BinaryTales
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Joined 07-29-08, id: 1651220, Profile Updated: 09-07-10
Author has written 27 stories for Fullmetal Alchemist, and Yuri!!! on Ice.

Introducing Yer Ever Lovin’ Aunty Binary….

Author of the Post-Hagaren FMA novellas “Fifty Trips Around the Sun”, “Beggar’s Banquet” (nearing completion), “Three Decembers and a January” ,“You and Me of the 10,000 Wars”, "Paint The Sky With Stars" and Half Lives

Super-Secret Identity: The Binary Alchemist—fanfic author, songwriter, lyricist, filk singer and comedian and honorary Amestrian State Alchemist who sows chaos and bad puns and horrible songs whenever she and her musical co-conspirators invade a con. Takes the blame--er--full responsiblity for the creation of “FullMENTAL Alchemist: The Musical!” and the mini-operetta, "The Revenge of the Miniskirt Army".

Weapons of Choice: Dell PC’s, Ovation and Epiphone 6 and 12 string guitars

PROUD MEMBER OF THE HAGAREN NATION!

THIS SIDE OF THE GATEWAY
(FILK LYRICS BY THE BINARY ALCHEMIST--MUSIC IS 'FOLSOM PRISION BLUES" BY JOHNNY CASH)

Spoken: “Hello…I’m Edward Elric!”

When I was just a young boy
Pinako said to me:
”Stick to your Crayolas, Ed

Don’t mess with alchemy

Now, I’m stuck outside the Gateway

I feel like such a fool

I am homesick for the Rockbells

Back home in Riesembool

Now, Winry is my best friend
She’s quite a clever wench

Don’t get on her bad side

Or she’ll conk you with that wrench

I left her in Amestris

And ran away with Al—

But sometimes when my arm squeaks

I really miss that gal!

Though Mustang’s been demoted

He’s still full of smirk and sass

If he starts to get sarcastic

Just say, “Corporal, kiss my—AUTOMAIL!

We ditched him back in Central

He’s gotta close that Gate—

Tho’ I still wanna punch his lights out—

I guess I’ll have to wait!

I can’t transmute in Munich

Japan or in LA

At least I’m not down on my knees

Chalkin’ out arrays

They made manga from my memoirs—

Now I’m a wealthy man

At least on this side of the Gateway

Al’s not stuck in the can!

