Author has written 15 stories for Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's, Fable, Code Geass, Bleach, Arc The Lad, Naruto, World of Darkness, My Little Pony, Assassin's Creed, Soul Eater, Rosario + Vampire, and Team Fortress 2.
I am Lobo Argost, but you can call me Lobo, if you're one of the Dysfunctional Siblings, you are allowed to call me Maru. I am a proud writer of Romance/Adventure fiction, and I specialize in anime.
Interests: anime, Star Wars, Eragon, Dresden Files, Twilight, basically any book with vampires or dragons in it, video games, music
Time to get this out in the open. I do not like how Naruto ended. At all. Kishimoto had the perfect setup. The perfect chance to end the series the right way, with Sasuke dead and NaruSaku the official couple. And he botched it. Sasuke forgiven for his crimes on behalf of the entire world by Naruto and Kakashi. Sakura still deciding to whore herself out to him. Naruto letting himself be taken in by that spineless wretch Hinata. And those abominations that are the respective pairs' children. All of it happened because Sasuke was allowed to survive. After teasing NaruSaku for all of part 2, Kishimoto pretty much said "fuck you" to all his readers.
The Uchiha clan, which Naruto was so happy to preserve, even with their insanity inducing Sharingan, which Kishimoto expects us to have sympathy for them and not hold them accountable for their atrocities, must still be returned to nothing. To find monsters in the series, look no further than Sasuke and indeed his entire clan. Don't forgive them for their crimes instead of punishing them. He smiles at people in the form of a young bad boy, or pulls at heartstrings in the guise of a shell shocked survivor. So many faces that monster has, all of them lies! I despise him. Every fiber of my being screamed for his blood. And now it seems I must resort of fanfiction to destroy him and cast him down into the dust. It falls to me to slay that monster with the trappings of a man. Don't ever ask me to write a fic where Sasuke is portrayed positively. He's just a traitor. And traitors die ignominious deaths. I've always held turncoats in the highest contempt.
Alone by Edgar Allan Poe
From childhood's hour I have not been
The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting-
And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
LOVELESS: Final Fantasy VII Crisis Core
When the war of the beasts brings about the world’s end
Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess
There is no hate, only joy
Dreams of the morrow hath the shattered soul
My friend, do you fly away now?
My friend, your desire
My friend, the fates are cruel
My soul, corrupted by vengeance
Legend shall speak
Even if the morrow is barren of promises
The Desiderata, Max Ehrmann
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
You are a child of the universe,
Therefore be at peace with God,
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
"If fate is a millstone, then we are the grist. There is nothing we can do. So I wish for strength. If I cannot protect them from the wheel, then give me a strong blade, and enough strength... to shatter fate." Ichigo Kurosaki, Bleach
"Is this the pain you felt before? Cloud? Let me remind you, this time, you won't forget." Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"Tell me what you cherish most. Give me the pleasure of taking it away." Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"I pity you. You just don't get it at all. There's not a thing I don't cherish." Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"Stay where you belong, in my memories." Cloud Strife, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"I will... never be a memory." Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"Those eyes, I hate those damn eyes, and that's why you gotta die!" Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Bleach
"Everybody lies." Gregory House, House
"La shaiq' waqee mutlak bl kollin mumkin." Altair, Assassin's Creed
"The laws of alchemy don't justify murder!" Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
"Human kind cannot gain anything without giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the law of Equivalent Exchange." Alphonse Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist.
"There are some lines, you really shouldn't cross." Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
"Treating illnesses is why we become doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable." Gregory House, House
"Sometimes the best gift is the gift of never seeing you again." Gregory House, House
"Do you understand the words that are coming outta my mouth?" James Carter, Rush Hour
"Sorry Lee but you can't be black. There's a height requirement." James Carter, Rush Hour 3
"I'm about to beat the puberty outta ya'll!" James Carter, Rush Hour 3
"If you can't win the game. If you can't solve the puzzle. Then you're just a loser." Near, Death Note
"That settles it. The Death Note, it's for real!" Light Yagami, Death Note
"If I were Kira, you'd be dead Mr. Soichiro Yagami, chief of the NPA. Please do not give out you name so carelessly. Instead, let's value our lives." L, Death Note
"I WILL EAT YOUR UNHAPPINESS!!!" Caboose, Red vs Blue
"Your toast has been burned, and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts." Caboose, Red vs Blue
"Don't you think it's ironic that you're about to shoot us and you don't have enough ammo?" Grif, Red vs Blue
"So then was one guy, said some things to another guy, and the people liked it. And that's pretty much that." Church, Red vs Blue
"It says peace talks have broken down. Now we do it our way." Wash, Red vs Blue
"Yes. Grif is dead. It's a sad day. But he died as he lived. Lieing on his belly, trying to get someone else to do his work for him." Sarge, Red vs Blue
"Okay. So who's first?" Tex, Red vs Blue
"You shot Church, you team killing fucktard!" Tucker, Red vs Blue
"Alright that's it. I swear to God, Caboose, your ass is haunted. When we're done here, I'm going to haunt you." Church, Red vs Blue
"Relax, I'm not going to give it a cold. I'm just gonna go in there, step on its neck, and shoot it in the head. Because that's how I roll." Church, Red vs Blue
"Okay guys, I don't mean to be rude, but I've got a missing girlfriend, a guy who's pregnant, an idiot who thinks his pet just died, AND our worst enemy is hanging out unsupervised in our base right now. So I really, really, REALLY don't have time for this HORSESHIT RIGHT NOW!" Church, Red vs Blue
"Oh my God Caboose, shut up. Andy, blow up. Doc, you're fired, get outta here. I'm gonna go shoot Tucker." Church, Red vs Blue
"Holy crap, WHO IS RUNNING THIS ARMY?" Church, Red vs Blue
"Angel on my Shoulder, this is Director Church. I respectfully request your assistance. Our situation is rather dire." Director Church, Red vs Blue
"Uh, Simmons. We're the Reds. We don't walk anywhere. We travel as the Good Lord intended: in the largest possible vehicle with the maximum horsepower allowed by local law enforcement. And if there are no cars available, we find the biggest, nastiest, meanest land animal we possibly can; beat the crap out of it, and saddle that puppy up." Sarge, Red vs Blue
"First I whip it out! Then I thrust it! With great force...! Every angle...! It penetrates...! Until...! With great strength...! I... ram it in! In the end... we are all satisfied. And you are set free." Dante, Devil May Cry 4
"Though a fight every now and then does make life a little more interesting. Don't ya think?" Dante, Devil May Cry 4
" Not all of us got off scot free, Carolina. He was brilliant! -takes Delta's form as he says brilliant- And we trusted him! -switches to Theta as he says this- But he lied to us! -switches to Gamma as he says this- He twisted and tortured us! And used us! -switches to Omega as he says this- Manipulated us for his own purposes! -switches to Sigma while saying this- And for what?! For this?! This... shadow?! -switches back to himself- He needs to pay!" Epsilon, Red vs. Blue
"Of course you're alone. Everyone's alone. There's no such thing as friends. There's just you, and you, and you, forever. So what if your friends are gone? You can't change the past, you can only look to the future. Tomorrow is yours for the taking, but in order to take it, you must have power, and if you want this power, you have to be merciless. Use this card, and you can conquer anything that gets in your way." The Supreme King, Yugioh GX
