iluvrpattz
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Joined 07-14-08, id: 1634903, Profile Updated: 06-17-11
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight, and Misc. Movies.

Name: iluvrpattz

Age: 16

Favorite Color: Green

Hobby: Reading or Swimming

Description/Other: I have brown hair with natural red highlights and brown eyes.

Edward Cullen is my OBSESSION 100 percent. I love to read...my favorite book series is the TWILIGHT Saga(I mean who doesn't love it?) ...but I will read almost anything. I have a huge crush on both Carlisle, Edward, and Jasper Cullen...I am a very proud stalker and love- struck fan-girl of Robert Pattinson. I may be a proud blah blah blah of Edward but I am not really one of those girls that will cry in his presence or ask him to 'bite me'... I really don't want to freak him out anymore then he already is when he goes to a convention or whatever. I love reading fan-fic stories so much that I am in the middle of writing one write now...it's called 'Moonlit Sky'. But the main two characters in that story are Renesmee and Jacob. So sorry if your not a Renesmee/Jacob fan...you'll just be missing out on a really good story in my opinion. I have also started working on a story called 'Crazy Possessive, Crazy Obsessive' and the two main characters are Bella and Edward. In my opinion that story is the best one I have written out both of them. I always say whats on my mind whether it's stupid or intelligent. I am wierd but WIERD is good because it means I'm unique and my friends think so too. I live in Florida. It does storm a lot here especially in the SUMMER. I have some really GOOD friends here at fanfiction. Including my beta Countrydoglover. I recommend you to read ALL of the stories that are in my FAVORITES. If you want to know any more about me then just talk to me HERE.

One Question for all you Edward Fans...

Say you a strong believer on 'no sex before marriage'
but Edward Cullen is offering you a one-night stand
would you give up your virginity for him even if it were for one night?

I got that from skyeypiey...on the reviews for You Make My Dreams Come True. Awesome freaking story By the way!!


If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I f you wish you could have a big brother like Emmett Cullen, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

If you read New Moon and Eclipse and wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you actually like to read, just for fun, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know you have an unhealthy obsession with one or all of the Cullens, but you don't really care because even though admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing, frankly, you don't wanna heal. Then post this on your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think TWILIGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.


If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this into your profile

If you have a true friend, copy this into your profile

If you read peoples profiles, looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy this into your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you are insane, enjoying every second, and proud of it, copy this and paste it into your profile.


FAN FICTION: MY ANTI-DRUG. because, who has time for drugs if you're reading and plotting and writing and checking reviews? If this is true for you, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have WAY too much time on your hands and your on fanfiction.net with that time, copy and paste this in your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that has stayed loyal to either rock or metal, put this in your profile.

Too many people are on crack. If you're not, add this to your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.


If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you pray every night for your Edward to turn up in your life...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have AACIB disorder (Addicted To All The Cullens Including Bella)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you believe in God and Jesus Christ, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in GOD, (which I totally do! :D), copy and paste this into your profile.

If you screamed over watching the Twilight trailers, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're absoPOSIlutely in love with Edward Cullen until no other guy can even come CLOSE to him, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your dad thinks you're mad for falling in love with a vampire, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you won't let ANYONE team Jacob touch your Twilight books, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've told your parents you only want a 911 Porsche Turbo in YELLOW, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've screamed at someone who told you Edward was fictional, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you constantly search the roads for a silver Volvo, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you scream "EDWARD!" when you see that Volvo, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you daydream about Edward appearing in your life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you try to see how much you look like Bella each day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

If you have ever had a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile. (Why would I?)

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want to fire and/or sue those bloody weather men for giving you false hope so often (for snow days or something)...Copy and paste this to your profile, so we know who to call when we lead an angry mob :)

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like chocolate chip cookies.


You Know You're Obsessed With Twilight When...

1) You have read Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times.

2) You own all above mentioned books.

3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and
you want to see it anyway.

4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyers web site.

5) You have reread a lot of these pages.

6) You read fanfiction about Twilight.

7) You write fanfiction about Twilight.

8) At one point or another, you have had a screenname/username that says
something about Twilight or its characters.

9) You constantly count the days until Breaking Dawn comes out.

10) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon, you acted as a
missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read
them.

11) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it,
because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever".

12) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight
is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them.

13) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story(and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off.

14) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk
about.

15) When you found out you would have to wait until August of 2007 for
Eclipse to come out, you almost cried.(AN: this one kinda depends on when
you read the first two books, I guess!)

16) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you
like best.

17) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something
about Twilight, when you had already finished the books.

18) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories,
you never get tired of it.

19) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing
you read.

20) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a
vampire.

21) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever.

22) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary.

23) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people
who don't understand it just haven't read the book.

24) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought
it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh.

26). You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information

27). You're driving your parents mad with your crazy countdowns

28). You're keeping track of all the "Eclipse Quotes of the Day" and trying to figure out what they all mean

29). Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website

30). Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series

31). Your screen saver reads "Breaking Dawn: August 2, 2008"

32). You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition

33). You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it

34). You can't believe that most people haven't read the books

35). You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them

36). You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines

37). You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die

38). You know you're addicted, but you don't care

39). You can't help saying, "I can't wait for August 7th!" while everyone who isn't "in the know" stares at you like you're psyco

40). You're more excited about the release of Eclipse than anything to do with Harry Potter

41). When you found out that Breaking Dawn wasn't coming out until 2008, you have a mental breakdown

42). When you found out about Midnight Sun you had yet another mental breakdown

43.) You ACTUALLY noticed there was no 25.


What Starts with "F" and ends with "K"

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your Problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister Is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and te lls her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong!!"

I got the last seven questions wrong!!"

¸.•´¸•´¨) ¸.•¨) ¸.•´¸.•´¨) ¸.•¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´~Pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.


"The Perfect Guy"

Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot,

who calls you back when you hang up on him,

who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.

Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy that kisses your forhead,

who keeps your picture in his wallet,

who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,

who holds your handin front of all his freinds,

who thinks your beautiful without makeup,

one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,


THE one who turns to his friends and says

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with “In Accordance to the Prophecy”.

7.Don’t use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is “To Go”

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I WON I WON!!”

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

15. Tell your children over diner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”

16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It’s called therapy.ADDY'S RULES FOR DATING

Your dad’s rules for your boyfriend (or for if you’re a guy)

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you don’t peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about the issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with you underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the courses of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier Method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and only word I need you to say on this subject is ‘early'.

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:The Following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough too induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, mid-driff t shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose-parka, zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided: movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk’s homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shot gun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of our car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a nice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as a wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face in the window is mine.


Pictures for the story Crazy Possessive, Crazy Obsessive:

