Wooden Machete
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 07-12-08, id: 1632434, Profile Updated: 08-20-12
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.


Location: Tennessee

Likes: Family, friends, anime/manga, Football, weight-lifting, hunting, fishing, writing, reading, Swamp People, History Channel (I'm not a nerd! >[ ), mexican food, the feeling of accomplishment when I've completed a job or task, hot bitches (fuck yeah), redheads, South Park, acting like a dumbass(even though I'm not that dumb), and doing stupid shit with my friends(but not too stupid).

Dislikes: People that piss me off, California, political figures (Can't trust them), soccer(I just hate this sport), Brazil(hate how proud they are of soccer), people who are extremely hardheaded, when weird people try to touch me (Seriously this happens on a daily basis for me, you have no idea.), most species of monkeys, spiders, insects, anything that can inflict pain/death/other unpleasant feelings on a human, the Twilight series, Harry Potter, people who think they're better than everyone else, lettuce, salads, the number 5, tourists, surfers, when I say something funny and one of my dumbass friends turns around says it to someone else, this one dude who works in a store I frequently go to, some old people that live on my road, my neighbors, a few slightly distant members of my family, heat, cold, reading a fanfic where people write like a fucking braindead walrus (Example: "i walcked in to tha rooms, last knight and he was dead!") the fact that the worst storms seem to hit when its dark outside, when my internet goes out, when I forget something, when my family has a discussion about me and I'm not in the room, when my family has a discussion about me and I AM in the room, that one pokemon Dunsparce (I fucking despise that thing), people who hate on anime or manga or people that are into them, football practice during the fucking summer five days a week, when someone says "Dude don't step in that!" and I look down and there's nothing there and they start laughing, when someone picks on one of my friends because they don't wanna mess with someone they're own size, how fast my hair and fingernails grow, when I go fishing and don't catch shit, waking up early after going to bed late, getting 4 to 5 hours of sleep per night (Thats how it is for me during the school year), when summer break ends, humidity, science, math, chili, and my sister, just to name a few.

Dreams for the future: Gonna be a doctor but I love to write.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/wooden_machete

Not gonna give away much else other than what I have above... My stories will probably be mostly Naruto since I don't have much of a desire to write about much else.

My favorite anime/manga and video games:


Dragonball/Dragonball Z

Mahou Sensei Negima

Rosario Vampire

Air Gear

Eden no Ori

Zero no Tsukaima



To-Love-Ru Darkness

Kaichō wa Maid-sama!


Shakugan no Shana


Final Fantasy Series


Kingdom Hearts Series

My favorite pairings are:


Naruto/Pein's Female Animal Path

Naruto/Twin Sister or Older/Younger Sister






and Rock Lee with anyone (coz he's just a beast like that)

Crossover Pairings:

Naruto/Kokoa - Naruto and Rosario Vampire

Naruto/Asuna - Naruto and Mahou Sensei Negima

Naruto/Setsuna - Naruto and Mahou Sensei Negima

Naruto/Mei - Naruto and Mahou Sensei Negima

Hated pairings:

SasuSaku - (Sasuke is a dbag he shouldn't get the girl Naruto likes after he's already betrayed Naruto once damnit)

NaruHina - (I like Hinata but I just don't like the shy-girl type paired with Naruto, doesn't feel right to me)

ShikaSaku - (Weird)

GaaraSaku - (Gaara's too cool for a pairing!)

ShikaTayu - (Nobody but Naruto should be with Tayuya)

SasuTayu - (Umm NO!!!!)



Symphony of Fate

Inari Shippuden -

Inari's Cursed Seal of Whirlpools -

Stories I'm working on at the moment:

Symphony of Fate - After failing to defeat Sasuke, Naruto makes an unlikely friend in the form of a certain redhead. Now the two will experience many hardships and obstacles as they fight to protect what's most important to them. NaruTayu. - In Progress

Rise of the Uzumaki - On the day of the Kyuubi's attack, half of the its chakra is sealed into Naruto's twin sister, Kiyoko, killing the beast. Just when all seemed calm, another baby, a redheaded girl, was found in place of the Kyuubi's body. The girl is the reincarnation of the other half of the Kyuubi's chakra, Yuko. Naruto/Harem (Naruto/Kiyoko, Naruto/Yuko, Naruto/Other. Will contain Uzumakicest! Fem Kyuubi, Strong!Naruto. Writing First Chapter

Descendants of the Uzumaki - Setting is 100 years after the defeat of Tobi. All characters are OC's and the main characters are the descendants of Naruto and Tayuya. This story is mostly about Naruto's Great Great Grandchildren and their lives as shinobi. While Naruto's descendants are the main characters, there will also be some focus on the other characters. - Planning

Skyrim's Orange Knight - Naruto leaves his home village and peaceful life behind to pursue his best friend, Sasuke when he leaves to avenge his family. Along the way Naruto becomes a knight and the housecarl of the most important (and difficult) woman in Skyrim, the Dragonborn, Tayuya Steel-Claw. NaruTayu, SmartNaruto, Strong!Naruto. - Planning

