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Joined 08-19-08, id: 1671674, Profile Updated: 02-19-09
Author has written 1 story for Midnighters.

Hola peeps! My names Melissa (last name unknown) I love to read and write! Seriously like to the point were it's not even funny anymore (even though it is). Now I could(key word) keep telling you about myself (because you know I've told you so much) but I think I'll get on to bold print then write down things that make me laugh (because that's more fun)

My name: Melissa (I know my last name but I'm not helping out any Internet predators)

My age: I don't know why I put this here because I'm not telling you but I guess it's interesting to read all the exscuses :)

Favorite books: Midinghters, Twilight, Maximum Ride, Harry Potter, Gone, I think I have some others but my attention span isn't that great at 9:30 in the morning so moving on!

Favorite music: I'm not very good on artists names but I love listening to the radio (96.5 listen to it!) Broadway music espeacially Wicked (omg I love that show!) and I just got Taylor Swifts new CD Fearless (LISTEN TO IT!) I don't think there's a song on there I don't like :) I mentioned the radio right? Oh and whatever is on my Ipod.

Favorite things to do: Um Read, write, be with my friends, play outside, read, write, sing and dance, be sarcastic in a nonpurposefully funny way, pretend I know how to fluently speak Spanish! Read, write, listen to music, sing with my music, OMG dance in the rain! (its so much fun!) read write, daydream, make sock puppet videos (don't ask unless you want to know!) and did I mention reading and writting?

Things I may want to do when I'm older: Become a teacher, or become an actress (I know big gap just let Me dream!)

Words my friends would describe me as (even though I'm not my firends): dramatic (big one), sarcastic (a little to much, don't ask), awesome, bubbly, imaginative, Special (the good kind), wonderful, honest, truthful, believing, nice, spiff, swishy, impressive, miraculous, terrific, grand, a true friend. (Oh and one of my friends was on chat these are her words so I didn't make it up!)

Custom Profile things (as far as I know of):

If you think hate is a strong word copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know every single freaking awesome word in Taylor Swifts new CD Fearless copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think 13 is the luckiest number although others disagree copy and paste this to your profile.

If you knew governmental had 12 letters without counting on your fingers copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've even woken up way to early on a weekend copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think candy should have a larger triangle on the food pyramid copy and paste this to your profile

If your English teacher hates you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you believe in Neverland copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered who got the idea to make candy canes into the shape of a cane copy and paste this into your profile.

If you just found out like I did that Candy Canes were originally "J's" for religious purposes copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever made up a secret code for when you pass notes so even if the teacher caught you they wouldn't know what you were saying copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think you are haunted by a ghost copy and paste this to your profile.

If you make sock puppet movies copy and paste this into your profile.

If you make spoofs at 2 in the morning with your friends because your parents don't care as long as your quiet copy and pastethis into your profile.

If you dont remember your friend's real name anymore because you used a name from a book..copy and paste his to your profile.

If you've ever failed at making a house of cards and don't understand how people can make a whole city out of them copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wanted to pop Galinda's bubble because she annoys the heck out of you sometimes copy and paste this into your profile.

If your freind is a total Daylighter copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would die for your friends cause they mean the world to you copy and paste this into your profile.

If all of your friends were to jump off a bridge would you jump with them or be at the bottom to catch them. If you'd catch them copy and paste this into your profile.

made by: Melissa (last name unknown) and help by Jessica Day (Profile: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1667108/Spiffswishy)

100 Things to do when ordering a pizza by phone

1. If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.

2. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it.

3. Use CB lingo where applicable.

4. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal.

5. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."

6. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.

7. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.

8. Answer their questions with questions.

9. In your breathiest voice, tell them to cut the crap about nutrition and ask if they have something outlandishly sinful.

10. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST FREE-SPIRITED COST- EFFICIENT UKRAINIAN PUCE.

11. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.

12. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's Master of Puppets" CD.

13. Do not name the toppings you want. Rather, spell them out.

14. Put an extra edge in your voice when you say "crazy bread."

15. Stutter on the letter "p."

16. Ask for a deal available somewhere else. (e.g. If phoning Domino's, ask for a Cheeser! Cheeser!)

17. Ask what the order taker is wearing.

18. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.

19. Say hello, act stunned for five seconds, then behave as if they called you.

20. Rattle off your order with a determined air. If they ask if you would like drinks with that, panic and become disoriented.

21. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.

22. Make a list of exotic cuisines. Order them as toppings.

23. Change your accent every three seconds.

24. Order 52 pepperoni slices prepared in a fractal pattern as follows from an equation you are about to dictate. Ask if they need paper.

25. Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say "Bed-Wetters' Camp, right?"

26. Start your order with "I'd like. . . ". A little later, slap yourself and say "No, I don't."

27. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be 10.99; please pull up to the first window."

28. Rent a pizza.

29. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.

30. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.

31. Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.

32. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred."

33. Say "Are you sure this is (Pizza Place)? When they say yes, say "Well, so is this! You've got some explaining to do!" When they finally offer proof that it is, in fact, (Pizza Place), start to cry and ask, "Do you know what it's like to be lied to?"

34. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.

35. Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.

36. Imitate the order taker's voice.

37. Eliminate verbs from your speech.

38. When they say "What would you like?" say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."

39. Play a sitar in the background.

40. Say it's your anniversary and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your spouse to arrive so you can surprise him/her.

41. Amuse the order taker with little-known facts about country music.

42. Ask to see a menu.

43. Quote Carl Sandberg.

44. Say you'll be able to pay for this when the movie people call back.

45. Ask if they have any idea what is at stake with this pizza.

46. Ask what topping goes best with well-aged Chardonnay.

47. Belch directly into the mouthpiece; then tell your dog it should be ashamed.

48. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.

49. Shout "I'm through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!"

50. Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say "Where was I? Who are you?"

51. Psychoanalyze the order taker.

52. Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.

53. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting."

54. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.

55. Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.

56. Tell the order taker to tell the manager to tell his supervisor he's fired.

57. Report a petty theft to the order taker.

58. Use expletives like "Great Caesar's Ghost" and "Jesus Joseph and Mary in Tinsel Town."

59. Ask for the guy who took your order last time.

60. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."

61. Wonder aloud if you should trim those nose hairs.

62. Try to talk while drinking something.

63. Start the conversation with "My Call to (Pizza Place), Take 1, and. . . action!"

64. Ask if the pizza is organically grown.

65. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.

66. Be vague in your order.

67. When they repeat your order, say "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."

68. If using a touch-tone press 9-1-1 every 5 seconds throughout the order.

69. After ordering, say "I wonder what THIS button on the phone does." Simulate a cutoff.

70. Start the conversation by reciting today's date and saying, "This may be my last entry."

71. State your order and say that's as far as this relationship is going to get.

72. Ask if they're familiar with the term "spanking a pizza." Make up a description to go with the term. Ask that this be done to your pizza.

73. Say "Kssssssssssssssht" rather loudly into the phone. Ask if they felt that.

74. Detect the order taker's psychic aura. Use it to your advantage.

75. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.

76. Learn to play a blues riff on the harmonica. Stop talking at regular intervals to play it.

77. Ask if they would like to sample your pizza. Suggest an even trade.

78. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit can't-hack-it pimple-faced gofer.

79. Put them on hold.

80. Teach the order taker a secret code. Use the code on all subsequent orders.

81. Mumble, "There's a bomb under your seat." When asked to repeat that, say "I said 'sauce smothered with meat'."

82. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." .Hang up before they have a chance to respond.

83. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"

84. When you're given the price, say "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."

85. Haggle.

86. Order a one-inch pizza.

87. Order term life insurance.

88. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

89. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where applicable.

90. Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.

91. While on the phone, fake entering puberty. Fluctuate pitch often; act embarrassed.

92. Engage in some serious swapping.

93. Dance all around the word "pizza." Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say "Please don't mention that word."

94. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.

95. If he/she suggests a side order, ask why he/she is punishing you.

96. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.

97. Order a steamed pizza.

98. Get taker's name. Later, call exactly on the hour to say, "This is your (time of day) wake-up call, So-and-so." Hang up.

99. Offer to pay for the pizza with a public flogging.

100. If any of the above practices are rejected by the order taker, say #100. in your best pouty voice,

"Last guy let me do it."

You Know you're a Book Addict if...

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.

You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. (I did that. Oops.)

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. (like, um, magic powers, or taking a Fangish vow of silence, or trying to break Nudge's talking record)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class

You've got pictures of the characters on your iPod.

You've got a book memorized.

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days.

You've planned and prepared a seige on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad Caine is fictional)

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.(Who wouldn't??)

You check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

The problem with democracy is that some people are stupid, but the problem with dictatorships is that all dictators are stupid.

Never take life too seriously, no one comes out alive anyway

If you know Lincoln's dead, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If it is a FACT to you that GONE is the best book in the universe, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

Copy and paste this into your profile if you have a countdown to the apocalypse on your iGoogle. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, put this in your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever seen a film, TV show, or anything of the like, and can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments, copy this into your profile.

