jackattack555
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Poll: Should Sonic survive Sonic's Last Bet? Vote Now!
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Joined 07-21-08, id: 1642401, Profile Updated: 09-03-10
Author has written 5 stories for Kingdom Hearts, Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario, and Legend of Zelda.

Status: Left the site. What you see here are relics of my time on here.

Once college comes, I will not be on this site anymore. I'll be too busy studying, partying, and getting laid to write for this site anymore. However, I do plan to at least finish Sonic's Last Bet and maybe the Mario fic during this summer. I know that fans of my fics will be upset to hear this, but don't be too sad. After all, the important thing is that we had fun. We laughed. We created comedy. The most important thing is not the fics themselves, but the memories of the fics. To know that you enjoyed something. Even if my comedy had only made one person laugh, I still would've left the site a happy man. As it turns out, I've made hundreds laugh. I'm glad for this, and please do know that I will always remember the experience of writing Sonic: Truth or Dare.

Aging and death are inevitabilities in life. Therefore, why not make the most fun we can out of our youth?

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Weight: 135 lbs

Height: 6 ft

Eyes: A very light blue

Hair: Short and Dark Brown

Name: Jack (I like how creative my pen name is!)(No, not PORN name, PEN name! Just had to clarify that. Ensue the awkward silence.)

Likes: Zelda, Kingdom Hearts, Eragon, LOTR, Lost, Harry Potter, Star Wars, Death Note, The Office. Also, people for some reason seem to think that I have something to do with the Sonic the Hedgehog games. I don't know why this is, but it apparently is something about the most popular Sonic fic and a parody.

Hobbies: Swimming, chess, movies, video games, eating, and PARTIES!

Favorite Music: Anything. I mean ANYTHING! If I listen to the most horrible song you've ever heard long enough, I will get used to it and start to like it! Same with the best song you've ever heard.

Favorite Movies: Animal House, Borat, Airplane!, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I've been reviewing a lot, especially for the humor fics. There's no feeling like the happiness of laughing on the floor for me.

Right now, I'm doing no more fics. These are the fics I have done in the past:

Sonic: Truth or Dare: With over 1470 reviews and hits in the 60 thousands, this was the most popular Sonic fic ever...until it was deleted by the site. However, if you want to see a messed-up-font version of the original for yourself you can look at: http://fanficunderground.freeforums.org/sonic-truth-or-dare-t127.html I know the font is bad, but this'll have to do unless I can find a site that won't mess up the fic's font.

Parody: Another Sonic fic, which I finished. This one, however, is a parody of the first Sonic Adventure game! This is my most experimental one yet, so check it out! And if you like this one, I'd reccommend you to check out a Sonic Adventure Abridged series that's here: http://www.youtube.com/user/CrashnBash

Zelda: Truth or Dare: To prevent bans, I'll probably delete this myself soon. However, you can enjoy this fic while it's still up! This was basically going to initially be a April Fool's prank for Sonic: Truth or Dare, but...well, you know. Anyways, it's kind of my goodbye present to the Truth or Dare community.

Ignore the Kingdom Hearts fic. That was back before I became addicted to humor.

Hotel Mario Commentary: This is a jab at the infamous game Hotel Mario. I've decided to stop doing this one.

Sonic's Last Bet: This is Radman's great humor story, now finished by me!

What I would really recommend for those wanting to get a good laugh (or are looking for some inspiration in humor writing) is to check out my Favorite Stories! These are pure classics which are HILARIOUS! Especially for those who are fans of either Lord of the Rings, Kingdom Hearts, Sonic, or Zelda!

Also, being a comedy addict, I will give you my take on some of the most famous comedy series' of this decade that I've seen!

South Park: This show still interests me. In every episode, the show seeks out a new aspect of pop culture to target, and teases it well. I still get surprised by how many jokes the writers can squeeze out of one concept in an episode. One weakness of the show is the main characters, whom outside of Cartman aren't really unique. Stan and Kyle are basically like identical twins in my opinion, and there have been plenty of shows in the past with the "voice of reason" character that Stan and Kyle fulfill. Also, plenty of comedies in the past have had a character with whom you can't understand what they're saying. But Catman is still pretty unique. The show makes him the embodiment of hatred and greed, but still has Cartman be a protagonist in most of the episodes. The background characters can also be funny at times. The adults in particular are mocked well, as the show tends to make the adults act more overdramatic and immature than the kids. Some episodes have funnier stories than others, but the episodes where the show does succeed in making me laugh make the show worth watching.

The Simpsons: Ah yes, the longest running animated series of all time. I grew up with this show, and the family holds a special place in everyone's hearts. A lot of hardcore fans say it's not as funny as in the early 1990s, and that may be true, but I still enjoy watching the show today. Most of the time I'm too busy to watch it on Sundays, but whenever I do watch the show, it still gives me a warm chuckle. I really like the characters this show has, since almost all have some form of complexity in one way or another. My three favorites would have to be Krusty the Clown, Duff Man, and Moe. In the form of Springfield, Matt Groening has created a place where everyone can identify with at least one character on the show.

Malcolm in the Middle: Another show that I grew up with. This is probably one of the greatest nightmare families of all time, yet their problems are still always solved by the end of the episode. Though I don't like Frankie Muniz's acting on anything else, he did a great job at making the audience feel Malcolm's plight on this show. He's a genius surrounded by idiots, and there were several times where I really identified with his struggles through his bad luck and his family. The makers of the show overall chose a really good cast of relatively unknown actors, and turned them into stars overnight. All of the actors were amazing at portraying their characters(with the exception of Dewey's actor. I think the only reason he was chosen was for his evil grin.), and I personally believe that it will be remembered as one of the best situation comedies of the decade.

King of the Hill: What happened, Mike Judge? Office Space was funny, along with Beavis and Butt-head, but on this show your humor seemed to have dried up. With characters like Boomhauer, Bill, Dale, and even Bobby to an extent, this show had a lot of potential. But it failed to meet up to that, mainly due to the dullness. With the exception of Dale, the characters were relatively boring. Their voices were mostly monotones, and the show could easily make one fall asleep at night. However, I loved Dale's craziness on this show. His character was the one really interesting thing about the whole show. But whenever Dale would be offscreen(which was unfortunately most of the time), the show would get boring to me again. I know that the boredom makes the show more realistic, but trying to make a show more realistic can easily conflict with trying to make a show more funny(as we've seen happen on the BBC Office).

That 70s Show: Perhaps the funniest show that I watched in my preteen years. It made stars out of several actors, and had some genius writers plotting out the show's jokes. The show was a perfect mix of old and new, making teen characters that us youth could identify with while using styles and ideas that were popular in the late 1970s to draw in an older crowd as well. The main characters were convincing in their roles(not so much for Topher Grace and Laura Prepon, but the other four in the gang were amazing at acting convincingly), and I will also give a good shout-out to the supporting cast. Especially towards Kurtwood Smith(the guy who played Red) and Tommy Chong(oh come on, like you don't know who Tommy Chong played on that show?). Whenever either one of them appeared, they always lit up the screen with humor. Though I guess I should also give an honorable mention to Debra Jo Rupp(Kitty), as portraying an alcoholic, smoking, crazy 70s-style mother is probably harder than it looks! This show created many funny one-liners that I cherish to this day, and it was interesting to watch the cast of up-and-coming actors play their roles well. (It even had some up-and-coming actors as guest stars...Seth Green and Christopher Masterson in particular!)

Everybody Hates Chris: I loved this show, especially because of the characters. It was similar to Malcolm in the Middle, but it was somewhat historical by being based off of Chris Rock's life as a preteen/teenager. The situations that the teenage Chris would get into were absurd and funny, and Adult Chris' narration was hilarious to me. I know that a lot of other people didn't like Chris Rock's narration on the show, and there were a couple of times where his narration could get annoying, but I personally felt that he made up for it with the other times where the narrator would say hilarious jokes while commenting on a situation. A lot of fans were disappointed when the show ended, but if it had continued it would've been practically forced to cancel after another couple of years once the kids grew up (ala Malcolm in the Middle). Besides, Chris Rock himself said that the ending came with around perfect timing toward the time that he dropped out of high school. You may or may not like Chris Rock's stand-up comedy, but no matter what you feel about his stand-up, the comedic writing on this show is good. I would definitely recommend watching this show if you can.