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DEJA VU ALL OVER AGAIN (YURI ON ICE) reviews
"Contrary to popular rumor, I have scruples. And unlike my rival on the ice, Chris Giacometti, I don't generally have to send out a scouting party to find them." Viktor and Yuuri barely lived down the scandal of last year's Grand Prix banquet...but history has a bad habit of repeating itself...
Yuri!!! on Ice - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,063 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 2/4/2017 - Published: 1/14/2017 - Yuuri K., Viktor N., Yuri P., Christophe G.
HOLIDAY SPECIAL: ICEHOLES (AN FMAYURI ON ICE CRACK CROSSOVER-yaoi) reviews
As the holiday season approaches, Semeopolis Mayor Roy Mustang has found that his biggest headache is matching wits with the only politician more charming (and devious) than he is: Chairman of the Arts Commission Viktor Nikiforov—a foreign import with hot looks, a hot husband, a knack for cheerful blackmail and a capacity for holding liquor rivaling that of a small brewery...
Crossover - Fullmetal Alchemist & Yuri!!! on Ice - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,355 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Published: 12/20/2016
STRAIGHT AND NARROW: A 520 DAY TALE OF LOVE AND STUPIDITY reviews
On the tropical island of Ranamuerte, Ed and Roy's search for evidence of ancient alchemy comes to a screeching halt when they accidentally stumble into seminar at their resort led by a famous reality tv personality and therapist who claims he can 'cure' men of The Love That Dares Not Speak Its Name...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,448 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/20/2016
ROY MUSTANG AND THE CURSE OF THE REDBACK'S REVENGE reviews
Some stories are too embarassing to be included in Roy's official biography. This is one of them, when a moment of poor judgement on a dark night led to a humiliating accident Ed would never let him forget...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,097 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/9/2016 - Published: 10/15/2014
POE TASTE IN LITERATURE: A 520 DAY CRACKFIC reviews
There are two reasons that Edward and Roy were willing to risk humiliation by performing a dramatic reading of a famous Gothic poem: to raise money for charity, and to save themselves from bodily harm if they failed to show up. Roy and Ed give a 'raven' the bird in this one-shot comedy for 5/20 day
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,507 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/19/2015
HALF LIVES 4: PRIVATE LIVES (THE MUSTANG FILES) reviews
Roy Mustang: Soldier. Alchemist. Statesman. Ambassador. World Traveler-or so the history books have called him. But as Roy would say, "there are the truths you'll read in the library-and then there are the REAL truths I'll tell you late at night over a bottle of whiskey. Shall I pour you a drink?"
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,005 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 3/13/2015 - Published: 3/5/2015
HALF LIVES 3: OUR LIVES reviews
: Roy and Ed have been together for 15 years now—Roy prepares to fulfill his 520-cenz promise to make Amestris a democracy, but just before Roy's 50th birthday and his wedding to Edward a tell-all biography about Mustang is published that sets the country on its ear-because the 'truth' about the Promised Day is about to come out, with Roy cast as the evil genius behind it all
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 49 - Words: 179,961 - Reviews: 273 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 2/28/2015 - Published: 6/30/2012 - Roy M., Edward E.
OF PIGS AND POETRY (A 520 DAY TALE--YAOI) reviews
Another anniversary of driving each other crazy-for Roy and Ed, love may be real-but it sure as heck isn't poetic or pretty, since men-and alchemists-can be pigs sometimes...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,994 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/20/2014 - Roy M., Edward E.
A NEW YEAR'S TALE (sequel to MIDWINTER'S TALE)--Yaoi reviews
Roy Mustang shares another tale from his biography about the worst holiday ever, spent in the war zone with a drunk and lovesick Hughes who seems determined to protect his old lover Mustang from the perils of booze, loose women and other delights...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,229 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/1/2014 - Roy M., Maes H.
HOLIDAY SPECIAL: A MIDWINTER'S TALE (YAOI) reviews
On a lonely Solstice night, Alphonse cheers Roy up with a challenge: "You've never told me about the men in your life. What about Brother? What about Hughes?" And the best stories begin with the words, "...there I was..."
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,555 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 12/15/2013 - Roy M., Edward E., Alphonse E., Maes H.
LOVE (AND ALL THAT OTHER CRAP): A ROYED 520 DAY SPECIAL reviews
A sharp tongued, sarcastic and strangely affectionate note from Ed to Roy, absent once again on their anniversary...and another, more personal challenge is issued regarding the long ago loan of 520 cenz...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/19/2013 - Roy M. - Complete
HALF LIVES 2: WHOLE LIVES reviews
Once Edward watched his lover Mustang fall into madness avenging the death of Hughes. Now Ed vows to help Roy heal at last-but Roy's challenge is harder: coping with Ed's kids!
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 38 - Words: 147,170 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 11/10/2010 - Roy M., Edward E.
WHOLE LIVES SPECIAL:A YEAR FROM THIS NIGHT reviews
A 'What if?" tale takes us 20 years ahead, when Roy's Presidential Address to Parliament will forever change Amestris-and his life with Ed
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,353 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/24/2011 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
SCARECROW reviews
