Welcome to my Profile!
Here are some funny things I found around the internet:
Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.
cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer are in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorrantt!
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk. (if you dont you'e dead)
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!
Annoying things to do in an elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
14) WHEN there's only one other person
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
16) ASK if you can push the button for
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!