19TopazAngel18
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Joined 08-20-08, id: 1673288, Profile Updated: 09-14-09
Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.

i friggin need help with my fanfic(s)!! i need ideas!! can someone plz at least review or give me an idea bout what to write, i would be one of the happiest ppl on the face of the planet! :D

name: Daphne

nickname: Daph, Daffy, Dolphin...

grade: im a high schooler... omg! :o

age: somewhere between 1 and 100? okay...

gender: Female

eye & hair type/color: :P brown eyes that sometimes seems brownish red or amber brown depending on lighting // dark brown curly hair that goes a little past my shoulders.

peeves: um... idk... when people call me weird names... like... idk... Laffy Taffy... hahah!! XP yes... i was once called that... and i hate being called a nerd, smartie, or whatever. i dont even think im smart in school! although, i can have super stupid moments where i truly question why i'm in honor classes... haha!


well... i'd love to say hai to all my friends! thanks all of you guys for being the most awesome, funny, and random friends a girl can have! :D u guys are the best! although some of your jokes can make me want to die of either embarrassment or laughter (mostly the laughter though XD )... :P u guys are still the greatest! i can't ask for more than that! :D

well... a little more about me: i like to draw random things like manga/anime, random animals, facial features, and practically anything but plants or inanimate objects... speaking of inanimate objects, i would like the whole world to know that almost every single inanimate object hates me. according to my friend i am bella no. 3 since i trip everywhere... EVEN WHEN I GET UP FROM A CHAIR! and also if im trying to walk down a stair or a ramp and my friend says "hey, don't pull a bella!" XD XP -- bella#1 is BELLA (la duh!), my other friend is bella#2, and me, im bella#3!! recently ... i added another friend to that list though. XD lol! no one knows what im talking about! XD

if im in a certain mood, mostly sad or depressed, i can write some awesome story and not even realize that it's a story! XD hmm... other stuff... im weirdly smart in school.. even though i have no idea why... im not a nerd... okay?! but i am a vampire! XD


oh well.. XD lol! so... up for some randomness? then keep on reading! XD but better stuff is after all this copy/paste stuff. got prolly half of this stuff from lizzyvamp1901. XD

If you've ever burst into song for no reason Copy and paste this to your profile

If you know someone that should be hit by a bus Copy and paste this to your profile

If, when you have a boy, you'll seriously consider naming him Edward...copy/paste this into your profile

If, when you have a girl, you'll seriously consider naming her Isabella...copy/paste this into your profile

If you truly believe that there is an Edward Cullen out there somewhere for you (his name doesn't have to be Edward)...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen out of a chair backwards...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign...copy/paste this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed at a part in a movie that really wasn't funny...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you've ever tried putting your hair behind your ears, and ended up poking yourself in the eye...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a mirror...copy/paste this into your profile.

If every locker you have ever had/have hates you and wouldn't/doesn't open up for you...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends are considering torturing you because you won't shut up about the Twilight series, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune...

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you think the semi-colon is completely useless, stupid, annoying and plotting to destroy the English language as we know it, put this in your pro!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever not known where you were when there was a sign right next to you, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa, paste this onto your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile.

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile

If you think the Coca-coca Puff Turky-Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings while you have no access to the heavenly substance, copy this into your profile.

If one of your best friends IS insane, copy this into your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.

If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.

If there are times where you wanna annoy people, just for the heck of it copy this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile

If you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenager grls, we're really going at one thing, staying strong.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You're just jealous because the voices in my head talk to me and not you.

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agree


I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

AACIBD is Addicted to All Cullen’s including Bella Disorder.

AV is Addicted to Vampires

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.


If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, Katie-3llen,Angelz on Edge, TempestStormBFFofMax, Aqua279, school.and.boredom.sucks, RandomCullenFanGirl1901, EdwardCullensLongLostSISTER

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever stayed up all night just to watch the sunrise, copy and paste this onto your profile.

if there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you have OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Cullen Disorder) at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

98 of teenagers have participated in underage drinking and drugs. If you're one of the 2 who hasn't, copy this into your profile wearing a smirk of pride.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, bright black stars, StormDragon666, Sasuke's 2 Child Sayuri Uchiha, silver cherryblossom, BrightRubyEyes, Crazii Kimmy Girl,Angelz on edge, boredom.and.school.sucks, RandomCullenFanGirl1901, 19TopazAngel18

98 of teenagers do drugs, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

Even when you can’t see Him, GOD is there! if you believe in GOD put this in your profile.

If you think that Emmett absolutely ROCKS, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've started having dreams featuring Twilight characters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever cried when your favorite character in a movie, T.V show, or book died, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward. Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward with your friends. Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely gorgeous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when you threaten your friends with a free trip to Italy and a vampire mafia if they don't read Twilight. Crazy is when your friend calls you crazy, you tear up a little and tell them that was the nicest thing they ever said to you. Crazy is when you trip the second you get up from your chair and when you fall onto the floor, you begin to talk to it and ask it about its day. Crazy is talking to a whole bunch of friends, seeing something pass by and then yell at the thing for passing by and then totally forget what you were talking about with your friends. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you’ve ever made faces in front of a security camera then paste this in your profile

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.

If you think the Cullens should have their own theme music :o) Copy this to your Profile

you are such a loser that you actually read all these 'If you ever blah blah blah, copy this into your profile' things, copy this into your profile

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you can't stand preppy people who talk like this: "I like, can't believe, I like, chipped my manicure!!", copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you complain that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why the heck Canadians and Americans have to spell 'colour' differently, and use different units of measurement, copy this to your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these (there's more BWHAHAHAHA!!), copy this into your profile!!

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up.

He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

"I cause cancer. Tee hee." ~ Multiple 'People'

"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?” ~ Anonymous

"My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone.” ~ Anonymous

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." ~ Anonymous

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." ~ Anonymous

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." ~ Anonymous

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." ~ Anonymous

"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." ~ Anonymous

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." ~ Anonymous

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." ~ Anonymous

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" ~ Anonymous

"Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." ~ Anonymous

"I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." ~ Anonymous

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." ~ Anonymous


list of stuff

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Girls ...
...are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry @#&!!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.


You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...

When it rains on my parade, I bust out the slip n' slide.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV (or the computer, or a book), copy this into your profile.

If you have ever been the only one to think some really stupid joke was funny, copy this into your profile.

TGWF: Thank God We're Female

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Boy, I didn't fall for you, you tripped me!

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

I DON'T SUFFER FROM INSANITY, I ENJOY EVERY FREAKIN MINUTE OF IT!

If you think normal people are boring, copy and paste this on your profile.

You don't need a reason to be happy, you only need a reason to be sad.

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegetarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say something intelligent.

4. Taxes disappear.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Michael Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reaction of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegal to wear their clothing.

Spread the Stupidity

Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in America do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the politics to describe the process of economy so: Poli in Latin meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creature.
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry

.BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!


Funny sayings, Funny Words of Wisdom

1. I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good, either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

4. Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

5. There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives.

6. Tell me what you need and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

7. Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

8. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.

9. I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

10. Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?"

11. My Reality Check bounced.

12. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.

13. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

14. You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

15. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons because, to them, you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

16. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

17. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.

18. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?

19. If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll do it for you.

20. If you can't make it good, make it LOOK good

21. The family that sticks together should bathe more often.

22. The fridge light DOES go out. Now let me out of here!!

23. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

24. I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

25. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

26. Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely

Great minds can read this!

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso .

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Smuggling Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won!, I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives,They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner."Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!


Things to do on an Elevator

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1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"

13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

15. Swat at flies that don't exist.

16. Tell people that you can see their aura.

17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

29. Hold an auction.

30. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

31. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

32. Throw a rave.

33. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not feng shwei."

34. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

35. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

36. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

37. Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

38. Have a heated debate with yourself.

39. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

40. Drum on every available surface.

41. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

42. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

43. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

44. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

45. Propose to the other passengers.

46. Challenge people to duels.

47. Sell girl scout cookies.

48. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.

49. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

50. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

51. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.

52. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

53. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

54. Shout "Food fight!"

55. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

56. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

57. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

58. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!

59. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

60. Make sushi.

61. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

62. Shave.

63. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

64. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

65. Practice your kung fu.

66. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

67. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

68. Fly a model airplane.

69. Do yoga.

70. Play the accordion

71. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

72. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

73. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

74. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

75. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.


15 things to do in Walmart.

1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9.While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11.In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"


93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, letthemusicplay, -Jessica-Bella, xxDeath's Daughterxx, Pixel Alice, Isabell the Looser, -only-real-men-sparkle-, xXSizzlingBabeXx, EdwardCullensLongLostSISTER


In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

-On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping".
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

-On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special?)
-On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap".
(And that would be how?)
-On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost".
(But, it's just a suggestion).
-On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down".
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
-On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought?...)
-On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body".
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
-On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication".
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
-On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness".
(And...I'm taking this because?)
-On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only".
(As opposed to...what?)
-On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
-On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts".
(Talk about a news flash!)
-On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts".
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
-On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly".
-On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Random Questions

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's
only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra
penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we
figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on
luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still
called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?.

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being
would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane ?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that
ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality
come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a
car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Can Bald people have Hairline fractures?

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

If you have a cold hot pocket, is it just a pocket?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?

In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?

Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?

If you pamper a cow, do you get spoiled milk?

Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?

If the FBI breaks your door down do they have to pay for it?

If they have angel food cake on earth, do they have people food cake in heaven?

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

If an African elephant comes to America, is it an African-American elephant?

If the Wicked Witch of the West melts in water... how did she ever bathe?

If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant, do they have to wear hairnets?

How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?

If there's a wheelchair-bound comedian, is it still called "stand-up"?

When the French swear do they say pardon my English?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Random Quotes

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
"I reject your reality and substitute my own." Adam Savage, Mythbusters
"Man must wait long time with mouth open for roast duck to fly in." ancient Chinese proverb
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" –Unknown
"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown
"We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box."-Unknown
Dealing with Television network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks."- Eric Sevareid
“I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for." --Jasper Carrott
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." –Unknown
"Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite
Engineering: 'How will this work?' Science:'Why will this work?' Management: 'When will this work?' Liberal Arts:'Do you want fries with that?'" –Unknown
"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." –Unknown
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein
That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning." --Rich Cook
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” – Unknown
“A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.” – Unknown
“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” – Unknown
“He who laughs last didn't get it.” – Unknown
“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown
"A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." ~Herm Albright
"Americans worship money. I have been looking for god all my life and he is right in my pocket." -Chris Rock
Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.
Confusius say: Man who eat jelly beans fart in Technicolor
"Dance my little puppets, Dance!" – God
We're on a bridge CCHHAARRLLIIEE.
We are going to Candy Mountain Cchhaarrlliiee! A land of sweets and joy... and joyness.
Oh god! They took my freaking kidney!
It's a Leoplurodon Cchhaarrlliiee. A magical Leoplurodon
"There's no such thing as a stupid question, until you ask it." -That-Guy-With-The-Glasses


Man: I would go to the end of the world for you!
Woman: But would you stay there??
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals.
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
ur parents lied. ur not special. ur just stupid.
Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head

Random Randomness

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.
Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."
"So, you're a cannibal."
"Please Note: CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED Apparently you told Santa that you have been good this year...he died laughing."

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
'It's always in the last place you look' Well DUR! Because you stop looking after you find it! HELLO!
I could tell you what happened in the first chapter of Breaking Dawn, but then I would have to kill you.
I ran with scissors, and lived!
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
"When all else fails blow shit up."
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!
"I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly"
"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."
"You say tomato...I say fuck you."
When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard" I'm always tempted to ask "Compared to what?"
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again
To put it nicely, I hope you choke
"True love is when you don't want to sleep because real life is so much better than a dream"
Suburbs are areas where they cut down trees and then name the streets after them
I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
I'm not insensitive, I just don't care
True love isn't free, but i'd pay anything to have it
real life isn't full of happily ever afters, just bursts of happiness that don't last very long
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
The world is cruel... get used to it!
Not all scars fade, not all wounds heal.
If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.
The evil gnomes poked me in the bum wit a stick.
Hope is a good thing, perhaps the best of things and no good thing ever dies, except my dog scruffy, he got hit by a car.
Welcome to the world of very scary fearies!
For those who think fearies are innocent little creatures...
Killing gnomes with sporks!
Would you like a cookie? So would I.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.

