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Joined 07-08-08, id: 1628003, Profile Updated: 06-26-09
Author has written 1 story for Naruto.

Name: Helen Feel free to call me Miss, Violin, Pin, Zygote, Billy-Bob, or anything you want really, just as long as I know you're talking to me.

Age: 15 Almost 16! (Kind of.)

Favorite Anime/Manga: Naruto NINJAPWNAGE, Death Note My first manga love, Ouran Highschool Host Club finds cross-dressing adorable, Bleach Only about half though, for some reason I just can't get past the arrancar arc, Skip Beat Acting is fun!, FullMetal Alchemist I... do I really nead a reason? It's just awesome!, Bakuman Makes me want to become a mangaka. Then I remember I can't draw.

Favorite Books/Series: Harry Potter My true book love. It's perfect and sacred to me; I can't even bring myself to read fanfiction about it. The Bartimaeus Trilogy Footnotes! :D Read it, it's a great series. Lamb The gospel according to Biff, Christ's childhood friend. Bloodsucking Fiends Far more entertaining than Twilight. Twilight But Twilight ain't too bad. Movie made me want to scratch my eyes out though. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 6 x 9 = 42

Favorite Movies: Slumdog Millionare Best movie I've ever seen, Up Funny and cute, Mulan My favorite Disney movie, Hercules Second favorite, Independence Day Will Smith + Aliens = Great Movie, Men In Black See before, Monty Python and the Holy Grail One, two, five! No three!

Favorite Music: Caramelldansen Yes, I actually like the song, not just the dancing anime characters, Total Eclipse of the Heart Is currently stuck in my head eye twitch, Almost by Bowling for Soup, 1985 again by BFS, Don't Stop Believing Glee rocked this song, Still Alive Look at me still talking when there's science to do... Chariots of Fire Theme You know, the one that's always played during slow motion scenes, 99 Red Balloons Because 100 is just too much, I'm Yours Admit it. It's the fluffiest song on the planet.


Yaoi Because I can and it's hot.

NaruSasuNaru See above + I like their personalities together

KakaIru See above + first Naruto fanfiction pairing love

Sakura Wtf is up with Sakura bashing? I LIKE Sakura. She's one of my favorite characters. She's smart and has personality. So she's not as awesome as her teammates, so what? So's a good 85 percent of the Naruto cast. And post-Shippuden Sakura kicks butt anyways. If you don't like her paired with someone, you don't need to pair them with eachother. If you don't like her, don't write about her. I just find excessive bashing immature and annoying.

Crack Pairings When written well. Fanfiction that can make me love a pairing I never considered in Hell is amazing, plus it's fun and refreshing to pair characters in new ways. Besides, it's not like we'll ever get to see these pairings in cannon, so the fanfics give us something new.

Floccinaucinihilipilification The longest word in the English language and I can spell it by memory (Useless talent #7)

xkcd.com The best webcomics on the planet and the origin of my avatar.

Fanfiction I'm here, aren't I?

I REALLY Don't Mind:

NaruSaku They are a cute couple and their personalities go well together. But SasuNaruSasu attacked me first. I don't read much fanfiction of it because there's a good chance it'll be in cannon. I read fanfiction for stuff that almost certainly WON'T happen in cannon. It's like the point of fanfiction.

NaruHina See above

School Maybe if it wasn't so damn early

Gender Don't give a crap about it, I like people for people. Yes, I suppose that makes me Bi.

The Violin Despite what my name might lead you to believe, I'm really quite bad at playing violin. I DO have a spiffy violin pin though. And, violins are amazing when played well.

I REALLY Don't Like:

SasuSaku No offense SasuSaku lovers. I just can't picture it. Maybe in shippuden, MAYBE. But it would still have too much angst for me.

Angst Angst for some story devolopment = GOOD. Angst + More angst + Plus Struggles + Tragedy + More depression than a Russian novel = Not my cup o' tea. I like a bit of angst here and there but excessively? It's boring, repetitive and, well, DEPRESSING. It doesn't have to be Disney, but I like even a mildly happy ending.

Bashing Again, if you don't like someone? Don't write/read about them. Don't like a pairing? Don't write/read about it. Go ahead and say you don't like it, give reasons for not liking it if you want. Just respect people who DO like that pairing/character and don't write entire stories insulting them, it really is pointless, immature and annoying.

BAD GRAMMAR AND SPELLING OHMYGAHDHOWTHEHELLDDIDSOMEOFTHESEPEOPLEPASSENGLISH? I have read too many stories that I just couldn't finish because of distracting errors. A mistake here and there? Ok, that's fine. Everyone does that. Forgetting to capitalize names, textspeaking, and/or mispelled words every other sentance? Get me a bucket, I'm gonna hurl. And don't pass it off as "I'm bad at spelling/grammar". If you know you're bad, get better or get a beta.

