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Joined 07-19-08, id: 1640339, Profile Updated: 09-19-09
Author has written 5 stories for Karakuridôji Ultimo/機巧童子ULTIMO.

Hi, I'm AH4EVER (Arty + Holly for ever)

Nickname: Mao (cause i wear sunglasses and headphones all the time) and L the fourth (cuz i sit like him, even before seeing the show or manga, i look tired and im smart like him)

Hair: short, spiky, dark (almost black) brown

Eyes: natural color blue, but changes color to silver (angery) , yellow around pupil (if bit someone in defense), green (light).

Height: 5 foot 2.5 inches (yeah i'm short so what

Age: none of your business (move on)

Personality: (im an emo) naturally aggresive, strong willed, quiet, smart, and not very trusting of others, loner if u ask others they will tell u im demonic

Stuff to do: (Mostly in my room) read, draw, work, watch TV, play xbox 360 elite, and listen to music

Fav. games: The Halo games (including Custom Edition), Turock: Evolution, Call of duty 3, Dead Space, Spyro, Rockband, Resident Evil 5 and Guitar Hero 3

Fav. books: Artemis Fowl, Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Twilight series, and anything that is interesting

Fav. music: Emo, Hard rock, Jrock, Metal

Fav. Bands: AFI, Rob Zombie, Drowning Pool, System of a Down, Puddle of Mudd, Nightmare, Maximum the Hormone, Miser, Metallica, Escape the Fate, and Three Days Grace

Fav. site: Fanfiction, JibJab, Miniclip, quizilla, vgcats, and onemanga

Fav. shows: Inuyasha, FlCl, Deathnote, Code Geass, Bleach, anime (basically)

Ships i like:

Inuyasha and Kagome

Sesshomaru and Rin

Miroku and Sango

Artemis and Holly (they are opposite like fire and ice one cools the other while heating the other, They complete each other)

Trouble and Juliet (hey both kick butt and i say it could work)

Root and vinyaya

Ships i dont like:

Inuyasha and Sango

Kagome and Miroku

Koga and Kagome

Akitoki Hojo and Kagome

Hojo and Kagome

Holly and Trouble (they are too much alike)

Artemis and Minerva (as artemis says they are too much alike) (burn minerva)

Favorite sayings:

"Mellowed? I'll believe that when you last ten minuets in a room with Mulch without throwing a hoof"

-TTP Holly Short

"I am suggesting that you may not own a copy of the rule book, and if you do possess one, you certainly have never opened it"

-Foaly TTP

"Artemis and Holly stood ther in their underwear, gingerly locking finger. They had crossed space and time together, weathered rebellions, and tangled with demented despots. Coughed blood, lost digits, inhaled dwarf fumes, and swapped eyeballs , yet they found holding hands awkward"


"I now pronounce you...

Man and elf"

-No1 TTP

"You sleep, he mumbled, then shot the girl in the hip. Holly stared in disbelief at the hypodermic dart sticking out of her leg. Not again"

-Butler and Holly TTP

"'Zero, said Holly. Absolutely none. I would bet my pension on it'. At that moment something, or someone, tapped on the trunk door from the outside. Holly rolled her eyes. 'No not even you...' Artemis's smile was smug beyond belief. 'Just how large is your pension'. 'I do not believe it. I refuse to believe it. It is impossible'. More taps on the door now, followed by a delicate scraping and a muted swearword. 'What a guttural voice', said Artemis. 'Very like a dwarf's'. 'It could be Butler', argued Holly , irratated by Artemis's self-satisfied expression. Swearing in gnommish. 'Hardly.'"

-Artemis and Holly TTP

"And because she was happy and flushed with magic, Holly leaned down and kissed Artemis"


"He strode quickly to the bars, poked the pistol's muzzle through the mesh, and put a dart into the female's shoulder. She stumbled backward, her fantastic orchestral of animal sounds squawking to a halt"


"If eye-rolling were a sport, this creature would be a gold-medal winner, thought the docter. Well, perhaps silver medal. Gold would surely go to my ex-wife, who's no slacker in the eye-rolling department herself."

-Kronski thoughts, TTP

"How did you find me?, asked Artemis, though he could guess. 'Oh I saw a huge explosion and wondered who could that be'. 'Hmm', said Artemis . 'Abit of a giveaway.'"

