Hakeber.N
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Joined 07-14-08, id: 1634293, Profile Updated: 09-21-14
Author has written 3 stories for Fahrenheit 451, Death Note, and God's Not Dead.

Okay, this whole "THIS IS NOT A PROFILE" joke is done. It's old and overused and done. So.

This is a profile. Of a sort.

I do write fanfiction. In a way. I just successfully published my first fic in over five years. Go read it if you want. And now that this one's done, I've got ideas for other ones bubbling around my brain. Especially since I finally have a good handle on my narrative voice. (It's some combination of Tolkien-tier long, rambling sentences, weirdly interspersed imagery, and just enough profanity to keep that T rating going strong.)

And, of course, I still use this account to archive my old favorites, and some new faves too.

So yeah.

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Girls In Glass Houses by Greensl33ves reviews
While in the Hospital Wing after being taken to the Chamber of Secrets, Ginny encounters the one person willing to ask her what really happened: Luna Lovegood. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,974 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/26/2016 - Ginny W., Luna L., Poppy P. - Complete
Presents by thatswhyyyoudont reviews
Mello x Near slash, if you like. When Mello hears of L's death, he goes back to bed. Wammy's House, canon-divergent.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,084 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/26/2016 - Near, Mello, Matt, Roger - Complete
Dante's Stars by Pretani reviews
Futurefic. Violet/Klaus V/K The Baudelaires are on the run, in the last months before Violet's 18th birthday.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 33 - Words: 101,312 - Reviews: 198 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 2/2/2015 - Published: 2/7/2007 - [Violet B., Klaus B.] - Complete
Teacher's Pet by GazingAbyss reviews
Josh is shocked by a confession from Prof. Radisson that completely changes the nature of their debate.
God's Not Dead - Rated: T - English - Spiritual/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,555 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/11/2015 - Published: 10/18/2014 - Josh W., Professor Rattigan - Complete
Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles ) by proudhousewife reviews
Do you want your little ones to read books; and they want to read the Harry Potter Books; but you do not want them to turn into witches? Well-this is the story for you! This story has all the adventure of JKR's books; but will not lead your children astray. For concerned mommies everywhere! Blessings! Grace Ann
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,415 - Reviews: 13901 - Favs: 986 - Follows: 1,097 - Updated: 10/24/2014 - Published: 8/24/2014
The Room: A Novelization by GazingAbyss reviews
The classic movie, now in novel form!
The Room, 2003 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 25 - Words: 52,249 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/21/2013 - Complete
Two Ordinary, Healthy Kids by Fraija reviews
Brad and Janet were in love before the light at the Frankenstein place drew them in. They crawled across the rubble to hold each other- so something is left. They try to figure out what it is.
Rocky Horror - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,767 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/21/2012 - Brad M., Janet W. - Complete
Pillowy Man Breasts by Chip-Nips reviews
A Tim and Eric trollfic. As gratuitous and crazy as possible.
Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,458 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2011 - Complete
Bright by Anti-Logic reviews
After the game, the kids and trolls must cultivate a new universe. Kanaya is fascinated by the remnants that Earth left behind. Rose/Kanaya.
Homestuck - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,179 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/3/2011 - Rose L., Kanaya M. - Complete
Prototype by Havoc Creations reviews
Strong Bad's always had an active imagination. So when he suspects Homestar Runner of being a robot, no one believes him. But what if he was right? AU, slash
Homestar Runner - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 42,217 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/10/2010 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Complete
Irritation by Lexical Item reviews
The psychiatrist spoke. "You might as well help yourself to a book, as it is your time that we're wasting." "You don't consider this a waste of your time?" Artemis enquired. "Oh no," the psychiatrist replied offhand. "I'm getting paid."
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,855 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 638 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 10/12/2010 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Artemis F. - Complete
Flawless by SmallSerpent reviews
"Guy liked it when things were flawless..." 500 word Leon/Guy flashfic. Slash, quite obviously.
Left Behind - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 607 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/3/2010 - L. Fortunato - Complete
The Abysmal Dating Life of Harry Potter by Celebony reviews
