on you? I dunno. You tell me

35. Do you wish on shooting stars? Yes. They don't work though :(

36. What is your favorite candy? Chocolate

37. What song(s) do/did you want played at your wedding? Pachelbel's Canon in D -sigh- So sweet...

38. What song(s) do you want played at your funeral? Clair de Lune by Debussy...

39. What were you doing @ 12 AM last night? Welcoming the New Year by screaming at the top of my lungs while watching the fireworks

40. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? mouth feels dry...

Write 11 of your fave Twilight characters in whatever order and follow the instructions below:

1. Edward Cullen
2. Bella Swan/Cullen

3. Alice Cullen
4. Renesmee Cullen
5. Emmett Cullen

6. Esme Cullen
7. Carlisle Cullen
8. Jasper Hale
9. Jacob Black
10. Seth Clearwater

11. Angela Weber

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?- Oh thank god no

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Um...probably to alot of guys...but not really me...

3) What would happen if Elevan got Eight pregnant? Um, it's probably better if Eight got Eleven pregnant, but Angela will probably become a vampire

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine? -yup

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple? EW!! Bella belongs to Edward and Esme belongs to Carlisle!!

6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten? -EW!! NO WAY NEVA

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and One in an awkward situation? Hehe, he'll probably go "The cottage was built for a reason!!"

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten Fanfic. -What happens when a shopping-deprived Alice plays fetch with a hyperactive werewolf called Seth? A wrecked tree, a dead mountain lion and a lost frisbee!

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff? -dear god I hope not

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Ten Hurt/Comfort fic. "Seth, I'm really sorry about this." Carlisle tried to soothe me as I just stood there in shock. My sister, my selfish, compassionless yet loving sister Leah...dead...

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to go out with One? EW!! INCEST!!

12) Does anyone on your friends list read Three slash? -no

13) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? -no

14) Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? -NO!

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion? - Um...I don't know...

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose? -Smile Like You Mean It by The Killers

17) If you wrote a One/Six/Ten fic, what would the warning be? - The following slash threesome will induce vomiting, headaches and anger. Please divert your eyes from it unless very prepared for the worse...

18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two? Who cares about the pickup line? Edward will slaughter him in seconds...

19) "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (9), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3)."

Edward and Carlisle are in a happy relationship (Oh God...) until Carlisle runs off with Renesmee (Ew ew EW!!) . Edward, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Angela (-Shudder-) and a brief unhappy affair with Jacob (OH GOD MY EYES!!) , then follows the wise advice of Emmett (HA!) and finds true love with Alice (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!).

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

Edward C
Edward Cu
Edward Cul
Edward Cull
Edward Culle
Edward Cullen
Edward Culle
Edward Cull
Edward Cul
Edward Cu
Edward C

This saying reminded me so much of Twilight, it's pathetic!!

When I first saw you...

I was afraid to meet you...

When I first met you...

I was afraid to kiss you...

When I first kissed you...

I was afraid to love you...

But now that I love you...

I'm afraid to lose you...

I found that little poem and I thought it matched the representation of Edward's take on Bella 100 percent perfectly!! If you think so too, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you're obsessed with Twilight, copy and paste this list into your profile, and add something to the list that proves you're obsessed. Lets see, dad told me I could read as much as I wanted Fri. but nothing Sat. so I satyed up til 3 reading Twilight then became obsessed with it after telling my friend that vampires were stupid and the books scared me. ANA YOU WERE RIGHT SORRY THANKS FOR CAUSING INSANITY! I am bookmarking all my favorite quotes and currently, before the quote from the back of the book, I have at least 8 times the number of stickies in Twilight than New Moon bc New Moon was awful. I listen to songs looking for twilightness and I am convinced that Taylor Swift loves Twilight! So Stay Beautiful. Emmett sings and dances in the lunch room, he throws Alice into the ocean, purposely tries to freak me and my friends out, Edward and Bella are in their meadow in my head, Jake is singing I'm Too Sexy even though he isn't, there was a Volvo in the parking lot and I went insane, you know what? Someone else can add something now, just read Dorks, I mean come on, outting fictional characters into your "life", I honestly think that my school principal is a vampire, and I'm writing a story based on it...

Edward vs Normal guys.

A normal guy would say: “I love you Baby!”
Edward Cullen would say: “You are my life now.”

Normal Guy would say: “I think I am falling for you.”
Edward Cullen would say: “The Lion fell in Love with the Lamb”

Normal Guy would say: “You hair looks like a haystack; go brush it!”
Edward Cullen would say: “Your hair looks like a haystack but I like it.”

A normal guy would pick a random song from a random artist and dedicate it to you.
Edward Cullen would sing you a song he wrote for you while playing the piano.