And thats about it I suppose. If you don't like my taste in pairings then sorry (: And while i hate SasuSaku and NaruHina most that doesn't mean I'm gonna bash them or try to convince people the pairings I like are better because its really just a matter of opinion.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Final Steps by Kodachi Claws reviews
Jonin. Team. Love. Family. Peace. Hokage. Everything that Naruto has hoped for will be tested, but will it be worth it? Will the village of Konoha still be his precious people? Or will he die at the hands of Akatsuki? NaruSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 616,974 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 695 - Follows: 596 - Updated: 3/8 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Naruto U., Sakura H.
The Melody of the Fox by Jetslinger reviews
Naruto is determined to bring Sasuke back to Konoha. However, someone he didn't expect wants to help. NarutoxTayuya.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 44 - Words: 302,773 - Reviews: 4207 - Favs: 4,607 - Follows: 3,952 - Updated: 10/16/2014 - Published: 4/7/2007 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Revenge of The Fox Shippuden by SaiyanWarrior200 reviews
Sequel to Revenge of The Fox. Three years have passed and Naruto Uzumaki Sound Nin, Servant of Orochimaru, finds himself facing new foes and challenges as he looks to fulfill his destiny. Dark Naruto fic. Main pairing NaruTayu. Rating may go up. Big Announcement!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 49,708 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 330 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 9/23/2014 - Published: 12/19/2009 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Legend of the Defiers by Gravenimage reviews
At the Valley of the End Naruto and Sasuke's strongest attacks collided creating some kind of dimensional rift through space sending them to an unknown world. A story of defying fate, forging bonds and finding love Naruto/Lightning Sasuke/Fang.
Crossover - Naruto & Final Fantasy XIII - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 40 - Words: 649,392 - Reviews: 953 - Favs: 1,263 - Follows: 916 - Updated: 3/9/2013 - Published: 5/17/2011 - [Naruto U., Lightning] [Sasuke U., Fang]
Uzumaki Chronicles: The Swirling Tides by AkashXD reviews
Naruto's twin sister holds Kyūbi's yōki while he holds the soul. Kushina survived and has raised them both to be true Uzumaki. Will they succeed in reviving Uzushiogakure and the Uzumaki clan? Or will they fall before Konoha, Madara and countless other foes? [Uzumaki Centric]
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 271,925 - Reviews: 2654 - Favs: 4,133 - Follows: 3,372 - Updated: 11/6/2012 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Naruto U., Kushina U., Naruko U., Kyuubi/Kurama
Melody of the Wanderers by AlphaDelta1001 reviews
When one song ends, another begins. At the Valley of the End, Naruto makes the decision to leave Konohagakure, a decision that will change his life forever. At the same time, he meets the most unlikely companion.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 156,709 - Reviews: 890 - Favs: 2,562 - Follows: 2,245 - Updated: 6/29/2012 - Published: 2/18/2011 - Naruto U., Tayuya
Disdain and Regret by Immune2Fear reviews
I didn't mean to make him hate me, but I guess I'll hate him too if that's how it has to be.. Not that it's any easier than liking him. Neji/OC Other OCs mildly mentioned. slight Kiba/other OC. Rated for Language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 71,305 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 3/10/2012 - Published: 6/5/2010 - Neji H., Kiba I.
All Alone Well Almost by The Fog Alchemist reviews
After waking up one morning to find that everyone has disappeared Tsukune is left alone with Kokoa as a twisted game begins. With their world at stake, what could possibly happen?
Rosario + Vampire - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 74,084 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 9/17/2010 - Kokoa S., Tsukune A. - Complete
Yours and Mine by Spiritual Wolf reviews
DISCONTINUED. Rewind to before Minato was named Yondaime Hokage. Back to when he was younger, when he met HER. Uzumaki Kushina. From their first meeting, to their final moments. And all the wild things inbetween; realization, War, gains, losses.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 41 - Words: 249,729 - Reviews: 524 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 8/19/2011 - Published: 10/2/2007 - Minato N., Kushina U. - Complete
Because You Are Here by Xinyii xo reviews
AU Hope transferred into the Imperial Academy of Eden for his childhood friend he lost contact with seven years ago. There, he slowly uncovers the many secrets and mysteries that is Lightning Farron, all while trying to reunite with his long lost friend.
Final Fantasy XIII - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 49,954 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 3/16/2011 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Lightning, Hope
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Unbroken Bond reviews
It's been four years since Naruto defeated Pein and seemingly stopped the Akatsuki. After becoming a Jounin, he is tasked with his greatest challenges yet: training a genin team and living with his old rival. Read as Naruto experiences the hardships and trials on his road to becoming not only Hokage but a sensei his students can look up to. Naruto/Fem!Sasuke. Strong!Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,980 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 84 - Published: 10/9/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Symphony of Fate reviews
After failing to defeat Sasuke, Naruto makes an unlikely friend in the form of a certain redhead. Now the two will experience many hardships and obstacles as they fight to protect what's most important to them. NaruTayu Rated for Tayuya's mouth and sexual suggestions.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 61,652 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 8/19/2012 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Naruto U., Tayuya