They say, "Guns don't kill people- people kill people." Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled, "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill too many people, you know?

Darth Vader- Come to the Dark Side! We have COOKIES! Luke Skywalker- Nah, the rebels have cake. Darth Vader- Ooh! Can I be a rebel, please?!

I ran with scissors… and lived!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand for Edward Cullen

One way to figure out how things work- push all the buttons!

If at first you don't succeed, cheat!

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy and paste this in your profile


You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.H.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.H.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Annoying things to do on an elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in

2) STAND silent and motionless in the
corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
and strain to yank the doors open, then
act as if you're embarrassed when they
open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a
while. Then announce in horror: "You're
one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
for a while, then announce: "I have new
socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the
emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor
with chalk and announce to the other
passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person
in the elevator, tap them on the
shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
give you a shock. Smile, and go back for

16) ASK if you can push the button for
other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say "Hi Greg,
How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
reaches to help pick it up, then scream:
"That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
and review emergency procedures and
exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Do you believe in God?

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one
and time passed quickly as each shared
various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
had to walk home alone. She wasn't
because it was a small town and she lived
few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
Diane asked God to keep her safe from

When she reached the alley, which was a
cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
man standing at the end as though he
for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
security wrapped round her, she felt as
someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
walked right past the man and arrived

The following day, she read in the
a young girl had been raped in the same
twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
that it could have been her, she began to

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
young woman, she decided to go to the

She felt she could recognize the man, so
them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to
at a lineup to see if she could identify

She agreed and immediately pointed out
she had seen in the alley the night

When the man was told he had been
immediately broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
asked if there was anything they could do

She asked if they would ask the man one

Diane was curious as to why he had not

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
two tall men walking on either side of

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
never alone. Did you know that 98 of
will not stand up for God?

Repost this as DO you believe in God? if you truly

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

15 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity. (There used to be 20...)

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".

7. Don’t use any punctuation.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"

10. Sing Along at the Opera

11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"

14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Don’t piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

I love deadlines. I like the mindless beeping sound as they go by.

Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?

People Like You

Are The


People Like ME Need


...Your multiple personalities are freaking out my imaginary friend!

We will all hopefully end up six feet under

Things To Ponder:

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If Mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

Why is cardboard called cardboard? It isn't made of cards...

When people ask you the time, why do they always point to their wrists? That's usually where I wear my watch, I didn't need you to point it out for me...

You know you live in 2008 when . . .

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of getting up and just pushing the button on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even know that you have the ability to do your job

7.) As you keep reading this list you keep nodding and smiling

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all of your friends

9.) You were to busy to notice #5 and #3

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5 and 3

11.) Now you’re laughing at your stupidity

12.) Now you’re thinking "I have to put this in my profile!"

13.) You put this in your profile because you fell for it and you know you did

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On the bag of Carrots -the ingrediants:Carrots

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

If you are overly-obsessed with reading and writing, copy this and paste it to your profile

if your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your pro

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in house wares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go"

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that says pull (or vice versa) copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile.

If you are insanely weird, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list:

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever eaten something none of your friends would try, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy and paste this in your profile

Mental Hospital Phone Menu

Hello and thank you for calling The StateMental

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2
for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you
want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be
forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which
number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the
beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss,
press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our
operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn
on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just
mess it up.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is

so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your

favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits

go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to

your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character

in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it.

Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the library, and listening to them over and over

again. Crazy is when you don’t say a thing about yourself in your fanfiction bio but instead yell random things that make you laugh.

Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you

laugh about how Edward Cullen thinks Bella is DEAD in New Moon, even though it's a very serious matter, and your sister hears

you and asks why you're laughing so loud and you tell her and she just cries about it because she thinks it's sad. Crazy is when

you headband to a slow song, or become obsessed with the song "Let it Die" by Three Days Grace because it reminds you of

Edward Cullen for some odd reason. Crazy is naming your winter jacket Mr. Puffy and your best friend naming hers Mrs. Puffy

and letting them marry for the winter. Then at the end of the winter, they both retire and divorce each other. Crazy is when you

are taking a math test and go over on ur scrap sheet of paper to work out the problem, and start drawing spirals until the

teacher goes five minutes left! Crazy is having a major arguement with your friend...and i mean major...its still going on and it

has already been a year...about which one is better: pudding or jello. Crazy is completely obsessing over Twilight and reading the

books over and over again until something in your brain snaps and starting with every little thing reminding you of Twilight and

slowly spreading to EVERYTHING. Crazy is when you try to get your English teacher to read the Twilight series because it relates

to Romeo and Juliet (no joke, I'm still trying to get her to read it). Crazy is when you get seriously offended when your retarded

friends tell you that you're stupid for reading Twilight. Crazy is when you get seriously offended when your friend says that

Edward is ugly because he's pale (I'm seriously mad at my friend for saying that). Crazy is having your sister sneak up on you

while you're dancing embarrassingly to Baby Got Back and finding out that the bathroom door WASN'T locked and she was

watching you the whole time. Crazy is conspiring with your twilight-obsessed friend (who got obsessed by you) to get another

friend who thinks twilight is stupid to read it. Crazy is when you dream of Edward every night and when you wake you cry

because he's not there. Crazy is when you punch someone in the face for insulting Alice Cullen's height then you shoot them.

