Hi everybody my names Anna and im 19 years old and graduated! Class of 2014 baby!!!

update: IM SOO SORYY I HAVNT UPDATED MY STORY, THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR TRUTHS AND DARES! BTW I WONT BE UPDATING ANYTIME SOON WITH A GOOD REASON...I FORGOT HOW TO...THAT AND IM SUPER BUSY WITH FAMILY PROBLEMS, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING MY STORY.

Favorite Books: Hunger games series, Twilight series and the Sweep series, and Ouran HighSchool Host Club series.

Favorite Shows: My favorite shows are Inuyasha, Big bang theory, FamilyGuy,American Dad,SouthPark, Bleach,

Favorite music: my favorite music is anything but most country. I like Taylor Swift and the Dixie chicks but that's it!!

These are quotes i got from other websites and other peoples profiles :

My name is Chris.

I am three,

My eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong

I can't speak at all

Or else im locked up

All day long.

When im awake im all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home

When my mommy does come home

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe i'll just get

One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's bar.

I hear him curse

My name is called

I press myself

Against the wall

I try to hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm starting to cry

He finds me weeping

Calls me ugly words,

He says its my fault

He suffers at work.

He slaps and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And run to the door

He's already locked it

And i start to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken,

"I'm sorry!", I scream

But its now much to late

His face has been twisted

Into a unimaginable shape

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

O please God, have mercy!

O please let it end!

And he finally stops

And heads for the door

While i lay there motionless

Brawled on the floor

My name is Chris

I am three,

Tonight my daddy

Murdered me.

IF YOU ARE AGAINST CHILDABUSE, COPY THAT POEM INTO YOUR PROFILE!!

Men are like slinkys,useless but fun to watch fall down the stairs

Children in the front seat can lead to accidents,accidents in the back seat can lead to children

Death is GODs way of saying your fired,sucided is mans way of saying you cant fire me i quit

Come to the dark side . . . WE HAVE COOKIES!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.

Perfection is a waste of time.

Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work? Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

I blame my attitude on videogames

There is stupid coming out of your mouth hole again

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.

So many boys, so many reasons to stay alone

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Heaven doesnt wan't me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you

Tired of living and scared of dying

Scared to remember, terrified to forget

I hear your silence loud and clear

Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?

How can i miss you if you never left?

I'm not with stupid anymore!

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.

Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable

Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.

Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually.

If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into doors

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person,"What was your first clue?"

Benefits of being a woman-
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.

She Said: You wear pants don't you?

People often ignore the simple things in life. If someone really annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown. On the other hand, it only takes 4 muscles to reach over and bitch slap that mutha fucker upside the head.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab separators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/confessions of love/any other Twilight related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you buy a paperback copy of Twilight before you get a hardcover, so that after the cover falls off from reading it 52 time, you can go back and underline every time you see the amazingly beautiful name "Edward." Crazy is when you go to the book stores just to see how many copies of Twilight you can find. Crazy is when you save the extras and deleted parts of the Twilight series, so you can read them later. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen
Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh
Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We fucked up, huh?"
Good friends dont let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid thing ALONE

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose,but you cant pick your friends nose.

A poem by Anna:

Roses are red

condoms are blue

aids come easy

so watch who you screw.

You smell like an old lady pooped on you then cleaned you with her goddamn spit!

Hey you? yeah you? you right there? no not you. yeah you? Do you like tacos?

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever felt the undeniable urge to slam your head into something, weather it is another person or not copy this into your profile

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile

92 percent of the teenaged population would be dead if Abercrombie and Filch or Polo said it was uncool to breathe. Post this on your profile if your one of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "to" and "too". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, pointless people of Pluto, itachikakashi, xXxLuna-of-the-ChosenxXx, .a.broken.heart.within. The Most OOC Writer Around, Mask of Mirage, Icedragon012990, Night's Fang, OhBrother, Under The Blackened Sky, Kasmik AliSaunden, Annanna20,

You know when you live in 2008 when...

1.) You accidentaly enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have weird friends put this on your profile.

If you think those kids should just give the Rabbit his cereal, put this on your profile!

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C.C. or The Hills, never have, never will, and are proud of it, put this on your profile.

98 percent of teenagers smoke or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, put this on your profile.

If your obsessed with fanfiction, copy this on your profile.

If your profile is way too long, copy this and make it longer.

If you have ever gotten so sidetracked in a converstation that you don't remember what you were talking about in the first place, copy

this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious preppy people as much as i do, PLEASE put this on your profile!

If every time you here a High School Musical 1 and/or 2, Hannah Montana, or any other Disney channel song you want to bleed from the ears, put this on your profile

If you ran up a "Down" escalator, copy this into your profile .

If you have gotten hit by a basketball, soccer ball, baseball, or volleyball, more than 5 times, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy and paste this into your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think the cocoa puff turkey bird thing should go to rehab, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

You laugh because I'm different...
I laugh cause I just farted!

What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

He who laughs last didn't get it.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The road to success is always under construction.

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Heres a joke I heard:
You are mad, I am Mad
You smoke, I smoke
You dumb, im dumb
You jump off a bridge, I'll miss your sorry ass

This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top lol

if you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this is your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane. If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile!

If you think that Sasuke from Naruto completely has to have the nick-name 'Chicken Butt Hair Dude', copy this to your profile while laughing your ass off.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want to learn Japanese, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'butterfly, Enrica (i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, Paper Hearts and Paper Cuts, mahalo4ursupport, Kuro Uchiha, inuyasha1106, kamiry, hinata 7875960400,annanna20

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile

If you like to write, copy/paste this in your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what MySpace is to other people, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you sometimes talk to yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you always say 'uhhh...' when someone questions you, instead of replying shortly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this in your profile.

you're one of those people who get excited when you jsut see two reveiws, paste this in your profile

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy and paste this on your profile.

A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying ''Walk much dumbass?"

If you have ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you or someone you know has ever run through something (glass door, window, wall, etc) copy this to your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.

you think TV Golf is the mst boring thing on TV... copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

Just because we eat animals for food, doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, copy this into your profile

If 2 of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you be standing there laughing your ass off. If you are copy and paste this

If you hate ShikaTema copypaste this to profile

If you think Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsey Lohan should stay in Rehab copy paste this

If you think Shikamaru is sexier than Sasuke copy and paste this

If you think Stewie Griffin should take over the world copy and paste this.

If you support ShikaIno '' (that means copy and paste)

have you ever been hurt because you daydreaming,if you have copy and paste on your profile

have your friends tell you that you are to obsess with fics that you are scaring them, copy and paste to your profile

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile.

If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out right now with the 'If you thinks' copy this to your profile already!

If you think that life without computers is useless, copy this to your profile.

If you hear voices in your head, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought imposible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rsceearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pofirle!

OK PEOPLE WHO ARE READING MY VERY LONG PRROFILE I WONT BE ABLE TO UPDATE MY STORY FOR SOME TIME BECAUSE MY MOM JUST HAD HER BABY AND MY OLDER BROTHER AND I HAVE TO HELP HERTAKE CARE OF IT. ITS ALSO VERY HARD TO THINK WITH A CRYING BABY TWO DOORS DOWN SO ITS GOING TO BE ALONG TIME BEFORE I GET TO UPDATE MY STORY. SORRY EVERYBODY.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!

THINGS TO DO WHEN IN WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
intervals.

3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.

4. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.

5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
if he knows where the anti-depressants are.

9. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

10. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
"PICK ME! PICK ME!!"

11. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

12. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"

13. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and down on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"

14. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your best John wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making gun
noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.

15. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and enjoy the film. (soap operas and kleenex are optional)

16. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them skyward whilst screaming" Fly my little ones, fly and be free!"

17. Randomly jump into people's shopping carts asking "Will you be my mommy?"

Crazy Quiz - "Am I Crazy?"

This quiz is so crazy. Really. But wait, are you crazy too? How crazy? Quiz yourself to see just how crazy you are...are the voices talking to you now? Ahh!

Do I know you?

That's it! This interview is over.

I don't believe we've met.

Wait, lemme ask the others...

I can't wait! GIMME THE RESULTS!

What is your favorite color?

What are you getting at?

Brown

Purplellow

My nose itches, I think I have a booger.

Do you believe in the Tooth Fairy?

No, that's a conspiracy! Who are you!? Is this Santa?! I KNEW IT!

No, I hate the idea of someone in my room without knowing it.

Actually, I AM the Tooth Fairy.

Did someone say Santa's here? Santa!?

If you could go anywhere crazy, where would you want to go?

Area 51. I know it's there!

A sterile white room with padding on the walls

Disneyland!...no..LA...no...New York...no...

Canada...or...ENGLAND...we could go on a road trip!!

What is your favorite type of candy?

No, I don't eat candy, they might have razor blades in 'em

M&Ms. But only the brown ones.

Skittles. All those colors...

PIXIE STIX! Do you have some?

There's a clown at your party and he gives you a balloon. You...

Destroy the balloon...it is a communist!

Ask for another balloon that looks more like a perfect circle.

Ask for...thirteen...more...no, wait...fourteen more

Run around with it, lose it when distracted by a kickball, play dodge ball...

What's your situation? Men and women can go crazy in various ways, for different reasons.

I'm a woman.

I'm a man.

I used to be a woman, but now I don't know. I think someone stole my gender. Was it YOU?

Your One and Only Wish
Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
(don't cheat--)
THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you
love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are
down.
3. If your initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to
blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you
fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but
the memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life
changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your
soulmate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time
but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do
anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.
9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday

Cry me a river build me a bridge do us all a favor and jump off of it.

A northern fairy tale starts out "once upon a time.."
A southern fairy tale starts out "y'all ain't gon' believe this shit!"

Murphy's Law of Combat: "Never forget that your weapon was manufactured by the lowest bidder"

SEXY; its not what you wear. its how you take it off Do you know why there are so many blonde jokes?

Because the brunettes have nothing better to do while all the blondes are out on dates.

Even if the voices are not real, they have some good ideas.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory

I been turning fellas heads since I first started walking but you just been giving fellas headaches since you first started talking.

The world would have been a lot better if you had just been a stain

Specify that your drive-thru order is to go, it confuses people

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

When I have a kid, I want to put him in one of those strollers for twins and then run around the mall looking frantic.

I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that I know a lot about cars.

I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.

An escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. You would never see an "Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order" sign, just "Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience."

The only reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Arguing over the internet is like the Special Olympics: even if you do win, you're still retarded.

Don't spend 2 to dry clean a shirt. donate it to the salvation army instead.

They'll clean it & put it on a hanger, Next morning buy it back for 75 cents!

I respect vegetarians and their decisions, but my thinking is I'm on top of the food chain here, so if I can get it, I can eat it. if a cow figures out how to kill me and eat me, more power to him!

Cancel My Subscription, cuz I'm sick of your issues!!

Sex is like spades. If you don't have a good partner u better have a good hand!

The best thing about Alzheimer’s is:You can hide your own Easter eggs

Birdie, birdie, in the sky, why'd you do that in my eye? Looks like sugar, tastes like sap. OMG! IT'S BIRDIE CRAP

When they put unknown at the end of a quote, that means they probably don't no how to spell anonymous

I'm a babe magnet... just the wrong end

Dumb is just not knowing..

. Ditzy is having the courage to ask Don't get high on life:

cereal hurts when it gets stuck up your nose

If you could read my mind...you'd be the 2nd smartest person on earth

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, "If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget it." I went for a walk last night and she asked me how long I was going to be gone. I said, "The whole time."

I got stopped by a cop the other day. He said, "Why'd you run that stop sign?" I said, "Because I don't believe everything I read."

When I die, I want to go like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like all the passengers in his car.

If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny

After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone.'

Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again.-= Marin County newspaper's TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz" =-

Join the army, meet interesting people, kill them.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't. I

like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper

. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

I found this joke on the internet:

I was packing for my business trip and my 3-year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.
At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!"

Pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.

When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.

I said, "What's wrong, honey?"

She replied, "What happened to my booger?

This is the weirdest convo my friend and I had in Science a few days ago:

Me: Starting tommaro i will stop talking for the rest of the week for no apparent reason. I BET I CANT DO IT.

Savanna:oooooo You just douted urself!! Cow ! Que Pena!

Me: ENGLISH Please i dont take spanish like you do

Savanna: Que pena means what a shame

Me:I DONT CARE I LIKE ENGLISH!!

Savanna: but pena reminds me of pinata which u break and its a shame to see it break

Me: I KNOW WHAT A FREAKING PINATA IS YOU TARD!!

Savanna: UR THE TURD!!

Me: NO UR THE TA...I wrote tard not turd.

we were passing notes during a movie that had a cow on it.

My friend skylar said this in math class: "im gonna go cereal on your ass bitch! Mom get some milk and a knife!!

"Moma!! Haruhi using those dirty boy words again!"-Tamaki ouran high school hostclub.