Roy Mustang has disappeared after being seen drinking in an out of the way watering hole in Central. Now the only hope of finding him forces those who love him to face up to certain truths that have been whispered about Roy since the death of Maes Hughe
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,278 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/9/2011 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
HALF LIVES Holiday Special: CEASE FIRE reviews
Ed and Winry have started separate lives-Ed with Roy in Central, Winry in Rush Valley. In wartime, the guns grow silent on Solstice Eve. It is a time of truce, if not peace. It is a time to declare a cease fire-at least for one night...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,686 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/3/2011 - Published: 12/30/2010 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
HALF LIVES reviews
Years have passed since the manga's end-life in Resembool has not gone well and Ed has the scars to prove it, seeking healing and refuge in his work at Central Command…but Roy Mustang refuses to see Ed suffer any longer...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 98,948 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 11/7/2010 - Published: 7/11/2010 - Edward E., Roy M.
Fullmetal Windows With Edo Interface reviews
It’s 21st Century Earth—and Taisa Roy Mustang is having a hell of a time living with a lover who thinks he’s from another world—and whose manga “memoirs” have made Ed a Pop Icon and cartoon hero. Prologue to the novella, “Fifty Trips Around the Sun”
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,586 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/4/2010 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
Bring Me To Life a sequel to Only Us reviews
Edward…I refuse to believe you can’t feel this me from the other side of the Gate. You have melted the snow out of my bones, and tomorrow I will have to bare myself to the knives of the wind in hopes that it will cut away this desire you’ve kindled in me
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,016 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/4/2010 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
Colonel Mustang and the Mohel reviews
A Fullmetal Tale your Yenta won't tell you--a very personal injury sends Roy limping to the local authority on...infant circumcision? YAOI humor--dedicated to my Jewish friends and family at Passover
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,575 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/30/2010 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
Eyes of the Heart: Persistance of Vision Ch 1 reviews
“I lost my eyesight-not my vision” Undeterred by blindness, Roy Mustang is determined to practice alchemy again, this time with Edward as his partner. Roy prepares to graduate from the Blind School in Central and Ed has arrived to check on his progress...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,815 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/6/2010 - Roy M., Edward E.
Eyes of the Heart reviews
The battle to save Amestris is over. For Mustang, the loss of one gift opens doors to other gifts he never anticipated--a vision he shares with Edward. Ch 102 manga spoilers "With the eyes of the heart we can see clearly"-Saint Exupery
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,335 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/12/2009 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
Edward Elric On Top,er, on Top Story Tonight! reviews
On the news show "Top Story" Ed is confronted by three raving fangirls—Winry, Rose and Noa—and defended by his mom and his teacher—over the issue of Seme/Uke marriages..and Roy Mustang. yaoi humor
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,599 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/29/2009 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
THE BEGGAR'S BANQUET reviews
Ed and Roy are finally getting married on Earth—but Envy and Gluttony scheme to turn the wedding into a funeral for the brothers and Al’s family. The Elric clan is on the run again—just as a Tringham in Amestris opens the Gateway to Earth once again…
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 115,144 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/13/2009 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
Fifty Trips Around The Sun reviews
Within the Gateway, someone has opened a rift between the worlds—and that someone is forcing Ed to choose between the younger Roy he has loved so long on Earth--and a lonely Colonel in the solitude of Brigg’s Mountain...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 87,886 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 9/22/2008 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Roy M., Edward E.
THE MAN WHO LOVED AMESTRIS: THE VACANT CHAIR reviews
“It’s a soldier’s honor to die for Amestris. Mae’s death left me fearless-nothing to live for, nothing to lose. But now that Ed and I aren’t at each other’s throats, have found this spark between us, I’m not ready to consign my life to the history books”
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,475 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Roy M., Edward E.
The Boy Who Loved Rockets : Stille Nacht reviews
“Every Xmas eve, I light a candle to the memory of a boy who loved rockets, loved his Fatherland—and loved a crippled madman who was convinced he came from another world. ‘Don’t forget me,’ Alfons told me. I didn’t. I can’t…”
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,154 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/15/2008 - Edward E., A. Heidrich - Complete
Skullduggery reviews
On the Earth side, Roy’s mom is dead—and Ed's got a problem: smuggling her ashes into Roy's family crypt after mother and illegitimate son were disinherited. Will this posthumous family reunion land the lovers in a Japanese jail?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,815 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete