Dirtyfacade
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Joined 07-27-08, id: 1648351, Profile Updated: 09-02-11
Author has written 2 stories for Hellsing.

Hello boys and girls.

I am an art student in college who instead of doing work, occasionally writes terrible fan fiction. Hopefully someone will benefit from the products of my ADD, my procrastination and my half-baked education.

I'm a Hellsing fan or rather an Iscariot fan (oh ho ho). My favorite characters are Enrico Maxwell and Alexander Anderson. Quite logically, they are my favorite pairing. Thanks BTW to anyone in the world who has ever written an EM/AA fic. I have probably read it several times and enjoyed it indecently. Please, fans of this marvellous couple, don't be a nervous nelly, show support and put fics out there. I assure you that people adore them and you for writing them.

Other things I like: Futurama, Its Always Sunny, Daria, Depeche Mode, Jeremy Irons, the smell of cut grass, blankets, Oscar Wilde, honesty, The Talented Mr.Ripley, marmalade, long hair, cats, youtube cat videos, immaturity, Spain, Rocky Horror Picture Show, catholic paraphernalia, clean beaches, lukewarm tea, writing pretentiously about the stuff I like...

Anyways, don't be a stranger. Message me if you want to request a fic, or just want to know my favorite color (its purple, I spoiled the suspense). Don't let the name fool you, I really am a sweetie.

Cheers,
Dirty Facade

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Ticklish by shuramiyaki reviews
Even the most intense and serious of men can have tickle fights.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,546 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/23/2011 - Alexander, Enrico - Complete
Starved by Coletta reviews
Alucard and Integra are stranded on an island together, and Integra is Alucard's only source of sustenance.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,478 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 225 - Updated: 10/16/2011 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Alucard, Integra
Judas by CMYK reviews
AAxS. Slight AU. Millenium is broken, Iscariot is but a memory, and the Paladin has no place in the world. Hellsing offers him a niche, but he struggles with his contempt for them. NOW WITH PICTURES/ART!
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 28,260 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 10/4/2011 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Alexander, Seras
The Most Dangerous Foe by Coletta reviews
When his lips didn't part to reveal those fangs, he had a handsome smile. And he was very tall, which was pleasing to a girl. And she had grown fond of the way his unkempt hair fell into his eyes. Yes, he was the most dangerous foe. Mature content.
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,803 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 3/29/2011 - Published: 7/17/2010 - Alucard, Integra - Complete
Edelweiss by FilledeMarius reviews
While watching a sleeping Enrico Maxwell, Anderson contemplates the state of the newest member of his flock.
Hellsing - Rated: K - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Published: 3/28/2011 - Enrico, Alexander - Complete
Hunting the Hunter by DreadNot reviews
AU. In the 1950s Walter is Hellsing's primary weapon. A vampire sets out to see if the Angel of Death is as incorruptible as he thinks. Very AU AxW.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 81,768 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 2/25/2011 - Published: 10/21/2006 - Walter, Alucard - Complete
The Road Not Yet Travelled by blinkblink reviews
"Of all possibilities, the only one he had truly never expected – now or at any other time – was to find himself working in the petshop." Leon and D struggle to find a new dynamic to provide what they need: each other. Sequel to Simple Gifts. Mild Leon/D.
Pet Shop of Horrors - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,368 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 9/9/2010 - Count D, Leon - Complete
Catholics Are People, Too by ProbableImpossibilities reviews
Maxwell wrote a five-paragraph, English-class-type persuasive letter to all you Hellsing fan-fiction authors. He got a B- on it.
Hellsing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 707 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Published: 8/7/2010 - Enrico - Complete
Tea Time by Capt. Hasting reviews
Sir. Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing is forced to have tea with Enrico Maxwell so that the two of them may put aside their differences and become friends. yeah right
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,352 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/20/2010 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Integra, Enrico - Complete
Messy by Coletta reviews
Alucard's repeated attempts to seduce Integra end in humiliating failure-as his advances become more desperate, their relationship spirals out of control until Integra threatens to end their her family's contract for his servitude. On Hiatus.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 22,074 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 11/14/2009 - Published: 10/4/2009 - Alucard, Integra
O Fortuna by The Carnivorous Muffin reviews
Integra Hellsing decides that Alucard lives only to kill her soldiers.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Horror/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,655 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/11/2009 - [Integra, Alucard] - Complete
Massacre at the Hotel Rio by Unknown Marauder reviews
What happened at the Hotel Rio that we didn't see? And what about that one worker whom Alucard charmed? Rated T for mild language and for violence.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,430 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/10/2009 - Alucard - Complete
Sinful Tendencies by ghibli92 reviews
For all of Father Enrico Maxwell's life, he had lived in bitterness and contempt; what was assumed was that he loved no one, and no one loved him. As most assumptions go, it was false. Who could this lover be? And why?
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,538 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/13/2009 - Enrico, Alexander - Complete
Right Here, Right Now by Clockwork Paradigm reviews
The time has come for Alucard to choose his new mate, only his choice isn't exactly consenting. How will Alucard woo his newly chosen beloved? AxAA yaoi. M to come in later chapters..
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,464 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 7/28/2009 - Published: 10/13/2008 - Alucard, Alexander
Simple Gifts by blinkblink reviews
Leon has finally tracked D down, has even received a grudging acceptance of his presence in Tokyo. It never occured to him that that might be the easy part. Sequel to The Return.
Pet Shop of Horrors - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,746 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Leon, Count D - Complete
The Return by blinkblink reviews
Two years after D's departure, Leon tracks him down to a shopping mall in Shinjuku. This was, Leon quickly realises, the easy part. What do you do when you've run your quarry to ground? Vague LeonxD.
Pet Shop of Horrors - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,086 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 10 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Complete
Lilith by Immortalis reviews
At a Masquerade celebrating the New Year, Enrico Maxwell confronts the object of his interest, Sir Integra F. W. Hellsing...
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,438 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Complete
My Child by Chronos Keeper reviews
An encounter between Bishop Enrico Maxwell and Father Alexander Anderson. The offer to go on killing and never have to stop is met with an answer that confounds Enrico Maxwell.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,606 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/4/2007 - Complete
Imperfection: Goldilocks and the Three Bears by Crystalwren reviews
Gonzoverse. Integra is snowbound in the mountains, trapped with five monsters and only one of these isn't human. Some NC and a very dark Walter.
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,353 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/15/2006 - Published: 10/27/2006 - Complete
Breaking the Beast by Woof reviews
For every tale a beginning. Ten years after a fateful cold November evening in Transylvania, Abraham Van Helsing copes with the dangerous prisoner in his basement... (My first Hellsing fic. Criticism greatly appreciated.)
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Supernatural - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,058 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 5/27/2005 - Published: 4/30/2005
Exorcist by BlueMew reviews
“I have only been following God’s orders. I am merely a humble servant with a gift, like all of the rest of my comrades in Section Thirteen.” Manga-based, AU, EnricoIscariot-centric.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,130 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/18/2005 - Published: 1/18/2005
Contesting Results by Hellsing Legion reviews
We, the autonomous collective legion, present for your delight and titillation, 35 Hellsing ficlets of various and sundry themes, pairings and characters. Click and be entertained.
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 35 - Words: 19,687 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/3/2004
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The Substance of his House reviews
"Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned..."
Hellsing - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 36,260 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/31/2012 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Alexander, Enrico
Mercy reviews
In toxicity, Iscariot reigns supreme- An black comedy of pathology, gratuitous dysfunction and bizarre liaisons. WARNING: Slash, multipairings...
Hellsing - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,671 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/8/2011 - Published: 3/27/2010 - Enrico, Alexander