Author has written 15 stories for Naruto, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Dead Space, Transformers/Beast Wars, Legend of Zelda, Inheritance Cycle, Assassin's Creed, and Mass Effect.
Name: Arashen Uzuma, Leaf Ranger, Leaf, LR, Elroth, or Shadow. Take your pick.
Age: Whatever I want it to be.
Gender: That's for me to know, and none of you to find out.
I am a huge fan of the medieval era, Naruto, sword based video games, and most middle age based books. Oh, and Harry Potter.
I am not a fan of flamers. If you don't like what I write, then don't read it. Anyone who sends me a flame simply has nothing better to do with their time. However, I will gladly accept any constructive criticisms, and definitely good reviews.
If I seem to copy anyone, I truly do not mean to. I have a few inspirations from some of the fanfics I have read, but I do not mean to rip off anyone else's ideas. If I do, please tell me so I can fix the problem.
Also, I don't really know Japanese, so unless the word or title has always been in Japanese, I'm going to write certain jutsu's and phrases from Naruto in English. Like "Granny Tsunade" or "Shadow Clone Jutsu". Sorry, it's just the way I am.
Lastly, I'm a great admirer of the works of Marchgirl, Fester0662, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, pink.love.rocks., Chewie Cookies, lord of the land of fire, Allan Pike, RaiderXV, Stigma, VFSNAKE, Wandering Wonderer, Lady Tsuki Kitsune, Kyuubi123 and Agent-G, all of whom are on this site. I also really like the works of WaterDragonBoy15, TRKwriter, Hinatakid, kikifangirl11, and bkeller1976, all on YouTube.
I thank anyone who does read my stories and gives me good reviews or tips. Have a good one.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these that are from someone else, or from a movie or TV Show, or whatever.
"Trust your beliefs, and your blade. They will get you through life" Me
"Believe, and you shall receive!" Indy Green
"I won't run away anymore... I won't go back on my word... because that is my nindo, my ninja way!" Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze (Maelstrom Whirlpool Hurricane)
"There is always hope." Aragorn
"It doesn't matter. I believe anyone can be what they want to be, or do what they want to do, so long as they believe in themselves. I'll always believe in you, so believe in yourself." Arashen Uzuma
"Love is powerful. True love, that's just life itself." Me
"What's the point in living, if you can't feel alive?" Elektra King
"When life gives you lemons, reach across the counter, shove them in life's mouth, and say 'I ordered apples. Where are they?'" Me
"If I knew what was going on, would I be asking?" Me
"If you were me, then I'd be you, and we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?" Me
"If it was easy, what would be the point?" Me
"Oh shift." Me, usually when something bad is happening.
"I wish I knew what happen. Then I could blame someone." Me
"I'm on a quest for snackage." Me, when I'm hungry
"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, and just say, 'I'm that good'." Me
"When life gives you lemonade, pour life a glass, and when life drinks it, tell them you put arsenic in it. Watch the spit take." RagingStarr, my sister.
"Oh bugger." Captain Jack Sparrow
"Wicked." Ron Weasley
"When life gives you lemons, realize anyone can make lemonade. So instead, make lemon meringue pie." My mom.
"Plans never survive first contact with the enemy." Erdrick17
"When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Then find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party." -Ron White (sent to me by Trey178)
"This is your life... and it's ending, one minute at a time." Narrator, Fight Club
"Having the love of your life break up with you and say, "We can still be friends," is like having your dog die, and your mom saying that we could still keep it." from the profile of sandgirl395
"Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back... are we talking about zombies here?" from the profile of sandgirl395
"Curiosity killed the cat. Well, that, and my shotgun." Me
"Stand and fight! That way, while he kills you, I can stab him in the back." Me
"Sniper, schmiper. This will take care of him." Me, before blowing someone up with a rocket launcher.
"Run for your lives, but let me go first!" Gerentex, Andromeda episode 117
"You just missed Tyr's cavalry act."
"They were playing Wagner. The most fun I've had in about six months." Beka Valentine and Tyr Anasazi, Andromeda episode 112
"You're wrong. I am TYR! Anasazi! Out of Victoria by Barbarrosa! AND I... WILL NEVER ... SURRENDER!" Tyr Anasazi, Andromeda episode 113
"Remember kids. A smart guy knows when it's time to RUN LIKE A LITTLE B#$%!" Desert Punk, Episode 1
" To often, we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother... upside the head. Pass it on..." no clue where it's from
"only in their dreams can men be truly free It was always thus and always thus will be." Robin Williams
"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world." Robin Williams
"What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong." Robin Williams
"to stand alone is suicide, but to stand with friends is to live." kurobushou
"life's a lesson, you'll learn it when your through." line from 'take a look around' by limp bizkit
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice." bill cosby
"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." mae west
"Every man dies. Not every man really lives." William Wallace
"Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect." Steven Wright
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Mark Twain
"If life gives you lemons make grape juice and make everyone wounder how the hell you made grape juice out of lemons." C.D.
"Love it, Hate it, Live it." C.D.'s motto
"Don't worry bout tomorrow, or yesterday but live for today." C.D.
"Still in the night
"We came, We saw, We kicked Asssssssss!!!!!"- ninetails42
"Arrive, raise hell, and then leave."- ninetails42
"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."-Mark Twain
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett
"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage." - Ambrose Bierce
"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest." - Rowan Atkinson
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" - Steven Wright
"I can resist everything except temptation." - Oscar Wilde
"If at first you don't succeed... So much for skydiving." - Henry Youngman
"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness." - Oscar Wilde
"I have nothing to declare except my genius." - Oscar Wilde
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." - Rita Mae Brown
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields
"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry
"They looked at me the wrong way, so they're gunna die." - Gaara
"Yeah, you keep saying those inspirational speeches. Meanwhile I'll be busy over here, winning the game." - Me
"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings." -Optimus Prime
"New Day. New Opportunity."-Darth Void Sage of the Force
"Rest in peace...muthaf$%-er."-Me, after assassinating a major target in any Assassin's Creed game
"No where to run, no where to hide, and no one to stop me."-Me, as I track down a target in any Assassin's Creed game
"Stop using Super Potion on your Pokemon you bastard. And let me kick your damn ass already!" -C.D.
"WHAT YOU MEAN TO TELL ME MY PARENTS DIED BECAUSE WE PISSED OF A HORMONALLY CHARGED FOX WITH A CHOCOLATE CRAVING?!" -Iruka from Naruto Arrancar, by King of the Fallen.
"I don't know you, you don't know me, but we can tell by the blood and gore I'm trigger happy." - DemonKingSin
"People are always saying the "insane" need help, and that they are the sane ones. Personally, I think no one is sane. If your sane, then your not human. Insanity is what makes us human, its our emotions. If someone becomes overwhelmed by their emotion, then they can't think straight, which in my personal opinion, is when people say that person is insane. Therefore, my theory is that if someone is "sane", then they have no emotions, which means they aren't human." - DemonKingSin
"The earlybird may get the worm, but it's the second mouse who gets the cheese."- The Laughing Brain
"Oh no. I do apologize. You must be incensed. In fact, if I was in your shoes I'd grab a bottle of champagne and shoot me." -Elim Garak
"No Jayne. This is something the captain has to do for himself."
"And what makes you think the people will follow you?"
I, Leaf Ranger, do hear by promise the following:
1. That any fanfic I write will be completed, unless no one enjoys it, and a majority ask for me to discontinue it.
2. That my stories will be as much my own creation as possible. The classic cliches may pop up, but the story line will be my own.
3. That I will accept reviews, and constructive criticisms, but I will reply honestly.
4. That anyone who flames me, and has the guts to leave a real name, will be mentioned, and their flames used to burn their own fanfics into ash.
5. The previous statement will be null and void if said flamers have decent fanfics.
6. That I will honestly read, and review any fanfics that I am asked to read.
I promise to follow these six rules, and I hope that you all will respect them.
Description: Five foot, seven inches. Messy brown hair, blue eyes. Muscular, but in a cord, whip like way. Usually wears long sleeved shirts, with tunic vest over them. Long pants, cloth leather boots, and a green/grey mottled cloak. Bandanna tied in a face mask over mouth and nose.
Weapons: Three foot broadsword and shield. Longbow. Hunting knife.
Skills:Master of all elements. Skilled in close quarter combat, especially with sword, or sword and shield. Expert marksmen. Highly skilled in tracking and stealth.
Unique Characteristics: Has a dragon guardian spirit sealed in him. Cool in most combat situations.
Name: Elroth, son of Earendil. Dunedain Ranger
Age: 30 years old (looks 16)
Description:Five foot, ten inches. Long straight brown hair. Blue eyes. Wears long sleeved shirts, chain-mail shirts, and leather vests. Long pants, cloth boots, and a dull dark green cloak.
Weapons: Dunedain style longsword, three and a half feet. Forged by elven smiths in Valinor. Elvish longbow. Elvish long knife.
Skills: Healing, stealth, tracking, hunting, low level magic, close quarter combat, marksman.
Unique characteristics: Younger brother of Elrond of Rivendell, and Elros, founder of the Dunedain. Is usually calm, and very rarely smiles or laughs.
Name: Raphael Cortez
Occuptation: Assassin of the Rome Brotherhood
Description: 5 foot 10 inches, with black hair pulled into a loose ponytail, and brown eyes. Wears standard Assassin Robes, though they've been dyed crimson in color with black trim.
Weapons: Schianova longsword, swordbreaker knife, dual hidden blades, crossbow, smoke bombs, and throwing knives.
Skills: Free running/parkour, hiding, tracking, and assassinating.
History: Raphael Cortez was the illegitamet brother to hernado Cortez, born of Hernado's father and the maid. raphael's mother was forced to leavethe service of the Cortez family. After giving birth to Raphael, she moved to Rome with him, to try and start a new life. Sadly, she contracted an illness and died when he was 10 years old.
Raphael spent the next three years of his life on the streets, picking pockets and doing waht he could to survive. At the age of 13, he attempted to pickpocket a hooded figure, only to be caught. Instead of turning him over to tthe city guard, the man offered him a new life. The name of the man he ahd tried to steal from? Ezio Auditore.
Raphael spent the next three years training, learning the art of the Assassin. At age 16, he joined the ranks of the Rome chapter of the Assassin Brotherhood. He's spent two year snow, in their fight against the Templar threat.
Okay. So I decided to start a challenges section. Why? Because one of my three current awesome betas Door1531, came up with a challenge. So here it is.
But there are No second chances.
During a vain attempt to return to his home, to stop it's destruction, to stop
He fails. Badly.
In a last ditch, desperate attempt a now blinded Naruto jumps through The
He wished to return home.
Now in an alien world in which Kami is known as the Soul King, and being
1. No Yaoi
If you're interested and want more details, please contact Door1531. Though she may not have more to give.
Alright, here's challenge two.
Teen Titans or Batman fanfic
So basically this is either a Batman or Teen Titans fanfic, though Teen Titans would be more preferable. The plot is simple.
Why is Robin's costume so bright? Bright red, bright yellow, and green. Simple. Because Batman didn't want an actual sidekick. He wanted a bullet catcher/bait for when he was hunting criminals. When Robin figures this out, it shatters his world.
So here are the rules.
1. Batman has to be bashed, with either Robin beating his butt in the end of the fanfic, or even killing him.
So if you're interested, please PM me about accepting the challenge.
Bill Alain's challenge
"The Ninja Without Fear Challenge:
Good Luck, can't wait to see what you guys come up with!"
Bill Alain's Second Challenge
Also new thought that popped into my head that is in no way-never-ever-not-not-definitely-maybe related to the release of The Hunger Games.
The Ninja Games Challenge:
We all know that the ninja of the Elemental Nations have become glorified soldiers, eager to launch the biggest, flashiest, most destructive jutsu before the other guy, well in this world, it's because of the Games. And the Third Hokage has found a born star the night Kyuubi attacks.
BIll Alain's third challenge:
"The League of Extraordinary Shinobi Challenge:
"Shinobi these days are
1. Include my favorite
Favorite Naruto Pairings
NaruHarem (has to have Hinata, who is one of the major girls)
Favorite Other Pairings
Naruto: Headstrong; by Trapt, Hero; by Skillet and Not Listening; by Papa Roach, It's My Life; by Bon Jovi, I Will Not Bow; by Breaking Benjamin
Hinata: Everytime We Touch; by Cascada, Beat of MY Heart; By Hilary Duff, Miracles Happen; by Myra
NaruHina: Comatose; by Skillet, Awake and Alive; by Skillet, Something to Believe in; from Spectacular, Gotta Be Somebody; Nickleback
Lee: Cosmic Castaway; by Electrasy
LeeSaku: What is Love; by Haddaway
Sasuke: Lifeline; by Papa Roach
Itachi: Let the Bodies Hit the Floor; by Drowning Pool
Kiba: Who Let the Dogs Out; by Baha men
Gaara: Enter Sandman; by metallica
Madara: It's the End of the World; by R.E.M.
Naruto vs Sasuke Valley of the End fight: Monster; by Skillet, Frontline; by PIllar
Naruto, using Kyuubi's chakra: Monster; by Skillet
General song for large scale battle scenes: Frontline; by Pillar
Ezio Auditore: Awake and Alive, Monster, and Hero; all by Skillet
(Still under construction. May include more characters, and songs, as I choose.)
Welcome to my rants, ranging from Naruto, to real life.
Rant 1: Pointless Main Character Deaths.
Okay, I know that in reality, the good guys can't always win, and in books and stuff, sometimes a good guy needs to die to drive the main character. But let me ask you this?
In Harry Potter, the deaths of Hedwig, Fred Weasely, Remus Lupin, and Tonks served exactly what purpose? WHAT WAS THE POINT?!
If anyone, ANYONE, can give me a good reason that I can't refute, I will remove said name of person from my rant of death list's here.
Rant 2: Underpowered hero's.
Currently, I have only one underpowered hero, and that is Naruto. This is a kid who contains the most powerful tailed demon in him, and yet, he get's tossed around like a rag doll in almost every fight. The only time he hasn't been tossed around, that I know of, was against Kakashi at the beginning of Shippuden.
I don't want Naruto to be some uber powerful kid (like a certain teme in Naruto), but still, you think he would have some skill. All he has going for him is a freakishly high stamina, and determination. I think that Naruto should have been at least mid ranked genin in power during the Academy. That's just my belief.
9/15/2010: Heh... guess my rant here is starting to become obsolete. Naruto recently did gain two massive power boosts, but he's still woefully weak in comparison to the main baddie. And honestly, we all know what Sasuke's got, so don't tell me emo gay boy isn't becoming overpowered AGAIN.
Rant 3: Genin team assignment.
Okay. When it comes to the four genin teams of Naruto (Teams 7-10), I will admit that Teams 9 and 10 are fairly well balanced. Team 9 has Neji, the tracker and support fighter, Lee is the powerhouse, and Tenten keeps enemies at range, along with medical skills. Team 10 has a infiltration and information expert (Ino), a strategist and capture expert (Shikamaru), and a guy very good at breaking things (Chouji).
Teams 7 and 8, however, are extremely off balance. I'm sorry, I don't care that they are made to be an attack team, and a tracking team. It doesn't do an attack team any good, IF THEY DON'T KNOW WHERE THE TARGET IS! And a tracking team with almost no real powerful fighters, is only good at finding, and then sitting there, waiting for some firepower team to get up to them. If team's 7 and 8 were to be truly balanced, then either Sasuke or Naruto should have been on team 8, or Hinata should have been on team 7. Then, you have power and tracking for both teams.
Rant 4: Harry/Ginny and Love Potions
I re-wrote this rant because I realized a valuable piece of evidence (at least to me), to support the fact that Harry was not the victem of a Love Potion in the book series and movie.
Now, as I said in the previous version, I will respect other people's pairing choices for their fanfics. Harry/Hermione, Harry/Luna, Harry/Bellatrix, whatever. That's what they want to do, and I'll accept that. And I'll accept people who write in their fanfics that Harry was subjected to a Love Potion by Ginny, if they write it properly.
What I won't accept is people saying Ginny used a Love Potion on Harry in actual canon, and say that's the only plausible way the two of them could have hooked up. Because quite honestly, these people who say this really need to re-read the book, or re-watch the movie, and pay close attention.
According to people who support this belief, Harry 'just suddenly' starts obsessing over Ginny in the book, and quite obviously he was affected by a Love Potion.
Here's the proof that they are dead wrong:
1. There's a prime example of what an actual Love Potion does to the victem later on in HalfBlood Prince. Romilda Vane infused some Chocolate Cauldrons with Love Potion and sent them to Harry. Ron ate those Cauldrons, and not even a minute afterwards, he has become completely obsessed with Romilda vane. So much so that he forgets his current girlfriend Lavender Brown, and nearly knocks Harry's block off for a comment Harry makes. Now compare that to Harry's actions. Harry does become obsessed with Ginny, but to a much lesser degree then Ron was with Romilda Vane. He has enough sense to not do anything, espeically since he's afraid of how Ron would react. If Harry was under the influence of a Love Potion, he would have said 'screw it' to Dean and Ron and went straight after Ginny.
2. At no point does Ginny actually act like she wants Harry before hand in HalfBlood Prince. She even yells at Ron and threatens him for interrupting her make out time with Dean, and she is pretty happy with him. In fact, it takes Harry drinking the Felix Felicis to actually break Ginny and Dean up, and even then she doesn't make a move on Harry. If she had put Harry under a Love Potion, why not go in instantly for the kill?
3. Not as many people would appreciate this fact, but I'm sure there are some of you who do. Harry's reactions to Ginny, his crush on her, is something completely normal. I know because twice in my own life have I felt what Harry was feeling in HalfBlood Prince. A crush, an affection for someone that just appears out of nowhere, and pushes you to nearly obsess over the object of your affection. One of those crushes drove me into a deep depression, that took me months to finally get out of. Harry's reactions towards Ginny, his sudden crush on her that seems to come out of nowhere, is quite honestly real. Though only some people in the world may actually appreciate that fact.
4. There are also those who would use Harry and Ginny's minimal interactions as proof as well. While I would point to my previous bit of evidence to counter this, I'll also provide another counter as well. The books skip over entire weeks and sometimes a whole month or two, with just a quick summary of what happened in that time period. I'm quite positive that Harry, in those periods, would more then likely interacted with a number of people outside of his two friends. Is it not possible that in those time periods, he interacted with Ginny as well? Or what about all the times Harry spent at the Burrow. He spent part of the summer before his second year there, he spent a good portion of the summer before his fourth year there, he spent a goodly portion of the summer before the Fifth Year with the Weasley's at Grimmauld Place #5, not to mention Christmas as well. And he spent the majority of his summer before his sixth year at the Burrow as well. During all that time at the burrow, he didn't interact with Ginny at all? Didn't learn anything about her, didn't spend time playing Quidditch or working on homework or just sitting and talking when there was nothing else to do? Incredibly unlikely. Read between the lines people.
I will not deny that the Harry/Ginny pairing is wierdly done, and handled wrong. It is. J K Rowling should have done a better job creaitng the relationship, from a literary standpoint. But in my honest opinion, from a realistic standpoint, the pairing is possible and plausible in real life. Teenage hormones, love, people's reactions, none of that can be perdicted. All of it can just be random and happen at any time and in any way.
I know I seem like I'm championing the pairing. I guess in a way I am. I actually really like the pairing myself. But my focus here was proving that at least in canon, a Love Potion is not only an implausible explanation for Harry and Ginny's relationship, but a ridiculous and slightly offensive one as well. I'm sorry if I've offended anyone, but I myself am actually offended at this idea.
Rant 5: The Five Prong Seal
Okay. For those of you who have read my profile, you'll notice I've changed this rant. If you've even read it.
The reason I'm changing it is simple. I've come to the realization that my previous rant was flawed, and was more comedic than actually informative. So, I'm re-doing it.
For those of you who don't recall, the Five Prong Seal is the seal Orochimaru put on Naruto during the Forest of Death Part of the Chuunin Exams. Naruto had begun accessing Kyuubi's chakra, and Orochimaru stopped that by slamming this odd numbered seal over Naruto's even numbered seal that held the Kyuubi. This stopped the flow of Kyuubi's chakra, as well as screwing up Naruto's own chakra control.
Some people will make the argument that this was to help further Naruto's struggle as the main character, giving him a handicap that he had to fight and deal with. And I'll give you this, that is a valid argument. At the same time though, it is also invalid.
Yes, it would be boring if Naruto became like Sasuke and had all his power handed to him. I'm not denying that. However, the five prong seal doesn't truly handicap Naruto until after the prelims. Think about it.
In the next major battle Naruto participates in, the battle against the Ame clone users, Naruto's still able to keep spamming clones for practically hours, till dawn comes. Would that have been any different than if he didn't have the seal?
And his battle against Kiba. Naruto didn't struggle against Kiba because his chakra control was screwed up and he didn't have access to Kyuubi. Naruto struggled because Kiba was a superior opponent. Kiba was faster, he was stronger, and he had the advantage of training from his clan. Naruto would have struggled against Kiba even without the seal due simply to the fact that Kiba had superior training and skills. That is Naruto's true handicap and struggle; is him having to keep fighting stronger and superior opponents with better training due to him having been either self taught ot having poor training from his sensei's.
In the end, the five Prong Seal only really had two or three purposes:
1. It kept Naruto from overshadowing Sasuke, who was being a wuss until Naruto got knocked out, then stepped up and had his fight against Orochimaru. Which, in true fashion for Kishimoto was more 'epic' than when Naruto was fighting. I say 'epic' not because it was epic, but because it was more flashy and allowed Sasuke to show off his skills. So when I say 'epic', I'm being sarcastic.