Drawn Together: I was watching this right when this show first came out, as this sounded like a show with a lot of potential. Not only did it parodize reality shows, but it parodized segments of pop culture with each character. The characters included mockeries of Disney princesses, superheroes, and even a character that represented the Internet. My personal favorite character on the show had to be Ling-Ling(a tease of Pikachu from Pokemon), who would try to kill the other characters in fights for little to no reason at all. Though it had a lot of potential, it fell short of expectations. They still had a lot of good jokes that could make me laugh, but it seems to me that the writers would keep running out of jokes before finishing an episode, and would fill up the empty holes in it with toilet humor. The show could get extremely gross at times, with stuff that seemed downright unnecessary. Some of it was funny initially to tease the characters' personalities, but the show did take the toilet humor over the top. So I'm completely divided on how I feel about this show. It was too gross for me to love it, but too funny for me to hate it.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

That same 98 would probably turn suicidal if Myspace was down for 48 hours. If you're part of the 2 that would laugh their asses off at their pain, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts off at the others.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever had an urge to throw yourself off of a banister on a stairway, copy this in to your profile

If you have ever crashed into a wall while you were sugarhigh, copy this onto your profile

If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you believe every child deserves a chance to grow up and go to school, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.

And for Kingdom Hearts fans...

If you were startled in the cutscene before his death, when Demyx suddenly went serious, copy this into your profile. (May Demyx rest in peace)

Now for the lists:

you know you live in 2009 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they
don't
have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just
pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Repost if you fell for it. You know you did.

Things to do while in Wal-mart

1. throw skittles at people and say, "Taste the freakin' rainbow!"

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that guy/girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

The Stupidest Things On Products

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."(Wow. That's really helpful)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

On a package of pasta after the cooking instructions:"Put on fork and eat."(No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

My history on Fanfiction.net is this...I started off reading fanfics on this site after hearing about it in the Spring of 2008! I was inspired by Rhino7's hilarious Kingdom Hearts: Q&A fic (which unfortunately has since been deleted), and so I soon became a member of Fanfiction.net for the sole purpose of reviewing fics. Well...then I decided to contribute to the site myself, so I wrote a Kingdom Hearts fic, though it was too serious and I eventually got bored with serious fics entirely! I decided to do a humor fic of my own (preferably based off of what Rhino7 had written), but I wanted to do a fic on something with characters that had a variety of personalities (Having seen shows such as The Office, I know that using many very different personalities helps in creating a better comedic effect!). Finally, in the last week of August in 2008, I thought of the perfect series with that variety of characters...Sonic! And the rest, as those who have read Sonic: Truth or Dare know, is history...

