paranoia'SPLASH
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Joined 08-11-08, id: 1663535, Profile Updated: 02-12-10
Author has written 14 stories for Twilight.

And so it begins...

My nickname is Dee. The nickname for my nickname is Jinx. You can call me whichever.

15 Random Things About Me

1) I forgive people in 24 hours and rarely get mad.
2) Drama tends to confuzzle me.
3) I get high on sugar very frequently.
4) I will watch anything if forced to do so. This is how I discovered James Bond.
5) I thought Twilight was better before all the hype.
6) Flames make me happy. They just do.
7) If you piss me off, which really is quite an amazing feat as it is, I will kill you with politeness.
8) I still can't believe I'm now FF friends with authors I used to swoon over.
9) I tweet too much and talk too little.
10) I'm an avid user of Gimp, which I learnt by myself. (yes, I'm very proud of that last fact)
11) I can't play poker because my poker face sucks horrible ass.
12) I curse too much.
13) I'm horribly random-I just don't scream out boooooobbbsss every chance I get. coughs
14) I admire those French croupiers with twirly mustaches and poker faces.
15) I have discovered that in order to get something, all you usually have to do is ask.


I have a sort-of beta, TRDancer.

Go read Merevaik's List of Fanfiction Concerns and the awesomesauce that is Kräppi Dei. Then pay homage to her and her Estonian goodness.

Peer pressure works. I have a Twitter. Watch me ramble in 140 characters there. Tweet tweet.


UPDATE 12 FEB
IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT

Well, that got your attention, didn't it?

I AM LEAVING FANFICTION.

You read that right. I'm leaving the fanfiction community. My stories might or might not get deleted, but I have made backup copies of them and if you ever feel like rereading them, you can PM me-I will be checking my PMs and whatnot.

The reason behind my leaving?

The Literate Union.

You may have heard of this, you may not. Basically, it's a group of people who have made it their mission to report and flame every story in Fanfiction that does not meet their lofty standards and/or violate the TOS. I can find a million and one reasons why the Literate Union sickens me, but I shall keep it concise-I don't want to stay on Fanfiction anymore if this is what FFn is going to become. I think I may set up a LJ account for me to post freely, but right now just looking at the controversy and drama on fanfiction makes me feel horrible.

Right now, if you're a writer, the best advice I can give you is to leave while you can. If you're a reader, I apologize for leaving my stories here and hopefully you'll sleep in peace knowing that I am going to keep writing, regardless of whatever happens.

I may or may not return to fanfiction, depending on what happens and whether the staff takes action. For now, you can PM me or catch me on Twitter. I promise I will reply.

To my readers, here's to a happy Valentine's Day.

To the Literate Union, fuck you.


