Introducing Yer Ever Lovin’ Aunty Binary….

Author of the Post-Hagaren FMA novellas “Fifty Trips Around the Sun”, “Beggar’s Banquet” (nearing completion), “Three Decembers and a January” ,“You and Me of the 10,000 Wars”, "Paint The Sky With Stars" and Half Lives

Super-Secret Identity: The Binary Alchemist—fanfic author, songwriter, lyricist, filk singer and comedian and honorary Amestrian State Alchemist who sows chaos and bad puns and horrible songs whenever she and her musical co-conspirators invade a con. Takes the blame--er--full responsiblity for the creation of “FullMENTAL Alchemist: The Musical!” and the mini-operetta, "The Revenge of the Miniskirt Army".

Weapons of Choice: Dell PC’s, Ovation and Epiphone 6 and 12 string guitars

PROUD MEMBER OF THE HAGAREN NATION!

THIS SIDE OF THE GATEWAY
(FILK LYRICS BY THE BINARY ALCHEMIST--MUSIC IS 'FOLSOM PRISION BLUES" BY JOHNNY CASH)

Spoken: “Hello…I’m Edward Elric!”

When I was just a young boy
Pinako said to me:
”Stick to your Crayolas, Ed

Don’t mess with alchemy

Now, I’m stuck outside the Gateway

I feel like such a fool

I am homesick for the Rockbells

Back home in Riesembool

Now, Winry is my best friend
She’s quite a clever wench

Don’t get on her bad side

Or she’ll conk you with that wrench

I left her in Amestris

And ran away with Al—

But sometimes when my arm squeaks

I really miss that gal!

Though Mustang’s been demoted

He’s still full of smirk and sass

If he starts to get sarcastic

Just say, “Corporal, kiss my—AUTOMAIL!

We ditched him back in Central

He’s gotta close that Gate—

Tho’ I still wanna punch his lights out—

I guess I’ll have to wait!

I can’t transmute in Munich

Japan or in LA

At least I’m not down on my knees

Chalkin’ out arrays

They made manga from my memoirs—

Now I’m a wealthy man

At least on this side of the Gateway

Al’s not stuck in the can!