ur best nightmare322
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 07-23-08, id: 1644145, Profile Updated: 05-16-11
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Sex: how dare you! slap! you perv! oh sorry, um female

Looks: tall, brown hair, green eyes... yeah right! u thought i was actually going to tell you what i look like?

Age: 16 (that, i will tell u)

Location: earth, sometimes

Name: white chocolate

One word to describe myself: procrastination-incarnate

Favorite music genres: country, pop, new rock, jazz

book genre: fiction/fantasy/science fiction

Movies:

sahara

the day after tomorrow(only b/c it scares my sis)

the holiday

the mummy (1and2)

too many to name...

TV Shows:

Bones (absolutely addicted)

i just watched Alice on SyFy and have developed a competitive streak for Hatter with my friends.

Primeval on SyFy

Diagnosis Murder (this is an older show about medicine and crimes)

NCIS (OMG i squeeeeeee)

NCIS: LA

Authors:

James Patterson

J.K. Rolling

clive barker

many others...

Books: (not in order of preference)

Harry Potter series

Maximum Ride series

Steampunk novels

Stravaganza series

Germ

Music:

Nickelback

James Blunt

Taylor Swift

Evanescence

Paramore

linkin park

vanessa carlton

rascal flatts

within temtation

the red jumpsuit apparatus

panic at the disco

fall out boy

the veronicas

cranberries

my chemical romance

Daughtry

things i like:

online comics- the zombie hunters, i love that one.

- girls with slingshots

deviant art

life (um...yeah)

books (words on paper)

crying (sometimes u just gotta' cry for no reason at all)

THEY LAUGH B/C WE'RE LOSERS. WE LAUGH B/C THEY JUST FIGURED IT OUT. don't be afraid to be urself. if other people don't like what they see or don't see then that's their own damn problem.

PEOPLE USED TO CALL ME NAMES, BUT IT'S OKAY, THEY'RE DEAD NOW. ...it's also okay to get a little ticked off at people from time to time.

these are those funny/annoying copy and paste thingies that u fnd everywhere. mind u i'v been collecting them for a while so there are a lot :D

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy & paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, magicmehome, Bixxa, ur best nightmare322

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

if you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frick'n trix, copy and paste this into your profile. (Yeah, it gets FRIKK'N old.)

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.4.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid cliche, Rachel_Ray93, ur best nightmare322

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your pro!(and most are different lockers that you have had)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

if you bit some one before you even read twilight or new moon and your whole school is afraid of you for it, but not to afraid that it would keep them from calling you a freak.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (stalkers..)

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle. ( Ther're out to get me!! )

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann--Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN-- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

if you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile( always!)

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile

If you have ever said ‘cross over to the dark side. We have cookies!’ to someone you know, copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!! XD

If you ever wondered who made up all the 'copy this into your profile' thingies then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

and now, for some more funny things

'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

Therapy is expensive, but popping bubble wrap is FREE!

Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

A good friend will comfort you when he breaks up with you. A BEST friend will call him, whispering "Seven days..."

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love

'I'm paranoid. Does it show?

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

A friend will help you move a body, a BEST friend will help you move the dead body of your ex boyfriend to a ditch on the side of the freeway!!

That, my children, is called a wall. but beware the wall is solid. yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for i have attempted this many times before.

Go away or i will stuff you up that vending machine!!

People used to call me names, but thats ok, there dead now.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumb butt?"

EVER WONDER where we are heading...

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why you don't ever see the headline:
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor,
while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a
"Broker"?

Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why they don't make the whole plane out of the
material used for the indestructible
black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,
is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"
if flying is so safe?

Friendship

None of that sissy crap. Are you tired of those 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of truths to our friendship.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "i'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

~My Favorite Quotes~

Sad Ones

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through"

"The cracks in the cement is a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break."

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad"

"Just because i'm smiling doesn't mean i'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears"

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?"

"Forgetting doesn't make it better, it just makes it hurt again when I remember"

Funny Ones

"Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them but they always stick together."

"I like the idea of karma, you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it."

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life."

They laugh because we're losers...
We laugh because they just figured it out.

People say I'm stupid, I tell them not to be jealous!

qoutes from books that i absolutely adore

Nothing

After a battle lasting many ages,

The Devil won,

And he said to God

(who had been his Maker):

"Lord,

We are about to witness the unmaking of Creation

By my hand.

I would not wish you

to think me cruel,

So I beg you, take three things

From this world before I destroy it.

Three things, and then the rest will be

wiped away."

God thought for a little time.

And at last He said:

"No, there is nothing."

The Devil was surprised.

"Not even you, Lord?" he said.

And God said:

"No, not even me."

from memories of the world's end

author unknown

(Christopher Carriion'S favorite poem)

that was from "abarat: days of magic, nights of war" by clive barker

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I’m a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude
I'm BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naïve
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I’m A GOOD LIAR, so I MUST be an actor/actress
I’m a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone’s ass
I’m a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I’m FRENCH, so I MUST be homosexual
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIMI HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST love math
I'm BLACK, so I MUST be on welfare
I'm PUNK, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist
I'm IRISH, so I MUST be a alcoholic
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore
I'm a JEW, so I MUST be greedy
I have A LOT OF GUY FRIENDS so I MUST be dating them all
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd
I love RENT so I MUST be an emo lesbian with AIDS.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST believe in heaven.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST have an eating disorder

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Someone asked me the other day if my glass was half empty or half full. I was going to say it's empty, but that's not completely true. My life isn't void and I have my happy moments; but they usually just seem to disappear, or get worse. So, my glass is cracked. Yes, cracked. It gets filled up with happiness and hope, but it always ends up escaping my grasp. It always ends up emptying out. It will never be full because it's always leaking. And one day, it will get thrown away, because no one wants a broken glass.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail

Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."

Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number

Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade

Best Friends: Are 4 Ever

"I cause cancer. Tee hee." ~ Multiple 'People'

"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?” ~ Anonymous

"Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present.” ~ Anonymous

"My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.” ~ Anonymous

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous

"Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.” ~ Anonymous

"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." ~ Anonymous

"They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching." ~ Anonymous

"I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." ~ Anonymous

"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls." ~ Anonymous

"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." ~ Anonymous

"Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way." ~ Anonymous

"It's not how you pick your nose; it's where you put the booger." ~ Anonymous

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." ~ Anonymous

"Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought." ~ Anonymous

"Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer." ~ Anonymous

"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" ~ Anonymous

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." -Anonymous

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door...

"Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks

"Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something."
- Dennis Rodman, NBA Basketball player, on Chicago Bull's team chemistry being overrated

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

This is on me" is what Dorothy Parker wanted on her tombstone

"The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary." - Vidal Sassoon

"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life." --Tommy Lasorda

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

EMO kids have cool hair.

EMO=Extravagantly Made Origami

BEARS=Butt Extremely Annoying Retard Scientists

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Your mom looks like Voldemort (oooooh burn)

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world.

Why are the Force and ductape the same?-Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together.

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'll die and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.

Some minds are like concrete; thoroughly mixed and permanently set.

The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Tell the truth and run.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Music is love in search of word.

It's a fusion of Jazz and funk-is called 'Junk'!

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it?

"When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade"

Assassination is an extreme form of censorship

The sun has set, the moon has risen, today's the day we get out of prison!

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you." -Fang

Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick

He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might wanna offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out laud. I just have nothing better to say.

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Ask Harry if his scar senses are tingling

When I am at Hogwarts I will not: Sing "I'm Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmasters office.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

Darth Vader-Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Luke Skywalker-Nah, the rebels have cake.

Darth Vader-ooh! Can I be a rebel!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else"

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

"I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not."

"Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?"

"What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy."

"Guns don't kill people. I do."

"A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying 'Man, that was fun!'"

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side."

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Booth's Unexpected Competition by DevilJolie reviews
Is somebody else going to win Bones's heart before Booth makes his move? B&B with Parker. One shot. First fanfic. A follow up chapter as requested is now up!
Bones - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,228 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 2/10/2009 - S. Booth, T. Brennan - Complete
Brotherly Love by im with the vampires3 reviews
Jasper never seemed to be very fond of Bella in Twilight and then he tried attacked her in a lapse of control during her birthday party. When Alice saw the vision of Bella jumping off the cliff, he realized he had been wrong about Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,438 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Jasper, Alice - Complete
Mondlicht by Nicole Cullen reviews
Bella was a vampire when she moved to Forks in search of a new life. What will occur when she meets the Cullens and more importantly Edward? Bella learns first hand that your past always catches up with you. Only, it can be both good or bad.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 33,162 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 459 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 6/20/2008 - Published: 3/12/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I AM Silent by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Bella is vampire that moves to Forks with her vampire "parents". She can see all of your past thoughts and whole life in a single touch. The catch: she hasn't spoken since her change. Can the Cullens get her to speak? ExB First chap a double chap
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 32,448 - Reviews: 1468 - Favs: 956 - Follows: 439 - Updated: 6/2/2008 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Complete
Running, As Fast As I Can by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Bella is being hunted by James, so she runs away to Forks. Then she meets the Cullen's. How will this change things? And will James finally get ahold of Bella? Or will she escape? What about Edward? How will these facts change our favorite love story? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,454 - Reviews: 784 - Favs: 391 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 5/13/2008 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Complete
All Aboard by BookMe reviews
Rosalie, Alice and Bella win a 3week luxury cruise around the Caribbean where they meet Emmett, Jasper and Edward. Pleanty going on in this story. Also my personal favourite; All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 80,563 - Reviews: 1183 - Favs: 1,385 - Follows: 401 - Updated: 4/2/2008 - Published: 2/17/2008 - Complete
Stalker, Stalker, Saviours by BookMe reviews
The girls are living in Seattle, with some sort of creepy stalker after them. What happens when the boys step in and move in? ExB EmxR AxJ
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 65,296 - Reviews: 759 - Favs: 708 - Follows: 230 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Complete
lost and confused reviews
the cullens take in a runaway teen and while they are housing her they find they are not the only ones with dark secrets...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 13,434 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 8/5/2008