2. It was a contrived plot device to have Jiraiya 'take interest' in Naruto, instead of him flat out coming up to Naruto and saying "I'm going to train you". For whatever reason he couldn't just do the latter, I don't know. But if Naruto didn't have the Seal, he would have gotten the Water Walking Excercise down quicker, and thus Naruto might have actually waited for Ebisu to wake up and train him, instead of going after Jiraiya. Or it's possible Ebisu would have taken Naruto elsewhere to train in something else, instead of noticing Jiraiya and going after him due to Naruto taking longer to get the Water Walking Excercise down.
3. The Seal knocking out Naruto allows Sakura to have her moment of character development when she's fighting the Oto shinobi. However, this can also be easily done by simply smashing Naruto through some trees, hitting a pressure point to knock him out, dislocating his arm to limit his fighting abilities, etc. In other words, any number of other possiblities were open.
I guess my whole point is, the Five Prong Seal could have been a good way to help show Naruto's struggle as the main character. But it failed to deliver. Naruto didn't become truly handicapped until it came to the point to introduce Jiraiya, and that's when it's effects really showed, only to be removed within like ten minutes. Before that, it didn't seem to affect Naruto at all.
That's why I hate it. The Five Prong seal ended up being totally useless in canon. But what's worse is, fanfic authors end up taking it to the next level. Several fanfic authors who make Naruto stronger or more skilled still employ the Five Prong Seal, and actually have it handicap Naruto in a far more serious way. My question to all of those who do this is...why? None of them ever actually use it to develop Naruto's character. And the handicapping of his skills is strange because it's not like Naruto needs to be humbled or needs to show he is struggling to earn his power and such in these fanfics. So why still use it?
The only time I've actually seen the Five Prong seal be put to good use is when fanfic authors use it to unlock some hidden bloodline or power that is held back by Kyuubi's chakra. Otherwise, it ends up proving to be just as annoying and useless as it does in canon.
I'm sorry if I've offended said authors here. I don't mean to do that. I'm just really wondering why anyone feels the need to use the five prong seal if it doesn't go anywhere, just like in canon? There are several different and more effective ways to handle that situation instead of using a useless creation that Kishimoto came up with. That's just my thought anyways.
Rant 6: The training trip.
Okay... I know that what Jiraiya took Naruto to do for three years was rather important. He learned to begin controlling the Kyuubi's chakra. And he did learn some things to help with his strengths.
But... this is my thought... with the exception of keeping Naruto away from Danzou's prying eyes, taking Naruto away was actually more dangerous in my opinion, then training him in Konoha or nearby enough that Naruto could still aid the village.
I can see why Jiriaya would want to take Naruto. He could focus solely on training, instead of Naruto being yanked away for missions. But let me put up a few counter arguments.
1. The fact of the matter is, while outside of Konoha, even in the presence of Jiraiya, he was in a lot more danger then he would be training in Konoha. You have missing nins, bandits, ninjas with grudges against Konoha, and Akatsuki. All of whom could easily just wait for Naruto to be away from Jiraiya for one second, and then BAM! Naruto's gone, world is doomed, bye bye all. Not only that, but it's that much easier for a Root ninja to simply follow them, and report back on what he finds, due to the fact that there is only Jiraiya there to stop any spies. If Naruto was in Konoha, Akatsuki would do nothing, due to the fact that it would be that much harder for them to get to him. THe only way would be an almost all out assault by a good portion of their numbers, or Pein. And if that happens, then the other Elemental Nations, sensing a threat against them, would pour out, and destroy Akatsuki. Not only that, but Danzou's spies would have a harder time, due to the increased number of ANBU and such who could watch out for spies.
2. Jiraiya has a spy network to run... well that's great. That would be a reason for Jiriaya to stay mobile... unless you, oh I don't know, SEND ENCODED MESSAGES! I mean... why run around a country talking to your spies, when you can easily send encoded messages? It seems that's smarter, since then counter spies can't identify Jiraiya's spies by him coming and talking to them! I mean... it seems to me that Kishimoto's shinobi are pretty dumb, if they don't employ things like common sense, that make their jobs that much easier.
3. Keeping Naruto's training secret. Well, that's fairly easy as well. It's called Training Ground 44 AKA the Forest of Death. Take Naruto there, train him, and you have a nice place that could easily ward off ROOT or other spies.
You all want to know what the training trip was? It was just a stupid cliche way for Kishimoto to separate Naruto and Shippuden. That was it. There was no actual need for it. There was no actual need for Naruto to go running around the Elemental Nations for three years, thus missing a chance at promotion, thus missing a chance at getting close to Sakura, or Hinata, or whoever you support for his pairing. To me, it's stupid, it's worthless, and every chance I get in my fanfics, I am avoiding it like the plague. THE PLAGUE! *Waves arms dramatically.*
Rant 7: The bell test.
This one is an oddity. I'm sure many people will say that the bell test is a great thing that shouldn't be ranted about, as there was nothing wrong. And I agree. The idea of the bell test, the principal behind it is sound. It's a great idea.
My problem... is with the execution. The way it was done, in the manga and anime.
Let's re-cap. We've got a knucklehead who devours ramen, has almost no real thinking capabilities, and is pretty much a one trick horse with high stamina, resiliance to damage, and is unperdictable. We have a book smart, but skill and strength weak kunoichi, who's only skills are the three basic ninjutsus, some skills in traps and weapons, and her intelligence. Did I also mention she is a rabid fangirl for their third teammember, at least at this point and time? Lastly, we have an emo-avenger who is probably mid-genin to low-chuunin in his abilities. However, he is a bit arrogant, is a lone wolf, and probably a bit of a hot head, if provoked.
Does any sensei... ANY REAL SENSEI... expect these three kids, who are hungry, exhausted, definitely don't get along with each other, and fresh from the Academy... does any real sensei expect them to be able to grasp the concept of teamwork, especially when they're set up against each other?
I mean c'mon... it's like asking a 2 year old to walk a straight line, pick up a piece of paper, make the most complicated paper airplane, then perdict exactly where, when and how it's going to land if he threw it. As in... NOT EVER GOING TO HAPPEN!
Yes, in the end, they learned teamwork... Kakashi managed to get his point across, in some small way. But wouldn't a good sensei, one who is actually maybe wanting the team to pass, wouldn't he be able to give them the test in a way where they would think that teamwork is something they had to do? Instead of almost ensuring that teamwork would never cross their mind? I mean... it's stupid... it really is.
If Kakashi wanted to make the bell test work, he wouldn't have them compete against each other. He wouldn't tell them to do teamwork, but he wouldn't make them fight each other. What he should have done was this.
"Okay. You have till the end of the day to get the bells from me. If you fail, then you go back to the Academy. None of you will leave this training ground until both bells are gone. As a special treat, those who do get the bells will get lunch, while the third one doesn't."
See? There's still that competitive edge, so they might not work together. But at the same time, there's nothing major driving them apart. They're just told they won't leave the training ground until the bells are taken from him. So, they could either go at him alone, or go at him together. Whcih means THEY'D LEARN THE F$%-ING LESSON!
So, I imagine I'll get some comments. That's fine. I welcome them. Doesn't mean I'll change my view, but I welcome any chance to actually disucss this.
Rant 8: One Piece, Fairy Tail, and Naruto
(Please note. These are only my opinions. I'm not saying it's the truth, it's only how I feel. So I better not get anyone complaining about me slandering one of these three or something. It's just how I feel)
Okay, my rant here is most specifically about the one major problem I have with each of these animes/mangas. I'm not saying they suck, or are horrible. In fact, I really like or liked all three of these. I just have a major problem with each of them, that has actually caused me to stop reading or following One Piece and Faiy Tail. And I'm going to cover each of them here.
One Piece: This was perhaps the first real anime I ever watched. Avatar the Last Airbender and Teen Titans are both animes in my opinion, but to me One Piece is always the real first anime I ever watched. And for a while, I really enjoyed the show. The comedy was great, the fights were great, and the characters were great. Overall, I really loved the show.
Then it became screwed up in my opinion. I don't know what it was, but around the point where they were supposed to fly their ship up into the sky, I just felt that the show had turned horrible. And as I've heard more and more about what's happened, I've realized why I started to dislike the show. The plot became way too complicated.
When the show began, the plot was simple. Sail to the Grand Line, while finding new crewmembers and adventures, to find One Piece. Okay, that's simple. Wait... why do we have to find a stupid geyser to go into the sky? Wait, why are we having to deal with a giant fat guy with a black beard? Wait why the F$% are we being seperated? Wait, why is it that everyone in the Grand Line is too strong for us, so we have to spend over 2 years training?
You see? The plot went from trying to find One Piece, to dealing with every obstacle and distraction imaginable to man, that just kept them from reaching One Piece. And that's what killed the show and manga for me. A simple and good plot turned overly complicated for no apparent reason.
Fairy Tail: I started reading the Manga for this a few months back, and I found I really enjoyed it. Maybe it was the similar drawing style to One Piece, or the fact that in a way, this manga was like One Piece, I don't know. But I really enjoyed it for a time too. Again, good humor, good fights, and the background on some of the characters was great. Especially Erza Scarlett. She freaking made the manga for me. A hot red haired female who utilizies armor and weapons in combat? I was in heaven.
Then I notcied a pattern emerge. One that started to make the manga kinda bad and unbearable to me. Every time a new adventure popped up, the same thing happened. Bad guys would begin evil plan. Good guys were completly overwhelmed, and bad guys had every advantage and ace in their hand. And then something would happen to turn the tide in the good guy's favor, and they won.
This actually ties into my rant with Naruto. To me, the mere fact that the bad guys had such overwhelming advantages from the beginning was bad. The fact that it happened EVERY TIME I READ A NEW ADVENTURE, it was worse. So that's kinda what killed it off for me. The fact that there wasn't a single time where the bad guys didn't an advantage of humongous proportion.
Naruto: Naruto's perhaps the best manga and anime I've ever had the pleasure to read and watch. In my opinion, that is. It's funny, action packed, and a true underdog story. And it's one I intend to follow to the end... or until we learn if NaruHina is a canon reality or not.
Though that underdog part is also the problem in my opinion. Like in Fairy Tail, the bad guys always have some huge advantage. The difference is that Naruto actually lessens the bad guy's advantages most of the time, so it's not nearly as huge of a gap as it was in Fairy Tail.
Another problem in Naruto is the fact that pretty much everyone of Naruto's fights are won more due to pure determination and luck. Now that's not a bad thing, except for the fact that it happens almost every time. I can only handle so many inspiration comebacks before it kinda get's boring, and expected.
The last problem in Naruto for me is the fact that since Shippuden has started, bad guys have exponetially increased in power. Kisame is able to summon a water bubble that's half a mile high, and a mile across? And let's not forget the spamming of Sasuke's Mangekyou Sharingan techniques. How many times can one guy unleash Sussanoo and Amaterasu in one hour? And the fact that it's been hinted/confirmed that he's about to have an Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan.
It was the latest chapter, 510, that finally caused me to rant here. We just saw Konan unveil SIX HUNDRED BILLION explosive tags. She unleashed ten minutes of continuous explosives. And it's only after she's failed that we learn that Madara had the Shodai's DNA as well, just like Danzo did?
I'm sorry, but I call major bulls$% here. Madara just happens to be able to pull off the one technique that can save him, right when he needs it, and when there was no mention of him knowing aobut it or possessing it earlier? WTF KISHIMOTO!? And now of course, he's gotten the next thing he needs. And the shark with info on the jinchuuriki's is heading to him.
Kishimoto... Naruto was great. Shippuden, not so much. You've freaking left one of the major plots dangling, when you could have finally concluded the question of NaruHina. Your bad guys are always getting more powerful, while the good guys have only recently gotten power ups. You really need to learn how to balance the ratio of good guy to bad guy power AND TO F$%-ING CONCLUDE A PLOT! DON'T LEAVE IT DANGLING!
Rant 9: Naruto Manga Chapter 515:
If you don't want spoilers to the chapter, stop reading now. If you don't care, or have read the chapter, then please continue.
Has face buried in hands, and remains silent*
Lifts face* Okay...I can officially say now...that Kishimoto...IS A *BLEEP*-ING RETARD *BLEEP*-HOLE WHO NEEDS A BAZOOKA ENEMA SHOVED UP HIS *BLEEP* BEFORE HAVING HIS *BLEEP* REMOVED WITH A PAIR OF RUSTY PLIERS THEN HAVE IT SHOVED DOWN HIS THOAT AND RIPPED OUT HIS NOSE!
Having Kabuto be able to revive Akatsuki was bad enough. Having them able to fully think and act on their own like they were compeltely alive again? Even worse.
BUT NOW THAT SCALE COVERED FREAK HAS BROUGHT BACK THE MOST POWERFUL NINJAS OF EXISTENCE, AND PEOPLE WHO WERE CLOSE TO MAIN CHARACTERS THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE FREAKING SERIES!
Every Akatsuki member who has died: brought back to life.
Every jinchuuriki who has been captured and extracted: brought back to life.
Ever Kage who has died: Brought back to life.
Ever Konoha ninja from Dan to Asuma to Hizashi: Brought back to life
Every powerful ninja that has popped up in the series, including Kimimaro, Chiyo, and Hanzo: Brought back to life
Zabuza, Haku, and probably other members of the Seven Swordsmen and other powerful ninja groups: Brought back to life.
WHATS NEXT!? WE'RE GOING TO SEE KABUTO SUMMON SOME JAPANESE DEITY TO THE FIELD?! OR MAYB HE'LL JUST POOF INTO A DEITY HIMSELF!
WELL I SAY *BLEEP* YOU KISHIMOTO! *BLEEP* YOU TO THE DARKEST CREVICE OF TORTURE! The only reason I'm even still reading Naruto Shippuden now is to find out if it has NaruHIna in it, or not. THAT'S IT!
Rant 10: Nit Pick shows
This is a rant I felt today when I watched the show called Star Wars Tech. If you haven't seen it, it's basically these 'scientists' start talking about the technology used in Star Wars, in comparison to today's technology.
I use the term 'scientists' loosely, because in my opinion, no self respecting scientist would stoop so low as to do what I saw on that show: nit picking a science fiction.
I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Why? Because I got so freaking frustrated, I nearly swore loudly, which would have woken up my sick sister.
Seriously. Who cares if today's technology couldn't create a cockpit windshield the size of the Millenium Falcon or the Tie Fighter? It's not like they exist, or there is a need for spaceships like that! Or how about what a lightsaber is made of. Who cares if we can't replicate with today's technology! It's not meant to be made with today's technology! It's meant to be fun and entertaining.
It is seriously depressing to see people, who should be researching ways to make humanities life better, are wasting their time nit picking technology and effects and such of a science fiction movie. And people do that to everything! Fantasy, fables, legends, EVERYTHING!
I think the best way to describe my thoughts can be taken from the theme song of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (which I do not own in any way, shape or form). "If you're wondering how he eats and breaths, and other science facts. Just repeat to yourself it's just a show, I should really just relax! For Mystery Science Theater 3000!"
Rant 11: Haku's gender.
This isn't entirely a rant, so much as just stating my opinion. And what's my opinion? That Haku is a freaking girl.
Seriously. Yeah the voice is deep for a girl, but it still sounds girly. And let's add in the features, and the freaking PINK KIMONO Haku was wearing when she ran into Naruto at the clearing. But what really makes me think Haku is a girl was the last 20-30 Naruto Manga chapters.
I covered this in my rant of Naruto Manga chapter 515, with Kabuto bringing back every powerful or emotion baggage character back to life. One of the characters is Haku.
The reason that these chapters support my belief that Haku is a girl is the fact that the Haku in those manga chapters was drawn with eyelashes, female slanted anime eyes similar to Shippuden Hinata's, and the fact that she has on FREAKING LIPSTICK! I'm serious, look at Haku's lips and compare them to Mei the Mizukage. THEY FREAKING LOOK ALIKE!
I know Kishimoto said Haku was a boy, but in all honestly, I think he just did that to F$% with us, because unless Haku shows the only irrefutable evidence there is that she was supposed to be a guy, all evidence I've seen points to a female character.
Now this does mean I'll probably be doing female Haku's in most of my fanfics. However, I may do the occassional male one to suit any ideas or whatever. But I still believe Haku was a female.
Rant 12: Battles in HaloxStarWars crossover .
Bear with me here. I have no problem with the crossovers. I've only read two so far, but both were excellent, to a point. One I'm still reading, the other I stopped.
Basically, here's the scoop. In these fanfics, the UNSC, after the Human/Covenant war has ended, somehow ends up in a battle/war against the Old Republic from slighlty before Revenge of the Sith, or the Galactic Empire right afterwards. Both of these fanfics have large scale battles at the beginning, that consist of orbital battles and ground invasions.
Now as I started reading these battles, I really started to get into them. I'm serious. I actually started laughing and stuff when I read the space battles beginning. Why? Because it was freaking realistic. As I was reading, somehow I knew what was happening would actually happen.
The Star Wars groups always outnumbered the UNSC in ships and troops. Their ships were superior in close quarters combat, with their turbolasers and such tearing through the UNSC ships lighter shields and hull armor. But the UNSC had far superior range on their weapons, with their MAC cannons basically able to tear through Venetrator and Imperial class Star Destroyers with only two to four shots. The Clone/Imperial fighters had numbers, but the UNSC fighters were far more manueverable and had better weapons.
And ground invasions made total sense too. The clone troopers had more numbers, but the UNSC had the advantage in weapons and armor. Their Marines were outfitted with armor that had weak personal shields that could take two or three hits from blaster rifles, their weapons could tear through Clone and Storm Trooper armor easily. And let's face it, yes it could. In StarWars, that armor is basically meant to stop Blaster fire, and even then it fails. It wasn't meant to stop solid projectiles, making it weak to armor piercing bullets. The UNSC ground vehicles were faster, far more manueverable, and hit harder, though with the exception of their Scorpion and Grizzly tanks, none of their Ground Vehicles could take a lot of punishment. And the UNSC air power of Hornets and such were faster and more manueverable than the Republics LAAT's.
This is my problem here now. This is why I made this rant. In both stories though, the UNSC had orbital installations. In one, it was a full sized Space Station for receiving ships and such. The other it was three Oribtal Defense Platforms.
My rant is about how the authors handled boarding actions. In both stories, the Star Wars forces landed troops on the ODPs/Space station. In both stories, the StarWar's forces drove the UNSC Marines from their defenses within a matter of minutes. Half hour at most.
This is where I call bulls$%.
Let's actually think about this, okay? We've got hangers that probably can't fit more than three-four transports inside of them at most. Meaning the Republic can probably only land about three of them inside these hangers to deposit troops. And their best troop transports for boarding actions only carry 40 troops max. That's about 120-160 Clone troopers being deposited into the hangers. They'll have practically no cover once they leave their transports.
Facing them would be probably 30-40 Marines, armed with Assault Rifles, Designated Marksman Rifles, heavy machine guns, and frag grenades. They have defensive positions with heavy cover, and superior armor. Their weapons can chew through Clone/Stormtrooper armor, and they have many auto/rapid fire weapons, meanng lots more lead heading downfield.
You guys do the math. In real life, the Marines would chew through the clone/storm troopers in a matter of minutes, then reload and wait for the next batch. They could hold their position for hours, depending on how well they were supplied with ammo. Instead, in these stories the Marines are easily pushed back by the weight of numbers of clone troopers.
That's my problem. That's my rant. Consistency is blown out the hatch for plot development.
Like I said though, that's my only problem. Otherwise, both stories were really good, and blended the two universes together. My only problem was the boarding actions.
Rant 13: The Academy
I know what you're all thinking. It took you this long to get to this?
Well sorry. It never really fully struck me to write a rant about this till today. Thank you PsychoG for Sealed Legacy Chapter 2.
Okay. So anyways, here we go.
The Shinobi academy of Konoha has always been something I thought was stupid. Why? Because out of everything we'd seen, it focused more on Academics than actual practical skills.
Seriously, think about it. Almost all the scenes involving it consist of them in the classroom listening to their teachers give them lessons, or theoretical scenarios. In the whole time we've seen the Academy, in manga or anime, we've only ever seen them training in taijutsu or weapons. There's no combat scenarios, there is no training in jutsus outside the three basics. Nothing. All the academy does is teach them three basic jutsu, some taijutsu, and a shit load of Academia.
And you know I'm right. Think about it. How else could Sakura be the top kunoichi of the Academy, considering Ino had more skills jutsu wise, and Hinata was a lot more dangerous in taijutsu, if she could get herself to fight? And yet Sakura is top of the class, due to the fact that she's smart. She aces her tests, and has minal chakra, giving her perfect control.
The Academy on a whole is messed up in my opinion. They focus solely on things like brains and what skills the students show off. Not on things like mindset. In the chapter I mentioned up there, by PsychoG, Naruto uses his Sexy Jutsu in front of the Academy Instructors, his fellow classmates, and the Hokage. And all the Instructors, the Hokage, and Sasuke pass out from nosebleeds. And one of the adult kunoichi remarked how Naruto could easily kill all of them while they were passed out.
See? Did any of Sasuke's skills help him there? Nope. He's dead now. Not really, but in a sense.
And let's not forget the fact that out of a graduating class of at twenty seven students, only nine became full genin. NINE! What the *bleep* kind of statistic is that?
At least Kiri, before Zabuza came along, could say it could pass 50% of it's academy students. And those students wouldn't freeze up after making their first kill either. They've already done that.
The Konoha Academy focuses too much on Academics. It wants intelliget ninja, not skilled ones. And while intelligence is important in their profession, it doesn't help if you're all brains and no brawn or skill.