Crazy is when you dream of being Max at night and Fang admits he is absolutely in love with you!

If your crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!!

Got a problem with me? Solve it.

Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe.

Can't stand me? Then sit down.

Think I've lost my head? Put it back on

98 percent of teens can walk without running into walls. If you're in the 2 percent that can't, post this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are a person who loves life, and what comes with it, put this on your profile.

If you love and I mean love to read, put this on your profile.

If you would rather read, or be outside, rather than watching t.v, put this on your profile.

If you've ever acted like a paranoid fool because you believe that fictional characters exist, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend then copy this to your profile

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever stabbed someone with a pencil/pen in a harmless way to release anger put this in your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your pro.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you solemnly swear you are up to no good copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

I love the quotes I got from somebody's profile

"Everyone’s crazy, it's just the insane ones that admit it."

"I'm not clumsy, I'm gravitationally challenged."

"I don't feel guilty. But I do feel guilty that I don't feel guilty, which is almost the same thing."

"I am a grown up. Except, grown ups don't call themselves grown ups, they call themselves adults, so maybe I'm not a grown up yet. But that's okay, you get away with more if you're a kid."

"Normal people bore me."

"The more I think about, the more I'm sure I've lost my mind. But, crazy people don't know they're crazy, so I guess I'm ok. But thinking I'm ok because I think I'm crazy is saying I don't think I'm crazy, so I may be crazy."

"Boyfriends are like a pair of shoes, you wear them until they're wore out, then you get a new pair, or go barefoot. I prefer to go barefoot."


Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost

Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive

Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away

Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down

Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will go to a concert with me

Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Hides me from the cops

Best Friend: is probably the reason they’re after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public

Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself to

30 percent of kids go to college. The other 70 either drop-out or don't have the proper skills to. If you're on of the 30 percent that you know you're going to go to college, copy and paste this into your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

GONE What the characters want you to know by Spiffswishy reviews
All our favorite characters from GONE Caine, Sam, Astrid, Andrew, Diana etc come togeher to Michael Grants house to speak out agianst how they were portrayed or what they wanted changed in the books! Rated TEEN for Caine's emotions
Gone - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,130 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/27/2010 - Published: 4/16/2009
Astrid's Love Issues by Spiffswishy reviews
Astrid gets hit by Caine alittle to hard and when she comes back to consciensness she's in love with.......Drake?
Gone - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/17/2010 - Published: 11/19/2008
The Great Adventures of a UnTrue Neverfairy by Spiffswishy reviews
Years ago, A baby's laugh stuck with it until 12 years later it found itself in Neverland. Part-human, part-fairy she makes it a danger to be in Pixie Hollow but with the help of Rani, Prilla and a few of her human friends she might just save the day.
Tinkerbell - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,908 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/1/2010 - Published: 2/16/2010
Coates Academy by north-north-west reviews
The FAYZ Describes by the student of Coates Academy. This follows the story of Caine before he arrives at Perdido Beach.
Gone - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,574 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 3/5/2009
Gone AIM by north-north-west reviews
What if the characters of GONE had AIM? Enjoy and please comment. Now with multiple chapters!
Gone - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,173 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 12/19/2008
You Just Lost by The Peace reviews
The midnighters play a game. Rex fails at it.
Midnighters - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,008 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2009 - Complete
Cumulatively Uncomfortable Conversations by MichiRini reviews
The Midnighters have made a pathetic attempt to get past airport security, but now they must face the long arm of the law. Rated for mild language. Oneshot. Done in an interview style, as heard by one poor, innocent tape recorder....
Midnighters - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,747 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/7/2007 - Complete
Midnighters: The Nonexistant 4th book! reviews
All together in the Big Apple, looking for new Midnighters. Then they meet a gang of midnighters who call themselves The Wanderers and meet a girl in the Blue Time who can freeze time. you know what they don't give you enough space here just read!
Midnighters - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 62,680 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 1/23/2011 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Complete