If you die, a normal guy would find another.
If you die, Edward would kill himself cause life without you isn’t worth living.

As you leave the house, a normal guy would say: “Bye, see ya!”
As you leave the house Edward Cullen would say: “Come back to me, love.”

As you come back to the house, a normal guy would be watching TV and wouldn’t even notice.
As you come back to the house, Edward Cullen would be welcoming you by playing the piano with a song just for you.

A normal guy would wait for you to make him breakfast.
Edward Cullen would make you breakfast everyday.

While you are both out for dinner, a normal guy wouldn’t keep his eyes off the sexy waitress.
Edward Cullen wouldn’t even notice the waitress was a female.

A normal guy, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and one hand on the radio.
Edward Cullen, while driving, would keep one hand on the wheel and the other attached to yours.

While far apart in different places, a normal guy would say: “I miss you.”
While far apart in different places, Edward Cullen would say: “It’s like you’ve taken half myself with you”

A normal guy wouldn’t care or notice if you had nightmares.
Edward Cullen would sing until your nightmares went away.
“Do you want me to sing to you? I’ll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away.”

A normal guy buys you flowers and chocolates.
Edward Cullen buys you a car.

"If tears could build a stairway,
And memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to Heaven,
And bring you home again."

Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."

"They say that time heals all wounds, but all it's done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you."

"Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal."

And I love you.

5 ways to open a banana:

1. Hack it into small pieces and then use a spoon to get the little pieces of banana out of their little peels.

2. Tie the banana to a tank of gas then throw the tank into the air and shoot a flaming arrow through it.

3. Stomp on it until the insides squishes out through the top.

4. Drill a hole through it and then use a toothpick to get the insides of the banana out.

And last but not least...

5. Simply peel it.

Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I kissed
April--I licked
May--I jumped on
June--I smelled
July--I did the Macarena With
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1--a birdbath
2--a monster
3--a phone
4--a fork
5--a snowman
6--a gangster
7--my mobile phone
8--my dog
9--my best friends' boyfriend
10--my neighbor
11--my science teacher
12--a banana
13--a fireman
14--a stuffed animal
15--a goat
16--a pickle
17--your mom
18--a spoon
19-- - a smurf
20--a baseball bat
21--a ninja
22--Chuck Norris
23--a noodle
24--a squirrel
25--a football player
26--my sister
27--my brother
28--an ipod
29--a surfer
30--a llama
31--A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White--because I'm cool like that
Black--because that's how I roll.
Pink--because I'm crazy.
Red--because the voices told me to.
Blue--because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green--because I think I need some serious help.
Purple--because I'm AWESOME!
Gray--because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown--because I can..
Other--because I'm a Ninja!
None--because I can't control myself!

I promise to remember Bella

Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward

Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws

For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle

Whenever I am in the emergency room

And I promise to remember Emmett

Everytime there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose

Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice

When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie

When I see that beautiful bronze hair

And I promise to remember Esme

When someone tells me they care

I promise to remember Jasper

Whenever my stomach isn't curled

And I promise to remember the Volturi

When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes, I promise to love Twilight

Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession

Because I know what the Twilighters know

~Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...~


1. Know how to make you smile when you are down .
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence ...
4. Give you the remote control during the game .
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you .
6. Play with your hair .
7. His hands always find yours .
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
9. Offer you plenty of massages .
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .
11... Never run out of love.
12. Be funny , but know how to be serious .
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious .
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
16. Smile a lot.
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you.
18. Appreciate you.
19. Help others out.
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching.
22. Sing , even if he can't.
23. Have a creative sense of humor ...
24. Stare at you.
25. Call for no reason .
26. Quit smoking , chewing , drinking , or drugs - just because he loves u that much to quit it.

Excerpt from a dog's diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM – Dog food for dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary.

Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage...

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Dedicated to Twilight:

10 Ways to Annoy the Cullens

10. Visit Carlisle at the hospital for every papercut, hiccough, and scrape imaginable.
9. Have ornate coffins delivered to the Cullens for Christmas with a note saying "Just in case you get tired".
8. Replace all of Bella's jeans and t-shirts with pink lace and frilly dresses.
7. Every time Esme starts a redecorating project tell her "That's not how Martha Stewart would have done it."
6. When Emmett is trying to watch a game on TV, talk the whole time, keep asking him what is happening, or just keep babbling.
5. Lock Alice's closet…and give the key to Jacob.
4. Start a food fight….with Rosalie as the target.
3. Show up at the Cullen house as Dracula on Halloween and run around yelling "I vant to suck your blood!"
2. Get Edward a BeDazzler for Christmas.
1. Ship mood rings to Jasper and ask him to test them for accuracy.