Don't take it personally.. but you smell like an ice cube
Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous; you suck.
A day without sunshine is like... night.
A rabbi, a priest, and a duck walked into a bar. The bartender looked up and said, "What is this? A joke?"
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
Behold the mighty...chihuahua?
Busy polking my neighbor with a spork. shes really old and wrinkly this is fun muahahaha
Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot
Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!
Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.
Feeding my pet old person right now...!
Hello. You have reached The Autopsy-profile. If you are already cut open, Press 1.If you are ordering a new body, Press 2.If you are ordering a cut body, Press 3.If you are picking up a body, Press 4.If you chose none of the options above, please stay on the profile. You will soon be tracked down and picked up in a nice cozy black 'sleeping-bag'.Have a nice day and thank you for choosing Autopsy-profile!
I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect!
I did what they say and chose the road less traveled... Now where the heck am I?
I do what cheerios tell me.
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
I'm a little teapot short and stout; here is my hande, here is my...other handle? Shit. now i'm a sugar bowl
I'm bartending at an AA meeting
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you! (haha just like Edward Cullen!! :D)
I'm knocking on heavens door.. voice in back round Knocking? You very nearly broke the bloody thing down!! me That wasnt my fault!! It was poor constrution... I SWEAR!! Dont look at me like that...
I'm out driving with my keys in an electrical outlet...
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
The first time I was chatting with someone online, they asked me "asl?" I tried to sound it out and got realy ticked of and started warning them because I thought they were calling me an asshole.


If at first you don't succeed, try walking around the brick wall.

You have more chance of dying by an asteroid collision than in a plane crash.

The dimensions of the Space Shuttle, one of humanities greatest achievements, were specified over 2500 years ago by a horse.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

'Never take life seriously, no one gets out alive anyway.'

'There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.'

'When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.' (Ha, like I'll die... I'll be a vampire!)

'Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?'

'Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.'

'Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.' ..

'When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.'

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again

A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.

I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash, honey; I don't live to please you.

You know, there are poor people in Africa who can’t afford sarcasm, and yet you abuse it!


Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids
do you want?

The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind
yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.

Anyone who says "Easy as taking candy from a baby"
has never tried it.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.


Signs:

Illiterate? Write for FREE HELP!

Broken guitar for sale - no strings attached.

1. He's dead Jim. Kick him if you don't believe me

2. Oh yea? If you're so smart, why don't I understand you?

3. Oh, I'm sorry, were the voices in my head bothering you?

4. I can't remember the last time I forgot something.

5. Time is the best teacher, but it kills all its students.

6. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

7. Why remember quotes when you can make them up?

Notice in a dry cleaner's window:
ANYONE LEAVING THEIR GARMENTS HERE FOR
MORE THAN 30 DAYS WILL BE DISPOSED OF..

Sign on motorway garage:
PLEASE DO NOT SMOKE NEAR OUR PETROL PUMPS...
YOUR LIFE MAY NOT BE WORTH MUCH BUT OUR PETROL IS

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT,
THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR

Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES

Sign at Norfolk farm gate:
BEWARE! I SHOOT EVERY TENTH TRESPASSER AND THE NINTH ONE HAS JUST LEFT

Sign on a famous beauty parlor window:
Don't whistle at the girl going out from here. She may be your Grandmother.

Notice in the toilet
This urinal is out of order - Kindly use the floor below.


Advice:

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him.

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

Stay away from prunes.

Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

Never try to baptize a cat.


Ways to annoy people:

Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

Ask people what gender they are.

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."

If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Speak only in a "robot" voice.

Blow your nose when some one is eating.

Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "eat away your food " !

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Name your dog "Dog."

Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Drum on every available surface.

Staple papers in the middle of the page.

Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

Set alarms for random times.

Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

only type in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

Wear a LOT of cologne.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

Never make eye contact.

Never break eye contact.

Make appointments for the 31st of September.

Invite lots of people to other people's parties.


Things you really shouldn’t say:

That shirt makes you look fat.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Gosh, why don’t you kill me already and put me out of my misery?

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

No, that does not look good on you.