-Artemis and Holly TTP

"I have two rules, rule one I'm never wrong, rule two if I am wrong revert to rule one"

-L Death note

I made up this so NO STEALING IT (do not read if you are really religious): The worst and or best part of belief or believe is the lie.

For emo or goths who agree copy and paste this to your profile:

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you... But the roses are wilted The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And my wrists are stained red. emo doesn't mean you cut. emo doesn't mean ur gay. emo doesn't mean ur lesbian. emo doesn't mean ur suicidal. emo is real. emo is people. emo is everything. emo is a label. emo is being free. free to be you. free to express. free to tell everyone to get lost AH4EVER,

EVERYONE READ EVERYTHING Plz read this How many of you are sick of being called a "freak" or "cutter" just because you are gothic or emo!? Well i am, and i know we don't deserve it! For one thing, we dont or drink blood or even cast spells with our evil cults! We are just people...some more heartbroken than others. Another thing, the whole "Oh she/he's gothic/emo so she spends her whole day slitting open her wrists" thing...stop. Not all goths/emos cut! And for those who do, have a damn good reason! Anddo uwanna to know a secret...WE CAN SMILE! We can laugh, think, love, everything! We are normal people, and we do not deserve the abuse that we get. We are called names and get bad reputations...makeing our pain even worse! We don't need your sympathy...but we do need your moral. Just stop with the goth/emo jokes and the whole deal with thinking that we can't have fun and spend our whole days crying and sliceing open our wrists! If you have been abused, our feel remourse for those who have...please repost and spread the word. We don't deserve this...please help it change. write your name and see how many people actually agree and if you have bad comments about this KEEP THEM TO YOURSELVES! Copy and repost and add your username to the list. Thank you. AH4EVER,

(>' - ' )># I was going to give you this waffle
#(>' # '(>' - '

Other funny stuff for bio readers:

Officer, I swear to Drunk I am not God!

Silence is golden but duck tape is silver

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the hell you did that!

When life gives me lemons, I trip over them.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

TGWF: Thank God We're Female

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it. –Edgar Allan Poe

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that it must be altered every six months- Oscar Wilde

Eagles soar, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines

The person who can smile when something goes wrong has probably thought of someone to blame it on.

“And the National Rifle Association says that, "Guns don't kill people, people do,” but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, "Bang!" That's not going to kill too many people, is it?” – Eddie Izzard, Dressed to Kill

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Wow, really? I wouldn’t’ve guessed!!)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious. . .)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits".

Here's a joke...

there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...

the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...

he gets big muscles and swims across...

but almost dies 5 times...

the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...

he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...

but he almost dies 3 times...

the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...

he turns into a woman...

walks 4 yards...

and crosses the bridge

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead so shut up.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait
To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful.
To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her.
To every guy that gives flowers and a card when she is sick.
To every guy who has given her flowers just because.
To every guy that said he would die for her.
To every guy that really would.
To every guy that took time to do what she wanted to do.
To every guy that she cried in front of.
To every guy that holds hands with her.
To every guy that kisses her with meaning.
To every guy that hugs her when she's sad.
To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all.
To every guy who would give their jacket up for her.
To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe.
To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours
just to see her for ten minutes.
To every guy that would give his seat up.
To every guy that just wants to cuddle.
To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her.
To every guy that tried to show how much he cared
through every word and every breath.
To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one.
To every guy that believed in her dreams.
To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them.
To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams.
To every guy that walked her to her car.
To every guy that gave his heart.
To every guy who prays that she is happy
even if you are not with her.

...This one bulletin is for you...

Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...
i guarantee 90 of the men on your page will not repost this cuz they care more about their image
If you are a nice guy repost this with "We're a Dying Breed "
If you are a girl that thinks every guy should treat a girl this way repost this with: "To Every Guy..."

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

- What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

- "Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'. -Homer Simpson

- Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

- A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

-I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

-Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking

TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk At Work:

10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."

8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You probably got here just in time!"

7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm."

6. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."

5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?"

4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

3. "The coffee machine is broken..."

2. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot..."

And the #1 excuse to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk.
1. " ... AMEN!"


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing


Things I really want to see:

1. A boy singing "Man I feel like a woman"

2. A boy singing "I feel pretty"

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel...just hope it's NOT a train!