Edward Pick-up Lines:

10. “I have a private island. Wanna see it?”

9. “Pardon me Miss. I…uhh..hello? Dang it! She fainted again. Why can’t I stop dazzling people?”

8. “Cullen. Edward Cullen.”

7. “Hi, I’m Edward. I can be the super hero or the bad guy.”

6. “I play the field. And it looks like I just hit a home run with you.”

5. “I’m an addict. Will you be my heroin?”

4. “Have you been drinking? Or do I intoxicate you?”

3. “Hi. The voices in my head just told me to come talk to you.”

2. “My sister can see the future. Let me give you a clue, it’s Me + You.”

1. “Am I dead? Because I think I just met an angel.”

You Know You're Addicted to Twilight when...

1. You have 10 full pages of Twilight sayings, quotes, graphics, and pictures.

2. At the top of your List of Destinations is Forks, Washington.

3. After Edward Cullen, the boys in your class just don't look as good as they used to.

4. Twilight is your new favorite time of day.

5. You and your friends have looooooooong and heated discussion over who's better, the werewolves or the vampires.

6. Your dogs have names like Sam, Jacob, and Leah. Your cats have names like Edward, Alice, and Bella.

7. Your bumperstickers say thing like "I heart EC" or "I run with werewolves" or "Who needs dracula when you've got Edward Cullen?"

8. Your dream car: a silver Volvo.

9. Whenever there's a thunder storm, you go out looking for vampires playing baseball.

10. You like your men cold dead and sparkling!

11.. Your having trouble dealing with the fact that Edward Cullen is a fictional character.

12. You tell people: Read Twilight or I'll provoke the Volturi and blame you!"

13. You need the next book like a crack-head needs his next hit.

14. Edward Cullen helped you get over your ex.

15. Your stay single until you find a vampire.

16. None of the above behaviors seem odd to you.

50 Things that no twilight fangirl is ever allowed to do.

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.

Opening Credits:
Moonlight - Yiruma

Eyes on Fire - Blue Foundation

First day at school:
Full Moon - Black Ghosts

Falling in Love:
Somebody Told Me - The Killers

Fight Song:
Time Is Running Out - Muse

Breaking Up:
Time Stands Still - All-American Rejects

Carmen - Overture - Bizet

Four Seasons - Summer - Presto - Antonio Vivaldi

Mental Breakdown:
Danse Macabre - Camille Saint-Saens

Hungarian Dance No.5 - Brahms

Four Seasons - Winter 1st Mvt - Antonio Vivaldi

Maybe - Yiruma

Birth Of Child:
Symphony No.7 2nd Mvt - Ludwig van Beethoven


Final Battle:
Who Are They? - Carter Burwell

Death Scene:
All I Ever Wanted - Jim Brickman

Prelude, Op. 28, No.4 in Eminor - Chopin

End Credits:
You Found Me - The Fray

Twilight made me:

1. Excited when I saw a Silver Volvo

2. Anxious when I walk into a ballet studio

3. Want to be a vampire, as well as making up awesome abilities

4. Change my state of mind, I put the world in more detail

5. Want to move to Forks, and see if there are 5 vampires staring back at me when I walk into the cafeteria

6. Twilight made me realise that I'd rather spend my time writing fan fic's than doing homework

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished

that her dad would come home from

the army, because he'd been having

problems with his heart and right

leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made

her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes

later), the doorbell rang, and

there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been

having trouble in my job and on the

verge of quitting. I made a simple

wish that my boss would get a new

job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55

there was an announcement that he

was promoted and was leaving for

another city. Believe me...this

really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years

of age. I had always been single

and had been hoping to get into a

nice, loving relationship for many

years. While kind of daydreaming

(and right after receiving this email)

I wished that a quality person would

finally come into my life. That was at

9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM

a FedEx delivery man came into my

office.He was cute, polite and

could not stop smiling at me. He

started coming back almost everyday

(even without packages) and asked me

out a week later. We married 6

months later and now have been

happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but

while you do, think of a wish.

Make your wish when you have completed

scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the

number of minutes it will take for your

wish to come true. are 25 years

old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish

to come true).

Go for it!



Congratulations! Your wish will

now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this

can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.

something major that you've been wanting

will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!


Try it without looking at answers

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator...)

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number….

5) Add the digits together

Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL
is from the list below :

1. Einstein

2. Nelson Mandela

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. Brad Pitt

8. Hitler


10. Barack Obama

I know...I just have that effect on day you too can be like me... :) Believe it!

PS. Stop picking different numbers. I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!

Now copy and paste this into your profile, and change your name in #9.

There was
a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She
hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always
there for her. She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see
the world, I will marry you.'

