Beth Einspanier
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 02-03-02, id: 165165
Author has written 34 stories for Men In Black, Discworld, Sherlock Holmes, CSI, X-overs, Book X-overs, Half-Life, Naruto, Metroid, Team Fortress 2, Alice in Wonderland, Twilight, Harry Potter, Avengers, Eversion, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Marvel, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Cthulhu Mythos, and Portal.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and the Invincible TechnoMage by Clell65619 reviews
Harry Potter and the Marvel Universe. 5 year old Harry accompanies the Dursleys on a Business trip to Stark International, where an industrial accident kills all of Harry's living relatives. A very different Harry goes to Hogwarts. Dating, Romance, noship
Crossover - Harry Potter & Ironman - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 182,779 - Reviews: 5350 - Favs: 9,730 - Follows: 11,808 - Updated: 1/19 - Published: 12/7/2007 - Harry P., A. E. Stark/Tony
Harry Potter and the Natural 20 by Sir Poley reviews
Milo, a genre-savvy D&D Wizard and Adventurer Extraordinaire is forced to attend Hogwarts, and soon finds himself plunged into a new adventure of magic, mad old Wizards, metagaming, misunderstandings, and munchkinry. Updates Fridays.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Dungeons and Dragons - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 72 - Words: 301,307 - Reviews: 5448 - Favs: 4,371 - Follows: 5,021 - Updated: 2/27/2015 - Published: 5/7/2012
Forward by Peptuck reviews
Following the Miranda broadwave, there's only one direction for Malcolm Reynolds and his crew to go. Part Nine: Wrath: Cornered on Persephone, River faces both the dark products of the Academy, and her own inner demons. Post-BDM, Series.
Firefly - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 78 - Words: 508,921 - Reviews: 1704 - Favs: 1,354 - Follows: 1,185 - Updated: 5/4/2013 - Published: 2/27/2008 - River
A Stolen Moment by Ace of Fours reviews
Lemony-delicious oneshot. Set during 'The Escape,' human!Wheatley. After Wheatley injures himself getting to the template turret, Chell discovers his deep-seated self esteem issues and finds a way to make him understand how important he is to her.
Portal - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,781 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 20 - Published: 2/21/2012 - Chell, Wheatley - Complete
The Last Light by TwinEnigma reviews
The Eleventh Doctor and Amy Pond visit Sagittarius Zero and have a strange encounter with a woman in white. Please read all warnings before reading. Edit: author's note trimmed
Crossover - Doctor Who & Sailor Moon - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,852 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/26/2010 - Amelia P./Amy, 11th Doctor, Sailor Cosmos - Complete
The importance of index cards by A.A. Pessimal reviews
Following a magical accident at the Library, Sergeant A.E. Pessimal of the Watch is sent to where nobody has ever returned alive. Can Pessimal become the first to return from the grip of a denizen of the Dungeon Dimensions? Apologies to H.P. Lovecraft...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,035 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Complete
Sailor Hellblazer by RpM1 reviews
A Sailor Moon/John Constantine: Hellblazer crossover. Co-written with David Tai. Gemma Masters was destined to become a Sailor Scout. But then Destiny ran headfirst into John Constantine first.
Vertigo - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,432 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 22 - Published: 5/4/2001
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Temptation reviews
Tony Stark finds himself advising JARVIS about his new girlfriend. JARVIS' new girlfriend, that is. Movie-verse Iron Man. Rated T for innuendo and colorful technological metaphors.
Crossover - Marvel & Portal - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,112 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/29/2015
Reader's Block reviews
Death sometimes has trouble coming up with new reading material. Perhaps a nice spy novel will help...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 448 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/25/2015 - Albert, Death - Complete
Static Cling reviews
Skye is looking for Agent Simmons, but finds something unexpectedly cute. Spoilers for episode 1x06, "FZZZT".