THE END!! or is it?! o.O

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Breaking Dawn Edward's POV by Lyllyanna reviews
What Edward is thinking, ALL, throughout Breaking Dawn. WARNING:SOME CHAPTERS ARE RATED MA!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 38 - Words: 135,972 - Reviews: 636 - Favs: 716 - Follows: 498 - Updated: 2/7 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Edward, Bella
Kids! by VampireWannaBeXxxX reviews
Esme and Carlisle adopt! Watch how the children grow and interact and see what the world has in store for this family. All human. Rated T just in case. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 71 - Words: 106,668 - Reviews: 679 - Favs: 295 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 7/26/2014 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Carlisle, Esme
What the Hale! by Mimidearr reviews
Jasper:"I'm Bored." Alice:"Me too." Jasper:"LETS DO SOMETHING RANDOM!" Alice:"YEAH! LIKE FUZZBUCKETS RANDOM!" : Alice and Jasper said it all. But if you didnt understand... This is random stuff the Cullens do in their free time... Fuzzbuckets random stuff
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 59 - Words: 24,733 - Reviews: 520 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 7/25/2013 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Complete
Notes with Alice, Bella & The Cullens by lanna-misssunshine reviews
Who are Batman & Pigeon? Emmett is Captain Doofus? What are the Cullen's irrational fears and why oh why does Jasper have a spoon in his pocket? (Kind of weird, read the summary in the a/n inside, it gets back to BxE normal note passing after a few chapters, promise.)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 95 - Words: 111,014 - Reviews: 4393 - Favs: 794 - Follows: 470 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 10/3/2007
Vampire? No Thanks by youwerebeautiful reviews
What if you were in the Twilight Saga? For Nyala,it's nothing like Bella's story. Games of Tag with wolves, clubbbing all night with the Cullens, street racing in quiet Forks, and... wait? Getting engaged on your 18th birthday? What the hell?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 207,992 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 6/28/2013 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Edward, Jacob
My New Adopted Brother? by sultryattire reviews
Edward Anthony Masen has been alone for about 100 years. He is adopted by the Swan Family. What will happen? Can he keep his secret? R&R Disclaimer: I don't own the characters - Stephenie Meyer does. I only own the plotline. !
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 24,025 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 7/1/2012 - Published: 4/29/2009 - Bella, Edward
Big Brother Cullen Style! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
Uh oh!The Cullen let Alice watch Big Brother!Now Carlisle is Julie Chen, the wolves and the vampires are competing for food,and Emmett's dressed like Hannah Montana?What's the secret of her past Bella's struggling to cover?Who will win Big Brother Cullen?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 28,714 - Reviews: 417 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Complete
Notes Galore! by Nosuchthingashappilyeverafter reviews
What happens when you mix a very hyper Bella, a pad of paper and a pen? THIS! Baisiclly, the Cullen's start passing note instead of talking. Very random, very, very OOC. Very funny. So, please read and reveiw.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 121 - Words: 40,684 - Reviews: 2742 - Favs: 399 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 4/29/2012 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete
A Wacky High School by LolittaDeath reviews
The Cullens are going to high school again. This time the students are doing more then just fantasizing about them. What will happen when the students try to hook up with Cullens? Can they keep them at bay while hiding their identities? E&B R&E A&J R&J
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,650 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 2/14/2009
Never play truth or dare with Emmett by Until Her Heart Stops reviews
Edward leaves to go hunting for a weekend.Bella is left with Emmett and Jasper what could possibly go wrong. When Edward comes back what will Bella be like? EXB foreva!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,977 - Reviews: 164 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 4/13/2012 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Emmett, Bella - Complete
Wife SwapCullen Edition! by lovelypurplefairy reviews
What happens when Alice and Jasper sign the entire family up for Wife Swap? Post BD. All vampires, includes Nessie and Jake. Read if you want a good laugh!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,780 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 119 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 6/19/2009
Forbidden Child by sueo reviews
AU fanfic of parental!royXed and eventual royXriza. Roy Mustang's life turned into a chaos right after Lil' Ed barged into his life. How will Maes and Riza help him in his new adventure called 'fatherhood' despite of his young age?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 30 - Words: 55,447 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 12/15/2011 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Roy M., Edward E.
Carlisles Daughter by ShadowsDaughter reviews
Isabella Cullen was born 500 years ago and is roaming the earth pointlessly, that is until she finds her father in the cullens clan. **COMPLETE**
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 18,359 - Reviews: 240 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 193 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Bored of Eternity by xx-twilight7-xx reviews
The Cullens, including Bella, are bored out of their minds. There are too many random things to describe. How much fun can you get up to with the Wii, toothbrushes, llamas, evil Jasper, fake blood and much more? Canon Pairings. Extreme OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 48 - Words: 115,332 - Reviews: 1044 - Favs: 251 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 10/6/2011 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Complete
Pigtails and Toy Soldiers by Morbidly Obscure reviews
Our favorite Twilight characters are little kids, all under the age of nine. All human. ExB AxJ RxE maybe a little JxV. Fluff. Let's see what happens next. Trust me, it'll be cute. COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 34,677 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 9/24/2011 - Published: 12/27/2008 - Complete
House vs The Vampires by Ingram reviews
When Alice collapses into an unexplainable coma, the Cullen's may be forced to seek out the best doctor of diagnostic medicine in the world. And how will the irascible, misanthropic Dr House handle the angsty vampire coven? Not very well, I Imagine.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 32,607 - Reviews: 380 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 363 - Updated: 8/24/2011 - Published: 4/6/2009 - G. House, Alice
Bella Hale by JulesSC reviews
Six year old Isabella Swan was orphaned after a car crash took her parents away, and Edward and the Cullens find her. Alice decides to keep her, and Edward tries to protect her. Family drama and hilarity ensues as Bella grows up and ExB happens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 51 - Words: 386,995 - Reviews: 13323 - Favs: 8,047 - Follows: 5,993 - Updated: 7/8/2011 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Edward, Bella
Jaspers Fun with Emotions by Love Is Courage Baby reviews
Jasper changes Emmetts Emotions, and decides to see what Edward does! boys will be boys, oh wait Vampires will be Vampires! Was meant to be a one-shot, but not anymore!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,613 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Edward, Jasper
Twilight Chat Room by Hypnotized.By.Golden.Eyes reviews
The characters of Twilight chat about whatever they want. Why? Because they can!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 56,702 - Reviews: 822 - Favs: 282 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 4/13/2011 - Published: 2/19/2009
Bella Marie McCarty by k8tlynnlee reviews
Carisle Cullen is doctoring Renee Swam,a widow, who is dieing from cancer. Renee's dieing wish is for Carisle to take her baby, Bella, home with him. Will Carisle honor this wish? What will the others think? What does Bella think of the family? REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 21 - Words: 29,733 - Reviews: 359 - Favs: 243 - Follows: 190 - Updated: 3/26/2011 - Published: 7/16/2009
twilight notes of randumness! by cristel sano reviews
evil flying bunnys? and whats this bella is making jasper crazy? and what? emmett whants a vampire kitty army? who's going to help him? and why in the world is alice dressed up as a bunny with wings? well you have to read to find out!you'll luv it i'm sur
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 8,977 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/12/2011 - Published: 6/6/2008
Another Brother by AvocadoLove reviews
It was a mission of revenge. There weren't supposed to be any survivors, but Chief Hakoda couldn't bring himself to kill the Fire Nation boy. Against his better judgment, he brought him home. A Zuko joins the Water Tribe story.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 25 - Words: 198,893 - Reviews: 2896 - Favs: 3,553 - Follows: 3,254 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 7/22/2008 - Zuko, Katara
Solstice by Elizabeth Watson reviews
The Cullen family has just relocated to cloudy Vancouver, and Nessie, Jacob and the Cullen children are ready to start at another high school. But it's not long before things change more than any of them could have expected.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 26 - Words: 129,311 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 261 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 1/19/2011 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Aol Instant Messenger by writergirl94 reviews
Yes, it is another AIM chatroom with the Cullens and of course a few werewolves and some humans. So omc, fantastic 4,and some squirrels? things can get pretty crazy! Read&Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,231 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 12/1/2010 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy by LiveInTheMomentx reviews
Cullens are going to family therapy! Will the poor instructors survive their craziness find out! T for languge Rewriting!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 4,066 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/4/2010 - Published: 3/13/2009
Sex Games by Jesusrocks reviews
What happens when the Cullen kids place a bet that each couple can go a week without sex? Yeah, it's that bad. Nothing smutty but very funny. ON HOLD
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,265 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 11/2/2010 - Published: 9/3/2008 - [Bella, Edward]
An Apple a Day by Kitsune Moonstar reviews
A collection of royai stories and drabbles based on various themes from various places.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 333 - Words: 244,210 - Reviews: 546 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 10/10/2010 - Published: 6/6/2006 - Riza H., Roy M. - Complete
The Adventures of Silly Bella by JulesSC reviews
A companion to Bella Hale. The stories about little Bella that wasn't told in BH. Just mindless fluff, with very little plot. BxE friendship, as well as Cullen family bonding.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 49,210 - Reviews: 584 - Favs: 502 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 9/23/2010 - Published: 12/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Twilight Chatrooms by balletvaki reviews
Just some funny dumb conversations with the characters of twilight! hope you'll enjoy them and lol. Guaranteed to make you smile!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 35,131 - Reviews: 272 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 9/4/2008
Truth or Dare with vamps and a human! by momorocker44 reviews
What will happen when Bella gets tricked into playing truth or dare with her vampire family? You'll have to see! I know the summary is lame but plz read!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 11,536 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 9/11/2010 - Published: 6/20/2009
AIM with the Cullens by Saphirastar11 reviews
AIM with the Cullens almost all you basic characters On AIM! I suck a Summaries so you'll just have to read it ,OOC. My first FanFic! R&R! i do not own Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,152 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 9/9/2010 - Published: 2/9/2009
Halloween With The Cullens by ecbookaddict04 reviews
Halloween is drawing near and Bella is spending the week before it with Edward and his crazy siblings. Things may get out of hand and pretty crazy. Jasper has gotten on Alice's nerves. How far is too far? THE WAR IS ON...takes place during Eclipse.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 9,706 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Edward, Bella
Every 28 Days by Surviving Sheika reviews
Bella's suffering from. . .feminine issues. What will Edward do? And the rest of the Cullen family? Read and find out! Rated T to be safe!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,084 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 7/29/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Bella - Complete
The Cullens watch Twilight by just-a-crazyfanpire reviews
"Twilight. Release Date: 21 Nov. 2020. Cast: Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart. Now in theatres!" While the Cullens are watching TV, they see a strange promo. *Bella and Edward talking in the forest* "They made a movie about us?" someone screamed.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,552 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 229 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 8/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Amazing Adventures of Aro the Arotastic! by sassyblackfish reviews
A new reality TV series following our Arotastic friend with hidden cameras to truly discover the secrets of the Amazing Aro. Rated T for mention of grown-up stuff and whimsicality. Insanity is rational in an insane world. Permanent Hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 36 - Words: 64,278 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Aro
Chat by Thomas N reviews
This is formerly known as The Cullen Computers. It's an IM between the Cullens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,035 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 7/6/2010 - Published: 2/21/2009
Getting Kicked Out Of Wal Mart by readinangel reviews
When Alice get an email about what not to do in Wal Mart, she decides she wants to test them out. She brings Em, Ed, Bell, Rose, and Jazz along, and it results in choas! Warning: you will laugh. Characters mostly in cannon!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 28 - Words: 20,835 - Reviews: 1310 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Complete
Forks Again by l'ordinateur de terre reviews
After many years, the Cullen's return to Forks, to face high school--again. People hitting on the Cullens, Emmett's pranks, school dances, and any other thing that could happen in high school. POST BREAKING DAWN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,277 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 12/27/2008
Twilight Diaries by ashes and bliss reviews
The Cullens and the rest start keeping a day to day Diary...What kinda secrets have they kept?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 9,136 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 9/20/2008
Sunrise by BlueSea14 reviews
Twilight in Edward's point of view. Completed June 2010
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 42 - Words: 335,515 - Reviews: 2163 - Favs: 2,247 - Follows: 1,094 - Updated: 6/21/2010 - Published: 9/30/2006 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Like Father, Like Daughter by BloodWhiteWolf reviews
What If When Carlisle Was Changed He Had A Seven Year Old Daughter? What If Years Later Shes Changed Too? What Happens When They Meet Again In The Future? What If That Daughter Was Bella... What Happens Then? Why, ExB Of Course!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 37,819 - Reviews: 1025 - Favs: 825 - Follows: 837 - Updated: 6/19/2010 - Published: 4/15/2009 - Bella, Carlisle
A Friendly Doctor by What.happened.to.Ellie.Creed reviews
Edward Masen and Bella Swan have been best friends since birth. Their family is put into danger after their parents are murderd. A friendly doctor offers them safety, shelter and immortality, will they accept? Summary absolutely sucks. ExB AxJ EmxR T 4lan
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,552 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 6/15/2010 - Published: 2/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cullens Back at Forks after some ah many years by Annette Lee reviews
The Cullens are back at Forks again. It's been years since they left. Edward braces himself for the thoughts, Emmett is all for pranks, Jasper just wants to get away from the school, while the girls are furious at the girls at school. Post Breaking Dawn..
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 58 - Words: 93,115 - Reviews: 801 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 257 - Updated: 6/10/2010 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
Cullens Adopt a Kid by WhyFightAnEclipseWhenTheresJaz reviews
Its pretty much what the title says. Then Cullens adopt an human kid. What will happened? First fan fic so please give it a try.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 52 - Words: 65,770 - Reviews: 438 - Favs: 167 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/7/2010 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Complete
Volturi Daughter by lovexisxamazing86 reviews
BellazB08's story. just continuing. Isabella was born in the year 1917 and is Aro's daughter. She's been kept inside the castle walls all her life, but will that change when Bella and Edward meet over a period of time? *up for adoption
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,409 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 147 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Edward, Bella
Conversations with Emmett by Ranma15177 reviews
While Edward is away hunting Bella plans to spend time learning everything there is to know about Emmett, and through him more about Edward. However, Tanya comes and disrupts the bonding. Hilarity ensues! "What do you mean he was naked?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 29,546 - Reviews: 797 - Favs: 778 - Follows: 873 - Updated: 5/20/2010 - Published: 3/9/2008
Nessa by SoNoTORIouslyMe reviews
Renesmee is sick. No one knows why. Until Edward figures out the Spanish Influzna is back...and is gentic. To make it worse, there's no cure.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,251 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 5/10/2010 - Published: 11/22/2008 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob
Ten Ways to Annoy Carlisle Cullen by OoOoOoO-Paris-Falls-OoOoOoO reviews
CarlisleIsAlwaysSoCalmAndCollectedNothingEverSeemsToAnnoyHimButEmmettKnowsDifferently:LetMeBePerfectly Clear:IDoNotOwnTheRightsToThisListSomeoneToldMeThatNikatil@DeviantArtWroteTheActualList,IWroteTheStoriesThat YouWillFindInThisFanFic
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 3,193 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 2/20/2009 - Carlisle, Emmett - Complete
The Firelord and the Waterbender by Little Weasel Girl reviews
ZxK rated for lemon. Four years after the war. Zuko is now the Firelord. Katara is pregnant with his waterbending child. Will the Fire Nation accept her and their son? R&R.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,902 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 162 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Zuko, Katara
In Sickness and In Health by Iamokota reviews
Bella Cullen is a new patient at PPTH, but, as House tries to find a cure for her mysterious illness, he becomes fascinated by another mystery: her husband, Edward. Will brilliant Dr. House discover Edward's secret? House/Twilight crossover.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,363 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 3/27/2010 - Published: 6/21/2008
IMing With The Cullen Family by ReD-cHeRrYaNdDaNi reviews
What happens when the Cullens the pack gain IM? Random things only I can come up with. Regular randomness done by me, and anything sexual done by me too. Rated T for language & sometimes induendos
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 68 - Words: 36,375 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 2/23/2010 - Published: 10/2/2008
21 things that the cullen's can't do by team sparkel fleas reviews
excatly what it says !
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 604 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Emmett, Jasper
Siblings? by RhianneMidNightSun reviews
Carlisle...And Bella...Brother and Sister,Changed at the same time,they meet each other 300 years later in a little place called Forks!Bella meets Edward,and trouble starts! The Volturi come,and someone wants Carlisle and Bella! Bella is a little 0OC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 19,818 - Reviews: 237 - Favs: 344 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 2/18/2010 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Parent Trap by Mrs Cullen for Life reviews
ALL HUMAN. Bella Swan and Edward Cullen divorced 11 years ago, but they had twins. Bella has Annie & Edward has Hallie. But Annie & Hallie don't know this. What happens when they meet at camp & find out? Simple they create the Parent Trap.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,701 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 2/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Daughter of Aro by Mrs Cullen for Life reviews
Bella is the daughter of Aro. she lives in Volterra with her Dad and uncles, Caius and Marcus. Then at a gathering she meets the Cullen's but one in particular, Edward. Will love blossom for Edward and Bella under the watchful eye of Aro? R & R Please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 52 - Words: 86,377 - Reviews: 2119 - Favs: 1,526 - Follows: 718 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 9/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Isabella Ice Angel by Midnight Chaser reviews
Edward left Bella and Victoria changed her.Laurent becomes her big brother.After making her own coven she cames back to Forks after 20 years to meet the Cullens. Will Edward be forgiven and melt Bella's heart of ice or will a new battle tear them apart?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 96,248 - Reviews: 774 - Favs: 946 - Follows: 494 - Updated: 2/10/2010 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Brother VampBear by twird96 reviews
In his human life Emmett had a sister. Bella. Some time after he is turned, she is turned. What happens when they meet? Will Emmett handle Edward and Bella falling in love? T to be safe.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 10,526 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 284 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 2/4/2010 - Published: 5/27/2009 - Bella, Emmett
Crazy Music and the Cullens by h2ocatluvr33 reviews
A series of one shots where the cullens do crazy stuff to different songs. WARNING: may cause uncontrolable laughter! BEWARE!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,499 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 1/25/2010 - Published: 6/28/2009
Daughter Lost by Pslizy reviews
Bella is Carlisle's daughter from his human life. She also has connections to all of the Cullens from their human lives. AU, Cannon Couples *Mature themes- please adult readers only*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 22,107 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 1/14/2010 - Published: 7/29/2009 - Carlisle, Bella - Complete
Tomboy Bella by mythicalcreatures428 reviews
ALL HUMAN. Bella grew up to be a tomboy with her brothers Jasper and Emmett. When they move to Forks with their dad, Bella, Emmett, and Jasper's lives might get a lot more interesting.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 43 - Words: 35,174 - Reviews: 783 - Favs: 370 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 5/8/2009 - Bella - Complete
A Chance At Mortality by hotflower06 reviews
Sure the Cullens can live forever but what happens if they could change that?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,498 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/28/2009 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Edward, Rosalie
Twilight Commercials: The Series by pandorasnotebook reviews
Popular commercials written TWILIGHT STYLE! What more can I say...R&R
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,527 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 5/25/2008
Moments With Esme by Cocoa987 reviews
Esme, while we were on your Island, we kind of- we kind of broke your bed." "10 Tips for Aruging with Parents" "Emmett, we are not adding a tower." "I hate high school. Really." Little moments of the Cullen kids with Esme. Hilarity and love ensues.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,100 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Esme
hallucinations by hypergirl465 reviews
what will happen when Bella is stuck in her house because killer vampire James is out to get her? will she go crazy? start hallucinating? or will she realize that she actually loves him and leave Edward *gasp*?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,668 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/21/2009 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Twilighty Fun by PrincessFerdinand reviews
All the humourous Twilight stuff I've written all mashed up into one story. Includes IM conversations, parodies, and more! Chapters don't necessarily have anything to do with each other. OOC, most of the time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,276 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/13/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008
No talking! Write it down :D by madeinchina371 reviews
Notes, IMs, letters, and emails by Bella and other Twilight characters. Takes place after BD. Characters sometimes OOC. Sillyness predominates. Rated T for sexual innuendoes and potty language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 101 - Words: 45,861 - Reviews: 1522 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 130 - Updated: 12/7/2009 - Published: 8/31/2008
Frostbite Alchemist by MixedBreedMaiya reviews
Twelve years have passed since the Elric brothers disappeared into another world. Now they return to find a new addition to their circle of "friends"! However she's also the bargaining chip for a certain someone, to get her father's cooperation...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,388 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Roy M., Edward E.
HighVoltage by The Mad Satin Hatter reviews
Bella and her coven more to lla is a mind reader and has a shocking power aswell. they meet the cullen family. Jasper and Bella have known each other when they were human. will Edward and Bella fall in love. BxE NORMAL PAIRINGs *COMPLETE*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 27,557 - Reviews: 228 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Alice and the Mystical World of Aim by spazzy.random.ME reviews
Well, the title pretty much says it all. I wrote this with my bffl rokkercullen.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,340 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/13/2009 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Alice
The Ouran Host Club comes to Forks! by KATtheVampireBunny reviews
what would happen if the Ouran Host Club came to Forks and joined in at Edward and Bellas school? Tamaki asks Edward to join and Haruhi becomes best friends with Bella. And how will Forks react to TWINCEST!
Crossover - Twilight & Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,324 - Reviews: 139 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 6/11/2009
The Diary of Edward Cullen by sillychicky28 reviews
Summary: This is the story of what would have happened if Bella Swan had found a diary in the Forks' wilderness, dated 1934, by one Edward Cullen. It tells of what Twilight would have been like, if Bella had known. Story is WAY better then summary.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,298 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Carnival by Princess Casey reviews
Forks High is having a Carnival, what will happen when the cullens are helping? this is my first fic so please be gentle. Rated T just in case. Read and Review please! :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 9 - Words: 15,800 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/7/2009 - Published: 2/28/2009
Truth Or Dare: The Forks Way by Felicity Holly reviews
Hilarity ensues when the annual Forks High Picnic is held in the gym due to 'weather conditions', and Jessica suggests that they all -including Bella and the Cullens- play truth or dare.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,303 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 115 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 11/4/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008
Suspicion by Hockey-Girl32 reviews
Charlie begins to realise that the Cullens are not as normal as they seem. How far will Charlie go to uncover their secret? Answer: pretty far! As Charlie tries everything to work out what they are, craziness ensues. Out Of Control.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,551 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/1/2009 - Published: 5/4/2009
Bad Day by Hyperthia reviews
Edward Has been having a cruddy week, but today is particularly awful. Parental Roy/Ed. Rated for some language and bullying (the bullies use ableist and homophobic slurs).
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,499 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 10/29/2009 - Published: 10/20/2009 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Odd Moments with the Cullens by Evil-lil-angel-08 reviews
what happens when emmett has this crazy idea one day and he ends up doing it? will it destory the house? what will happen to everyone during this cray idea of his? madness starts in chapter 2! plz R&R the characters my seem OOC but hey whats a little fun!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 25 - Words: 34,886 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Complete
Little Emmett by I Am the Real Number Five reviews
The Cullens find an abandoned little boy named Emmett McCarthy. How will they make him feel at home? Nominated for best humour in the Moonlight awards!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 51 - Words: 119,382 - Reviews: 662 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 10/14/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Emmett - Complete
How to Annoy Your Colleague by she-wolf vixen reviews
Ed and Roy started with bothering one another on the elevator. Now, it's a full-fledged war of pranks on their colleagues. A comedy drabble series. Some Parental RoyEd! XD
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,757 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 10/14/2009 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
Baby Days by DelilahTCullen reviews
OK, so this is the sequel to BabyBella. Hmmm, seems easy...taking care of a baby, right? But, it's Edward...well, this will prove very interesting....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 22,208 - Reviews: 661 - Favs: 525 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 10/13/2009 - Published: 10/6/2008 - Complete
Notes from the Cullen Coven by paigeisavampire reviews
Characters from Twilight passing notes and such. It's back up! Everyone cheer! Huzzah! Rated T cos I curse like a sailor.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 3,670 - Reviews: 193 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/11/2009 - Published: 11/27/2008
The Worst Day by Vampire o Lover reviews
I came downstairs thinking that alice wanted me to go shoping with her but no Edward was out cold, i didn't even think vampires could go unconcious, was i ever wrong. Please read this is my first Fan Fic and i would like some feed back
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,311 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 12/23/2008 - Bella, Edward
Isabella Bielifed by MelissaRM reviews
Born in 1653, loving her parents and brother, Carlisle, Isabella lived the first 18 years of her life. Bella is changed the same day as her brother and they meet up years later in Forks, WA. Bella has her own coven... full sumery inside, i own nothing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Family - Chapters: 42 - Words: 19,193 - Reviews: 683 - Favs: 452 - Follows: 304 - Updated: 9/28/2009 - Published: 3/27/2009 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
You Don't Know The Half Of It by NotYourBestFriend reviews
Edward Cullen had it all. Fame, money, good looks. Until one day, a little girl shows up on his door step, claiming he's her father. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 45,192 - Reviews: 732 - Favs: 366 - Follows: 347 - Updated: 9/24/2009 - Published: 7/10/2009 - Edward, Bella
WalMart's Lucky Draw! by icy-abyss reviews
*Hiatus* A lucky draw from Wal-Mart allows eight lucky individuals from all over the USA to go on an all expenses paid trip to Isle Esme. Who is the lucky eight and can they forge close friendship and find love there? All Human! Cannon pairings
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,203 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 9/21/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009
Big Brother Twilight by Amberjoe reviews
Bella and her big brother Emmett go into the Big Brother house. There they meet the other twilight characters. Fun and games from there on! Edward/Bella Emmett/Rosalie Alice/Jasper Soon to be adopted by EdwardCullen'sSexyCrookedSmile !
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,755 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 9/19/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Bella, Edward
Forever Unwanted by EverlastingPixie1997 reviews
Three years. Two families. One band. Edward didn't come back in New Moon and they think Bella is dead. What happens when the Cullens see Bella on MTV and she's in a band? When they show up at one of her concerts, will sparks fly or will hell break loose?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 43,468 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 6/28/2009 - Edward, Bella
The Carlisle Babysitting Bella Series! by Carlisle'sPetiteDefenseur reviews
This will be a series of different times Carlisle is asked by Edward to babysit Bella!Hilarity ensues as they have snow ball fights,swim,play bumper cars, and the complete and total unexpected! Carlisle/Bella Friendship.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 20,835 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 127 - Updated: 9/6/2009 - Published: 12/8/2008 - Carlisle, Bella
Things each of the Cullen kids can't do by Master Spy advenger reviews
Carlisle is done with his kids behavior, so he makes lists of things they have done and can't do any more. Rated T.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 7,346 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/3/2009 - Published: 12/27/2008
Turn That Frown Upside Down Cullen Style! by Abandoned Anarchy Angel reviews
This is my first fan fiction so bare with me. Did you ever wonder what the Cullens do when their not protecting Bella or when she's not there? Well read this and find out! I apologise for the bad summary! I promise the actual story is better!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,739 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/31/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Alice - Complete
Cullen Family Vacation by Nicollette Knight reviews
The Cullens are in Chicago. What happens when they try to take a "normal" family vacation?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,823 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Complete
Dazzling Brightness by balletvaki reviews
I'll be back and we'll get married, Bella. I love you." Those were the last words i heard him say, and he hasn't come back. Ten months later, i'm getting married to Jacob Black. Rated T just in case. All human at first. please read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,195 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/30/2009 - Published: 7/2/2009 - Bella, Edward
Cullen IM by SomewhereBeyondThesePages reviews
When the Cullens, and Bella, begin to use their computers for IM, they learn things they never knew about each other. Full of randomness and shocks, you won't believe the things you read. All characters are well, out of character.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 10,638 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 8/29/2009 - Published: 10/16/2008