One day,
someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages
came off, she was able to see everything, including her

He asked
her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?' The
girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The
sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected
that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life
led her to refuse to marry him.

boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her
saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before
they were yours, they were mine.'

Edward Cullen
██ 10 FuNnY
███ 20 Masochistic
████ 30 CoNtrAdiCtInG
█████ 40 MiNd ReAdeR
██████ 50 InTeLLiGenT
███████ 60 HoTT
█████████ 70 BeAutIfuL
██████████ 80 LoVAbLe
███████████ 90 VaMpIrE
█████████████ 100 BrEatHtAKiNg

1. If someone says "What's wrong?" how do you respond:

'Iris' by Goo Goo Dolls (...Okay, I guess...)

2. Your first kiss:
"Goodnight, My Angel' by Billy Joel (Awww...Sweet...)

3. A pet passes away:
'Moonlight' by Yiruma (It's a bit sad...)

4. Moving into a new house:
'The Wizard and I' from the musical 'Wicked' (WTF?!)

5. You or your partner is announced pregnant:
'Romeo and Juliet Love Theme' (Okay then...)

6. You find out that you lost all of your money:
'My Never' by Blue October (Um...)

7. How do you feel today:
'The Great Escape' by Boys Like Girls (Yeah, I feel like escaping...)

8. Your thoughts on your crush?
'Thunder' by Boys Like Girls (Hmmm...Pretty cool...)

9. What is 7 + 82?
'Congratulations' by Blue October (Er, no)

10. How would you describe your personality:
'Decode' by Paramore (...)

11. Your biggest secret:
'Overweight' by Blue October (Makes sense in a way)

12. Thoughts on your best friend:
'Apocalypse Please' by Muse (...Huh?)

13. Thoughts on your socks:
'You Found Me' by The Fray (Other way round dude)

14. Something you notice about the opposite sex:
'Love Me' by Yiruma (...Their love?)

15. Thoughts on your last boyfriend/girlfriend:
'When You Were Young' by The Killers (Yeah, never had a boyfriend...)

16. What's your life story:
'Five Minutes To Midnight' by Boys Like Girls (What the...?)

17. Your motto:
'Spotlight' by Mutemath (YOU'RE ONE OF US!!)

18. Song at your funeral:
'Moonlight Sonata' by Beethoven (It WAS supposed to be a funeral march...)

19. Something you think about daily:
'Hero/Heroine' by Boys Like Girls (Um, no...)

20. Your life purpose:
'Defying Gravity' from the musical 'Wicked' (Ah...)

21. Your friends thoughts of you:
'Move Along' by the All-American rejects (...About Edward?)

22. Your favorite hobby/interest:
'It Ends Tonight' by the All-American Rejects (Um, okay then...)

This is a strictly mathematical goes like this:
What Makes 100? What does it mean to give MORE than 100? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100. How about achieving 103? What makes up 100 in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.


8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98


11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96
But ,

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100


2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.
Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

List 100 things about your self

1) Name: Nancy

2) Male/Female:

3) Were you named after anyone?: Nancy Reagan

4) Does your name mean anything?: Apparently it means 'Full of Grace'...Wow...

5) Nick Name(s): Nancinator, TDIB, Nance...Weirdo...

6) What do you think you look like: ummmm

7) Date Of Birth: May 20th

8) Place of Birth and Current Location: Sydney Australia

9) Nationality: Aussie-Chinese

10) Astrology Sign: Taurus

11) Chinese Astrology Sign: Not telling

12) Religion: IDK?

13) What’s your favorite smell?: Clean smells and oceon smell

14) Political Position?: Labor

15) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?: Water

16) Hair + Eye color: Black hair, brown eyes

17) Do you look like anyone famous?: ...

18) What do you look like?: A normal human being?

19) Any unusual talents?: Extra hyper?

20) Rightly, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?: righty

21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other?: Straight

22) What do you do for a living?: I'm still a student.

23) What do you do for fun?: Fanfiction, videos, , watch t.v, piano, talk to friends

24) What are your favorite art materials to work with?: Don't care

25) What kind of materials would you like to work with?: IDK

26) Have you met your grandparents?: Yes

27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: ...Nope...


29) What celebrity would you date if you could?: Taylor Lautner/Robert Pattinson

30) Current worries?: Homework/HSC

31) Favorite online Guy/Girl(s):
Bored of chatting now.

32) Favorite place to be?: My room/Anywhere with an avalible computer and a t.v of course.

33) Least favorite place to be?: ...

34) Do you burn or tan?: Tan

35) Ever break a bone?: Nope...