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 397 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 12 - Published: 11/12/2013 - Skye/Daisy, J. Simmons, L. Fitz - Complete
Happy Endings reviews
A newly resurrected Severus Snape finds himself in a post-War world where everything has apparently been made right, thanks to a new Ravenclaw student. However, something about this happy ending feels horribly wrong...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,601 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 10/8/2013 - Published: 8/30/2012 - Severus S., Lily Evans P.
Touched by a Valkyrie reviews
Agent Coulson has a very strange encounter between this world and the next.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 884 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/25/2013 - Complete
Eversion Quest reviews
When Princess Nehema is kidnapped by supernatural forces, it falls to Zachariah Turnbull, student in the eldritch art of eversion, to journey into Fairy and rescue her. But the deeper he goes, the less he can trust his senses. Will he find her in time, or be consumed by madness?
Eversion - Rated: T - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,961 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/6/2013
Valkyrie reviews
Loki escapes from a place worse than hell, and finds himself in the custody of Pepper Potts. Will they be safe in the Avengers' Tower from the fate that stalks him, or will SHIELD be too late to save either of them? Rated T for safety. Might go up later.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Drama/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,166 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/5/2013 - Published: 12/21/2012 - Loki, Pepper P.
Wizard's First Rule of Marketing reviews
Ponder's niece is about to learn the true secret of
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 702 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/24/2013 - Complete
The Gathering reviews
Loki goes to a gathering of people like him, a place where he might be able to open up and be himself, but is in for a surprise. ONE-SHOT.
Avengers - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 795 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/20/2012 - Loki - Complete
Twilight: Revamped reviews
Bella Swan is sent to live with her father in Forks after her mother remarries, but she discovers that this sleepy town in the Pacific Northwest is home to many dark secrets lurking in the shadows...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,833 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Bella
Lost and Found reviews
The Mad Hatter has an unexpected guest, but she is dreadfully lost and needs his help to find herself. Mostly fluff.
Alice in Wonderland - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,586 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Alice, Mad Hatter/Hatta - Complete
Quiet Desperation reviews
It is the year 1881, in a world of madness and terror. One retired army doctor, plunged into the thick of the eldritch horrors that rule the world, is about to find a refuge of logic, and hopefully a means to restoring human superiority.
Crossover - Sherlock Holmes & Cthulhu Mythos - Rated: M - English - Horror/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,062 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/5/2010 - Published: 2/8/2010
The Only Family We Have reviews
When it looks like another Christmas will pass without any gifts for Pyro, one of his teammates reaches out in a gesture of friendship. Reviews welcome!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 978 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 14 - Published: 1/8/2010 - Pyro, Scout - Complete
Watchmen in Black reviews
The result of an idle mind, too much caffeine, and an overall feeling of "What would happen if..." Agents J and L of the MiB hunt a shapeshifting alien in Ankh-Morpork, and enlist the help of the Watch. Naturally, things don't go smoothly. Revised!
Crossover - Men In Black & Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,314 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/18/2009 - Published: 2/3/2002 - Complete
Metroid: The One Free Man reviews
Samus is hired by a mysterious agent to find someone called the One Free Man, while Gordon Freeman finds himself battling strange alien parasites in one of the new colonies. Can the two put aside their distrust and work towards a common goal? R&R!
Crossover - Metroid & Half-Life - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,420 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 7/12/2009 - Published: 5/1/2009
Half Life: Anomaly reviews
Gordon Freeman, smooth operator.
Half-Life - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 452 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Complete
HalfLife: The Movie reviews
On May 16, 2009, the Black Mesa Research facility was caught in a resonance cascade event during a routine experiment. What happened during the Black Mesa incident can finally be told... *experimental* Please review! Chapter 6 now up!