Alice's Dress from Chapter 1: http://www.greatglam.com/pd-almost-light-pink.cfm

Alice's Shoes from Chapter 1: http://www.greatglam.com/pd-fairview.cfm

Bella's Dress from Chapter 1: http://www.greatglam.com/pd-i-confess-navy.cfm

Bella's Shoes from Chapter 1: http://www.greatglam.com/pd-san-juan.cfm

Rose's Dress from Chapter 1: http://www.greatglam.com/pd-keene.cfm

Rose's Shoes from Chapter 1: http://www.greatglam.com/pd-pima.cfm

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Mike Meet My Husband? by countrydoglover reviews
Bella Swan is attending a ball like party, when Mike Newton starts talking to her. Bella, in an act of desperation, grabs the closest guy pretending he is her husband. How will the green eyed man react? ALL HUMAN!More is sure to unfold...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 35,253 - Reviews: 1503 - Favs: 1,244 - Follows: 631 - Updated: 12/6/2010 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Complete
You Make My Dreams Come True by ashel-13 reviews
SEQUEL TO MLOONAA! Join Bella, Edward, and the gang as they reunite during college for breaks! Fun, Fluff, Lemons, and of course DTE! OOC, AU, and All Human. Please read Making Love Out Of Nothing At All first!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,387 - Reviews: 3846 - Favs: 2,237 - Follows: 2,212 - Updated: 8/2/2010 - Published: 5/22/2009
The Full Frontal Honeymoon by SunriseSurprise reviews
This is a multi-chaptered story about Bella and Edward's honeymoon on Isle Esme. It will tell the tale of how they REALLY spent their first few weeks as a married couple. There will be lots of explicit lemony goodness!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,361 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 4/9/2010 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Edward, Bella
A Tale of Two Edwards: Moving Forwards & Backwards by xshear reviews
Sequel to, 'A Tale of Two Edwards'.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,045 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 2/9/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward
My Little Loch Nessie Monster by It'll Be Anarchy reviews
Straight after Breaking Dawn. Nessie and Jacob have been the best of friends but what happens when she begins to grow up goes to high school and gets a boyfriend. Will Bella tell her about Jacob's imprint? Renesmee and Jacob - Please R&R NEW CHAPTER IS UP
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 96,708 - Reviews: 676 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 1/15/2010 - Published: 8/7/2008 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Edward and Bella: Love and Lust by avioleta reviews
A mature spin on Twilight. Edward must work to keep Bella safe in his world while they both deal with the everyday drama of high school life. This is the Twilight you wanted to read. E/B, HET, Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 127,238 - Reviews: 1748 - Favs: 1,828 - Follows: 819 - Updated: 1/3/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die by xshear reviews
An awesome collaboration from xshear and kARLOTITA09. Title says it all, can we pull it off with Edward & Bella?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 42,723 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Edward, Bella
Forever is where we meet by kArlITaLUna reviews
Forever is not a word... rather a place where two lovers go when true love takes them there."- Unknown. Full Summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 71,750 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 180 - Updated: 12/14/2009 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Thousand Miles by alwaysandforever.x reviews
Bella has always been in love with her best friend Edward but there's one problem- he's engaged. Somehow, they end up 1000 miles apart and with Alice's guidance, Bella plans to move on. But what happens when Edward realises he's loved Bella all along? AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 97,860 - Reviews: 958 - Favs: 652 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 10/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Overprotective fathers, being a teenager, & Nessie by pocketfullofsunshinexoxo reviews
Being a teenager can be hard, epically when you have overprotective uncles, on top of an overprotective father! Find out how Nessie deals with this while she is dating her oh so handsome werewolf bf Jacob Black This story was Nessie becomes a teenager!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 36,307 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 11/27/2009 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob
Face Down by SimplyDazzling reviews
Bella has a dark past and present; Charlie's an alcoholic who absuses her daily. The Cullen's are new in town, and it turns out that Edward has a story too. They find themselves in each other, but will their dark pasts come back to haunt them? OOC, BxE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 31 - Words: 228,565 - Reviews: 1440 - Favs: 1,283 - Follows: 553 - Updated: 11/26/2009 - Published: 4/10/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
101 Places to Have Sex Before You Die by kArlITaLUna reviews
WARINING: NC-17, MATURE CONTENT. Another awesome collaboration from XShear and kARLOTITA09. Title says it all, full summary inside.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 41,669 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 165 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 11/16/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Bella, Edward
Edward's Eclipse by vixen1836 reviews
For True Edward Fans. An in-depth, accurate portrayal of the heart, mind, and soul of the beloved Edward Cullen as he deals with the complex themes and events taking place during Eclipse. RATED T FOR INTIMACY THEMES/LANGUAGE. CANON. EPOV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 67,782 - Reviews: 435 - Favs: 952 - Follows: 490 - Updated: 11/16/2009 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Edward, Bella
Arrogance by ashel-13 reviews