36) What is your favorite cereal?: Crunchy Nut Cornflakes

37) Person you cry with: Me, myself and I

38) Any sisters: Nope

39) Any brothers: ...Nope...

40) Any pets: 2 dogs, 3 fishes

42) A Pager: Never

43) A Personal phone line: nope

44) A Cell phone: yay!

45) A visible birthmark: My thigh

46) A Pool or hot tub: pool

47) A Car: Audi R8

Describe Your... Hyperactive, crazy, Twilight Obsessed, Team Edward, Anti-Jacob...Freak...

48) Personality: weired..and crazy

49) Driving: Not yet...

50) Your clothing style: ...Weird?

51) Room: Quite tidy

52) What’s missing?: Edward Cullen

53) School:

54) Bed: Comfortable...

55) Relationship with your parent(s): Good

56) Do you believe in yourself: I wish I could, but nope.

57) Do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes
58) Consider yourself a good listener:

59) Have a future dream that you would like to share?: Edward Cullen
60) Get Along with your parents:

61) Save your e-mail conversations: Only if I like the conversations.

62) Pray: whaaaaaa.

63) Believe in reincarnation: If that's what happens after we die, then yes.

64) Brush your teeth twice a day?: Someone have to force me at night.

65) Like to talk on the phone:OMG YES!

66) Like to eat?: YES!!

67) Like to exercise?: HELL NO!

68) Like to watch sports?: HELL NO! I'm not the sports type of girl.

69) Sing in the car?: No...

70) What is a dream that you have all the time?: Me getting to meet the Twilight characters

71) Dream in color: Yep

72) Do you have nightmares?: -sigh- yes...

73) Sleep with a stuffed animal:

74) Right next to you: Baby Minnie-Mouse and a big green dumpling

75) On your favorite coffee cup?: Hate coffee.

76) On your mouse pad: Nothing...

77) Your favorite flavor of gum?: mint

78) Your brand of deodorant?

79) Your dream honeymoon spot: Paris

80) Your dream husband/wife: EDWARD CULLEN!

81) Hiding in your closet?, Childhood stuff

82) Under your bed: Dust

83) The name of one of your closest/best friends? Tash!

84) Your bad time of the day: Time school begins

85) Your worst fear(s): Failing the HSC

86) What's the weather like: Sunny...

87) Your favorite time of year?: Spring/Autumn

88) Your favorite holiday?: CHRISTMAS!

89) A material weakness?: CHOCOLATE!!

90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: Shark's fin...

91) At the top of your "to-do list"?: Make a to do list.

92) The hardest thing about growing up: Life

93) A pet peeve?: Where to begin...?

94) Your scariest moment: Riding the giant swing

95) Your attitude about love?: it's an awesome gift!

96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex?: ...Stalking...

97) The worst feeling in the world: Getting a shitty mark...

98) The best feeling in the world: Getting a really good mark...

99) Who sent this to you?: No one, I found it.

100) 6 people you tag: IDK

iPod Shuffle Game

Put your ipod on shuffle and answer the questions with each song that comes up. No cheating!

#1- What do people assume when they first look at me?

'Butterflies and Hurricanes' - Muse

#2- What will be a big challenge in life for me?

'Apocalypse Please' - Muse

#3- Am I good boyfriend/girlfriend?

'Defying Gravity' - Wicked Musical

#4- Do I have a secret admirer?

'All These Things that I've Done' - The Killers

#5- Will I ever become manically depressed during my life?

'Time Stands Still' - All-American Rejects

#6- Is someone trying to kill me?

'Go All the Way (Into the Twilight) - Perry Farrell

#7- What is my sexual preference?

'Unintended' - Muse

#8- What am I afraid of?

'Stockholm Syndrome' - Muse

#9- What will I be doing in a few years?

'Mr Brightside' - The Killers

#10- What is some good advice for me?

'Resistance' - Muse

#11- What should I do instead of this quiz?

'Slow Life' - Grizzly Bear with Victoria Legend

#12- Will I get married?

'Hearing Damage' - Thom Yorke

#13- What is the story of my life?

'Hero/Heroine' - Boys Like Girls

#14- How will I get ahead in life?

'Flightless Bird, American Mouth' - Iron & Wine

#15- What is the best thing about my friends?

'Jerk It Out' - The Caesars

#16- What song describes me best?

'Newborn' - Muse

#17- How does the world see me?

'No Sound But the Wind' - Editors

#18- Will I have a happy life?

'It Sucks to be Me' - Avenue Q Musical

#19- How can I make myself happy?

'Spotlight' - Mutemath

#20- What should I do with my life?

'I Belong to You (New Moon Remix)' - Muse

#21- Will I ever have children?

'Meet Me on the Equinox' - Death Cab for Cutie

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Emmett's Guide to Survive High School by TheBoleynLegacy reviews
With these tips invented by Emmett you are guaranteed to survive the most agonizing, miserable and painful years of your life, otherwise known as high school.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 58 - Words: 21,809 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 1/5/2016 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Emmett - Complete
170 Things I'm Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts by Cliodhna reviews
170 tales of rules Fred and George broke during their time at Hogwarts. Ten new tales including 'I will not to sell inaccurate maps of Hogwarts to the first years,' and 'I will not get Hermione Granger drunk.' R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 60,741 - Reviews: 715 - Favs: 1,449 - Follows: 669 - Updated: 10/28/2015 - Published: 9/27/2008 - George W., Fred W.
Queen Bee of Forks High Senior High School by JuliaCullen.s2 reviews
What happens when a self-proclaimed 'queen bee' by the name of Jessica Stanley tries to squeeze herself into a non-existent space between Edward and Bella?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 61,787 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 5/20/2011 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Edward, Bella
Pranks and Games Cullen Style by HPTL reviews
Whenever the Cullens go to a new town, they let them know who their messing with. What happens when they run into some old High School classmates? ALL VAMPIRES! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 22,194 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 7/14/2010 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Complete
Twilight Mailbag! by pinkcrayon1101 reviews
This is a Q and A session with all of your favorite characters from Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. It's rated "T" just in case. Better summary inside! Please read it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,149 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 7/12/2008
HOW TO ANNOY OUR FAVORITE VAMPIRES by ireadway2much reviews
These aren't just lists for those little vampire friends of mine, but the whole twilight gang! join me on my quest to find what would really tick them off!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 5,341 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 5/26/2010 - Published: 7/17/2008
The New Twilight: Starring you by Fleur du Destin reviews
If you ever wanted to be in twilight this is for you. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight and I probably never will. Still need more characters! REWRITE DONE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,483 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 3/16/2010 - Published: 10/31/2008
88 things the Twilight movie has taught us! by MyBoyfriendEdwardSparkles reviews
Twilight? Not educational? YEAH RIGHT!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,109 - Reviews: 829 - Favs: 314 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 1/27/2010 - Published: 8/10/2009
Chicken Soup For The Immortal Soul by Chibi-Kyo-Chan reviews
Basically a bunch of drabbles about our favorite Cullen family. Read if You Dare. Warning may hurt your sides from laughing to hard ;P
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 4,390 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Twilight Commercials: The Series by pandorasnotebook reviews
Popular commercials written TWILIGHT STYLE! What more can I say...R&R
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,527 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 5/25/2008
Twenty Bucks In Twenty Seconds by FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut reviews
The characters of Twilight are put to the test as they try to win 20 dollars by answering as many questions as possible in 20 seconds. Dont you want to know about Alices favourite brands, Bellas wiggles fixation, or who EDWARD would turn gay for?-COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,385 - Reviews: 979 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 12/13/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Willy by InsertWittyUsernameHere reviews
What happens when the word “wand” in Harry Potter is replaced with “willy”? Well, hilarity ensues. Here are my favourite Willy quotes from Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. There’s a lot . Enjoy!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 642 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/8/2009
50 Things To Do When You're Bored Vampire Style by Lost in Believing reviews
50 Things To Do When You're Bored. Cullen Style. Except now Bella is one of them. Sometimes other people are bought into the insaness. You never know what they are up to now...Since nothing is holding them back now. Chapter 6: Canoeing Pumpkin Style
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,037 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 4/6/2009
A Pick Up Line a Day Keeps Lily Evans Away by fairytalefantasistx3 reviews
James Potter's pick-up lines annoy Lily, but they provide amusement for the rest of us.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 9,200 - Reviews: 1286 - Favs: 477 - Follows: 388 - Updated: 11/7/2009 - Published: 1/17/2009 - Lily Evans P., James P.
35 things by HRHPrincessTricia reviews
Thirty Five things I do not beleive will ever happen in twilight, and am sick of seeing posted again and again. Now complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,292 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/13/2009 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Complete
101 Ways to Kill Umbridge by Espoir Noir reviews
Sick to death of his DADA professor, Ron decided to compile this list.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,657 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 434 - Follows: 289 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 12/3/2007 - Ron W., Dolores U.
Five Things Bella Doesn't Know About Edward by speakingwordsofwisdom reviews
Says it in the title. One shot. Tell me what you think! :
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 979 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by Patronus Charm reviews
Title pretty much explains all. Not my best fic as it has no plot but hey read it any way. First Chapter is Edward Cullen. Contest results now UP! NOW COMPLETE! Please read the Authors Note!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 12,266 - Reviews: 800 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