My Fanfics In Progress:

Neji's Fault: Multichapter AU ShikaHina First story! I wanted to make Hinata a cross-dresser. And somehow, it needed to be Neji's fault. Should be between five and ten chapters I think. :P

Fanfics To Come:

Surgeon General: Multichapter AU KabutoxHinata Romance/Drama About 10 chapters long. Hinata is 23 and has never had a boyfriend. That is, until a dashing silver-haired surgeon saves her life and sweeps her off her feet. Everything is going swimmingly, but what is Kabuto hiding? And why is Neji suspicious? Much thanks to Adelaide 'Adell' Peirce for suggesting the pairing. And yes, it is drama and will contain more serious themes than Neji's Fault. There will be humor in there too of course.

Criss Cross (tenatively named): Multichapter cannonverse! :D Iruka and Anko used to be the picture perfect mildly dysfunctional couple. Until they broke up 3 years ago. Shizune knows they still have feelings for each other, so she enlists the help of Kakashi in a plan to get them back together. How? By forcing them to realise their feelings through jealousy. That's right, Shizune's pretending to date Iruka while Kakashi pretends to woo Anko. But what if feelings start to rise... between the wrong couples? This has been bouncing around in my head for nearly a year now. :P Still in the plotting stages, not sure about the length.

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Explosive by kaotic312 reviews
Sequel to MARRY MY FATHER PLEASE? Rated M. Firecrackers and Cupcakes don't go together, do they? Gaara/Hanabi and Kiba/Shiho. No it's not misspelled. Not Shino. Shiho. Not an OC if you're not up to date on the current manga by the way.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 83 - Words: 444,605 - Reviews: 2768 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 397 - Updated: 11/3/2012 - Published: 1/25/2008 - Gaara, Hanabi H. - Complete
Stranger Situations by DarkAuroran reviews
Iruka meets a very weird, sexy and incredibly manipulative silver-haired stranger at the airport. Kakashi helps him make it onto his flight but what's expected in return takes Iruka on a journey into danger and sensuality. KakaIru abounds within!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 150,855 - Reviews: 1578 - Favs: 1,409 - Follows: 1,356 - Updated: 7/6/2012 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Iruka U., Kakashi H.
CRACKED by DarkAuroran reviews
Comedy from Konoha! KakaIru based stories that are designed to make you giggle and just have no place in my regular fics. Ch3: It's April Fools Day and that can mean nothing but trouble. Fruity trouble!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,604 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 513 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 4/3/2012 - Published: 4/17/2009 - Iruka U., Kakashi H.
Naruto, You're Not Pregnant! by Jelp reviews
So men can walk on water, spit fireballs out of their mouths, house demons, and summon large animals out of no where and no one finds that odd, but for a man to get pregnant isn't possible...Naruto mumbled to himself. Sasuke/Naruto Mpreg
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,960 - Reviews: 841 - Favs: 819 - Follows: 1,017 - Updated: 11/8/2010 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
I've Got You by DarkAuroran reviews
A battle against the Hidden Village of Mist leaves Konoha in wreckage. Iruka sacrificed everything to save his home and now is in the hands of the infamous Sharingan-Kakashi during his recovery. Kakashi couldn't be happier! Kakairu YAOI, slight sasunaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 108,532 - Reviews: 2028 - Favs: 1,908 - Follows: 794 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
Move for Me by Jelp reviews
Powerful desire. Powerful feelings. Move for me. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,148 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 26 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Caution! Slippery When Wet by Jelp reviews
Sometimes slippery floors can lead to more than just falling to the floor in pain. Sometimes pleasure follows. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,077 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 977 - Follows: 100 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Three Months by kaotic312 reviews
When the girls get together, watch out! They're making lists and checking it twice. Are the guys in or out? Shika, Neji, Naruto, and Sasuke are now declared 'undateable' by the girls. Who does that leave? Rated T for language.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 239,084 - Reviews: 2854 - Favs: 1,316 - Follows: 485 - Updated: 8/29/2008 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Complete
Marry My Father Please? by kaotic312 reviews
Hinata, Hanabi, and Neji are desperate to marry off Hiashi so he'll stop mucking around in their lives. In the meantime, trouble is brewing for Hinata and life will never be the same. KankxHina and other pairings within.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 293,455 - Reviews: 1660 - Favs: 742 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 8/19/2007 - Hinata H., Kankuro - Complete
Neji's Fault reviews
Hinata never liked dresses as a child, preferring to mimic her cousin Neji. Hiashi assumed it was just a phase, but when she registered for school as a boy he faced the truth. His daughter was a cross-dresser. And it was all Neji's fault. AU ShikaHina!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,074 - Reviews: 111 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 6/26/2009 - Published: 6/9/2009 - Hinata H., Shikamaru N.