Dating's tough when you're Harry Potter. Ron watches his best friend go through some very bad dating experiences, while going through some awkward ones of his own. H/R slash. Please note the rating and warnings inside.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,994 - Reviews: 436 - Favs: 1,236 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 1/9/2010 - Published: 11/18/2009 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
Dead People by Tierfal reviews
Near hears dead people. Matt/Mello, L/Light, Gevanni/Near.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,699 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 45 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Near, S. Gevanni - Complete
Murder by Publicity by Seraphina2 reviews
Set from Act II on. Finding murder too inelegant, Dr. Horrible finds a different way to destroy Captain Hammer.
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 784 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 333 - Follows: 31 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Dr. Horrible/Billy, Captain Hammer - Complete
Palindrome by Translucent Darkness reviews
Oneshot. Interpol wants to use the Mirror of Erised, and Professor Dumbledore wants to find out why. 'It's just a normal mirror.'
Crossover - Harry Potter & Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,198 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 37 - Published: 7/2/2009 - Albus D., L - Complete
Secret Love by rodeo-duck reviews
They're a lot like Lancelot and Guinevere. Ginny/Luna fluff.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 147 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Ginny W., Luna L. - Complete
The Game Of Few by L-Syllabub reviews
Cameron/Chloe, Cameron/Ray, Implied Cameron/Others - All day long he’s felt like that, as if some tiny screw inside him was being wound tighter and tighter and tighter.
Left Behind - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,355 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Complete
Caveat Emptor by Tierfal reviews
In which there are shopping trips, sarcasm, backhanded compliments, dark rooms, big guns, bubble baths, trauma of every sort, and detailed fantasies involving cake - lots of those. Let the buyer beware indeed. L/Light.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,536 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 2/27/2009 - Published: 2/16/2009 - L, Light Y. - Complete
Sometime Around Midnight by murderofonerose reviews
This is not based on the song of the same name. Much. But it IS Ford/Arthur pwp.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,511 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Complete
Martyr by Alien ABC's reviews
All Mello wants is something to die for. Matt’s ruining everything by giving him something to live for.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,429 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Mello, Matt - Complete
Window, Tree by Tierfal reviews
Sayu would like nothing more than for Light to go boil his head right now, but he always has to have the last word. Matsuda/Sayu, with background Light/L.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 873 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 11 - Published: 1/21/2009 - Sayu Y., Light Y. - Complete
Eternal Return by Silver Pard reviews
For the Greater Good. Harry understands this.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,283 - Reviews: 412 - Favs: 2,359 - Follows: 471 - Published: 12/19/2008 - Harry P., Voldemort - Complete
Pure Chance by Tierfal reviews
Five years after the events of "Dumb Luck," Near invites Matt and Mello over to celebrate their victory over Kira. So begins the kinkiest tea party in the history of mankind. Matt/Mello/Near.
Death Note - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,377 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 27 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Dumb Luck by Tierfal reviews
“Mello smiled like a complacent cat. ‘We,’ he announced, ‘should play strip poker.’” Matt/Mello/Near Wammy's madness ensues.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,609 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 18 - Published: 11/10/2008 - Matt, Mello - Complete
Revelations 1 and 2 by TheRimmerConnection reviews
In which Ford and Arthur are stuck in the hold of a ship, in the dark, with somebody, or something... then let out...at 10,000 feet, and the question is asked: can they possibly behave themselves for the duration? Mild FordArthur, but I can't stop them...
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,651 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/6/2008 - Published: 6/23/2007 - Complete
Salt by Alien ABC's reviews
He doesn't understand, but he obeys. Slash.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 479 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Mikami T. - Complete
Bravery by Tierfal reviews
At the heart of it, the fault belongs to a long-dead Connecticut doctor, but Light will always blame L. It's L's fault that he's struck with a sudden and resonating sort of courage.
Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 749 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/26/2008 - Light Y., L - Complete
His Proper Position by SmallSerpent reviews
Fortunato was an asset, but there was always value in keeping everybody in one's orbit in their proper position. Leon's proper position was just so; on his knees before Nicolae, his brown eyes wide and glowing with adoration, and his lips parted... SLASH
Left Behind - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 896 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Complete
Cause and Effect by SasukeBlade reviews
Or, ten reasons Bobby Pendragon destroyed Ibara's flume.
Pendragon - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,184 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Bobby P. - Complete
12 Moves Sideways by Silver Pard reviews
Harry thinks the new Defence professor needs watching. Harry Potter/Death Note crossover
Crossover - Harry Potter & Death Note - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,423 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 1,435 - Follows: 212 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Harry P., Light Y. - Complete
Patience by Missy Jade reviews
GinnyLuna ' One year, four seasons and Luna wears berries in her hair ' femslash
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,340 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/26/2008 - Ginny W., Luna L. - Complete
Sleep Mode by caffeine.bloodstream reviews
PCMac, from PC's viewpoint. It's strange, seeing Mac asleep. This one's fairly sweet. I'm not sure I'd go as far as fluffy, but it's getting there.
Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,799 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2007 - Complete
Physical Memory by caffeine.bloodstream reviews
PC x Mac. Techslash! Not sure how to summarize this one. PC keeps some interesting things in his Bookmarks.
Misc. Tv Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,548 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/18/2007 - Complete
When by TheRimmerConnection reviews
Just a fluffy drabble, an epilogue or a prologue to all my guidefics...and in case you weren't sure, no, nothing of Hitchhiker's belongs to me.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 102 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Published: 3/9/2007 - Complete
Jordanian Nights by L-Syllabub reviews
Ray/Abdullah - There are three reasons Ray hasn't been sleeping well lately...
Left Behind - Rated: M - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,468 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/17/2006 - Complete
Playing With Matches by Phoebonica reviews
He knows it's dangerous, they both do. It's just an illusion. It's wrong. But they can let themselves believe differently for a while. Viomony, and Violet's an adult just so you know.
Series Of Unfortunate Events - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,379 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2006 - Lemony S., Violet B. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Eagle of Truthiness by Christine Morgan reviews
Hogwarts meets the Colbert Report ... guess who the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is?
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,426 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 507 - Follows: 119 - Published: 3/22/2006 - Complete
The Battlecry by Kari Anna reviews
Chloe wants her husband back, whether that's God's plan or not....AU warning. NickBuck slash. Rated for some language and mentions of violence.
Left Behind - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,791 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 3/5/2006 - Published: 1/22/2006 - Complete
The Beginning by Kari Anna reviews
PRESLASH. When Buck goes back to Mount Prospect to own up to the fact that he's leaving, he sets in motion a chain of events that will lead to something far bigger than he knows.... Sequel to The Something... only semicanon
Left Behind - Rated: T - English - Drama/Spiritual - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,323 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/26/2005 - Published: 11/13/2005 - Complete
The Something by Kari Anna reviews
COMPLETE. PRESLASH. Title subject to change. Nicolae makes Buck feel something he doesn't recognize, and now everyone's favorite journalist is stuck with the man for three days. Rated for safety, and for preslash. SEQUEL PENDING
Left Behind - Rated: T - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,786 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/2/2005 - Published: 9/16/2005 - Complete
Three Little Words by L-Syllabub reviews
Nicolae/Leon - How can three little words be so loaded?
Left Behind - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,121 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/15/2004 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

One Flesh reviews
"And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her." (Genesis 29:20, KJV.)
God's Not Dead - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,548 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/21/2014 - Josh W., Kara - Complete
Let There Be reviews
Just an idea I had. I'm not enough of a nerd to claim it's an xover, and you'll see why. . .Rated T just to be safe.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 298 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/26/2009 - Light Y., L - Complete
Dandelions in the Rain reviews
A curious fireman, a supposedly crazy nature-lover, and a late-blooming dandelion. Basically a scene from F451, told from Clarisse's point of view. Criticize it to bits if you dare--this is my first fanfic, so I'm sure you'll find plenty to hate about it.
Fahrenheit 451 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,131 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Published: 4/13/2009 - Complete