Demotivators (most from despair, inc., a few from anonymous):

Change: It's never to late to turn over a new leaf, unless you're really really old and close to the end. Then yeah, it's probably to late.

Alignment: Good...Bad...I'm the girl with the gun.

Procrastination:Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

Despair: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black.

Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions but there are A Lot of inquisitive idiots.

Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile but it takes none to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Insanity: It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially if you're insane.

Accomplishments: You can fool all of the people all of the time is your effects budget is large enough.

Achievement: You can do anything you set your mind to when have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor.

Adversity: That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable.

Agony: Not all pain is gain.

Ambition: The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly.

American Healthcare: As good as ever.

Apathy: If we don't take care of the customer, maybe they'll stop bugging us.

Arrogance: The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too.

Blogging: Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few.

Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Goals: It's best to stay out of the way of a competitive jerk and his goals.

Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to other people.

Motivation: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Perseverance: The courage to ignore the obvious wisdom in turning back.

Priorities: Hundreds of years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or what kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I did something so baffingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.

Push-Up Bra: It's like a bag of chips. You open it and it's half empty.

Retirement: Because you've given so much of yourself to the company that you don't have anything else we can use.

Shoot for the Moon: Even if you miss you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.

Surprise Endings: Whether or not it's happily ever after depends entirely on which side of the date you ask.

Synergy: A code word lazy people use when they want you to do all the work.

Teamwork: Ensuring that your hard work can always be ruined by someone else's incompetence.

Tradition: Doing stupid things since 1876 is no reason to continue doing stupid things.

Underachievement: Because soaring with the eagles requires so much more effort.

Unique: Just because you are unique does not mean you are useful.

Worth: Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important.

Story Updates (8/25/13):

Active Stories:

Blue Jeans and a Sledgehammer

When Pride Goeth

The Truth About Muggles

The Best Friends

Bad Boys

To Bare Witness

Death Eaters and Benadryl

Author Updates:

(8/25/13) Demotivators updated.