VampyWithTheGoldenEyes
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Joined 07-16-08, id: 1637307, Profile Updated: 12-20-08
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hi! Im Anastasia (VampyWithTheGoldenEyes).

I'm telling you my first name because even if I do, your not going to find me (haha for those of you who are trying!)

I'm a COMPLETE TWILIGHT-NERD, and damn proud of it!

I live in the United States lol.

TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT EAT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT SLEEP TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT SCHOOL TWILIGHT TWILIGHT TWILIGHT--inner workings of my mind lol

I AM TEAM EDWARD ALL THE WAY!! CUZ HE SPARKLES!! and jacob is just hairy...ALTHOUGH TAYLOR LAUTNER IS HOT IN THE MOVIE!

I got the rest of my profile off of other people's profiles, like the "if you believe this then copy into your profile", or stuff i thought sent a powerful message. Or stuff i just thought was hilarious. Lol.

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

A good or best friend!

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, freak?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you when you aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into the lake so you can collect insurance money.

A good friend will help you to find your way when your lost. A best friend will be the one messing with your compass, stealing your map and giving you bad directions.

A good friend will go to a concert with you. A best friend will kidnap the band with you.

A good friend asks you for your number. A best friend asks you for her number.

A good friend hides you from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they’re after you in the first place!

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. A best friend helps themselves and are the reason you have no food..

Good friends are there through school. Best friends are there for life.

STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTPYES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND ADD ANY MORE STEREOTYPES YOU'VE HEARD.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I'm A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I'm a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I'm a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I'm INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I'm a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a concieted snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST eat spaghetti and meatballs everyday
I'm an OUTCAST, so I MUST be a jealous loser
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be obsessed with boys and gossip
I'm a RED HEAD, so I must have a fiery temper!
I'm SHY, so I MUST NOT have any friends
I have a lot of GUY friends so I MUST be dating them all

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

This poem is really sad so be prepared...

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

You know you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice there was no number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did!

I am the boy who never finished high school, because I got called a fag everyday
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
I wish they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones.
I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school.
It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised.
The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the woman who died when the EMT s stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person ashamed to tell my own friends I'm a lesbian, because they constantly make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men wanted to "teach me a lesson"

When someone realises they are gay, do they change as a person? Copy this into your profile if you know they are still the same person, and always will be...

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Things the Twilight Characters Would Never Say! reviews
Okay, okay, I know there are TONS of these across fanfiction, but me and my friends were brainstorming and these are the best of the bunch! R&R please! some BD spoilers later on.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 495 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/13/2008
Busted reviews
I changed it up a bit! Someone catches our favorite Twilight pair during a vey passionate kiss, and that someone is not too happy about it! R&R please! might be a one-shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 532 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/9/2008 - Edward, Bella