Author has written 10 stories for Twilight, and Maximum Ride.
Look at this, its so random, but cool!
i ripped pages 73-183 out of New moon, Jacob can go die! (no offence 2 team Jacob)
Did u know that the initials E.C stand for Edwrad Cullen, Emmett CUllen and Embry Call
Rules of Life:
-All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
-Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
-Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
-Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?
-There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.
-Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
-I'm going to live forever, or die trying.
-If I had something good to say, I would have already said it.
-Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time.
-Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that.
-Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
-If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space.
-Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
-I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
-Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
-Education is important; school however, is another matter.
-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
-You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!
-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.
-They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
-I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Forget scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you Butthead!
-That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before.
-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.
-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.
-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.
-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?
-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?
-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.
-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.
-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.
-It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.
-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
-I do not deny everything.
-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk.
-The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
-Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out.
-Love me or hate me, personally I could care less
-Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me
-You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?
-When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back.
-Girls are like phones, we love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
-I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : )
-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us
-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.
-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over
-Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.
The favorite quotes and sayings….
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.!
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.
They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I ran with scissors, and lived!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'l die and it will all be YOUR FAULT.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days."
EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami
Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
And Carlisle said "Let there be Edward,"...and it was gooooood
OMC- Oh My Carlisle
A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.
If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. (So true. Plus freakishly calm people scare me)
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have...
There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.
Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips. (shifty eyes... lol)
Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
Somebody needs a Happy Meal!!
One day, will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
I’m not afraid of Death, what’s it gonna do kill me?
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
If you think things can’t get worse it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We messed up!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!
FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!
"I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
You know its the 21st Century when:
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.
Why America has some issues... 1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,l arge fries, and a diet coke. 5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. 6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place. 8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures' 10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
Why America has some issues...
1. Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers,l arge fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America are there people who leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America are there people who use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America are there people who buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America are there people who use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'
10. Only in America are there people who have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two million people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blviee taht I cloud aulactly
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanig. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in wht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be tatol
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wohle.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipomorantt! Tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
Ways to make sure you're insane
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. see if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.
As often as possible, skip rather than walk .
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme .
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.
When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! they're loose!!" -i love this one!!
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
I love those copy paste things!
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, TempestStormBFFofMax, Aqua279, school.and.boredom.sucks,
92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile.
If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.
If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile. (Ugh, I was on the choir last year)
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists, copy this to your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.
if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder) at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your hands usually sweat, and you know you're sick when they're dry, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
98 of teenagers have participated in underage drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.
If you make code names for your hated teachers with your classmates that is somehow related to how those teachers look like, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think that TWILIGHT is the best book known to man...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Jacob Black should die...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, bright black stars, StormDragon666, Sasuke's 2 Child Sayuri Uchiha, silver cherryblossom, BrightRubyEyes, Crazii Kimmy Girl,Angelz on edge, boredom.and.school.sucks
If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.
98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile
If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.
If you think that losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever stayed up all night just to watch the sunrise, copy and paste this onto your pro
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile
AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s Including Bella Disorder.
If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.
If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile
Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.
If you are on Team Edward, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you cried, screamed, or threw a fit when Edward left Bella in New Moon, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that the Twilight books are the best books known to woman and man, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you agree with Bella that life without Edward is useless, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe (or wish) that the Twilight characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.
You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
Read... Remember how you get correct when you study and follow instructions?
1. I need 2 tell u something, read number 5
Support the fine arts, shoot a rapper.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF... (Bold the ones that fit you)
School.and.bordome.sucks wrote this:
this is soo Alice and Jasper... but i find it adorable...
Alice was swinging happily, while Jasper was adoring her beautiful aura. Jasper pushed his hands in his pockets, and said, "Alice! Give it back!"
Alice stopped swinging, and looked at Jasper questioningly. "What?"
Jasper pretended to be aggravated. "You heard me, give it back! You stole it!" Alice looked taken aback.
"Jazzy, what are you talking about? I didn't steal anything," she said.
"But you did, you stole my heart," he said shyly, kicking the rocks near his feet. Alice giggled, and ran to him.
"But I don't wanna give it back," she giggled again, and kissed Jasper on his lips. She ran away, skipped, more likely, leaving Jasper standing there, shocked.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and tell David Blaine he's fired.
When life gives you lemons, squeeze in enemies eyes...
I wouldn't be bored if I was with you, but guess what... I'm bored...
Some people say 'Nothing lasts forever'.. those people are complete idiots... Something does, and thats BOREDOM
When people say that hypocrisy is bad. When they say never say never, point at them and say "You're the hipocryte, spelling you bad ass!"
Support the fine arts, shoot a rapper.
I don't like acting dumb i'm dumb naturaly.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
You're never alone...
93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.
Don't be one of those people.
Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.
A kindergarten teacher told her class to draw a picture, then went around and asked everyone, one by one, what they were drawing. Without looking up, one little girl said, “I'm drawing a picture of God.” “But no one knows what God looks like,” her teacher reminded her. “They will in a minute.”
._.s_s _ If you're a girl and you've ever
really funny joke:
Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comforable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."
time for some random shit:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Girl: You should slow down, this is to fast
Boy: This is how a motorcycle is supposed to feel but if you tell me you love me, i'll slow down
Girl: I love you!
Boy: Now you have to give me a hug.
Girl: (She squeezed around the boys boys waist from behind him)
Boy: Now you must take my helmet from my head and put it on you then i will slow down.
Girl: (puts helmet on her head)
Newspaper headline next morning: Fatal motorcycle accident after brakes went out, male died and female lived being the only one with a helmet. In truth the boy knew his breaks went out and told his girlfriend she loved him one last time and to feel her hug then he gave her his helmet so she could live.
Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine.
My Mother Taught Me…
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
TEAM ALICE and Edward.And Carlisle ... oh what the hell TEAM CULLEN
'AND SO THE LION FELL IN LOVE WITH THE LAMB'
If you've ever fallen asleep at around 2 am reading Twilight , New Moon, and/or Eclipse, copy and paste this onto your profile
TEAM CULLEN - NOT JACOB !! HE DOESN'T SPARKLE !!
IF YOU LOVE EDWARD CULLEN, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE AND SCREAM! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.
Emmet Cullen: Stronger Than You since 1916
Jasper Hale: Charming Ladies since 1843
Alice Cullen: Quirkier than You since 1901
Rosalie Hale: Better Than You since 1916
Edward Cullen: hotter than you since 1901
The cuteness of it all
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.