The Nudist Colony by FuzzyWuzzyWithBadHaircut reviews
A pranking war with a difference, Emmett in a g-string, Jasper's blue balls and the great volleyball incident? What else can you expect when the Cullen’s and Denali’s go to a nudist colony for one VERY interesting 1960’s summer vacation!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,546 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 4/18/2009 - Complete
EDWARD CULLEN by omaigooo reviews
If you are reading this, that means you've just purchased your very own EDWARD CULLEN. Go throught the guide for more information on the item purchased.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,238 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 5/11/2009 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Edward - Complete
Official Fanfiction University of Twilight by Kythi Ravenswing reviews
Because you have to admit, it really needs one. If you don't know what an OFU is, search. They've got a billion of 'em. Warning: contains mini-Volvos. Application form inside. Wildest parody you've probably ever seen of this fandom.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,615 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 4/24/2009 - Published: 3/1/2009
50 Things To Do When You're Bored by Lost in Believing reviews
50 Things To Do When You're Bored. Cullen Style. You never know what could happen in the Cullen Household. Hilarity ensured for some chapters. Sometimes other people are brought into the craziness...All 50 Things To Do When You're Bored. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 76,434 - Reviews: 3229 - Favs: 951 - Follows: 440 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Complete
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2808 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
101 ways to know your obsessed with twilight by Twilight-lover-2008 reviews
Yeah, pretty much says in the title. Please read and review. Send me some of the things you've done aswell
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,646 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/28/2009 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Bella, Edward
Harry Potter Pick Up lines by TheLittlestVAMPIRE10 reviews
not mine, found it on Facebook and wanted to share. funny, stupid pickup lines.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,350 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/4/2008 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Complete
forever hold your peace by edward.cullen.luv reviews
mike tries to crash bella's wedding? FUN! read and review! virtual cookies available for reviews! kinda OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,081 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/18/2008 - Published: 7/13/2008 - Mike - Complete
Warning: May Irritate Harry Potter Characters by fairytalefantasistx3 reviews
Ever wanted to know how to cause the Harry Potter characters to spontaneously combust? No? Ah, well - I've decided to tell you anyway. Ten ways to annoy the heck out of each Harry Potter character... read, enjoy, and please review!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 3,598 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 10/14/2008 - Published: 9/1/2008
How to Annoy Jacob Black by AwesomeVampire reviews
Edward and Rae have a bet. But what happens when the loser has to stay with Jacob Black for one week? find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,411 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/5/2008 - Published: 5/2/2008
Photo Scavenger Hunt:Cullen Style by Izzy Masen reviews
Bella and the Cullens are off to the mall for a photo scavenger hunt. Who will win? What do they win? Why does Emmett get kicked out of Victoria's secret? Stay tuned to find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,579 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 10/5/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008
The Third Canidate by Salted Top Hat reviews
It is the 2008 presidential election, and thousands of people are tuning in to see who will be president. Liberal Obama, Vietnam Fighter John Mccain, and...ALICE CULLEN? Is it the end of the world or another hair brained scheme? FUNNY IS GURANTEED! R&R! :
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 991 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 15 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Alice
How to Tick Off HP Haters by mclovin87 reviews
After Emmett gets the 7th Harry Potter book, he realizes Rosalie doesn't like the books! *Gasp* Based on the Mugglenet fun list "120 Ways to Agitate Someone Who Doesn't Like Harry Potter" CHAPTER 3 IS UP!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,603 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 9/10/2008 - Published: 8/1/2008
Bella Takes A Survey by pleasebiteme reviews
Bella takes a Myspace survey and gets the rest of the Cullens into taking some too... R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,937 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 5/27/2008 - Complete
Revenge Is Sweet by Reigns Wondering Thoughts reviews
Lauren and Jessica have been cruel to everyone. Its time for everyone to get their revange.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,486 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Complete
BLACKOUT by bmw72792 reviews
What would happen if Forks had a major blackout? What crazy things will the Cullen's do? Read and find out! they're vampires....same couples
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,088 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 5/20/2008
Twilighter's Anonymous by WorseGamesToPlay reviews
The story of a few Twilightaholics & the mischief they get into. Click here and find out. Special thanks to Jessie; and to a review I received which gave me the idea CHAPTER 15 the Bridzillas, and a new chapter about BD is now up! Read and Review! GO Read
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 20,443 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 4/3/2008
Sex Addicts Anonymous! by Katxo reviews
Carisle is fed up with Emmet and Rosalie’s overly expressive sexual relationship, so he decides to send them to private sessions for sex addicts anonymous! Em&R, A&J, E&B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 40,906 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 3/13/2008 - Complete
Cullen Fan Mail! by royailight reviews
Got a question for the Cullens? Ask them! It's as easy as replying! Just a random fic about the Cullen's answering their fan mail! Please R'n'R. Rated T for language, letter content, fangirl wars,and me being on crack O.o
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,625 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/4/2008 - Published: 2/13/2008
Prank Calls by eyesofevergreen reviews
Companion peice to my story "Vampire Girl" What do the Cullen boys do when everyone is out hunting and they get bored. They prank call the unsuspecting members of the Volturi. Who said Aro was the only one they called?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 7/30/2008
Skunked! by PhoenixReckless reviews
Edward gets back from the worst hunting trip of his life! He ends up skunked and it's up to Jasper and Emmett to get rid of the stink!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 7,220 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/28/2008 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Edward - Complete
Flirty moments with Edward by Twilightistotallyawesome reviews
Before Bella came along, all the girls in Forks High fell for Emmett and Jasper. But mostly Edward! These are all there flirty moments that have been failed. Review please -working on chapter 4-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,117 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/27/2008 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Edward
The Girl's Jealousy by Edwardcullenmyboyfreind reviews
Jessica's Thoughts on Bella/Alice/Edward. And now Lauren trys to flirt! TITLE CHANGED, used to be:jealousy jessica style
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,444 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/23/2008 - Published: 4/9/2008
Fun at the gym by Emily Mood reviews
The Cullens pull some fun pranks at the local gym.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,854 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 7/14/2008 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Bella, Emmett
How to Get Kicked Out of the Mall by The Real Mrz.Black reviews
Emmett got bored, and decided to see how long it would take him to get kicked out of the mall. This can not be good at all. Post Truth or Dare.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 984 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/6/2008 - Published: 7/5/2008 - Emmett
Edward Finds Fanfiction by PockyxPocky reviews
Edward, everyone's favorite innocent virgin vampire finds some not so innocent entries on a fan fiction sight! About him! *Le Gasp* Just when someone walks in... no description of what he reads! sorry but the reactions are all good R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,938 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/4/2008 - Published: 6/28/2008 - Edward
Rosalie Gets a Tan by Glitterized reviews
Rosalie decides that a tan would make her more beautiful. She buys tanning lotion. Orange-ness ensues.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/3/2008
The Essential Guide to Eragon Mary Sue by Emerald Tiara reviews
We've all encountered her. We all have many futile attempts of avoidence to our name. We must learn how to defend ourselves. We must fight! discontinued
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,390 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 4/26/2008 - Published: 11/6/2006
What to Do When: A Guide To Surviving Hogwarts by Moony8193 reviews
After his insane seven years at Hogwarts, James Potter has decided to write a guide to survive everything from Hagrid's cooking to when crazed squirrels attack your Potions class. Hilarious, if I do say so myself. James POV.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 39,221 - Reviews: 289 - Favs: 113 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 3/15/2008 - Published: 6/25/2007 - James P., Lily Evans P.
The Other Dumbledore by Prieda Solo reviews
Twenty things that nobody ever knew about Aberforth Dumbledore. Little one shot, just having a look around at the character.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 678 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 15 - Published: 10/30/2007 - Albus D. - Complete
Biased by Misanagi reviews
Sirius can't quite be impartial when commentating a Quidditch match and even less when one James Potter is playing.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,606 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 18 - Published: 10/12/2007 - Sirius B., Minerva M. - Complete
Ways to Humiliate, Annoy or Infuriate Draco Malfoy by Valentine's Riddle reviews
Ask him advice on what to do when your tattoo gets infected. In front of McGonagall. If you survive that, there's 49 other suggestions! Enjoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 933 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/19/2007 - Draco M. - Complete
But I'm a Cheerleader by Atalanta Pendragonne reviews
A slight disruption at a Quidditch match.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 927 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Plotline Parodies reviews
What readers don't need is another story with unoriginal characters & cliched plots. What the Twilight characters don't need is a fan popping up in their world and ruining the story and their lives. From the author of "The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show".
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 29,764 - Reviews: 269 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 4/7/2010 - Published: 12/21/2008
The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show! reviews
Sick and tired of Bella tripping over empty air, and Alice doing nothing but shop? Wouldn't you rather see Jacob dance on the coffee table half-naked, and Mike being pelted with tomatoes? The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show is for you! NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 54,457 - Reviews: 707 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 4/28/2009 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Complete
You're Obsessed with Twilight Fanfiction when reviews
The foolproof way to know that you don't have a life beyond both Twilight and the internet! From the creator of 'The Crappy Twilight Cliches Show'. Rated T because I'm paranoid. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 8,073 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 1/13/2009 - Published: 8/4/2008 - Complete
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  1. Crazy with Vampires in it
    Books Twilight