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Lord of the Rings: the Tower of Madness by ermalope reviews
A fellowship of NINE goes to Mordor to dispose of an evil ring. Except Aragorn is throwing things again.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Parody - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,921 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/21/2012 - Published: 3/27/2005 - Aragorn, Arwen U.
Zelda Mini Madness! by Quintaso reviews
It's not drop dead comedy, but hopefully it'll make you chuckle.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 99 - Words: 53,414 - Reviews: 408 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/28/2012 - Published: 5/19/2008 - Complete
Parody of the Games: Sonic Zeroes by LilyRosetheDreamer reviews
The epic, heart-pounding adventure of the heroes...as you've never seen them before!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 20,021 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/16/2011 - Published: 3/21/2009 - Complete
The Wind Waker My Style by shadows-of-ballance reviews
I played T.W.W. and i talked to myself at the same time and i kinda came up with this: Realativley funnier version of the story *please read and review*
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 43,363 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/16/2010 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Link, Tetra - Complete
Death Note: the Abridged Series by Jaded Ninja reviews
Inspired by Little Kuriboh and masakox and Vegeta3986, as well as by Plasma Knight's fanfic Hitchiker's guide to Spira, a humorous summary of one of my favorite animes.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 102,366 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 6/22/2010 - Published: 9/17/2007
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Parody by Midna3452 reviews
A parody of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Rated T for language and possible themes. Please R&R! DISCONTINUED.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 28,361 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 11/25/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008
Sonic the Parody 2 by Mystery002 reviews
Author insertion, High School fic, OOC, and even more terrible content than the original. Read at your own risk.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,193 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/15/2009 - Sonic, Shadow - Complete
What Really Happened in Eragon? by deepblue1028 reviews
The stoy of Eragon- but funnier! Insane elves, gangster shades, and tempermental dragons are only some of the things that live in Alegaesia. Put them all together, and you've got one wacky reproduction of the bestseller, Eragon!
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,248 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/22/2009 - Published: 2/14/2009
Sonic the Parody by Mystery002 reviews
Mary Sues, bad plots, OOC characters, ridiculous pairings, poor grammar, illogical events - it's all going down.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,558 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Complete
Sonic Truth or Dare: Uncensored by Aretsukusu reviews
CANCELLED DUE TO RULE-BREAKING.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 10/14/2008
Sonic Insanity by Mecha Scorpion reviews
Unusual circumstances force Sonic, Shadow, Tails and Knuckles into the same house, with hilarious results. Insanity ensues when Eggman enters the equation. Please review!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 96 - Words: 189,384 - Reviews: 1259 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 9/26/2005 - Sonic, Shadow
Jane O'Callaghan's Friendly Truth or Dare! by Jane Aileas reviews
Hooray for truth or dare fics! I'm bored, and so decided to make my own! ...The game show is over now, since I'm ending the fic, sorry!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 46,284 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/14/2008 - Published: 9/15/2008 - Complete
The Ocarina of Time: The Reality TV Show by Jane Aileas reviews
In this story, Link is unknowingly the main character in one of those reality tv shows! Pretty much everyone else in the world knows about it, except poor Link. This story covers the entire Ocarina of Time game, with a few twists on things, of course.
Legend of Zelda - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 106,908 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Link - Complete
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the Fangirl by Royazali reviews
Sequel to The Two Bishies. Link Legolas and Pikachu have succeeded in saving Rohan but can they save Gondor? And what of Cloud and Riku? Will they be able to destroy the Pen in time? Find out in the conclusion to the Lord of the Pen trilogy! FINNISHED!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,478 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 8/18/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Legolas - Complete
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Bishies by Royazali reviews
Sequel to The Fellowship of the Pen. Like before, same story, diff. characters. Join Link, Legolas, and Pickachu as they try to save Rohan from killer penguins and Fan-girls! Others include: Marth, Zelda, Cid, Organization 13 and much more! FINNISHED!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,757 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/18/2008 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Legolas - Complete
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Pen by Royazali reviews
Your basic lotr fic except one thing... I switched all the characters! Join Cloud Strife as he and co. try to destroy the one pen to rule them all! Other characters include-Link, Sesshomaru, Riku, Kratos, Dumbledore and much more! FINNISHED!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,746 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/23/2008 - Published: 6/19/2008 - Legolas - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sonic's Last Bet reviews
Radman's funniest fic, brought back from the dead by jackattack555! When Sonic bets that he can have fun with each one of his friends, what will happen? Insanity!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 37,478 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 9/3/2010 - Published: 9/19/2009
Zelda: Truth or Dare reviews
What does the title say? This was initially going to be an April Fool's prank on another fic, but now I have posted it here for your enjoyment. What happens when two crazy people decide to torture the Zelda characters? Hilarity, of course!
Legend of Zelda - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,053 - Reviews: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/31/2010
Hotel Mario Commentary reviews
A look at the cutscenes from the game Hotel Mario. Lots of mocking, parodizing, etc...
Mario - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,699 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/14/2009 - Published: 11/27/2009
Sonic Adventure: The Ultimate Parody! reviews
A look at the many stupid, funny things about the first Sonic Adventure game! Brought to you by the author of the famous Sonic: Truth or Dare...so expect lots of laughs in this!
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 25 - Words: 60,684 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 1/25/2009 - Complete
A New Organization reviews
Post-KHII. As Xemnas rebuilds a new and more powerful Organization XIII, Sora has to find new Keyblade masters who can fight these nobodies! Multiple X-overs. ON HIATUS!
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,166 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/6/2008 - Published: 8/15/2008
Staff of:
  1. The Sonic Killers XD
    Games Sonic the Hedgehog
  2. THE SONIC ToD COMMUNITY!
    Games Sonic the Hedgehog