Half-Life - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 6 - Words: 30,967 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/24/2009 - Published: 10/29/2008
Solitude reviews
Shikamaru thinks he wants to be alone after the death of his sensei, but Temari has other ideas. Shika/Tema, companion to "What You Need". Spoilers and character death.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 649 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Shikamaru N., Temari - Complete
What You Need reviews
Kurenai is an emotional wreck after the death of her lover, and she turns to Kakashi for comfort. But how can he give her what she needs when she doesn't even know herself? Light Kaka/Kure. Asu/Kure. Spoilers. Rated T for safety.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,259 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Kakashi H., Kurenai Y. - Complete
Little Matchmakers reviews
While helping his injured teammate Hinata, Shino must face his growing feelings for her. If only his kikai would butt out... ShinoHina.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,951 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/6/2008 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Shino A., Hinata H. - Complete
Half Life: Flash Point reviews
Alyx invites Gordon to spar with her in the training room, but he might have other things in mind... One-shot.
Half-Life - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,387 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Complete
Half Life: Gravity reviews
A brief vignette taking place between Half Life 2: Episode 2 and the upcoming Episode 3. Episode 2 spoilers. Alyx can't keep up her brave Resistance Fighter face and turns to Gordon for comfort. My first HL fic.
Half-Life - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Complete
CSI: Death by Chocolate reviews
CSICharlie and the Chocolate Factory DeppMovie crossover. A young man is found in the desert, having been drowned in chocolate. Who would want him dead, and what does he have to do with a reclusive chocolatier from London?
Crossover - CSI & Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,069 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 9/3/2006 - Published: 8/20/2005 - Gil G. - Complete
The Adventure of the Melancholy Bride reviews
Victor Frankenstein is long dead, but Sherlock Holmes gets a visitor who suggests that Mary Shelley's classic horror story has not yet reached its end.
Book X-overs - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,716 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/31/2006
PostMortem reviews
Sherlock Holmes' most difficult case begins... seventy years after his own death. And he doesn't even believe in ghosts...
X-overs - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,013 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/6/2006
The Adventure of the Grasping Ghost reviews
Sherlock Holmes investigates reports of a lecherous spirit haunting a country bed-and-breakfast... and he can't quite seem to avoid a certain young woman. [FINISHED!] R&R!
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 23,221 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/5/2004 - Published: 11/28/2003
The Detective and the Diplomat reviews
Two mysteries. Two of the greatest minds in the multiverse. One variable. Oh bugger... Sherlock Holmes - Discworld crossover FINISHED!
Crossover - Discworld & Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,796 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/14/2003 - Published: 2/13/2003
Disc Wars Episode 6 reviews
The conclusion of the famed Disc Wars trilogy; Darth Vetinari has a new and more dangerous weapon - but can our heroes find the man who can stop it before the Empire does? [FINISHED!] R&R!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 41,277 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 8 - Updated: 8/31/2003 - Published: 11/21/2002
Such a Simple Case reviews
Holmes finds himself puzzling over a string of burglaries... and over the victim of one of them. [FINISHED!] R&R
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 21,504 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/11/2002 - Published: 7/14/2002
Disc Wars Episode 5 reviews
The continuation of part one of the middle trilogy of a parody of a sci-fi epic! Now, in actual chapters! [Finished!] R&R, please.
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,066 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/16/2002 - Published: 6/1/2002
Chance Encounter: a vignette reviews
Sometimes the short answer says more than the long answer...
Sherlock Holmes - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,444 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/11/2002
Sea of Troubles reviews
UPDATED! [slightly] Have fixed problem with footnotes. A strange woman with unusual powers is being hunted by Something Very Bad. Who is she? Can she defeat her enemy? And... why Ponder?!
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,673 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/8/2002
Disc Wars - Episode 4 reviews
Okay, picture George Lucas' best-known science fiction epic. Add the settings and characters of the Discworld. Season with humorous references to taste. Serves one website. [Was in Crossovers.]
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 28,001 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 13 - Published: 2/9/2002
A Real Pain in the Neck reviews
Lancre - the country where six impossible things can happen to you before breakfast. Even so, getting beheaded can be really annoying, even if you're already dead...
Discworld - Rated: K - English - Supernatural/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 555 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Published: 2/6/2002