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2127 - Favs: 3,542 - Follows: 1,649 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Alice In Chains by CodyRhodesFan reviews
Jasper wakes up to find out that he's been imagining that he and Alice Cullen are married. He's in a hospital and he keeps speaking about Alice. Carlisle wonders how did Jasper know about his daughter. Jasper/Alice. COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 25,539 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 8/25/2009 - Published: 5/20/2009 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Truth or Dare a day with the Cullens by lizzyvamp1901 reviews
It all started with a game of Truth or Dare. Now, the Cullens will remember that summer for the rest of their eternal lives. WARNING This fanfiction includes Edward as a stripper, DETENTION, Jazz being eaten and Bella getting arrested... by Charlie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 43 - Words: 33,338 - Reviews: 1792 - Favs: 1,025 - Follows: 496 - Updated: 8/21/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
of bets and bedtimes by Ellia-chan reviews
what happens when ed makes a bet with mustang and loses? not yaoi. parental
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,680 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 8/17/2009 - Published: 4/20/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
AIM with Breaking Dawn by Fishey Stories reviews
What happens when the characters of Breaking Dawn discover AIM? Mayhem, of course. Rated T for language and suggestive themes. Very random. Never ends.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 8,085 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 8/15/2009 - Published: 8/8/2008 - Edward, Bella
Don't tell me I'm dying by CupofTeaforAliceandHatter reviews
Edward left, months later Bella received bad news. She never thought this would be how she would die. If your soul-mate left you, would you fight to live? How do you fight what's in yourself? Will Bella win her battle if given a surival rate of 5%?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,350 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 8/13/2009 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Edward, Bella
Bella oversleeps by caesara reviews
Bella oversleeps and Carlisle goes to make sure she's okay, upon Edward's request. But of course Bella is sick and Carlisle takes care of her for the day...Carlisle/Bella bonding!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,336 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 237 - Follows: 63 - Published: 8/12/2009 - Bella, Carlisle
Family Support by 4-eyedDragon reviews
This takes place right after what happened at Bella's party in New Moon.Slight spoilers for the first chapter of New Moon, so make sure you've read that before you read this. This is some brotherly bonding after Edward goes looking for Jasper. ONESHOT!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,100 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Published: 8/9/2009 - Jasper, Edward - Complete
Switched at birth by xxunowhoxx reviews
Bella Swan was switched at birth, when her biological parents are looking for her when she's 15 what is her, charlie's and everyone's reactions.came to me when watching the film switched at birth. bella and every1 else comes in chapter 2, pls give it a go
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,851 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 8/9/2009 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Bella
Let the Games Begin by lildevil76 reviews
Sequel to 'Truth or dare with the pack' read that first or you might not get some of the parts :P And for the ppl that did, this is about Bella, the Cullen's and the Pack playing various games ex. spin the bottle and twister R&R PLZ :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,791 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 7/21/2007
Bella and the Cullen Guys by WeirdRandomHyperTwilightFREAK reviews
Bella is living with 3 boys Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle. She is the familys best fighter with extra speed and srength making her very lethal. Everyone is happy but lonely until they move to Forks and meet the Platts! Love blossoms what will happen? R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,745 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 8/3/2009 - Published: 7/5/2009 - Bella
Why? Edward, why? by The Nanny Is About reviews
Edward never came back. Bella can’t handle it so she decides to commit suicide. Alice sees this will she be able to stop Bella? Edward and Bella. This is my first fanfic!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 23 - Words: 19,629 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 4/14/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Our accidental Life by Team-Edward3849 reviews
All-Human. The life of Edward and Bella. The two strangers get drunk at a bar one night and wake up married the next morning. Go with them on a life journey filled with love, laughs, and of course...mistakes. Title changed. ExB EmxR AxJ Review pleaseeeeee
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 31 - Words: 26,283 - Reviews: 804 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Bella, Edward
Cullen's Mischief: Truth or Dare by BriBri Cullen 4ever reviews
When it comes to lap dances, embarrassing costumes, and "i rather not" moments, there is only one explanation for it: truth or dare with the Cullens. all vamps except for Bella. summary sucks better than it sounds
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,700 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 6/4/2009
Bedtime Stories by hopesallthings reviews
Because Elizabeth gets so much attention and Edward Sr. doesn't get any. Just a sweet little father/son moment between him and Edward. Terrible and plotless, so only read if extremely bored. Review if you've got a minute, if not, that's fine too!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,355 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/25/2009 - Edward - Complete
Aro's Little Princess by BellaBaby2813 reviews
Bella is the daughter of Aro, one of the Volturi and is bored to death if even possible for a vampire and lonely. But that all changes when a desperate to die vampire named Edward comes along and takes her back to Forks with him.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,170 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 7/25/2009 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Bella, Edward
Carlisle Gets Sued by KCcrazy reviews
Every doctor makes a mistake sometime in their life-even the best ones, like Carlisle, who's been doing his job for centuries. What happens when he gets sued? Written for DreamStallion33's Forum Challenge.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,782 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/25/2009 - Published: 7/19/2009 - Carlisle - Complete
Dealing with Roy Mustang by E.Mahiru reviews
Edward has to deal with Roy 24 7 and things get crazy! Roy has to deal with Edward and all his stupid stunts! Through it all, Roy will learn just who Ed really is inside. Parental!RoyEd Sorry guys, voting over. GORGONZOLA
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 57 - Words: 155,611 - Reviews: 951 - Favs: 311 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 7/25/2009 - Published: 10/16/2006 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Never buy a Car with a Cullen by kat.9981 reviews
Esme decides she wants to buy a car so, the whole family comes along. Why is Edward in a trunk and why does Emmett have a Slim Jim? What sort of trouble will the Cullens get into? Takes place after New Moon. May get a little OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 18,642 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 6/20/2009 - Complete
The Cullens Go To Cedar Point by edwardandbella22 reviews
The Cullens all head on down to Sandusky, Ohio to Cedar Point! With all of your favorite Twilight characters riding the rollercoasters and rides, along with a little bet on their hands, hilarity ensues.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,601 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 7/14/2009
Cullen Family Fun Night by iHazel reviews
The Cullen Family Members are having a game night each week. Every family member will pick a game for all the family to play. What game do you think each member will pick? HMMMM...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 834 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Vampire Chat Room by Duck Life reviews
i know I'm probably the millionth person to do this, but it looked like fun! All conversations are original, if the idea is not. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 2,170 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/9/2009 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Bella, Edward
Annoying Edward by teamjacob1 reviews
Alice finds a list of ways to annoy Edward. How long untill he cracks? To Edward fans- GET OVER IT! It's all in good humor
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 12,930 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 7/8/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008 - Jasper
School Boy Crush by rock n elemental reviews
First chapter is the summary...Zutara, present day...slight Taang and Sukka too. Rated T. Chapter 11 is up! Hope you like it Read and Review please!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,319 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/7/2009 - Published: 8/13/2008 - Katara, Zuko
20 years later in canada by The Weatherwitch reviews
FIRST FANFIC YAY! twenty years after marrying edward, leaving forks and turning into a vampire, it is bellas first day at high school again. the cullens now live in canada, what do they get up to? does someone discover their secret? R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,019 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Complete
I loved her first by BMC1984 reviews
Songfic to Heartland's I loved her first. Edward watches a now grown Renesmee with Jacob, heartbroken as he realizes he is going to have to give his little girl away.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Jacob - Complete
It's Not What You Think! by fairytale city reviews
It was a regular night for edward and bella, until his his siblings get involved and get Edward arrested by Charlie! Now revenge and punishments are on everyone's minds. NOW COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 23,529 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Full Moon in Princeton by Jazelle1996 reviews
SEQUEL to Twlight in Princeton. House is contacted by PPTH to diagnose a beloved doctor. But will he be able to do his job from Denali, Alaska? Will his long-distance patient die? Edward & Bella do play a pivotal role. Read and review, please. :o
Crossover - House, M.D. & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 12 - Words: 14,427 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 5/17/2009 - G. House, Edward - Complete
Let The Games Begin by Kiara212 reviews
When a 'love'ly vampire strolls into town, with a new game to play, it spells trouble for the Twilight gang. Be prepared for cringeworthy couples and weird happenings. Love makes you do the strangest things! After BD, I don't own Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,885 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/17/2009 - Published: 2/10/2009 - Bella
When Pigs Fly by kat.9981 reviews
Emmett take the phrase 'when pigs fly' literally. Emmett ask Edward if he could drive his Volvo. Edward said he can drive it when pigs fly. Emmett is determine to drive Edward's car. Can Emmett prove to Edward that pigs can fly? Or will he fail? One-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,071 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Complete
Cullen Prank Week by BellissaAdreana reviews
Sequel to Truth or Dare Cullen Style! It's a year later, and Alice suddenley announces the Cullen's forgotten ritual of Prank Week! Now, knowing the way that the Cullens are, you know that this won't be a regular prank week! Oh no, they're going all out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,459 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 6/4/2009 - Published: 1/10/2009
Cullens and Paintball: Return of Bella by Miss Whoniverse reviews
This one isn't as good as the first one XD By all means, read it; but it degenerates rather rapidly towards the end and I'm rather ashamed of it lol. Do read the first one, though, that one is good!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,765 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/2/2009 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Complete
Blog of ONLY the Cullens by Shipper Friendly reviews
Carlisle starts a blog. This is the blog.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 14,940 - Reviews: 716 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Complete
A Cullen epidemic! by pinkcrayon1101 reviews
What happens when Bella gets the chicken pox? Bella hates staying in bed and gets rebellious, and what makes the Cullens so miserable? It will happen when they least expect it! BXE EXR EXC AXJ set before Breaking dawn, but post Eclipse! HAPPY READING! :D
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 16,252 - Reviews: 260 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 106 - Updated: 5/29/2009 - Published: 7/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
The Mighty Randomness of the Cullens by animalivebecome reviews
The Cullens make a band! And do some other random stuff
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,346 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Edward, Bella
Christmas with the Cullens by luv2write320 reviews
What will happen when the Cullens dicide to celebrate Christmas for the first time in a few years? Alice is completely in charge. Now complete. Check out my toehr stories.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,217 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 5/27/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Alice, Bella
Twilight in Princeton by Jazelle1996 reviews
House gets called upon to help a sick Bella while she and Edward check out Princeton Univ. House gets a bit more involved with the clan, and he's wondering if they can help him. House a vampire? SEQUEL ENTITLED FULL MOON IN PRINCETON.
Crossover - House, M.D. & Twilight - Rated: K - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 45 - Words: 40,029 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 4/9/2009 - G. House, Edward - Complete
Why are the girls hitting on me! by illusionofthenight yorumugen reviews
Bella Swan is an Emo Tomboy who everyone thinks is a guy. Even Edward Cullen. After first seeing he thinks his turned GAY! See what turned bella into this and will edward be able to warm and fix her broken and ice cold heart?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,218 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 2/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Return To Forks by Thunder's Blade reviews
After seventy-some years, the Cullens finally return to Forks for another four years of high school. What they didn't expect, however, was that another coven was living there, too. NOW BELONGS TO AliceOfTwilight71! yes, i quit...shame on me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 26,171 - Reviews: 203 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 5/12/2009 - Published: 12/10/2008 - Bella, Edward
High School for the Cullens by reader13lovesbooks reviews
It is a new town for the Cullens. What could possibly be horrible about six vampires stuck in a building full of hormonal teenagers and perverted staff? How about a vampire in a hospital with desperate nurses? Esme's here. Renesmee and Jacob on honeymoon
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 55,037 - Reviews: 1150 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 5/5/2009 - Published: 11/16/2008
The Lion, the Witch and the Emmett by leopardspotz17 reviews
It’s moving day for the Cullens, and Emmett decides to take a look around the new house. Chaos is unleashed when he finds a way into Narnia.
Crossover - Chronicles of Narnia & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,547 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Emmett
Computers, IM, and the Cullens by gypsyrin reviews
What happens when the Cullens get IM accounts? To many disturbing conversations to count. *rated t for some sexual hinting and language*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,108 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 10/23/2008
New Students, again by KnockturnAlly reviews
75 years after Breaking Dawn the Cullen's return to Forks. But what if not all of their new class mates are oblivious to the fact that they are vampires? R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 34,529 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 4/26/2009 - Published: 12/20/2008 - Complete
Cat Eye by DarkDefender89 reviews
So,as it turns out,Bella has a secret too:she's a WERECAT! The PROBLEM: Edward has no clue!What happens when Bella is prowling the same woods Edward hunts in..in her CAT FORM? Two families,so much to lose,so much to be afraid of: will it be Romeo & Juliet
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 16,760 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
10 Things I Hate About You by racquelli motzerelli reviews
10 things Zuko hates about Katara!...really fluffy and funnyxD...I mean really, what other can a bewildered prince do than make a list of all the things he doesn't like about the woman he loves?..please review!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,197 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 7/6/2008 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Found by dreams of bubbles reviews
Bella is Jasper's younger sister. After discovering the news of her missing brother, she runs to the forest where she is found by a vampire and changed. Now, years later, she is in Forks, and she finds the person she thought she had lost forever.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 38,328 - Reviews: 1110 - Favs: 986 - Follows: 1,016 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Bella, Jasper
Random times with the Cullens by GreekFire reviews
Weird,crazy and random stuff that the Cullens do! The rating isn't a definate.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,083 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 11/15/2008
The Amazing Race Cullen Style by EvangelineHale reviews
While Carlisle and Esme are away celebrating their anniversary for two weeks, the rest of the Cullen’s are stuck at home doing nothing. Until Rosalie comes up with the idea to play “The Amazing Race.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 12,842 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 4/15/2009 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Bella, Edward
Dare or Dare! by livetolovetwilight reviews
This is a story about Bella and the Cullen's. Alice thinks that they need to spend more time together and comes up with a great game, dare or dare. What will they do? Read to find out. All human!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,285 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 4/12/2009 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Complete
Note Passing with the Cullens! by a regular saint mary reviews
The Mysterious E? Edward's very large pockets? A dog named scampi! A series of notes, passed by the Cullens. OOC, and random. Rated T just in case. Some B.D. Spoilers!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 85 - Words: 24,308 - Reviews: 2203 - Favs: 505 - Follows: 329 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 9/1/2007
Ten Twilight Excuses by Kiara212 reviews
Small lists which are about Twilight related excuses. Feel free to use them. Suggest themes and I'll do them! And of course, I don't own Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 4,840 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/10/2009 - Published: 11/17/2008
My little girl by Inky8Fingers reviews
Carlisle and Bella have a father daughter moment while the rest of the Cullens, including Edward are off hunting. Bella turns to Carlisle to banish her dark demons. I know this plot has been done to death, but please please please, R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 705 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 39 - Published: 4/8/2009 - Carlisle, Bella
Trading Spouses Vamp Style by EdwardLuvr22 reviews
Lovely Esme doesn't bet right? Emmett decides to change that. What would happen if this bet landed the entire Cullen family into a popular TV show known as Trading Spouses? Well let's find out...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 85,550 - Reviews: 870 - Favs: 239 - Follows: 246 - Updated: 4/5/2009 - Published: 7/8/2008
What'cha willing to do? by crazy person alert reviews
when Emmet plays a prank, what will Edward do? Ya don't know, cuz you haven't read it. Sequal/Compinion to 'what would you do for a klondike bar'
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,541 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/3/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Edward, Bella
Sickness de la Cullen by Obsessivegeekybuffalosnowcones reviews
All of the Cullens get a disease and are mentally ill for about a week. All of their symptoms are different. Disclaiming now: Totally don't own Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 20 - Words: 25,571 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 4/3/2009 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Carlisle, Edward - Complete
Can Vampires Get Drunk? by SpunkInaMusca reviews
Em and Jazz are about to find out. Eternity is starting to look a lot more attractive through the rosy glow of alcohol, so get ready for insanity, jazz hands, Rocky Balboa and our two favourite vamps. A look at Twilight while ridiculously hung-over.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 20,772 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 4/2/2009 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Emmett, Jasper
The Mystical Cullen Diaries! by onpermanenthaitus reviews
Mwhahaha the cullens get online diaries! rated T because I have recently found out it is against my very being to write a child appropriate story, there is some swearing and suggestive themes. you've been warned... R and R please
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,815 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 12/21/2008
Family Game Night by amorphousclouds reviews
The Cullen gang decide, rather force Bella, to do a 'family game' night. Can you guess what game they choose? What's put in Bella's drink? Who will end up naked by the end of the night? EXB JXA EmXR Enjoy.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,358 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 2/6/2009
Questions by SaRaPiE reviews
Emmett asks strange questions
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 548 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Edward, Emmett
Stupid Ten Piece Puzzle by SunnySkies4Life reviews
Emmett decides to attempt putting together a ten piece puzzle-previously Renesmee's-and one thing leads to another...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,146 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/27/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Emmett, Renesmee C./Nessie
Mistakes Are Forever by Emmett-Rocks-LilyPad-EliteStar reviews
The Cullen family is vacationing in Hawaii and the Cullun "kids" have lots of fun with pranks, but what will happen when one prank goes too far and they get into more trouble than ever before? Previously titled: Hawaii? What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,038 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/26/2009 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Emmett
Why The Cullens Can't Babysit by Duck Life reviews
Stories about how each of the Cullens babysit Bella while Edward hunts. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 1,473 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Bella - Complete
Aim with the cullens by DeadlyPrecious reviews
What Happens when all the cullens n bella get aim
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 3,727 - Reviews: 138 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 3/22/2009 - Published: 11/12/2008
A list of things Emmett can't do! by MizzAliceCullen reviews
The Cullens family put together a list of things Emmett can't do!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 609 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Emmett, Bella
Thug Life! With the Cullens by supernova1994 reviews
Bella wants another baby, Carlisles poisoning the family, and why are Alice and Rosalie sneaking into a dark building in the middle of the night? Edward's weapon is a lollipop, and Emmett's a 'lady? Everybody's here, Esme's trying to deal with it all!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 9,422 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/19/2009 - Published: 1/23/2009
Down with Aro! by fanciful.thoughts reviews
After Felix burns Volturi Castle down with Aro's curling iron, the fearless leader himself gets it into his head that they should move to Forks and be neighbors with the Cullens- mainly to stalk Carlisle. It all goes to hell from there. Beware Caius's swearing. - CRACK; woe to you if you take Twilight seriously. - DISCONTINUED.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 15,192 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 3/11/2009 - Published: 11/25/2008 - Aro
She Is My Daughter by xXchampXx reviews
Part of the Cullen/Bella bonding. This time it is Carlisle who stays behind to watch over Bella. See what happens that makes them get closer than before. RXR. Normal parings. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 21 - Published: 3/9/2009 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Swimming by Miss Asian reviews
The Cullens are all in for the swimming plan Alice had made for the family except for Bella who seemed to be suddenly afraid of the water.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,131 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 16 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Carlisle, Bella - Complete
Truth or Dare: Bella vs Cullens by Melted-Golden-Eyes reviews
Edward’s gone hunting and the rest of the Cullen’s stayed behind with Bella. What happens when someone ‘cough’ Alice and Emmett ’cough’ wants to play the dreaded Truth or Dare? Rated T because I feel like it!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 8,102 - Reviews: 343 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 3/4/2009 - Published: 11/9/2008
Famous by twilightseries4life reviews
All human. Bella Swan and Edward Cullen are a famous hollywood couple. Edward and Bella need a break from all the hollywood madness so they get disguises and try to blend in at forks high. What will happen? Its already BxE but Give this a try.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,431 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 168 - Follows: 154 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Bella, Edward
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2792 - Favs: 573 - Follows: 330 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
Famous by mikenewtonisabadass reviews
This is twilighseries4life's story. She didn't want to continue so handed down the job to me - so that is why it starts at chapter 12! Basically, Edward and Bella are celebrities who disguise themselves at Forks High. But they aren't prepared for LAUREN!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 64 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
The Cullen Paranormal Research Society by Juicycouturegal reviews
Carlisle and Esme go away on vacation, and while they're gone, Alice, Jasper, Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Rose go ghost hunting! Mostly Alice's POV
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,365 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/1/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Complete
Chatting with The Cullens Twilight AIM by Korie.Moore reviews
I was bored so I decided to make this...thingy. It does have a plot....kind of. You'll see If you read it So yeah....I stink at making summaries.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 6,535 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 3/1/2009 - Published: 6/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
You Can't Teach An Old Dog New Tricks by borndancer reviews
Edward, Jasper and Alice think that Emmett has been dumb for one decade too many. They decide to try to teach Emmett to be clever. Is it impossible? Will Emmett ever not be stupid?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,931 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/1/2009 - Published: 9/2/2008 - Alice, Emmett
CULLENZ VZ: ONE NIGHT TWO TEAMS MANY DISASTERS by XCarlie.CullenX reviews
CULLEN BOYS VZ CULLEN GIRLS. TRICKS TRAPS AND TRIALS. EVERYTHING GOES. KIDNAPPING, WEREWOLVES AND DARES!EVEN SOME VERY GAY OUTCOMES! Nothing to serious all for fun! PLEASE R&R! :D
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 13,815 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 3/1/2009 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Complete
Emmett Cullen and the Marshmallow by simply-dazzling001 reviews
Post Breaking Dawn, possible spoilers! Nessie's at home, and getting hungry. But Emmett's the only one at home who can cook edible food. What happens when she learns of Emmett's fear of......*gasp* marshmallows?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 939 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Complete
Emmetts History by SparklieEdwardOmg reviews
Emmetts history lesson Funny R&R
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 457 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/26/2009 - Published: 2/21/2009 - Emmett, Rosalie
Emmett's diary by kill me tomorrow reviews
Who knew our most muscular Cullen kept a pink diary? Too bad the others had to find out. Revenge is sweet, isn't it Emmett? AIM style. First fanfiction.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 10,930 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 2/24/2009 - Published: 1/30/2009
christmas with the cullens by LOSHfan4546 reviews
what happens when Bella Swan goes over to a house full of vampires for christmas? and why is Rose making cookies? alice picks out a dress for bella and emmett likes it. rated T for some of the gifts some of the cullens and bella get for christmas R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 3,786 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 2/20/2009 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Complete
Truth or Dare? by TwiGuy reviews
What kind of story has Edward kissing another girl for ten seconds or Alice in a cow costume. Emmet peeing in the middle of the road* and Rosalie doing the chicken dance with senors. Truth or Dare! *Rated T for inappropriate listings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 1,644 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 2/17/2009 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
Our New Home by Vampirness1901 reviews
The Cullen's move to England. What will happen? A new adventure. READ & REVIEW. FIRST FANFICTION!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,804 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/16/2009 - Published: 1/4/2009
The Cullen Song! by Twilight Black Shadow reviews
The Llama song has been re-done. Look here for the Cullen's version.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 12/15/2008 - Complete
Food Fights by KellmettRocksThatHat reviews
Bella looses her cool at Emmett at lunchtime!The result a massive Food Fight!Now extended!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,368 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 249 - Follows: 191 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Bella, Jasper
20 Ways To Annoy Our Favorite Twilight Characters by Rosalice reviews
Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalice, Rosabelle, Leah, Aro, Caius, and more!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 4,637 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 9/11/2008
Random Conversations in the Cullen Household by summermissmoo reviews
Does what it says on the tin!AFTER BD!MAJOR SPOILERS!Inside:Competions,7 chapters,dedications and other Cool Stuff from:BiteMeCullenJustDoIt and Co!LEMONY INNUENDOS!DISCLAIMER: THE CHARCTERS IN THIS FANFICTION IS PROPERTY OF STEPHENIE MEYER
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,031 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 2/15/2009 - Published: 12/11/2008 - Complete
Dare for the Cullens by Bookcoolie97 reviews
When the Cullen family and Jacob engage thmselves in a game of Dare the Dares keep getting weirder. Then you have the Brett man.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,499 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 2/13/2009 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Bella, Emmett
All You Need Is Paper And A Pencil by pixievamp reviews
Bella gets strep throat and lost her voice. What happens when Alice gives her paper and a pencil? Notes with storytime, sporks, and lots of mayhem.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,607 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/12/2009 - Published: 8/30/2008
Grocery Store Fun by Ghislaine Cullen reviews
The Cullens? At the grocery store? Why in the heck are they at the grocery store? Well, just read it, darn you!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,730 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/12/2009 - Published: 1/22/2009
GIVE ME THE PEN! by Shawdee reviews
NOTE'S WITH THE CULLEN'S AND BELLA! Set During Eclipse. AU/OOC All canon pairings. DISCONTINUED
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,332 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/8/2009 - Published: 2/7/2009
Beach? or Private Island? by figlia di Atena reviews
Bella thinks she is going to a beach in southern california for the weekend. How will she react when she finds out that the beach is on a private island that the Cullens OWN! What adventures lay ahead? Usual pairings. Rating may change.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,943 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 6/24/2008
Alice and the Mystical World of AIM! by block mango reino reviews
the title says it all... co written with my bffl ostentatious.spontanious.ME R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,731 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 2/5/2009 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Alice
Vampire High by XOXOSABRINAA reviews
After BD. Bella,Cullens,Hales,Jacob,and Nessie end up going to a highschool in Idaho. Many guys & girls hit on Bella, and many girls hit on Edward. Very jealous Edward, and overconfident guys don't mix.ALL VAMP cept Jake&Ness.B-E EM-R JAS-A JAC-NES
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,968 - Reviews: 314 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 2/5/2009 - Published: 10/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Randomness with the Cullens by Perfectly-Imperfect1996 reviews
the cullens bella were bord in school one day and are now passing notes alot funnier than my summery. FINISHED for now.. Checkl out Family compute for more randomness
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,762 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 2/2/2009 - Published: 10/21/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
10 Things: Twilight Style by a little erratic reviews
Lists of 10 things such as: 10 Things the Volturi Frequently do, 10 Things Edward Does while Bella Sleeps, and 10 Cullen Nicknames! Which Twilight character bought a Snuggie? Find out in Ch. 7! Companion to 10 Things: Harry Potter Style. More to come!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Aro, Bella
It's Like by patch138 reviews
The Cullens play a little game until the rest of the family gets home.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 948 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Bella - Complete
CullenIMing by emzycullen reviews
What happens when The Cullens get IM accounts click to find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 557 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/31/2009
Parental Control: Twilight Style by Rose Tyler reviews
The MTV dating show, Twilight style.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,044 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/30/2009 - Complete
Emmett Events by SarcasticTraitor reviews
Daily fun with Emmett in 3 easy steps: Part 1, The Wonderful Cullens at Forks High: Emmett before Twilight. Part 2: Emmett's Random Events and Part 3 Hey, Ho, Hey, Ho, To Camp We Go!The Cullens all go camping! Includes Chinese, so read at your own risk!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,746 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/28/2009 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Emmett - Complete