Rant 14: Kakashi Hatake as a sensei
I actually got this rant in my mind while talking to another author on the sight, who wanted my input on some of the characters. One of them was Kakashi, and if I thought he was a good sensei.
And the truth? No, I don't think Kakashi is a good sensei. This is the man of a 1000 jutsu. The student of the Yellow Flash, one of the best jounin of Konoha, and a candidate for Rokudaime Hokage if Naruto isn't ready to become that yet.
But as a sensei? He sucks. Horribly. The only point in all of Naruto, both original and Shippuden, where he seemed like a decent teacher, was in Shippuden helping to teach Naruto his wind affinity.
Let's take a look at the facts. In the past, Kakashi failed all his other students because they couldn't understand an overly complicated test on teamwork. He purposfully set each of them up to fail. And don't bother saying 'well he was trying to teach them to look through deception and understand teamwork'. Those excuses don't work here. The Academy, as I said in my previous rant, puts almost no lessons towards actual ninja mindset. None of them learn teamwork or seeing through deception in the Academy. And then Kakashi expects each team to get those concepts right off the bat? That's bullshit.
Also, Kakashi actions could also be seen as treasonous acts. Think about it. Konoha is primarily a military based mercenary village. They survive off of missions performed by their teams of shinobi. Kakashi's actions in failing each team, simply because he doesn't want to teach one, continually weakens Konoha's military strength by denying them shinobi who could have passed if given a test that was better suited towards their current experience level. Instead, he gives them an overly complicated test, intent on failing them. In my book, that's working against the village, and thus an act of treason.
Then when he finally passed Team 7, let's look at his teaching methods...they're non existent. As far as I can tell, his training consist's of sitting around reading perverted smut while watching his team flounder their way through D-rank missions, in some abstract hope that it'll teach them teamwork. The only time he actually does teach them is when they nearly die, and then he teach's them chakra control. Something that, quite honestly, should have been taught at the Academy, or shortly after they made genin. Plus, it would have been a great way to help build their teamwork early on after he passed them. Or having them spar as he teach's them nin and taijutsu. But nope. Kakashi just watches them blunder their way along, hoping they'll learn their lesson's on their own.
Next up, the chuunin exams. Honestly, none of the Rookie Teams should have been put in at all. They've only been genin for like 6 months. They have little real world experience save for team 7, they haven't killed anyone, they haven't seen people die, and their sensei put them into battle against genin from all over the world, some of whom may have tons more experience and are also good at killing people? Way to really fuck up there. Kakashi is the worst though because he doesn't do it because he has confidence in them. No, he does it to teach them a lesson he's too damn lazy to teach them himself: what the real world is all about for them. Kill or be killed.
And then we get where he abandons Naruto to train Sasuke. Yeah, I know Jiraiya ordered him. But honestly, I would have said 'Fuck you, he's my student too. You can help train him, but I'm training him too'. But no. Kakashi just nods, tells Naruto he can't train him at all, and goes to train Sasuke. Doesn't give him a valid reson why he can't train him. And then he get's Ebisu to train Naruto, which is really stupid since Ebisu shouldn't even be a jounin. He's shown no skill for Elite or Special jounin status. He's maybe a high ranking chuunin at best. Way to go Kakashi, you've again failed at teaching your students as a team. He could have made sure Sakura was still training and learning during that time too.
Overall, Kakashi was a horrible sensei. Just plain horrible. He's sorta good for one on one training, but as a jounin sensei for a whole team, he's atrocious. He has no concept for real training methods, just vaguely pushing his students into situations and hope they learn their own lessons. That's a great way to kill them off, not having them learn things.
Rant 15: Pirate versus Knight of Deadliest Warrior Season 1/Season 3 altogether
For those of you unfamiliar with it, Deadliest Warrior is a show that aired for three seasons on Spike. The show's premise is very simple. They take two warriors from history who never met in combat, test a number of their weapons against each other, and then create a computer simulation in which the two warrior's fight a battle 1,000 times. The winner is the warrior who has the definitive number of wins. Their very first battle was Apache Indian versus Roman Gladiator, with the Apache winning by a fair amount.
Most of the episodes were just plain epic throughout Seasons 1 and 2, especially the William Wallace versus Shaka Zulu episode (which was epic to me due to the fact that according to my mom's father, her side of my family is related to William Wallace. I don't know how, jsut that we are). However, Season 1 had one episode that I strongly disagree with, and I also feel that the tests were not properly done. And that was episode 4, Pirate versus Knight.
The Knight came to battle with a full suit of battle armor, including a shield, as well as the Morning Star Flail, the Crossbow, the Halberd, and the Broadsword. His opponent the Pirate came with the Grenado, Flintlock Pistol, Blunderbuss, Cutlass, and Boarding Axe. And no armor at all.
My first problem is when they showed the testing of the Blunderbuss. They had one of the pirate experts fire this forerunner of the shotgun against a blood filled mannequin torso with a breastplate similar to the knight's. One of the BB sized grapeshot rounds fired from the Blunderbuss managed to penetrate the armor and through the flesh of the target. Due to this, the experts gave the edge to the Pirate's Blunderbuss over the Knight's Halberd, the weapon it was tested against. This is where I first strongly disagree with the episode.
I cannot refute that the Blunderpuss can penetrate the breastplate of the knight, and has more range than the halberd. However, I can refute the idea that it will penetrate all the way through the knight's multiple layers of armor to actually kill the knight. First off, the Knight has a shield. And against that, the blunderbuss very well could fail to penetrate, if the knight is able to bring it into play, due to a majority of shields being usually solid thick wood with a sheet of metal formed over the top, or just being straight up metal.
Even if the shield doesn't come into play, the knight has more than just his breastplate for armor. Under that is a shirt of chainmail, which could very well stop the shot, and if not, then at least it would warp the shot's flight path due to the non linear surface it gives, being a shirt made of hundreds of rings of metal, and thus not one smooth surface but multiple angles for the shot to bounce off of. The chainmail itself could be backed with leather, adding an extra layer to slow the bullet. The knight would also probably have a padded cotton or wool shirt/tunic on under the chainmail, adding a final layer of defense before the shot hit skin.
If the shot somehow managed to make it through all these layers, it's lost a lot of momentum at this point. And even if it still has enough momentum to get through the skin, knights were not exacltly slim or average in size. These guys would train, but they also liked to pack away the food. So there's a fair amount of muscle and fat between the shot and anything serious. So overall, I highly disagree on the idea that the blunderbuss is an effective killing weapon against a knight decked in full armor, unless you put it right against the breastplate and pull the trigger. The only spot I can think of that would be a kill hit would be if the blunderbuss penetrated the knight's helmet, due to the fact that the face is almost completely unprotected behind the visor.
I also really believe that the computer program used to run the simulations was not able to take misfires into account, due to the fact that not only did the Pirate win by a staggering 623 kills, over half of those kills were made by the blunderbuss alone. That means that the blunderbuss, of 1,000 battles, went off succussfully and killed the knight 352 times. That's not counting how many times it went off and missed or only wounded the knight. The pirates flintlock pistol and blunderbuss were both weapons prone to misfires. As such, it is reasonable to assume that they would have had far less efficency than what we can take from the results of this battle. I feel that quite honestly, with the exception of the grenado and the occasional lucky shot from the flintlock and blunderbuss, the pirate had little to no chance at all in defeating the knight's armor. The grenado does provide for shrapnel (which is unperdictable and can go anywhere) and a presusre wave which is blunt force trauma (a nightmare to armor wearing troops like the knight). But the boarding axe and cutlass both prove fairly futile against the knight's armor, the flintlock pistol would only work if you shot him in the face, and the blunderbuss would more than likely require two or three shots to kill the knight. However, it would knock him on his ass if he was hit and it didn't kill him. Overall, I think we should really question the accuracy of that episode, and get all the facts, instead of the ones we were given.
My other problem with Deadliest Warrior was Season 3. By Season 3, Deadliest Warrior altered it's standard testing format to incorparate 'X-factor's. Hundreds of extra things that could affect the course of battle, such as the person's health, diet, intelligence, etc. Now these things are important, yes. But the show made such an incredibly big deal about them, that it sorta replaced the importance of testing the weapons. It felt like the show was more worried about bringing all the X-factor's into play, then it was in testing the weapons. I say this due to the fact that they kept mentioing X-factors in practically every other sentence when they were testing the weapons.
And some of the X-factors were just plain stupid. Like in Pancho Villa versus Crazy Horse. They said that one of the big X-factors that won the battle for Pancho Village (he won the battle), was because he had a medical train that allowed him to have a mobile hospital that could heal wounds.
Well that's great for Pancho Villa. If he's in a prolonged war against Crazy Horse, I'm sure that would help. But he's not. He's in one single battle where only one of them will walk away alive. How the bloody hell does a medical train help him during the battle if he can't get to it, or the medics on it can't get to him since he's fighting Crazy Horse? It doesn't. So it shouldn't have been included at all in the X-factors.
Another X-factor that really screwed the series over, in my opinion, came during the US Army Ranger versus North Korean Special Operation Forces episode. During that episode, the people doing the testing made such a big deal of the battle being on the Korean Penisula. They said that since the North Korean S.O.F. would only be fighting in either North or South Korea, the battle should take place there. This ended up giving the S.O.F. the X-factor of knowledge of the terrain, since they knew their own countryside.
At no point in any of the previous battles of Season 1, 2, or 3 so far did any of the battles take place in terrain familiar to one of the two warriors or groups of warriors. All the battles took place in fairly neutral territory that gave no advantage to one side or the other. And very few, if any, of the warriors used in all three seasons would ever be fighting out of their natural terrain anyway, but that never came up as a factor in the battles either. So why is it the North Korean's got such special treatment? I have no clue, but I do know that it was the major deciding factor in the battle, that allowed them to almost tie with the Rangers. If they had done what they usually did, which was have the Rangers and S.O.F. fight in neutral territory, the Rangers victory would have been by a bigger margin, probably. I can't be entirely sure.
Overall, Season 3 had the potential to be awesome, with incredible fights like Joan of Arc versus William the Conqueror, Lawrence of Arabia versus Teddy Roosevelt (when he was in charge of the Rough Riders), and Genghis Khan versus Hannibal of Carthage. But Season 3 feels like it fell flat, in comparison to it's two predecessors.
Also, the expert who described William the Conqueror's strategy at the battle of Hastings was a freaking moron. If you've seen that episode, do not believe a word that man said. The shield wall was incredible effective against archers, as the ranks behind the first few could raise shields up, stopping barrages of arrows. The reason the Norman's began to retreat was because they thought their leader, William the Conqueror, had died when he fell off his horse. They began to retreat, but William threw off his helmet and declared he was alive, allowing them to turn on the Saxon's who pursued them, as they regained their morale at the sight of their leader. The Saxon line was destroyed due to the Normans turning back on them, and the archers were able to slaughter the remainng Saxon's on the shield wall, since it was much weaker now with the loss of so many men.
Also, in the Genghis Kahn versus Hannibal episode, the War Elephant shouldn't have had as big an impact against Mongols. I mean, yeah it was a very deadly weapon in the right hands, I won't deny that. But the Mongol's dealt with War Elephants when they fought against the Persians, and laid waste to their army. So quite honestly, the War Elephant probably shouldn't have inspired as much fear in the Mongols, or been entirely as effective in combat against them, since the Mongols had experience fighting them, and also had horses that could outrun and out manuever the elephant. Yet of course, this fact is never brought up. *sighs*
Rant 16: Hinata haters
You know, I have no problem with pairings that people like. NaruSaku, KibaHina, SasuKari, whoever! You like who you like, and I'll like who I like. Which is NaruHina, if you don't know already. Though I also can support NaruTayu, NaruAnko, and NaruFemKyuubi.
But I'm getting off topic. If there's one thing I cannot abide though, it's people who try to force their belief down other people's throats. We've all run into the people who say NaruHina is the most overused pairing, and that Hinata is the worst possible pairing for Naruto, and etc. I can accept that people have that opinion. Though honestly, Fanfiction authors who do NaruHina shouldn't get yelled at for it being overused. People come here to write what they want, not write what's popular. You could just as easily say that for any pairing that has 1,000 or more fanfics using that pairing.
But what's worse is the people who feed us garbage. A friend of mine receieved a Pm or review stating he should remove Hinata from Naruto's harem in his fanfic. Some of his reasons being:
1. Hinata is a fangirl of Ino and Sakura proportions.
2. Hinata is the most useless kunoichi ever.
3. Hinata is in love with his fake mask of confidence, and would dump him if he lost that.
4. Hinata just stood by and watched Naruto be alone and desperate for a friend, and didn't do anything.
This person must obviously be reading a different manga and watching a different anime from the actual Naruto and Naruto: Shippuden. Admittedly, they are correct when it came to reason 4. Hinata should have been there for Naruto, instead of hiding in the shadows. While this can be blamed on her shyness, it still does hurt her credibility.
However, the rest is just bullcrap.
Reason 1 is false. Sakura and Ino see Sasuke as perfect, although Sakura becomes better over time. He has no flaws, and any and all who dare say otherwise or oppose Sasuke's will get a beat down by his fangirls. Hinata, however, see's Naruto's flaws and accepted them. She may stalk Naruto (admittedly a little creepy), but she in no way see's Naruto as perfect, or tries to raid his wardrobe or fight over sitting next to him or such. Hinata is in no way a fangirl like Sakura or Ino.
Reason 2 is beyond crap. Admittedly, you kinda need to have watched the anime for this one, but still, let's look at the facts. With the exception of the Naruto movies, Sakura never defeats an opponent on her own. She always has someone else helping her, either in taking them down or coming in to take over the fight. And after the Retrieval Arc, she ends up spending her entire time studying under Tsunade. She doesn't even go on missions anymore, with the exception of the movies.
Ino is the same. Not once do we see her successfully fight off an enemy by herself. She is constantly requiring help from others to beat her enemies, and usually they land the finishing blow. Ino even admits she's outclassed in the last arc of the anime, before Naruto leaves on his training trip, and starts training with Tsunade as well.
Hinata, however, shows herself to be far more powerful. In the anime, I can recall seeing her take down a boss summon, along with two of the ninjas allied with the summoner, a high chuunin to jounin ranked rogue ninja, and at least one thug, ALL BY HERSELF! She didn't require any help or aid from others, she took them down by herself. And this is as a genin. She also made two Jyuuken based jutsu's on her own, with probably no help from any other Hyuuga's.
Also, let's not forget Pein's invasion of Konoha. Who was it that attacked Pein, suicidally, to protect Naruto? Hinata. Sakura didn't do it. Ino didn't do it. Hinata did. Hinata is clearly the strongest of the Rookie 9 Kunoichi, when she puts her mind to it.
Reason 3. Yes, Hinata did first fall for Naruto for his mask of confidence. But as we hear her say later, she admires Naruto not for his confidence, but for his never give up attitude. She admires, and possibly loves Naruto, for the fact that he will not stay down. That when he fails, when he falls, he just get's back up and tries again. That's what she admires most about him. And let's not forget, Naruto confessed his lack of confidence, in beating Neji, to her right before the Chuunin exam Finals. She knows some, if not a lot, of his confidence is just hot air. Yet we still see she loves him later on.
Look, if you want to hate Hinata, or dislike her, I'm not trying to tell you to stop. That's your thing. What I am saying, though, is make sure you have your facts right. Hinata is not the shallow fangirls we see in Ino or Sakura. She's not useless, and she is not in love with Naruto's mask. She's probably the second most skilled kunoichi of the Konoha 12 (behind Tenten), and she sees the real Naruto, and accepts him for it.
Rant 17: Hiding Naruto's Potential
Okay, this is not a rant in the sense of me being pissed off or angry. This is more of an 'educational eye opener' to the Naruto authors of fanfiction.
In many fanfics where Naruto starts to gain a lot of skill and ability during the Academy Years, fanfic authors will have Naruto, or his mentor (generally a figure from another series, Kyuubi, Hiruzen Sarutobi, or an OC), decide that in order to protect Naruto from enemies, Naruto has to hide his true abilities and potential so as not to draw attention to himself.
Well that's fine idea, and makes a lot of sense. But the problem is the fact that everyone seems to think Naruto needs to be the Dead Last in order to hide his potential.
This is actually a move that is possibly as lethal, if not more, then Naruto showing his skills off and becoming the Rookie of the Year. And here's the reason why.
If Naruto is considered the Dead Last, people will underestimate him. And that's all fine and good as it means he can surprise them in combat. But if Naruto ends up in a situation where he has to unveil his skills to survive, like say fighting against Zabuza or any other high ranking chuunin or a jounin level opponent, that is going to throw up a big red flag. People will wonder how the Dead Last went from being the Dead Last to being capable of pushing someone like Zabuza to fight seriously, or being able to defeat someone like Zabuza. You don't just go from being Dead Last to being that strong without drawing attention to yourself and making yourself a big target.
That's why it's actually smarter for Naruto to be AVERAGE in the Academy. Not Rookie of the Year, not Dead Last, just average. Think about it. In a class roughly made up of thirty students, twenty eight of them fall into the category of being average. Some might be near the Dead Last, some might be near the Rookie of the Year, but they're all still average.
And then take into account what happens when Naruto goes out into the field and starts show casing some of his skills? Yeah he'll still draw attention to himself if he goes toe to toe with Zabuza. But if he battles a chuunin level opponent, it's not as big of a shock when he starts uunveiling his skills. He' average, so it means that he probably could improve to that level. So people won't notice that much if he shows off improved skills or abilities. Meaning they don't go investigating, they don't start targetting him as much.
Rant 18: The Uchiha Clan Massacre
So, with all the recent revelations and such involving the Uchiha clan, Kishimoto has pretty much convulted what was once a very simple plot. That is, Itachi Uchiha killed his entire clan to test his power, sparing his little brother Sasuke on a whim.
Now, we've got that the Uchiha were planning a coup attempt against Konoha because of rumors spread that they could control the Kyuubi, making people think they were going to take over Konoha. So they did start planning to take over Konoha to protect themselves. And so Itachi actually killed the clan, with help from Madara Uchiha/Tobi/Obito Uchiha, on orders from Konoha's government to protect the village. But apparently now the Uchiha have a whole lot of good people who were 'better men' then the Hokage's were. The men chosen to lead the village, chosen to take charge of and lead the entire village...and they're saying people from a clan well known for hatred, greed, and insanity are better men then themselves.
Just...all...bulls$% Kishimoto. Just freaking bulls$%. STICK TO ONE FREAKING PLOT!
Takes a deep breath* Sorry about that. But it's time to get to my rant.
Now most of you will probably scratch your heads here. Afterall, I have not exactly hidden my utter contempt for Sasuke, and in this very rant, I made it clear what I thought of Kishimoto's attempts to make the Uchiha clan look good. For the most part, I despise the Uchiha clan, because I do feel like they are power hungry, snooty, and all around a-holes, based on their bloodline, which allows them to basically steal other people's work and HAX their way to victory.
But what I'm talking about here though are the unknown casualities of the Uchiha clan massacre. We all know that the shinobi and the adults of the Uchiha clan died. But Kishimoto cleverly hid something from all of us. A fact that only in the last few months have I realized: that there were many, many innocent people killed that night.
I am referring to those who were not shinobi or adults at the time of the Uchiha clan massacre. I am talking about the babies and young toddlers who didn't even know what was going on around them. Of the young children, who simply played and lived and had their whole lives ahead of them. Of the Academy students, just now learning the ways of Konoha shinobi. Of the young genin, freshly graduated from the Academy, ready to serve their village, with no idea of the shadowy actions of their village or their clan.
What happened to all of them? Surely Sauske and Itachi were not the only people in the Uchiha clan below the age of twenty? Surely there were other young Uchiha children as well. In a clan the size of the Uchiha, you knew there had to be. And if that's the case, you know that they were killed as well.
What about Uchiha born without chakra? Those who led simple lives as civilians? Those who had already retired, and only now wanted to live peacefully, watching their children or grandchildren grow up. The elderly, too weak or crippled to fight anymore?
Kishimoto shows us only one side to the massacre: the death of the traitors intent on overthrowing Konoha for self preservation. We do not see the real tragedy of the massacre, the death's of many innocents that probably outweighed the number of guilty who were killed. It is understandable, as Naruto is not one of those truley gritty and dark animes, like Hellsing, and so such truly dark things are not brought up. But still, the fact remains that it was not just guilty shinobi dying that night.
And that is what I find so wrong with the Uchiha Clan Massacre. That many innocent people were killed, and yet no one seems to realize that fact, whether they are an author on fanfiction, or simply a fan of the show.
In many ways, I think that this fact also shows just how truly heartless and depraved Danzou was. Several authors might try to make him seem a bit sympathetic, make him seem only misguided in his beliefs of what was best for Konoha. I cannot, for one second, believe anything about that man is or was capable of bringing about sympathy. Not when he is responsible for the death's of people who's only crime was simply being named Uchiha. As far as I'm concerned, Danzou is a man equal in evil to Hitler, Stalin, and any other figure in history who ordered the genoicide of an entire people. The man deserves no sympathy.
Rant 19: Star Wars vs Star Trek
First off, this isn't a rant. Because honestly, there isn't really anything to rant about. This is actually a discussion I've had with my dad, and I thought I would share my findings with you all.
My dad has been a huge fan of Star Trek, espiecally the original series and the early movies, since he grew up with them. I, however, greatly enjoyed Star Wars a lot more. And from time to time, we'd get into discussions about how the technology on each show would work, and what not. But one question I always had was this: if you pitted ships from Star Wars against ships from Star Trek, who would win?
Well, I have an answer for you. And that answer is simple: Star Wars.
Now I'm not saying this because I like Star Wars better. I'm saying this because I've done some actual research and comparison and such. And here are my results.