"Ichigo, What's the difference between a king and his horse? And I'm not talking about obvious stuff, like one's an animal and one's a person. Or one has two legs and one has four. Form, ability, and power. That's what's puzzleing, if their form, ability, and power are exactly the same, why is it that one becomes the king and leads them into battle, while the other becomes the horse and carries the king? So what's the characteristic that distinguishes these two beings? There's only one answer, instinct. In order for idenical beings to grow stronger and gain power, they must develop a killer instinct, and that instinct is mostly forged in battle. They must develop an insatiable hunger to engage in battle, they must live to mercilessly crush, shred, and slice their enemys. This thirst for power is not an unnatural desire, in fact it forms the very essense of our being. deep within our body lies the honed instinct to dominate and slaughter our enemys. My friend you don't have that, you use your brain to try and win a fight, you attempt to defeat your enemys with reason and logic. You don't tap into those pure base instincts that exist within your core, waiting to be released, and the simple fact is that it doesn't work, you might as well try to cut them with a sheathed sword, that's why you're weaker than me, Ichigo. I'm not gonna have it, I don't know about Zangetsu, but I refuse to carry a king who's weaker than me. Someone who's hesitation and uncertainty will end up getting us both cut to pieces. If you aren't willing to assert your strength and retain the crown, then I'll destroy you. Which means that, I'll be king." Hollow Ichigo, Bleach
"I applied my heart to no wisdom. And to no madness and folly. I percieved that this also was a chasing of the wind. For in much wisdom, is much grief. And he who increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow." Al Mualim, Assassin's Creed
"You know not the things in which you meddle Assassin. I spare you only that you may return to your master and deliver a message. The Holy Land is lost to him and his. He should flee now, while he has the chance. Stay, and all of you will die." Robert De Sable, Assassin's Creed
"The Lifestream. That's what we call the river of life that circles our planet, giving life to the world and everything in it. The Shinra Electric Power Company discovered a way to use the Lifestream as an energy source. Because of Shinra's energy, we were able to live very comfortable lives. But wasn't that because we were taking away from the planet's life? A lot of people thought so. Shinra used their power to try and stop anybody who got in their way. Shinra had a special group of warriors called SOLDIER, and all of the SOLDIERS had Jenova cells put inside them. Jenova was a calamity that fell from the sky a long long time ago, and tried to destroy the planet. Anyway, there was one SOLDIER named Sephiroth, who was better than the rest. But when he found out about the terrible experiments that made him, he began to hate Shinra. And then, over time, he began to hate everything. Shinra, and the people against them. Sephiroth hated the planet so much, he wanted to make it go away. And the people who tried to stop him. There were a lot of battles. For every battle, there was more sadness. Someone I love went back to the Lifestream too. And then, it came. The chosen day. In the end, the planet itself had to make the battles stop for good. The planet used the Lifestream as a weapon, and when it burst out of the Earth, all the fighting, all the greed and sadness, everything, was washed away. Sadness was the price to see it end. It's been two years since they told me that." Marlene, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"Mother has given me a very special gift, the ability to fight against a planet that torments humanity. She gave this gift to all her children. That's right, you and I are brethren. Brothers and sisters chosen when we inherited Mother's mamedic legacy through the Lifestream! But, the planet doesn't approve of that at all! It's doing everything it can to hold us back! That's why it's wracking our bodies with pain, and filling our hearts with doubt! Now, I shall heal you, and we will go to Mother together! We will join as a family, and strike back at the planet!" Kadaj, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children
"Alchemy, the science of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. However it is not an all powerful art. It's impossible to create something from nothing. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. That is the law of Equvalent Exchange, the basis of all alchemy. In accordance with this law there is a taboo among alchemists. Human transmutation is strictly forbidden. For what could equal the value of a human soul?" Opening for Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood
"Who's... hand is this? It's... it's mine. Does this mean... I've become someone that people need? Who's that? Is that me? Yes, it's me. Me, wanting to be needed by someone. Why? Why did I want that? Why did I yearn for that? Those eyes. That nose. That mouth. Why? Why is that Gaara? I was in there. No. What am I anyway? I'm only aware of being me. So who am I? Am I anything more than just this small consciousness?" Gaara, Naruto Shippuden episode 17: The Death of Gaara.
"Let me ask you something. You ever wonder why we're here? No! I mean why are you here? You always act like you want to quit. You could have left whenever you wanted. No one would have stopped ya. So why are you here? And you, Simmons! You say you want to be in charge. They'd have given you your own squad a dozen times over. You know it. I know it. But you're still here. And you, Tucker! Much as I hate to say it, you're actually good at being a soldier. I know you like to make your rude comments, pretend like it all doesn't matter. But an entire alien race chose you to be their hero. So why are you here? And Caboose. Uh... it's good to see you. Maybe you're all here cause this is the only place you fit in. Maybe you're all here cause this is the only place you have to go. Or maybe you're all here, cause deep down, you want to be here. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is that you're here. For all we know, Church and Tex are dead. So we're the only ones who know what's happened, the only ones who can keep them from covering it up. The way I see it, these Freelancer guys want to use us, take us away from our families, and send us all over the deadgum galaxy to test if their agents are ready for the big fight! Well, time to show 'em what a big fight is all about! Time to clean the slate! So I ain't ordering you to go. I ain't even asking. You do what you gotta do, Private Grif." Sarge, Red vs Blue, season 8, episode 17
"A great love is a lot like a good memory. When it's there, and you know it's there, but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. Then you can focus on it and try to force it, but the more you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient and you hold still, well maybe, just maybe, it'll come to you. I just have to be somewhere she can find me. And I mean hell...if you have to live the rest of your life in a memory...you might as well make it a good one." Church, Red vs Blue Revelation, episode 19
"You know, Caboose, I used to not care. I just went along with orders and hoped that everything would work out for me. But after all that has happened, you know what I learned? It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole, or pervert, or snob, or they're lazy, or arrogant, or an idiot, or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise them on a personal level. Not because they're Red, or Blue, but because you know them, and you see them every single day, and you can't stand them because they are a complete and total fucking douchebag." Church, Red vs Blue, season 5, final episode
"Dear Chairman, I am disappointed by your decision to press charges, but I am not surprised. My only hope is that the courts will see the matters differently than you have. You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle. Nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plauged me with the question, if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her has haunted me my entire life, and more so in these last few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself. Had I only the chance. I know that you disagreed with my methods and that others will as well. This is beyond my control. However... I cannot imagine that any court would be able to convict me, no matter how low their opinion of my actions might be. You must understand one basic fact for all this to make sense, my dear Chairman: these AI... they all come from somewhere. They are all based on a person. Our Alpha was no exception. And while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others... there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves. So you send your men. They won't find themselves a fight. They'll only find an old man. An old man tired, but satisfied he did his duty. An old man weary from a mind more filled with memory than it is with hope. Sincerely yours, the former Director of Project Freelancer, Dr. Leonard Church." Red vs Blue Reconstruction episode 19.
Altaïr: Be at peace.
Tamir: You'll pay for this. You and all your kind.
Altaïr: It seems you're the one who pays now, my friend. You'll not profit from suffering any longer.
Tamir: You think me some petty death dealer, suckling at the breast of war!? A strange target, don't you think? Why me, when so many others do the same?
Altaïr: You believe yourself different, then?
Tamir: Oh but I am, for I serve a far nobler cause than mere profit. Just like my brothers.
Tamir: Ah, but he thinks I act alone. I am but a piece, a man with a part to play. You'll come to know the others soon enough...they won't take kindly to what you've done!
Altaïr: Good. I look forward to ending their lives as well!
Tamir: Such pride. It will destroy you, child.
Altaïr: Let go your burden.
Garnier: Ah, I'll rest now, yes. The endless dream calls to me, but before I close my eyes, I must know: what will become of my children?
Altaïr: You mean the people made to suffer your cruel experiments!? They'll be free to return to their homes!
Garnier: Homes!? What homes!? The sewers? The brothels? The prisons that we would hide them from?
Altaïr: You took these people against their will!
Garnier: Yes, what little will there was for them to have. Are you really so naive? Do you appease a crying child, simply because he wails? "But I want to play with fire, father". What would you say? "As you wish?". Ah, but then you'd answer for his burns.
Altaïr: These are not children, but men and women, full grown.
Garnier: In body, perhaps, but not in mind, which is the very damage I sought to repair. I admit, without the Piece of Eden-which you stole from us- my progress was slowed. But there are herbs, mixtures and extracts. My guards are proof of this: they were madmen before I found and freed them from the prisons of their own minds...and with my death, madmen they will be again.
Altaïr: You truly believe you were helping them?
Garnier: It's not what I believe...it's what I know.
Altaïr: You've nowhere to run now. Share your secrets with me.
Talal: My part is played. The Brotherhood is not so weak that my death will stop its work.
Altaïr: What Brotherhood?
Talal: Al Mualim is not the only one with designs upon the Holy Land. And that's all you'll have from me!
Altaïr: Then we are finished. Beg forgiveness from your god!
Talal: He's long abandoned us. Long abandoned the men and women I took into my arms.
Altaïr: What do you mean?
Talal: Beggars, whores, addicts, lepers: do they strike you as proper slaves? Unfit for even the most menial tasks? No, I took them not to sell, but to save, and yet you'd kill us all...for no other reason than it was asked of you.
Altaïr: No! You profit from the war, from lives lost and broken.
Talal: Yes, you would think that, ignorant as you are. Wall off your mind: they say it's what your kind do best. Do you see the irony in all this? No, not yet, it seems, but you will...
Altaïr: Be at peace now. Their words can no longer do harm.
Abu'l: Why have you done this!?
Altaïr: You stole money from those you claimed to lead, sent it away for some unknown purpose. I want to know where it's gone and why!
Abu'l: Look at me! My very nature is an affront to the people I ruled, and these noble robes did little more than to muffle their shouts of hate.
Altaïr: So this is about vengeance, then?
Abu'l: No, not vengeance, but my conscience. How could I finance a war in service to the same god that calls me an abomination?
Altaïr: If you do not serve Saladin's cause, then whose?
Abu'l: In time, you'll come to know them: I think perhaps you already do.
Altaïr: Then why hide? And why these dark deeds?
Abu'l: Is it so different from your own work? You take the lives of men and women, strong in the conviction that their deaths will improve the lots of those left behind: a final evil for a greater good. We are the same!
Altaïr: No! We are nothing alike!
Abu'l: Ah, but I see it in your eyes: you doubt. You cannot stop us...we will have our "New World"
Altaïr: Rest now. Your schemes are at an end.
William: What do you know of my work?
Altaïr: I know that you were going to murder Richard, and claim Acre for your son, Conrad.
William (laughing): For Conrad!? My son is an arse, unfit to lead his host, let alone a kingdom! And Richard? The oc e no is no better, blinded as he is by faith in the insubstantial. Acre does not belong to either of them!
Altaïr: Then who?
William: The city belongs to its people!
Altaïr: How can you claim to speak for the citizens!? You stole their food, disciplined them without mercy, forced them into service under you!
William: Everything I did, I did to prepare them for the "New World". Stole their food? No, I took possession, so that when the lean times came, it might be rationed properly. (coughes chokingly). Look around: my district is without crime- save those committed by you and your ilk!- and as for the conscription, they were not being trained to fight: they were being taught the merits of order and discipline. These things are hardly evil.
Altaïr: No matter how noble you believe your intentions, these actions are cruel and cannot continue!
William (laughing): We'll see how sweet they are, the fruits of your labours. You do not free the cities as you believe, but rather damn them! And in the end, you'll have only yourself to blame...you, who speak of good intentions.
Altaïr: Your work here is finished.
Majd: No! No! It had only just begun!
Altaïr: Tell me, what's your part in all this? Do you intend to defend yourself as the others have, and explain away your evil deeds?
Majd: The Brotherhood wanted the city: I wanted power. There was... an opportunity.
Altaïr: An opportunity to murder innocents!
Majd: Not so innocent! Dissident voices cut deep as steel. They disrupt order. In this, I do agree with the Brotherhood.
Altaïr: You'd kill people simply for believing differently from you?
Majd: Of course not! I killed them because I could! Because it was fun! Do you know what it feels like to determine another man's fate? And did you see the way the people cheered? The way they feared me? I was like a god! You'd have done the same if you could! Such power!
Altaïr: Once perhaps, but then I learned what becomes of those who lift themselves above others.
Majd: And what is that?
Altaïr: Here, let me show you! (stabs Majd in the neck with the Hidden Blade)
Jubair: Why!? Why have you done this?!
Altaïr: Men must be free to do what they believe. It is not our right to punish one for thinking what they do, no matter how much we disagree!
Jubair: Then what?
Altaïr: You of all people should know the answer. Educate them, teach them right from wrong. It must be knowledge that frees them, not force.
Jubair: They do not learn, fixed in their ways as they are. You are naive to think otherwise. It's an illness, for which there is but one cure.
Altaïr: You're wrong, and that is why you must be put to rest.
Jubair: Am I not unlike those precious books you seek to save? A source of knowledge with which you disagree. Yet you are rather quick to steal my life.
Altaïr: A small sacrifice to save many. It is necessary.
Jubair: Is it not ancient scrolls that inspire the Crusaders, that fill Saladin and his men with a sense of righteous fury? Their texts endanger others, bring death in their wake. I too was making a small sacrifice. It matters little now: your deed is done...and so am I.
Sibrand: Please, don't do this!
Altaïr: You are afraid...
Sibrand: Of course I am afraid!
Altaïr: But you'll be safe now, held in the arms of your god.
Sibrand: Have my brothers taught you nothing!? I know what waits for me, for all of us!
Altaïr: If not your god, then what?
Sibrand: Nothing. Nothing waits...and that is what I fear.
Altaïr: You don't believe?
Sibrand: How could I, given what I know? What I've seen? Our treasure was the proof!
Altaïr: Proof of what?
Sibrand: That this life is all we have!
Altaïr: Linger a while longer then, and tell me of the part you were to play.
Sibrand: A blockade by sea, to keep the fool kings and queens from sending reinforcements once we...once we...
Altaïr: Conquered the Holy Land!?
Sibrand: Freed it, you fool, from the tyranny of faith!
Altaïr: Freedom!? You worked to overthrow cities, control men's minds, murdered any who spoke against you!
Sibrand: I followed my orders, believing in my cause, same as you.
Altaïr: It's done, then! Your schemes, like you, are put to rest!
Robert (laughing coldly): You know nothing of schemes. You're but a puppet: he betrayed you, boy, just as he betrayed me!
Altaïr: Speak sense, Templar, or not at all!
Robert: Nine men he sent you to kill, yes? The nine who guarded the treasure's secret?
Altaïr: What of it?
Robert: It wasn't nine who found the treasure, Assassin: not nine, but ten!
Altaïr: A tenth? None may live who carry the secret. Give me his name!
Robert: Oh, but you know him well, and I doubt very much you'd take his life as willingly as you've taken mine!
Robert: It is your master, Al Mualim!
Altaïr: But he is not a Templar!
Robert: Did you never wonder how it is he knew so much? Where to find us, how many we numbered, what we aspire to attain?
Altaïr: He is the master of the Assassins!
Robert: Oui, master of lies, you and I just two more pawns in his grand game. And now, with my death, only you remain. Do you think he'll let you live, knowing what you do?
Altaïr: I've no interest in the treasure!
Robert: Ah, but he does! The only difference between your master and I is that he did not want to share! Ironic, isn't it, that I, your greatest enemy, kept you safe from harm. But now you've taken my life...and in the process, ended your own!
(Al Mualim collapses. The Piece of Eden falls from his hand and rolls away).
Al Mualim: Impossible! The student does not defeat the teacher!
Altaïr: La shaiq' waqee mutlak bl kollin mumkin.
Al Mualim: So it seems. You have won, then. Go and claim your prize.
Altaïr: You held fire in your hand, old man. It should have been destroyed!
Al Mualim: Destroy the only thing capable of ending the Crusades and creating true peace?! Never!
Altaïr: Then I will!
Al Mualim: We'll see about that...
Kadaj: Boy do I hate liars.
Rufus: I apologize. This time you get the truth. The object you seek fell from the helicopter while we were running from you. I'm afraid we were careless.
Kadaj: Is that right?
Rufus: I swear it.
Kadaj: Fine, then swear on these. (tosses Tseng and Elena's id cards behind him)
Rufus: Why did you do this?
Kadaj: We need Mother's power. The reunion is coming, and we need her.
Kadaj: My brothers and sisters who share Mother's cells will all assemble, and together we'll take revenge on the planet. We've already sent out the invitations, but someone's gone and hidden the guest of honor.
Kadaj: The stigma. But you know all about that don't you sir? Mother's mamedic legacy lives on in the Lifestream and makes it happen. She does so much for us, and we... we don't even know where to find her. But what can we do? We're just remnants, remnants of Mother's legacy. Until we find Mother and recieve her cells, we can't be whole again. Geostigma and a legacy aren't enough. Not for a true reunion.
Rufus: What do you mean?
Kadaj: But sir, surely you've noticed.
Ed: Where am I?
Ed: Who are you?
Truth: Oh, I so glad you asked! I am called by many names. I'm the world. I'm the universe. I'm God. I am Truth. I am all. I am one. And I am also, you. -Gate opens behind Ed- You have dared to knock on the door. Now, the door is open. -Gate starts pulling Ed toward it-
Truth: Quiet child. This is what you wanted, isn't it? I will so you, the truth. -after Ed returns- How was it?
Ed: I was right. My theory of human transmutation wasn't wrong! It can be done! It's possible! It's still just missing something! All of the answers I need are right here! The truth about human transmutation! Please! You have to show it to me again!
Truth: I can't do that. I've already shown you all I can for the toll you've paid.
Ed: Toll? What toll?
Truth: This, surly you knew. -Ed's left leg disappears and reappears on him- It's the law of Equivalent Exchange! Right, young alchemist?
For everyone who hates stereotypes:
I'm skinny, so I MUST be anorexic.
Heres a copy of the Fourty Nine Laws of Anime, copy it if you're a anime writer.
Fourty- Nine laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
6. Law of Temporal Variability
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
13. Law of Energetic Emission
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
15. Law of Inexhaustability
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
26. Law of Feline Mutation
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
34. Law of Probable Attire
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
41. Law of Xylolaceration
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
#47- Law of Mandibular Combustible Emission- All anime characters seem to have some
#48- Law of Electrical and Combustible Survivalism- If you get electrocuted or
#49- Law of Female wrath- If a male character insults a female character, he will
#50- Law of Artistic Perversion- Most (not all) Anime artists are perverts and are
#51- Law of Uninteruptable Nominative Clamovocation- This law is a mixture of Laws
52- Law of Telepathic Obliviousness- Most of the time, some Anime characters
#53- Law of Chromatic Diversity- Air can be any color of the viewable spectrum.
#54- Law of Old Man Comic Relief- Comic relief comes in the form of a short, bald,
#55- Law of the Wise Old Man- Little old Japanese men always know how it ends and
#56- Law of Omnipotent Unreliability- Any "Bad Guy" with Omnipotent powers/weapons
#57- Law of Minimum Corneal Volume- Eyeballs may make up no less than one sixth of
#58- Law of Electrical Charges in Hair- Hair attracts electricity in abundance,
A negative charge will result in the
#59- Law of Ammunition Accuracy- When there are multiple types of ammunition
#60- Law of Active Female Attraction- In a comedy series, a male character’s
#61- Law of Sweat Pore Variability- When a person is embarrassed, caught in an
#62- The Law of Inverse Training Time- A person who has been training for 3 years
#63- Law of Needs to Few and Many- The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the
#64- Law of Bad Humor- Whenever someone says something that is intended to be
#65- Law of Extreme Anger- Whenever a female character gets mad, such as seeing the
#66- Law of Differentiated Gravitation-
#67- Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any situation where the
#68- Law of Coercive Vehicular Control- No matter how complex or well defined the
#69- Amendment to the Law of Conservation of Ambient Dramatic Tension- In any
#70- Law of The Rushing Background Effect- Whenever something dramatic occurs, a
#71- Law of Interdimensional Hammers- Whenever a female character witnesses a male
#72- Law of Instant Band-Aids- Whenever a character is injured (usually in a head
#73- Law of Universal Edge Defense- Any projectile attack, from a blast of magic to
#74- Law of Intractable Sanity- There is no such thing as insanity in anime. When
Get possessed by them, especially if they are beautiful girls or men in a
#75- Law of Celestial Body Control- At a dramatically correct moment, a hero can
#76- Law of Aura of Forgetfulness- Any hero who wishes his/her identity to remain a
#77- Law of Cool Hair Factor- The hair of a hero will always coalesce into thick
#78- Law of Inverse Coping- Any single event will happen to the ONE character LEAST
#79- Law of Martial Arts Training Invulnerability- The Myth that certain martial
#80- Law of Stereotype Captain characteristics- If a captain of any type of ship is
#81- Law of Shades/Coolness Factor- Shades can make you instantly cool, even if
#82- Law of Hentai Plot- The proper response to any change in the plotline of a
#83- Law of Understatement- Anything that is deemed too impossible will become
First Corollary- Any "Bad Guy" stating "T-that’s impossible!" whenever the
#84- Law of Dormant Powers- Anytime a hero is somehow outpowered and/or outclassed
#85- Law of Style Coefficient- In a situation where a Good guy may be in dire
#86- Law of Bad Guy Smugness Factor- Whenever the villain actually succeeds in
#87- Law of Tableware Nonexistence- There IS no spoon.
#88- Law of Goofy Turn-Ons- In Hentai, ordinary , pedestrian objects sometimes have
#89- Law of Penile Variance- All Anime men in Hentai have a ridiculously large
#90-Law of Hentai Female Characteristics- All Hentai women have the following
1) Very sensitive and/or very large breasts with large nipples.
#91- Law of Vaginal Variance- Hentai Anime women can take penis lengths of 8" and
#92- Law of Hero Identification- All heroes are introduced by way of appearance
#93- Law of Cute Mascots- Any anime either Shojo or Shonen has GOT to have at
#94- Law of The Force- Most Anime heroes are blessed with a unique sort of ability
#95- Law of Naughty Tentacles- All Anime Tentacles are VERY horny and will rape any
#96- Law of Cat-Fighting- Two females with a grudge can and will go at each other,
#97- Law of Healing- Most anime heroes have a Wolverine-like healing factor that
#98- Law of Stereotype Crew Characteristics- All ships, either waterborne or
#99- Law of Sparklies- Whenever a character of the main character’s interest
#100- Law of Anime Events- Much like wrestling, anything and everything can happen.
The 48 Laws of Power
by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers
Never Outshine the Master
Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.
Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.
Conceal your Intentions
Keep people off-balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelope them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be too late.
Always Say Less than Necessary
When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.
So Much Depends on Reputation – Guard it with your Life
Reputation is the cornerstone of power. Through reputation alone you can intimidate and win; once you slip, however, you are vulnerable, and will be attacked on all sides. Make your reputation unassailable. Always be alert to potential attacks and thwart them before they happen. Meanwhile, learn to destroy your enemies by opening holes in their own reputations. Then stand aside and let public opinion hang them.
Court Attention at all Cost
Everything is judged by its appearance; what is unseen counts for nothing. Never let yourself get lost in the crowd, then, or buried in oblivion. Stand out. Be conspicuous, at all cost. Make yourself a magnet of attention by appearing larger, more colorful, more mysterious, than the bland and timid masses.
Get others to do the Work for you, but Always Take the Credit
Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork of other people to further your own cause. Not only will such assistance save you valuable time and energy, it will give you a godlike aura of efficiency and speed. In the end your helpers will be forgotten and you will be remembered. Never do yourself what others can do for you.
Make other People come to you – use Bait if Necessary
When you force the other person to act, you are the one in control. It is always better to make your opponent come to you, abandoning his own plans in the process. Lure him with fabulous gains – then attack. You hold the cards.
Win through your Actions, Never through Argument
Any momentary triumph you think gained through argument is really a Pyrrhic victory: The resentment and ill will you stir up is stronger and lasts longer than any momentary change of opinion. It is much more powerful to get others to agree with you through your actions, without saying a word. Demonstrate, do not explicate.
Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery – emotional states are as infectious as disease. You may feel you are helping the drowning man but you are only precipitating your own disaster. The unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune on themselves; they will also draw it on you. Associate with the happy and fortunate instead.
Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain your independence you must always be needed and wanted. The more you are relied on, the more freedom you have. Make people depend on you for their happiness and prosperity and you have nothing to fear. Never teach them enough so that they can do without you.
Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to Disarm your Victim
One sincere and honest move will cover over dozens of dishonest ones. Open-hearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. Once your selective honesty opens a hole in their armor, you can deceive and manipulate them at will. A timely gift – a Trojan horse – will serve the same purpose.
When Asking for Help, Appeal to People’s Self-Interest,
Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
If you need to turn to an ally for help, do not bother to remind him of your past assistance and good deeds. He will find a way to ignore you. Instead, uncover something in your request, or in your alliance with him, that will benefit him, and emphasize it out of all proportion. He will respond enthusiastically when he sees something to be gained for himself.
Pose as a Friend, Work as a Spy
Knowing about your rival is critical. Use spies to gather valuable information that will keep you a step ahead. Better still: Play the spy yourself. In polite social encounters, learn to probe. Ask indirect questions to get people to reveal their weaknesses and intentions. There is no occasion that is not an opportunity for artful spying.
Crush your Enemy Totally
All great leaders since Moses have known that a feared enemy must be crushed completely. (Sometimes they have learned this the hard way.) If one ember is left alight, no matter how dimly it smolders, a fire will eventually break out. More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation: The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge. Crush him, not only in body but in spirit.
Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor
Too much circulation makes the price go down: The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear. If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired. You must learn when to leave. Create value through scarcity.
Keep Others in Suspended Terror: Cultivate an Air of Unpredictability
Humans are creatures of habit with an insatiable need to see familiarity in other people’s actions. Your predictability gives them a sense of control. Turn the tables: Be deliberately unpredictable. Behavior that seems to have no consistency or purpose will keep them off-balance, and they will wear themselves out trying to explain your moves. Taken to an extreme, this strategy can intimidate and terrorize.
Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself – Isolation is Dangerous
The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves. A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target. Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle. You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.
Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person
There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs’ clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully, then – never offend or deceive the wrong person.
Do Not Commit to Anyone
It is the fool who always rushes to take sides. Do not commit to any side or cause but yourself. By maintaining your independence, you become the master of others – playing people against one another, making them pursue you.
Play a Sucker to Catch a Sucker – Seem Dumber than your Mark
No one likes feeling stupider than the next persons. The trick, is to make your victims feel smart – and not just smart, but smarter than you are. Once convinced of this, they will never suspect that you may have ulterior motives.
Use the Surrender Tactic: Transform Weakness into Power
When you are weaker, never fight for honor’s sake; choose surrender instead. Surrender gives you time to recover, time to torment and irritate your conqueror, time to wait for his power to wane. Do not give him the satisfaction of fighting and defeating you – surrender first. By turning the other check you infuriate and unsettle him. Make surrender a tool of power.
Concentrate Your Forces
Conserve your forces and energies by keeping them concentrated at their strongest point. You gain more by finding a rich mine and mining it deeper, than by flitting from one shallow mine to another – intensity defeats extensity every time. When looking for sources of power to elevate you, find the one key patron, the fat cow who will give you milk for a long time to come.
Play the Perfect Courtier
The perfect courtier thrives in a world where everything revolves around power and political dexterity. He has mastered the art of indirection; he flatters, yields to superiors, and asserts power over others in the mot oblique and graceful manner. Learn and apply the laws of courtiership and there will be no limit to how far you can rise in the court.
Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define if for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions – your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life.
Keep Your Hands Clean
You must seem a paragon of civility and efficiency: Your hands are never soiled by mistakes and nasty deeds. Maintain such a spotless appearance by using others as scapegoats and cat’s-paws to disguise your involvement.
Play on People’s Need to Believe to Create a Cultlike Following
People have an overwhelming desire to believe in something. Become the focal point of such desire by offering them a cause, a new faith to follow. Keep your words vague but full of promise; emphasize enthusiasm over rationality and clear thinking. Give your new disciples rituals to perform, ask them to make sacrifices on your behalf. In the absence of organized religion and grand causes, your new belief system will bring you untold power.
Enter Action with Boldness
If you are unsure of a course of action, do not attempt it. Your doubts and hesitations will infect your execution. Timidity is dangerous: Better to enter with boldness. Any mistakes you commit through audacity are easily corrected with more audacity. Everyone admires the bold; no one honors the timid.
Plan All the Way to the End
The ending is everything. Plan all the way to it, taking into account all the possible consequences, obstacles, and twists of fortune that might reverse your hard work and give the glory to others. By planning to the end you will not be overwhelmed by circumstances and you will know when to stop. Gently guide fortune and help determine the future by thinking far ahead.
Make your Accomplishments Seem Effortless
Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease. All the toil and practice that go into them, and also all the clever tricks, must be concealed. When you act, act effortlessly, as if you could do much more. Avoid the temptation of revealing how hard you work – it only raises questions. Teach no one your tricks or they will be used against you.
Control the Options: Get Others to Play with the Cards you Deal
The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually your puppets. Give people options that come out in your favor whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns of a dilemma: They are gored wherever they turn.
Play to People’s Fantasies
The truth is often avoided because it is ugly and unpleasant. Never appeal to truth and reality unless you are prepared for the anger that comes for disenchantment. Life is so harsh and distressing that people who can manufacture romance or conjure up fantasy are like oases in the desert: Everyone flocks to them. There is great power in tapping into the fantasies of the masses.
Discover Each Man’s Thumbscrew
Everyone has a weakness, a gap in the castle wall. That weakness is usual y an insecurity, an uncontrollable emotion or need; it can also be a small secret pleasure. Either way, once found, it is a thumbscrew you can turn to your advantage.
Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.
Master the Art of Timing
Never seem to be in a hurry – hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself, and over time. Always seem patient, as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. Become a detective of the right moment; sniff out the spirit of the times, the trends that will carry you to power. Learn to stand back when the time is not yet ripe, and to strike fiercely when it has reached fruition.
Disdain Things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best Revenge
By acknowledging a petty problem you give it existence and credibility. The more attention you pay an enemy, the stronger you make him; and a small mistake is often made worse and more visible when you try to fix it. It is sometimes best to leave things alone. If there is something you want but cannot have, show contempt for it. The less interest you reveal, the more superior you seem.
Create Compelling Spectacles
Striking imagery and grand symbolic gestures create the aura of power – everyone responds to them. Stage spectacles for those around you, then full of arresting visuals and radiant symbols that heighten your presence. Dazzled by appearances, no one will notice what you are really doing.
Think as you like but Behave like others
If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.
Stir up Waters to Catch Fish
Anger and emotion are strategically counterproductive. You must always stay calm and objective. But if you can make your enemies angry while staying calm yourself, you gain a decided advantage. Put your enemies off-balance: Find the chink in their vanity through which you can rattle them and you hold the strings.
Despise the Free Lunch
What is offered for free is dangerous – it usually involves either a trick or a hidden obligation. What has worth is worth paying for. By paying your own way you stay clear of gratitude, guilt, and deceit. It is also often wise to pay the full price – there is no cutting corners with excellence. Be lavish with your money and keep it circulating, for generosity is a sign and a magnet for power.
Avoid Stepping into a Great Man’s Shoes
What happens first always appears better and more original than what comes after. If you succeed a great man or have a famous parent, you will have to accomplish double their achievements to outshine them. Do not get lost in their shadow, or stuck in a past not of your own making: Establish your own name and identity by changing course. Slay the overbearing father, disparage his legacy, and gain power by shining in your own way.
Strike the Shepherd and the Sheep will Scatter
Trouble can often be traced to a single strong individual – the stirrer, the arrogant underling, the poisoned of goodwill. If you allow such people room to operate, others will succumb to their influence. Do not wait for the troubles they cause to multiply, do not try to negotiate with them – they are irredeemable. Neutralize their influence by isolating or banishing them. Strike at the source of the trouble and the sheep will scatter.
Work on the Hearts and Minds of Others
Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduced becomes your loyal pawn. And the way to seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.
Disarm and Infuriate with the Mirror Effect
The mirror reflects reality, but it is also the perfect tool for deception: When you mirror your enemies, doing exactly as they do, they cannot figure out your strategy. The Mirror Effect mocks and humiliates them, making them overreact. By holding up a mirror to their psyches, you seduce them with the illusion that you share their values; by holding up a mirror to their actions, you teach them a lesson. Few can resist the power of Mirror Effect.
Preach the Need for Change, but Never Reform too much at Once
Everyone understands the need for change in the abstract, but on the day-to-day level people are creatures of habit. Too much innovation is traumatic, and will lead to revolt. If you are new to a position of power, or an outsider trying to build a power base, make a show of respecting the old way of doing things. If change is necessary, make it feel like a gentle improvement on the past.
Never appear too Perfect
Appearing better than others is always dangerous, but most dangerous of all is to appear to have no faults or weaknesses. Envy creates silent enemies. It is smart to occasionally display defects, and admit to harmless vices, in order to deflect envy and appear more human and approachable. Only gods and the dead can seem perfect with impunity.
Do not go Past the Mark you Aimed for; In Victory, Learn when to Stop
The moment of victory is often the moment of greatest peril. In the heat of victory, arrogance and overconfidence can push you past the goal you had aimed for, and by going too far, you make more enemies than you defeat. Do not allow success to go to your head. There is no substitute for strategy and careful planning. Set a goal, and when you reach it, stop.
By taking a shape, by having a visible plan, you open yourself to attack. Instead of taking a form for your enemy to grasp, keep yourself adaptable and on the move. Accept the fact that nothing is certain and no law is fixed. The best way to protect yourself is to be as fluid and formless as water; never bet on stability or lasting order. Everything changes.
Evil Overlord List
My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum — a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way — even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless — my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, This Cannot Be!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This," and kill the advisor.
If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed unless I have a response that satisfies them.
I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
If I must have computer systems with publicly available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment.
My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutenant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of "Push the button."
I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say that his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!
16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"
Repost this if you laughed...
1. Who is your favorite Naruto character(s)?
I'd say... Itachi.
2. What is your favorite pairing(s)?
NaruSaku, without doubt.
3. Are you a Naruto yaoi or hentai fan?
Hentai and yuri.
4. Ever cosplayed Naruto characters? If so, who, where and how many times?
5. List your collection of Naruto junk and merchandise, if any:
The first movie, Shippuden DVDs, cards, manga, couple of games.
6. Have you ever felt that you were destined to be with a Naruto character? If so, who?
7. NaruHina or KibaHina?
8. SasuSaku or SasuNaru?
I hate both because Sasuke loves none but himself and Sakura is destined to be with Naruto.
9. Which team is your favorite? Team 7 or Team Gai?
10. Do you support the Obito theory? (Tobi=Obito)
11. Do you support the 'Yondaime is Naruto's father' theory?
What kind of fucking stupid question is that? It was obvious before it was proven.
12. Your favorite Akatsuki member?
13. Are you Pro-Sasuke or Anti-Sasuke?
DEATH TO SASUKE!!!
14. Have you seen all Naruto episodes so far (including Shippuden and fillers)?
15. Have you read all the chapters so far?
16. Do you believe Naruto has ADD?
Not ADD, just stupid.
17. Sub or dub?
Dub. I'd like to focus on action, not words on the bottom of the screen.
18. Pro-Sakura or Anti-Sakura?
She will be Naruto's wife one day.
19. Tobi = Annoying or funny?
A bit of both.
20. Do you even know who Tobi is?
21. Gai = Sexy beast or Ugly nerd?
Are you retarded?
22. Which character would be the best crossdresser?
Haku with his androgenous appearance.
23. Rock Lee = Weird or Awesome?
24. Which character would be best OOC? Who and how?
Naruto, he could actually be useful and not a complete imbicile.
25. Do you like Naruto fanfics?
26. Do you write Naruto fanfics?
27. Do you like lemons?
Irrelevant question. Don't jerk me around.
28. Do your parents know about the Naruto characters?
I have tried to educate them to no avail.
29. Have you watched the Naruto Abridged Series?
It has an abridged series?
30. Have you seen The Naruto Ultimate Fanflashes?
Could you repeat that?
31. Have you ever gotten someone else hooked on Naruto?
32. Have you ever been drawing Naruto in school and has someone recognized it?
I can't draw.
33. Have you ever been in class drawing Naruto and the teacher came up to you and said 'WTF is this?'
34. Has Naruto affected your school life and grades?
35. Are you broke thanks to Naruto?
36. Do you want to read Icha Icha Paradise?
37. Do you support the 'Yondaime is the Akatsuki Leader' theory?
He died sealing the Nine Tails into Naruto.
38. Do you draw Naruto fanart? If so, count how many there are in your gallery?
39. Is Sasuke still sexy in his second stage of the cursed seal?
I'm a guy, so the way that's worded, I'm not answering, but despite my hatred of him, the form does look pretty kick ass.
40. Do you have a Naruto OC?
41. Looking back at some of your answers, do you think Naruto has taken over your life?
A chat between shinobi(one of whom is an OC).
Ling: Sakura, we need to talk.
Sakura: About what?
Ling: Do you love Naruto?
Sakura: -blushing- No! Of course not!
Ling: Really? Because I have seen that you act like you do.
Sakura: You have not!
Ling: I have. You always act jealous when Naruto has possibly intimate moments with other women. That Preistess, Shion, that docter girl, Amaru, and that kunoichi, Fuka. Fuka in particular, given that unlike you, she managed to lock lips with Naruto. And you always ignore danger just to make sure he's alright. Sai told me that when Naruto and Yamato were sucked through time, you were screaming Naruto's name, completely ignoring Yamato. And when they returned, though you tried to hide it behind anger, you were truly happy that Naruto was alright.
Sakura: -blushing madly-
Ling: You know he loves you, right?
Sakura: -gasps- He does?
Ling: Indeed. In fact, he's here to say it right now.
Naruto: -enters- It's true, Sakura-chan! I love you!
Sakura: -muttering wide eyed- Naruto-kun.
Ling: -makes himself scarce-
Naruto: Sakura-chan, I love you more than anyone else in the world. You're everything to me.
Sakura: Naruto-kun... Ling was right. I love you too!
Naruto: Sakura-chan! -pulls Sakura into a passionate kiss-
Ling: -thinking from hiding spot- I rest my case.
1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Assassin's Creed II players guide: inside the Animus many players will feel
2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you reach?
My can of pringles.
3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
King of the Hill.
4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
Today, to check on my cat.
8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
I was on an RP.
9. What are you wearing?
None of your damn business.
10. Did you dream last night?
11. When did you last laugh?
Last night, when I watched a Foamy cartoon.
12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
Posters, Wallpaper, map, pictures, framed photo.
13. Seen anything weird lately?
14. What do you think of this quiz?
You people should go make some gay pornos.
15. What is the last film you saw?
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy.
A trip to Sakuracon.
17. Tell me something about you that I don't know about.
I know whoever made this quiz is gay.
18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Get rid of all the politicians and come up with a system that actually works.
19. Do you like to dance?
I have to be coerced.
20. George Bush:
21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
"I would send you to Hell were it not for the fact that you find the screams of the damned to be a comforting sound."
25. Tag six people who must also do this in THEIR profile.
Copy and Paste to do this survey
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
List twelve characters from your fandom in no particular order
1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
No and no.
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
I'm a guy, so I won't answer that.
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant
4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Neither. One's incest and the other is just plain creepy.
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Seven would document it for study.
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff?
Not a chance in Hell.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
How the fuck should I know?
12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Don't know, don't give two shits
13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
15. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
None, because I would never write such a fic.
17. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).
Sephiroth and Stein(WTF) are in a happy relationship until Spirit runs off with Reno. Sephiroth, heartbroken, has a hot one night stand with Yoshimori(Need brain bleach) and a brief unhappy affair with Madarao(Really need brain bleach), then follows the wise advise of Maka and finds true love with L(Get my fucking brain bleach!)
What title would you give this fic?
I Died and Went to Otaku Hell.
18. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
One's in Soul Eater, the other's in Death Note.
19. What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
If I wrote it, people who know me well would ask what the fuck I was smoking.
20. What might Ten scream in a moment of great passion?
21. What might be a good pick up line for Ten to use on Two?
I require a strong mate to bear children worty of serving Lady Arachne. I have chosen you.
22. How might Eleven describe a relationship between Two and Eight?
"Whatever floats your boat."
Hard to tell where I'm from.
I'm a Proud Member of the Dysfunctional Siblings!
ChazzyLuverGurl = Big Sister
WhiteAsukaLover = Big Brother
Amaya Uchiha 1 = Second Sister that was picked up from the bin. We hope that she will return to us someday.
15animefreak15 = Long-lost twin sister of Amaya Uchiha 1
Diapers and Angel Duelist 153 = Twins, third sisters
Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna= The Insane Sister
syrusfanatic12 = baby XD
Peachie = the gentle sister with a fierce side
JudaiHaou's Girl= The other little sister
Lobo Argost = the down to earth brother
We are the Dysfunctional Siblings!! You know you love us!
Our Mascot: Turkey Friend
We're the Dysfunctional Siblings
We rock so much!
When you see us, don't blink!
WhiteLadyDragon does our babysitting,
In her hands, we're all cootie-free!
ChazzyLuverGurl's our lovely big sissy
WhiteAsukaLover's our dearest aniki!
Amaya Uchiha 1's the pretty kid
The second sis that was picked from the bin!
Her long-lost twin15animefreak15
Her dark side is tough to beat!
Angel Duelist 153 and Diapers are the twins
The third sisters that will drive you crazy!
And then comes Peachie, who's kind of preachy,
But she loves you all eachie!
Lobo Argost aka Maru,
He keeps us sane!
Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna,
she's insane so don't get too reckless around this dame!
Last but not least, our lil' baby,
syrusfanatic12, oh she's such a cutie!
We know you love us to bits!
That's us, the Dysfunctional Siblings!
Also, I'm a member of Project Lucere.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Naruto fanfics are over populated by yaoi, primarily NaruSasu. If you believe me put this on your profile.
You say BABY PINK
(DON'T LET THE SPIRIT OF METAL DIE!!!)
Don't knock on death's door... Ring the door bell, then run for it! He hates that!
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
On Sears hairdryer:
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.
My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm sradishing to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I sradish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Mommy, I love you --tear jerker copy and paste thingy
Try not to cry
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech
Try Not to Cry
Please if you would,
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you
If you cried while you read this, copy this to your profile, and add your name to the list; Mysterious Miracle,Ghostkit,Goldenfeather, KeybladeAngel34, Hermione494, Lobo Argost
If you almost cryed while you read this copy this to your profile, and add your name to the list; Mysterious Miracle,Ghostkit, Goldenfeather, KeybladeAngel34, Hermione494, Lobo Argost
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia
93 percent of american teens would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" or "Your point being?" or "You just realized this now?" or "Wow, you're even more stupid than you look." or nevermind, just copy this to your profile and add your name to this list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the C.O.C.A, Invader Miley Phantom, Phantom Figure, deadzonedragon, Dpbuckeye, 2wingo, Banryuwielder244, angelic memories, mym painful symphony, philippinocherryblossom, Nyanonymous, craZy_goth_friendZ, jinxedpixie,romancebookreader, SutaakiHitori, xxVizardxxRukiaxx, imaginationoverload127, Leo Solaris the Lion Knight, Lord Zen, Lobo Argost