The Gift by bookworm1984 reviews
It's the day of Bella and Edward's wedding. Carlisle and Esme present Bella with a gift.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 844 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
Chatroom: Cullen Style by mrs-I-love-EdwardCullen reviews
Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett have trouble keeping a secret from Bella on an IM conversation, and Edward isn't very happy with them. Turns into a bunch of IM conversations, some notes, and various other things. -Alice
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,592 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 1/23/2009 - Published: 1/19/2009 - Bella
Randomness by Soulmate of Mr. Whitlock-Hale reviews
What happens when the Cullens are bored and occaisonally while Edward is hunting. Random fun of course! Read to find out what exactlly happens. I know, I am horrible at summaries.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,877 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 1/23/2009 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Bella, Jasper
Secrets Revealed: ZUTARA! by zutarababe reviews
After the war, there's gotta be a party! i mean come on! a war ends and there's no party? That's just crazy! Find out everyone's secret...cuz everyone has a secret...Zutara! And boy are they interesting...Rated T for swearing
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,429 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/20/2009 - Published: 9/3/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Let The Truth Begin by luvemmett reviews
Next time it's Truth or Truth,' Emmett said as he slammed his door shut...well he wasn't lying. After they all got busted for Dare or Dare, Emmett's ready for the next round...what will happen this time? *Sequel to Let The Games Begin*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,092 - Reviews: 525 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Complete
Emmett and Truth or Dare What Could Go Wrong? by RandomCullenFanGirl1901 reviews
When Emmett decides to play truth or dare, the Cullen clan is wrapped up in their crazy brother's game. Hilarity ensues, and no one is safe. My summaries suck... Rated T due to extreme paranoia. Canon pairings. Takes place Post Eclipse but Pre BD. REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,586 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 1/17/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Emmett
Emmett LOVES Peanut Butter! by fanwriter95 reviews
What happens when Emmett gets hooked on peanut butter? Tons! Jasper goes shopping, The family goes on a gameshow, and you should see who they're playing! Just a little OOC, but not much.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,641 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/13/2009 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Emmett - Complete
Katara's the Man by Butter-Mutt reviews
She's the Man: Katara was a tomboy, but she takes that label way too far when she impersonates Sokka and goes to his school to show people that girls are equal to boys, but will she get in too deep when she meets the boy of her dreams: Zutara and others
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,125 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Katara, Zuko
Truth or Dare Cullen Style by BellissaAdreana reviews
Emmett is annoying Bella so they make a deal saying the Cullens will play any game Emmet wants if he stops torturing Bella. What game will Emmet choose? And what happens when Alice invites another coven of animal-drinking vampires? After Breaking Dawn!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,109 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 1/7/2009 - Published: 11/28/2008 - Complete
STARVATION by deathpenity17 reviews
Bella gets abused. Who helps her? No one. someones angry at her dad. So what does 'it' do? 'It' falls for her. That's what. REVIEW EVERY CHAPTER YOU READ. !DON'T LIKE DON'T READ
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 29 - Words: 32,552 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Carlisle, Bella
Cullen's Usage of AIM by I Love Edward Cullen262 reviews
The title kinda explains it all.....but wacky and insane events happen along the way...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 553 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 11/23/2008
Bella 6 to 18 by Lollipopleeches reviews
When Bella falls down a flight of stairs and hits her head, she suddenly thinks she is 6 years old! How will Edward and the rest of the crew cope with her new self? And what will happen when her old self returns?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,646 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 9/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
Memories by InsaneGrizzlies reviews
Bella is a vampire and the Cullens are gone. She's going to school with two other vampires and suddenly the Cullens start appearing one by one in odd ways. What happened all those years ago? and why are they all so sad? please R&R. thanks all.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 29,770 - Reviews: 365 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 1/2/2009 - Published: 10/24/2007 - Complete
The Cullens Love IMing by A.A. Silver reviews
I know there are a lot of these, but I felt that I should do one too. Please R&R.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 3,114 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 11/26/2008
Oh the Irony by onpermanenthaitus reviews
Rated T for cursing and slight suggestive themes... CHAPTER THREE 3 IS NOW UP! after a very very long wait itys up * thx to a new computer ; please r & r. **now partially edited
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,503 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Complete
Notes by Llama Mama23 reviews
Edward and Bella are caught passing notes in class. The teacher has the note read to the class. A series of embarassing events ensues, including Edward in a trunk, Bella in a gas mask, Carlisle as Tarazn, and Emmett with blue hair.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,990 - Reviews: 2866 - Favs: 2,061 - Follows: 968 - Updated: 12/29/2008 - Published: 5/14/2007 - Complete
Bullshit! by GingerMarauderette reviews
Edward, Bella and all the rest of the Twilight gang play Bullshit. Will Emmett, the reigning champion be taken down? If so, by whom? I was bored, don't blame me. One-shot. Rated T for repeated use of "Bullshit"
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 946 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 9 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Bellasitting by Infinitypoet reviews
This will be a series of one shots involving different members of the Cullen clan babysitting Bella while Edward is hunting. Set around Eclipse. Emmett POV first. Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 928 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 25 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Bella
What REALLY happened in the Ballet studio by ReallyLoudObserver reviews
When Bella walked in she never expected to see THIS. Now a SERIES of one shots.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,431 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 12/28/2008 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Bella, James
Just another day by Parawhoreanimegirl 11 reviews
okay its a normal day at the cullen household and emmett is acting strange *again* set after bd please be nice first fan fic
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 818 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Emmett
What Emmett ponders by Beckah-lynn reviews
Emmett Cullen has a very vivid imagination. The littlest things will put ideas in his head. So what kind of things do we find out when he decides to voice these things? His frist quesstion is "What are tampons used for?" read for a good laugh.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,460 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/27/2008 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Emmett
CHAT by niq31 reviews
The Cullen Family having a bonding time. Chatting. Its Very interesting. so.. READ and COMMENT. REMEMBER. READ and COMMENT.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,233 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Complete
I Wanna Be In The Olympics by Random Writer's Account reviews
What would happen if all the Cullens and Jacob go to the Olympics? After Breaking Dawn. Enter and see.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,707 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 11/6/2008
Sore Throat by bookaddict209 reviews
Bella hates doctors. And when she gets a sore throat, she doesn't tell Edward because she knows exactly who he'll go to. Turns out, it's worse than just a sore throat.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,787 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 100 - Updated: 12/24/2008 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Mistaken Vows by twi-ction reviews
AU, Post New Moon. Three years after their departure from Forks, Bella turns up as one of Carlisle's intensive care patients with no family to claim her when she recovers. Will Bella tell Edward the truth of her recent past, or try to spare him the pain?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 57,272 - Reviews: 1230 - Favs: 1,473 - Follows: 575 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Sex Talk by RedPrince-Chan reviews
Its about time when Renesmee and Jacob start dating. But before they can even hold hands Edward and Bella give them 'the talk'. I think its funnier then it sounds lol
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,251 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/16/2008 - Complete
Orphans by Wohitzi reviews
During a search for the prince's mother, Zuko and Katara find an young orphan in the ruins of a village. They decide to take the girl with them, not knowing the events it will lead to.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 22 - Words: 35,119 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
what would you do for a klondike bar? by crazy person alert reviews
what would aro and emmet do for klondike bars? WE WILL FIND OUT! now complete. epilouge in Jasper pov!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,343 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/12/2008 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Aro, Emmett - Complete
Blind As Night by Twerd4eva reviews
A new girl comes to Forks who Bella has a lot in common with. A little too much in common.What will happen when she spends too much time with her? I suck at summarys! First fanfic! Please read and review! TwerdxXx
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,370 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/10/2008 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Little Help Please? by borndancer reviews
Bella has a little situation with her trousers whilst having a seemingly innocent human moment. What can Edward do to help? And why is Alice so worked up? ONESHOT BXE
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/7/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Til I Can't Eat No More by Dandelion Cat reviews
With Charlie out of town, Bella has Thanksgiving dinner with the Cullens. But what happens when you're the only person who can eat the food? . . . . . you have to eat it all yourself, that's what.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,846 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 5 - Published: 12/6/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Let The Games Begin by luvemmett reviews
Bella joins the Cullens for Truth and Dare, except it's not your ordinary Truth and Dare - this is Cullen Style. How does Edward get stuck in Bella's truck with Mike and Jake? And what's with Alice in Wal-mart clothes? Who will win? Who will chcken out?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 37,071 - Reviews: 1077 - Favs: 512 - Follows: 233 - Updated: 12/3/2008 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Complete
A pet for Emmett by TwilightFanatic01 reviews
*ONE SHOT* Emmett is super bored, and what is better to do than to go get a new companion? Cute fluff that will leave everyone giggling. Please read and review. Constructive criticism is welcomed.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 975 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Emmett - Complete
Operation: Win Bet by DaniLovesSpunkRansom reviews
Emmett and Edward start a bet. They can't touch their wives for 24 hours. First one to cave has to eat a meal at Taco Bell! Post BD A little OOC at times. One Shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,926 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Edward, Emmett - Complete
Vampires, Werewolves, and Mad Libs OH MY! by DeadInExistence reviews
Somehow, Bella is convinced to host a birthday party for Reneesme. And, to top it all off, Bella is forced to take part in a Mad Lib, as well as the rest of the Cullens and the wolves. What chaos will come to our favorite Twilight characters?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,522 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
Hiding In The Lingerie Department by ink-stained-rose reviews
ONE-SHOT! Ten years after they've left Forks the Cullens are in Seattle Mall. But...they haven't counted on their friends from high-school being there! Can they hide and protect thir secret?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,738 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/1/2008 - Complete
The Volturi Shop Lift by MyNameIsLeslieAnneLevine reviews
The Volturi actually are evil! Evil enough to break into... VICTORIA SECRET!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 180 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Demetri, Aro - Complete
10 things each of the cullen kids can't do anymore by sunset moon dove reviews
five lists each listing ten things that each individule cullen kid can't do anymore! REALLY FUNNY! HIGHLY RECOMENDED!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,182 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Carlisle, Esme - Complete
Get Outta My Ambulance by ToWriteLoveOnAPage reviews
Bella's in a neck brace while Edward gets to ride shot gun? How unfair! Humiliation and degradation ensue. A missing moment from chapter 3 of Twilight.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Cullen's VS WalMart by dark dreaming vamp reviews
Bella and the cullens decide to take a couple trips to walmart. what happens in walmart, stays in walmart. i tried to have the characters act the same but who knows. all vampires except bella
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,159 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 76 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 8/4/2008
Dr Carlisle Cullen, MD, VAMPIRE! by xRockerxPrincessx reviews
Forks, Washington is one of the most dangerous towns in the U.S.A.; considering its inhabitants include a coven of vampires, and a pack of werewolves. So, when faced with a medical dilemma, who better to call on then, Dr. Carlisle Cullen,M.D.,VAMPIRE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 631 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Carlisle
Emmett's Thanks Giving by DahliaLilly reviews
Just a little one shot about Emmett and the Thanks Giving day parade...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 503 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Emmett, Rosalie - Complete
Dinner at the Cullen House by VampireGaaraCheesepuffs reviews
Turkey day is being overshadowed by Christmas this year! So I just wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Bella, Charlie S. - Complete
Awkward Day by pandorasnotebook reviews
Awkward Day is the Cullen's favorite holiday when you add 'In my pants' or 'In bed' to the end of every sentence. Poor Edward. Oneshot!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,495 - Reviews: 399 - Favs: 476 - Follows: 70 - Published: 11/27/2008 - Complete
Bella and Chocolate by XoXsweetbloodXoX reviews
Bella on her period......what happens?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,694 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 15 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Pepper Spray by SmilingJane reviews
What effect does it really have? This is a one-shot about the Twilight movie.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 572 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Bella, James - Complete
All In A Day At the Cullens by phix27 reviews
Bella has a 'sleepover' with Alice. When she wakes up, she realizes just what the Cullen's house is really like.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 542 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Things That happen When Emmett Get's Bored by AliceCullen351 reviews
Well the title pretty much says it all. oneshot Caution contains bd spoilers. hope you like. beware of major emmettness
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/24/2008 - Emmett - Complete
The Cullen Family! by The Diamond in the Rocks reviews
The Cullen Family is at a new high school in Alaska and the students there seem to think that they are creepy, cooky, mysterious and spooky. Review! Now edited into a bunch of random funny snippets.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,618 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/22/2008 - Published: 7/15/2008 - Complete
Starlit Sky by C-artist
A new life, a new start... New friends, new family... things I never had... And this new gift... Wonder how I got it... new character, parody to twilight only starts from when their hiding form James follows the rest of the book slightly Edward/Bell
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,073 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/20/2008
Bowling with the Cullens by Marie Alice Brandon Cullen reviews
What happens when you get together 7 vampires, 1 clumsy human and go bowling? Why is some guy going to the hospital? What's wrong with Jasper? Why is he jumping like a little girl? And why is Bella doing the splits? First fanfic so please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 11,371 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/15/2008 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Complete
Cyclone Sunday by PaigeMariexoxo reviews
When Emmett drags Bella and Edward downstairs to play Truth Or Dare when Renesmee isn't home, things take a turn for the worst. Edward and Bella have to do a dance to the song Cyclone. Someone walks in during the dance, and things get nasty. More oneshots
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,128 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 11/14/2008 - Published: 10/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
100 years later by fanpire16 reviews
This story is set 100 years after Breaking Dawn, Edward and Bella move back to Forks with the Cullen’s and Nessie and Jacob,they start school all over again,a little bit of fluff. Post Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,872 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 11/13/2008 - Published: 11/10/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Chatting with the Cullens by IronHeartAlchemist reviews
My first Im thingy..its actually quite funny
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,656 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/10/2008 - Published: 11/8/2008
The Joker by TayBee reviews
When Mr. Banner tells a joke in biology, Bella realizes that getting a joke to surprise Edward is more difficult than she thought. Takes place after Twilight. I own nothing. First FF. COMPLETED!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,568 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 11/9/2008 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Renesmee's New Pony by UltimateFanpire20 reviews
Renesmee gets a new pony named Sparkles. But what happens to it? Read and find out : Notice that this is very short, and its basically a story made out of an inside joke between me and my friend Morgan
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 203 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/9/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Mother Nature's Gift by 0041523 reviews
What happens when Bella receives Mother Nature's "Gift" a bit earlier than expected? Let's just say that Bella has some odd cravings... Just a little 1Shot about Bella and her period.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 962 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/8/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Rising Sunset by July's fantasies reviews
After Breaking dawn. 5th book! Bella and the cullens are starting college life in Dartmouth. How would New Vampire Bella and her dazzling husband Edward make their entrance in Dartmouth? Bound to be InTeReStInG! Reviews and comments would be nice!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 19,873 - Reviews: 129 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 11/8/2008 - Published: 9/4/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Random Peek into the Life of the Cullens by ortera reviews
Bella, Edward, and the rest of the Cullen gang move to charming Segoe, Ontario! Post-Eclipse, BD never happened. All vampires, normal pairings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,097 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/7/2008 - Published: 10/22/2008 - Bella, Edward
Stay Close, Don't Go by BudhaBeads reviews
Bella has spent her life moving from one place to another. Will her life in Port Angeles be temporary as well? Or will a certain Edward Cullen steer things in a different direction? Rated M for later chapters. Lemon. All human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,696 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 11/7/2008 - Published: 9/4/2008 - Bella, Edward
Music of her mind by venomousgal reviews
Edward did not come back to Forks. Laurent bit Bella before the wolves could destroy him. Bella has changed and has been trying to find Edward for two years. She becomes a musician in hopes of someday reaching him through her music.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 26,003 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 568 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 11/4/2008 - Published: 9/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
When the past comes back to bite you by venomousgal reviews
BD spoilers! What if Rosalie helped Bella by distracting Edward so she could escape with her unborn child in chapter 7? What if Renesmee grew up never knowing Edward? What happens when her and Bella return to Seattle 20 years later?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,075 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 164 - Updated: 11/2/2008 - Published: 10/8/2008 - Bella, Renesmee C./Nessie
Bella's Random List by death princess saya reviews
Bella has decided to write a list of odd things she wants to know if Edward can do or not. She gets help from Alice so now its on! What kind of havoc will the list bring in one night? One-shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,343 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Vampires on Crack by alicene reviews
Tanya visits unexpectedly and all the vampires are high.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 429 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Over In One Chapter Myspace Chatroom by evill twin of toast rox reviews
Just an extremely horrible oneshot where Edward, Bella, Emmett, and Mike are all in a myspace chatroom together....
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 534 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Complete
These Situations by she-wolf vixen reviews
A ninja-training facility in Xing is using human transmutation to gain homunculi-like qualities. It's up to Ed, disguised as a female, to infiltrate the building and find out what's going on. PARENTAL ROY/ED FIC
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,349 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 10/7/2008 - Published: 7/27/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
The Cullen Clan's Day Off by X alisunshine X reviews
Ever wonder what the Cullens do on their days off? What crazy moments they must have? Well, now you can know! Someone has finally decided to document it all! Please R&R, atlease READ! Rated Teen for Safety. Sorry if any spelling mistakes. I can't spell.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,650 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/28/2008 - Published: 8/31/2008
o0Twilight Chatroom0o by Hmfsoccer reviews
i wanted to give it a try me nd my friend were bored and only usually write Warrior stories
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,610 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/26/2008 - Published: 6/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
BabyBella! by DelilahTCullen reviews
Edward has deal with something he didn't expect at all. It involves his precious Bella, so how does he react to...taking care of Bella in diapers? Theres some language, therefore rated T. Hope you guys like it.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 11 - Words: 21,516 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 618 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 9/26/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Complete
Trauma Minor by Lady Saffir reviews
Carlisle gets an unexpected visit from Bella at work.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,433 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 342 - Follows: 57 - Published: 9/26/2008 - Bella, Carlisle - Complete
One Hundred Pieces by CaptainKase reviews
One hundred drabbles, one hundred words, one hundred days, and one hundred pieces of the Elric brothers' lives. Drabble Fifty-Seven: Sunset.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 57 - Words: 8,506 - Reviews: 361 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 9/20/2008 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
The Full Effects of Morphine by DodgerHolden reviews
Bella's transformation conversation with Carlisle. Bella decides that it is time that Carlisle knows the truth about her becoming a vampire. Oneshot. A scene I felt was left out from Breaking Dawn.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,514 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 17 - Published: 9/19/2008 - [Bella, Edward] Carlisle - Complete
You and the Prince by LaSt wiTcH reviews
A oneshot for all the Zuko fans!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,340 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/6/2008 - Zuko - Complete
Better Than Me by Idrelle Miocovani reviews
Sometimes forgiveness is a difficult thing to accept when you can't forgive yourself. Zuko and Katara missing scene. Reviews and comments are much appreciated!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,037 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 9/5/2008 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
What I Cherished by tornac reviews
It was too late, thought Katara. He loves another... -Zutara Angst-
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Sozin's Comet: Avatar Aang by bluetarako reviews
Basically a rewrite of the last episode, the way it should've ended Zutara style . It would make more sense if I did all four, but I was lazy. Enjoy!
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,914 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Midnight Toph by naeli reviews
As Toph makes her nightly meanderings, she happens upon the sounds of human error. Slightly changed.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 571 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/25/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Sokka's Field Guide, I: Dealing With Women by Lady Flick reviews
ZUTARA. Sokka schools Zuko on the ladies. CH10: “UNDERPANTS!" COMPLETE! :D
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 24,352 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 556 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 8/24/2008 - Published: 4/6/2008 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Deleted Scenes from Sozin's Comet by kzschool reviews
Zuko and Katara's unseen interaction after Azula shot Zuko. They both love each other but decide to go their separate ways only to meet up again in the future. We also find out why Katara isn't wearing her mom's necklace in the end :P
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,420 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Chibified by Selim reviews
COMPLETED. It looked like an innocent alchemy book, but it was anything but. After activating it, Edward becomes a four year old child in body and mind, and the only person eligible to take care of this child is a reluctant Colonel Mustang.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 26,299 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 213 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 5/21/2007 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
Smack that, Cullen Style by laalaa1123 reviews
The Cullens remake the song, "Smack that" by Akon. Then, Bella gets mad at Edward. Hm... Read! Really funny! ONE SHOT
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 5 - Published: 8/10/2008 - Complete
OPeration payback by PKS reviews
Ed's sick of Roy's constant pranks and decides to play one of his own, the end result is a prank war! i've decided im going to have a slash, and you all know it's RoyxEd! complete
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,703 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/7/2008 - Published: 7/29/2008 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Slave of war by Ophelia Davis reviews
When the Ishbalans call a war Edward is immediately thrown into the middle of it. But when Edward kills a man can he handle it? And what happens when Edward is captured? Find out... Rated T for war themes and child cruelty
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 9,635 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 7/11/2008 - Edward E., Roy M.
Stormbenders by Fandomme reviews
S3 AU from FBM. Deep in the Fire Nation jungle, the Gaang meets a group of rogue water ninja who send Zuko and Katara on a mission to retrieve Ozai's secret battle plans.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 171,033 - Reviews: 2804 - Favs: 3,656 - Follows: 986 - Updated: 7/20/2008 - Published: 2/21/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
No More Cards For Emmett by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Why isn't Emmett allowed to play cards anymore? Read to find out! onexshot.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,420 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 12 - Published: 6/6/2008 - Complete
Crossroads of destiny, but different! by C-artist reviews
Every Zutaralover wishes this episode was different, so here is one that I hope you will love. Finally they come together! Zutara I'm sorry for the out of character, but I had to make a short one and than it became rash.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,425 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/4/2008 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8347 - Favs: 7,479 - Follows: 1,718 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Father by Shadow Kat-Lyn reviews
A conversation in front of a grave makes one young boy realize that his father maybe- just maybe- might not be as bad as he thought... One-shot, post-series, no true pairings.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,042 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 24 - Published: 4/18/2008 - Roy M., Edward E. - Complete
Volturi Daughters by Blue eyed vampwolf reviews
Alice,Bella,and Rosalie are the daughters of Aro,Marcus,and Caius Volturi. What will happen when the Cullen family visit Volterra?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,175 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 2/24/2008 - Published: 12/9/2007
Congratulations! Meet your new parents! by nogardikust reviews
Roy and Riza finially got married! Riza want's to have children of her own someday but for now she is going to adopt a certain pair of siblings and Roy isn't happy with her choice...
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,414 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Roy M., Riza H.
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 1,070 - Follows: 293 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
The Western Air Temple: A Shipper's Parody by Some Scribbles reviews
SPOILERS for Day of Black Sun. At the Western Air Temple, Zuko revealed himself to Aang and the gang. They were understandably suspicious of his motives. “I’ve changed!” cried Zuko. “Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” Katara huffed and iced him to a tree.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/10/2007 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Photograph by TenshiShanai reviews
Ed and his family are having fun with friends in the Christmas holidays. It's a sidestory to 'A second chance for a life' and takes place between Chapter 8 and 9, but you don't have to read the it to enjoy it. Parental!RoyXEd Parental!RizaXEd AU OOCness
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,330 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/6/2007 - Published: 12/3/2007 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Wanted Return by Spirit of Roses reviews
Young Lt. Colonel Roy Mustang is sent off to war, away from his two foster sons, Edward and Alphonse Elric. Will he return back to give back Ed's faith in a good father? Parental!RoyEd
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 613 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 5 - Published: 11/9/2007 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Fullmetal Sitting by Deathly-Chakra reviews
Edward gets placed on House arrest. Since he doesn’t have a home close to the department he has to stay with Roy. For 2 months Parental, Ed&Roy, NonYaoi
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,362 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 10/15/2007 - Published: 8/4/2007 - Edward E., Roy M.
Real Life by Suyami reviews
AU twist on the season finale. Basically, Zuko and Katara watch the season finale and wonder about WHY Mike and Bryan broke their promise to them about making it Zutara.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,224 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 9/2/2007 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Zuko, Katara - Complete
Sparring Practice by Hikaru a reviews
[Zutara] Aang hears something that he shouldn't.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,295 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 10 - Published: 2/28/2007 - Katara, Zuko - Complete
Click: Avatar Style by bookworm2929 reviews
With the help of my trusty Universal Remote, I must navigate my way through the first two seasons of Avatar to knock some sense into Zuko, and anyone else who gets in my way, for being such a nasy traitor. Of course, I mess up a few things along the way.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 688 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/5/2007 - Zuko, Katara
Everyone Knows That Cooties Don't Exist by Rashaka reviews
A line from episode 15, and four different takes on it. Humor.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 588 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 45 - Published: 10/13/2005 - Zuko, Katara
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A Father's Love reviews
“If I don’t come back, I’ll find you, no matter what. Nothing in this world can keep me from coming back to you again.” “Mkay.” A father's love for his daughter is eternal and will stop at nothing to reach her again no matter the distance between the two
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,091 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 10/21/2009 - Published: 9/14/2009 - Bella, Carlisle
Randomness with the Twilight Characters :P reviews
Bella paper or laptop THIS! yeah, yeah, every one has these things. i just decided to make one. out of sheer randomness. can be either notes, or AIM. characters OOC.vamp is vamp, wolf is wolf, bella is human. before BD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,097 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/14/2009 - Published: 12/21/2008
Rough Around the Edges
SET IN MID-ECLIPSE take the cullen family, a newborn vamp, her family, a human who has issues, jacob black. not to mention the newborn army victoria created. Add some romance, subtract a life, and try to keep up with all the twists! canon pairings R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,870 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 4/26/2009 - Published: 1/10/2009
Just One Hug reviews
this is my first one-shot i ever wrote! woot! :D I suck at summaries... xD oh well. the full summary is inside! CLICK! :D tell me what you think! any ideas to what I'm gonna do next? all human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 512 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete