arelisinwonder
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Joined 07-27-08, id: 1648558, Profile Updated: 07-09-09
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

I'm keeping this short. I tend to ramble. I live in rainy, hot Florida. I was born in Puerto Rico. I think I look exotic. I love to write. I love to read. I love the beach. I have an obsession with ice cream. I own a lot of books. I have an Ipod named Orange Crush (its orange). I think I'm funny, I have a very friendly smile and an attitude (I'm short, short people have attitudes)Anyways, enjoy my profile! ;P

Oh, and by the way...The Angel of my dreams was nominated for the Indie Twific Awards. =D

18 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity~

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Drugs".
7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!

Somethings to think about...

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours? (Left, right or both?)

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway. (Hmm...?)

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commercials that says "Not available in all states"?

If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say "no"? (Interesting...)

Do they bury people with their braces on? (Yikes I hope not.)

Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?(haha...Good question.)

Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don't taste or smell anything like it (I know, it always smells like medicine to me.)

What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup? (There's fancy ketcup?)

Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions? (Is there?)

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?(It fits better?)

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?(Go look, I dare you.)

How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?

If laughter is the best medicine, who's the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?

Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?

Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.

Can a short person "talk down" to a taller person?

Why are they called 'Jolly Ranchers'? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?

If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning? (Because there winning.)

Why is it called a funny bone, when if you hit it, it's not funny at all? (Not funny at all)

Do you yawn in your sleep? (I wonder...)

Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Do you wake up or open your eyes first? (I...haven't thought of that.)

Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if they're English? (Ha!)

What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?

Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck? (Gets me all the time.)

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles? (Haha.)

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? (hmm...)

At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his ass? (when they invented toilet paper?)

Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes? (wedgies?)

Where do people in Hell tell other people to go? ( Interesting...)

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Persuasion by CarribbeanLady reviews
Isabella Swan is living in 1918 Washington State until she decides to run away to Chicago where she meets the Masen's. Mrs. Masen is afraid her head strong son, Edward, is headed to war so Bella takes it upon herself to get him to stay.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 60,395 - Reviews: 691 - Favs: 754 - Follows: 349 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Midnight Mansion by CarribbeanLady reviews
Bella Swan is a new girl in the dreary town of Forks. While biking with her friend Angela she stumbles across an old white mansion in the middle of forest. Although the house looks harmless from the outside, the occupants are far from innocent.Dark!Edward
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 14 - Words: 72,986 - Reviews: 660 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 415 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
For the love of a King by magan bagan reviews
Bella Swan was leading a pretty normal life. A couple months shy of her eighteenth birthday, she learns her parents made a deal with the king of England. Now she's forced to move there and to meet the prince, Edward Cullen. What's his secret? All human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 101,806 - Reviews: 3206 - Favs: 4,674 - Follows: 3,475 - Updated: 12/31/2011 - Published: 10/14/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Vampire in the Basement by michellephants reviews
While hunting one afternoon, the boys stumble upon what appears to be a corpse. When they learn it's a severely broken vampire, they take him home to do what they can to help. But of course, fate has plans for this man. Canon Couples. AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 164,189 - Reviews: 11472 - Favs: 9,028 - Follows: 6,578 - Updated: 10/30/2011 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Subject: Edward Cullen, aka The Womanizer by ericastwilight reviews
Edward's family hire Bella Swan to break the heartbreaker's heart in hopes to have him see the error of his womanizing ways. But she falls hard, too, at the risk of breaking her own heart when the truth is revealed. EXB-AH-OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 43 - Words: 328,966 - Reviews: 9473 - Favs: 8,307 - Follows: 5,697 - Updated: 9/2/2011 - Published: 10/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Changing Sides by EclipsedbyJacob reviews
REWRITTEN! Bella works for the Volturi as Chief Interrogator. When she meets the mysterious Cullens everything changes. BxE eventually!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Suspense - Chapters: 18 - Words: 66,072 - Reviews: 375 - Favs: 438 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 1/27/2011 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sweet Relief by Miss Snazzy reviews
Bella couldn’t take the pain anymore and decided to kill herself. But what will happen when she fails and sees Edward at school the following day? Will that be enough to prevent another attempt? Rated for dark themes. AU for New Moon. Slightly OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 77,087 - Reviews: 1088 - Favs: 411 - Follows: 502 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 5/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Honeymoons Over by JustForkIt reviews
What happens when the honeymoons over and you have to start dealing with life? Edward and Bella learn that being married isn't always easy and crazy MIL's dont just go away.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 98,955 - Reviews: 1490 - Favs: 1,513 - Follows: 707 - Updated: 1/20/2010 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Matter What by NanMcCullen reviews
What will happen when Edward Cullen, heir to the Cullen fortune meets lower middle class, scholarship recipient Bella Swan? Cross-over between Twilight and Love Story. All Human/AU. Rated M for language, adult themes, and later lemons. *ON HIATUS*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 17 - Words: 74,649 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 1/15/2009 - Bella, Edward
Save You by socact reviews
Edward is a brilliant, troubled doctor who uses medicine to escape his past, until he meets a beautiful patient whose mysterious, debilitating disease challenges everything he knows about life and death. Can he save her? Can she save him? AH, ExB, Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 102,109 - Reviews: 1547 - Favs: 1,533 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Complete
Going Down? by gemmabobella reviews
submission for ninapolitan's cocktease contest Edward and Bella pairing. Sometimes all you need is a push in the right direction, or to be trapped in an elevator with a beautiful stranger AUAH
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,864 - Reviews: 442 - Favs: 769 - Follows: 380 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 2/19/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
I Love To Hate You by An End Has A Start reviews
He loves her. She hates him. He’s trying to win her over but in the screwed up world that is highschool things are never that simple. ExB All Human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 117,156 - Reviews: 3237 - Favs: 1,646 - Follows: 755 - Updated: 4/14/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Labour of Devotion by Rosette-Cullen reviews
A collab between Kitschisme and Rosette-cullen Isabella Swan has lived as a servant her entire life. She has come to expect cruelty from her masters, but will her luck change when she is purchased by the mysterious, brooding millionaire Edward Cullen?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 22 - Words: 61,006 - Reviews: 2740 - Favs: 2,165 - Follows: 1,306 - Updated: 3/26/2009 - Published: 10/23/2008 - Complete
When We Drove All Night by smellyia reviews
He watched and was there whenever she needed him and she thought he was something while he knew she was everything. She was brilliant, wrong and perfect. AU-Human, OOC. Based on a boy. ExB
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,972 - Reviews: 529 - Favs: 813 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 2/19/2009 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Complete
Chastity Child by technically a lie reviews
The rest of the night was a blur of clothing being removed and skin. She tasted sweet and moist, like fruit. I should have known then, that I would fall for her. Edward Cullen realizes he's fallen for his long time sex-friend Bella Swan. All Human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 20,080 - Reviews: 1330 - Favs: 1,221 - Follows: 852 - Updated: 2/5/2009 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Cotton Tail by ms.mutiny reviews
Set in the 19th century. Bella is captured and taken to a brothel that belongs to the Cullen family. AU, OOC, vampires. Edward/Bella. Please review so I know whether to post more. 'I cringed as his finger stroked my neck. It was as cold as ice. “So pure."
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 39,135 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 715 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 12/7/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Campus Liaisons by Isabel0329 reviews
Bella Swan starts her first semester as an English professor with just the right thing – a one night stand. But what happens when that one night stand shows up in the most unexpected place? All-human, OOC. Rated M for language and sex.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,079 - Reviews: 2678 - Favs: 3,603 - Follows: 1,680 - Updated: 11/7/2008 - Published: 8/22/2008 - Bella - Complete
From Innocence to Experience by Thallium81 reviews
Bella was perfectly content with life in Forks until she lost her best friend Alice. Now a dark figure lurks in the shadows. Bella suspects that Edward knows more than he is letting on, but how can she solve the mystery if he keeps avoiding her? AU/Canon
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 101,274 - Reviews: 1760 - Favs: 1,887 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 10/10/2008 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Secret OneShot by Twilighter620 reviews
For Jayeliwood's Sexy Eddie Contest. Edward is Lieutenant-Detective Edward Anthony Masen and he's hopelessly in love with his boss' daughter...journalist, Bella Swan. On the night of one of Seattle's deadliest storms their secret passion unravels.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,781 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 255 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 10/3/2008 - Published: 9/21/2008 - Complete
Do Fish Get Thirsty? by XxBanditQueenxX reviews
Threequel" to 'Always' and 'Winter of Our Discontent.' Follow along as Bella and Edward continue down their twisted path, picking up a couple miracles along the way. M to be safe.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 24,683 - Reviews: 432 - Favs: 221 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 9/28/2008 - Published: 7/25/2008
A World Without Sound by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
AU, BxE. My name is Bella Swan; good at sign language and karate. My best friend is deaf, and you know what? It doesn't matter. Won twice at Twilight Awards, and has been nominated more. Please review!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 105,849 - Reviews: 7654 - Favs: 8,999 - Follows: 2,542 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 6/1/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Summer of my Soldier by Emmeline Rose reviews
It is the year 1939, and life is perfect for the newlywedded Edward and Bella. Too perfect. When World War II breaks out and a draft calls Edward into duty, their lives are shattered. What will Bella do when Edward's letters suddenly come to an end?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,834 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
April, 1912 by Haley Cullen reviews
AU. Bella is a normal seventeen year old girl, living in the early 1900's. But when her parents want to drag her back to America, in none other than the Titanic, what will fate bring? One hint: A bronze haired angel. E&B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 47,159 - Reviews: 1006 - Favs: 643 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 9/2/2008 - Published: 11/19/2007 - Complete
Once Upon A Time by Chaotic Streams reviews
This story takes place when Bella is 5, and meets Edward. He almost kills her, and takes it upon himself to take care of her.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,158 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 8/22/2008 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Truth Universally Acknowledged by TriciaMacMillan reviews
Bella feels both strangely attracted to and repulsed by the standoffish boy who sits next to her in English. She and her best friend, Alice, are looking for love, and they refuse to settle for anything less. ExB, JxA. A modern 'Pride and Prejudice.'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 21,898 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 88 - Updated: 8/8/2008 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Pomme De Sang by Aspirenauthoress reviews
A more grown up Breaking Dawn. Bella and Edward become closer as the wedding nears. When she's finally changed she gains a power that helps her feed. Mixing themes from the Hamilton Vampire series. Not a crossover, AU. Very Mature, be warned!
Crossover - Twilight & Vampires - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 27 - Words: 124,109 - Reviews: 1555 - Favs: 1,119 - Follows: 981 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 4/2/2008 - Bella
A Heart's Savior by newfoundlove reviews
AU/Human. A blustery night in Chicago, Bella was saved from an attack by a handsome stranger, a stranger with his own issues, a broken heart. Can Bella take down the walls he so expertly crafted? BxE, RxE, JxA. Rated M for sexual themes and strong lang.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 62,446 - Reviews: 1393 - Favs: 3,907 - Follows: 864 - Updated: 7/11/2008 - Published: 2/27/2008 - Complete
A Little Bit of Love by ebtwisty9 reviews
A selfish prince turned into a vampire as punishment, a charming girl full of life and kindness. When fate brings the two together, love sparks and a hope for salvation is born. ExB, Beauty and the Beast crossover.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,422 - Reviews: 525 - Favs: 672 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 3/30/2008 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
A rite of passage by caracol reviews
AU All Human. Bella and Edward are best friends. A story of self discovery and the loss of innocence. This story is about how two people deal with sex, love, trust, friendship all while growing up. Very OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 35,392 - Reviews: 1166 - Favs: 2,967 - Follows: 667 - Updated: 3/13/2008 - Published: 2/20/2008 - Complete
Love in Affliction by Saiyachick reviews
-:-1895 England-:-Edward Cullen has always been a ladies man, but after seeing his late father's will, he must choose a bride before his eighteenth birthday otherwise his betrothal to the heinous Duchess of West Essex will be activated.-:-AU-:-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 44,810 - Reviews: 2305 - Favs: 3,327 - Follows: 934 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Sleeping Beauty by ebtwisty9 reviews
It's Sleeping Beauty all over again, but the third faerie gave her gift before the evil one came. Bella is destined to die at age 16. Could Edward save her in time? ExB story
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 54,947 - Reviews: 598 - Favs: 480 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 6/15/2007 - Published: 2/24/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Angel of my dreams reviews
Hey,Do I know you?"She asked me.She seemed to be speaking too someone behind me.I turned my head slightly to see who she spoke to but saw no one.I turned my gaze back to hers,she was watching me curiously.I had to be sure,"You can see me?" BXE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 21 - Words: 43,070 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 4/19/2009 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Bella, Edward