In one episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, we saw an alien ship fire a type of directed energy weapon at the Enterprise D. This weapon had a power output of 400 Gigawatts and nearly wiped out the Enterprise D's shields, if not actually doing so anyways. So from that, we can guess that the shields a Galaxy-class Starship like the Enterprise D can only absorb roughly 400 billion watts of power before giving out, leaving the ship itself vunerable to attack.
After doing some additional searching, I found a site that was determining the power of the turbolaser batteries used by Imperial Star Destroyers in the Star Wars universe. Their estimation was that a standard medium turbolaser on an Imperial Star Destroyer was capable of delivering an average 6,700 Terajoules of power with each blast. Converted into watts, that's 1,861,111,111,111.111 watts.
So, one single blast from a medium turbolaser from the Star Wars universe is over 4 times more powerful then the shields of the Enterprise D. What this translates to is basically one shot, one kill. An Imperial Class Star Destroyer, with one volley of turbolaser fire, could possibly wipe out an entire Federation Armada.
Addition: While re-watching the Voyager series, I came to the realization that there might be one Star Trek series who may not necessarily have the defensive capabilities to match the Star Wars universe, but has the offensive capabilities to do so: Species 8472. In Star Trek: Voyager, this species emerges from a sub universe known as Fluidic Space, when they are attacked by the Borg. They promptly begin an invasion of our universe, intent on destroying the Borg and all other life.
Species 8472's bioships quickly prove to be more then a match for the Borg, as they begin to systematically slaughter the Borg, destroying countless ships and Borg held planets. Their weaponry proves able to annihilate Borg Cubes in two or three hits. And 8 of them, channeling energy through a 9th ship, are capable of destroying a planet.
In comparison, their weaponry has the potential to match Star Wars weaponry in destructive capabilities. What's more, Species 8472 can deliver that much firepower in the form of a small one man ship, giving them a massive advantage in being able to field far more ships, each with almost equal firepower to a Rebel or Imperial cruiser. the only downside I can see is that their ships may not be able to handle the amount of damage in return. While they prove incredibly resilient to even the weaponry of the Borg, they can still be damaged by Borg weaponry. Since Star Wars weaponry delivers far more damage and power, 8472's bioships may not be able to handle taking damage.
Rant 20: The excuse that 'There are no happy endings in Reality'
This is a rant that is targeting the excuse fanfiction authors use to defend some of their choices when they write chapters. The excuse they use that they're just adding 'reality' to their fanfics, to explain why a character was raped, why they were kidnapped, why they were killed.
Their excuse is that in reality, bad stuff happens. These sorts of things happen. And yes. IN REALITY, these horrible things happen. Good guys die, bad guys win, horrible things happen to nice people. IN REALITY!
What these people need to wake up and realize is that they are not writing REALITY. They are not writing non-fiction. They are writing FICTIONAL things. And in FICTIONAL THINGS, good things do happen. Good guys do win, happy endings do exist, so on and so forth.
In the world of Naruto, not once is it ever shown that rogue ninjas and criminals and such would go around raping people. It's not even implied. But these people feel that they need to be realistic, and add it in. NO YOU DON'T! IT'S FICTION! IT'S MAKE BELIEVE! STOP TRYING TO DRAGS US BACK INTO OUR FUCKED UP REALITIES!
If you want to do these dark and gritty 'realistic' things, then fine. Do it. But don't sit back and pussy out by trying to defend yourself saying it's 'realisitc'. That excuse doesn't work in the world of FICTION. Defend yourself by saying the truth. You wanted it to happen. You wanted that in your fanfic so you could move your plot along or you wanted to create drama. Stop trying to hide behind a paper shield and man/woman up to the consequences of your choices.
Rant 21: The Force Awakens
Before I begin, I want to say this here and now. This is solely my opinion here. Do not take this as fact, or me trying to force you to think the way I do. I'm merely venting and ranting here, and you're free to read it, and then think whatever it is you want to think. But this is my opinion here.
Took me a while to get the courage to write this rant. *Takes a deep breath* But...well here we go.
I've stated in the past that I am a fan of Star Wars. Not to the level that others are, as sadly my life growing up kept me out of touch with the latest books, games, and consoles. I never got a chance to try out Knights of the Old republic and stuff when it came out. But suffice to say, I have greatly enjoyed the movies, and I enjoyed the canon that went beyond it, both into the past and the future.
And then along came Disney, buying up Star Wars from George Lucas. Their first decision? Completely annihilate thirty years worth of canon belonging to the Extended Universe. Their reasoning? To create their own crap.
Needless to say...this decision alone infuriated me, along with several of my friends. We've all been fans of the EU for quite some time. I'm admittedly lacking in full knowledge of everything that happens, but I've found several things I enjoyed from it, such as Mara Jade. I liked Mara Jade. She was a complex character, and I enjoyed reading about her development, from a devoted assassin of the Emperor to a smuggler struggling to find her own path, to a fledgling Jedi under the leadership of the man she swore to kill, to marrying said man and becoming his wife. I also enjoyed Grand Admiral Thrawn, a man who was an incredibly skilled tactician who probably came the closest out of the any remaining Imperial Admirals and Warlords to overthrowing the New Republic. A complex and worthy adversary.
But, Disney swept them all away. Well...swept them all away, declared them non canon, only to turn around and start picking up individual bits and pieces to shove into their own crap they created. *Shudders softly* I haven't seen Rebels, but the bits and pieces I have seen, makes me want to cry at the almost Michael Bay levels of stupidity I'm seeing. And what I mean by that is the 'wow, look at how awesome this is, and please don't note how stupid and inconsistent it is'.
But I'm getting off track. I was furious at them destroying the Extended Universe, and when I heard about the new movie they were releasing, The Force Awakens, I'll admit I had no enthusiasm for it. As I heard people talking about it and getting all excited and stuff, I felt none of that. I was angry that the canon I enjoyed, I grew up with, at least the amounts I had seen or read, was cast aside on a freaking whim. I was even more angry when people were talking about how WONDERFUL it was the EU had been declared non-canon. So of course, I refused to see the movie in theaters. But I heard how everyone was proclaiming it was such a great movie and stuff. Well...except a couple of my friends who went to see it. They proclaimed it as 'two and a half hours of their lives wasted'.
Still, I felt it was only right that if I was to judge the movie, I needed to see it, to have my own honest opinion. So when it came out on Netflix, I rented it, popped it in, and watched it. And I honestly feel justified...in my utter loathing of this movie.
Let me start off by saying this: if the movie was not a Star Wars movie, but simply an original scifi movie, all on its own, I would say it was an 'okay' movie. Acceptable, but only just. It has flaws relevant to a movie in general, but nothing that is really horrible. Just enough to make it an average movie. Primarily, the Mary Sue-esque main character and the completely unintimidating antagonist, mixed in with a plot that doesn't entirely make sense due to some unanswered questions and such.
But that's judging it...if it weren't a Star Wars movie. Judging it as a part of the Star Wars universe...it is by far the absolute worse movie to call itself Star Wars, ever. I mean...if you want to get technical, the Holiday Special was far, far worse, but this one is still the second worst. I found the prequel trilogy more enjoyable then this movie was.
For starters...it's not a new Star Wars movie people. It literally is just A New Hope. Literally. I know the writers were like 'well we want to make sure we can make a Star Wars movie', but this isn't doing that. This would be plagiarism if it wasn't for the fact they own A New Hope in the first place. The plot involves a massive planet destroying weapon that an evil powerful organization has, and a small group of rebel/resistance people have to destroy it. Then a small droid that has incredible important information stored inside of it (admittedly not plans to the planet destroying weapon, but still) ends up on a desert planet where said droid is found by an orphan who is skilled in using and repairing technology. Said orphan ends up agreeing to help the droid, and is soon joined by a cocky side kick figure, and while they're pursued by the evil powerful organization, they join forces with an older mentor figure who starts mentoring them as they head for the rebel/resistance base. In the end, the older mentor figure is killed by the antagonist, the giant planet destroying weapon is destroyed in a last ditch effort by small one man fighters belonging to the rebel/resistance group, and the desert orphan turns out to be the last hope for a group of good guy mystic space wizards. SOUND FUCKING FAMILIAR?! Literally, the cast might as well just wear masks over their faces representing the 'A New Hope' character they're ripping off. *points to Rey wearing a Luke mask, Finn wearing a Han Solo mask, and Han Solo wearing an Obi-Wan Kenobi mask* Not to mention that in the process, they create huge gaping plot holes because they do rip off A New Hope. A New Hope gives us only general information about the lore and setting of the Star Wars universe, because it is the first movie. It can focus on just giving us a general setting, and allow later movies to build more on the details. All we really needed was 'we're good, they're bad, help us kill them and become a space wizard in the process'. That's it. And it works. But Force Awakens can't get away with it. It's part of the Star Wars story, so it needs to connect itself to the other movies. But it doesn't. We don't know how this First Order came to being. We BARELY even know anything about the Jedi Luke was training. How in the hell did they fall so quickly, just because of one guy? How was Luke defeated so easily BY ONE GUY?! Not to mention WHY is the New Republic not fighting the First Order? Why are they leaving it to this 'Resistance' that they aren't even funding or backing? They literally aren't. The Resistance is on it's own. And you know why? Because it's trying to be A New Hope. So it creates huge gaping plot holes that you can drive a Star Destroy through, in its effort to be A New Hope.
As if that blatant plagiarism wasn't bad enough, let's then get to the next horrible things: our protagonist and antagonist. Rey, our protagonist, is an orphan living on a desert world who makes her living bringing in scrap and junk to an outpost in order to get food. She's the one who finds the droid that has the important information on it, and serves as our Luke Skywalker for the movie. The problem is, Rey is a freaking Mary Sue. Literally. She and Alice from Resident Evil must have been top of the class graduates from the Mary Sue Academy. What do I mean by this? Well let's see...she suddenly hops behind the controls of a ship she has never piloted before, and has absolutely no experience at all piloting a starship (piloting her what the heck mobile doesn't count as starship piloting experience), and yet not even two minutes later, we're seeing her fly the Millenium Falcon as if she's been doing it her entire life. Hell, she pilots it BETTER then Han Solo and Lando Calrissian, the men who had previously owned the Millenium Falcon, and whom one of which piloted it expertly through an asteroid field, while the other piloted it through the bowels of the second Death Star. Yet Rey clearly outshines them, especially with a BS maneuver where she cuts the engines, in atmosphere, front flips the ship over so Finn can shoot down a Tie Fighter, then somehow reignites the engines and pulls up before crashing into the surface. Oh, and all while only being a couple HUNDRED feet above the surface of the planet. Someone might say 'oh the repulsorlift technology would keep her from crashing into the ground until the engines reignited'. Yeah well if she had said repulsorlifts on, I'd agree with you, but she doesn't.
But that's not even the worst of it. Oh no. The worst is when it comes to her being a freaky prodigy apparently with the Force and lightsabers. Literally, she had no idea what the Force was, until it's explained to her by Han Solo, and then literally mere hours later, without having any prior experience in even knowing how to tap into the Force, and with only just being exposed to what it feels like or can do mere MINUTES earlier...Rey successfully mind tricks a stormtrooper into releasing her form her restraints by her third attempt at mind tricking him. Luke was still having trouble using basic pull or push abilities with the Force like a year after being introduced to it, but Rey can use more complicated techniques mere minutes after being exposed to it? And of course, her epic duel against Kylo Ren, where she literally is using a lightsaber for the first time ever, in her freaking life...and she OUTDUELs a guy who has years of lightsaber experience over her. First time ever holding an activated lightsaber, and using it, and she OUTDUELS a man who has years of both Jedi and Sith training. WORST MARY SUE OF ALL TIME!
And for those of you who will say 'oh that's just how the Force works', no. No no no. Just shut up right now. You wanna know why the Force DOESN'T work that way? *points to Luke Skywalker training in A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, points to all the Jedi younglings and Jedi training in prequel trilogy, and points to every book, comic book, graphic novel, and video game pertaining to Jedi and Sith* That's why! Not once have we ever, EVER seen a force wielder just instantly pick up on how to do these things thanks to the Force. All of them have spent years training to do how they do what they do. The closest we've ever seen was 9 year old Anakin Skywalker knowing how to pilot Podracers and a starfighter, and even then with the latter, we see he's desperately trying to figure out how to make it work, not going from 'noob to prodigy' in ten seconds flat. Everyone else either trains their butt off, or has prior experience (Luke Skywalker was already a hotshot stunt pilot in an atmospheric craft that was not only built by the same company that made the X-Wing, but has incredibly similar controls as the X-Wing). The Force doesn't automatically make you a prodigy. It simply nudges and subconsciously guides you.
And then Kylo Ren. The man who's supposed to be our intimidating antagonist. You know, like Darth Vader? *points to the terrifying armored figure* What do we get instead? A petulant pretty boy man child who throws temper tantrums when he's angry, who looks like the love child of Severus Snape and Tom Riddle, and who through the whole movie, just makes me want to grab him and shake him, screaming 'man up and being a fucking Sith you wuss! Anakin Skywalker in Revenge of the Sith was more intimidating then you!'. Hell, I'd say DARTH JAR JAR BINKS would be scarier then Kylo Ren. Also, I know we're supposed to feel sympathetic for his struggle with being Ben Solo and being Kylo Ren, but seriously...no. Just no. I just don't see it. I don't see or feel any reason to be sympathetic to this guy. All I feel is annoyed, angry, and disappointed that THIS was the best that Disney could throw at us. Him and a giant holographic version of Gollum from Lord of the Rings. Especially when we then see him get owned, again, by someone who's never held or used a lightsaber in their life. Worst...Sith...Ever.
And let's not forget Han Solo's death. I suppose it was inevitable Han Solo was going to die, he is the old mentor figure and they always bite the dust. But he is Han freaking Solo. He is a badass character. VERY badass character. Do you know how you kill off badass characters? IN BADASS WAYS! Han Solo deserves nothing less then to be wounded at the controls of a damaged, on fire, failing Millenium Falcon, making a suicidal badass run on an Imperial Capital ship, before quietly smiling or saying some badass one liner as he smashes into the star Destroyer and takes it down, giving allies time to escape. Or to be in a last stand with only his trusty pistol at his side, shooting it out with Imperial Stormtroopers. Now yes...admittedly him trying to reach out to his son is emotional and I did feel moved by that part, but that was then promptly ruined by his son being a douche and shanking him with his lightsaber and Han falling to his death. That was just...no. no no no. That is not how you kill off Han Solo. It just isn't.
Then we have Captain Phasma. Heralded as being this strong female character who doesn't need sexist armor to define her and such. The head of the stormtroopers serving Kylo Ren. Someone we'd expect to be an utter badass henchwoman of our enemy. And what do we get? Like maybe three to five lines of dialogue, she get's captured by Han and Finn without a fight, takes down the shield of the Starkiller base without any struggle or protest at all...and then vanishes. That's right...that's what we get from this supposedly strong fierce warrior of the evil First Order. If she were a good guy character, she'd be one of those strong female heroines who suddenly develops plot amnesia three quarters of the way through the movie, get's captured, and has to be rescued by the male heroes, even though she was a badass throughout the first half of the movie. Absolute waste.
I have other things as well wrong with the movie, but they are far more technical, dealing more with understanding the technology and such of the Star Wars universe. Suffice to say certain vehicles and technologies in the movie were gravely mishandled in my opinion. You want more details, PM me.
But let me say this...despite how angry I was at Disney for destroying the EU, and how much I loathe this movie...the potential was there for a good, if not great movie. It really was there. If they had made Finn the main character (as he actually WAS an interesting character), and made Rey the side kick, perhaps made her a Jedi Knight who senses the potential in Finn to be a Jedi, or something, and had them working together to find the missing master of the Jedi Order (Luke Skywalker), as the First Order only NOW makes itself known, and the New Republic scrambles to fight this grave new threat against them...THAT would have been a Star Wars movie plot worth seeing. But instead...we get what we got. A movie that I find so horrible...I honestly would prefer listening to Jar Jar Binks then ever seeing it again. Yes, I am deadly serious about that.
This is again only my opinion. Feel free to disagree, or agree. To each their own. *shrugs*
Addendum: Something I realized, thanks to an article I read...how many of you realize that Force Awakens completely and utterly makes the events of A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi meaningless and worthless? Seriously...the rebels struggle against the Empire, Obi-Wan's death, Luke's development, the fall of the Emperor and such...it was all made MEANINGLESS...by Force Awakens. Think about it. Luke develops as a Jedi, eventually bringing about the Jedi's return...only to then have it all taken away and he goes and wallows on some planet in misery and what not for probably ten to fifteen years. The rebellion defeats the Empire and becomes the New Republic, only to sit back and do NOTHING to protect itself, before it's obliterated entirely, pretty much leaving the First Order to take over the galaxy again.
Literally, every moment of struggle and development and victory in the ORIGINAL TRILOGY...was made utterly pointless and meaningless by Force Awakens, which simply turned the entire adventure and sage into a cycle of the same crap happening over and over again. If I was given to paranoia, I'd say Disney did it that way on purpose to make people forget the original Star Wars just so we'll all grovel at the feet of their new Star Wars.
Addendum 2.0: I just realized today, talking with my dad, that Force Awakens goes and rips off the EU as well. You know, the thing that it makes non canon? The Jedi Order, built by Luke Skywalker, was nearly destroyed by Luke's nephew, Jacen Solo. Well...in the movie...who is it that wipes out Luke's Jedi Order? Kylo Ren, AKA Ben Solo. In other words...Luke's nephew. SOUND FAMILIAR? So Disney ripped off even that from the EU canon it declared non canon. Great. Just great.
Here is the beginning of my copy and paste section.
Due to an interesting comment from another person, I have decided to deliver the following warning. There are a number of things here that are tearjerkers, and will cause an emotion break down for those who are rather emotional. If you easily breakdown, emotionally, you've been warned.
Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.
I, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.
It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.
If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.
While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be looseing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.
For those that may agree with this, please fell free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.
if you send this petition, add your name to the list, do not replace Psudocode Samurai's, and PM psudocode Samurai to have your name added to the master copy if you wish...
ChaosSonic1, Leaf Ranger
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
We're a Dying Breed
To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait.”
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what.
To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car. To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her.
...This one bulletin is for you...
Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there... i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed " If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."
This is really sweet...
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.
Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this.
Abortion is just wrong. Every life is precious. Help stop abortion.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
Abortion is just wrong. Every life is precious. Help stop abortion.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
RIP We shall remember
Her name was Auroura
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe and God and Jesus Christ is His son...
Then copy and paste this into your profile
If you ignore him, in the Bible, Jesus says..
"If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my father in Heaven..."
If you think the Pirate versus Knight episode of Deadliest Warrior, Season1, was a bunch of bullcrap, copy and paste this to your profile, and add your name! Leaf Ranger
If you think Naruto and Hinata are meant to be together and think that it will happen, copy and paste in your profile. NARUHINA FTW!! DarkSamuraiX1999
If you are an addict to Naruto and favorite couple is NaruHina then copy & paste this to your profile By Aaron Leach and DarkSamuraiX1999
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list:Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, Staring.out.my.flooded.window, TheDevilsAngel93, c. b. o. l., Vert9411, pinkcherryblossoms225, CherryBlossoms016, Sam-AKA-SakuxSasuLover-, crimsonchidori, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger
Naruto for Rokudaime Hokage! If you also want Naruto to succeed Tsunade as the next Hokage, copy and paste this to your profile page, and add your name to the list! Help Naruto achieve his dream!:KinKitsune01, adngo714, MarlinMan, Alicia Kawa Uchiha, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger
If you believe that Naruto and Hinata are the greatest pairing, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger
If you actually wouldn't mind school if it was Naruto-related, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name here: Moonlight Music Mistress, Xanie,NejiTenfanforever, Death Note Lover, NarutoLuver35, FDS-Sasuke-fangirl, SilentSinger948, Leaf Ranger
If you would absolutely love waking up in a different dimension full of magic, put this into your profile
If you think Masashi Kishimoto is ruining Naruto and agree, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. The Fifth Rider of Armageddon, Hiroshima Namikaze, Zaara the black, desuta, Reikson, D-reaper X-20, blackstardragon624, chinoodin, The Silver Blossom, RasenganFin, Raidentensho, Knives91, Kingkakashi, DarkSamuraiX1999, THE HEE-HO KING, Wirespeed91, Naruto 21, GraityTheWizard, GuyverZero, durwin, Hakkyou no Yami, VFSNAKE, Stormrunner56, Haru Kitsune, DragonMaster4381, Demon Wraith, Leaf Ranger
The US government may take wolves off the endangered species list. that means hunters and anyone can kill trap and skin wolves or kill them for the fun of it. IF YOU BELIVE THIS IS DOWN-RIGHT WRONG AND WANT TO VOICE YOUR OPINON OR PUT A STOP TO THIS COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE WITH YOUR NAME AFTER IT!! 0x-i-Need-A-Hug-x0, darklightningdevil, 13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13, RainLily13, Valleygoat,Naru-chan and Kashi-kun, miss-perfections, Mikie-From-Ireland, DarkIsRising, dracohalo117, Leaf Ranger
Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off its orbit" for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet, then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.
Sauria from A Simple Mission:
Special thanks to Maximum Potter, and dracohalo117. You guys rock!
My Patronus is a Stag
Your patronus takes the form of a Stag. A stag is proud and strong, which is characteristic of your personality. You have a powerful and compassionate heart. You find strength in protecting others, particularly friends and family, or those who are weak. Your patronus is shared by one of the most famous wizards ever, Harry Potter. You have little to no trouble conjuring a patronus because your desire to defend yourself and others outweighs your fears and allows you to focus on the task at hand.