Mc Parrot
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Joined 07-30-08, id: 1651654, Profile Updated: 03-13-11
Author has written 23 stories for Torchwood, X-Files, and Hawaii Five-0.

Time to tell you a little about me.

I haven't written FF for years, used to do X Files stuff back in the day - about season six I got obsessed and it took over my life for a while. Back then that was fine, I was a mum at home with small kids and it was a life saver.

Now - hmm, I'm self employed, working from home and really can't afford to get as carried away. However, when I found Torchwood I had that falling in love like being hit over the head sort of feeling.

When I joined here I said I was temporarily giving in and giving myself one story and after that we would see - well you saw. I obviously couldn't stop at one story.

I also posted 2 of my X Flies stories here where they have been welcomed.

I like angsty stories and until I found FF never knew that there were others out there who felt the same. I would love to hear from someone with some psych knowledge, just what the story is behind liking to feel a character you love cry. BTW, living with someone with depression really really is NO fun in real life, but in fiction... Weird

Some basic facts - I live in New Zealand, have had stories in my head all my life and have finally got to a place in my life where I legitimately can call myself a writer. I am editor and publisher of a national sports magazine and in some ways my life has never been better.

Fan Fiction is just so exhillarating to write - I think because you can forget the rules of writing for an audience and just go for it for the sheer joy of it. That being said I still try to maintain the craft of story telling. Not having to waste time on background is good, you can get straight into it.

I have been working on a piece of my own fiction for years, but realised when I started getting into this current story that I haven't enjoyed writing this much in years. Hopefully when I've finished this I can carry some of this enthusiasm into my other work. - hasn't happened yet, just found more Torchwood inspired stuff to write.

Updated April 2010 - yes my original writing is going very well thank you very much as my fanfic writing has backed off because of it. I am well on track to having a novel that can be published.

Updated March 2011. Still working on that original fic. Nearly got it to finished first draft. I have an LJ account as well btw, for anyone who cares. There are links there on my masterlist to some of my more porny and cracky offerings that haven't made it on here. The only unfinished fic I have left is Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder, and that may never be done. I have a vague idea for a post S2 fic in the Family History universe using Manda again. I haven't got a plot for it yet, and some sort of plot is sort of essentia.

currently writing Torchwood and have placed Woodcreek and Utu (both X Files) here as well. To the person that wanted a warning on Utu, sorry no. That story is an artifact of its time. It was written nearly 15 years ago when no one warned for anything other than slash. In fact it took me a while to work out what you were even talking about, I couldn't remember that much about it. Sorry if it upsets anyone but it is a nearly forgotten piece of my past. And my characterisation of characters, as always is my take on things. I reserve the right to make them whatever I think they might be.

Thanks for reading my stories.



MPreg Rant

This forum seems to be having a rash of MPreg stories at the moment, I even wrote one myself not very long ago (Weta). Some are good and some are not so good, but I feel I have to correct a few things, say something because some things I'm reading just annoy the hell out of me.

Number one, stories, however implausible and far out - from Star Trek through the Alien movies to Torchwood have to have you suspend belief easily. ie an idea has to be believable. Jack is believably immortal because we are willing to believe that time vortexs may exist and one girl desperate to do good may have inadvertantly made one man unable to die. We are willing to believe this because a clever group of story tellers helped us understand how it could happen.

You need a good reason to make something happen. Jack and Ianto having sex is NOT a good reason for Ianto to become pregnant. It is just wrong and silly. However, if you wanted to make some alien intervention get involved, or discover that Ianto is really a hermaphrodite (human or otherwise) yes, you could run with that story. But you need to tell me how it happened. Men do not become pregnant by anal sex.

Likewise, due to clever storytelling in episode one, we can believe that Jack may be able to become pregnant. Personally I do not believe it would be a natural pregnancy and something that would just happen. I would like to commend Helen Pattskyn and AnnaLouise86 for recognising that and giving us realistic views of how such an event may have come about.

Number two, male pregnancy, regardless of futuristic technology would not be easy on the male body. Men just are not designed for and I can't see how they could possibly evolve for child rearing. Any pregnancy would be very hard on the man and possibly very dangerous.

Number three and closely following on from the first two points is that even though this isn't a realistic scenario, it must be portrayed as such, it must seem medically plausible. IF male pregnancy were possible, he would not carry his artificial womb in his arse! Yes I was being crude. It would not work. It would be knocked off the wall before it could begin to grow. It also needs to be somewhere where it can grow without constriction, any pressure in your bowel and intestines is agonising, just think of your last bout of constipation to imagine that. I envisage that an artificial womb could be implanted in his abdomen, or the fetus could implant in the bowel wall - but on the outside of the wall. It would have to be artificially inserted and artificially removed - ie a csection. He could not become pregnant by anal sex, the sperm wouldn't get to anywhere near where it would need to go.

In that case he can't miscarry as such. He can't bleed from anywhere you can see, although bleeding into the abdomen and associated pain, weakness and illness from blood loss would all work.

Yes he would probably have terrible morning sickness, not to mention nearly everything listed as a complication of pregnancy on Wiki. None of his hormones would be right and you would need to add female hormones some way to keep the baby alive and his body from rejecting it. You could have your clever womb release them at the right time. You could have real angsty fun with all the potential complications, although personally I don't want to think of Jack and hemorrhoids in the same sentence. He would also I imagine have real pain from what is essentially a large and growing foreign body in an abdomen that isn't designed for it.

MPreg rant over for now. I may have other rants to add later.


Seriously thinking about a how not to write male/male sex rant? Would anyone be interested?

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Manifest Destiny by Bekah26 reviews
Ianto Jones knows everything, including the fact that there are certainties in his life. Lineage is only a part of that. UPDATED!
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 29,011 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 334 - Updated: 6/22/2011 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Ianto J.
No Greater Gift by blucougar57 reviews
Whilst training the two newest members of his team, Jack Harkness is confronted by a stunning revelation from a past that he doesn't remember. Sequel to "Another World".
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 30 - Words: 134,627 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 1/9/2011 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
Cardiff 2135 AD Complete! by Tylluan reviews
Jack is running Torchwood Cardiff in the 22nd century. What happens when an alien invasion causes enough damage to threaten that which he holds most dear?
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 98 - Words: 174,125 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 2/5/2010 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Jack H. - Complete
Gravitational Potential by Galadriel1010 reviews
Jack is a broken man when the Doctor finds him again, and only one thing will help him heal. Of course, nothing in Jack's life is ever as easy or as benevolent as it seems.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 25 - Words: 64,052 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 12/1/2009 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Scared by notmanos reviews
An alien lifeform pops up just as violent incidents plague the city. It claims to know Jack, and says he's responsible for it, but he doesn't recall it at all. When it takes one of the Torchwood team, he has no choice but to figure out what it wants.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Horror - Chapters: 20 - Words: 65,498 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
DON'T LOOK NOW by deetatarant reviews
Follows on immdediately after RESOLUTIONS. Ianto recieves some rather disconcerting photographs. NEED TO READ 'RESOLUTIONS' FIRST.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,388 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Ianto J., Jack H.
Four Times Jack Stopped and One Time He Didn't by butterfly.cell reviews
Since the moment he hired her, Jack has felt an almost magnetic pull to Gwen. He's never acted upon it, but after the losses of Owen and Tosh, will his resolve break? - Jack/Gwen moments but showing the evolution of the Jack/Ianto relationship
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,781 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Jack H. - Complete
Notes On The Torchwood Archives by SqutternutBosh reviews
Based on Jack's notes from the Torchwood Archives book. Dialogue only. UPDATED- Part one sees Andy confront Gwen about happenings in Cardiff, part 2 sees Ianto and Gwen discuss Jack's innuendo-laden attempt at poetry... COMPLETE.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 16,081 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/28/2009 - Published: 1/18/2009 - Complete
The Uninvited by b-w-williams reviews
A simple accident leads to something far more complicated. And far more troublesome. Warning for language, slash and some mild violence. J/I also I/OMC later on.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 24 - Words: 58,448 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Janus and Hestia by Helen Pattskyn reviews
AU Future. COMPLETE Jack, Kam and the crew of the Bonny Welshman are heading into unhcarted territory to salvage a lost ship....
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 67,938 - Reviews: 208 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 1/30/2009 - Published: 12/13/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
The Holiday Spirit by HanuuEshe reviews
Nothing says Christmas like a trip through the Rift. Written for a challenge over at tw ficexchange, the prompt was Jack/Gwen/Ianto, angst, and Christmas.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,173 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 9 - Published: 1/6/2009 - Jack H. - Complete
Something Unpredictable by AnnaLouise86 reviews
Jack/Ianto. Jack finds himself with a 51st century predicament in a 21st century world. Warning: Mpreg. WORK IN PROGRESS.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 29,390 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 3/29/2008
Sixteen miles to the Promised Land by BlackEyedGirl reviews
He walks forward, quick steps, and gets so close Jack can only see his feet in their white shoes. “What did you do?” Jack coughs and sees the blood in his hand. “Nice to see you too.” Crossover with DW, spoilers for TW S2. Apocafic with Jack, Owen and Ten
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,095 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 23 - Published: 11/12/2008 - Jack H., Owen H. - Complete
filing for dummies by riftactivity reviews
Owen/Ianto little funny stories pre-series. Suzie, Tosh and Jack play along
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,248 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/22/2008 - Published: 8/12/2008
Back Home by RoadrunnerGER reviews
Jack’s gone to find his Doctor and Ianto is trying to cope. Janto, what else... LOL
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,890 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 28 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Complete
Another World by blucougar57 reviews
A rash of inexplicable murders leads to a clash of cultures when a secretive agency moves in on NYPD territory, and Bobby Goren finds he may well have met his match in the mysterious Captain Jack Harkness...
Law and Order: CI - Rated: T - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,023 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 6/5/2008 - Published: 12/1/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts reviews
Damaged and grieving Steve has to fight his own limitations to rebuild his life. Assuming a new identity he literally sails off into the sunset. Years after leaving Hawaii he is at peace and happy with his life when he has a surprise meeting with someone from his past.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 33,408 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/6/2013 - Steve M. - Complete
It Was Thursday reviews
Danny's heart leapt as with no warning, Steve drew his weapon and proceeded to shoot the crap out of the laptop and the desk it was sitting on, screaming blue murder.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 23,535 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/17/2013 - Steve M., Danny W. - Complete
Be Careful What You Wish For reviews
Sometimes you work really hard to make something happen, only to discover it's not really what you wanted (except sometimes it turns out that it is). The intel Cath had gathered on parenthood was not only woefully inaccurate, it was hugely, misleadingly wrong. Catherine/Steve/Danny
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,596 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2012 - Catherine R.
Sense Memory reviews
Danny takes Steve home to feed and care for him after Doris' plane leaves. Angsty, angsty, angst. Steve whump.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,754 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/9/2012 - Steve M., Danny W. - Complete
Tac Vest reviews
Shooting things and blowing things up gets Steve excited. When Steve's excited, Danny's excited, it's just a shame it has to wait till they get home to do something about it.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,053 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Danny W., Steve M. - Complete
Choose Your Friends reviews
The look on Steve's face is going to break his heart. Missing scene ep 1.09 - takes place right after Steve kills Nick Taylor.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,486 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Steve M., Danny W. - Complete
Guided Missile reviews
Missing scene Ep 2.01. Steve is primed and targeted and he's not stopping until he's hit his target or crashed and burned.
Hawaii Five-0 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,431 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 6/27/2012 - Steve M., Danny W. - Complete
Something Bad Had Happened reviews
Ianto woke up knowing something bad had happened. It just didn't make sense because when he'd woken up knowing that, he'd thought it had happened to Jack not himself.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Horror/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,105 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/13/2011 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Ianto J., Jack H. - Complete
Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder reviews
Last time Ianto Jones was a woman, he was a beautiful woman. This time he looks just like himself, but with different parts. It's all a bit traumatic.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 27,868 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 1/16/2011 - Published: 4/29/2010 - Ianto J., Jack H.
Family History reviews
The skeletons in Manda Carlisle nee Harkness family closet turn out to be alive, impossible as that may seem. Jack and Ianto take a trip to a cottage in Cornwall that holds special memories for Jack.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,573 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/29/2009 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Tuesday Night Date Night reviews
Tuesday nights for takeways and sex had become the thing they did. They both knew it had nothing to do with love.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,215 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Ianto J., Toshiko S./Tosh - Complete
Live Till Morning reviews
Another take on what happened to Ianto after Countricide. Industrial strength angst. Does not fit with my "Home" series of stories
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,829 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Ianto J. - Complete
Hand on my Head and a Hole in my Heart reviews
An illness reminds Ianto of a time when Tosh comforted him
Torchwood - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,300 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/18/2009 - Ianto J., Toshiko S./Tosh - Complete
If the Answer is Ianto Jones, What is the Question reviews
PWP. Dark. Jack finds his newest employee very surprising. He's just not quite sure if that is a good thing. NOT fluffy, not romantic, not sweet. Be warned.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,424 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/11/2009 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Happy December Jack reviews
I’m afraid because the years I’ve had someone special, someone close to me,’ Jack looked up at Ianto with a face of terror. ‘They die at this time of the year.’ Ianto's determined to change things this year. Angst and fluff and M for a reason. Now complet
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 29,555 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/27/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Coming Home From Hell Part 2 reviews
When Jack came home from the year that never was his ex partner John murdered him by throwing him off a building. Although he revived from the death his body was too exhausted, too run down and too traumatised to heal completely.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,455 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Jack H., Ianto J. - Complete
Coming Home from Hell reviews
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang post ep. Jack's been through a hell of a bad time recently. He just wanted to quietly come home but John Hart, his psychopathic ex upsets that idea. It's the homecoming from hell. Major Jack angst.
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,601 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/5/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
Weta reviews
An attack by an insectoid alien causes Jack great distress and causes one of his deepest secrets to be revealed. Early S2 Jack/Ianto. Warning! non consensual slashy sex.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,331 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/21/2008 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Jack H. - Complete
Home Coming Home part 2 reviews
Ianto slowly heals from his wounds following Breacon Beacons. He is helped by Tosh and Jack. It is more than just physical wounds he had to recover from. Janto Angst/hurt/comfort/romance
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,185 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 4 - Published: 9/12/2008 - Complete
Nightmares of Immortality reviews
Not being able to die could drive you mad. Being mad for all eternity is not an option.
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 11 - Words: 55,838 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/2/2008 - Published: 8/2/2008 - Complete
Coming Home reviews
Ianto desperately wanted to lie down, his body needed him to lie down. But there was no room. Countrycide post ep
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,804 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/17/2008 - Complete
Wood Creek reviews
Mulder comes down with chickenpox on assignment. Of course there are always complications, in this case cannibals. Mulder torture extreme but with extremely sappy ending.
X-Files - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 33,591 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 15 - Published: 8/7/2008 - F. Mulder, D. Scully - Complete
Utu reviews
Mulder takes Scully to NZ on holiday, but of course they can't keep away from trouble. Mulder gets injured, solves a murder case and finally gets around to telling Scully about his worst secret. Not the holiday he planned. Warning: discussion of rape.
X-Files - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 107,043 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/7/2008 - F. Mulder, D. Scully - Complete