If you don't like the way I drive, get off the sidewalk!

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defence.

If the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, then only left handed people are in their right mind. (... so THAT's why I'm crazy.. ohhh)

Only in America do we have drive up ATM's with braile on them.

If you're too open-minded your brains will fall out.

Anyone who says nothings imposible has never tried slamming a revolving door
You remind a teacher that she forgot to give homework.

If someone actually thinks that you are evil and/or plotting their death, copy and paste this into your profile.

Questions I'm sure you've never asked + things to ponder:

Who defines what 'normal is'?

Can you mindwipe a vampire??

Can a vampire go into a coma?

What happens if a werewolf is bitten by a vampire??

If a vampire gets shot, does the bullet reflect off of him/her?

Is there such a thing as a vampire dog? Or any other animal, for that matter?

If Percy (PJO) is Poseidon's kid, can he go on roller coasters?

What came first: the chicken or the egg? ( I say egg)

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? (hmm, I wonder. . . )

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skipdown the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity:

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

You know when you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or Myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends...

9.) ...and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Archer of Freedom, Savvyjewel , Stefanlover12, h/t4eva, AH4EVER

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever misspelled your own name, paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

you're weird and you're proud of it post this into your profile!!

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., AH4EVER, Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, Phantom-Figure, Weird Romantic Gal, Devilchild93, Edokage ,Laxwarrior4

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to the list AH4EVER,

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile. Thinking it sucks is an understatement for me.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

you could own a library with every book you have ever wanted to read and or liked/loved copy and past this on to your profile and add yourname to the list Italiangurlinmessedupworld, the epitome of randomness, Holly Marie Fowl,Stefanlover12, AH4EVER

Boys say that in everything they do, they can kick a girl's butt so bad that they cry. If you're a girl who kicks the boys' butts so bad they cry like girls, copy this into your profile and add your name. Moonstar of FireClan, Archer of Freedom, Savvyjewel , Stefanlover12, h/t4eva, AH4EVER

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever tried to go up a down escalator, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever thrown a banana at somebody, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy and paste this into your profile.

95 of the kids out there are concerned about being popular and fitting in. If you are part of the 5 who aren't, copy this, put it into you profile and add you name to the list. AnimeKityCafe, Hyperactivly Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revanant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, bubbleyum, Sakura90873, tomboy14, the Reading Maid, Kiya-san, Cha-chan-hyper, h/t4eva, Stefanlover12, AH4EVER

IF you get called a nickname copy this into your profile and add your nickname (for example mine is Holly)

90 of teens today would die if Myspace had a system failure and was completely destroyed...If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is under-rated. Copy and paste this in your profile, if you agree and add your name to the list: Celiana, SuperSidney, Wisegirl101, Seweedbrainrocks314, Shorty and KG Inc., BookWormBandGeek, Holly M, AH4EVER

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

:Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(don't cheat--)


1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you


Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are


3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to


S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your


5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time

but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!

If you want Bella to turn into a vampire, copy this into your profile. (This one better spread like wildfire.)

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile

This is the only thing in the section that is supposed to be sad.

(Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.

You call me a b? Because a b is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark grows on trees. Trees are a part of nature. Nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful, thanks for noticing.

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid ass

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

If you agree, copy and paste into your profile

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole!

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That's a really good question...i wonder...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

My mind works like lightning...one flash and then it's gone.

Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins. That way you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line. XD

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD or MOM and Grampa, Gramps.

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN" we f up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about with you in private when you're not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIEND: Loses your shit and tells you,"My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only knows a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: While kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "B drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste that s!"

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this s!!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other, copy and paste this in your profile. (mine is inuyasha or holly short)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've been called odd at least once a week for the past school year and you are proud of it copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know somebody who you are willing to swear is a child in a grown-up's body copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are constantly frustrated about kids who refuse to learn and cause trouble for teachers copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hate hypocrites and are one yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have friends of the opposite gender as well as your own copy and paste this in your profile

If you are a full blown emo copy and paste this in your profile.

If you are a hard core metal or rock listener and are proud of it copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever had a crush on a fictional character, copy and paste this on your profile and add your penname and the name(s) of the characters you have crushed on: HollyluvsArty (James Potter, Sirius Black (when he was young), Artemis Fowl) comix-freak (Artemis Fowl (and Arty is my one and only!))scarilyobsessed(Fang, from maximum ride) Natalie-07 (Jack Sparrow, I know I know he's older then my dad but it's not like we're actually dating!) Silverstar's Shadow (Kratos Aurion (like practically every other girl who plays ToS religiously), Yuan (damn the people who decided to never tell you his last name!), Sirius Black (not Gary the Old Man... I imagined him to look a little more like Adam from Three Days Grace... hehe... Ahem.), Draco Malfoy), AsterEris:Firefall'sLegacy(Jasper Cullen...sigh...and PRINCE CASPIAN.), AviorHyrax (Fell from fell...I love him, I know, hes a wolf...can't I have my dream? Murtaghlaughing really hard right now Aster..., Mr. Darcyawwwww, i love him, again, still laughing,artemis fowl, Victor, from Cathy's book/key(I have a lot more but still)), some crazy girl who likes pie (Um... My friend's in love with Firestar, does that count? lol, no, jk. (Even though she is) Anyway, SETH TIS BE MIIIIIIINE!! Actually, I'm sharing him with a friend, BUT I'M NOT SHARING HIM WITH YOU!, AH4EVER (Artemis fowl and Edward Cullen)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. (When I read a book, I see it in my head like I'm watching a movie.)If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile. (Warriors. Trust me. I have friends who are scared to read it because they're afraid they'll become like me. I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!)

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI copy and paste this on your profile if you can read this.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, magicmehome, Bixxa, trueVaMpIrE, AsterEris, some crazy girl who likes pie, AH4EVER,

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag ,AH4EVER, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Holly Marie Fowl,

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

The road to success is always under construction

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its shoes on.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

The Catholic Church is still very angry about "The Da Vinci Code” - they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.

Im not retreating im advancing in the other direction

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

In a mad world, only the mad are sane.

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear bating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever changed your password on something and forgotten it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten a lock (like one on a locker) and put it on something, then forgot the combination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have sibling(s) that drive you crazy then copy this onto your profile.

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you have ever walked into a room then forgot what you were doing, then started walking away and remembered copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, AH4EVER, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World, GatorPups95, 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe',MyHeroRaven Devilchild93, Edokage,BuneeRaven, Laxwarrior4


--Goths MUST worship Satan because they wear black-- WTF?!

--people who like anime MUST be nerds-- If this is true, 3/4 of the teenage population here are nerds. Does that make any sense to you?

--All blonds MUST be stupid-- Many people i know are blond and are really smart

--people who like vampires MUST be insane-- Is it a crime to like certain things? I Am I insane? (Well, actually, I'm not so sure, but that's besides the point)

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"

Now you have two choices

1) repost and show you care

2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart

(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)

Found this on Sonsasu The Winter Dragon's profile

Subject: Scrabble

This has got to be one of the most clever E-mails I've received in awhile. Someone out there either has too much
spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)!

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:


When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:

When you rearrange the letters:


When you rearrange the letters:

Yep! Someone with waaaaaaaaaaay
too much time on their hands! (Probably a son-in-law)

Sipping Vodka

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous On the
pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get
nervous, I take a sip.'
So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on
the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipate d.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and
the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sht out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he
was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'take this and eat
it for it is my body.' He did not say ' Eat me'
12)The Virgin Mary is not called ' Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the
grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a
peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
The Origination of this letter is unknown.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button

Hell is were all the fun people are

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle
Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now slow down!
Guy: Now give me a big hug.
She gives him a big hug
Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.
In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live.
If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come. (Darkness is better anyways).

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

WIWAVS is Wishing I Was A Vampire Syndrome. If you agree, put this on your profile.

When you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?

Why is it called common sense if it's so rare?

"Best friends through thick and thin!
If you cry, I cry,
If you laugh, I laugh,
If you fight, I got your back,
If you trip, I'll catch you when you fall,
If you jump off a bridge... Oh heck ,wait for me!"


Its in every heart...

It keeps love and death apart...

The light pushes hard...

But so does the dark...

(but in my case some...no most would say dark wins)

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE. (I wish...)
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-Sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

Huh. That's a lot. I guess I just break all the rules, huh?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Artemis Fowl : Fall Of Haven by Yeboo reviews
8 Years has passed since the Time Paradox. It's been a peaceful and happy life for our Artemis and the Fairy People so far. But when old enemies return vowing vengeance, will our heroes meet thier match?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,643 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/19/2013 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Awakening by The Stories of L.B reviews
Saya awakens to find Solomon is the one to greet her. Read to find out just what happens... FINAL CHAPTER UPDATED!
Blood+ - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 57,886 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/8/2011 - Published: 9/5/2009 - Saya, Hagi - Complete
Artemis Fowl: The Book of Ages by GMontag reviews
Artemis and Holly have accidentally created a time paradox, changing the events of the last eight years. Now the two are thrown into a bleak world where Haven has fallen, and inter-species war has begun. Who can they trust? What can they save? A/H
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 45 - Words: 171,623 - Reviews: 1253 - Favs: 758 - Follows: 416 - Updated: 12/31/2010 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Wisher by Jitterzkitty reviews
Holly and Foaly suffer from sleepless nights. Their dreams filled with the voice of a tiny creature in need of help. The last genie, Wisher, needs them. But what looks to be a simple rescue mission turns out to be so much more.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,065 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/2/2010 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Julius R., Holly S.
Attacked! by RoseRedMisery reviews
Artemis!Werewolf fic. Arty/Holly. "Foaly was at a loss for words. Artemis Fowl had just thrown a boy his own size across a room. Since when could he do that!" Lots of OC's to keep things fresh, slight Arty/OC slash but you'll get over it. Post-TTP DONE
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,984 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/18/2010 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Holly's Diary by Danceronpointe reviews
After the Time Paradox, Holly Short visits Artemis fowl, what happens when minerva and opal come back? who does holly really love? hsxaf summary is bad story is good
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 52 - Words: 10,407 - Reviews: 383 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Holly S., Artemis F.
Gone by moonlightariaXIII reviews
COMPLETE! Saya copes with Hagi's 'death'... Set between the events at the Met and the return to Okinawa. Breakdowns abound. *edited* Epilogue up. Part 1: What has Hagi been up to? Part 2: Nathan's story/Hagi's return to Okinawa.
Blood+ - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,944 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 9/28/2009 - Saya, Hagi - Complete
Elemental by Liris reviews
Set after TTP. Artemis, Butler, Holly and Trouble are called together, but by who, or what? Will contain violence eventually, plot still under construction. H/A.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 27,473 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 10/12/2009 - Published: 5/27/2009
In The Closet by Lli reviews
Just think of all the things one can keep in closets: brooms, boots, skeletons, sexualities, dirty clothes, the possibilities are endless, really... This is me jumping on the drabble-wagon.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 100 - Words: 33,357 - Reviews: 714 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 10/10/2009 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Complete
Artemis Fowl: Alpha by The Director of words reviews
With his new magic Artemis must go beyond this world to stop the destruction and mayhem of beings from another world. Set after Lost Colony. A lot of A/H in later chapters. COMPLETE although i might still edit it.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,822 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 11/1/2007 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Within Temptation by WingedSilhouette reviews
The one person she thought she knew best turns out to be the one person she can’t trust. Everything she knew about him changed in the instant he said her name. Now he's going to keep her, hurt her, & if he gets the chance he might even kill her A/H Dark
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,043 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Artemis Fowl, meet Claire Davenport by Bookworm579 reviews
She found vampires, so why not fairies? Looks like Miss Davenport bit off a little more than she could chew when she crossed Artemis Fowl though.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 25 - Words: 53,425 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/4/2009 - Published: 8/18/2008
Limits of the Crust by diesector21 reviews
A world underneath the mantle collides with a world unknown on the surface, turning fairy civilization upside-down. Chaos ensues. Artemis Fowl x Lilo & Stitch crossover, final chapter up!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 13 - Words: 30,751 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/12/2009 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Holly S., Foaly - Complete
Artemis Fowl: Operation Opal by standingcorrected reviews
The objective was to capture Koboi. But as with every typical Fowlesque adventure, things go awry. Plus it doesn't help that Artemis' hormones haven't exactly gone away yet. PostTTP, pairing: well, find out yourself -- HEREBY DISCONTINUED --
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,077 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 4/4/2009 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Opal K., Artemis F.
Artemis Fowl: The Goldlake Society by LeanaLynx reviews
Set before TOD. Holly finds out that there is a secret group of humans who know about fairies. She also temporarily loses her magic, so Trouble has to help her beat up some goblins. Sounds like fun! TxH
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,087 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/29/2009 - Published: 7/1/2007 - Holly S., Trouble K.
Why, Why Love by amantebandido reviews
In order to fulfill her grandma's wish of seeing a real faerie, Sam Doroster decided get close to Artemis Fowl by transferring to his school, halfway across the globe. Unfortunately for her, it is an all boys school. Can she hide the fact she is a girl?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 79,606 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/27/2009 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Complete
Just A Dream by Power of the Pen12 reviews
On the eve of a big mission, Holly hears Artemis talking in his sleep. These unconscious words reveal more than Holly should know. A/H I'm sorry about the formatting problem. Bear with me.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,702 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
love bites by classic charm reviews
who says love and knowledge dont mix? not when the LEP's newest captive requests audience with infamous Artrmis Fowl. all she wants is a conversation with him or so it seems. she wants everything from him and vise versa but lyrissa's all about the blood.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,680 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 9/29/2008
B l o o d y C o n s p i r a c y: Truth or Lies by amaya-black-wings reviews
For centuries vampires have hidden themselves as people. They have awoken. The humans sign a contract with them, that they leave the world unchanged for fifteen years. But on the signing day, a girl is murdered, and Artemis as a vampire, is blamed. VampAU
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 20 - Words: 36,287 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 2/11/2009 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Artemis F.
Artemis Fowl: The Lost Secrets by bob115 reviews
What happens when Artemis and Holly fall in love? Espeacialy when Holly is gonna outlive Artemis by centuries. When Artemis stumbles upon a old black copy of The Book he learns of what happens when a fairy and a human unite. Major AH
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,278 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 2/3/2009 - Published: 6/3/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Betrayal by XJayjayxShadowfireX reviews
Three-quel to Deceit! Holly goes MIA while she is topside. Who is responsible? Mudman or fairy? Trouble, Artemis, and my OC, Sam are going to find out.Oh, and Fang. We can't forget about Fang!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 16,282 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/14/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008 - Trouble K., Artemis F. - Complete
Redemption by XJayjayxShadowfireX reviews
SEQUEL TO DECEIT Foaly finds the cure to Sam's vampirism on Opal's computer, but it requires reagents that are very hard to get. Sam, Artemis, and Holly go on a journey to find them and cleanse Sam. Artemis/OC. I hope the story is better than the summary.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 15,936 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Artemis Fowl and the Four Elements by ShanR reviews
What happens when Artemis Fowl messes with the Four Elements? Can he make it alive, or be roasted meat? Find out here! -taken a little from Avatar. Very, very little- FINISHED!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 24 - Words: 10,846 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 7/16/2008
The Return to Haven by Captain Evermind reviews
After Holly's return from Hybras, she finds it a little difficult to adjust to having missed three years worth of her life, and to the thought that maybe her friends have moved on without her... Mostly an excuse for H/T goodness.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,017 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 11/25/2008 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Holly S., Trouble K.
Artemis Fowl and the New Beginning by AllSortsOfSpecial reviews
This page is only the prologue, heres the summary of the story; Another year goes by an the Fowl residents have stayed clean for a whole two years, that is, until Artemis sees that the Fowl fortune is dwindling. That's when he decides, he's gonna end his
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,072 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Artemis F.
Double the Fun by The Creatress reviews
Post TTP. Artemis and Holly try to mend their damaged relationship and restore their trust for one another while facing a dangerous new alliance: Minerva and Opal Koboi are working together. Rating may go up for adult themes and violence in later chapters
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,433 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 10/31/2008 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Post Paradoxes by TheDoc811 reviews
After The Time Paradox. Holly/Arty. Don't own AF.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,530 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 10/11/2008 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
The End of the World by Moonlite Knight reviews
Some days were perfect. Others were the complete opposite. Holly was having one of those days and having to go to Artemis Fowl for help was not helping it one bit. COMPLETE
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 726 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Holly S., Artemis F. - Complete
Dying Makes You Think by The-Big-Wamp-Rat reviews
Artemis always seems to have a stroke of luck when it is life-threateningly necessary, but what happens when that luck runs out? And is Holly willing to risk everything to save him? TP spoilers; AU; A/H
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,766 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 10/3/2008 - Published: 8/28/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Back In Action by Holly25Trouble reviews
Sequil to Homecoming. A missing elf. Hidden powers. A possible romance brewing in the mix. When Holly returns to the LEP from the Academy, things change for the worse. But can they change for the better?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,995 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Holly S., Trouble K.
Artemis Fowl: A Christmas Incident by Annie-morphs reviews
Holly, Root, Mulch, Foaly, and Trouble spend their Christmas week with Artemis Fowl and the Butler siblings. Who knows what will come from intertwining the People with Mud Men during the holiday? HS&AF develops during the chapters
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 55,305 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 9/12/2008 - Published: 4/22/2006 - Artemis F., Holly S. - Complete
Romance in the Lower Elements by Bojangles78 reviews
A Holly & Trouble story of their 'getting together' and further complications.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,798 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/5/2008 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Trouble K., Holly S. - Complete
Holly,Root,and ChocolateSugar rush! by Savvyjewel reviews
This is random, but funny! One-shot.PLEASE REVIEW!
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,026 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/31/2008 - Holly S., Julius R. - Complete
Truth by DEAFHPN reviews
Artemis Tells the truth after, TTP, SPOILERS Alert, some plot mentioning. What happens when Mrs. Fowl invite Artemis friends over for tea. What happens when Artemis disappears before the party. (Discontinued for now I have returned so I may pick this up)
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Family/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,073 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/29/2008 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Angeline F., Artemis F.
Snap in your Tea! Pt A by 4gVn SoUl reviews
Holly spikes Artemis Tea. Chaos ensues. Joint story with Artemis Fowl II. Rated for language and some mild inuendo.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,745 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Holly S., Artemis F.
Snap in your Tea! by Artemis Fowl II reviews
Holly spikes artemis drink, Chaos Ensues, joint venture with 4gVn SoUl, Part B Rated for language and some mild innuendo.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
A Strange Land of Which I Knew Nothing by Holly's husband reviews
2 years since Hybras, what will Happen when Holly comes to stay at Fowl Manor? With New Friends & Old Enemies, will Arty & Holly finally realise their feelings for one another? For elf is elf and man is man, and never the twain shall meet.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,653 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 8/21/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
TTP With A Twist by JimmyPageRocks reviews
I took TTP and added my own character so if you havent read it, DO NOT READ THIS STORY because its full of spoilers.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,356 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/20/2008 - Published: 8/17/2008
Artemis Fowl: The New Manhattan by hopelily reviews
Artemis Fowl and Holly Short have always managed to set aside differences in favor of a common goal. But when wounds run too deep and the enemy is all too personal, walls will crumble and the world will never be the same. Sequel to Collsion of the Worlds
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Tragedy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,841 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Thanks by Tomo Potter reviews
Artemis realises how much he has to thank Holly for. AFHS, Time Paradox spoilers. Oneshot...?
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,469 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 18 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
Unluck of the Irish by clandestinedownpour reviews
Mostly a collection of humerous drabbles.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/16/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Artemis F., Holly S.
The Aphrodite Scandal by XxEviexX reviews
Because she is bored, Aphrodite sends Cupid to shoot his arrows. However, it seems like she's seen everything before. So when she finds a totally unique relationship, she decides to play with it. Chaos and drama ensured. Better summary inside. AH AM
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,298 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 12/4/2007 - Artemis F., Holly S.
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Why did you save me reviews
another oneshot
Karakuridôji Ultimo/機巧童子ULTIMO - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 961 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Complete
But your so much better than me reviews
another oneshot T for language
Karakuridôji Ultimo/機巧童子ULTIMO - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 772 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Complete
My Shy Princess
another oneshot
Karakuridôji Ultimo/機巧童子ULTIMO - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 720 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/21/2009 - Complete
You can't escape this fate reviews
another oneshot
Karakuridôji Ultimo/機巧童子ULTIMO - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 845 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Jealousy/Jealous - Complete
Can we be more than friends? reviews
Just a oneshot please read you might like it
Karakuridôji Ultimo/機巧童子ULTIMO - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 870 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/19/2009 - Ultimo - Complete