Brittany - Zee - Priya - Bookie - Chip - LA - Freya - Michelle - Lei - Ariel

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

GYNAZOLE by Mrs.TheKing reviews
Bella has to fill an embarrassing prescription. Mr. Cullen is the pharmacist there to greet her. Rated M for every reason my twisted mind can come up with. ExB God help us if there is a lemon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,442 - Reviews: 10381 - Favs: 2,815 - Follows: 2,373 - Updated: 2/27 - Published: 1/20/2010 - Bella, Edward
Dear Bella Swan, you're Playing with the Big Boys by Dobber17 reviews
All Human. One day in gym class, Forks High learns that Bella Swan can kick. The football team needs a kicker. The result of that: Bella makes the football team. The problem: None of the guys want a girl on their team. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 99,377 - Reviews: 1350 - Favs: 1,243 - Follows: 1,320 - Updated: 1/6/2014 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Complete
Unforgivable Act by Irritable Grizzzly reviews
While writing at her favorite coffee house, Bella encounters Edward & it's hate at first sight, but Edward is persistent. Bella decides to trust him, but there's a small catch. There are a couple of things she considers "unforgivable acts"...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 37,360 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 371 - Follows: 420 - Updated: 3/2/2013 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sound Of Salvation by An End Has A Start reviews
Edward is a hostage negotiator with one hell of a night ahead of him. Bella is a hostage trapped inside a mall. They're both relying on each other to bring the ordeal to an end. All Human. ExB.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 31,518 - Reviews: 427 - Favs: 410 - Follows: 590 - Updated: 4/22/2011 - Published: 8/3/2009 - Edward, Bella
Mary, Full of Grace by Elise Montgomery reviews
At one point everyone in Biloxi knew the story of Mary Alice Brandon... This is the story of the girl Alice Cullen used to be. Pre-Twilight, Canon.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 52,567 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 3/8/2011 - Published: 8/30/2009 - Alice
Edward the Sugar Queen by Nina Windia reviews
Edward is a sugar addicted seventeen-year old who thinks he is a vampire. He is in love with Charlie Swan, who drives in the town's supply of sugar every week. But when Bella arrives, she decides to destroy their relationship and take Edward for her own.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 32,462 - Reviews: 350 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 12/23/2010 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Edward, Charlie S. - Complete
Détruit by Somah reviews
"It's all real. They did this, but I'm still here, always, Bella. Find me." Those cryptic words, whispered in a last breath, continue to haunt Bella Swan five years after the supposed death of her love, Edward Masen. AH-AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 101,210 - Reviews: 1590 - Favs: 2,069 - Follows: 1,383 - Updated: 11/3/2010 - Published: 4/1/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Tips for Better Living by adorablecullens reviews
Edward is a self-centered college drop-out, waiting on tables and living an empty life. Redemeption arrives in the guise of a quirky customer who offers him some much-needed advice for happiness. Does Edward have the character to rise to the challenge?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 52,342 - Reviews: 3249 - Favs: 2,826 - Follows: 1,883 - Updated: 10/28/2010 - Published: 3/4/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
I Don't Know You, But I Think I Love You by TwilightSagaLover543 reviews
Edward is the conceited football quarterback, while Bella is the smart, pretty girl. But the thing is - they hate each other. when the school sets up a PEN PALS website, and some interesting people get paired up, what will happen? BXE
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 42,983 - Reviews: 1695 - Favs: 806 - Follows: 883 - Updated: 8/31/2010 - Published: 10/28/2008 - Bella, Edward
Summer Girl by TRDancer reviews
Bella has always thought that her future was set in stone, but could one defining party and one gorgeous boy change everything? AU/AH. Continuation of the one-shot written for the "Off the Page" Contest.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,637 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 6/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
In the Days of Auld Lang Syne: Fix You by Feisty Y. Beden reviews
Reeling from traumatic events in high school, Alice hid away a part of her soul. Can Jasper help her find it again, when she didn't know she was looking? Story is rated M for language. A/J, AH, OOC. Part of larger series *In the Days of Auld Lang Syne*
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 28 - Words: 110,346 - Reviews: 651 - Favs: 214 - Follows: 117 - Updated: 5/14/2010 - Published: 2/24/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Blue by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
1930. "I don't want to fight." He whispered. "Too much of a pacifist?" He looked up into my eyes. "Too in love with you." Torn apart by their faith, Alice is sent to a Nazi camp and Jasper is forced to guard her. Can their love survive the odds? AH/AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 282 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 4/6/2010 - Published: 6/12/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Always Charmed by Dalia907 reviews
Bella and Jasper quickly become inseparable after a chance pairing in a secret Santa exchange at six years old. Life, love and a failing heart aren’t enough to keep them apart. AH, OCC. Entry in the “For The Love Of Jasper” Contest.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,617 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 12/20/2009 - Published: 9/10/2009 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
The Emperors of Washington by gallantcorkscrews reviews
Edward is a killer. But it can't be explained away by his vampire nature. He's just a sociopathic, human teenager. CAN I MAKE A LOVE STORY OUT OF THIS? ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 36,778 - Reviews: 2552 - Favs: 1,817 - Follows: 1,055 - Updated: 12/4/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Mirrors by adorablecullens reviews
Teddy's secret and magical childhood is lost when a family heirloom is destroyed, changing his life forever. Now an adult, can Edward open himself back up to magic and love when he meets a beautiful - and hauntingly familiar - woman in real life?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 93,498 - Reviews: 4066 - Favs: 3,886 - Follows: 1,244 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
No Sleep for the Wicked by justaskalice reviews
Bella has been with Jacob for four years and everyone thinks they have the perfect relationship. Their friends and family expect an engagement any day, but Bella is having second thoughts. A story about old love, new love, and friendship. Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 79,382 - Reviews: 423 - Favs: 457 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Bella - Complete
The Doll House by Kambria Rain reviews
We were all going to die. I used to be an optimistic person, but that went out the window as soon as the hot mountain man decided we were going to hunt the hunters. AH. Warning: So far, there are minor character deaths, and Edward's a little scary.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 15 - Words: 43,019 - Reviews: 1295 - Favs: 1,499 - Follows: 444 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 5/15/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Only You by Annilaia reviews
Alice never believed in coincidence. Ten years ago the ouija board spelled out the name of her 'true love', she's been waiting for him ever since.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,501 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 12/4/2008 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Amputated at the Neck by Minisinoo reviews
An empath's thoughts about a telepath. Jasper's private concerns regarding Edward and Bella as they race towards marriage.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 375 - Follows: 34 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Unforgiven reviews
Bella, the orphan violinist with a strange past, and Edward, the pianist with a murky family background. Suffering in silence is best when nobody cares. AH, canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,357 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 9/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Start To The End reviews
Six people, all with different beginnings. Rosalie, Edward, Esme, Alice, Carlisle, Jasper. This is the start to the end.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,873 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 10/24/2009
PS, Your Mom Is Hot reviews
A series of drabbles originally intended for the Twilight Twenty-five, but I forgot to enter and missed it completely. Rating might change.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 843 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 1/30/2010
Playgirl Meets Womanizer reviews
Calling all Playerwards. There's a new chick in town, and her name is Bella Swan. Word is she's a playgirl, and she's got the hots for our resident boy toy. Canon couples, AH.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 26,356 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Falling Down and Getting Up II : Black Rose reviews
Sequel to Falling Down & Getting Up. Marie is now Bella to the Cullens and is trying to win Edward back. Of course, nothing is complete without a certain girl named Lauren poking her nose around, but when girl number 3 comes in, everyone's ready to blow.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 28,661 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 3/8/2009 - Bella, Edward
TLC : The Last Contribution reviews
omg, lyk eddie and bela have tyme togetha and peple wnt to intrfer! omg, im sorry i sck at summris! Plz reviw!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 518 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Complete
From Me To You reviews
Edward and Bella are together. The problem is, Edward doesn't seem to care about Bella for reasons only he knows.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,681 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Published: 1/23/2010 - Complete
A Very Cullen Christmas reviews
Tis the season to be jolly. Santa would do well to remember that when Emmett visits his house, along with the rest of the Cullens. "Santa? Oh, the graying guy with a potbelly?"
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/24/2009 - Published: 12/18/2009
The Three Old Men reviews
Turns Aro, Caius and Marcus into the grumpy old men they could have been. Cute one shot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/2/2009 - Aro
Smile On Me reviews
Twoshot. Edward and Bella visit Graceland Cemetery of Chicago, Illinois.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,224 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Bella, Elizabeth
My Gypsy Fortuneteller reviews
ONESHOT. Jasper and Alice meet at a tattoo parlour in Brooklyn, New York.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,179 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/9/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Vulnerable reviews
After all the times Edward's comforted and helped Bella, it's finally Bella's turn to help Edward find himself again. Takes place after Jacob's and Bella's kiss before the fight in Eclipse. ONESHOT.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,133 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/23/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
More Than Meets The Eye reviews
Bella chose Jacob but vanishes soon after. Edward never gave up looking for her. Years later he stumbles upon a vampire who just might not be one. When said vampire happens to be involved with the Volturi, what happens if vampires fall in love twice? R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 10,454 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Falling Down and Getting Up reviews
When Bella Swan leaves Forks, she returns as Marie Swan, cousin of Bella, and is dragged into a relationship with Edward, Bella's best friend who abandoned her when Bella needed him most. Complete. AH/AU. Canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 52,653 - Reviews: 542 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 3/7/2009 - Published: 9/20/2008 - Complete