When E and B go with others to perform a senior prank at the school, they get caught, and must serve community service, together. The only problem is that Bella HATES Edward with a passion because she knows he’s the school’s biggest player! ON HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 125,945 - Reviews: 2724 - Favs: 1,560 - Follows: 1,668 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009
A Tale of Two Edwards by xshear reviews
A collaboration between xshear and kARLOTITA09. Based loosely on Bridget Jones's Diary. Sex and hilarity ensue. AU/AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 142,939 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 8/16/2009 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stranger of the West by countrydoglover reviews
Year 1865. Bella is working in the saloon when a stanger rides into town. but Bella has many choices to pick from. Who will she choose? All human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Western/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,815 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/2/2009 - Published: 10/10/2008
Wish Upon A Star by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
So I'm like a male Cinderella?" Edward asked sarcastically. The woman smiled wickedly. "Exactly. Only your wish doesn't end at midnight. It's permanent. So I suggest you think it through first." Edward didn't hesitate. "I want it." All Human E/B Hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,132 - Reviews: 785 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 544 - Updated: 6/14/2009 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Edward, Bella
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All by ashel-13 reviews
Edward thought of Bella as just a friend, but Bella always felt more.That was 3 years ago and now she's ready to make Edward Cullen fall in love with her and make this the best summer of her life. All Human OOC Lemons Gall-lore! WARNING: NC-17
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 77 - Words: 291,632 - Reviews: 11602 - Favs: 8,371 - Follows: 2,510 - Updated: 5/22/2009 - Published: 2/8/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Edward and Bella: A Naughty Love Story by Ill.be.your.ALWAYS reviews
I got tired of not being able to find the kind of story that I wanted so I wrote one myself, lol. It's dirty, explicit, and straight to the point. EddiexBella OOC Enjoy :
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,142 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
ReHitched by Nollie Marie reviews
/Sequel to Hitched/ Edward & Bella want to renew their vows the ‘right’ way. But w/ stress from work, being parents to new born twins, PLUS the wedding plans will they make it back to the alter? And who is this stranger who keeps visiting Bella? Plez R&R!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 58,232 - Reviews: 1843 - Favs: 1,699 - Follows: 937 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 3/16/2008 - Complete
Christmas Treats by Charming101 reviews
Written for the BritishBitches Smutvent Calendar. Bella and Edward spend some alone time together, and fun ensues. Lemon. One-shot
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,914 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Blue Moon by fanwriter95 reviews
This is the continuation I made to Breaking Dawn. There is a twist to the story, though. Read and find out! This is my 1st story, so please R&R! Rated T just to be sure.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,742 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/30/2008 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
May I by xshear reviews
A game children use to play that Professor Masen now wants to play with Bella. Call this "Teaching A Lesson" part deux.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,335 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 21 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
My Heart Left To San Francisco by countrydoglover reviews
After dating for two years, Bella leaves Edward for a job in San Francisco. Edward is devestated. When Bella calls three years later, how does he respond? will they get back together? Can he love her again. T for language. All human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,439 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Complete
More by kArlITaLUna reviews
Undead, but still living. That was exactly how I felt. But how else is one supposed to feel, when true love leaves you?"- A one-shot about relationships and the beginning of something new.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,500 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/16/2008 - Bella - Complete
Seducing Edward: A Bella Swan Challenge by xshear reviews
Bella's looking for a job, Alice is looking to teach Edward a lesson and all Edward wants is to get laid. A short, multi-chapter fic that's completely OOC on all characters. Oh, and it's full of smutty goodness. AU HUMAN people.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,639 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 11/9/2008 - Published: 9/28/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bad Girl Bella Meets The Elite Edward by countrydoglover reviews
Bella lives in South Forks with her sister, Alice.Emmett is the leader of a gang.Jasper and Edward go to the Elite school. Rosalie was kicked out of school. All Human.BxE, EmxR, AxJ.Rated M just in case
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 16 - Words: 26,792 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 11/9/2008 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Complete
Never Again by kArlITaLUna reviews
My entry for the "DIRTY TALKING EDWARD CONTEST." Edward learns that Bella doesn't want him to hold back. Details for the contest inside :D
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,922 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 11/1/2008 - Published: 10/24/2008 - Edward, Bella
The Doctor Is In by xshear reviews
Nurse Swan faints and Dr. Masen insists on examining her. AU-HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: M - Spanish - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,618 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 22 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Little Pink Envelope by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
One of those typical, Bella/Edward one-night stand and getting pregnant stories, but very original plot! Bella knows Edward's name but he doesn't know hers. What happens when they meet up again five years later? All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,854 - Reviews: 2162 - Favs: 2,106 - Follows: 649 - Updated: 9/6/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Teaching a Lesson by xshear reviews
Bella's late to class and Professor Masen doesn't like it.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 190 - Follows: 44 - Published: 8/31/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
10 Steps To Seducing Your Hot Virgin Vampire BF by halojones reviews
This story starts off after Edward rebuffs Bella's modest advances in their newly acquired bed in Edward's room. But things take a turn for the better for these two lovesick kids when Alice takes things into her own hands. Never bet against Alice!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 92,432 - Reviews: 5065 - Favs: 2,959 - Follows: 1,438 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Sugar and Spice, Everything but Nice by ANNEMARIECULLEN reviews
Badass Edward had the looks, the attitude, the bike, everything, except Bella Swan, the one girl who treated him as if he never existed. Can Edward dazzle her? And change? Summary sucks. ALL HUMAN! Read and review please.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 55,414 - Reviews: 759 - Favs: 1,046 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 8/26/2008 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
When We Were Young by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Edward and Bella have been friends since they were toddlers. When they grow older, will their friendship become something more? Stories from when they were little, through teen and adult years. Modern day. T for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 132,723 - Reviews: 5655 - Favs: 2,899 - Follows: 884 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fame by indigenousbleu reviews
THE Edward Cullen rolls into town on his American tour. Bella doesn't really listen to his music. Edward's interested in her but will her boyfriend Jake put a stop to that? GIVE IT A SHOT! R&R. All Human ExB Eventually
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,204 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 4/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
When Life Gives You Lemons by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Emmett makes a bet with Bella. She has to teach Edward a new position every day until their wedding, which is in two weeks. BXE Every chapter has a lemon. COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,649 - Reviews: 1824 - Favs: 1,869 - Follows: 733 - Updated: 7/17/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008
Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE IN THE FIRST CHAPTER! Bella Swan is a journalism major at Forks University. Edward Masen is a famous vampire model, Bella is sent to interview him. BXE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,968 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 470 - Follows: 244 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 4/16/2008
Look Alike by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
The Cullens watch Goblet of Fire and notice that a certain wizard looks like a certain vampire, fluffy and a little funny. BXE One-shot Very short.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,223 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 412 - Follows: 55 - Published: 5/6/2008 - Complete
Sweet Escape by Jayeliwood reviews
Edward decides to rescue Bella from Alice's Wedding planning. It goes all the way through to the parties before hand to their honeymoon. Lemony, just to let you know. Not a song-fic!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 30,772 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 402 - Follows: 208 - Updated: 4/21/2008 - Published: 4/9/2008 - Complete
Hitched by Nollie Marie reviews
What happens here, doesn't ALWAYS stay here. It took Bella one cheating ex-boyfriend and a few drinks to find herself married to Edward Cullen, who is handsome, weathly, and isn't about to let her go that quite easily. Please R&R. /Slightly OOC?/
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 65,289 - Reviews: 3519 - Favs: 4,420 - Follows: 1,175 - Updated: 3/16/2008 - Published: 11/16/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1714 - Favs: 3,091 - Follows: 617 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
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Life Can Be Tough
This true story is filled with heart touching and also heartbreaking moments in my childhood. So sit back and don't forget the tissues for the tears you will cry and for the tears that you will laugh.
Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 956 - Published: 6/10/2011
Crazy Possessive, Crazy Obsessive reviews
Rose and Alice take Bella to a club where there she meets Edward Cullen. They quickly fall for each other, but Tanya Edward's friend of 4 years will do anything to get Edward all to herself. Will Tanya go too far and ruin her friendship with Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,933 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 1/8/2011 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Edward, Bella
Moonlit Sky reviews
Jacob and Nessie are getting married. But, what happens when Jake passes out on their honeymoon? Will Jake be okay or will Nessie already be widowed? Read more to find out what will happen in this thriller that will make you beg for more.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,147 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob